Dumb Blonde - TBT: Erica Mena

Episode Date: September 4, 2025

Throwback ThursdayThe stunning Erica Mena takes us through her incredible journey, from breaking out as an independent video vixen in some of the most iconic music videos to becoming a standout star on Love & Hip Hop. She gets candid about her relationships—opening up about her marriage to Safaree Samuels, her late partner Raul Conde of Terror Squad, and the lessons she’s carried forward. Erica also reflects on her difficult childhood, how reality TV amplified her “villain” persona, and what lies ahead for this multifaceted powerhouse as she steps boldly into 2025 and beyond.Erica Mena: IGWatch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Talk to me about Bernie. Barney. is this thing on what's up you sexy motherfuckers welcome to another episode of dumb blonde today my girl erika minna is in the house baby look and fly as ever too thank you babe i was like i'm seeing the baddest i got to come correct and i don't do interviews yeah i hate them because they end up being just clickbait people kind of you know yeah i don't know they've noticed they had never been like my friend i feel like i've noticed you do a lot of interviews with men. They're never going to give you a chance.

You know what it is? When I first started in the very beginning, to put myself out there, I was just doing like, bad TV, like these weird little outlets in the beginning that social media wasn't that big. But I wanted people to kind of like dive into me and it never turned out that way. So over the years, I was just like, I'm just not going to do. And plus I'm a reality TV. So it's like, what can I really say in an interview that you guys kind of don't see edited anyway on TV? so yeah i don't do interviews but um this one i felt like i had to um first of all such a

like your whole journey like i know what's up with you um i appreciate i feel like me have a lot in common too like you're my buddy yeah like we talk like we could go into it but yeah like you definitely like we have you know that loss of a companion you know kind of story that we can compare and just I just love how you're just such a ride to die. You kind of own up to who you were, what you were and kind of is like, this is who I am now and you just kind of taking people

on your journey and now they have no choice but to fucking respect you for it. And I feel like it's so similar to like me. I kind of was that. You deserve your flowers and that's what I was telling you and thank you for that. I appreciate. Thank you for seeing me for who I am now and what I've been through and where I'm at.

I really appreciate that and that means the world to me. but you also deserve your flowers because girl to be as relevant as you are in this world for as long as you have been and you've literally clawed your way up and we're going to get into your story because I'm sure a lot of people who listen to my podcast might not know your backstory and stuff like that.

Which is really why I wanted to do this more than ever. I'm like new audience, new fresh minds, like people get to tap in and then they can kind of do their homework on everything that comes with me after. But yeah, I've kind of been through a lot. Girl. Just out there for a long time. You have literally, you've been a video vixen,

you've been a reality TV star. Now you're dabbling in music and becoming an actress. And it's like, it's just so inspiring to see somebody who's came from where you've come from also. And pretty much we're like, you know what? I'm a force to be reckoned with. Deal with it. And I love that about you.

That's always been your attitude. You don't hide who you are. I love that you wear your heart on you. your sleeve. Thank you. I just feel like you're just human. And if the world doesn't love you, they secretly fucking want to be you. Because literally, you, I never thought about it like that. I think it's, you know, I just was a wild puppy for so long when I started. I had no direction. I just knew I'm going to be this. No one may like not knowing how to do it or who I needed to do or how I needed to be to do it.

I was just like, this is what it is, and I'm going to go for it. You grew up in front of the world. That's not easy. Literally. That's not easy. To grow up, it's like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears.

They all had cameras in their faces in the most pivotal years of their lives. And so did you. Yeah. You know, like you literally were a baby coming up and every part of your life was documented. Nobody's going to know how to act in front of it. One, you said it, you hit the nail on the head.

nobody guides you nobody tells you hey maybe you shouldn't act like this or hey yeah you had no management no nothing it was just kind of like this is and and even with family members like no one knew what the hell i was doing they just kind of well and reality tv encourages bad behavior because that gets views oh my god and when i got into reality tv i swore it was like wrestling i did i really really did i was like okay you just go in because i was cast it to be the villain you know that that was the conversation we had at the you know when I sat down to even start my reality journey and I was just like okay cool let's do it so in my mind I'm like this is like wrestling you go in you you know you be the super villain and you go home and you get to be yourself again and it wasn't until you know I got my fair share

of being aired that and the backlash that I got I was like oh maybe it's not like wrestling nearly and at that point it was like okay this is people are going to be able to be able to believe what they want to believe so let me just do my job and then as you know time went on I realized okay they're they're setting me up to kind of do certain things for what they need right to bring in ratings how do I get control over this for myself so that I can kind of get control absolutely and I was also going to say to one of your points is people think reality TV is real you know it is to a certain extent but at the same time it's not Because no one's going to really sit down with what a bitch that they don't like.

Right. And discuss why they don't like them. Right. And you guys get put in these scenarios. I'm sure there's alcohol on set. I'm sure there's people behind the scenes talking shit, putting shit in people's ears. The early years of loving hip-hop was literally, we pull up the set and the liquor was coming to the van. Yeah.

See what I mean. What do you want to drink? Open up the, you know, the cooler and you had your poison of choice right then and there. So yeah, that's a good point. Absolutely. definitely set you up. They gear you up. They juice you up, give you up, and then production, you know, the truth of how my production work, you sit in a van, you talk to your producer, and they kind of lay out what's going to happen, what you're going to, you know, this, and then

go. Yeah. And so, I mean, in a sense, they're seeing snapshots, like little Polaroid pictures of your life, but just blown up to where like you've had to hold something in for such a long time and not been able to confront a situation. So reality TV is, real in a sense but it's also severely exaggerated too so in the beginning stages that's kind of what it was and then when I started to when it started to get real and personal was when I got married and all that stuff like all of that and like and it's funny because my life would be cool come and then as soon as it's time to start filming I don't know what it is it's the chaos the luck of it where life just becomes crazy and out of control and the cameras are rolling and you just you just you just

got to go roll with it so let's cut it right there because we're going to take it all the way back to when how this even started how you even got into reality TV yeah of course we will get to your marriage because we know that that's why everybody's listening to this interview too unfortunately um but i really want to paint a picture for um my um crowd yeah of who you are where you came from and all the shit that you've been through before you even got to this reality TV fame. So you were born in the Bronx. Yes, I'm a Bronx girl. And but you have a crazy story because I every time I watch a new interview with you, I learn something new about you. You almost don't tell everything all at once. You kind of like give bits and pieces. Yeah. And you remind me so much

of myself because you'll be like, yeah, so I saw my arm off. But you know, this happened and it was great. Yeah. And it's like, you're like, wait a second. She just said something super fucking traumatic and then just brushes over it like it's nothing yeah because i'm so used to people not really get me or fuck anyway i know but that's not okay and it's not you know you are a rarity because we need more emotion in this world we need more like women who are like hey man this fucking hurts there's a clip that we're going to play later of you talking to your ex-husband and it broke me because any woman that's ever been in some sort of fucked up relationship had to have felt that moment you know and we'll get I know that that that clip has been viral for like it's still

viral oh I get I get people from like Australia and like all these places that are like sending me DMs and pouring their hearts out and but it's still to this day it's an authentic moment yeah it's a real moment and you weren't afraid to show that and I really have to give you your flowers on that because so many people try to just be hard for the cameras or try to act like they don't have emotion and you're just like no you know what this fucking hurts I'm That phase in my life when it comes to the reality of stuff was so real. And that's why it irks me when the other individual tries to act like it wasn't for, you know, safe face purposes.

But it is what it is. So going back to the Bronx, you growing up in the Bronx, your mom, can you take us on that journey with your mom? Because your mom was pregnant with you in prison. So let's talk about this. Yeah. She's like, wait, you did your research. Yeah.

No, no, no, no, yeah. I mean, obviously I wasn't born yet, so I didn't get to experience much besides, like, the foster care stuff and not being able to be with my mom all the time. Well, you know, like I'm supposed to. Any kids are supposed to in the very beginning, early stages of their life. But, yeah, it was in a fortunate situation. My mom, wrong place, wrong time, got caught up.

And my sisters, my sisters, my older sisters I should shake kind of felt it more than anybody um but yeah it was it was it was definitely a trying time from my family but my mom pushed through um I was in the foster kiss system for for some time and um my mom you know did what she had to do when she came out to kind of get me back and it wasn't until like I was like five six that some normalcy kind of started to transpire for me so the early stages of my life was definitely away from mom and family and that creates a lot of resentment and anger in your heart whenever as a child because i my mom left me on a doorstep when i was a baby and that really breeds kind of resentment sometimes towards women or sometimes

just towards everybody you know i feel like for me it wasn't so much like resentment it was just more of like um i just felt like it was just unfair the the things that i had to deal with as a baby you know and and i can't blame her for it because it is what it is but you know the people who are taking care of me you know and that's why too it's like when it comes to foster care children i have such a like a soft spot for them because you'd be surprised you know how the system just really just misses handles children you know consistently um and the people that they choose or they allow to be foster care parents because that's really you know i know for me in my experience that was kind of i think the

the part that really kind of messed me up in the childhood kind of phase of it you know being molested so young not having control over what i was feeling not understanding if what i was feeling was right it was wrong and that's why to this day for me to be sexual with anybody or anything even though I'm such a sexual being when I'm tapped in it has to be a connection yeah you know even though I'm super like people look at me and be like I'm super sad and I am you know like um it's part of like the Scorpio and me like but at the same time I'm so kind of selective because of that you know kind of experience you have to be um You know, especially in this day and age.

But I also think, didn't I see an interview where you talked about, like, while you were in foster care, you were also, like, sexually abused? Yeah. Like, that's hurtful, too. And that can affect, that can also make people super sexual or withdraw sexually. So, yeah, I was sexually assaulted when I was a child for the time that I was in this particular foster situation. and um was i feel like that kind of made me to like the tough not so much in the like the sexual stuff granted like when it comes to being sexual with anybody i have to have a connection with you like it's not just you know what i mean and it takes a lot to get me there yeah um but it also

made me like the tough girl that i am you know where i'm just kind of i keep my you know And my tolerance and my, I don't know, just kind of. You had to protect yourself at a young age. It was like, yes, that's what it is. I had, so the way I am now, I'm like, so like, I'll be damn. And people call it crazy and they call it whatever. I call it, I just dare you to fuck with me just because I, what I couldn't do as a child for myself, I'm going to do now. That just gave me goosebumps.

So you grew up to be the woman that would have protected the little girl that you were. I still, yeah. I feel like I owe that little girl the protection that I consistently on a day-to-day basis try to give myself that protection. Yeah. And that's really, you know, going through something like that at a young age because I also did too and I'm only saying that to relate to you. I understand the anger.

I'm obsessed with the song, your husband wrote on your behalf. Oh, yeah, yeah. Every time I listen to it, I cry. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Because it's really that. It's like, you know, you're innocent. You don't have no idea.

and when it happens it's like you you know no no as a child you don't know how to explain or you your innocence is really taken from you absolutely and not by choice and the thoughts and this and that is like you know it's tough it's not easy well that creates anger too like not being able to speak up and not being able to like say no I don't want you to do this to me that also creates anger I grew up such an angry child I got kicked out of so many schools oh my god me too for fighting for I mean, I'm telling you. And it stems from all of that that's happened in your child. But they say that you can feel your mother's emotions while you're, while she's pregnant with you.

Oh my God, yeah. My son, Sapphire, who's four, vibrant child, like, and it's very, is it articulch, she, but she knows how to, like, articulate all her feelings and such a, like, you know, vibe. But when I was pregnant with her, we were in. me and my ex-husband were in like real diehard honeymoon phase legend oh my god he is any little thing goes off it's it's literally night and day and it's crazy because when i was pregnant with him was when i was tormented the most by my ex-husband like from the cheating to the embarrassment to you know left to fend for themselves after a house got robbed while he's in a hotel we're just in the same house that got robbed and i was there

on ice tenting it was this and i literally can see the difference in my children from them too just off of you know what my pregnancy age was in my phases yeah it's crazy and he's a beautiful happy child don't get me wrong but when he is you know not getting his way the tantrums the the the breakdowns he has um i definitely see it i'm like oh yeah everything i felt when i was pregnant he now walks with and that so it's funny because every time he has those moments I tried to like squeeze him and hug him and um just because I'm just like I know what I went through when I was a pregnant and I just don't feel like it's his fault yeah well he is the way he is and what happened to you also wasn't your fault either yeah I just wish I would have known better as far as like what I allowed to happen because had I known my it would affect my it would affect my my child now, I probably would have made a lot more better decisions. Well, unfortunately, we don't know to make better decisions until we go through situations that make us grow.

Because I'm like, had I known it really would affect it my child the way it does now, oh my God, it probably would have been a lot easier to just walk away and never look back than it was then, you know? Because your children are different, they give you a different type of motive and like, yeah, hustle and reason and I'll be damn kind of. You know, way to be. You're already such a fierce human, so I could only imagine how you are with your babies now, too. Oh, my God, I'm like, I'm orange jumpsuit.

I dare you to fuck with me, but that kids, like, don't play with me. So circling back to your childhood, moving on from that horrible situation, I heard you say that your mom fought for you, which is awesome because a lot of women don't do that once their babies get lost into the, you know, system. And you also have how many brothers and sisters? So I have, okay, so I have two sisters. One of them on my dad, well, on my dad's side, I have two sisters and two brothers. Right. One of my sisters from my dad's side, oh, my best friend, I'm so happy. We found each other.

We didn't grow up together because my dad was, you know, playboy at his finest. But later on in life, she found me and it's like my best friend. Like literally, I wish I had her all my life. But anyway, we're making up for it now. I have another sister that I was adopted and we don't know much about like her whereabouts. but I have my two brothers on my dad's side and then on my mom's side I have three sisters

so I have a cute number of brother and sisters and they're like half they got like half and full-blooded yeah because all my sisters me and my sisters only share mama we all have different daddies gotcha that's how my family is yeah so I feel like parents back in the day

were such players oh yeah they lived in that time of just free love yeah and just do it like we literally we think we do what we want wanted it's like i feel like we're the generational curse breakers and we're breaking all the shit that our parents did you know yes yes yes so moving on from that let's talk about your father's dominican and your i heard your mother was raised by nuns yeah can we talk about that too yeah yeah yeah so um unfortunately she got caught up in the system as well

taken away from um my grandfather um and put into to the system and ended up in like an all I wouldn't even say all girl school it was like a girl and boy school but it was school you know for children um that nuns kind of raised them and it

wasn't the best experience you would think oh nun's holy place but I know especially everything that's coming out about like terrible my mom used to tell the stories my mom tells me I won't even get personal on that just because um we recently just had like a heart to heart on all the things she went through and it's so sad how yeah like I said like I just have a soft base space because they have

these facilities for children and children just aren't being treated properly yeah so my mom had a really tough upbringing which is you know why I understand you know her even more so now because as a team me and my mom used to clash so bad yeah we're going through that right now but Thankfully, it's not too rough, but I feel like everybody goes through that with their mom. It's like you just, you don't, they don't understand you. You don't understand them. Yeah.

But now, you know, as time goes on, like my mom opening up to me more, makes me appreciate her more, understanding what she's been through. And then it makes me look at the things that I've gone through. I'm like, oh, it's actually not as bad as my mom. So I have to. And I also feel like where I got my strength and resilience from definitely comes from her after hearing what she's kind of had to go through. I definitely know like why I'm such a you know unbreakable person is because of my mom but yeah she did fight fight for us it wasn't easy I'm sure they it's funny because they'll take kids from parents won't take kids from parents that deserve to be taken care of it and the parents that do ride for their kids they put them through house so that was kind of my mom's scenario but once she got us we kind of you know life started to kick in my stepfather took

took over, you know, and gave us such a beautiful life. Let's talk about that, though, because your mom was in a halfway house. Yes, yes. And then fell in love with my, my dad. And, yeah, and he gave us such, like I said, such a beautiful life. He was such a great person. He had, you know, his life as well and his back, his, you know, backstory. But ultimately, he kind of, you know, fell in love with my mom.

And, you know, you couldn't tell him. him that we weren't his children and that's how life you know kind of picked up for us and you know he bought us our first home and you know it was just it was once things you know we got over those unfortunate circumstances and my mom did the work meeting him you know that that the universe yeah that union just literally set the tone for my childhood to kind of actually kind of settle in and be all right and um i still dealt with a lot of things though secretly from what happened to me so you i think i heard in another interview that you said you never spoke about it right no because when i did i remember there was the time i did um i was told it didn't happen

so that is so hurtful though yeah that's really and it's funny because the sister that told me it didn't happen is the sister i don't talk to now yeah and that was the sister that I thought was like my nurturer because she kind of did raise me when my mom was at home right you know my mom worked a lot to provide us everything yeah that was the sister that kind of held it down for us but right you know tables always turn and you eventually see who people are and that's kind of where I'm at with that she might have gone through her own shit too so yeah she had a kid at a young age um so I'm sure she had her you know own stuff going on but yeah I was told it didn't happen, and, you know, I kind of looked up and very, was, how you said, that respected this particular person who was my sister. So, you know, you respect someone and they tell you one thing, you kind of roll with it. And that's kind of how I took it it. And I didn't speak about it for a long time.

That causes anger, too, in a child, when you feel like your voice isn't being heard. So you stuff that down. It's called unresolved anger. Yeah. And it's like you to have to be that young and deal with being told that it wasn't true is extremely hurtful. And that comes out in other ways also. Oh, yeah. That's why I'm like, I'm so adamant on like being the tough cookie that I am.

From then to now. I've definitely kind of calmed it down because I'm just kind of like, you got this. Don't worry. People know now. They got the message now. You know, so I got a chance. to wheel it back in you know but um yeah that's kind of why it's just kind of been that girl to no take no shit i got the label of being bat shit crazy because i don't take no shit and i kind

of just i accept it it just kind of is what it is and then people thinking i'm crazy believe it and not helps me because it's kind of like you know they they they they they know not to fuck with me so that's kind of like selective like unless they really really you know like well i'm your girl so i'm going to give i'm going to give it to you real tell me you had to step into your, your, uh, masculine energy. I've been in my masculine energy, even when I was married. I feel like it's, well, he's in his feminine energy, but we'll get into that. I feel like I've never not had to be my back masculine energy. Right. And, and I talk about that a lot on this podcast because I too, and I'm only saying this because I relate to you so much, have been in my

masculine energy my entire life. And the only person I'm in my feminine energy with is my husband. And I promise you that when it happens for me you're going to be this golden race you're going to be the softest version of yourself and you're going to look back i had that taste for like a second it's beautiful yeah but when it really happens and like when it's for like ever when it's your time yeah you're going to look back and you're going to be like i never want to be in my masculine energy again i want to be oh yeah no to have to be in your soft era and then have to jump back in that's what's not talked about a lot. Yeah, absolutely.

No, that's extremely fucking traumatizing. Oh, my God. You're like, and it's hard to let it go. Because you're like, I loved it there. Yeah, like, why did you take this from me? Like, why? You could have just left me the fuck alone. Like, you gave me a taste of what I deserve

and then to pull it underneath me to have to, and then to have to be masculine times 20 or 100 than you've ever been before. Yeah. No, I feel you, baby. And we're going to get into that, I promise. We're just building this story. Yeah, we have to build it.

So going back to your stepdad, he pretty much came in, made life so great. And then when do you start, like, you know, thinking like, okay, you know what? I want to be a star. I feel like I always kind of, like, loved music. And I used to watch West Side Story. over and over and over again once my mom put me on to it it was one of my favorite go-to movies and i would sit and watch it and sing and dance and um i was obsessed with rita morano and i don't know i just felt like i always loved that whole vibe yeah like it was just always me

to sing and dance and i was always in the mirror and like you know it was just something that i just it was just within me. It wasn't even like something I was introduced to. I would watch musicals all day long. I just was obsessed with them. And once I started, you know, when my early preteens, music videos started to become a thing. Like, for real, for real.

Back of the day, video vixons were like the it thing to be. Yeah, like Janet Jackson, that's the way love goes. Oh, yeah. One of my favorite go-to videos to watch because she had like a variety of all these beautiful women. and Jennifer Lopez was one of them not even known at that time but you know one of like you just see like all these women biving out and dancing and just being I don't know it was just like an era but that whole like music video phase kind of drew me in even more

and then you know growing up in New York the castings of music videos and things like that were like at an all-time high I actually have a cousin named Maritza she used to be married to David Alangria. So we had our fair share sometimes, too, of going to see living color or him perform certain things, you know, and she was managing him at one point. And I remember, like, reaching out to her one time, I think, like, 15, 14, I was like, how do I,

oh, I want to be that. I didn't know what it was. I just wanted to do that. And having a conversation with her, she was just like, if you're really serious, you know, go check out backstage and that was a newspaper at the time that you would get at the corner at the um you know like the little um newspaper stands music magazine stand that's so candy and all that stuff so i would like get off the bus so get off the train and get my um you know

backstage and i eventually just like one day was like you know what i'm going on on podcastings and auditions and it just kind of took it from there and um i would go skip school school go on these castings before you knew it i got you know cast it for a music video and then it just which one was the first one um the first one ever was um all stars it was a music video with this group called i want to say it was all stars can we find that maybe and the crazy thing about it is it online it's featuring um it had nicky menage wow early prime wow um type in all stars nicky menage and see if that comes up well isn't that crazy how life is so full circle it's so full circle because the individual i married later on in life was in it too they had like

a group yeah that was my first music video ever that's the red string theory and if you are able to pull it up it's so graining and so like because this was so long yeah but how crazy is that that's like the registering theory that he was in that video with her and you were in it also life literally comes full circle that is nuts weird yeah so weird let's see if we can find out all stars i i'll when we wrap this up i feel like i can find it put nicky manage all stars video well i was a i was a vixen in the right i was like a random you know video girl that was my first video then came can't stop won't stop young guns which was Rockefeller and

all the New York shit all the New York shit. That's when Rockefeller was like huge too. Oh my God yes. Young guns can't stop won't stop and I remember because it was one of the it actually became one of those videos that were on all the countdown so I would be at school and people would be coming from

you know to school like I see you in the video 1006 in Park and it was just like it was a cool feeling and then yeah it just kind of took on a life of its own. I got a taste of what it was like to see myself on TV. I got a taste to, you know, to see how things moved, you know, behind the scenes and what they were looking for, how you needed to look, what, how you needed to move, who you

needed to be. And as young as I was, I was picking up everything. No guidance, no, you know, manager, no nothing. I would like speak on behalf of myself. And just, you know, just kind of just maneuvered. And before you knew it, I was like lead girl in music videos. and then I started doing, you know, publications from like double X-Eye candy to this was all huge show in the 90s.

Oh, this is like the 90s, right? 90s and 2000s. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're showing our age here, Erica. I know. I was like, wait, is it 90s?

Yikes. Like late 90s. I was literally a baby. Yeah. One of the videos. I was 17 and 97. I was born in, what, 87? so yeah

I remember one of the videos I did I was like 15 wow that's crazy that would never fly nowadays well back then they didn't do all the paperwork and stuff like that and they paid you cash you know well it's because weird shit was kind of happening

behind the scenes sometimes it was in the early stages of just the whole you know how things would get done like there was no real process right you know they would cast you and then And, you know, that's about it. You kind of get your $200 and, you know, get sent home and you'll be there all day.

Like, I went through it all. But I'm really blessed, though, in that, even though I was so young, I wasn't dumb. And I will say this, my childhood traumatic experience saved me a lot from getting caught up in. You know, a lot of women do get lured in in these environments to have to do X, Y, and Z to be in these positions. where you can be on, you know, in these videos and stuff like that. And I feel like my traumatic experience definitely saved me from like knowing better and just like I would never because what I went through, I know what it felt like to be touched and, you know, not wanting.

Yeah. And I would never, like I would have refused to like feel that way again under my, with it being in my control, I would say. So yeah, it like unfortunate situation, but it definitely prepared me and had me prepared. to kind of maneuver in those spaces being as young as I was. That was an example of you taking your power back. Yeah.

Yeah. And I also knew what I wanted to do. So I was just like, you're, you're going to respect me, and it's not for that. Right. You know? Absolutely. When I got into sex work, that was my way of taking my power back. It was indirectly, like, you can't touch me unless you pay me.

You know, so it was like a, it was a weird healing, you know, situation. but we all a lot of us victims um i don't like using that word a lot of us survivors um you know we take our power back in different ways and it could be something just like what you did just saying like you know i'm not going to you know we're not shaming the other girls who have done it but we're not going to be yeah yeah totally it is it's it's it's one of those things like everyone has their own way of like dealing with what has happened to them and then how to progress with it yeah absolutely can we bring up a couple of these videos so we can see young erika it's so funny i i we got a few do you got young

oh god that oh i can't wait to dive into that oh i can't wait to dive into that oh yeah we got we're ready baby we're ready go this is okay this video you were in candy shop i didn't know that yes i love that i used to dance to this song this is 18 year old menna 18 19 I used to dance to the song on stage all the time. That is so funny. And I was definitely like 17 going on 18 here. Look at Erica. I was such a baby.

But you always, you still look the same. You think so? Yeah, you're so beautiful. Thank you. Oh, my God. This is one of my favorites. I got to work with a lot of friends and minds on this. These were all the jam.

Oh, I'm so lucky with my video catalog. No, this is amazing. This is like history. This was actually, I was really excited about this one because for me, there was so many beautiful women on set and the fact that I was picked to kind of have that like one-on-one moment. When you're in the video world and you start from like, okay, kind of being a little bit of an extra to like main girl, you know, status, it's like an accomplishment when you get to kind of deal with the artist one-on-one. That's why the Chris Brown video, it was like, oh my God, now next movies. Like, I made it. How was it meeting Chris Brown?

It was his early, like, years of, you know, child. So, and I remember because I used to smoke black and mild. Oh, God. I think everybody went through a black and mild's face. And I remember him seeing me off-camera smoke one, and he would not let it go. He was just so, this is like baby Chris Brown. Yeah. So he was like, ew, you've smoked cigarettes, you smoke, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And he would not let it go. that he even made a comment about it on like making the video and swear to this day people swear like I had like some type of bad breath but it was him talking about me like smoking and you could smell the smoke like you know so and it's funny because I see when every time I see him I'm like you have to clear the air on that that you were literally getting

like making front of me for being a black and mild smoker because he was fresh he was like you know baby wasn't smoking wasn't doing anything and um Yeah, but that video was my favorite. I remember my best friend at the time, me and her were up for the part. Yeah. And it was, you know, I felt bad, but I was like, I want it. So I made sure to outdo her and I got the part.

Yeah. I mean, this is your career that we're talking about. I had that Michael Jackson video. What's that video where he walks down the street? The way you make me feel. Yes, the way you make me feel. Yeah. Okay, so I had that video in mind, and I remember that woman just being so, like,

poised and badass so when i did the audition and it was eric white who was um who directed this video i made sure that whole video was just playing in my head over and over so in audition like with my friend there i made sure to outdo her yeah we're not friends anymore so i can talk the truth about it yeah but i mean you're not even saying i made sure to i'll do you sweetie um but yeah to be 17 16 17 doing these types of videos that's insane like that's a lore like this is history right here. Yeah, no, it's, it's, I have a lot to tell my mom. I mean, my daughter. Yeah, yeah, literally. Sapphire. Mommy has a book to tell you. But unless you've lived through this era, you don't understand it. And it's hard for people to respect it. But this is like, this is really,

yeah, because videos aren't like the go-to thing anymore. No. And people, this was such a cool era. I wish we could go back to this because this was like, that's the girl, actually. She ended up being cast it for the friend. Aw. Her name's Marisha. I love it. But I mean, this is like, this is such a cool lore and this just goes um i just want to show everybody how independent you were before even this marriage that has made so many headlines and you know because i see people say things and i'm just like do they realize who erika was before she got with his band and i think because i've been around for so long yeah and then came this era and then came love and hip hop and then when i did love and hip hop well i was on there for like 15 years easy um i went through the different phases like and i'm i'm i'm

I went through the whole era of like, okay, not understanding how reality TV works to, okay, now I need to get the audience to tap into me. Even though producers were still set on me being narrated this way that brought in ratings, it took a while for people to kind of like, okay, see me as a person. And I still feel like they don't see me as a person because they're so used to me being the villain. Right. you know for a long time i was okay with going in tearing shit up saying whatever telling you know letting i'll doing whatever they wanted me to do until finally i was like this is not who i want to be forever i want to do movies and i want to do and i would go out for additions for movies but because people have this set you know narrative on me casting people it was hard for people to cast me so then

i'm like okay i have to do something that over time and and and even though it was like i was one I'm one week hated, one week loved, and it goes back and forth and it fluctuates. One thing's for certain is people watch for me. Absolutely. You know, because I bring it, whether it's put together story by production or it's

my real life. What did you say to me earlier? Talk your shit, girl. So it's like, yeah, I've been able to kind of like people, whether they hate me or love me or whatever, they gravitate, they watch. So over time, I'm just like, you know what? Like, I, I want people to kind of know who I am.

I'll still give you guys what you need. But I want people to start knowing, that's why, too, you'll see the shift. If you see the years of loving hip hop, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. About it, about it, you know, going off on whoever, I will say whatever and read a bitch for Phil. No, no, no, no, um, which I love that, Erica, pop the fuck off queen. For sure. I would have like, no remorse. And then after a while, I'm just like, okay, I'm done.

being that girl like and you could you would see the ship if you really watch that early love and hip hop phase to like okay as time went on you'll see how things change and it was because i was just so sick of people just thinking i was this this mean bat shit crazy bitch for no reason it's like i had to do my job and i did it and now it's like okay people still want me um so let's show them who I am. Yeah. So for a while, and even with that, like, I would be real deal myself and production when they're, like, edit things to be the way they wanted to be.

That's why with my lesbian relationship, yeah, we'll talk about that too. Yeah, I'm like, this is the real deal. And then next to you know, it's like they're edding it up. Like, this bitch is completely innocent. And it's like, damn. We're going to hop into that relationship with sin too, but I want to talk about another relationship before all the love and hip hop stuff because you actually met your first baby daddy raoul who was part of the terror i know he was part of the terror squad take me on that journey

with you guys um i met him at the nita sky video move your body um and i was brought in by you know production to be on set where he was already on set and i remember him telling me the story i had this black dress. Remember the arrow of like that draping? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually still love those dresses. Yeah, well, I have one of those dresses on set. And, um, he said he, this is the story that he tells me and it's, it lives a rent free in

my head forever. But, um, he's like, as soon as they brought you in the room, I seen you when I look down at your stomach and I was just like, damn, this bitch is going to have my baby. Oh, my goodness. He was like, your, your stomach was so. sexy he was just like i just felt like you were gonna have my baby and he was like that's why i said and it's funny because they asked him when i they brought in a couple of girls like who who he wanted nance standing next to him and he picked me and as soon as i you know got next to him he took off

his terrace rat's chain put it on my neck and it just draped right there on top of my stomach and from there it was like his too oh and then he like i remember once he can put on the chain he put his arm around me passes me his phone and he goes put your number in. Aww. So that was the romantic way of getting with my first baby daddy. But that was the kind of man

I was like always attracted to. Like a man that's just like assertive like boss like not with the extra shit. Like you know let's get straight to the point. I'm one of those women like if you want to fall in love in three days let's do it. But really fall in love like I'm down. So anyway he pulled that mesh emerged souls.

Yeah. Like okay. Like you see me. you want me you're for me let's do this yeah and that's what it was he saw me he he knew he wanted me and yeah and um we were inseparable after that i felt like two days later um i was 18 when i met him um yeah i was young you're a baby but you were you know of age so yeah it's fine um so you ended up having rolls baby yes take me on this journey of being a video vixen and getting pregnant, like how do you, I think. Oh, I hid my first

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dumb blonde podcast in the drop down menu that follows i hid how how did you do that you know why because okay not saying i don't love my kids i'm so obsessed with my kids yeah but i never wanted kids yeah there's nothing wrong with that i've never wanted kids either and i have one right I never wanted kids. I think seeing my sisters struggle to provide and all of that just wasn't my thing. Yeah. It just wasn't, I just saw it as like, okay, this is great for you guys, but it's not for me. And I used to walk around with this whole mentality of like, if I was stupid enough to get pregnant,

I'm going to be smart enough to keep my baby. So therefore, I will never be stupid enough to get pregnant. Right. And then before you know it, me, Raoul was having our time of our lives, living it up. You know, I was hanging out with him during the stages of BMF being, you know, in Miami and running the streets. DJ Calid was still DJing at the clubs. I actually had Tonisa Welch on the podcast and she's, she was the first lady of BMF. Yeah.

So like I was around during that, that era. What a great era. It was such money was everywhere. Yeah. I feel like it taught, it showed me to the ropes of like, okay, like, be about your. shit get your money you could live a good life and you know that's kind of where I was aiming and that's where I was so when I found out and I found out when I was pregnant like six months pregnant I had no idea I was six months living my best life wasn't showing no symptoms um still getting my

period and you're already so tiny like I was even more tiny wow before then because I didn't have my breast implants nothing I was like so young yeah um and yeah I found out I was pregnant and I I was actually depressed. I didn't want it. I didn't want a baby. Well, I mean, you were a baby, have it a baby. Yeah, I didn't.

And I hid and I hid and I just, I had to gather myself in the sense of like, okay, like this is what it is. How do I do this? I more so spent the time being pregnant with my first pregnancy coming to terms with, okay, this is what it is.

And being okay with that. Right. But once King was born, I was like, okay, I'm okay with this. Oh, you felt in love with them. I felt madly in love with them. I breastfed, I took pride in that. And because I had my whole pregnancy, too, for me was more so, like, I got a chance to just dive in to like, okay, this is what it is.

You're going to have to do whatever it takes, you know, to give this person the best life possible. And I didn't know how I was going to do that. but I knew I was going to do whatever it took to do that. Right. And how did you guys come up with his name? He named him. Oh. He named him.

That makes it even more special. Yeah, he named him. I was like one day I was like, do you want to name him Raul? And we're like, you know, like I said, like I was still coming to terms with me being pregnant. So the whole naming thing, you know, was like, I didn't know. I didn't want that responsibility. But at the same time, I was like giving suggestions.

And then one day he was like, we're going to name him king. And I was like, what? Really? He was like, yeah, I just love the idea of like a woman going up to him and like asking him his name and he just says her, I'm king. Yeah. And he was, Raulah was so into God and about God and, you know, stuff like that that, you know, he always say, you know, God is king.

King is God. So I think that's kind of where his drive with that came from. Yeah. And I was fine with that. I was like, king, actually. And then when I thought about the, you know, how he broke it down, like, yeah. Yeah. Imagine. Like if I was a woman walking up to a guy, he's fly and turns around ax and named King, I'm sold. And back then, too, that name wasn't very popular. It wasn't. Yeah. It wasn't. I think Kingston, Gwen Stefani had named her son, Kingston around that time. I remember that vaguely because when she announced it, I'm like, she talked our name.

But he's like, no, it's King, King. So, yeah, so he named him. And yeah, and it was. King changed my life completely. He made me the ultimate hustler. He made me realize that even more so than I did before feel like I had the, like I needed to make shit happen for me. Yeah. Because, you know, stealing baby formula and pamperers and all that shit was not the life I wanted to live, but it was what I had to do at some points.

And it was just like, okay, I can't. And it's crazy because still to this day. Like, people would be like, where is Queen? Why does she never show him? And so on, so forth. But it's like he was born and I did everything I could to provide for him. So when I finally got the call to kind of do love and hip hop, I was living in L.A. at the time. And King was like seven, six, seven.

Love and Hip Hop in New York was in New York. I was living in L.A. and I made my mom retire so that I can have the peace of mind obviously me going through what I went through as a child I was like I'm not leaving my kid with just anybody so the next best thing was make my mom stop working and take on the responsibility of not only taking care of a kid

but my mama so that I can have peace of mind and go out and make shit happen for us so that this way we can have. So I did have to sacrifice a lot of time but it wasn't until he was like six, seven. I was with King thugging it, you know. Well, you were already doing some TV stuff because Raul had, was best friends with.

Yeah, he set us up to do Dash, Miami. And King was like, what, three, four? He was in a snippet of it too. Yeah. He was like, two, three. He was walking around. He was so small, so tiny. But yeah, he was putting me in.

One thing I will say, regardless to what, and our relationship at one point was so like, oh it was it was toxic but it was my next question because yeah it was toxic because it was more controlling like he really just he saw me as being for him and only for him and as time grew I was like I want more out of life like I love you but I want more and like like was he a lot older was he a lot older than you okay how about a couple of years okay um but I will say this like even though the times that he made things difficult for me he was always a dad yeah he loved his kids and even in the times when he didn't have much he still made it happen so like with king

with with with ral i never ever had to think for one second to ever put him on child support or anything like that because he just was always like he was just a real one when it came to the kids he just made things difficult for me at times. Well, yeah, but even with that being said, he put me in position for a lot of things that I'm able to do now. Like reality TV, he was the one who kind of set that play up. Him being good friends with Scott Dissick. He introduced me to Courtney, and every time they would come to Miami, we would hang out with

them. So I eventually built, you know, rapport with her. So when she started to cast for Dash, she, you know, asked about me. And Raul was like, absolutely. he actually was the one who made Jesse Terrero put me in candy shop and this is around the time that Fat Joe and 50 Cent had their rival but he was like my girl because he knew Jesse was casting for that and he was like you know Erica would be banging for that like you need to have

you know a Latina in there stop playing and Jesse was like you sure like aren't I at war he was like Joe's at war not like they got nothing to do with my girl so he put me in position for that that's amazing I was casting for that yeah no like raoul like even though we had our toxic times and it was real bad girl like real bad like physical bad like whatever we could do to fuck with each other hurt each other we were doing at one point and it's not something i you know i'm happy about but it's the truth and but even still he didn't he knew i was the mother of his child so he didn't do anything to stop me from flourishing to be able to be the best that I could be.

That's amazing. That's a real man. Yeah. Like, regardless of how he felt, like he, at one point he had like a real possessive kind of mentality when it came to me. Yeah. Which I look back at it now. I'm like, fuck. Kind of hot.

It's very hot. But I was young and I also was like, oh, no, let me be. I want to go. I want to, because I also knew, like, there was more for me. Yeah. You know? And he was very set in how. he did things and how he was

as a man. I used to get on him all the time because he used to, he would bring money to everybody. Like, put these business plays from Fat Joe to Khalid to, you know, Jesse Terrell, to all these big people

that now are doing so extremely well for themselves. He would set up these plays for them and would never ask for any type of like business percentage from deals he locked in. And no, none of I would ever look back and be like, hey, you set this up here, feed your family. So I was, you know, as his woman sitting around seeing this man look out for everybody

and you see the other wives, you know, living it good. And we're here kind of like struggling and penny pitching. And after a while, it just didn't sit well for me. And I would bring into his intention and it would just be a bicker. And his thing was, you know, like, you know, this is what I do. This is who I am. And that was great for him. But for me, it was like, as you're a woman, I can't sit up here penny pinching while you're doing all of this.

Everyone's eating and we're just barely making it. Also, as his other half, you want to bring that to attention because you want to be like, hey, baby, like you deserve this too. It's too, up until he passed, I feel like that was always our conversation because he's, he was always the power play. Right. And it's funny because at one point, he came out with his own water. and he brought it to Joe's attention like let's do our own water blah blah blah and it's safe to say fat Joe downplayed all of Raul's great ideas but over the years who had their own water 50 cent came out with his own vitamin water like you know what I'm saying

like it's like all these great ideas that he would bring to Fat Joe and he would downplay it or turn his turn his cheek and you know like he was such a brilliant man with all these great ideas he just wasn't he was respected when it came time to protect everybody and you know do the street shit and stuff like that and when he was bringing money to the table but never looked at and like you know acknowledge for the other great things that he was you know trying to make happen so i think that was just like as much as i like wanted to stug it out and stick with him on it i just I just knew like, okay, you're okay with this and this lifestyle and this living and being, you know, leveled with all of this. I can't.

Like I, like the way these other individuals are living, I deserve to live like that too. And that kind of was the reasoning for me kind of like breaking things off. But it wasn't easy because he was not letting me go for a while. But he still put me in position. I owe that man so much. Like, you know, from the music videos to bringing me into reality TV, I got a taste of it. I got a chance to see how it works, what it was, and how they do things, and just seeing, like, how the Kardashians are able to turn anything with their name on it into bucks and stuff like that. Like getting a taste of that with him putting me in position to do that and be that, you know, set it off for me.

It was everything I needed to know. It was kind of like a little blueprint. So that man, you know, we had our toxic times and it was ugly. And it was one point I went viral after I got on love and hip hop because of an altercation I had with him outside of a nightclub, which was, you know, gets brought up a lot. But people don't understand the backstory of that. But it's fine.

But even with that being the case, he's still... did right by me because i was his kid's mother and you know for that i just i got to give him ultimate respect how are you dealing with his death um i don't think you could ever deal with it um i didn't think else um you pushed so much down erika that that's why whenever moments like this happen it comes to you because you don't you push so much down you're so trying to be the tough person you know so it's like it's um it's the heartbreak it's okay to hurt that i got to watch my baby go through it i can't do anything about it because i can't ever take that away It was so unexpected, too.

It was his best friend of my kid's best friend, and they had a relationship that was just so, I actually wish I had that type of, thank you, that type of relationship with one of my parents. I guess you could say I kind of had it with my stepfather, but to see your kid heartbroken. And as a mom, you know, can't do anything about it is like the hard part and then realizing that now I'm really a single mom

because he was like oh dad for him the other situation I feel like is whatever I think I've been a single mom the beginning. But now, for real, single mom. You almost don't realize how much weight he pulled with you until he's not there anymore. Yeah, because when I couldn't be there, because of my work schedule and things like that, he pulled rank and he showed up and he he did what he had to do. Or him and came close. Huh? Or him and king close. Extremely. Yeah. Extremely close. And it's funny because over the years, me and him became extremely close to. He would talk to me and like, like, what do you see in this? Like, look how fast you left me because you want it better.

What is it with this? This is not even your type. This is not even of your level. Like, you know why I picked you? You know why I picked you? Because I saw greatness in you. You know why he picked you? Because he wants to take your greatness.

And he would have these conversations with me. and they would resonate and those and our conversations mean his conversations will be those times where I would have the I would build that strength and then I'll be like okay never again and then you know he was like your best friend again yeah but he would remind me of who I was a lot like do you do you know who you are did you forget who you are like look how fast you left me and you didn't look back and look what happened like what is it with this clown whatever the fuck he wanted to call him what is it with him like why why are you letting this situation especially when i was going to postpartum really bad after i had legend yeah he would come over

bring me food open the shades like what are you like what are you doing e like did you did you forget who fuck you are he's like like you know snap out of it and then you know it's funny because the babies loved him they called him uncle raoul but we had a relationship it was great you know um the only thing he was just so soft but king will get away with everything and that would be our thicker if there was any like you have to let like you can't let him run you you can't let him tell you what to do and this and that i'm like you have to be the dad And he's like, oh, you know, like he just had this softness with, with King. That King can get away with anything, could tell him anything, or whatever.

But he was the best dad. And then over time, he just became one of my confidants. Confidants, no other. We spent Thanksgiving together, you know, at times we did New Year's Eve together, like him, the babies, King and Raoul and the family. And, you know, that was that was it. Yeah. I'm so sorry that you guys have to go through that.

That like it breaks my heart to see you hurt so bad. Yeah, it's hard to just know that King's still hurting. Yeah. And probably will be hurting for some time. Yeah. Yeah. Losing a parent is rough. I couldn't even imagine at that age losing a parent.

Yeah. And then, you know, King and him have plans to, you know, do things together. Like, you know, moving him into his dorm room, college and things like that and how is your relationship with King now because I know you it's kind of better we've had our moments I feel like because King for a little bit

he doesn't like the limelight so you know me being famous and stuff like that once he became vocal like he didn't want to be on TV and social media because any real fan of mine knows like being King used to have the best snaps back in the day

and King is so smart that we used to end up on blogs because this is the beginning phases of like social media and stuff but Snap was big for us and we would sit and have these conversations and as a kid he was so into like global warming and modern day feminism sounds like this one over here yeah yeah they're just so smart like I could never yeah so we would sit and just have these conversations on Snap and people would just be so blown away about how smart he is and this, not and third, and

he finally started going to school and where kids were a little bit older, and parents, you know, are tuned into love and hip-hop. And that attention just started to really get to him and affect him. And there was one time he went to the library and a group of parents just kind of like forced him to take

pictures and that just kind of traumatized him for the rest. Like that to this day to get King to go out with me somewhere, um, I have to promise him that I'm not taking pictures. Oh, I understand that. We deal with that in our family, too.

Yeah, I get that. He hates it. He doesn't like it at all. He's very, he's super introvert. He's like, not with any. So for a while, it was just like, why do you have to be famous? I hate this. Like, you know, like, so we went through that with Bailey too.

Yeah, like, it's rough on kids. Yeah. And it's not even, because he was never bullied or anything. about it. Yeah. It's just the fact that it's a life they didn't ask for. Yeah. It's like, why are they in our, like, why do they want to take, like, I hate this.

Like, why? So for a little bit, he dealt with that. And then also, too, when I started loving hip hop, I had to fly out every Sunday from L.A.X. Red Eye to make it Monday. Right. So fly back out Friday, red eyed. So I could have Friday, well, Saturday morning to Sunday. So I will only have like a day and a half with him when I started doing love and hip hop.

So I missed that on a lot. You get a lot of shit for that. Oh, my God, yeah. And to me, and, you know, everybody has their own situations that are going on. And you had your own trauma that you're dealing with, especially at that age. Since when do we start shaming moms for having to work? Yeah. I don't understand that.

Because I already have the guilt of like knowing. I'm going to miss football. I'm going to miss parent teacher. I'm going to miss, you know, just making him lunch every day or whatever. Like that guilt will just never go away. And just the little things. Like even now with the little guys, I'm like, I bring them to set with me because I'm so scared of missing something. Yeah.

You know, I don't, I already walk with that, like, resentment with myself. Guilt. And guilt. Because I'm like, fuck, I miss that on so much with him. but at the same time King had stability he had structure I go through it a lot

like I feel like especially with the little ones I think back like damn like this is what I miss with King and then and da-da-da-da-da so anyway with that being said

I had nothing when I had King yeah like Raoul did what he could but for myself I had nothing yeah like in order to have rents

be paid in order to stop stealing what the fuck I needed to survive in order to provide food and all of that I really had nothing yeah so when I got the opportunity to do love and hip hop it was a lot like even for me can you imagine like working all and I remember I had to like stay with my sister for the weeks the days during the week that I was filming for love and hip hop yeah who was still living in New York and then fly back and then literally be home but this long to go back on that six damn hour flight. But it was an opportunity for me to get out there to, for me to get paid, even though they wasn't paying me much at that time.

But it was something. Yeah. And it also gave me an opportunity to give King what he needed. You know, not having shit. Yeah. You were literally working. I was working to provide what he needed and just making it. And I was okay with that because I was able to pull it off.

And then you got to remember, too, I also had my mom that I had to take care of too. Yes. Well, people make it sound like you just were out partying and, like, living a life. And they don't even realize that, like, parents every day make sacrifices for their kids, you know? And you were doing what you had to do at that time to make money. Did you miss out on his life a lot? Yes. But now look at the life that you have provided.

And I will say that. Like, I missed out in a lot, but he. turned out to be such a beautiful soul he is so like intelligent he has accomplished so much yeah he's 17 and in college right now yeah as we speak like I can't even complain like that's why now like before I used to bother me and I used to sit there and like explain myself but now it's like I feel like it's a little bit weird and freaky and and kind of like now I look at people who inquire and stress this whole where is he why she's never posted like you are weird to be stressing about a child's whereabout especially a child that is doing well for himself yes at such a young

age for him to graduate high school and already be in college at 17 and already have his career like he wants to do um cyber he wants to work in cyber security and he's adamant on like being in that field no matter what it takes you know like and it's not industry it's not and he's not and he has the private life that him and his dad, even though his dad was known, his dad likes his privacy as well. So he gets that trait from his dad. And he has everything he wants and more. You know, it's just unfortunate now he doesn't have his best friend, you know. But even with that being said, he's doing the work to get through it by, you know, now he's in college. He's, you know, sourced out his own therapist and, you know, things like that to kind of, you know, start his

life and being a grown, you know, person. And he does a great job at it. And now I feel like he's accepted me being the famous family. Well, it takes him growing up a little bit too. And now it's like, it's funny because now that he's in college, we talk more now that he's in college than we have ever. Well, when he was a kid, he was. to blow me up um but then he got into like preteen and then it was like oh my mom's famous and then um but now he's in college and we talk all the time like we literally are on the phone for hours that i got to tell him like king i got to put the babies to sleep i'll call you tomorrow and even that it's so hard because it's like your baby wants to talk to you and stay on the phone

with you and you're like fuck i got i got to go because i have the other ones but and then the babies are obsessed with him sat fire is like in love with her brother you know talks about him all day long and it's funny because he doesn't like pictures but with her he'll sit on her like she will turn her iPad and with her he'll take pictures but you know pictures with anybody else like he runs from the camera so sat anytime we want like an updated photo of king we go to sapphire's iPad yeah they're there like you know so yeah it's come full circle our relationship and then any parent who has a teenager knows like teenage years they suck.

I love being a mom, but like, oh, like, and I'm thinking already about it when it comes to the two, the two that I have now, I'm like, I do not want to go through those things. Teenage years are so hard. You're going to have two of them at the same time. Exactly. And I got the boy and the girl, and it's going to be so interesting to see how I pull that off. But teenage years are so hard. And then this generation, and then the way school is made up, how, you know, kids are forced to have to talk about

commerce like subjects that kids shouldn't be having to talk about no kids now the some of the sexual preferences and you know tom wants to become sally and all of that stuff is fine but it's like that's not what i have in my household so for them to have this upbringing and then put them into a school that or schools in general or the outside world because one thing i've learned is that these kids learn more from other kids than they do their teachers sometimes it is scary yeah and then they come back from school you know you lie to me or Or why is this? And then it's like you don't,

you're not prepared for these conversations yet because they're not at the age where you should be preparing for them. My husband always says this quote. He says, the worst thing you can do for a child is a parent that has an unlived life. Yeah.

Because, you know, if you're just going to sit at home with your kid and not pursue your dreams, what is that teaching your children? Yeah. You know, now look at your baby. He's in college pursuing his dreams because he had parents that pursued their dreams.

Yeah. And then that sacrifice, you know, even though I wasn't ever expecting to do it by myself now with the two little ones, it puts me in position now where, okay, I have made a name for myself where like the two little ones now, instead of leaving them behind, I can bring them with me on movie sets and stuff. Because I have a little status and people kind of respected and understand. And now, too, working moms are more respected. Way more respected than they were back in the day.

They know you come with kids. They're going to give you a good trailer. And that's how I've been able to pull off all my movies because every single movie I have done the little ones have been on set with me i see that too i think so yeah and that's something i would wish i would have had then but i was making a name for myself and setting myself up back then yeah so now yeah things are different yeah so moving on from king we're going to get into the subject that everybody wants to talk about and everybody wants to hear from you on because you haven't spoken about this at all i've been speaking about it just because of loving hip hop right but most

recently there was the most recent yeah there was just something that was put out there for monotentation and clout and you know for a weird agenda of a certain individual who's now a YouTuber yeah all of a sudden

a YouTuber we were we were researching last night and I was just like this is fucking weird but to each their own I'm never going to knock anybody's hustle it's got to be a midlife crisis at 43 years old you wake up one day and wanting to a YouTuber. Girl, let me break out my

glasses because I've got so many notes on this. So for those of you who don't know you actually married Safari or yes, you married Safari who is Nikki Minaj's ex. That's pretty much what people know him for

as being Nicky Manage's ex. You can see her whole demeanor change talking about this man. Take me on the courtship because you said somewhere that he courted you for about three years oh my god that's crazy i didn't want him right my intuition knew what was up right i did not want him i never found him attractive in that way um and it's funny because

it wasn't until i actually started dating him that i even got like the real of like his relationship with Nikki. So when he started to kind of come after me, I knew he was her ex, but I didn't know the real details of it. Coming from the Terra Squad angle of my life, I always was a Remy fan and stuff like that. And don't get me wrong. Like, who doesn't sing a Nikki Minna's song? But I was never like tapped in.

Like, because you remember, she's from Brooklyn. I'm from the Bronx. So you kind of growing up in New York, you, you see. side and more gravity to the rapper that's from your barrel. Right. And not everybody has to like. Well, it's not even that. It was just

I was with Raoul. So Remy was my go-to. Right. You know, like that was who I knew. That's who I sang. And I do know that Nikki for years had like these bomb-ass mixtapes that even friends of mine would like dive into a know-y word. So I knew of her.

I just was never like really super familiar with her music because of the world that I was kind of in right um so yeah I didn't know the details of their relationship or that you know whatever until we kind of but anyway I so you guys met on the set I wasn't how you say that I wasn't put onto game of the kind of individual that was all I knew was that he just gave me corny he gave me player he gave me you know like it wasn't the fur coats that threw you off you know what i don't even think he had the fur coats when i kind of met him and he was kind of going at me he had the the fake ruby gold necklaces and um i was engaged to bow wow the first time i ever came past with this individual so that's how far back

we were at this strip club and they were actually filming for like this reality show at the time and I had went to be in support of my friend Saya that was a part of it. Anywho, he was dating an associate that I knew at the time. She comes in with him and she introduces me to him. And he literally was like, you're Erica Mena. Damn, you're so beautiful in person. Wow. Mind you, he's with this other woman.

Just disrespectful from the gate. So that to me was like my first impression of him. Like, you are just disrespected. respectful you're thirsty you're just not like not that type of guy yeah anywho um that was my first intro to him and i from that day he for like three years this man just when i tell you did everything in his power until finally my publicist he hired purposely because he knew she was my publicist. And I didn't find this out until years later, but he would offer her money just to kind of, you know, get to me. So yeah, I, I was, I was tracked down and he was persistent

and he did. You had had previous relationships on like love and hip hop and stuff like that. Were you burned from like going through the situation with sin, going through the situation with rich dollars? Was it because you didn't want to have another relationship on camera? in that franchise? Well, he wasn't even on love and hip hop. Oh, okay. When he started kind of going back to me. Okay, okay, gotcha.

He wasn't even a part of it. Wow, okay. Yeah. So, yeah, this started like, when I met him, he was definitely not on it. Okay. Was it you that brought him in on it? Was it what? Was it you that brought him in to love and hip-hop?

No, I think at one point, he just got, you know, tight on money and decided to kind of like go after. Nicky Baby and court her so he can get on it is what happened. Yeah, there's a motive for his everything. I stopped watching love and hip hop after you and Rich Dollars broke up. Really? Yeah, I was just like, I'm... Me and Rich had a good run. I will say that.

I thought you guys were so cute. I would say this. He believed in me, but he was one of those guys that he was easily influenced. Like, anybody could tell him anything. Yeah. So at one point, people were like telling him, like, she's just using you, blah, blah, blah. mind you it's like I don't have to use you I'm talented like you're a manager if you're smart enough we're co-stars what the fuck is in front of you and you would you know not think relationship

and think fucking business I and I still to this day tell them that all the time I'm like had you not believe what the fuck people were trying to make you believe whether it was production or like outside people yeah me and you probably could have made a killing together in the business because like one thing rich at one point had was good tactics on how to like he's like he helped you know spiral cassie's you know career and he's you know responsible for a lot of other people and he was even managing olivia at one point um but he just believed whatever the fuck people told him and it started to put a bad taste in his mouth about me the mother got involved and you know yeah it was just weird it was like you know everyone wanted me to be this person that was using him

and it's like um i don't have to use you i'm i'm that i'm fucking talented whether you see not like this bitch got something going here like but i feel like you guys genuinely had love for each other like there was a moment there but at the same time he just did a lot of shiasty shit for storyline to hurt me and like you know like that's fuck like even with him teaming up with with sin it was like he despised that girl and then all of a sudden to bring me down they both when me and her won the outs it was like they got together to kind of go at me which whatever was great storyline but But yeah. And then as far as sin, what sucks about that is there was a lot of truth that came out with her that Rich kind of brought on camera.

But they edited out because she was the one that, how do you say, they wanted people to feel what they feel about her. What do you think they feel like? Her being this innocent woman that, you know, I went after her and I took advantage of her and, you know, broke her heart. mind you she had a man the whole time right wow and i was okay with that because it was like i this is this was at the time don't judge me but i knew she wasn't with a girl ever but i knew i liked it her yeah so had you been with women previous to her okay yeah i've been bisexual all my life what how old were you the first woman you got with oh that's a good question I would say like 17 was my first girl.

It was a relationship. We didn't do anything, but we just like made out all the time. Was it like a full-on relationship? Yeah, it was young. High school, you know? Yeah. I wasn't ever sexual until later on in the years. But yeah, that was my first girlfriend, even at the child's high school in the Bronx.

Dominican girl. Yeah. She's having flashbacks. I love it. So, yeah. So the sin situation I've always thought was a storyline. It wasn't. It wasn't.

I really, really liked it her. But she had a boyfriend at the time. Yeah. And I was just like, keep him. Because in my mind, I'm like, he's not going to be around long. Like, I'm your first girl. Let me show you what it's like this way. You could come over here happily, freely without, without us making.

a mess yeah you know like that was kind of my take on so you're going to be mrs steal your girl and i pretty much was up until you know i don't know it's funny because i to this day i'm like i did everything i could for that girl to like set her up in the right way right you know like um i made sure her contract was kind of okay like they did right by her like there's a lot of behind the scene stuff that I did. Like you felt like you looked out for her. I was the one who like, you know, set up for us to do publications, for us to like, um, I even, you know, decided like, let's, you know, let's start some type of like,

teach, because we, we built a fan base, you know, just overnight and I was like, let's capitalize on this. So I used, I used my own money and started to make t-shirts with our, our pictures on it. And like, we would sell it every week, um, 11 hip-hop was airing. And it was like, okay, like less, and, like, less, and, and, My plan was, I'm going to put the money up, use this money, and we can do like a real clothing line together. Yeah.

You know, like I was already kind of like setting up our future in a way. Like a real daddy. I mean, you guys were both two beautiful women. Yeah. And that got together on reality TV. Yeah. And I really went after her. Like, I really, really genuinely liked her.

And this was in a time when people weren't having same sex relationships on TV. So that was something new that you guys brought. And I think that's why too it resonated so loudly where people were. At first, at first we got backlash with people. People were like, you, you shouldn't be faking. And I was like, oh, if you only know, it's not fake, you know. But, yeah, I really, really liked her. It's just with her, I don't think she was come.

Like, she started, it was more of an insecurity of, like, Erica and Sin. Like, she kind of felt like, you know, she wasn't the bigger, I don't know. Oh, so it became like a competition. Like, I think that's where it's where it went left with her. I hate that. Genuinely. I really, really do. because it was like Erickinson, Erickinson, Erickinson.

And at one point, I remember we had an argument and she was like, why is they never sit at Eric? And that's when it went light bulb. Oh, that's where all this is kind of coming from. And then, you know, before you knew it, it was like she was just trying to find everything wrong with me. What a crazy way to look at it, though, instead of just being like, you know what, I'll be the, you're in your masculine energy.

She was in her feminine energy. I definitely was in my masculine energy. like somebody's got to be the man of the relationship so let me lead exactly but that's how I am with all my females I tend to be the man yeah so yeah I believe it I believe it okay so yeah so yeah that's kind of where we went left and then before you knew it the producers got wind of that and and they and they rolled with the punches of like okay yeah like the drama mm-hmm yeah so and then you know it worked to her benefit because mind you I came on loving hip-hop as the villain So, you know, people already have that mentality that, that, how do you trust people in this business when everything is a fucking storyline? Yeah. One, okay, I came on. The narrative was I'm the bad guy. The audience, like, is said on that I'm, that's what they, they've been seeing all this time. That's what they were made to believe. So that's what it's been. And it's still to this day has been that. that's why you know um the the YouTuber was able to run with so back to safari yeah like but that's why okay so and and and it's funny because I want people to remember that because of how I came in and that whole narrative of being the bad guy and like the crazy girl and this and that that has been

stuck to me like glue since I started right it's kind of like the scarlet letter so it doesn't matter what real life shit happens, whether I'm at fault or not, people want to believe that. So when you deal with someone, I think also, though, you have always showed how strong you are, that people are like, oh, Eric, I'll get over it.

You know, and that's not fair to you. That's really not fair to you, especially when you go through, and the more we uncover the layers of this relationship, this is an abusive relationship that this man is creating a narrative and painting a narrative, and that's what narcissists do.

Based off of my, how you call that, reputation. Yes. My reality show reputation. Once a narcissist loses control of his supply, he controls the narrative. And that's what I've been watching happen with you guys. And you and I have been talking for months about this entire situation. And you finally have just gotten to a point where you're just like, I'm not going to keep letting this man paint me as this bad human, you know, because he did an interview with Jason

Lee eight months ago. Can we bring that in? Eight months ago this year. Yeah. This very year, eight months ago. Yeah, he did this interview. This was before he decided to be a YouTuber. Right.

Of course. Yes. What the? So they brought him a cake out, and this was a divorce cake. And in this divorce cake, he is talking to Erica, which I thought was so weird. Listen, I'm only blowing this because it's on fire. I'm not celebrating being divorced. because I love my children's mother and my kids still,

no matter what the situation may be. But, God, just keep blessing every union that I'm a part of, friends, family, everybody. You know, this cake is starting to look like a person that I could vent to. I appreciate you for where you've taken me in life. You know, we have a connection that somehow we just can't let go of. I really think you're an amazing person individually.

We may not be good for each other right now. But at one point in life, we could be. And I love you. I care about you. And no matter what, I got your back. Cake is vegan, too. Go ahead and pause it right there. So this was eight months ago.

This was eight months ago. So let's circle back. You guys end up. This was around the time he was shooting for the villains show that he's on. and the whole time he was there he was like when I come home I promise this time like mind you this has been a reoccurring thing

right so that's what I was going to say let's paint this picture because this was eight months ago so after he courted you for three years you finally gave in and decided to you know be with this man you guys had pretty much like a short lived marriage correct you got it was you got you got together what 2019 we got married 2019 was together 20. We had our daughter.

Pandemic. You know, we were stuck together. Yeah. And then 2022, we officially divorced. And a week after our divorce, this man calls me hysterically crying. Right. Claiming he wanted to hurt himself

because he made the biggest mistake of his life. And this is all public record. You guys have had a pretty, I don't want to use the word sloppy, but pretty intense. intensely sloppy divorce and you know

it's two people that are hurt obviously you guys had a very passionate thing you guys you know two beautiful babies have came from this situation you know and it doesn't have to be like this

you know he seems eight months ago to be singing your praises so can you tell us what has transpired since then oh my god a lot what has yeah I mean there's just so much

to tell because it's been three years of this but um we got in divorce in 2022 a week after we got divorce he called me hysterically crying claiming he wanted to like hurt himself because he made the biggest mistake of his life and i remember that day so vaguely because literally it the way he was hysterically crying on the phone and you know pouring his heart out I felt like, because I'd be lying if I said when I initially filed for divorce that I really wanted the divorce. I did it. I filed for divorce with the attention of him getting his shit together.

I'm calling his bluff. Yeah. What was the reasoning? What did he need to get together? What was his shit that he needed to get together? Um, I won't get into detail of it too much, but I found out he was cheating on. on me the first time ever um and he was going to chinese parlors not the old rub and tug damn in the dark old women damn no oh safari come on and when i found that out i was

completely obviously disgusted heartbroken going through well didn't nicky minage say that he was paying for hookers with her credit cards before we get into that can i just because we are talking on the subject of her. I owe her the biggest apology ever. I owe her an apology because like a lot of us women tend to do when we don't know any better, especially when we're hard, deep, rats warped into the love bombing phase is the red flag that us women tend to ignore

when a man sits there and talks to you. love bombs about his ex and all the things we did to him and it's funny how life comes full circle because the same thing he did to her he's doing to me years later i remember him pouring his heart out to me about all the stuff she did to him showing me videos of her reacting and at the time you're in a love bomb i didn't think to ask well what did you do to her right you're just showing me all this stuff that he she's doing she's how she's reacting right why does this man always have videos of these women reacting exactly and now mind you this is a video he was at one point going around i found out later on um he was going around the industry showing to like around

the time he was trying to bring her down when he was lying to people saying that he wrote for her like literally saying whatever he could to like kind of ruin her career that's terrible and take a credibility for her real hard earned work and what is the video of she was chasing him and i won't get into too detail because i don't feel like you know yeah being that i'm in her shoes now i feel like she's owed the respect to like i don't but come to find out he had broke the laptop that had her pink Friday album on it on purpose

and then videoed her reaction and of course she went fuck off yeah he's recording it so rewind fast forward to me being with him I'm down to the mother

partaking and agreeing in these conversations oh my god she's the devil blah blah she did all this stuff so anyway I owe this woman an apology because I sat there and allowed him to talk to her about talk about her to me. And from that came me saying things and like defending and vouching for him and speaking up on her in a way that was tacky because at the end of the day, I didn't know the truth, especially not the truth that I know now and we do that a lot of women do that they get caught up with a man

and he's so good to you that you allow him to gossip to you about his ex you get manipulated yeah and they and they never tell you what they did they just tell you what they did and how crazy she is and she did this and she did that's called I owe her such an apology because it's so crazy how life it's not crazy it's just life but it comes full circle it tables always turn everything she has ever said about him is true. Everything that she had went through with him, I'm going through it worse, you know? Like you said, she definitely aired him out for paying prostitutes with her credit card.

Yeah. I think, well, first and foremost, he cheated on me going to a parlor and how I found out, but is completely embarrassing how did you find out but before you go into that I just want to say I think that is so big of you to apologize to Nikki like that especially publicly and I feel like a lot of other people I feel like anyone who would whoever sided with him during that time that they broke up because he was really like he taunted her to this not too long ago before he came at me for the YouTube he taunted her by going to her concert. Can you pull that up for us? Can you put Safari at

Nikki Minaj concert? Like I think I thought this was the weirdest thing I've ever seen. It's weird because you're saying that you're going there to make because you're proud of her. So why didn't you sit in a box? Yeah. Calm, cool collective. Watch the show like a normal person. No, he went there with vlogging everything. Yeah. And then have the nerve to stand, I think in the middle of the stairs. So everybody could see he was there. And somebody he went there to make a shit show

fucking appearance. He went there to get a headline. A headline. And to provoke her knowing she's moved on. She's married. She has a family. Every chance you get to talk

about her, you do. It has not stopped since you guys have broken up. And he does it every time for clout and attention. Him going to this concert was for one reason and one reason only he wanted her to react in some way

right we're going to pull up the clip right now so that you guys can see it sorry we have an out no you're good like here it is you're not even in a seat

it looks like he's in the bleachers where's he's You can definitely tell he was not a guest And then you have eight security Because you know you're not supposed to be there Right It's weird It's definitely this was weird behavior

And this is the thing This is what I don't understand about people It's like okay So first it was her That he taunted for I guess Subscribers And Attention for his YouTube

Now that he's a newfound YouTuber Right He got the social media viral conversation that he wanted but it wasn't enough traffic for his YouTube so now all of a sudden he wants to speak up on why he's being a deadbeat

so how did you find out that he was going to these rub and tugs this is where people can understand where the fuck your anger is coming from because that's a heavy situation while you're pregnant and to have to go and confront the band that you love so people are like oh um well you file for divorce while you were pregnant and i'm like

oh yeah so any other woman in their right mind would have filed for divorce so that's kind of how i found out and i kind of like went the fuck off i remember that i was just like what is going on like what is this like so he wasn't just doing rum and tugs he was actually having sex with these people clearly wow and from what i gabbered because I did my homework. And it's funny because it's the same. A week later that he confessed this, this same Rubba Tug place,

was on the news in Atlanta for being shot up. Okay, so this makes perfect sense because in that Jason Lee video interview, he talks about how Atlanta was a dark place for him. Yeah, probably was because he was going to these parlors. And what I did my research, they were all old women. Oh, God.

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and my boundaries was absolutely not stronger than my sympathy I love this man so madly that even with all the bullshit because he's been allowed to come back so many fucking times you loved him more than he was

loved yourself i wouldn't say that but because i see the way i love i love so fucking hard that i'm not letting go that easily right you know and that's that's a flaw i have and i love the fuck out of me but what i love i love so it's like is that a flaw is it a flaw it is to a certain extent because I have to learn, which I have with him, one to let go a lot sooner. You know, like, because like letting go someone you love, like the way I feel it is so, it kills me. Even though I know this is not good for me, it kills me. So that's where I was at with it.

And after I found out and he confessed, you know, what he confessed. I remember calling his mom and confiding in her and that's kind of where our relationship went left just because, oh, does that woman make excuses? Well, she's probably the reason why he is the way he is. It's absolutely the reason why he is the way she is. And I know that because, you know, with our daughter, I was during the pandemic and he would be jealous of the way I always had to breastfeed her. you know like baby always has to be on you oh she's still on you and then just the way i'm so

affectionate with my baby oh no one ever hugged and kissed me like that when i was so little little things that he would say like that resonated with me and that's why too i i made sure to like go up and beyond i would cook clean and oh my god the type of affection i would give him there was nothing I wouldn't do for him, you know, like he, he would ask me something and there's there was never a time I would say no. Like, oh my God. Right. Um, so anyway, um, where was I at? Uh, we were talking about why you filed for divorce. So, yeah, I called the mother and like, you know, asked, you know, told her and she made this shit, like, shitload of excuses for him, everything but taking, having her son take accountability or her even, you know, coming out.

to maybe speak to him in person or whatever so anyway I decided um to get counseling for us and we started doing marriage counseling and then before you knew it um you know things just was the counseling working at all it was for a little bit but then we started like doing construction on our house and um he didn't really know much about so things were becoming extremely hectic and the responsibility of that I think you know kind of just made him like you know feel extremely overwhelmed next to you know he just the cheating just became never ending I like that's when he started cheating on me with the the to me version eric amena that he eventually brought on the show and it and and it just never stopped and it was

he didn't care if it was on the blogs he didn't care if it was you know so at that point it was just like okay after like the third three girl i was just like i'm i'm gonna file for divorce so i fought for divorce um and it it sucked for me because i when i when he confessed the whole you know going to the parlor thing it grossed me out but at the same time the way he was just crying hysterically and like saying how sorry he was and that you know something was wrong with him I took it as

this is my husband is for better for worse in marriages shit happens I can run from this or I can do my job do my part as a wife and stick by my man

and let's go through this in secret behind closed doors and deal with it so that's what i did i decided to still be with him even after that happened but the cheating just didn't stop it was like just one it's like it was like yeah like one disrespect after the other oh my god it just was never ending and i was i was pregnant with legend and it was so bad to the point you know even after our house got robbed this man was so scared to be in the house with him and his children his wife and his children he got a hotel And even later on, I found out in the divorce, he even bought another house.

I had no idea. But, like, left me in the house that just got robbed because he was too scared to stay there. But it was good enough for me and the kids to stay there. And, you know, just taunted me. When I tell you, the cheating was just never ending and it was all public and, you know, and I'm just eating shit, eating shit, sticking by, like, and going through this divorce. And as time went on, I was just like, okay. so I didn't make the right decision.

I thought when I fought for divorce, he would wake up. When I fought for divorce, it got worse. He cheated on me with everybody and anybody he possibly could. It's just...

And it's sick because these women that he was dealing with knew he was married. And it just was like, no shame. I feel like all of us women have been in relationships like this. We all have one nightmare relationship where we can completely relate to you.

And the anger, anger and the just absolute like feralness that comes with after you have just been beat down emotionally, beat down verbally, beat down sometimes physically, it unleashes an animal in you that is really hard to explain unless you've been through that and the rage that comes from that sort of thing. Because you're, one, you're embarrassed. Two, you're, you know, it's embarrassment, humiliation. You've, you've, got these babies you're also going through postpartum oh my god it was horrible this is the lowest part of your life it was bad like i was literally ovulating at 29 weeks i was like two centimeters open oh it got so bad one time he had went out with one of our cast members and was just gyrate in with some girl and it was all over the blogs i was woke up one day and I just lost it. I'm like, this man literally violated me and put me in jeopardy, but he doesn't stop and I'm pregnant. And I'm like, so I saw this all over the

blogs, this one particular incident. I went crazy. I literally took all, because he's a materialistic person. So I already knew what to do to get back at him. And it wasn't right, but at the same time, I just lost it. It's called reactive abuse. Yeah. So I lost it, put all his sneakers in a big garbage pan can, and I just put pain on it, and it was a great little release. But even that, it was just like it was just never ending,

and he purposely just put me through hell forever. Like, it was just nonstop. At one point, I was literally, and this was all documented on love and hip hop. I was literally on, like in the hospital by myself, wired up, them keeping track of the baby because I was ovulating so early. I finally gave birth at 32 weeks and two days, three days after Legend was born, he decided to go to Jamaica with his friend's ex-girlfriend, Bounty Killah's ex-girlfriend out of all people, to spend his birthday.

This is just so hurtful and you're just laying in bed and having to watch this. And at that point, and this is, the whole and this is the stuff that mind boggles me about people it's like okay you guys how soon like because people have short-term memory to do this it's hard to keep up life goes on right but this is the same man that it's been moving like a deadbeat from the time his last born was born legend was still on feeding tubes in the nick you i was having to drive an hour because where i gave birth at the hospital was an hour away and our house was another and we had sapphire who was just turned turn one. So I had to

I had to like literally switch out days and nights all by myself. The mother didn't fly in. The sister didn't fly in. It was just friends of mine and his brother at the time, his her, his wife at the time that was helping me. My manager came in at one point like just

you know people that could help me was flying in to handle Sapphire so that I can go to the hospital pump and just kind of be there with the baby. Give them, you know, know like skin to skin as much as possible and the whole time he's in Jamaica living his best life gyrate in his hips like as if he didn't just have a baby who's still in the NICU literally so I dealt with all of that this man has no sense of responsibility whatsoever and like he doesn't have a heart and this is before the whole YouTube fabricated yeah we're and we're getting

story he put together it's like it I think it's it goes way even before that. Like, legend was not even out of the hospital. And it's funny because the day he left that I last saw him, he was supposed to bring up the car seat. Because, you know, I just gave birth. You're not supposed to carry things heavy, whatever. He told me he was going to go get the car seat and never came back. Never came back. It wasn't until I saw him on his Instagram in Jamaica that I even so yeah it's it's sick and then when i called the mama like i'm engorged i have this baby here like tell him come home like what's going on like you know what she told me to this day i just like i still can't wrap my head i'm i you being a woman okay who claims you did it all by yourself too

you were mistreated by his dad or whatever, how you can put this together to tell a woman that your son just married and just, she just gave birth to your grandson. She's literally, I was at my weakest point, so vulnerable out of it, obviously embarrassed, hurting, not only postpartum, but heartbroken

because of all the shit your son's putting me through. I'm calling you to ask you, to please, like, do something. Get him, like, tell him to come home. You know, mind you, yeah, I did file for divorce, but still, like, these babies, they're still here. Like, yeah, we're going to. Or just have a heart.

She literally told me, good thing you file for divorce, you won't have to deal with him much longer, is what she told me, literally. And I just remember, because I know, obviously being around them long enough i know the jamaican slang slang i literally told her her i was like the fact that you can tell me that while your son is living his life right now as a complete waste man and in jamaican culture a waste man is like the bottom on the bottom right right she didn't like the message so from

then our relationship just kind of has been whatever. But for her to even tell me something like that, it was just like, come on, woman. Obviously, you have no respect for me either. So it is what it is. And with all due respect. Yeah, and you also. I should have really said you raised a waste man,

which I probably have at some point. Yeah. And also, you know, it's, there's just so much here to unpack. Oh my God, I don't even know where, like there's so much. It's crazy that. Like, how do we put this in sound bites so that my voice gets care? We got, we got this. Because I'm like, there's just so much something back.

There's so much pain here. And the fact that people can even look at the situation and side with this man is, it mind boggles me. Yeah. And like I said, I got to take accountability because I just wasn't strong enough. This has been going on and on because I let it. I have to take accountability in that. Absolutely. To the point that he was allowed to do this.

But that doesn't mean that. you deserve this because no but at the same time like i took him back too many times to count right you know like it's it's just not like i allowed it to be to this point and even now it's is sick so okay so then you know that all happen and then here we are legend you know turns one he's nowhere to be found but it's funny because anytime you guys have ever seen this man really be with the kids it's because he's in the process of trying to get his family back which means we're kind on decent terms right which is was this about eight months ago that this that you guys were still on good terms when he well this particular podcast yeah he was he had just got done

filming the villain show right and the whole time he was filming anytime he got his phone he was facetiming. Sorry, he was facetiming me. Right. And swearing up and down. Like when I come home, I swear this time is different, you know, even when he won. He was like, I won. I'm going to use this 200K and

I'm going to buy you another ring and we're going to do this again. And blah, blah, blah. And I love you so much, E. Like, you gave me my kids. There's nothing. I'm going to make it up to you. I'm so sorry. I swear I'm going to prove to you. Girl, I have text messages. I have videos. I have, and just like he can, like,

I could too. Like I wish we had time for all the messages that I wish you guys could read because this man when I tell you when he goes through that moment of like trying to get me back

the way he pours his heart out in text messages with his words and then how he does his gestures sending flowers buying me jewelry like it's just intense

and then he'll come over to my house and you know won't leave he'll act like he's coming to get the kids but won't leave things like that um it's just it's it's been non-stop since the time we officially got divorced so we got divorced in 2022 and the week after we got divorced he that's when it really started like he would you know claim how um he wanted his family back and that he was going to hurt himself and and this one particular call the week after we got

divorce was so intense. I really believed him that he, that I, you know. You loved him. Yeah. So, and obviously with my experience of what he did, you know, when I was pregnant, I knew he needed help, you know? And even though I should have ran, my, I loved him so much that I was just like,

this is just our story. Like, it's this way. Toxic fairy tale. Yeah. And like, I'm going to, I'm going to get him right. Like, I'm going to, we're going to get this together. Especially because the way, when our love was good, it was good. Like, Safari is so funny.

He's charming. He's a, like, great spirit when he's great. And in that, you know what I mean? Like, that's why I was friends with him, too, for so long. Like, I didn't want him for so long. But then when I first, like, when I realized, like, there was, because trust me, be everything i could do in my power to scare this man away i did i remember one time i invited him to come to cancun i had a friend of mine's had like uh bought me a trip from my birthday and i was there

by myself and i like last minute just decided man let me have him come when i tell you he came the next day no hesitation i was drunk i was acting a fool when i tell you i literally treated this man like a peasant like here grab my bags here i'm drunk carry me to the room like there was nothing like I just abused this man like I knew he liked me so much but in reality I was just like he likes me I'm just I don't like him I'm just not going to take a serious and I'm just going to give him a hell and nothing scared him away it was endearing I did everything in my power to discuss him you know I probably even threw up that trip because I was so wasted he nurtured me care like there was no getting rid of this man so anyway um

because he didn't let me or leave me alone and I know what it is like to be with him because when he's into you he's very attentive he goes all out he's so romantic the way he can text you and get your panties wet the way he's just so romantic just in general he's super like into you um he makes you feel like he is going to do anything he can to level up your life you know No, like, he does what he needs to do. Oh, my God. He can sell a fucking dream. And then because he's funny, he's charming, and all of these things, it's kind of like,

it's once you're swarped, you're swarped by him. It's bad. Like, it's so bad because he has that gift. But the gift he has and he's not using it in a, you know what I mean? The women that are listening to this that have been through this know exactly what you're talking about. So good. You are preaching to your, your crowd here. He is good.

Like, so it doesn't matter. And the sex is always fucking phenomenal. Oh my God. That's like out of this world. This man devours me and does everything in his power to please me. Right. This man will literally beg for fluids of me just because he's like, I want all of you. Yeah.

And as weird as it is, you see it in his eyes. You're like, okay. And you give in and then you're like, this is the weirdest shit ever. But this is like, that's how deep he dives into you. It's consuming. And before you know it, you're fucking consumed. And because when it comes to sex, girl, he goes all the fuck out. Like all the fuck out.

To please that man can like literally, he can turn probably a butch lesbian straight given the opportunity because he dives deep. And there's nothing he won't do to satisfy you. So with all of that, it didn't matter how much shit he did in the past. When he goes after you and when he would go after me, all of that shit, and I forget about it. And I'm remembering and I'm just indulging in the now. It's a cycle.

It's a vicious cycle. Oh, my God, it's a never-ending cycle. And it's funny because he knows my weaknesses. he also knows even though I should say even though he does everything in his power

to like please me um cater to me shower me he also knows how to trigger right and when he's bored triggers

and what are some of your triggers that he that he attacks the up and down oh my God ugh there's a lot that he does to like trigger me and it's sick because he does it because he

knows so like there's times where I'm just like why are you doing this to me like enough is enough like you even x y and z oh i didn't do that to you shit like that oh that'll drive me into a fucking blind rage and it's like he'll deny it and then there's times and it's crazy because most abusers try to rewrite history oh my god so he'll do things right and then he'll set me off And because, and this is really the core of it, he's the non-confrontational, confrontational person. Passive aggressive. He stirs up so much confrontation,

but has this cool laid-back demeanor about it. So he'll set me off, he'll violate me and disrespect me. I'll go off, and then I'm feeling sorry that I went off. when it's like I have a right to go off but because he doesn't you know react and loves my

but indulges in the way I react he won't react and go crazy but I will and then it's me feeling sorry and then I end up apologizing for things that I shouldn't be apologizing for and then it's like it's okay

I know I know I know you're hot-headed I know you're an emotional emotional um what is this thing i know you're very um you're uncontroll your you you don't know emotionally unstable there you go i know you're emotionally unstable and for a while they get you so flustered too that like you don't even know your words oh my god and then for a while it's like is it me i got into a relationship where i was in a relationship where i had to record what he would say to me in arguments because whenever I would react he would say I didn't say that and I finally got to a point where I was like yes you did and I would hit play and then have to and then

that's when that was the the beginning of the end because I wouldn't let him manipulate and lie anymore right right it's really sick with right these people yeah I wish I was smart enough for that I just got to a point where I just wish I was smart enough for that because I would be like wait like you you did X Y and Z this is why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling and then he'll be like well you have to let it go and at one point no he wanted to get to disrespect me he wanted me to get back with him like this man will camp out at my house and in front of my kids beg for me back that to this day my daughter's a little confused and she kind of blames me like like you broke up with daddy that's why i don't have a daddy at in my house and he would literally

be on his knees like please just take me back look at our kids kids look at our family please i'll do whatever it takes and then he'll go to sapphire sapphire tell mommy not to break up with me and she'll just be there like come on mommy let's be you know like he knows all those like those times in my living room how he would literally and and it's it's sick because even in the video that he used on two youtube he used with his sister being the fool to fulfillment. There's a clip where he shows my daughter hysterically crying how she doesn't want to come back home to my house. And it's sick because it's like, you know why she's crying. So can we- She knows she's not going to see you for a long time because she's used to it

already. Therefore, she doesn't want to leave you. She's obsessed with her daddy and he does not give her an opportunity to really have time with him. So anyway, it's been back and forth of him just for three years of him just trying to get back with me on numerous occasions. It's, it's, I will start dating. He'll get wind. And next thing you know, it's him sending me videos of him playing with himself, watching our old scenarios. And then it's him pouring his heart out to me. I'm sorry.

and it's like, you know I'm talking to someone right now. You know what I'm saying? Because it's like, I've been trying to move on with my life for a long time. But any time he finds out that I'm like dating someone, it's him coming back, buying jewelry or, you know, acting like he's coming to pick up the kids. And then for him not, and then he doesn't leave. You know what I mean? Or, you know, and that's really what it comes down to now that.

You know, in May of this year, I had enough. I had enough, enough, enough. I'm the reason why we haven't been together in that way. Because the person, the person, that I became okay there's just so much to unfold with this but um I think you're doing a great job there's just so much to talk about it's just people need to hear your truth I was on a date last year oh let's talk about this the type of shit I deal with that triggers me let's go back to the triggering part he was using this Miami girl

character for a storyline um which he confessed he only did because he wanted to prove to me that he didn't need me to be on love and hip hop so anyway he decides to kind of fake like this miami girl character that's on miami loving hip hop miami and um at that time he was about six months behind purposely in paying child support now mind you I'm still on loving hip hop at this point, but I have the kids. He's on loving hip hop in Miami, and he's only 30 minutes away. He wasn't using his weekly parenting time, and he was months, at least at this time, he was like six months behind on paying child support.

Anywho, I'm thugging in. I'm flying with the kids to him from Miami to Atlanta to film and, you know, kind of do my what I'm contractually binded to do. Next to you know it goes viral. He's buying this chick's kids, Rolexes.

He's literally deliberately buying another man's children Rolexes. And has this whole drawn, they have this whole drawn-out birthday party for these kids, right? Mind you, this man is six months, right? Behind on child support.

Hasn't seen the kids. is indulging in this whole storyline that he even admitted he was just doing so that he can prove that he didn't need me to be on love and hip hop in general. He also said that they've never even had sex, right? Girl, that whole, like, I don't know who's worse, him or her

when it comes to that whole scenario. Like, she's just as desperate as he is because I'd be damned if a man who doesn't even have real intentions for me is going to be using my kids as some, like, as some, as some, I don't even know what you call it, but it's sick on her part. Yeah, like pawns.

Like as a mom, you're allowing your kids first birthday to be a staged scenario so that it could look like this man is about you when really, in reality, isn't attracted to you. You know what I'm saying? Like, anyway, so it goes viral. of course I'm going to say something. You haven't seen your kids and how much and you're purposely not paying your child support on time to spite me, to financially, you know,

be an asshole is what you're trying to do. Right. So things like that, he does to trigger me. Right. I'm just saying, I don't understand how people can't see that he's poking the bear. And even when I was pregnant, he was dating the to me version of me, right?

For Valentine's Day, he fills up this girl's, small little apartment with flowers, the same thing he used to do with me, didn't bring pamper's. Like literally, when I fought for divorce, buying pamper's, buying clothes, none of this was being done.

So when you know your kid's father financially can buy extravagant gifts for these random women after you just had two of his kids back to back and he doesn't even drop off a box of pamper's who in their right mind is not going to put that on child support that's the reason why Safari is on child support because when I filed for divorce

he never once thought for a second let me drop off pamphers let me see if the kids need clothes what do the kids need in general never never asked what these kids needed so I knew if it was like this already it was going to get worse. And it did. So therefore, when it was time to finalize our divorce, I made it mandatory that child support was implemented. My first kid father wasn't on child support, but he also did what the fuck he had to do. But which is not a bad

thing. That's why child support is implemented in the court system. Yeah, but as long as you're not, if this man, fuck if we're together or not. These kids are your kids. If he was riding for these kids, the way he rides for whatever woman he's fucking on for the moment, we would be so good. Because regardless to what you there are baby mamas out there that don't have to talk shit

or say anything about their baby daddies. Why? Because they do what the fuck they have to do. There are baby mamas that live a good life of not having to talk ill on their baby daddies whatsoever because these men are doing what they have to do. Not all, but a lot of them do.

I don't consider you talking ill. You're telling the truth. so are you not allowed to speak your truth in order to save his reputation? And that's what it's been and that's why so like a crock of shit how everyone's like

oh he's been quiet for so long he's been quiet for so long because he cannot deny anything I have said about him up until him randomly now having this new YouTuber found urge where he can edit

shit that he started and stirred up you know what I'm And let's talk about these videos. Can we bring up these videos, Mimi, that we have of Erica climbing over the fence. That's my girl. Climbing over the fence. And then also like trying to get into his house.

And then the only thing I didn't agree with in here. And I understand that this is where your rage is coming from is the babies are seeing all of this. Yeah. That one, yes. So let's. Okay. So let's break this down. Yeah.

what's happening in this clip right here okay so pause because i'm going to get to that yeah um keep that there because i want to show you i want to tell you this goal this goes along with the um climbing the fence so anyway that first initial video um i had went to his house to pick up the kids i had just came back from a work trip um came to pick up the kids um prior to getting there he was telling me how he finally had some money for me. So at one of the moments of him trying to get back with me, he came up with this idea of putting the kids in some type of schooling daycare, right, so that we could have more time together to fix things and build on us without the kids being around.

I fell for it. So I did my homework and I ended up finding a Montessori school. Me and him went to the Montessori school, checked it out together. the lady told us how much it cost he agreed to take on that expense come time to pay the school safari had the nerve to tell me i pay child support take it out of that so here i am now left with this newfound expense that i wasn't prepared prepared to take on but this is the route you want to go you fucking cheap motherfucker no problem oh you pay for it in child support mind you I mean, I didn't even give the breakdown of that.

But anyway, cool. No, please do. Spare us no detail, please. So anyway, I've been taking on this new expense of the kids going to this Montessori school on my own after he told me he would take this on. Now, he did this because this is around the time, like after, when it was time for him to pay up, I wasn't trying to fuck on him. So anytime I'm not trying to fuck on him. anything he said he was going to do he ain't doing um him seeing the kids it's not even a question like if i'm not trying to fuck on him or ignore what he did and and kind of you know go with the

flow and just act like we're getting back together that's always his MO he doesn't he won't he won't do anything extra outside of child support and he's damn sure not picking up these kids that's just what it's been from from the jump so anyway I get to the house and he's telling me, I got a surprise for you. And I'm like, what is it? And he tells me he has the money for the school. For the school. I get there.

I did take a nap, right? I get, because I live like 30, 40 minutes away. Mind you know, just like I said, it just landed. I'm exhausted, so I take a little nap. I get up. And next to you know, he tells me how he, wants to talk. I'm like, okay, let's talk.

He found out that I had a guy that I was hanging out with when I was on my work trip. So his initial was like, oh so

this is what we're doing? Like, I'm over here with the kids and I'm trying to make things better and I'm just like, the call is coming from the side that happened. I'm like to get there. So anyway, I'm like, how does it feel?

I'm like, leave me alone. So anyway, it's, he starts to get in his feelings. And then he goes, you know what? Why don't you ask him to give you the money. I was going to give you the money. Oh, God. That started the argument.

And then from there, him saying other nasty shit. So that initial, sadly, whatever, And they just happen to be recording at this moment. Well, he has cameras in his house. Okay. What are the coincidence that now he wants to fuck with me and provoke me while I'm at his house, right?

So he starts to, you know, say how he's not paying for it. And at that point, I'm not going to lie. I was set off because I'm carrying this expense that I did not inquire. Now, mind you, this was that was this year. That was in May. The first one where the shit is going down, that was in May. right okay um i got fired from love and hip hop because he started a fabricated nasty story and was gossiping to me about another cast member me and that cast member got into it i said

something that you know she she went low i went to hell and for that i lost my job so he is the reason, the big reason why I lost my job. But anyway, this is that, this is that year. This is this year. You're also carrying years of just hurt. Yeah, but my whole thing is, you know I just lost my job. Yeah. One of my main incomes. You owe me this money because you're the one that wanted to put them into this facility. Right. You literally are in your feelings every time I don't want to fuck on you. So you refused to give me the money that you said you would pay for these kids. So now I'm taking on

an expense that I did not originally I wasn't prepared for. And I just lost my job because of you. Now here I am at the house to pick up the kids. You get when I'm talking to someone or I was with someone the night before.

Now you're saying you're not giving me the money you owe me. Right. I'm off. Yeah. I am ticked off. So I'm telling him, I'm like, explain to me what's going like explain to me why you're not going to give me this money you're the reason why so i want answers he's mr not confrontation confrontation he knew telling me that he wasn't going to give me that money was going to set me off he knew that and then for the and it did so what did he

he was going to call the cops on me so what you see there is me first of all i'm pissed off you owe me that money you owe me that money it's like a couple of like a good 10 bands that you owe me, okay? He still owes me that money to this day. But anyway, and it's even more now because it's been that long. So you tell me you're going to pay me this money. Mind you, this man has no problem buying himself jewelry. This man has no problem buying random women that he's sleeping with jewelry.

He just bought Selena Pal jewelry. Did he? On his YouTube, I just saw, I mean, I didn't watch the video because I wasn't giving him the views, but that's the title of it. his, she said, let me not, let me not set you off. I don't even care. I mean, at this point, I'm so used to it. Yeah. Like, just a couple

of months ago, he gifted the Miami girl a necklace and I only seen that because that was viral. Right. You know what I'm saying? It's like it's sick. It's like so this particular video like I said, he taunted me with this money

then says he's not going to pay for it. Then I'm asking him to explain to me why. He's starts to, you know, call the cops, I'm just over it, B. And yes, that was completely wrong of me. And I take accountability for that. And that's the first and only time that has ever happened in front of my kids, which is why my kids literally followed me out. Yeah. They're not scared of me. They've never seen me ever act like that in front of them, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. It's never been that way. And how he's trying to,

trying to make it seem like this have never you can my kids are proof that they have never been around that and then in any kind of way right you know did I lose my shit absolutely because enough is enough you're literally you you you're the reason why I lost my job and here you are owing me all this money for something you you inquired about and you like this was your idea to put them into the school. You said you were going to pay for it. And because I'm not fucking on you the way and going about things, the way you wanted to be,

now you don't want to pay what you said you were going to pay. So it set me the fuck off. And then him having the nerve, now you want to call the cops on me? You want to call the cops on me? And I have a video where I'm filming him myself. So what you see there is I'm not trying to, I'm not putting my hands on.

I'm trying to get the phone from him. So I could speak to the cops myself. Because at that point, enough is enough. Enough is enough. But you know what's so crazy and sick about it all is a week after that happened, guess who's calling me again, begging to be back with me. And once again, sending me videos of him playing with himself, watching videos of us that he has, how much he misses me.

So a week after that happened, the sick bastard was back trying to get back with me. No problem. whacking off in videos he if you if you've ever dealt with this man i don't think i would want to in any kind of way every girl that's ever dealt with him gets those videos it's and i know that because i love and hip-hop miami i seen a clip one time the girl is outing him in front of the chick oh no talking about he sent me this video of him jerking himself and i'm like he's just a whack-a-mole he literally just he loves video he loves he loves he loves himself he loves recording himself oil up oh the visual he's oiled up no abs out no and for days it's his thing so any woman and

I know any woman that's ever dealt with him is does he have the fur coat on that's all I want to know and any of them I've never received them with fur coats but maybe another woman has but that's just his MO but with me in particular it would be his laptop open with videos of me that I've even sent him in the past you know because he's like he's one of those people like loves my tits so it's like send me a video with your tits in your tongue out

imagine how many other girls videos he has like that oh I know first of all he has cameras all over his house so that any woman he sleeps with now he has on camera oh gosh it's just an automatic M.O. Isn't that like that's a charge isn't it? I mean I'm well if you ever go

to his house and you're busting it open just know there's cameras I mean he can legally have cameras in his house yeah absolutely but so that's how he probably gets away with it but um i mean there's even been time yeah oiled up yeah oiled up and a week late mind you i'm on vacation i'm in toulm living my best life and i fall for it again Erica what the fuck okay listen i can blame him for some stuff but now i'm gonna start you know why it's it's he is so good crazy man has got you fired from your jobs He has made you look like a fucking fool numerous times.

What? And you just keep going back. Because it's the way he pours his heart out. And it's like even though you know he at this point, I know he has no heart and it's still. You know what it is too? It's like I didn't have these kids to be by myself. I've already been down that road. Yeah.

So I think for a while up until May where I got and I'll get into that where I actually was just like enough is enough. Yeah. I still had hope that he would just get his shit together. That he would change. That he would change. I get that. All of us women get that. Oh my God.

It's like we are so like our connection. Look what he was. He was talking to a fucking cake. Claiming that our connection was that because it is. It was. It was that deep. You know what I'm saying? Like when a man devours you.

and your fluids and everything that comes with you it's like how can you not believe it I don't see this man do and drink and everything of me how can I not believe him right is that he and I but genuinely love him I did I did

so that video is like are you still in love with Safari no do you have love for him okay I don't have love for him anymore, and here's why. In May, after that whole thing happened, a week goes by, he's coming back. I came back from Tulum, and I indulge in him. And this is all in May now. Two days later, I get a call from one of his friends.

Well, actually a DM, and they asked me to call them. And it's actually a friend that he hangs out with to this day in Florida. And they called me with pure intentions. And I say this because this person is very close to him now, and this person is a stand-up guy. doesn't get into the mess. But he's a good guy you can tell because of the way he moves, how he is with his own family, so on and so forth.

And he reached out to me and said, listen, I think it's fair that you know because I don't think it's fair at what is being done. And I'm like, what's going on? Lord. I know he's been trying to get back with you. and he's been telling me that this time is for real

and that he really, and I've been vouching for him like with it. Like I think he should make things right for him. But now I'm getting nervous and I feel like you should know before you get caught up again. And I'm like getting nervous about what?

So apparently he started bragging to this particular friend that he met this 20 year old girl that he's very interested in because quote-unquote, she doesn't know who he is, and that because she's not in the industry, it will be easy for him to kind of tell her what he wants her to know and still be able to do what he wants to do.

And Bunny, I instantly became so disgusted. it was the reality check that I needed after all this time and what's so sick about it is that no matter after everything this fucking man put me through it was the fact that I am now being informed that this man is now going after girls that are the same age as his niece his baby niece and he's you are a 43 year old man and now you're going after this 20 year old girl because you know she doesn't know no better and because what you can now manipulate her because she's not in the industry so what that means you could tell her whatever it is

you want to tell her she'll believe you and she'll play her position if she's into you enough or if you love bomb her enough and you could still do what you have to do. So that means basically you're here trying to quote unquote every other week trying to get your family back, but you also now have this agenda to go after a girl that doesn't know no better, a 20-year-old girl. You know what that means? That means, look what he did to me and I'm in my 30s. I can't even imagine what he's about to do

to a girl that's in her 20s that doesn't know any better. Right then and there, I got sick to my stomach and I realized that the person that I am, that I became in that very moment, has to change everything moving forward. Like, I'm the change. Like, I am the one that's, like, in order for this, because there's no changing him.

All he's going to do is break me apart, keep setting me off, using the fact that I love him to the core to chip away at me, to make me feel like there's something wrong with me every chance he gets. And that all he cares about is his next victim. And now there's no limits,

Because now you're going after a girl that just started life. She has no idea. At 20 years old, she has no idea what your kind is. And I just became sick because it was like he has a niece that he has been around for, you know, a baby niece that is the same age as this girl that now he's, he was bragging that he's going to be pursuing. And that's when I realized I'm like This is first not going to get any better too He does need help And the help that he needs

I'm not sticking around I have to help myself now to get over this And do what I have to do for these two babies On top of that I have a daughter So does he You know what it made me think about like imagine some guy going after my daughter at 20 years old

because she's not in the industry and she won't know any better. So this friend actually saved my life. Shout out to the homie. Shoutouts to the home and he still rose with him to this day. This is the first time. I'm sorry if I try to be selective in my words so he won't know who you are.

But he put me on to game. He's like he's going after this 20 year old girl. And it's funny because, Because not too long ago, I was tagged in a blog where you see him pulling this young girl that looks like she's 15. It could be the 20-year-old. I'm guessing it is because that was in May, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December. Yeah, it probably is her.

But she looks like a child. A child. And in my mind, I'm like, now that is this pervert. like you're perverted you're fucking sick yeah well i think that might you have time yeah it's like that might trigger your childhood trauma also because that might have been what fucking yeah what happened to you oh my god when i tell you i just got instantly gross i can't handle when out yeah when men are tricks are like and i'm not saying that he's tricking off on her but that's my thing oh girl i'm sure he's tricking off on her ever tricked off on a girl and like if they're

young and it's like that's such a weird thing well it's funny you say the trick off part because this same friend told me how he he because i was just like this is insane i was on the phone with him for like an hour and i'm like you know what's so sad is like he runs through these women and every time he gets a woman he like buys them jewelry right like that's his thing right i'm like he's never bought his own daughter a pair earrings no a pair the diamond earrings my daughter and he's mr jewelry connoisseur my son doesn't have a chain on his neck from his daddy my daughter doesn't even have a pair of earrings in her ears from her daddy.

But yet, apparently he bought that girl, a pair of diamond earrings, claiming that she brings him more peace than his daughter does, which is fucking weird. What? That he's quoted saying that?

The friend told me this. Oh, my goodness. Because I was like, why is it that he, every time he finds a new broad, he gets them, like, what is the tricking on the broad or someone else's kids?

Like, what is that? He's just like, I don't know. But what he said, he said to me not to long ago that he had a pair of earrings for Sapphire, but he ended up giving it to the girl because she brings him more peace. And I'm just like, this is just, it's twilight zone. Like, people will never believe me. But being that this person wants to paint this narrative so it can deadbeat in peace, this is why I'm like, I'm like, fuck it.

Let's just talk about it. Well, this man is really a menace to society. sick yeah like he's genuinely not a good human like that's a bad spirit sick to hurt somebody like this and his that's why it took so right let's talk about the situation with you climbing the ladder yes because when you told me this story it made complete sense to me i was like absolutely i would have done the same fucking thing so okay i'm gonna tell you the story and then i want you to go to me hopping the ladder and then i want you to come back to this if you can okay so i had a night off he has the kids

I'm in carbone with this football player that I was dating mind you this latter thing was done last year the other the first one where I'm going crazy because of the schooling stuff that was done this year that was in May early May

this right here is last year he's on loving hip hop so called going after another woman right I'm living my life I start dating this football player really into him at the time

he comes to town just to take me to carbone and I go as you should right now obviously I know this information later on this particular information but he got win someone at Carbone that knows him

tells him I'm at Carbone does he have a tracker on you no but he knows a lot of people okay because I feel like he just knows everything so like in Atlanta he got win because of someone from production because I brought the guy

like it was like after set I kind of left with the guy so anyway this particular time um i'm at carbone i'm leaving he gets win from someone that was there that i was there now i get dropped off at home and i just started dating this guy so i wasn't going home with him but you know that's my business i get home like maybe one something in the morning i jump in the shower i'm getting ready for bed no kids i get a call from him legend just fell off the bed and he's bleeding wait what yeah he fell off the bed and he's bleeding from where now i know the kids have a bunk bed in his house but i know he doesn't use the top bunk so in my head i'm like how did he fall i'm like trying to figure out like so i'm like where's he

bleeding from he goes i don't know i don't know i'll call you right back okay 10 minutes go by he doesn't call me back so as a mother i'm like i start calling him what the fuck's going on is he okay at least at least tell me he's okay he doesn't pick up i called him numerous times back to back to back to back it's not picking up so at that point i'm like i'll just go over there like what the fuck like i'm just going to go over there so i drive over there now mind you he lives in a gated community you cannot get into this community unless you're let in by the residents They let me in. Okay?

I get to the door, and as you can see, I have pajamas on. I was about to go to bed. I have my sports bra, I put some biker shorts on, you know, whatever. Like, I was literally about to call it a night. I get to the door. I'm ringing the bell. No one answers. He has a transparent kind of door.

I see him walking back and forth. Like he's looking, right? doesn't answer the door. So at that point, I'm like, this is fucking crazy. I'm like, all the things that are going in my mind, I'm like, this motherfucker sees him at the door. Now, I know so far he has glass, all his backyard is all glass. So I'm like, I'm going to go to the back to look through

and see what the fuck's going on. That gate was locked. He just so happened to be getting work done on his house at this time. This was last year. The convenience of the ladder. The ladder was literally there waiting for me. It said, climb me. Like, the fact that people think I drove a ladder,

I rode with a ladder. Because I'm not going to lie, the comments, I'm just like, are people that stupid, but they are. Common sense is not so common. He was actually getting work done on his house. Right. So the ladder was there. There was fucking tools there.

The ladder was there. The gate was locked. This motherfucker, after calling to tell me my son fell from the bed and is bleeding is not answering the door. Mind you, he let me into the community. So at that point, I'm just like, what the fuck is going on? Right. Why is he? But I see him walking back and forth.

And at that point, as much as I probably should have known, this motherfucker was playing with me, I wasn't. I was just more concerned at what the fuck's going on. Why is he saying my kid? I'm a bear. So the ladder was there. I used the ladder to hop the fence. I did. That's a fucking G move.

That's a G move, right? Like, I would do the same thing. You tell me my kid. Now go to the part that I told you before, the other second part. I get to the back. Can you zoom into my face? I am concerned. I am confused.

I am trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. this is you knocking on the door right this is me knocking he's trying to and it's funny because he's been circulating like joe but didn't even mention this video on his podcast so far he's been sending people this video since it happened joking about it in the set and mind you everyone he has sent this video to but prior to him doing this youtube has gotten a different story on why but i mean it's the nicky minage thing one exactly one person he told us I was trying, I think he even said in this video that I was trying to break into his house, I think.

Yeah, he said it was trying. Mind you, if someone is breaking into your house, why wouldn't you call the cops? Why would you let them in from your gate, gargated community? You know, like this. Look at my face. Can you zoom in anymore?

I am stressed. I'm concerned. I am not mad. I am not raging. I am trying. I am confused and concerned. and that it's clearly written all over my fucking face. My eyebrow is literally touching my fucking hairline.

Can you believe this bastard comes to the door finally? Literally, you're crazy, you really came here? And laughing at me. Laughing at me. You're crazy. You really came here? That's the stuff I was talking about, like, triggering. Yeah.

that would set me off. I'd have been like, you just called me and said, our son split his head open and is bleeding. Like, what, and didn't answer the phone. I thought he was going to the hospital.

Purposely didn't answer the phone because he knows my mind starts, first of all, my kid, he knew exactly what to say. I really now know. He got when I was at Carbone, wanted to fuck up my night so I couldn't get none, which is probably what he was thinking,

which is why he waited to call me at the time he called me, thinking I was probably late. up with the dude and decided to tell me that then knew telling me that will have my mind going which is why he didn't pick up then he obviously gets alerted by his gate that I'm at the gate oh I got her she's here now fucked up her night purposely didn't let me into the gate because he wanted me to lose my shit but I didn't lose my shit the gate of his house yeah they let me into the gate they called him to let me into the you cannot go where into this man's residence without being let in by the guard gate.

He is in a gated community. You cannot go into this man's gate unless he lets you in. Okay, so now here we are. May, I find out about the 20-year-old girl. Right. Okay. He calls me, now I'm not letting him know what I know. I just told him basically, enough is enough.

Like, I can't do this. You're a pervert. I was kind of like telling him without telling him. I was calling him all the P-words in the book. Like, clearly you're a pervert. clearly you're this and you got weird fucking you got more you got more issues than you got sex you got you're a sex addict first and foremost you are pervert um you literally do nothing but manipulate and fuck with me you fucking toy with the fact that I love you and you

beg me to be with you every fucking chance you get then you bounce around from woman to woman you know what I mean like you disregard these kids when I'm not fucking on you You purposely try to make financial fucking burdens for me by not helping me outside of the little bit of money you do pay. Because honestly, his child support is calculated off of if he was taking his kids once a week the way he's supposed to. He's not. My child care just to work, which is why sometimes I bring them, or a lot of times,

I bring my kids to set and I still have to pay. But it's not as much because I'm kind of still there. When I, if I have to leave, let's say, to do a movie, like doing stepmother was two weeks. One of the, one of the, because we break it down, two weeks. Can you imagine leaving your kids for two weeks, two kids, what that child care cost? Around the clock, it's a lot of money. So you purposely, and then what we do for a living, I have to, and even with flying with the kids, I got to pay for my flight, their flight, you know, the food, I got to make them get a hotel that is, you know, a comedy.

for kids that you know you can't do no cheap shit you know not saying that i would but you got to get a a place to stay that's accommodating to your kids big enough space all of that shit costs yeah all of that shit costs and then on set even with me being on set i have to pay for someone so anyway for what i do for a living what he does for a living he knows that it adds up so i had this conversation with him i'm like you know what the fuck you're doing i can't do it you're a pee you're a perver you're sick in the head you you know he and i'm sure with our last conversation he got the memo he will never be able to fuck on me or with me again and in that conversation i even brought up i'm like i'm so sick of the fact that you pick and choose when to be a father and the fact that your family doesn't even

try to do their part when it comes to these kids you know what the hell this man said how could they you're their mother. Bunny, that set me off right then and there that I literally went into my phone, found his mother's number, and he talks about that in the YouTube too as well. And I sent her a message with proof of him in my home that very week. Remember, I told you, that whole incident that we went, I went off on him because of the school stuff. I broke shit in his house. Like, I just had enough.

I was just like, whatever. That was in May, right? A couple of days later, the homie called me. No, sorry, that was in May. That happened. A week later, we're back to whatever, right? Because he was sending me all the messages. I got back, whoops back in, right?

Two days later, after me being swarmed in, after a week of that happening, we get together. I'm swarmed back in. Two days later, the homie calls me with that day. information about him dating a 20-year-old girl that he's bragging on how he's so excited because she's not in the industry and she doesn't know any better and he can kind of tell her what he needs to tell her and still do what he needs to do that's literally his words i could tell her what i need to tell her and still do what i need to do him telling me how can his family do their

part for my kids because i'm their mother i knew right then and there even though i always knew it just was like a real like confirmation he's playing two sides absolutely he's kissing and trying to fuck on me and get back with me quote unquote but telling his family something else oh yeah so i text his mother quote unquote i figured since i know your son is such a liar and since he knows and since i know he lies on me all the time to you and your daughter just figure i informed you of him being up in my house last week. Isn't it ironic how he paints me out to be such a hateful monster, but yet won't leave me alone?

And in that, I show video of him in my home camera. Which you've never gone on YouTube and posted these. This is what he, but he discusses how I disrespecting his mother and sent her inappropriate photos of him, nobody. I sent her proof where you be at. Okay? Because you lie to her and say one thing. And it's crazy because the mother is the enabler and the sister's the cheerleader.

Right. So really it's like what I did was I opened up the floodgates to the truth on the lies you're telling them. Right. So I clarified things because you're you're painting this to be one way with them. But yeah, you're really consistently, since we got divorce, every single other week, you're begging, trying to get back with me. Eight months ago, you just went on a, you went on and did a whole interview.

Not only did you praise me as a mother, but you were literally said you wanted to eventually, publicly that you see us being back together and the right time and all this shit and all of that. Now all of a sudden, you didn't get enough excitement with your, you know, taunting your ex at her concert. What's up next?

Now you all of a sudden want to tell the your truth, your truth on why you're being a baby daddy. Isn't it convenient? I just find it like, oh, now all of a sudden it's convenient for you to speak on all the truth I've been telling. Yeah. So you took your time to edit this 30 minute video using videos of me from separate occasions too. From separate occasions. Yeah. Not telling the truth behind what led to this and why this was that just so you can deadbeat in peace and that's his agenda because now that he's a YouTuber and he can't fuck on me anymore

he takes that out on me by not coming around for the kids and what happens if you're YouTubeing every day people are going to start inquiring why your kids are never with you right yeah does nobody can nobody like put the pieces together like it makes me sad like these blogs like even when I was doing research for this podcast a lot of these blogs like side with him and like oh it makes perfect sense and Erica and you know why because he's what's happening he this is what he's doing he's using my reputation to now paint this picture on why he chooses to be a deadby but this is that your actions even

after he dropped these you did it so gee dude and like normally you would have flown off the handle and like gone to defend yourself and this time you were just like you know what do you know why because i knew the time would come where i can actually speak on it and i knew i would do it before the year was out i just i sat with it with god and i was just like um i need to tell my truth and i know you know i need to tell my truth because of who i am and because this narrative being so false could be damaging to my future my career you know what i'm saying um so i sat with it with god and i was just like I'm not going to speak on anything.

I did a little bit, but then I was just like, there's so much to unpack with this that doing it off of, like it's not going to make sense. Right. So, and literally, like, you DMs me and it was just, oh, God.

No, for real. It was like, okay, this is what I'm going to do. This is it. Because I can sit with a credible woman that's been through it, that understands what's up. A lot of women have been through this.

And in your podcast, resonates to an audience that isn't fucking a male-dominated hip-hop scene. That, but it's like your viewers and like the people who tune into you aren't fucking stupid. And I know that because of the shit you talk about. They're so compassionate.

And the way your podcast has been able to expand and grow the way, it's obvious because the people are tuning everything you speak on and how you speak and it resonates it's credible it's it's real shit you know place for people to come and tell their truth with the no judgment and with people I'm so blessed to have a following that these women are going to just wrap themselves they're going to wrap their arms around you like and we've all been through some fucked up shit like it's like it's like I'm not saying I'm perfect I would take full accountability I'm fucking you know This man has been able to trigger me.

This man has been able to break me. This man, and I take full accountability because no matter how much he's violated, disrespecting me, embarrassed me, he's left me for dead from the time my son was born until now. I still took him back so many times. I engaged in sexual acts. I accepted the gifts. I believed him because I was desperate in sense of I wanted still the idea of my kids to have a two-parent household, but this is where I want people to kind of come together and put two

and two together and realize what the fuck. If I wasn't allowing this man to see his kids, why is it that he's taking me to court for everything but to see his kids? He is now suing me for defamation and a whole bunch of other fucking stupid and merit shit. He's taking me to court right now also because he wants to modify his child support. he literally leaked his own court papers, which triggered me right before this got leaked. He leaked his papers, his lawyer papers,

and he had the nerve to put in there that he sees, he has the kids more than me. And because he's no longer on love and hip hop, he doesn't make that much money. So obviously he's a YouTuber now. But I fell for the bait because when that went out,

when he put his whole, court papers out, people were coming at me like, oh, why is she making it seem like he never sees the kids if he's claiming he has them more? I literally posted the calendar of, yes. So next to you know, people are going at him like, oh, you only seen your kids 16 times. That I felt for the bait, which led him to do this. He's so calculated and his agenda is very clear. It's just people love to hate me being the bad guy that this is

where, you know what I'm saying? This kind of became as big as it was where people actually believe this shit. Yeah. Because the truth is, like I said, if I was keeping these kids from him, first of all, he has court ordered parenting time since 2022. Yeah.

He's supposed to get them three days one week, four days and next week. It's supposed to be rotating, rotating, rotating. He doesn't do it. Why? Because he claims the kids school is too far and he'll be he doesn't want to drive two hours every day to get the kids where i where he picked the school for the kids to go is 30 minutes away from him right so picking them up and dropping them off every day would be a two hour drive every day he claims he's not doing that then if i'm not fucking on him on those other days that he could be picking them up which is the

weekends it makes my life complicated right it's less it's hard for me to date it's hard for me to maneuver and work and do this without me having to pay. He also knows I lost one of my main incomes, thanks to him. So therefore, money is probably not as much as it used to be. So keeping the kids on my tab all the time adds up. So he's calculated in every fucking way. If I'm not engaging in him fucking on me, these kids don't see him.

And even that, he'll get them. purposely not brush their hair, purposely dress them fucking looking crazy, all of these things because he knows I take pride, just like I, he would take pride in how he dresses, I take pride in how I dress. Therefore, what do you not take pride in when it comes to your kids? Absolutely. He will have my kids walking around looking like, like, yeah, but yet he can be in tip top shape. So it's like he doesn't just do things to set me off. he does things out of spite all the time all the time after being through all of this with him how is your heart how are you right now um you know what i'm a lot better yeah believe it or not

this coming out set me free for real for real i love that because i'm like look how far he will go like he hasn't gone far or not he hasn't gone far or not enough to break me and bring me down. But now you want to publicly make me be this person that you know that I'm not. Because in and you and I know this to be a fact, he wants to make sure that I don't flourish in my career anymore. He's not succeeding. I'm doing movies now.

Right. I've been blessed now I have my dating show with Zeus that comes out that's top of this year. Let's talk about it. because no matter what this man has done to you. He did this, right, to stop all of that. And so he can YouTube and be a deadbeat in peace. Right. That's what this agenda is for.

That's his motive. This is all that. This set me free because now I'm able to do this. Yeah. And you have been flourishing. I feel like I've been sparing him a lot. And the truth is, the truth. I am not perfect. I have taken this man back on numerous occasions. I have allowed him

to fucking provoke me where I wig the fuck out. I have allowed him to use, you know, my weaknesses against me because he knows when we got married, that was the one thing. When he kept begging me for kids, I don't want to be a single mother. He left me for dead with two kids on purpose because he knows that's one of my biggest like fears yes but now i can tell my fucking story for real yeah on who he is and what i've been through and not carry it in to 20 and not carry it in like he just set me free because now like he does with nicky he often tries to chime in well he's definitely going to come forward after this podcast comes out. I mean, if he comes forward,

it's because he's desperate for more clout. That's just who he is. And he'll ride the wave and just know that. Don't let him trigger you. He can't. Okay. I'm so like now that I, especially now about the ladder because it's been like such a and I,

I'm able to laugh at it now because it's like, damn, he really fucking set me up for this. You stupid fucking bitch. You allow this fucking clown to really like play with you. you like this. But this just set me free because now I can tell the truth on all of this shit. Farmer always comes back around. And, you know, before I

close out this conversation, it's like the proof is in the pudding. If this man was being, if his kids were being withheld from him seeing his kids, he would be in court for that. He's not in court for any of the bud. In fact, also taking you to court for defamation. Then he's also after putting this shit out on me. He's

trying to sue me. Oh! When I was shooting the the zoo show he put out he was trying to get a restraining order on me mind you i was in i was in california for like a month and a half shooting my my dating show he got wind that i was shooting the dating show and it was for real going like going down this man had the audacity to try to get a restraining order on me why so that in the middle of shooting i had to stop find a lawyer pay a lawyer to now respond to this and defend myself with this quote-unquote restraining order.

So it's like when I tell you there's so much behind-the-scenes shit that I've been dealing with this man and if you guys want to believe it's exhausting. It's so exhausting. Because if people really want to believe that I don't want to break every week

and that I don't have to pay for with my kids going with their dad, you've got to be out your fucking rabbit-ass mind. Yeah. A free break, three days, one week, four days the next week, bring it on. Come pick up these fucking kids. And then he also tells on himself too

And another thing, he's like, I refuse to go to her house Stupid, your kids go to school every fucking day That's how much he has You have video of him in your house But exactly He doesn't want to come to my house because he can't fuck on me anymore Is the real deal Yeah

He can't drink my fluids and fucking devour me The way he is obsessively loves to anymore But he can pick his kids up at school but doesn't do that because he doesn't want to drive the two hours every day. So there you go. Let's move on from Safari though and talk about this dating thing because even though Safari has put you through all of this fucking bullshit, he has literally tried everything he can to just fucking bring you down and like I just could never imagine a man wanting to.

Oh, did I tell you how he was DMing the football player too? No, you did not. But it doesn't fucking surprise me. Like what is going on with this man? It's been, when I tell you people, like, what was he DMing the football player? I guess he wanted to tell him that, like, so I'm dating this guy talking to him, but he still was kind of coming at me. He got, this is the guy that I was at Carbone with.

He found out who it was and starts DMing him, talking about he had stuff to tell him. What? Okay. Do you want to see it? Yes, I would love to see it. If people don't see that he's the problem, then. I just, after this podcast, if I see another blog about you being the problem here, I'm going to probably lose my mind.

I mean, and like I say, I'll take accountability, babe. I'm not going to say I'm innocent because I'm not. I get it. But one thing's for sure, it does take two to tango. And trust me, the sex, our sexual chemistry is so, like, bomb that it was hard for me to let go. But at the same time. You guys also have a trauma bond, too. So that makes everything so 10 times more intense.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, yes. So look, this is... Hold on, let me get the bifocals on.

He said... So this was after he had me hopped the fence. He got wind. Okay, so he found out... So they just told him that I was there with a guy. But once he found out it was a football player. And this football player, when I tell you, is fine, does the day... He said, what up?

Let me know when you see this. trying to send you some info just want to make sure you're the right person so yeah he basically every time i'm ready to move on or i've moved on like this man can't take it so it's like if i'm all of this if i'm this crazy let's just say like that why haven't you been to court to get your kids away from me for one for two why haven't you gone to court because i'm keeping your kids from you like why it's just an abusive relationship there's just so much that i just wish people were smart enough to see i think and i will say there's a lot of celebrity women reached out to me like big name women that were like listen what you did is nothing compared to what x y and z made me do and it's like

you'd be surprised how many men and it's not i'm saying it's right but men literally purposely antagonize provoke women and then when they lose their shit it's like she's crazy she's this she's this that they never tell the whole story it's reactive abuse and that's part of controlling the narrative if he can't control you he wants to control what people think about you

and after this podcast if people can't see what's going on here especially now that you're distancing yourself from him and saying hey you know what no more yeah just let this dude crash out Like, I would never let this man touch me again. I mean, he's going to crash out on his own. I mean, he's crashing out already.

So moving on from Safari, though, and no matter what this man has done to you, you have literally just risen from the ashes like a fucking the phoenix that you are. You have done this your entire life. It seems like to be a theme for your life. Like, no matter what fucking adversity's life throws at you. Yeah. I don't know how. I really have like 10 lives. I would say nine, but I think.

No, you always. I have a couple lives on me. I'm telling you, you always come back full force. And now you have a dating show coming out on Zeus. Tell me all about this. I'm super excited about that. I feel like this show, I mean, it's definitely Zeus, so it's crazy, it has its elements. But what I love about it is that Lemmy and LJ let me create a format where I still gave them Zeus.

But I wanted to tap in and show how fun and sexy and wild, you know, being a bisexual woman could be. What I love about it is I got to be myself, you know, in the sense of like, once I'm like in my world and in my element, I, sex is like my favorite conversation. I love to talk about sex. I'm a squirrel meal. So I love to talk about sex. Do you know what your moon sign is? I don't. Oh, Haley was asking me because she said you were going to ask me. I was like, oh shit. How do I find that out? She's like, you got to find out your moon sign because she's going to want to know. I'm like, fuck. Okay, good to know.

But yeah, I love to talk about sex. I just feel like, you know, in a safe. place like we all do it absolutely right yeah so I've been on open bisexual for like years and I love love and I haven't been lucky in it but I know I'm deserving of it

and one thing people don't know is how fun and crazy and you know wild I am well wild yes but like I think we all know you're fun and crazy and wild but like in a fun way where it's not love and hip hop drama like people know me drama crazy now it's like fun crazy turn up crazy like tap into like how fun it is

to be around me when I'm in you know a good healthy environment yeah so I got nine guys nine girls all walks of life wow yeah and we took it there we put us we're all in one big house and they are competing from my love and I'll say this my cast I'm completely obsessed with them I had such a great time with just, you know, the whole environment that it was. It was crazy nonstop. The boys turned up, the girls turned up. You know, I'm not really into the whole, like, throwing down stuff because I've been there, done that growing up in New York.

But I will say this, they've definitely turned me on to see them kind of, like, some of them were taking it so serious where they were, like, thumping for me and, like, hardcore, like. Like, but yeah, I just love it because it's like, like I said, I got an opportunity to really be myself. It also was very emotional because you get attached to certain people. And even though you don't see them in that way, you know, to let them go and hurt their feelings. It's tough. It's tough. But yeah, it was a fun time.

The trailer will be dropping very soon. When does it drop? When is the actual show drop? January, we're just right now going over Zeus's programming. Yeah. Let me have so much stuff in the works and stuff like that. So he wants this to be very right timing. And it's good because we literally shot this in August.

Wow. And right in the middle of you going through all of this shit. Oh my God, literally. Literally going through all of this. It was going down. But at the same time, it was a wild experience. It was an outlet for you too. Yes.

And doing it, it made me realize, too, like everything my first baby daddy would tell me it's like remember who the fuck you are was in my my head because to go through what I went through I was on love of hip hop for so many years then what happened happened to me these people used me for bait and all of a sudden selective outrage kicked in and the next thing you know they're firing me over social media um and I held that franchise down for so many years regardless of how people feel about me people tuned in they wanted to know my drama they wanted to know my life story. I was able to kind of go through my relationships. You know, I brought out, you know, me being a bisexual. Then I got married and had my fairy tale wedding. Then I got kids. Then I got

left for dead with kids. Like the world has been on a journey with me for so long. And now it's like, now I get an opportunity to not only have my own show, but to show me in the element that I'm very deserving in. And that's love. Like I am such a lover, regardless of how crazy my love life has been um i have always been open with my love life and there's whether it's bad good ugly whatever it's it's just been this ride that my fan base has been able to go on with me so now you know doing um two ways with erika was just an outlet of just kind of seeing what it's like to date me and how to date me and and then the you know the challenges i got a chance to make up you know for my contestants you know kind of says a lot about me i'm

definitely a freaky girl. I'm definitely a freaky girl, but I'm also very fun and I'm also, I feel deep too. I'm an empath, even though I'm hardcore and like, I'm very empath. So it was, it's, it's definitely a ride. People have been saying your show is very loud. You're very loud. I'm like, yes, yes, it's loud. I'm loud.

When I think of Erica Minna, I think of somebody who's very loud. And that doesn't mean it's not a bad thing. Yeah. They call chronic loud. So that's a good thing. And it's great because like everyone. behind the scenes production everyone's like you got a hit on your hands

we're so excited for you I just stopped by the Zeus office the other day and you know everyone was just like so excited for me because the edits are you know starting to be edited up and they're just like this is this is great because people get to see who you are you deserve that this was the most fun that you've ever had on a set you know so

I got a chance to like bring an experience to not just my contestants but you know production and everybody that you know plays behind the scenes It's always more than what you guys see in front of the camera. Oh, absolutely. So, yeah, yeah, I'm excited. It's, it's going to, it's very loud and it's out there.

And we're going to be on a ride for it. It says 12 episodes, but we have so much footage that I'm thinking they might add some, you know, extra episodes in. But I'm excited. And then we also have movies coming out. I have a movie run directed and written by Chris Stokes that comes out in theaters this year. Let's go. We get a trailer for them. that. And then my trilogy stepmother, which is on 2B and all my other movies that are on

2B. I'm really proud of that. And I'm just going to continue on and like the acting stuff. This is why I'm like, this couldn't have come at a better time because I feel like at the end of the day, I'm not perfect. Like I said, I've made some fault. I've taken back. I've fucked up. I've fell for the okey doke. I've also made some bad decisions. But I'm unapologetically me at all times, even within my mistakes. And one thing's for sure is that when it comes to my career, I give it my all. And there's a lot of versions of me, which is probably why I've been able to kind of be in this shit for so long.

And I'm not afraid of growth. And that's exactly what you've shown this entire podcast is so much growth. Like, I'm not afraid to grow, change. Last August, I decided to like not drink anymore. Can we talk about this? I just learned about your sobriety earlier. Yeah, I'm like, I'm over it. You know what it is?

I just feel like to go where I'm really headed and where I'm supposed to end up being ultimately, I feel like I used alcohol to kind of numb a lot of things and to make the disson. And alcohol plays a part of me making the dumb, the stupid dumb decisions I've made with just kind of accepting and taking back and so on so forth, that played a big part of me indulging

and not being level-headed like I'm supposed to, you know, because emotions are high, it weakens me, my mind isn't clear, I forget what I have on the line. I'm like even that night that I hopped the fence, I had a couple of drinks with my guy. Yeah. You know, it was a little tipsy. And, you know, when I got that phone call, you know, I'm sure if I was sober, him not picking up, you know, whatever, I probably would have made a different decision in going over there altogether.

You know what I mean? And I think about that. And even with that last incident, you know, being set off, you know, like knowing that this person purposely says and does things to kind of. provoke me being sober i feel like now is going to give me a lot more strength and clarity and and i'm going to stop and think things through before anything you know what i mean before any type of reaction absolutely and so far i feel like it's great like i get up at five i pray now um right in my journal the kids get up at seven so i kind of have like this routine now that's been mapped out since I decided to become completely sober.

And it's been great. Like I walk around with this damn bottle. If I'm not with this bottle, it's my Stanley Cup. And I just feel so much better. I also feel like I am able to hear, I'm super in tune spiritually. Like when I wake up at 5 and I'm praying, I'm able to visually see what's going to happen for me. Like God I feel like shows me thing.

and it's been so like liberating because like even with this I was supposed to come not too long ago before this actual visit and like something happened when my mom yeah yeah she's great um where I wasn't able to make it and um it was like the timing of everything and just like how and I realize that now like I like everything and everything and it's timing it's like who would have not predicted that you know to to come and and try to ruin me yeah and i feel like that was the the there was a motive behind that like that was that was done and put out to like end me once and for all was a hit piece yes that was done to like end me for once and for all and the fact that that wasn't the result you know you've done nothing but level up even getting sober no drug is worse than reality i say that to everybody because i've been sober since 2017 i heard so to to be able to be in the midst of all this chaos all this stress everything coming at you and just to make that conscious spiritual decision to be like you know what i don't

want my mind all altered anymore i want to be in this 100% that is that's amazing and i'm so proud of you and now since i've done it i'm like i look back on all this shit i was tolerating and like the lies and you know now us going to court sometimes i have to go back and send proof to my lawyer about certain things and i'm reading how i was just like the lies the this the deceitfulness the and it's just like had i been sober none of this would have slid that that well and i definitely would have not accepted as much as i accepted you know like and then getting through postpartum that because when I was pregnant and even after I wasn't I wasn't drinking then but the pain of that and feeling on you know just regarded and thrown to the side and and just not seen and taunted the way I was taunted you know like from the time I gave birth to legend even up till now this person purposely buys all these things knowing it does nothing for these kids and everything's left on me that's done to taunt me yeah that's done to me yeah that's done to me my life complicated and more difficult you know now that I don't want to have any sexual

relationships with them at all it claims it's scared of me it can't come nowhere near me right because it's so scared you know and it's just like wow I'm really dealing well I should say I wouldn't even say I'm dealing but if there's any regret that I have is the person that I chose to have more kids with but I love my babies but I just I just really you can't control who he's going to be he's always going to be who he's going to yeah but I feel like um I owe my kids like a forever an apology but they have you they have you they have king you know like those babies were they chose you to be their mom for a reason so yeah but those times when my daughter is begging to get picked up by her dad and he does nothing but give her excuses and she gets off

the iPad and she's hysterically crying it's like I'm so sorry yeah you know like that's the stuff and and then that's and that's even more so I have to stay sober because I now have to um and it's funny because no matter how much time best passes and we're about to be on seven months that he hasn't seen them um their love for him has not subsided because how much love I pour into them and how much I allow them to love him, even from a distance. When they miss him and it's real bad, I play his video on YouTube. And that's stuff I kind of have to deal with. But at the same time, it's a sacrifice I'm going to make

because in time they will see it for what it is. But in the meantime, I don't want the trauma of them missing him and not seeing him to affect their light. So I try to do what I can to kind of build them up with love. and no matter how much time has passed and that's the part that's so sad about it is he can do this but yet doesn't tell the world that no matter how much he goes without seeing them those kids love him even more than the last time he saw them seven months ago my prayer for you guys after this podcast comes out is that i really hope safari listens to this with an

open heart oh he's not going to listen to this and oh he's oh he's listening trust me you know he's going to listen to this. He is not. He might he might he might um stalk my Instagram page to see because he does do that. Yeah. I know that because it's just so obvious. Well my prayer is that he does listen to this part of the podcast with you and he'll probably get wind of those stuff that goes viral. Lisons with an open heart and then just you guys can just get it together because it does seem like there was a lot of love there and those babies were made with love and I really pray that you guys can come to some sort of friendship, you know, of don't get back together with him, I don't even, I don't even want no friendship.

I just want him to just step up to the plate, you know, see the kids when you were supposed to see them, when you have them, dress them properly, love them properly, you know. Have you guys ever tried to have like a mediator in between you guys that can like get the kids to and from each other so you guys don't even have to interact? We don't have to interact now, Bunny. He can literally go to the school, pick the kids. up. I know there's, I know of men that drive three hours just to pick up their kids, spend time with them and drive three hours back to drop them off and then three hours to get back. Like, if you really want to see your kid, no time or place stops you. Yeah. And it's like, that's just what it comes down to. And he has court ordered time to see them. He just chooses not to because it makes my life complicated. If I have them seven days a week, week and let's just say because my career I actually do things like movies and I have a show

and things like that I have to pay child care and if I have himself a day he knows that's going to cost me yeah absolutely so so what so 2025 what can we look forward for you we got erika menna two ways with zeus coming yes we have a movie called run that will be in theaters but I want to hear about you personally what is does erika want for herself personally all your accomplishments are amazing yeah i can't wait to see those come to fruition you know what i want to i want to continue just being this clear minded person i feel like i've been drinking since i was like 16 yeah i want to i want to indulge in life like because it's well i stopped in august seven months seven eight months in i want to um progress in this life of

clarity and um you know continue to indulge in you know bettering myself whether it's me in the gym or taking some classes i've been doing this cold water plunge thing yeah yeah cold plunge yes i'm obsessed with it because it really it has helped me to understand how powerful my mind is so when i first started doing it obviously it's fucking scary it's freaky like you're fucking dying you're hyperventilating but once you start realizing and how you can control your mind like I will literally now sit in 40 degrees for three minutes of course I have a minute to go past that but I can make myself really believe I'm not in a cold situation yeah and with that comes okay if I can do that with just that I've already what manifested what I manifested now I want to just be

able to kind of just progress in my mental and like how I can just make everything that I want happen mentally, especially now that my mind is clear, you know. I want to challenge myself more in the physical sense. I've always been like, you know, real active in the gym and stuff like that, but now I really want to dive in where I'm like, you know, weightlifting heavier and just make that more of a day-to-day routine. It's so good for your mental health too. Oh my God. I feel like just challenging myself physically with the power of my mind and how I can take my, I just feel like it's just time. And then before I'm 40, I just feel like I see myself just being in the best shape ever. And this is all stuff that's come and been, you know, told to me in my 5 a.m.

you know, prayers that I just really see myself in my 40s looking better than I've ever have. I also see myself being in major movies with major actresses and actors and, you know, there's just so much that it's coming sit down and make a vision board that's what i do with my team i saw you guys do one not that not too long ago yeah yeah every year we do vision boards and it's phenomenal what comes i've been like writing profusely lately and a lot of the things that i've kind of like started jotting down are starting to kind of come through yes my manager's been calling me about certain things and i'm like no way i'm like i take a picture i'm like i wrote this down Yeah. So words are spells.

Oh my God. I'm telling you, words are spells so you be careful what you cast. And then this year, too, more importantly, I don't ever want to speak about just certain things anymore. You don't have to. You left it all here. Like, literally, that's why I said. This has been like, that set me free. And then now what I've been doing to kind of just move forward and then me saying sober and all of this, like I, if there's ever been a time where I,

I've said I'm a force, it's definitely beyond that now. Like, the force that I am about to be come, come is, you know, I'm excited for myself more than anything. Because I'm like, damn, I have been through some shit. And yes, I've loved harder than a motherfucker. But now it's time to kind of, you know, you don't realize the power you have until someone ties to chip away at it. Take it from you. Yeah, absolutely. And that's kind of what this year has been.

Power, so much. Like, even with love and hip hop would happen with me on love and hip hop. I didn't realize I was that it was, I was that big until that happened. And then I was just like, wow, not just with my words, but me as a whole, you know. Does anybody even watch Love and Hip Hop since you left? It's so funny. That's literally what I was going to say. I was going to say I literally get stopped nonstop.

I get messages nonstop in public the amount of people that tell me on a day to day. And it's literally like, and I live so far out. I get old people. I get like people from different walks of life. I had a oriental woman stopped me in like at the airport in L.A. And she was just like, you know, I don't watch love and hip hop anymore since you left. they need to bring you back if they wanted to bring you back would you go back

I left off at a pretty good coin yeah and you know it's crazy I was actually on my last year contractually with them and had I not been fired I would have to wait two years to even do Zeus oh wow I was actually offered Zeus around the time I got divorced

but I was contractually fought in so Lemmy was like I'll wait and do this with you so i was actually supposed to like i've been offered this show years ago um but contractually i wasn't so being that i got fired there was no binding and i was able to go right into what i was so that was that was a blessing even though it came from an unfortunate situation but to answer your question um i don't think that could afford me with what i'm going to ask for just because out of the disrespect and the disregard that they kind of um how they dealt with me it was just disgusting so i think you felt like you were loyal to them and they just for 15 years

i let these people i did everything these people told me to do in the very beginning because i didn't know no better and that brought in all the ratings that they needed and it took on a life of its own new york transpired where they were able to do all these other cities yeah that was a great season so it's safe to say like you know i definitely was the guinea pig and you know i also inspired other women to be casted on this franchise to you know to do what they do so it's it's good to know that but um yeah i left off at a pretty good fucking penny with them i was getting i was probably one of the highest paid if not the highest paid um so you deserved every penny of it yeah so for them to call back and and then um they better apologize to me too

she said the apology better be as loud as the disrespect yeah i mean i feel like when you're old an apology it's only right you get one so absolutely well i just want to tell you erika thank you for coming here and thank you for having me i swear i'm doney i was praying like when that when everything was just coming at me at once i was like okay and my my my manager was like okay whatever you said right now because i was kind of whatever i could i did say a few things on the internet but it wasn't getting anywhere people weren't they were just caught up in the visual that was like literally viral

everywhere and I was just like you know what I'm not going I'm just going to put out a statement and I put it out with TMD that I just wanted it to stop but really that was just to kind of bring myself to the drawing board and I sat on it for days

and just prayed because I knew I had to tell him you can't lie on me like this I think I'm not going to fucking tell the truth. Yeah. So I just prayed for it because I knew it had to be right. And not only done right, but the timing of it had to make perfect sense. Like I wanted that wave to be rode out the way it was.

Yeah. Because the truth of the matter is that that's what it wanted. It wanted the attraction. It wanted the views. It wanted the subscribers. And it showed its true colors when it's. thought it promoting the number of subscribers it got you know what i'm saying so the the motive yeah the motive it got it's it's there it's just people are so used to wanting to hate me that i pray that

you know they fell for the hoopla i pray that they see your growth in this podcast though because even in all the interviews that i've watched you and you've always been so kind of like raw raw and here you're just like like man this is what it is this is what happened I'm not who that person is. Let me grow. I mean, and don't get me wrong. I'm a crazy bitch, but my crazy has some fucking substances.

Like, there's a fucking reason behind the crazy. Oh, no. You know what I'm saying? There's a method to the madness. Like, if you want people to believe I'm just crazy for no reason, you know, like that I'm not going to allow. Because every ounce of crazy that comes from this, there's a reason.

Yeah, there's a method to the madness. Oh, my God. A huge method for a magic. imagine and every action for every action there's a reaction absolutely you know what i'm saying and it's like so yeah so we're leaving this in the past thank you thank you for giving me an opportunity to kind of you have lay it all out because literally when i tell you i'm i feel so liberated it is what it is the truth is told and if i'm spoken about by it ever again you guys hear it first it's because it needs clout which it does

I mean, look what it's done with it. It puts the lotion on the skin. The other ex. You know what I'm saying? The other ex still to this day gets bamboozled by this fool's, you know, thirst to be talked about, you know? And she's married with kids and has accomplished so much in her career. You would think it would leave it alone. But why don't you tell everybody where they can find you if they already aren't following you?

Give them all your. At Erica Mena on Instagram. And then I also have a YouTube. Only one Erica Mena. And then I have my TikTok, which is only one Eric Amena as well. And yeah, I'm excited for this. Thank you so much. I love you, girl.

And I can't wait to see you flourish in 2020. Thank you for being who you are. Because literally, like, every bit of success you're getting from this podcast is so deserving. I actually see this being a show one day. Oh, yeah. Manifest it, baby. No, yeah. You, fuck podcast.

You got your, like, we need talk shows. We need, you know, we need that. That's what we're trying to do. That's what we're aiming to do. I got chills just saying it because I so see this being like you're a talk show host. I appreciate you. I appreciate you so much. You're a talk show host, baby.

I appreciate you. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumblawn. I will see you guys next week. Bye. When starting a podcast, you're starting a business. Exciting, but honestly, kind of scary. Had all the doubts. What if it doesn't work?

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