Dumb Blonde - TBT: Elle King

Episode Date: August 28, 2025

Throwback ThursdayElle King proves she’s a powerhouse in this week’s candid sit-down with Bunnie. She opens up about the truth behind her viral Grand Ole Opry performance, the heartfelt encouragement she received from Dolly Parton, and the steps she’s taken on her path of healing and self-discovery. Elle reflects on her one-of-a-kind childhood as the daughter of comedian Rob Schneider, sharing both the laughter and the struggles of growing up in the spotlight. She also gets real about motherhood—the highs, the lows, and co-parenting with her baby’s father—and how those experiences shaped her latest music, including Baby Daddy’s Weekend, and her ongoing tour.Elle KingWatch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I want to know why and the hell are you not on Patreon. I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny X-O show. We have Meet the DeFords. We have popaganda. We have more shows that we're adding. And not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast.

Not only that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget and everybody gets the podcast. There's no more excuses. Head over to www. www. patreon.com backslash Dumblon podcast and sign up. Stop missing out. We have built a huge community over there, guys.

I'm talking about hundreds of thousands of people over there. We even have live chats. Live chats that I actually am talking in every single night. Last but not least, we give away gifts every freaking month. I'm talking like signed stuff from Jay and I, lives. just never know what kind of surprise you're going to get. It's like a cracker jack box. I love the community that we've built over there at Patreon. If you are already a Patreon member, I freaking love you, dude. Thank you so much. You guys are my babies for life, my writers.

If I could, I would literally make out with each and every one of you. I love you guys so much. And that's a lot of kisses, actually. Got to go by. Is this thing about... Is this thing on, Barney? I have to be the coolest kids. Is this thing on? What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Today, I am so excited because I have been wanting this guest forever.

Ever since your first album came out, I have been obsessed with you. And not to mention your dad was one of my childhood crushes. Oh, my gosh. El King is in the house, baby. Wow. I have been waiting for you to come because you do not know how obsessed I was with Deuce Bigelow. No, you know, I was in that. I did not know that.

Wow, a little foreshadowing. You're like, we're going to be friends. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I was the little Girl Scout. I love that. I never even knew that. But, I mean, I just, I've always been, like, John Candy and, like, funny comedians were always my thing.

and your dad like I knew I knew he was like the tiniest little thing ever but I was just like if he finds this out he's gonna be like I've still got it oh no dude Rob Schneider was like it was Rob Schneider Drew Carey like I had a list of like comedians that I loved as a child I always go for funny over anything like I mean I've dated all kinds of different people um but if you make me laugh you get my heart and my vagina and my vagina I'm telling you man you make me laugh my legs are spread wide open yeah and like throwing like a neck tat like sold oh they have to have tattoos yes do you have to date a man with tattoos or can you date a man who has bare skin i i'll try anything twice i love that um but i do tend to get along better um with i don't know it just i i like people who have tattoos it's same you can withstand if someone's like covered in tattoos like they can withstand some things or they've been through things you know or they have that like rough around the edges thing yeah i feel like if if we're flesh all a mesh and i'm the only one of tattoos i feel like one of these kids is doing its own thing and i like want you to be

on my team you know like you need to be covered in tattoos too yeah definitely are you dating right now? I am actually back with my baby daddy. Oh, we're going to dive into this. Okay, hence the tour name, right? Yes, yes. And we broke up for a year and I was going through really, really insane postpartum. And I don't even think that I realized I was going through it until I kind of got out of it. And we were already broken up and he just kept showing up. And he just kept showing up. And we became best friends. And then through like custody and everything and working together and like a lot of therapy on my part, we like restarted our communication, our like respect for each other. And I just, I never stopped being in love with him.

And then finally he was just like, I wore the right set of underwear and just like locked in. I love that. And we're doing really, really well. I feel I love that you're talking about postpartum, though. because I feel like a lot of women in the spotlight like you guys literally will have babies and then you're thrust back into the spotlight and it's like

you don't have time to heal, you don't have time to nurture yourself. No. And then the world wants to be mad at you if like you're not this picture perfect human that they put you on this pedestal. Yeah, it's honestly like it's kind of fucked up because I I really struggled

to get pregnant in a lot of different relationships and now I know it's like God's timing is not up to us and even our baby's timing is not up to us and I think that like the pandemic everything was shut down

and I was able to like rest I sold my house in L.A. I moved to New Mexico I had donkeys and goats and I got pregnant and because I wasn't on the road I didn't have all this pressure I ballooned up I got so heavy

and I got up to 284 pounds the day that I delivered my son. And then... It was happy weight, though. Yeah, I mean, it was miserable weight. But it was also like, my body did what it had to do. And then it took me three years to lose baby weight. And the thing that made me so mad is, like, in this day and age, like, no one gives any credit for anything.

I don't care how anybody lose weight. If somebody takes charge of their own life, not to anyone has to, because I've been every single size. But, like, I worked really, really hard because I was so depressed. I started working three months after I had my son. I was back on the road, and I was, like, trying to, I, like, already stopped breastfeeding. I was so stressed out. And then I just started working out to try and get my mind right because I was, like,

blue. I was really sad, really miserable. And then my song with Miranda drunk, like, really went crazy during my pregnancy. So, so many changes happened so quickly, so fast. And then, I don't know, I just like, you'd think anything that I know about or had known about postpartum was like, oh, like, you could like be kind of sad like for a couple weeks, a couple months after. And I'm like looking down and like, it's two years after and like I'm getting ready to celebrate my son's second birthday. And I'm not with his dad. And I'm like, I feel so lost.

I tried a lot of different therapies. I tried, like, all kinds of, like, different psychedelic stuff. I tried talk therapy. I tried everything. And ultimately, I had to go through certain experiences on my own, some of which I didn't want to go through, but... Like, life experiences. Like, you know, I'm already kind of, I don't want to say, like, I'm sick of talking

about, like, what happened in January and the Dolly incident. And I'm sure people are not going to like what I have to say about a lot of it, but, like, I can already look back and be like, you know what? I have this good thing that came from it. This thing changed in my life. This, I was presented with an opportunity to grow. And I think that every experience is an opportunity for change. And change is inevitable.

It's the blade that carves itself and or sharpens itself, whatever that quote is. And I really like that. But, like, I don't know. When that dolly incident happened, were you still going through post? Was that part of it? Honestly, I don't, I think I'd kind of come out of postpartum and then everything that had accumulated, everything that I had just like sucked on to my life, uh, in my like depression, um, all just kind of came to a head and I think it was probably just rock bottom, right?

I just, if it wasn't that, it was going to be something else. And I just took for the first time, like, you know, when I was pregnant, like I was like okay maybe I've got this time given to me this was this year was the first time I was like I'm stepping I'm stepping away from this everyone's telling me to kill myself everyone's telling me to surrender my child and it was just so so wrong and you know if a man did it it would have been a completely different story but also like I've spoken to everybody and I've spoken to everyone at the Opry and they said that I'm not banned and yeah it's The country is forgiving. They are really forgiving people. It is. It is. And the saddest part about it is like, and I don't even really want to use these words,

but like somebody is going to get arrested. Somebody is going to get something that happens. And, you know, some people might say it's good for you. But like, for me, I'm like, that's sad. The biggest thing I learned was like, okay, take nothing that you read online for like, full-blown truth. because everything, you never know from my experience, especially what was going on then. I was going through some, like, heavy, heavy, heavy shit,

not even postpartum, not even my breakup, not even just that. Can we touch on it? I mean, it was just, it was a dark situation that I can't talk about, and I don't really want to. Yeah, but like. Like a relationship. Yeah, it was like bad shit that was going on. And I, because of that, no one knew what was really going on.

and they just thought, like, God forbid, somebody looks and thinks, wow, like, what was going on with her that day? You know, like, I played two shows that day. I played two fucking shows. The first show was great. It was perfect, but I hadn't eaten. I hadn't done anything. I hadn't slept in days.

I was so, I had such bad anxiety and everything. And I just walked back on stage, and I'd taken one shot too many. We went through that alleyway and went to Robert's Western World and a bunch of people were celebrating. and I took, you know, one shot of tequila when I'd been drinking a martini. And, like, that, I was, like, the tiniest I'd ever been. And boom, I could come to, and, like, the curtains down.

And it sucks. It's awful. But at the same time, I went home and I was like, I'd never, I never want to cry like that in a car ride home. I never want to wake up feeling like that ever again. I never want to feel that shame. I never want to, like, you know, any, any time. Dolly Parton calls you as cool, but like, I didn't want it to be under those circumstances.

And, like, but she called me to make me feel better, you know? She's a sweet angel of a woman. She's literally, she's like proof of angels. She truly is. And I think what that taught, like, I learned so much from this experience. And, like, if I can come out of it, literally anyone can. And I've had so many experiences like that. I hope I have less of them in the,

future. I'm with you, girl. I'm going, I went there's some shit this last week. I'm like, Lord, what are you trying to teach me? I know. Come on. Like my book of lessons is like getting kind of full. Yeah. But I don't know. I do you believe in like, um, like many lives? Absolutely. I also believe in soul contracts and I believe that. Me too. Oh, tell me. What do you believe? Let me know. Okay. So I believe, um, I did, okay, this is kind of wacky and I don't know. I don't know people believe in this stuff. No, we do. I'm so into it. I'm very. I'm very. I'm very. spiritual. I'm very connected to spirit. I meditate. I've got guides. Oh, I love you. Sister. Yes. Where have you been? They're all over here laughing because I, this is me.

Okay, amazing. Okay, good. Then I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, you found your coven. Okay, great. I did this one reading, um, with a, with a woman and she was, it was called like a rose reading. I'd never done anything like that. And she went through some past lives. And because I'm clairvoyant and clersentient, I also don't talk about this. swap but I don't I don't care I have nothing high and you are too okay I believe that and I feel like that's why we're like I love it connected um I it was like over the phone because it was during COVID it was right before COVID when things were like starting to like get crazy and um she was explaining a couple of my past lies and I could I was like locked in with her and I could

see her um like I could see everything that she was seeing and I'm everything lined up and I asked her I said, have I ever had a child in a past life? And she said, no. And so she said, you're going to have to make a sole contract with someone to bring, like, for this lifetime. And, I mean, I've even had, like, psychics. One time I was pregnant before I had a miscarriage. And he was like, have you ever had a miscarriage? And I was like, no, not that I know of.

Like, boom, a week later. I had, like, I had a miscarriage. And then the next pregnancy was missed. And so I think that I had to. have a soul contract with either my baby. I don't know how all of it works, but I know that my baby chose me and I know that he's like destined to be here.

But to do that, like I'm so into healing and I'm all into like a lot of like spiritual stuff. So I felt like it's true. I saw something online that was like if you're ever feeling like called to a place, like you need to go. Because there's something that has to happen there. I've never been to Bali and I went, I went probably

like it was like in January and I had had like two back to back miscarriages in September

and like oh yeah end of August and into September and was still on the road like three days after

like bleeding on stage everything so sad and domy gloomy I can it's easier now that's your childhood trauma

is to push through any sort of pain and not sit in it yeah it's because I don't I can't. That's when I lose my mind.

I don't want to wallow. No, no. I'm like, okay, what job can I do? Okay, what can I do? Like, let's make another album. Let's do something. And then I lose my mind because I'm not actually taking the time.

My new thing, I got to feel it to heal it. And so that's what I did. That's why I took time this year. I know I'm bouncing all over the place. No, no, I love it. And I'll draw you in. Okay, cool. Yeah.

I went, I felt this like pull to Bali and I looked up this healing ceremony in the middle of the jungle. And I dragged my best friend with me and she was like, okay, even though she's like into like metaphysical, spiritual stuff, she was like, this is like a little much. And I'm like meeting with this healer

and she says to me, she was, I was like, you know, I had a miscarriage and like I really, all I want to be is a mother. And she said, well, it's, the soul is a boy and he'll come back to you. And I said, what do I have to do? She said, you have to make a sacrifice. And I was like, like, quitting smoking?

And she was like, just looked at me and got up and walked away. And then did this, like, crazy thing where they, like, whip you with flowers. It was beautiful and, like, poured all this, like, gorgeous water all over you. And then you, like, scream. And then they, like, paint, like, flowers all over you. And they pray for you. And it was beautiful. It was so incredible.

And that year was when I got pregnant. And I had a boy. And it was just beautiful. I believed it. There's something so, I think, important about just like what, like, your convictions are and what you believe in. And it's so simple as, like, the thoughts you tell yourself or the things that you say out loud, all of it is energy. Oh, words are spells. Yes.

Yes, I tell everybody that. It's everything that you, like today I had a doctor's appointment and, like, I was really scared about it. And I didn't even. Me too. I had one today, too. What was yours about? Can we ask? I'll tell you after.

Okay, okay. But I didn't want, I didn't want to, like, put negative things. Like, I was, I was so freaked out about it that, like, I refused to say, like, it's not going to be good. I just, like, I'm nervous. Yes. And I felt like that was better. I had one today, too, where I was finding out if I really had an aneurysm on my carotid artery. Oh, my gosh.

I had just found out last week that I had one. Today I got the news that I didn't have one, and I know exactly what you're saying, because I never, when I prayed. I wasn't like, you know, God, please don't let me have this. I just said, whatever your will is. Yeah. And let me know what the lesson is here. Yeah. And I never, you know, and I get that. I understand when you're so scared, your first thing is, is you want to be like, no, please don't let the, you know. Yeah. But I really was just like surrendered. And it was my moment to actually learn how to have faith. Yes. And it worked. And I'm telling you right now, if you don't speak those things into your life, not saying that it doesn't happen for everybody. But if you don't speak those

things into your life, you can definitely, I feel, change the energy or the trajectory of what's about to happen. Yes. And you can create that. Absolutely. That's like the whole thing about manifestation and which is something I learned about this year and I even just speaking it. Yes. Like I didn't realize what I was doing. Like when I took time off when I was thinking like oh fuck like I could I could go back to the world and I could have no fucking career. I could have no musical career I could never play a show again I could get dropped from my label my management could drop me

and I started thinking all right bitch what do you want to fucking do like what would be cool what would excite you because I want to be I'm a very passionate person I'm a very hard worker and I thought wouldn't it be cool to play like a bad guy in a movie because you know my dad's an actor and I don't I don't really feel like

I get a lot of the nepotism stuff and I feel it makes me sad for the people who do because that's one thing I've loved about you is that when I was researching your life story you're a lot like me I didn't come from you know very much but I always wanted to pave my own way and you were just like I want to make my own way yeah I respect I didn't really grow up with my dad I grew up with my mom and let's touch on that let's go back let's go back and talk about that real quick so you are a daughter of Rob Schneider yep daddy Schneider and every time I say that she blushes and a beautiful miss london king yes you know and who was like a supermodel

correct and she's the coolest you you are her twin i mean you guys are beautiful you are her twin i can see a little bit of your dad in you but you are her just you know reincarnated um take me on this journey with your childhood because i don't think a lot of people don't know that your dad was not in your life growing up he he really wasn't and it's It's interesting because, like, yeah, I was born in California, but, like, my parents, they weren't married for very long. They didn't really know each other. And my mom had a son before me. My mom was a really, really young mom.

My family comes from Southern Ohio, like, very close to West Virginia. And it's a super small town. I think it's like 1,800 people, which is, like, big for a small town. There's more than one stoplight. Yeah. And it's a place that is, and always has been. been my constant because my family moved around a lot. And my parents, yeah, they split and I have, I would spend time with my dad, but my mom raised me, like always. My mom, single mom, until she met my

stepdad who also, he's my dad. Like, he totally raised me. Um, and-out to the step-parents. Yes. I'm a step-parent. Yes, you are. And they're so important. And I don't, I definitely wouldn't be a musician if it weren't for my stepdad and he taught me everything I know about music I mean I'm wearing he's got his own label good times rock and roll club I'm wearing his shirt he's a screen printer yeah definitely yeah um they'll send you a whole care package and records and stuff I would love that um and he's just like the most badass person ever and my mom my mom I saw her reinvent herself like almost every 10 years because she was a fit model she was a model she did some acting And then she became like a fitness instructor and she was like helping.

She was like really, really, really into health. And then when we moved to New York when I was about 12 years old, we left Ohio because my stepdad's from New York. And my mom became a doula. And she like, like my mom's pretty crunchy, but she's the coolest. Like she encapsulated my placenta. And I'm, I'm. Okay, what is encapsulating placenta just for people at home who don't know what that is?

Okay. So the placenta is basically, it's like a filter, but it's also what gives all the nutrients and all the life from the uterus to the baby. And it's what's connected to the umbilical cord from the baby to the mama. And so it's sometimes they call it like the afterbirth and it comes out after you have, after you give birth. You know what doesn't belong in your epic summer plans getting burned by your old wireless bill. While you're planning beach trips, barbecues, and three day weekends, your wireless bill should be. be the last thing holding you back. That's why I made the switch to Mint Mobile. With Mint, you can get the coverage and speed you're used to, but for way less money. And for a limited time. Mint Mobile is offering three months of unlimited premium wireless service for 15 bucks a month. So while your friends are sweating over data overages and surprise charges, you'll be chilling, literally and financially. Say bye-bye to your overpriced wireless plans jaw-dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you. All plans come with

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skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank. Get this new customer offer in your three-month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash bunny. That's mintmobile.com slash B-U-N-N-I-E. Up-front payment of $45 required, equivalent to $15 a month, limited time new customer offer for first three months only speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan taxes and fees extra cement mobile for details um and we are the only i don't i don't want fact checkers to come after me but i'm gonna try my best we're the only mammals that don't like instinctively or naturally eat our placenta or after birth because it's it's like so full of nutrients so i don't know if anyone's ever seen like a dog or a cat give birth but like they they eat

eat it. They eat the membranes off the their puppies and stuff. Yes, because it helps them. And so some people say that, well, I mean, there's a lot of factual evidence behind it, but I don't, I don't want like super Western medicine people to come after me about that. Because I believe it. Everybody gives grace here. Yeah. Okay, great. And so my mom cooks the placenta and then encapsulates it. And then the woman or the mother slowly eats it over time. Just like a vitamin. What does it taste like? Anything?

Well, Dan, my boyfriend, he ate a piece of my placenta. It was cooked, it was cooked. He was like, this is the closest I could be to a cannibal. You know, it's like guys with neck tattoos who are funny. I don't know. What are you going to do?

They're wild. You're like, let's make another baby. Yeah, exactly. And, but it made me feel like when I took it, it made me me feel like kind of anxious and um i don't know i i always feel like i'm like letting my mom down because she's this like angel angelic like she i was a a v-back so she had a c-section with my brother and then she had a natural birth with me and she said it was an orgasmic birth there's a there's a

i love mom i know oh my god i know i love mom she's right up my alley yeah she's wonderful you guys would love each other and she literally made me and dan watch this documentary called orgasmic birth um and i was like okay so tell me about this orgasmic births i've never heard of this okay okay great um neither had i no actually i didn't heard of it my whole life because my mom was like i had an orgasmic birth with you i was like mom stop telling people that words every kid wants to but it was like it's basically the whole like idea of it from what I took from the documentary I was like that I'm not having that that's not me I was like cut this puppy out you kind of like get yourself into this state and I was just watching that show too hot to handle where they had energy

orgasms yeah okay so I don't think it's that far off from that so you get yourself into this state of like relaxation and you're connected with your partner and then I guess you have this like flush that's like orgasm an orgasmic release of it's I don't think it's like a sexual pleasure but it watching that thing like you know you can learn a lot from reality TV um I can understand now how it could be this like right orgasmic feeling of like oh my gosh combined with like I did it and wow my baby's here and just pride and joy yeah yeah yeah like it makes me think like do I want to try for like a V-back if I have another kid like yeah I don't know it's there's a lot of things most likely if I were I would be like cut this fucker out that's how I was in my I still think

it's a beautiful thing to think about so I mean if you know if I'm scared to death of natural birth that's why Jay and I are doing IVF and we're going to get a surrogate but because I also have issues too and I just at this age I don't have time for miscarriages and you know stuff like that so but yeah Women who give birth, man, you guys are fucking savages, dude. Like, that is the most barbarically beautiful thing that a woman can do. And, I mean, you guys are literally just pushing a soul out of your body. Yeah, it's pretty wild. I mean, I had a C-section.

I freaked out on the table. I was screaming, I can't feel my legs. And I was screaming for that. I was like, I literally, like, it's so me. They didn't even let my mom come up. But they, because it was during freaking COVID. And so I was like, give me, literally, give me drugs. Where is Dan?

Dreaming for him to come in there. Poor Dan's in a corner somewhere. I know. He's like, he's like, what's going on, babe? But it was, it was cool. I just, I feel like I won't do anything that my parents ever expect of me. And I felt kind of sad. And I don't know, I'm just like a different person. And I definitely have like a very different destiny.

but I also thought like because my pregnancy was so hard and intense like and before Dan and I got back together I wanted another child and I asked my sister I was like because she's had three kids she she got her tubes tied but she can still towed it yeah and I was like I love that I was like hey like would you carry baby for me like it wasn't even two seconds later she's like if you pay for a tummy tuck it's like that's good like that's cool I love that yeah I was like looking up like, you know, cryobanks and everything. And I think that surrogacy is so beautiful. And like, what a gift.

I think any, I hate it when I see that people like get anything negative about how they choose to be healthy, how they choose to welcome children into this world. It should only be, like I've chills me, right, it should only ever be celebrated. Because again, to bring it back, like, you have no fucking idea what someone. had to go through to even get to that point to make that decision. I just think we live in a world where it's like a fish tank and some days you're the fish that gets picked on and it's like they will zero in like when you went through the Dolly situation.

I remember it broke my heart and I reached out to you because I was like she doesn't fucking deserve this. I've met you. I've felt your energy. I'm like she is the sweetest fucking soul. And that's why I reached out to you because I wanted you to know like you're not alone. But this online shit, man, it's bad. Like it is mob mentality

And it's millions of people Mob mentality that just have a fucking It's getting worse too It is because there's no recourse No So if you say something Nothing happens You know like

I thought like after all the stuff From like early 2000s with like the Perez Hilton's And all of that just like horrible horrific bullying Like and then I thought maybe like Okay No more bullying is like a thing like no No. And the saddest part about it, which is the only way that I can like still have a fucking Instagram. It's like, okay, that person who's saying that is hurting. Yeah. Well, you have to post and ghost. That's what I do now. I mean, yes. I've had to learn that in the last six months. Well, you can't look at it. Right. Nope. I just. And I'll, I'll look at the first five. And then I leave it alone for a few days when I'm feeling a little bit stronger. And then I'll go back in. And if there's some. By that time I'm over that post and it doesn't mean anything. So I'll just. I'll just. delete or block you know if I need to but yeah I just post and ghost and it was it's been the

blessing for my mental health dude you have to because yeah I mean like most days I'm like I don't want to do Instagram yeah and I used to love it I used to love it because I actually interact with my fans yeah and then same some some people would comment like hey you're getting like 150 really kind things and you're only interacting with the person who said something mean I get that too And it's weird because, like, you know what? That's fucking true. That's so true. Why?

And then people, they want that. They want to fight. It's so weird. You can't win. You cannot win. It doesn't matter. And they're always wittier for some reason. They will come back and say some of the craziest shit.

And you're just like, son of a bitch, you know? It's really, really wild. I just go straight for like the your mom jokes. Yeah. It's so. Me too. It's so stupid. Like, they're like, you're such a whore.

And I'll be like, that's not what your dad said about your mom. Or, you know, like, I'll say. Yeah, that was the last time. I said like, that's not what your mom said last night. Okay, so stupid. It's like, because it's so stupid. Yeah, no, seriously. So let's circle back to your childhood.

So you grew up in Ohio. And I think a lot of people were like when you did, and we'll get into your album and stuff like your albums and stuff like that. But when you did cross over into country, did you get any kind of pushback because people were like, oh, you're not country. But really, you are. You grew up in a rural part of Ohio. Yeah.

I didn't actually get any pushback. I think because I connected with country fans and the biggest the biggest pushback was that okay, when I would get really drunk like if anyone were to ever meet my brother and see us together like we say the billy comes out like my hillbilly comes out and so when I'm drunk like I like become this like reetting fucking you know Hillbilly

Simody Sam. Yes. Yeah. And, but no one ever takes the time to find out where someone's from. No one ever takes the time to find out their back story. It's like, all they see is like, she was born in L.A. Her dad's Rob Schneider. She's like, like, God forbid you find out that like, I'm also Filipino and my family is

Hillbilly as fuck in a nice way, you know? Who's Filipino? My dad's Filipino. Wow, I never know. So I had two very like different. I spent a lot of time with my dad's mom, my grandmother. Yeah. She's from Manila, and I had a really large, like, Filipino family in Northern California.

Wow. And so my dad would always be working, but my grandmother, she would fly at, like, 60-something years old. She would fly from San Francisco to Columbus, Ohio, pick me up at, like, four or five years old, fly me back to San Francisco to spend a weekend with me, fly me back to Columbus, and then she would fly back to San Francisco. And, like, that's grandmother love right there. That is. And she taught me a lot about family values. I love Filipino culture.

I love Filipino food. Me too. Yeah, it's so good. So good. And so I had that. And then I had this very, like, super American Midwest, like, country family life in Ohio. But I was, like, a rebel. Like, I got kicked out of school in second grade.

I was always in trouble. I was, like, friends with all the bad kids. Where do you think that rebellious street came from? Do you think it was from your father's absence? No, you know, it could have had a lot of, a lot of that. I think now that I'm a mom, like, if I, if I hear of something with a child that is acting out, my first thought is what needs are not being met of the child, not, oh, that's a problem kid. Oh, that kid is a fuck up.

And I was labeled as a really bad kid, but honestly, like, I didn't have like a massive amount of structure. my mom was a hustler my mom was working she was she always had three jobs she was always traveling my mama would go back and forth to Hong Kong so he spent a lot of time with my grandparents in southern Ohio and

that meant mama and papa mom on papa yeah I did my research yes and and so I don't know and then when I would if I would ever spend a summer with my dad it would be on a movie set and I

I would just get lost in the shuffle. Did you ever feel like you guys could connect or it was just more of like... Not until I was much, much older. I feel like, and this is not an excuse for dads at all, but I feel like dads have a hard time relating to younger kids. I think... Not all of them. It's hard.

I think dads who make the choice to connect with their kids do. And my dad. in my relationship is like a real big evan flow like right now we're not flowing i disagree with a lot of the things that he says and um it he is just i don't know you want you can want someone to change so much and ultimately like all you can't you can't control anyone else's actions you can't control people's feelings all you can control is how you react and what you do with your feelings absolutely and sometimes i fucking boil up and i boil over and i fucking bust my lid.

I'm trying so hard to not be that way because I feel like that's how I'm wired the same way and my dad and I actually have the same had he just passed away in May. It's okay. He and I had the same type of relationship where I feel like I was always

the one to give it to my dad you know because nobody else did but I was always the one that was there to be like no you're wrong no you need to change this no and even in the end it just it never got through And you try every different angle. I would try letters.

I would try soft. I would try yelling. It's just like, well, see, look, you're yelling, you're yelling, or like, you can't even stick up for your, it's like, what? Like, it's psychotic. And I mean... It's that generation of men for some reason. They're so fucking toxic and they're cool being toxic.

Yeah. It's everybody else's fault, but theirs. Everyone else is the problem because they're like, perfect and they're right. And they're not... And they're like so smooth in their delivery too. You're just like, show some fucking emotion. That is sick. You are wrong for that.

It's so fucking weird. And like, ultimately, it made me a very strong person, but I'm also an extremely anxious person too. And like- You grew up with OCD, correct? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. When did that start? Like, when did you start realizing like, hey, I have an issue here with this?

Because I'm OCD myself. Okay. Well, I have, my OCD comes out in, like, very mild Tourette's. and I twitch constantly and oh my gosh I'm like so embarrassed about it it's beautiful it makes me mad because people are like she's tweaking online

it's like motherfucker like I used to be fucking tweaking and nobody said shit then now I'm fucking sober and now my Tourette's are fucking coming out because I'm not even taking like medications for it because I'm just trying to like come into my womanhood and like be myself and it's like my hands twitch and it's so that my facial tics don't go crazy but my OCD I was diagnosed when I was like in sixth grade because I had this whole like number thing and this touching thing I had to touch everything with two fingers like really intense stuff and I was like a compulsive eater so and that was like something that my the people a lot of people my family had like big issues with and it's like well it's got to be hard you know because your mom was a supermodel I'm sure your mom probably dealt with her own issues with eating too because

being in that industry, there's no way that you can't. Cutthroat. So cutthroat. And she had to stay a size six consistently. Or she would not get it, not get work. Yeah. But my mom, see, my mom spun it in a way where she took her struggles and all the pressures that she felt her whole life.

And she spun it into always telling me to love myself. And, like, she had a chubby daughter because I felt like, like, both of my parents had their, like, obsessions with eating. I'm probably going to get so much trouble for talking about this. But, like, I don't care. My mom will be proud. I was going to say, I think that people need to hear this because not enough people do talk about it. You know, my husband struggles with the same thing, and he's very open about it.

And I think that there's a large number of kids that need to hear this, too. It's hard. It's so hard. And, like, you think about, you know, all the things that someone could get addicted to. And ultimately, like, one, I've been addicted to all of them. too it's it's really like it started with food for me and compulsive eating because it was like where I found comfort and both of my grandmothers they were you know like they were huggable they were heavier women and but they had so much trauma that they grew up with and like my grandmother saw her freaking brother get beheaded in the war in the Philippines oh my goodness so she would eat

and she would feed me you know she would feed me like lots of food and And then my grandmother, like, she... And it's also a love language, too. 100%. My grandmother in Ohio, my mom all like, she could cook, like, nobody's business. And she would just like, baby, you want more, you want, let me feed you. And it was just so good. And I would put sweet cream corn on top of my mashed potatoes.

And that's what I would eat. That's literally still, to this day, my comfort food. Sounds so good. It's so delicious. Sounds so good. But, like, maybe not good for you, but I guess subjective, right? And so I was like a really, really, really. heavy child my dad said me to fat camp i mean yeah it was rough and then i got in trouble one year

because i i i sprained my ankle and i didn't lose any weight so it's like very toxic and very silly and like it's got to be how old were you when you got sent to the fat camp um is it okay to call it a fat camp i mean listen hey i i called it that and that's what i went to i just want to make sure i don't insult anybody because i feel so bad you know weight camp it's awful but like it's the F word, the F word is like, is so triggering for me. I'm, and for me too, because of my husband and I, it's so, and I've seen the effects of that word on people and it's so hurtful. And so I never, you know, I just want to make sure it's so awful. But like, that's where he sent me to. Yeah. I remember him like, I was, I went

two summers in a row. I was 11 and 12. And it's like, um, what do they do in these camps? They literally like, you get like a slice of turkey and like steam vegetables for like every meal. and they make you work out all day long. That's not healthy, though. No, and you need way more calories than that to make your metabolism. Yeah, and also you need fucking therapy. Like, you need to talk about it. There it is.

And you need to figure out, like, what is causing you to eat. There's no therapy in those? I never, I never had therapy. Like, they did things that were like, adults went there too, and, like, I think some people saw results. Because they were starting themselves. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't, it wasn't, and there was a lot of other stars. kids who went there so that was sad and I mean it was just like

traumatizing that has to that probably had to start your your anger towards your father too oh yeah 100% but like it got to a point where like I never I didn't want to spend a summer with him and like when I got I got kicked out of almost every school I went to I got kicked out of when the first school that I went to in New York City was a school called York prep and I don't know I was I was probably I was I was I was I would I refuse to wear the uniform. I would like yell back at teachers and and I just I always had problems with authority. Me too. I got kicked out at every school I went to too. See? I get it. But it doesn't, we're not dumb. We don't have a lack of intelligence. We probably just learn a different way than any kind

of box structure that most people can, you know, function in a one size fits all. I think us as children types of the types of women that we are, we also learned at a very young age that we, we were surrounded by people we did not want to be like. Yeah. I know that my family, I was just, I looked around at everybody and I'm like, you toxic motherfuckers. Not saying I wasn't,

but I was just like, man, I am here to break a cycle. Yes. And I think that's, even though we didn't know that's what we were doing at such a young age, we're like rebels without a cause,

but really we did have a cause. We were sent here to shake shit up and break some chains. Yeah. Even if it hurts, because unfortunately, we're also strong enough to be able to handle and carry that burden of hurt. because in some like dark twisted knife way like it will continue to push us and I mean

I believe it that God never gives us anything that we can't handle and sometimes it feels like are you sure yeah last week that's how I felt I was like you really be good like what's happening yeah but I don't know I think that now that I'm like less destructive um I can see I can see the blessings and the lessons in things much sooner and I mean like literally as these words are like leaving my mouth I'm like listen to that bitch like listen yes no and when you're in it it is so hard and I trust me I get it I like I said I just went through it but it is like amazing what the mind can do because what the mind believes the body will follow and I always tell people that and words are spells and like it doesn't matter really what you say if you say you know like I feel like I'm gonna die like that and I have a problem saying stuff like that like when I don't feel good I'll be like I feel like I'm gonna die

and then I have to correct myself and be like no no no I don't mean that you know like yeah you have to really be careful with what you say and what you put in the world definitely um circling back so you had said that you did not you got to a point where you stopped wanting to go and spend summers with your dad yeah I mean like he was filming this one like prison movie in like Stockton California

in a prison and I was going to say there's not very many cool hang spots in Stockton shout out the Diaz brothers I had already started getting tattooed and it was like 108 degrees like every single day so I was having to wear sweaters because my dad

was like very anti-tattoos or like any form of self-expression that differed from what he wanted for me not that he ever even thought about me but you're killing my fantasy of rob here I'm so sorry it's done it's over with I'm so sorry I'm T-Mel all day Oh, I'm so sorry.

I'm T-M-L all day. But, yeah, I just, like, I would get in so much trouble. And now, like, a massive part, like, of, like, I guess, little tease that have turned into massive paranoia. Paranorma. Wait, paranoia. Yes. What's paranormal?

I don't know. I was going to say, is that, like, ghosts or something? I don't know, but, like, it would be a gull, like, dog name. I'll, like, spend one day in this, like, witchy house. It's cool. And, I don't remember what I was talking about. Oh, dad, you had to wear sweaters, covering the tattoos. And so, like, I didn't want to be, oh, okay, okay, my little teeth.

So I would get in so much trouble if I ever, oh my gosh, if I ever messed up a shot or if I ever was like, like, an arm in the camera or, like, if I ever was talking, like, I would get in fucking trouble. And, like, I spent, you know, I'm really putting shit out there right now but like my dad forgot about every single birthday like I spent my 18th birthday in a summer school

um like class with like algebra one because if I didn't take it I wouldn't graduate and they brought me cupcakes and I came home my dad forgot my birthday um it's okay I read I read an entire yeah it's totally hurtful but like you know what

that shapes and molds you I put every I put every ounce of my being into my son's birthday Like every birthday Even for my friends Like every birthday Because I know how it feels To be forgotten on your birthday

And that's so sad It's like come on it's my one fucking day It's my one day Give me that Yeah give me that And And so like I stopped wanting to go And then I got kicked out of school

In New York in 6th or 7th grade And my mom was like I am done with her I was being bad I got my tongue pierced. My mom walked in on me and a boy. And she was like, she's... Mom's losing her shit.

Yes. And my mom is tough. My mom, like, she doesn't give up on me ever. But my mom was like, she's fucking your problem. And he was like, what do you want me to do with her? And he was going to Amsterdam. So I was 14. Oh, no.

And he took me to Amsterdam. And he... Oh, no. I think we all can tell when this is he's going. My dad hired this, um, a 21-year-old, sweet, sweet. sweet. She was an Indian young woman. She was a virgin. And her name was almond. And she was like, she was lovely. And every single day, I'd say, let's go to the flower markets. And I would be like, oh, yeah, wow, look at those tulips. And then I would dip back behind. I'd like watch her freak out

looking for me. And I'd go straight to the red light district. I still, to this day, I roll the best joints ever. But like, I wanted culture. I wanted to see things. And I didn't want every single. single day, I would ditch the nanny. And she didn't want to lose her job, so she never told my dad. Aww. So I basically just spent however many months we were there in Amsterdam. I had, I mean, I would go to, like, my home school, like, teacher. I was like, I don't even, I was learning some Dutch and French or something, but, like, I never paid attention. I can always distract somebody. Like, I had this one tutor. I'd be like, oh, you're into Dungeons and Dragons? That's cool. Like, I don't really want to learn about, like, science, man. And, and then, you know, like,

one time we went to any time my dad would like have me on a trip he would like forget that he had me and so he I know I know because he's not a great planner and is that that's the least of his worries yeah and so he took he took me to Russia and with him oh no I was probably 18 actually but the thing is like I refuse to like waste a trip yeah so I love that even at such a young age you were like, motherfucker, I'm here to live. Yeah. Yeah. We were in Russia and he was like in a basement like getting ready to do some TV show.

He had two security guards and I was like, hey, hey, we're in Moscow like, I'm not sitting in this basement TV studio. I was like, I'm going to go out. And he would always just be like reading something like, whatever, take one of the security guards with you. I was like, great. So this like beautiful Russian like tuxedo fucking wearing like young, handsome security guard. I was like, what are you doing Moscow?

And he's like, do you like to ride rides? And I was like, I fucking love rides. Takes me to an amusement park, rides all the fucking rides with me, is in like photo booth pictures with me, takes me to get like the big Russian hat. And then, like, I had started to lose some of my, like, teenage weight. And he was staying with, like, this very, my dad was, like, there for this, like, really rich lady.

And she let me buy this, like, Le Perla gown. like heels because they had some fashion show and I was like I'm such a tomboy I don't know how to walk in heels and there was like 25 steps down from this party and the guy was like Nikolai he picked me up walks me down the steps opens the limo with me in his arms and like sets me down and I was like yeah thank you thank you did you and nikolai ever hook up no no no no no but you know I think of him fondly It's just like That was like my bodyguard moment

What's baby daddy's name? Dan you're not listening Dan yeah Dan you're not listening right now We're never going to Russia together Yeah Yeah Fucking Dan

Dan's like we're never going to Russia babe Damn it I'm talking about that Nikolai story That or he's going to be like Next time we have sex call me Nikolai Okay I love that I love that Babe just pick me up

I love that So circling back though You did say that you're step fond of influenced your trajectory into music take me on that journey so my stepdad his name is Justin and he he met my mom who's the lead singer in this rock and roll band in Columbus called Bob City amazing rock and roll and my mom started dating him and her best friend was dating somebody else in the band and so we love band boys around here yes yes and I just had like rock and roll people all around me

and he still to this day has the best record collection I've ever seen and like he he came into our lives when I was like I don't know maybe six six or seven and I remember being like so young and like he didn't care sticky fingered kids and all just like he would let me go through all the records and he'd be like you like that listen to this like some of my earliest memories of like singing along to music is like my first like time singing like into a hairbrush in the mirror is like

captain and tonyl love will keep us together it's because he had all these records and he would just he would say like he still makes like new music friday playlists that he like sends out to all of his friends because he just has the coolest taste in music and um he just shaped me and so when we moved to new york um my mom always had me like you always have to have some kind of extracurricular because I think she knew like academics were not going to be my you know the foot that I lead with so I love that the foot that I lead with yeah so I would like I was taking violin at four years old or I you know anytime I wanted to quit something she'd like you can quit it but you have to replace it something I tried ice skating like ice sports not my thing

summer like water stuff that's me but frozen stuff no and or like piano vocal lessons and when we moved to New York, his best friend and one of his bandmates, Joquim, super talented guitar player, he taught me how to play guitar, and it was just kind of on from there. And the way he taught me, it was just like, he's like, I can't teach you how to read music, but I can teach you how to play

all your favorite songs, and I can help you, like, learn how to sing along to it. And that's how, because I think also, because I studied Suzuki, which is an ear training method on violin, I think I'm more attuned to stringed instruments.

So I can kind of pick up like almost, you know, like a guitar, a bass, a violin, a mandolin, bando, anything, and kind of finally around. That's a talent, too, though. That's a talent. Not everybody can do that. Jack of all traits, master of none. But that's fine. Yeah.

It's okay. I feel like she's like my soul sister. Like everything, it's so crazy. It's a talent, though, because I actually was taught how to read music. So I can read music, but I can't, if I hear something, I can't play. it. So I've always been envious of people who can do that. I think that's such a beautiful thing. Well, maybe we have to start a band. I'll do it. I'll do it. And then we'll go on tour with Daddy Roll. Yes, yes. I mean, listen, I had fun on that tour. I loved it. We had a blast, dude. And you know what?

Oh, my gosh. When I saw you guys at Stagecoach, like, he came, like, during the show, came over and, like, gave me a big hug. Like, but that's, that's, like, that's who Jelly Roll is. We love El, You're just a little light You know You remind me of like Fairy energy And don't take that the wrong way No I don't

One of my past lives She was like you were Fay And like the beginning times of earth I love that No you do You just have this twinkle about you And it doesn't matter what you're going through It's like you are always just

Trying to make everybody happy around you And I just love that about you I feel like I was like I saw a lot of things Back in Hollywood Where like You didn't get trouble for how you treated people and I'll never forget like seeing how like after someone

got yelled at for instance how that made someone feel and I'm not saying I'm perfect I'm sure there's a lot of people who have worked for me or be like she's a fucking bitch and I am not a perfect person I have grown a lot and I've eaten shelves of humble pie but I really do believe especially just for like where I'm at now, everything that has brought me to here, it's like all I can control is like my reaction, and I've been a very reactive person my whole life. But if I continue to put out what I hope to receive, then I can feel the path of my life and the trajectory of my joy going to where I hope it lands. And that's just like waking up, making choices.

I look at my son, lucky, I say, we're choosing kindness today. Hey, buddy. I love his name. Thank you. So cute. We got lucky with him, so. I love that. And I think as unforgiving as the world feels, they love to see growth. And I think them just hearing this podcast is going to change their entire perception of you. Well, thank you for giving me the opportunity and, like, I'm obsessed with you. Oh, girl, you come here anytime, baby. You can sit on my couch every year. I do not care. I always have space for you. We have to see the evolution of growth. We really do. So see next year. Yeah, seriously. So, so, Take me on this journey of your first album

that you dropped in 2015. What were the steps that led up to that? Because not everybody can just get an album and a record deal and all that stuff. No, it's pretty crazy. I mean, I've been playing shows since I was like 15 years old and my mom was always super, super supportive.

And like, she would help me sneak into bars. She knew that I had a fake ID. And, like, she, I had a talent for it. And, like, I had, I was, I started writing songs. 14 years old and and then once I started playing the banjo it was like it was different like I kind of stood out and so I was playing country songs in New York and I was getting like residencies at like 18 19 years old and then this a manager found out about me and I had already left New York was living in L.A. losing my mind going kind of crazy like LA is not for me.

I always find that fascinating because it's like most people who grew up in New York can't handle L.A. And most people who grew up in L.A. can't handle New York. I grew up in Vegas and L.A. So when I go to New York, I'm like overstimulated. Yeah. No, it can be a lot. Like I don't, I, I romanticize about, like, New York. And I really love going back to visit now because my mom and dad, my stepdad still live there.

And my son loves going to New York. So it's always like a really fun time now. I just don't, I got very accustomed to having, like, acreage, even if it's five. You know, like, I have to have a four-wheeler. Right now, I'm like, I cruise around the neighborhood. I don't have acreage, but we're buying another house. And I love four-wheelers and golf carts. And, like, I have a tractor in my East Nashville, like, yard.

Come out this way. You know what? We're looking, and it's, and it's, like, 20 minutes away from here. Yay. So it's really, really beautiful. I just, Mama needs a pool. Yeah. So I got to swim.

Yes, ma'am. And so I, what, we were talking about that you get in your, you know, you drop in your first album, music journey? I moved to L.A. and I just like was always playing shows. I didn't, I wasn't signed, nothing. And then this manager, I started working with him. Did your dad ever try to help you, not to cut you off? No, no, no, no, no. You didn't want his help.

There's been, no. No. And honestly, I, I, I, I didn't talk to my. my dad. I go for like four or five years without talking to my dad. So I got signed, I released my album, everything. Honestly, when I put out my record and people finally started asking about my dad, my dad called me and was like, don't fucking talk about me in the press. Like, all right. Okay, great. But also it's like, get fucked. I don't care. Like, hey, listen, people have asked me about your fucking ass for years. And I'm, like, you're, you're talking out

your ass and you're you're talking shit about about drag and fucking you know anti-gay rights and it's like get fucked oh no I never heard that I didn't know he's just talking about his ass and I want to use this opportunity to say I disagree I do not agree with what he says

I believe in all forms of love and I just believe in anyone finding their happiness and their joy in whatever way whatever capacity that is there are no politics when it comes to love that's it and so yeah I was He never helped me.

I never wanted his help. He also didn't have a very good reputation. So I didn't want, that was really it. It wasn't even like a lot of like, I've got to pay my own way. I was like, I don't want to be associated with him. And I'm going to get in trouble saying that, but I don't care. Good reputation as in like working with him. He just not nice.

Right. He's not nice. And so, and I wanted to be nice. My whole thing is like I always want people to want to work with me again. And not everyone can say that. because I'm not perfect. Yeah. And like, I've fucked up a lot.

Like, we all learn and we all grow. Yeah, but my label hasn't dropped me. And I, okay, so I went in. It was Christmas of probably 2014. I was maybe 22 years old. And I go into an empty office, and it was before Sony bought EMI. And this guy named Jake Gottman, I just went into with my banjo, and I played a song called Good to Be a Man.

and he signed me right on the spot so I got a publishing deal he sent that song to Peter Edge who's the chairman of RCA and I'd been kind of talking to some labels and everyone was sort of like dicking me around and RCA was like the first I mean mind you they had Elvis

and they had so many bands that like I really loved and they were like always like full steady like always consistent never made me feel like they were dicking me around or anything or like weirdly courting me they were just cool and great and I felt like they truly believed in me which is rare for record labels yes which is very rare and like even though I found out that like men were getting 10 million dollar deals I I didn't get a lot of money for mine but I felt like

they believed in me and my first album had great success I mean it was a great album thank you exes and knows was awesome and ain't nobody's baby yeah well that was my shit girl that and mean was Oh, thank you. Meena's a great song, dude. Thank you so much. I love that. Well, I, I'm trying to get back to that whole aspect of like just writing, I don't know, it's hard.

I think it was Bob Dylan. I don't know who said it, but you have your whole life to write your first album and then a year to write your next one. And it's just strange. And I got like a lot of nominations on that first album. I topped a lot of charts and and then I kept going and like it's it makes me uncomfortable to say but I'm also very proud to like I've broken a lot of records and as like you know I think back to like 11 year old chubby meat like Ellie like at Fat Camp like and people always saying like you're you know you're not going to ever do anything it's like um you did it on your own too yes I did suck it while it's soft yes and I'm very proud and like I want my son to know that and I want my son to know that. And, like, sometimes I think about, like, at what age do I, like, tell my son, like, son, like, don't Google me.

Because stuff will come up, but I mean, you know. Once you're going to find out, a mom that speaks her mind and doesn't take shit, I don't know. That's respectable to me. I don't have a problem with a woman who stands her ground. Granted, there's a couple situations that, you know, you've owned up to. But just because your mistakes happen online and in front of people doesn't mean that other people aren't making similar mistakes behind closed doors. They just aren't on a fucking grand TikTok scale.

Exactly, exactly. But America loves a comeback story. And I will say if I didn't come back out the gate swinging and like with my shit together and putting on like great shows, I put a lot of effort, energy and money into like this, I have an opportunity. I have an opportunity to show that I've grown, that I am better than ever, that like that is not, that might be one facet. like my mess ups are they are part of me and and they are part of ultimately I feel like I

learn more I always say like expensive lessons are like the best yeah yeah because like oh I can't afford to make that one again yeah and and so like they're a part of me you know yeah but like I can kind of look back and laugh and just be like wow that was like that was so crazy and it wasn't even that long ago that I was like I don't want to wake up I don't want to fucking be here like I don't I should maybe the world is better, maybe it is better off about me. And like, to think like, now I'm like, wow, that was pretty crazy. I was like, ooh, probably should have eaten that day,

you know? And I feel, I feel like it's very much behind me, and I feel so distance from it, and I feel like I'm happier. Because you're not that same person. I'm not. And if Dolly can forgive you, the world can forgive you. Totally. But I also think that, like, there's such a massive part of that, that, like, help

me get to this, like, point where I'm the happiest I've ever been I'm not putting as much pressure on I was like I had so much pressure that I was putting on myself to like lose all my baby weight and like I was like just I was going crazy I was losing my mind

and now I'm like you know what I think I'm okay I don't need to meet anybody's standards but mine I'm healthier than I've ever been you look beautiful thank you my brain is good I'm like I'm taking like healthy medication there's nothing wrong with antidepressants

In fact, they're great for you. Did you, so you are on medication? Did you, were you taking it for your postpartum, or did postpartum pause you to get on them? I was refusing to take any antidepressants because I felt like, there's all these weird things. I don't know if it's OCD or just like obsessive thinking, but like I really like, I didn't want to get on it. I don't know if maybe part of it was like, I don't want to gain weight. I don't want to be sleepy. I don't want to feel like I can't create

because I've tried to take a lot of like any depressants before my life and sometimes they made me feel like I couldn't create or anything but I also thought that I had to be like high off my fucking mind to like make a record in a month in the studio with my friends and it's like that's actually like not conducive and it's not good for like anyone

and you're a mom now and so I finally was like all right I reached this point of give me anything that will make me not feel sad. Give me anything that will make me feel more confident and less anxious because I don't want to feel like this. And I got to it and I figured it out. And like, I take any presence and I feel great. And like, I feel happy.

And I don't know. I just think that like when you- There's nothing wrong. If you need it, you need it. No, there's nothing wrong with it at all. In fact, I'm like, you should take therapy. And if you might need medication, you should take it.

But I also, like, I love Eastern medicine. I love acupuncture. I think a massage goes a long fucking way. Talk therapy is incredible, even on the computer, you know? And, like, I just, like, where I'm at now, I'm like, tell me what to do. And when it used to be like, I don't want to fucking hear it now, like, what works? Like, you know, like, throw this noodle at this wall. And if it sticks, like, I'll take it.

Like, that's good. You know, I just want to be happy. And I've learned that, like, if I'm. I can be the best person for me that actually makes me a better mother for my son. Because I can't be doing any of this for anybody else. I have to do it for me because then I can be firm, steady, and grounded. And then when my cup is full, that's when I can give to other people. And I've just noticed that I could be so much more present and I can just be, I don't know.

I wasn't such a bitch to Dan. And he was like, he started to soften. And, like, let's talk about Dan and lucky. Let's talk about that area of your life. Oh, I love them so much. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I see you light up. I see you light up when you talk about them,

your stepfather and your mom. You just get this, like, twinkle in your eye. Family's so important to me. And sometimes it's your chosen family, you know? Amen, I got my chosen family. Jay, Bailey, those are my chosen family. Like, I just, I don't know what I would do without them, you know? They're like, they just become, like, our sturdy rock.

And I think I was, I've been really self-y self. a lot, a lot in my life because I'm such a hard, hard worker. But I didn't want to make a lot of the same mistakes that I grew up seeing. And so, like, again, like this thing that happened, like, in January, like, it just changed me. And I faced a lot of stuff from my childhood that, like, I felt like I could put to bed. And now I'm starting to, I've been, like, given this opportunity to, like, meet me where I'm at now and start working on these issues in my, like, adult life and, like, all my unhealthy things. And, like, you're only as sick as your secrets, right?

And so I'm, like, you have to tell on yourself, and you have to be honest and truthful. And, like I said before, like, I started to treat Dan how I would just hope that he would treat me. Because we were, you know, fighting pretty bad. And neither of us, you can't be heard if you're not. listening and so our communication was really not in a great way we were like speaking different languages and it was all rooted from a place of fear and all rooted from a place of hurt right person wrong time yeah and and then once we started to like hey you can't talk like we can't talk to each other like this like this is not okay lucky can't be around this and um we just started to

respect each other and I think maybe there is some of that missing even in our prior relationship and so this doesn't feel like we got back together he he kept saying like it's a new relationship babe like we have to take it slow and I was like let's get fucking buried let's get married right now and he's like I want to take it slow like we owe it to ourselves and I'm listening to him and like I want him to be you know like I want him to feel like a man and a strong man and I think as someone who's a performer and someone who's like you know I don't really can like think of myself as like a famous person but I am you know and you've earned it you've worked your alpha babe but I know that it can it can be like an emasculating thing to date like

or be partnered with someone who's like a strong female especially one like I've got a reputation it's like oh she's a badass and she fucking can really go toe to toe with the boys and like while that's all true, I also, I want to be like a soft feminine, like, wife and like loving partner and also have some love me. Yes, love me for both. And he does. And I need to love him and I need to celebrate his masculine and I also need to totally celebrate my favorite part, which is his soft, silly, sweet because our, are like

funny neck tattooed guys are usually the sweetest teddy bear. yes absolutely and that's what we love because we're tough as chicks right yeah well i had to learn that with jay you know because i came into the situation with just so much baggage and i mean i was like a fucking just a like just a force to be reckoned with and i came in and i just was so used to emasculating every man that i had ever been with i make the money don't you know don't i'm gonna fight you know and i finally we i don't think it's said enough as couples especially when you are having communication issues to be able to sit down and look at each other and say hey we can't talk to each other like that that changes everything yeah and my husband and i had to sit down and

do that and we've had the best relationship since communication is key comprehension is vital and it's like you literally have to be in you are fighting dragons with this person every day that is your fucking teammate your fucking co-conspirator like you guys are literally slaying this thing called life together and you guys have to be on the same page if not that ship's not going to sail and it's a choice i've struggled with like okay how do people get married like what is it how do you like really know and like do you just pick do you just choose because that's why like when you're when you're just talking about that i'm like hanging on everywhere because like you know i think i don't think dan would be upset from like with me saying like you know we're doing couples therapy and like they're trying

everything yeah i have done so much therapy i just had a therapy appointment but before you came in here. Right. But that's beautiful. And like it's, it makes your bond stronger. And like, honestly,

we, I asked him, it was like such divine timing. This, this therapist who basically, like, kicked us out.

Aw. Because I asked him would go to a couple's therapy with me and we had gotten into like a big fight. That happened to Jay and us. Because he liked this booty girl on Instagram.

And I, was mad and so we walked in we sat like there could have been an ocean between us and we were fighting and she was like i don't think that i can continue to see you guys blah blah and it was not great but then she emailed me and we weren't we weren't together but we were like in a really great flow of things and she was like hi i just wanted to let you know that like i'm starting to take new patients again and i didn't know where you guys were at in your journey and i was like oh wow we're actually doing really really well and i asked him was like hey like do you think you like want to like couples therapy and he was like yeah and i said like just as friends like just so

we can help like our communication he was like yeah i think i would like that a lot and then like a week later we were like back together and all you guys needed was a conversation like a conversation of two people actually wanting to listen to each other can change so much and it's it's really really crazy what happens when you put down the receipts and you put down the swords and you don't yell and you just like take a second and like that's not my strong suit it is not my strong suit I'm I was made to fight I grew up in a yelling family that's just how we communicated and it wasn't even like nobody wins in that not even the loudest person everyone just is like in fight or flight and shaking with adrenaline it's like looking like we're doing like we're doing

And Stimpy. Yeah, it's crazy. It's not good. And I think we both, like, grew up with a lot of that because that's, no one told anybody. No one told anyone that's wrong until recently. Now everyone tells you that you're wrong for anything that you do. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sometimes I'm kind of like, all right, enough.

Yeah, you know. Yes, of course. But definitely the speaking softer to each other. We don't yell in our house. I think I've yelled at our daughter one time and she really deserved it. Yeah, like, I just, we don't, because I grew up in a screaming house. household also so I can't if you start yelling at me I'm automatically shutting you out yeah like I can't listen to it and but also if you think about it like even going back to like not toxic people

but like you know who does win an argument the calmest motherfucker because they'll piss you off even yeah because they'll get you like I'm like what the fuck you do you know like any like teacher like I just think about like principals who are like talk like this I'm like you fuck it ass off yeah but like that's how like I want to be, but I also, I want to be the mom. It takes levels to get to that. Yes, and I'm not there. Me either. I'm like peeling the layer back.

I'm like, maybe level one. I'm don't start none. It won't be none. Okay. Oh, I like that. I like that. I just want to be the mom that like my son comes to no matter what. If he gets arrested, God forbid.

I mean, I'll let him sit. I'll keep that tradition of my family. My mom said, you get arrested. I let you sit in there. But I've never been arrested. Yay. I know. Shocker.

That is awesome. I've been arrested. So that's crazy. How have you never gotten arrested? I know, I've been handcuffed twice, but like, I'm very smooth with my words. If you make a love that, my husband's the same way. Really? He can get out of handcuffs at any time.

I'm like, you motherfucker, dude. He's very charming. He is. He is so fucking charming. I'm like, I hate you. He can get out of speeding tickets. I get them all. It doesn't matter.

And you would think it would be opposite because they always say, oh, cops get let pretty girls off. I'm not saying I'm pretty, but, you know, just saying, just saying that it's like a myth, you know? And no, my husband gets off on every ticket. They fucking stick it to me every fucking time, man. I only got one speeding ticket. Also, shocker. I know. And it was in my hometown.

I get where they gave it to you, though. I know. She goes, I know who you are. Oh, it was a she. But I still have to give you this ticket. I was like, damn it. And then she came to the show. Oh.

She even commented because I, like, man, I never get pulled over. And I took a video of like, uh-oh. She commented on it. She was like, I was going to get a ticket. But we loved your show, me and my girls. I was like, $85. I love that.

That is so funny. So what's happening now with Elle? You are on your redemption tour. What's it called? Ask the Baby Daddy's Weekend Tour. Baby Daddy's Weekend Tour. And I am just playing lots of music. I'm about to finish my album.

I have a lot of music coming out. I'm really, really excited about it. And it's, I always say, like, this album is the most to me. But, like, I think anything that I'm working on is, like, where I'm at in my life. And I'm very proud of the music that I'm making. And I started making a lot of it before I, like, had a nervous breakdown this year. And it's bringing me back to life, just, like, creating again and, like, having these, like, seeds planted and then making this beautiful album. So it's definitely going to be a little different than my last three albums.

But I don't think that, even though all my records have sound, they all sound like me, I don't think any of them have sound. like exactly the same but like my music is a representation of where I'm at my life and what is it more like is it country is it rock yeah it's definitely a country album um but it's really beautiful and it's it's what country is to me and um everything that I've kind of learned in the country world and um I feel like these are going to be the songs like I don't play every song from every album at every show but there's a lot of songs on this album that like I'll play for the rest of my life. And that makes me really proud and excited.

And I'm also sitting on an album that I made when I was pregnant before I went to country. And I'm like drunk and I don't want to go home. I wrote eight years before it ever came out. And so that song taught me so much about the life of music. And so I'm also sitting on an album that's like really, really incredible. And I'm just waiting for the right time for that to come out because it's probably, you know, the best album I've ever made. Drop that shit. I know, I know.

What are we waiting for? I don't know. I think after this big, that big eclipse, right? Yeah. Everything is supposed to be like all the seeds that we planted. I don't know if it's the same for every star sign. But like a lot of things are coming to fruition from like the last eight years. And so everything that I've been really, really working on is all coming to a head in a good way.

And I think it's the same. If you believe in that and if you believe in that. believe in yourself and if you are manifesting these good things that you're putting out in the universe it makes so much sense if you're into you know astrology or astronomy or anything like that like how all this stuff can be coming even even the crazy lessons that like i've learned this year like i feel like all these things are leading me to these manifestations of things that i've been maybe too afraid to try and like when i was thinking about doing uh like i want to be cool man to be a bad guy in a movie I did a movie I just did like my first like actual like

really really cool movie yeah it's all things like you just have to try and continue to put yourself out there and like it's not the first movie that I've ever done but this is the first time that like I really prepared I worked so hard to get it and like all these things that all these good things that are like hey wouldn't that be cool and just thinking about it and like putting it out and like dreaming about it like that's manifesting that's pulling it that's inviting it and Visualizing that it's already yours. Yes. And I say you have to make room in your life for greatness.

And, like, you have to clear things out. You have to, like, cut things off. And that's how, like, you know, like, you have to clip, like, buds on roses sometimes. But that's how more roses. I'm not a great gardener, but I do have some roses. That's been on, I'm manifesting to learn how to fucking garden. It's hard. I know.

It's really hard. I can't even, I can't even fucking save a sunflower from the grocery store. Listen. I've tried twice. I, I've tried to, like, mulch. and put, I'm trying to like, because what, like your house is a representation of your mind, right?

So I was like, my house looks like shit. So I tried to garden, and now all the grass is growing up through the mulch and it's like, oh my gosh. Well, that's why you need landscapers. It's so hard. Yeah, you gotta have to have people help you. I know, I know, I'm really trying to fight this stubbornness. Yeah, you can't do it all, oh.

Yeah, I know. I think your lesson this year is you can't do it all, baby. Ask for help, Elle. Allow people to help you, baby. You need just, I get a fucking land. scaper, okay? It'll make you feel better. Elle, thank you so much for this conversation. It was so sweet, and I can't wait to have you back, and I can't

wait to see this tour. I can't wait for people to hear this podcast. I really feel it's going to touch a lot of their hearts, and they get to just see a glimpse inside of you, and I just, I love it. You're so beautiful, and you spread so much amazing positivity, and I just appreciate you. Thank you for having me on.

I love you so much, money. You're amazing. We're going to make out after this. Don't tell Dan. Don't tell Dan. Don't tell Dan. Don't tell Dan. But I won't tell my mom. Yeah.

Oh, shut up, mom. Shut up, mom. We love you. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb blonde. I'll see you guys next week. Bye.