Dumb Blonde - TBT: Kail Lowry

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

Get ready for an unfiltered conversation as Bunnie welcomes the unstoppable force of content creation, Kail Lowry. Kail opens up about her unexpected start on Teen Mom at just 16, dealing with the harsh realities of fame, and the challenges of navigating toxic relationships and divorce. She shares her raw and honest journey of growth, resilience, and embracing motherhood, and maybe a little sneak peek of what's coming up in her world next. Kail doesn't hold back on discussing her battles with mental illness, the transformative power of embracing her truth, and even her thoughts on plastic surgery. You'll understand why Bunnie loves and vibes with her! Kail Lowry: https://www.kaillowry.com/Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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And we're dropping a whole bunch of surprising stuff this year So if you guys don't want to miss out and you want to be the first to know go over to our patreon www.dumblondunrated.com Love ya Is this thing on? Alright gentlemen coming to main stage next this is Bunny. Get up there she's got a tornado of titties coming your way. Get those dollar bills ready. She's got an ass that shakes like Michael J Fox. So get up there and throw throw throw them dollars.

Dude that is fuckin iconic. What's up you sexy motherfuckers. Welcome to another episode of dumb blonde today We have a social media and reality TV star How's that for an intro? That's an intro. That's an intro. Okay, Larry. How you doing, baby? I'm good. How are you? Dude, I'm good. So she walked in she's wearing a Metallica shirt and for those of you who can't see I'm wearing a Metallica shirt Myself also, I was like as soon as she walked in, I was like fucking soul sisters. I was like, yeah.

So what are you doing out here? So I have three podcasts and we did. Hold on, stop right there. Are you a psychopath? Yeah. OK, three fucking podcasts. Like I have one and I'm tired of it. Like literally, I don't know how you're doing three.

They're so different that I feel like I have like, I don't know. I don't know how to describe it. So one of my podcast co-hosts lives in Atlanta, so we met in Nashville for content. And it's hard because my co-hosts aren't, they're all over. I have one in Delaware, one by myself, and then one with one in Atlanta. Right.

So it's just a mess. I don't know how you keep up with all the content because I'm working my ass off and I couldn't imagine having to put out three podcasts, all the social media content you do, being a mom, fucking, I mean, Tate, like, how do you do this? Kristen.

Is that your assistant? Does she run your socials or do you pretty much tell her what to put? We do. We tag team. Like if I can't get to it or she knows that I have an appointment or I'm doing something else, she'll post. But like she doesn't read my DMs or anything.

Right. Like I'll do that. Yeah. No, it's definitely. I know I run all my shit too and Mimi helps me with mine. And there's some days that I'm just like, I don't want to fucking post. Yeah. No, that's me right now.

I'm like, can you just do my stories? Because I don't want to do them. Like, I just don't me right now. I'm like, can you just do my stories? Because I don't want to do them. Like, I just don't feel like it. You just, let's touch on that really quick. Because you just got back from Thailand, right? I saw that trip. It looked amazing. I love that you have been so open with your mental illness

battle, because I'm very open about it, too. It's so hard. Talk to me about it. So last year, I would say around this time, maybe March, I just broke down. I was super suicidal. And between Kristen and one of my other girlfriends, they were like, we have to get you into the doctor.

This can't go any further. And we made an appointment. My girlfriend, Natalie, came with me. And they put me on antidepressants. And they were like, you gotta try this. And I, you know, when the first one didn't work, I had to be open for the next one. And it's been really hard because I never thought

that it would get to a point where it would be unmanageable because I was kind of just handling it myself and like going through the ebbs and flows with it. And then once I got on a medication, I'm on Lexapro now and it started working, I just felt like myself again. And it was so crazy because I never thought that I would feel like myself again. I completely 100% relate to that.

I went sober in 2017 off pills, sober off alcohol in 2018. Oh, wow. Had my first bout of suicidal depression in 2020. And when you I say that you feel like your soul is tired. Yeah, like you don't want to be here. And it's a it's a tired that sleep can't fix. Like, yeah, and it's a scary tired. It's so scary. Because, you know, before I went through it, I was just kind of like, I guess I looked at, you know, suicide and things like that. Like, I couldn't understand it.

Me, I never understood depression. Yes. And it didn't make sense to me. So when I finally went through it, and then I came out of. Yes, and it didn't make sense to me. So when I finally went through it and then I came out of it, I was like, wow, that is a different type of tired. No. And you can't fix it by yourself sometimes. Do you feel like it might have been postpartum for you? I do think so.

Yeah, because my fourth pregnancy with an ex of mine was very, very traumatic. And the pregnancy alone wasn't planned. And there was just a lot. And I think that was the onset of it. So then when after I had him, I think the postpartum kind of went untreated for some time and developed into some other things.

So it was really difficult. But I'm happy that I was able to make it through. I love that. So when you were going out to Thailand, you looked like you were just living your best life. Yeah. Yeah. How was that? Because I've always wanted to go to Thailand. First of all, you have to go. Okay. You have to go. If you if it's on your bucket list, go. Yeah.

I canceled the trip that I was supposed to go on the year prior because of depression. So when I finally got there the entire time, I just kept saying, I can't believe I'm here. Like, I cannot believe I was here. And it was the most, I did so much on, I think every single day I had multiple excursions because I was like, I need to make the best of this trip. I have to do this. Yeah.

And it was really cool. And I took Natalie with me and she's also my nanny for my kids. So we don't get to do trips together or anything. And it was nice to have her, we had a trip together without the kids. Yeah. So I mean, you've got four. Yeah.

So I'm sure that was much needed. Yeah. Um, I love that you say that you can't, I don't love it, but you saying that you canceled a trip because of depression, like I think people need to hear that because I literally live my life around my anxiety. Like even sitting right here, I'm like having trouble breathing. Like, you know, people don't realize when you're battling mental illness,

it is a battle every single day. To even get out of bed, to work, to do your makeup, to like do anything. So I think when people get to see women like you who are so strong, so resilient, been through so much shit, be able to say, hey, you know what? I canceled a trip this year, but I went the next

year and be able to see that. Like I think that's what women need as role models nowadays, especially, you know, I canceled it literally the day before I was supposed to leave. That's that's what I would do. Literally, I try to cancel podcasts all the time. He's like, No, you're not doing it. And it was it wasn't because I didn't want to go it was it was the depression, right? Because I I'm obsessed with travel. Like that's like my thing.

And people know me for traveling. And I just couldn't. I was like this. I cannot go. I cannot physically pack my bag and get on a plane and go. I just wasn't into it. So I love it. It happened.

I love that you were able to go and get through that. So let's rewind it back. Speaking of trauma, let's talk about your relationship with your mom. I think I saw some things online that you guys just really, there was a lot of similarities between my mom and your mom that just kind of triggered me a little bit. Can we talk about it?

Yeah. I haven't talked to my mom in years. I haven't seen her since 2016. I don't know where she lives. I don't know what she does. I don't know what she does. I don't know anything. So, and she doesn't know where I am, I don't think. Was she, when you were a child growing up,

like what was your guys' relationship like? I didn't always live with her. I kind of bounced around a lot. I was with like family members, my grandparents, friends, and she's really struggled with addiction my whole life. And so it was one of those things where, as a child I longed for my mom, I wanted my mom to be there,

I wanted her to be sober, I wanted her to be present, but she couldn't. So when I got pregnant at 16, 17 with Isaac, that was kind of her out and she was like, I'm wiping my hands clean of this and she never really was trying to be a mother to me ever again. Where was dad?

I met him on 16 and pregnant in 2010. So that was the first and only time I ever met him. Wow, and he never came back around. No. I mean, he actually emailed me while I was in Thailand and said, happy birthday. And I opened it. And I was like, what in the fuck is this?

You're like, surprise,y, it's dad. He's like, love you dad. And I was like, you're not my dad, I don't know you. Like I have no idea who you are. So who, growing up, who was like your parental figure? Who did you look up to? There was so many, like I spent a lot of time with my grandparents.

And then, you know, as they get older, they couldn't keep up as much. So I really bounced around with friends. Like their families took me in and I spent a lot of time with friends. And my mom would drop me off and leave me for days, weeks on end and never even so much as call.

And now I look at it back and I'm just kind of like, she couldn't. Where before I would be mad, you know, I would be really upset and not understand, but as an adult, I mean, she's just battling her own stuff. And she just never got it together. I hate that. Yeah.

That's terrible. So growing up, you had, you know, you were at multiple family houses, you know, you were back and forth. How were you doing in school? Like, were you always a studious kid, or were you more of just rebellious, like fuck this, I'm just gonna do my own thing?

A little bit of both. So there was a little, I remember specifically in fourth grade, being at school was what I looked forward to because it was kind of taking me out of being at home. And I really, fourth grade, I was like, I'm getting this perfect attendance award, I have to do this.

But then as I got older, I started to rebel a lot. You know, I got kicked out of high school, so I had to go to another school. My foster family at that point was like, are you doing drugs and drinking? I smoked a lot of weed, but I never drank because that was my mom's like first like alcohol was her drug of choice. And then she dabbled in other things. So I have always really stayed away from alcohol. I want good summer vibes all season long, and that means feeling and looking amazing

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B-U-N-N-I-E. When, okay, so you were on Teen Mom when you were 16 yeah how did that come about I just want to touch base on it I want people to know your story but that's such a big part of your story you know yeah so whenever I was pregnant with my oldest son I saw the first season of 16 and pregnant on MTV and at the time I was living in this like two-bedroom apartment with my mom in the middle of Pennsylvania. And I went on MTV.com, and it was casting.

And I was like, well, this is weird. So I just clicked on it, and I put in my story that my mom's never around and I'm pregnant, and I'm here. They called me about two weeks later and they picked me. And I was just like, I didn't really say anything. So like, what is the basis? But I guess they were interested. So it's like divine intervention.

Yeah, literally. So weird. The childhood that you had led you on this path of just like beginning your entire journey in front of the world. Yeah. Like that's fucking crazy. So take me.

Go ahead. I was going to say, just to think about signing these contracts when I was 17 years old. Right, with no parental guidance? No parental guidance, no lawyers. I think sane people would have lawyers look over their contracts. How was that approved by MTV?

They just said, if my mom signed off for me, it was fine. Wow. And if my mom signed off for me it was fine Wow and so my mom signed off on that and was like I'm also done with custody and signed it off to who to my boyfriend's parents okay gotcha so then I moved in with them full-time right and then his mom was kind of crazy right well that was that that way okay so you moved in with Joe's parents yeah and they were like sane and like normal right and then Javi's mom is the crazy one. Somebody's mom is crazy. My mom's crazy. Okay. Maybe that's what it was. Somebody's mom was crazy. Like I said, I didn't follow the, um, the teen mom thing. Like that was never my jam, but I do know, I did watch like the first, I think

one or two seasons, I think after you and Javi, I kind of fell off. I just was out running the streets doing drugs. But yeah. Casual. Yeah, exactly. Just doing drugs. So you are 17. Your mom signs off on custody of you. You're pregnant.

You're living with your boyfriend. Take me on this journey. Yeah. So I just didn't know what I was going to do, right? So at this time, I switched high schools. I got kicked out of the first one. I went to the second one. And thankfully, because of their credit system,

the second high school that I went to, I needed less credits to graduate. And so I was able to graduate in January of my senior year. So I was also due in February. So it worked out perfectly. And then I got to walk with my class in June. At that time, right up to leading up to my pregnancy, I was doing really well.

That switch of high schools really turned my life around. And I mean, aside from having sex. I played lacrosse, I was getting good grades, and I was really starting to be on the right track. And then I think it was more so me wanting to seek attention from men. Right. You were trying to find love. Yeah. The people that never show you love.

Joe's Joe's mom did not want us together. He wanted him to, you know, focus on school, maybe go to college, do those things. And so he she really didn't want us together. But Joe always reminded me of an old man. Even when even young, he was like a grumpy old man. You know, am I wrong? No, like literally not. Like he just saw I remember him always just being grumpy about something or looking grumpy. The look. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So you have

your first baby, your mom's not there. Yeah, she did. She didn't show up. She came to the birth. Okay, she did come to the birth because I went into labor and nobody was around. They were all working in another state. And so I was by myself. I called her. She did come. And then after the birth, I don't really remember her coming around too much until Joe and I

broke up and I had nowhere to go. How did you figure out how to be a mom? Did it just kick in? No, I think I went through some shit then too, because I remember sleeping on like the nursery floor and Joe's dad came in and was like, you have to leave this room. You need to get up, take a shower, and leave this room. But I just was struggling.

Yeah. Depression? Yeah, I think so. I mean, I don't know for sure, because I never got treatment back then. Well, you were a baby too, so you didn't know what to look for. I don't even know if I had health insurance.

I don't even know. She's like, I'm just having kids. I was just having babies. Isn't it crazy that we can go through like traumatic ass shit and as kids and we're just like, I don't know how I got through it. But I have no idea. Like it's like we're wired to survive. Yeah, the human body is just wired to go. It's like surviving off of you survive through survival or you survive off love. And I think you and I come

from just surviving. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Pure survival. No. I am a fighter by nature. So just everything I've been through, I automatically just want to fight.

And I have an Aries moon, so I'm really fucking toxic. I have a Leo moon, so I'm also toxic. I love that. When is your birthday? March 14. OK, so you're Pisces with a Leo moon? Oh, spicy. Yeah. That's crazy, cuz water puts the fire out

Yeah, so you're probably really constantly at war with myself all day long. God. That's brutal. It's horrible I want I want to hug you. It's brutal baby. So moving on you have your baby. You're living with Joe You're on this fucking show. What is it like doing this in front of millions of people? Did you think that all this shit was going to come with it? Like all the people? I mean, you guys have some crazy fucking haters. Oh my God. I had to cult like haters. I had Janelle on the podcast. Oh, did you years ago? Okay. Three or four years ago. And I'm telling you the backlash I got, it was fucking nuts, but I didn't care because I mean, everybody has a story and they deserve to tell their story. but you guys have like this cult

crazed demonic fan base Yeah, like they love the shit out of you or they hate the shit. Yeah Yeah, like it's and it's weird to me because at the time that you guys are on the show you guys are babies Kids, but they're judging the fuck out of us. I remember one time I was warming up It was my transition between breastfeeding and formula feeding and I remember there's like a scene of me heating it up in the microwave I got attacked like I was the world's worst person because I put it in them. I didn't know any better I was just doing the best I fucking could I had no fucking clue what I was doing Nobody was helping no guidance. Nobody told me I mean not I love Joe's parents to death

But they didn't tell me you can't put formula in the microwave. I didn't know you couldn't put formula in the microwave. I didn't know. I just learned that right now. I had no idea. No fucking idea. So what do you want me to do?

And these people are attacking me online. But the thing that sold me for Teen Mom from 16 and Pregnant was the paycheck. Right. We made $5,000 off of one episode of 16 and Pregnant and that was it, $5,000. Wow. And that's before taxes.

Wow. So we exploited our entire life during this teen pregnancy for $5,000. During very crucial moments of your life. I bought a piece of junk car just to be able to get around. I worked two jobs, I went to school, and nobody looked at that. It was just the fact that I heated up the fucking formula and may or may not have eventually cheated on whoever at the time. You know what I mean? So those

were, you're a horrible person and you belong in hell. I just, I can't with the internet, but I love that you brought up the fact of cheating. Um, cause I do see a pattern like when you're in relationships and it's almost like you self-sabotage oh 100% you feel like oh yeah that yes I think that is because of how you you know your upbringing and the trauma from your mom and your dad so it's like I'm gonna hurt you before you can hurt me absolutely because I was always the cheater too yeah I mean I've been cheated on oh me too I well my thing is is I push men until they cheat on me and then I'm like oh I'm out of here you know like? Like, oh, how dare you?

Even though I fucking drove you to this. Yes, yeah. No, I didn't cheat on Joe. Oh, I'm lying. I did cheat on Joe. I definitely cheated on Joe. Wait, was it Joe? No, Jordan.

I cheated on Jordan. I cheated on Jordan. I didn't cheat on Joe. Right. But I got a lot of shit. I get a lot of shit because I do cheat, but I have cheated. But I also leave if I'm not satisfied or happy. And I think that people don't like that. Right. People don't like that I leave, I'm not going to

stay somewhere that I'm not happy. Right. And so it does kind of look like you shouldn't. Right. And so it does kind of look like a revolving door of men. But also I know when and when not to introduce them to my kids. I know. And there's people who date all the time, and they don't get shit for it. Well, has anybody ever stopped to think that maybe you,

and this is just me observing, you are attracted to a certain type of man, so you're repeating cycles with each relationship that you get into. Until you're old enough to really start healing and understanding the healing journey, you're old enough to really start healing and understanding the healing journey Absolutely, you're never gonna be able to fix Behaviors that you you know you're never gonna be able to unlearn behaviors that you learned as a child

Until you actually go down that road, right? You know so you're getting into these relationships, and it's the same dude But a different body and you're literally just repeating a cycle. People don't look at it like they don't, you know, and I think they also are missing the childhood part because MTV never focused on that aspect. Right. And that's really hard because in order for you to understand someone's actions today, you do kind of have to look to their past to a certain degree. I mean, you can't use that as an excuse forever.

Like I wouldn't use it as an excuse now. Right. But when I'm 17, 18, 19, of course my childhood influenced that. Yeah, for sure. 100%. So moving on from Joe, you meet, you have Lincoln or Jordan. I dated Jordan after Joe. Joe's your first baby. Yes. Okay. I didn't have any kids with Jordan, but that was like a big story. Gotcha. And then I had Javi, which we got married. Okay, gotcha and then I had hobby which we got married Okay, gotcha. So you had Lincoln with Joe?

Had Isaac with Isaac with Joe Lincoln with hobby. Sorry. I'm gonna get the fucking kid. I'm gonna get the kids down I promise guys. All right, so you had Isaac with Joe and then you dated Jordan and why was that? Why do you think that was such a big scandal for you? Because I So Jordan I cheated on Jordan with Joe. OK. Jordan caught us, like, literally in the act. And then, yeah. Nice.

So, like, literally just getting banged out. Yeah, in the shower. Oh, no! Oh, and there wasn't a crime of passion? So. Good lord, woman. But that was while the camera was rolling. It was such a big scandal because it was while the cameras were not rolling.

Oh, so then Jordan takes me back. He's over it. We move on. We're doing great. And now the cameras are like, but now we need to reenact this. Oh, so now you need to retell him on camera that you cheated on him. Right. So when I did that, it was kind of like, yeah, I cheated on you, what's up? Right, because you guys had already gone through all the emotions. And so people lost their fucking minds and didn't realize that that was a reenactment.

And you can't say it because you're under contract. Now that I'm not under contract, I can say whatever I want. And so Jordan actually got re-upset, and it was this whole thing. I think we ended up being together maybe for like a- Jordan got re-upset. And it was like this whole thing. I think we ended up being together maybe for like, Jordan got re-upset? Yeah. Even though he knew it was like acting?

Oh, yeah. He lost it again as if it just happened. OK. And I was like, is he a Pisces? He is. How did I know? I was like, he's got to be a water sign. Yes, March 18th.

So then we ended up staying together for maybe another eight months or so. And then when we were kind of on that, you know when you break up but you're kind of talking but you're kind of not talking but it's just that weird- Lingering. Yes, it was that but I met Javi.

Oh, I loved Javi. He was a sweet little nugget. No? She's like, mm-mm. I mean, I could see why you think that. I love that. So I meet Javi. We get married very quickly, get married and pregnant.

So then I'm pregnant at the wedding. You're fertile myrtle. Which is weird, because I also have PCOS. Yeah, we'll talk about that. That's in my notes, actually. Yeah. When did you find out you had PCOS? Okay, so we'll get to that. Yeah. Okay, so you married hobby you got pregnant right away.

Yeah, I'm pregnant at the wedding. And it was okay for a little while, I think. But also we were so young. I was I think I wasn't even legal to drink at my wedding. So I don't think that we really had any business getting married that young. I just see you searching for love in all the wrong places, as cliche as that sounds. No, but literally. Literally just see. Because you're a Pisces, so you're already just a lover.

I'm a Pisces Venus. I'm very passionate. I love love. I love that exciting, chaotic feeling. So I just see you bouncing from person to person to just fill a void. Yeah. And that's hard because I think he was also doing the same to some degree.

But I am very damaged. It's really hard for him when his parents are still together. He kind of has an intact family. And now you're going to try to be with someone who, you know, I never had that. Right, right. It's like, what is that song that Lindsay played yesterday? Broken, Broken Homes by Raelynn, or Broken One by Raelynn.

And she talks about like, her being broken and being with someone who's not broken and how hard that can be. Like that's a real thing. Well, it's easier to pull somebody down than it is to pull somebody up. This is true. And I learned that because I was always super fucking

toxic in relationships. It took my husband being my twin flame for me to want to completely change everything around. We'll talk about that on your podcast. So Javi and you get married. You guys have the baby. Take me on this journey. Yeah, so we have Lincoln.

And things were OK. He didn't treat me so well while I was pregnant, and that was really hard for me. What did he do? It just was kind of like more so like I was on my own with the pregnancy. Didn't help me with cravings or like he wasn't like the loving husband that you would

anticipate when you're pregnant. You know what I mean? It was more like I was a single mom while I was pregnant. And he has addressed that. He has apologized and things like that. But he was a little helpful. When Lincoln first came, he would let me sleep in on the weekends

so that I could just catch up on whatever. But then he gets deployed. And I'm going to college to get my bachelor's degree he gets deployed and we're love that you're still staying in school. Oh, yeah. I just always on track working towards a goal because I knew the show wasn't going to go on forever. You know, and I didn't be so young and already thinking that and knowing that's the one thing that my mom taught me was no matter how fucked up she was, she always worked.

And I mean, she was a functioning addict. So I always, like she would go to work fucked up, but she was going to work. You know what I mean? So like, I saw that growing up. And so I was like, the show's not gonna last forever. I can't be working at fucking Sports Authority and the restaurant for my entire life.

Like, this is not gonna get me by. So I start going back to school and I realize, wow, like there's so many other people out here. Like there's so many people and he gets deployed, he has whatever he's going on over there. I had actually filed for divorce right before he left because we were fighting, we were going at it. And he had-

Nobody was cheating? Nobody was cheating at the time. And I truly don't even think that we were cheating once I filed for divorce, because even once I filed and we were kind of going back and forth with like, are we gonna make this work? Are we not? It's like, I did file.

You know what I mean? So I think that was like the big scandal was like, he tried to play this whole victim thing where I cheated, but you had something going on over there. You know, so. Well, men always try to deflect. Oh, absolutely. Well, and it came out in a lie to texture test

on marriage bootcamp. Wow. So that was kind of like, why would you sit here after everything that I've been through and put it on me when this time I really didn't do shit. And you know, we were doing the same thing and I had filed so it wasn't it canceled each other out you know to tango absolutely but we went back on back and forth for probably a year and then when we got back from marriage boot camp in 2016 we had the divorce

decree in the mail so you are how old at this time? 24. 24, two babies, one divorce, two baby daddies. What you doing, Kale? What's next? I got, I actually ended up, I believe we, I got pregnant with, with Lux before my divorce was finalized. before my divorce was finalized. And he, Javi had to sign a paper saying that he was not the father because we hadn't been divorced for 365 days when I got pregnant. Is this a law?

Yeah, in Delaware, like he had to sign off because we were still legally married even though we had filed for divorce and it was like under the separation. And so then I was with Chris and that was by far my most tumultuous and toxic relationship. Was it domestic violence? Absolutely. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah, it was a lot. Can you take me on that journey? So you're already pregnant? Yep. You got the two babies. Do you have full custody of them? In Delaware is 50-50 automatic. Okay. So I have 50-50, I think, with Lincoln.

But I think Joe might have still, I don't think we were 50-50 yet, but that's what we were working on. Have they always stepped up, Joe and Javi? Always. They've always been, like when Joe, we were both in Pennsylvania, he paid child support. He did what he had to do.

Same for Javi, right off the bat. So when I meet Chris, it was a very different story. It started off very toxic. And when you say started off very toxic, what do you mean? So I would say about six months in, I had already had a miscarriage with him. And at that point, I knew I had found out that he had two other girlfriends, full time

girlfriends. These are not side chicks. Like we were not side chicks. All three of us were the main fucking chick. Is he a pimp? I don't know what the fuck he is, but he got a hammer and that's what that's happening right there. Is he getting money from the hoes? That's exactly where my fucking brain goes. I'm such

a Vegas chick. I'm like, is he pimping? Um, okay. So he's got that sledgehammer. Oh yeah. So he- Do you want a drink by the way? I'm sorry. We didn't even offer you anything when you walked in. We're just sit down and dry talk. So yeah, I already have a miscarriage. And I am learning that he has two other girlfriends. And I find out while I'm pregnant with Lux, my son. Did they know about you?

No. None of us knew about each other. The way that it was described to me was that these are his exes. And so we were kind of like an open book about it. And I'm believing that these are his exes, but lo and behold, the entire time he is in an active relationship with them. How do men find the time? Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, that's a lot. You're not, you're not that special either. So like, but I mean, like, was he living with you full time? Yes. Okay.

So how was he having relationships? I don't know. And I think it started because of when we first started, I was going through the divorce, right? So he was kind of bread crumbing me. And I think that was a sign that I initially missed. So looking back, I'm like, okay, he would, like, essentially love bomb me for three days and then disappear for a week.

And then come back and you know what I mean? Things like that. So I was just like what in the fuck? So we go on a trip to Denver. He wanted to go to Denver, he wanted to do the weed thing, whatever. So it's me, him and his best friend, we go to Denver. And he gets so smacked that I'm like,

let me, I'm gonna go through his phone. His phone is going off, steady going off. I'm sleeping on the bed and his phone's going off. I pick it up and it's one of the girlfriends. So I go through the rest of it. He's got naked pictures, videos of them doing things, all kinds of shit. So I go out to dinner with my girlfriends

and I'm like, what do I do? Wait a second. So you're laying in bed next to him looking at this? Yeah. And I'm just plotting. Yeah, I'm just like, what am I? How did you not say anything? I would have been like, whack.

So wait. Wake up. We got some shit to talk about, bubba. So I go to dinner with my girlfriends who live in Denver. And I'm like, what do I do? I don't want to overreact or underreact. I don't know. They don't know I'm pregnant.

So I have to tell them I'm pregnant. And I'm just like, what the fuck? So I leave the dinner. One of my girlfriends is waiting outside becauseact, like, I don't know. And they don't know I'm pregnant. So I have to tell them I'm pregnant. And I'm just like, what the fuck? So I leave the dinner. One of my girlfriends is waiting outside because she's like, I don't know what's going to happen. So let me just like, you tell me the okay to go and I'll go. And I throw the phone at him and I'm like, what is this? And all hell breaks loose.

And that's when I put them in a group chat and I was like, hey, we're all fucking the same man. And then they when I put them in a group chat and I was like, hey, we're all fucking the same man. And then they're calling him, they're texting him, everything is blowing up. This is where I get really toxic. I take his wallet and he can't find it and he has to go to the airport by himself

and he can't do anything with it. And I hide the wallet and you have to go to the airport by himself and he can't do anything with it. And I hide the wallet and you have to go to the airport and figure it out. I don't think that's toxic. I think that's karma. I like, I'm saying you're talking to the, barking up the wrong tree over here. I'd have done way worse.

I've done way worse than that actually. Yeah, you are very composed. And his friend doesn't leave me. His friend stays in the room and we catch our actual flight while Chris goes to the airport and tries to, I don't know if he slept there. Like, I don't know what he did. She's like, I don't give a fuck. I had no clue. Um, I don't even remember seeing him in the airport the next morning, but we get home and we don't talk until that was in December. We don't talk for at least a whole month, but the other girls are already back in his life. They're already, he's already

fucking them. They're his girlfriends again, the whole nine, I have no idea. He gets on his knees and shows up at my house and begs for me back. I take him back like a fucking dumbass. They always want the one that puts up boundaries. And I have no idea that he's actually with all three of us again. No. And that's been going and he's still with one of them.

I don't understand how girls are just okay with that. And she told me she's like I'm not going anywhere. That is so weird to me. So you have the baby, you have Lux, is he a present father? Not really and because it has there's like domestic violence involved in the beginning he only got four hour supervised visits every other week. Where did the domestic violence come in? or supervised visits every other week. Where did the domestic violence come in? There was several incidents. I compared him to his father one time while I was pregnant

and he choked me up against the side of my house. He choked me while holding our son. And several other things, he broke a window, he broke a door, like trying to get to me. There's been so many things. And so I really didn't, and maybe you're familiar with this. I don't know if you've been in a domestic.

Oh, absolutely, yeah. I didn't really want to press charges or call on him. You know, like I wanted him to change and pick me and be with me and be good and us be great. I didn't wanna do those things. And so there was even a point where I, you know, the DA called me and was like, what do you wanna see from this?

And I said, I don't think jail is gonna help him. I said, he needs to go to a rehab center or some sort of therapy to help him. And that's what I was hoping. He would get the help that he needed versus going to jail. Right. I think that was one of my mistakes, but he's also gone to jail and then called me from jail. Right.

You know what I mean? So it's like, it's like, it's not really doing it so toxic. And I'm not saying that I was perfect because I've definitely probably pushed his buttons where I shouldn't have. I get it. Trust me. I guess I was in a very, very abusive relationship where I literally almost lost my life. Same. a very, very abusive relationship where I literally almost lost my life. Um, and. You it's weird because you get, it's a trauma bond. Yeah. You get addicted to the chaos. Yeah. To the abuse and just like the making up

and the, you know, like it's just a fucking cycle that just doesn't stop. And I didn't want to call the cops on him either. I remember the cops came in our house one time and, um, he had another girlfriend too, which we'll talk about that on your podcast if you want to. But the cops came in the house. My eye is literally swollen shut. I mean, it's like sitting out this far and he's like, do you want to press charges? And I'm like, no. I also, I said no. And the state press charges anyway. Yeah. That was for a separate incident. That was the most recent one that I've finally pulled the plug, I guess.

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After you place your order be sure to let them know I sent you select podcast and the survey and be sure to select my show Dumb Blonde in the drop down menu that follows. During a really abusive period. And so I've never really discussed the circumstances of that pregnancy, but it wasn't a good, it was not a good time. Right, it just probably got worse because it never gets better. No, it doesn't.

And there was a time where I truly, like I texted someone who I later dated and I was like, he's going to kill me. And then I threw my phone under my bed because I thought if he gets my phone, I won't have any way to call for help. But you know, my ex that we could talk about later if you want, he didn't get it because it was at two in the morning. You know, Chris had showed up to my house. We had this crazy situation happen.

I literally thought I was going to die. And I think the only reason why I fought for my life, he literally, he put my face into the couch and was just smothering me into the couch. While you're pregnant? No, I had, I already had my first son. Okay. Um, but this was around the time that I got pregnant with my second son. Okay. And, um, I don't know, I had never fought him before when he put his hands on me or,

you know, abused me. Can we talk about that though? When you get into an abusive relationship, you literally, there is a fire that comes up out of you and you're like, motherfucker, touch me one more time and I'm gonna kill you. Yeah, so that night, I don't know what took over me, but that night I fought for my fucking life.

And I don't know, my son was upstairs sleeping. And I just, I remember just like turning my head a certain way and being able to like gasp for air. And I still, I still did not want to call the fucking police. I did. I was so just like, I want you to choose me. I want you to get better.

You know, it was sick. No, it's a very, very, very sick cycle that happens with, um, you know, relationships like that. And I don't think that people talk about it enough because it's one of the most. Fucked up mind fucks you will ever go through. I've been away from my abusive abuse of X for seven years now, and I'm still fighting just healing and going through like emotions of having what happened to me, you know, it's, it's not easy.

How long have you been out of it two oh yeah and what's crazy is a couple weeks ago he called me while we were in Texas and I had put him on speakerphone and he's like and you need to get over it like you can't keep talking about this what did he say Kristen yeah my ex literally messaged me when was it last year and told me I Like you can't keep talking about this. What did he say, Kristen? Yeah, you can't keep using it. Yeah. My ex literally messaged me when was it last year and told me I don't want to be used as content because like all like this is our story.

Yeah, that's what happened to us. I said, we're not talking about you. We're talking about the situation. I've never even said his name publicly. So nobody even knows who he is. Yeah, then I've told him that. And he finally got to the point where he's like, well, just say my name. No, motherfucker. I'm never going to give you that clout. Yeah, then I've told him that. And he finally got to the point where he's like, well, just say my name.

No, motherfucker. I'm never going to give you that clout. No, absolutely not. It's just a very toxic thing. And it's so fucked up because it's like you really want to love this person. And you have kids with him. So I could only imagine how hard that is.

Because it's like you want to have a family. You want that love unit. And it's just never going to happen, because that's who they are. To their core, that's the type of humans that they are. I think that after that night was when I started my actual hardcore therapy journey. I got into with an emergency therapist,

and she kind of just rocked my world. And I was with her for 3 and 1 half years, almost four years. Yeah. And if it wasn't for that, I would not be where I am. But I think God I called 11 therapists to get in for an emergency appointment. I was like, I don't know what's gonna happen to me. Like, I don't even know how I'm here. She was the only one that called me back. No, I have been I literally have been in your same position where

I have felt so suicidal. Yeah, I have like, I've been like, I need to talk to somebody to I need to figure this out. The mental health world is not helpful. No, it's not. Like they charge an arm and a leg. They don't take- I was paying a mortgage worth of therapy every single month. Yeah.

I mean, Kristen can tell you, she sees my bank account every month. No, I get it. I'm like, you know, there was periods of time where I had to go double, you know, two times a week. There was times where I went over an hour there where, you know what I mean? Like just trying to get through this and for him to still say, like, you gotta get over it. You gotta get over it. Move on. That's something within him. And yeah. And as he feels guilty

for what he did to you and heaven forbid, he wants to feel guilty, you know, like it's going to trigger him to be like, well, you need to get over it. Cause I don't want to hear about it anymore. Cause I don't want to feel it. Believe it or not. Narcissists do have a guilty conscious when it comes to things that they do, because they hate looking like the bad guy. They don't want to be made to look like the bad person. So when you are out speaking your truth, it's making them look bad. And even if somebody, well, in your case, they do know who he is.

So he really hates it because he's like, Oh my God, I'm looking bad to all these people. You know, how dare her shame me in front of all these people, right? You know, so it's a guilt of them not wanting to feel bad about themselves because their ego, it's all ego driven. Yeah. Um, so that night you go on your spiritual journey. When do you find out you're pregnant with your second kid? Cause you weren't pregnant at the time? I don't know. Yeah. I didn't find out until the next month.

Okay, gotcha. So the next month it was on my second son's birthday that I find out that I'm pregnant now with my fourth. Right. And I was so distraught and upset. I had never been in a situation where, you know, I already had a child with someone with the same person. I've never been in a situation where, I already had a child with someone with the same person and I wasn't in a place to have another child.

I was going through so much within myself. So I made an appointment to get an abortion. And love me or hate me for that, but that was something that I had to do for myself. And Kristen went with me, she drove me. And when I got there, I said, I need to look at the screen. I need to see if I'm going to connect with this baby. Because I was at the borderline of like where you can no longer get one because I needed all this time to think. And then at that point,

I was already feeling guilty because I had waited so long because I couldn't make the decision. And I felt like it isn't fair for me to bring this baby into this situation. But also just- What a terrible situation that could be in. Yes, and it just felt like it was wrong. And so I'm not really entirely sure what I should be doing, what's the right thing to do.

And I looked at the screen and I was like, I'm not gonna go through with this abortion and I'm going to do the best I can and raise this baby. And whatever happens, it's going to be OK. And this is Creed? This is Creed. Creed, sorry. Creed, yeah.

Creed, Creed is cute too. Your fans are going to come for me. No, it's OK. Creed is cute too. Creed. I swear I have all this in my notes. I'm just trying not to look at my notes while I talk to you. Um, Okay, so you have you you know have this epiphany while you're in the abortion clinic, which is pretty profound

I love that because I actually had an abortion when I was 16 and I told we'll talk about this on your podcast, but it's Kind of like the same situation and mine was a little too late though. So oh Oh wow. Yeah. So we'll, but we'll, we'll definitely talk about that. Um, you're pregnant with your second baby with this dude. Yeah. What does he say? I really thought at some point that he was turning over a new leaf. He like wrote me a Christmas card and was like, so it's the dog. Oh, I was like, is that a baby? No, um, the dog across the street. He always does this. So funny. Um, I'm like, okay, he's, he's going to turn over a new leaf. He's gonna, you know, at some point, this is going to make him realize what he wants, what he's done, how we're going to get

through this. Isn't it crazy how you've given the most chances to the most toxic man that you've been with? Yes, and I always say that. And I loved him the most. I loved him so fucking hard. But was it really love, or was it a trauma bond? It was absolutely a trauma bond.

Absolutely. Because we crave that you guys probably had really passionate sex. Absolutely. The best sex. Yeah. The best sex. I swear, the most domestic violence relationships have the best sex. I. The best sex. Yeah. The best. I swear the most domestic

violence relationships have the best sex. I've always said that. And it's like you get addicted to just that person. Well, and I thought the sex was so good. So when I'm talking to my therapist about it, she's like, kale, but is it she's like, or does he deprive you of everything else in a relationship? And so you think that's the best because that's the only time you're connected. And then when I think about it I was like Wow, like we could be fighting but I would have sex with him so that we could connect and really be Yeah, and and and she was right like it probably wasn't that great. Mm-hmm. I need your therapist So, yeah, I thought he turned over. Yeah, he writes me this Christmas card.

And he's like, I know this wasn't great, but we're going to be fine. We're going to do OK. We still didn't really try to have a relationship from that point forward. But it was more so like I felt like he was nicer to me. We probably knew that he had to be. Yeah, and so there were still times where it was not great.

And I didn't think that I was going to have him at the birth because I thought it was going to be just traumatic. And like, something that I knew that I could never have is like this family. Are you still filming during this time? Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

So I'm trying to hide it, but also I'm so angry and upset that I'm also telling parts of it and I'm not telling the whole story and I don't'm trying to hide it but also I'm so angry and upset that I'm also telling parts of it And I'm not telling the whole story and I don't know how to navigate it because I do owe the show You know, I do owe them my life. I owe them, you know my privacy really But I'm also trying to protect him to some degree but also tell my story was very difficult And so I really started to run into problems with filming at that time Because he was pissed don't talk about me., I don't wanna be on the show, the whole nine.

So I tell him I really don't want him at the birth and but ultimately I was like, you know what? I can't not have my son's father there. He deserves to be there for his son. Maybe if he watches me give birth again, he'll wanna just make this work. Cause nothing turns a guy on like a placenta. Right, right, right.

So I'm thinking like him being there will just change his mind. And absolutely it could not be more far from the truth. What happens? He comes to the birth, he was fine. But then, you know, he just decides that he's just gonna kind of come and go and show up and leave as he pleases. Like, I think I gave birth and he left like two hours later.

Was he still, he's still dating the other two girls? Yeah, well, no, just the one. The one, okay. Yeah, so they have a child together now. Oh, nice. And he ends up getting her pregnant shortly thereafter. I had, you know, our second son. And so that was like a whole other thing. And that's got to be crushing you.

It was that was hard for me. That was really hard for me to learn that, you know, he was having a baby with her. I had a mental breakdown that day. And then I was like, you know what? Here's the thing, I don't date men with kids. And if it wasn't for that, I don't think that I would be done with him today. Sure. Hold on. You don't date men with kids, but you want men that don't have kids to date you. But I understand if they won't. Right. I like it. It's a personal preference.

I love that. But I come with so much baggage. Right. You're like, I don't need yours. I don't need yours as well. So, um, yeah, I like them without kids. I don't know for any of the men who want to slide up in Kales DM, if you guys have any little tater tots, any crotch goblins do not. So yeah, I find out shortly thereafter that he is having a child with her and I promise you I had my mental breakdown. I called my therapist on an emergency basis. She talked me through it. I like basically blacked out. I don't even remember what the conversation was. From that point forward, I accepted

that he was having this child and I never looked back. I never looked back. It's trauma. I'm the same way. If I get hurt, it's like I will stonewall and literally just keep going. Yeah. I'm not looking back.

Right. And so from there, I mean, I've never hooked up with him. We don't hang out. We don't talk. We're not friendly. There's like one or two friendly times that we've tried to be cordial, but it ultimately just goes to shit every time. So like we're never on good terms. I'm proud of you. It's hard. I'm really proud of you. You've been through a lot of shit.

It's been, I've lived a hundred lives in 30 years I think. Yeah. But you have two. I think you need, don't deflect. Accept the compliment. You really are deserving of, and I'm proud of you. Because coming from somebody who didn't have anybody to show them how to live, you have four beautiful babies. Yeah. Oh my gosh. And they're everything.

Oh my god. They're everything. Yeah. So I heard you had them on a podcast. And was it Isaac? That's something crazy and you like everybody came for you because um Probably I think they said I think the article I read said that Isaac and you were on They all the kids were on the podcast and I you said something about like do the people I date bother you and he said

Well, no, not at all. And then you said something and then he said well, I Just know you for having babies. babies with everybody or something like that. And I didn't think that was wrong. He's not wrong. For everybody to make such a big deal about it was crazy. You know, they love to make something out of nothing. But it's funny. My kids, they just fry me up on a regular basis.

And I love it because I'm like, I can take it. And these are truths. Like, I have three baby dads, and that's the truth. So I love it because I'm like, I can take it. And these are truths. Like I have three baby dads and that's the truth. So, but no, they're so funny. And especially my third son, he humbles me every day of my life. When's his birthday? He's a Leo, he's August 5th.

Oh, I love that. I bet you he loves the shit out of you though. He's my ride or die. Yeah. Through and through, like I can, I know if I was to go to jail and he's an adult, I know he would call, he would answer on the first ring. You know what I mean? Like he's my ride or die. Yeah. Through and through. Like, I know if I was to go to jail and he's an adult, I know he would call, he would answer on the first ring. You know what I mean?

Like, he's my ride or die. Yeah, that's, that's, he's a mama's boy. Yes. I feel like Isaac kind of grew up with you. Yeah. How's you guys' relationship? We struggled for a little while. We were bumping heads and he's a lot like me.

He's a lot of the things as a child in myself that, you know, I see qualities of him that I hated in myself as a kid. But I would say over the last like year and a half, we have become best fucking friends. And you know, I'm a parent first. I will always be a parent first. And I tell him that, but I also want him to trust me. I want him to be able to tell me all the things.

And so he will sit there and he'll spill the tea about all the seventh graders at school and what's going on. And I just love the shit out of him and I am proud of him, but he challenges everyday things that kids are expected to do. He will challenge them a little bit. And I'm actually really proud of him for it

because I feel like kids don't do that enough in a respectful way. And so he'll challenge, you know, like, you know, why do I have to do this or, you know, things like that? And I just I think that he's going to do big things. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. What about Lincoln? Because he kind of grew up with you too. Yeah, he did. Yeah. Lincoln's a little different. Lincoln is he's just like a little athlete. He's a man's man. He's always into sports. That's a daddy's boy. Yeah.

Yeah, that's hobby's boy. Aw. Yeah, which is okay. That was a little hard on me. There was a little bit of a period where I was like, this really fucking sucks. Yeah. Because I feel there's something different

about a mom and her sons versus like a mom and her daughters. And normally it's, they're not daddy's boys. Right, and so they're like more of like mommy's boys. But he, and so I struggled with that a little and her daughter. And normally, they're not daddy's boys. Right. And so they're more of like mommy's boys. And so I struggled with that a little bit. I think he'll become a mama's boy the older he gets. OK. Well, I'm hopeful for that. When he starts getting girlfriends and stuff like that.

Oh, yeah. He'll ask me, because he has a little girlfriend. And he'll be like, can you take us here? He won't dare ask his dad. So I'm like, I'm the favorite now? Yeah, you're like, am I the cool parent? Am I the cool parent? If I do this? Well, I love that. So moving on, I read an article that you had that you were ready to break ties with, you know, teen mom, and you did not want that stigma around you anymore. What

led to that? It was a really hard decision for me. But I had been really struggling with the fact that I went through such a public divorce and then like the stuff with Chris was so messy. My kids are getting older. You know, Isaac really didn't wanna film anymore. So I was just kind of feeling like maybe this is time

for me to move on. And it would have been cool if they kind of showed the whole picture, but they were so focused on showing the traumas with myself and my kids' dads. And that's not my whole story. You know, there's a lot that goes into being a mom, being a single mom. They didn't really wanna cover any of the good stuff.

And I think you do have to cover the good with the bad. And I understand that drama sells on TV and you want to exploit like the craziest stuff because that's what's going to make money. But if people don't know the whole story, who gives a fuck about that? Yeah. And so I just got to a point where it just was too much.

You know, the cast and I, none of us were getting along. My kids didn't want to film. And so I just wanted the privacy and to kind of just move on. They've asked me a couple of times to come back, but I just don't, I'm so far removed from that now that I can't see myself going back to that show specifically. Right. Maybe like a spinoff of your own.

Oh, absolutely. You got enough kids to fucking keep everybody interested. Did you want to talk about the lawsuit with Brie or no? I don't care. We can talk about it. Was that one of the pivotal things that also made you leave the show? You know what?

There was so much with the lawsuit. For one, I really just wanted to prove a point that you're not going to continue to fuck with me and get away with this. You know what I mean? The other thing too was that I felt like I exploited my entire life for 13 years and MTV held no, like they've threatened to find me for thinking

that I sold this in touch article back when I was with Jordan in 2012. They threatened to find me, but they're not going to threaten to find her for threatening to spit on me, to her sister assaulted me. Nobody gets fined. So I just felt like it was very unfair and not like a balanced situation.

It kind of turned into Bad Girls Club. Right. And so I was just like, this is not me anymore. I've learned, because I had Honey Boo Boo Boo on Alana and Pumpkin. And there was so much abuse that the TV people have covered up. And it's like, I almost feel like in this day and age, what was happening with you is kind of illegal. There's a lot of domestic violence going on

behind the scenes. They didn't do anything to help it. And I'm sure they knew or had an inkling of something was going on. They're exploiting teenagers. That's really rocky waters. So they don't really have your best interests at heart. So that doesn't surprise me that they wouldn't find her,

but try to find you. It just, I felt like it was backwards. And I paid my dues in the industry. I don't feel like she had. 13 years? That's a long time. And we're talking divorce, cheating scandals, STDs, the whole nine.

And you can't even say this is unacceptable and do something about it. There was no regard for or human decency, it felt like. And so that was one of the turning points. I would yeah and so that was one of the turning yeah I would say so yeah definitely and then you ended up the judge ended up throwing it out right or something like that yeah I what was it like a throwout not enough evidence or essentially nobody won I had to pay her lawyer fees you just feel helpless because it's like nobody has your back and then she sent me like a

treadmill And then a clown suit have some booth. Um, so moving on you had mentioned earlier that you had PCOS Yeah, and did that come into play? When did you find out that you had that too? I think two years ago I don't know why I was why did I get tested for that? years ago, I don't know why I was, why did I get tested for that? Okay, so I TMI, but I like bleed through everything. So like, I shit you not, I could put a tampon in and bleed through my entire outfit in 20 minutes. So it's just like crazy. I've all

over my mattress, long story short, that and like the weight, the weight gain. I was working out religiously and not losing anything. I was eating right, doing what I needed to do, and nothing would come off. So two years ago, I go get the blood test and everything else like that, and it comes back that I have PCOS, which is really weird because I have no problem getting pregnant.

There was a small window where I had secondary infertility. And then you infertile, right? You're like, wait a minute. I mean, that's a good thing now, isn't it? No, I'm just kidding. So yeah, there was like a small window where I had what we thought was secondary infertility. And then so I had back to back miscarriages and then randomly got pregnant with lux creed and you know what I mean? So it was just, even now it feels weird to say

that I have PCOS because I'm not like the typical like poster child for PCOS. Yeah, I think every case is different. Mimi has PCOS. Pregnancy can cause PCOS. So you could have not had it. I don't think I always had it. Yeah, and so one of your pregnancies could have caused it.

Really? So you wouldn't have the infertility of it that like you could kind of struggle like you said you had a little bit of struggle with it but your pregnancy could have brought on all that because uh saying that your piece of us isn't just like a black and white thing it's so broad. Yeah because yeah your pregnancy could have caused it. Wow I didn't see I don't I didn't know that. Yeah now Mimi knows a lot about it that's why I was curious about it to see what your journey was. Yeah. I've seen her journey.

So I have like the crazy weight gain. I cannot lose weight for the life of me. Um, high testosterone. I have, um, I had the crazy acne like cystic acne. I took Accutane for five months. Um, I'm trying to think what else I have. Your skin looks fucking flawless. This is from Accutane girl. This is from Accutane. I've been looking at that skin this whole time. He was sitting there. I'm like to think what else I have. Your skin looks fucking flawless. This is from Accutane. Girl. This is from Accutane. I've been looking at that skin this whole time. You've been sitting there. I'm like, good lord.

I don't even. Accutane really put me through hell, but it was worth it. Mentally? Oh, yeah. Do you think that might have been what triggered your depression in 2020? Well, because when did I go on Accutane? Before or after Lux?

Because I've heard nothing but nightmare shit about Accutane. I didn't really before. Yeah. I didn't really struggle. Um, long-term once I stopped the five month treatment, everything went back to normal, but it was just during that time. Um, I think, you know, my mental health just kind of the ebbs and flows. I don't really like your body's been through a lot. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

And then coming out of a domestic violence relationship too, like that will literal hell. Yeah, totally. New York Times. I don't really like your body's been through a lot. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And coming out of a domestic violence relationship too like that will literal hell. Yeah, totally. New York Times bestseller. Take me on this journey, boo. OK, so I actually I didn't think that I would ever actually get to publish this book.

So I'm writing on my laptop, my $600 Toshiba laptop that I got from fucking Best Buy when I was like, 20, right? And I'm typing on it. And I'm like, it's basically like a diary, like all this shit that I've gone through, you know, my family story. And I don't know how to fuck to publish a book, right? So I'm like, what the fuck am I gonna do? And I reached out to like five or six publishing houses,

which by the way, let me cut you off. They're like a cult. Because I'm in the process of trying to write a book too about my life story. They, if they don't, they will not just accept anyone. No, five publishing houses turned me down before. Five or six of them turned me down before. The only reason why I actually ended up getting a book deal

was because at the time MTV had a book department. Right. So MTV books put me in touch with a publisher who finally was like, all right, we'll, we'll take a risk here. And so I was the first or second. I think Farah had her book out first. Has she been on the podcast yet? No, but I can't wait. And she's scheduled. She needs to come on. No, I want her so bad just And she's scheduled. She needs to come. No, I want her. Just because she's a fucking lunatic, dude. I love it, though. I'm all for it. So I

get I get the book deal. And, you know, we did the whole book tour thing. And it was really cool, because that there's so much in there that I didn't get to show on the show. So people really finally started to understand why I was so fucked up at the show. And so people really finally started to understand why I was so fucked up at the time. And you know. What's the name of the book? Pride Over Pity.

Okay. Yeah, so I talk about my mom's addictions. I talk about, you know, walking down the street to my uncle's house and asking for food, you know what I mean? So there's like a lot of stuff in there that I, actually, I don't even know if that's in there. But there's just so much in there

that the show didn't get to. Right. So. Which I feel like the show would be way more successful if they did show all that shit, dude. Absolutely. Because people would actually have fucking empathy. Oh, 100%. Because I think, and that goes for everybody on the show, not just me. You know, how did Chelsea become Chelsea?

She became the face of the franchise. How did she, you know, her dad's a doctor or a dentist. Like, what was that like for her? You know, did she grow up wealthy? did she, you know, her dad's a doctor or a dentist, like, what was that like for her? You know, did she grow up wealthy? Did she, you know what I mean? Did she have a great start? Did she have a support system? Yeah.

Like, I don't know any of you guys' backstories. I just know the children that you had. Right. You know, the arguments. So it would have been really cool for them to, you know, at least do a couple episodes, you know? But they just never, they never really touched on it.

But you got it all out in the book. I did. And then you wrote another one. I wrote three more. Three more. I only saw two. So I wrote one of them. You are busy.

Good Lord. Well, I because I'm so afraid of being poor again. Girl, hello. I fucking I literally will hold on to money like a hoarder. Literally. Well, and there was a time where I was having a shopping problem because I was like, I have the money. But now I'm back to me trying to just remember my roots.

But I'm so afraid of being broke like I grew up. I didn't have food. So my mom didn't keep food in the house. So I never want to go back to that. And I don't want my want to go back to that. And I don't want my kids to go back to that. So I write three more books. One's a children's book.

And I'm hoping to do another one. So hopefully within the next year, we'll start working on that. But it's a lot harder than you think, especially now, because everything is just like, listen to a podcast. Read. Go on Audible or listen to a book, you know read go on audible or you know Listen to a book or whatever it is and I call it the microwave era

Yeah, people don't want to they don't want to wait. So they just want instant. Yep instant gratification. Yeah always. Yeah Oh girl, I'm proud of you fucking three books. I only had two in here Plastic surgery. That's the last thing we'll talk about cuz I know I listen I get it all the time Everybody's like what did you have done and like, you know Just even if you have fillers and shit in your face people call you plastic I love that you're so open with your plastic surgery yeah yeah no I love plastic surgery I'm like the the only regret that I have is not waiting until I was done having kids yeah because I had the mommy makeover after my second son. But I really should have waited cause I could definitely go for another. If anyone wants to, no I'm just kidding.

If anyone wants to fund it and you don't have any kids. Right. Make sure you don't have any kids. No, I love that you're very open with your journey because so am I. And I'm like, dude, I can't wait to get a facelift. I'm so ready. No, I was literally, I'm like,

what does Kris Jenner have? Because I want whatever she, hers is nice and'm like, does Chris, what does Chris Jenner have? Yeah, whatever she hers is nice and precise. Baby's blood is what she has to be a dream of Chrome. And I was watching game show network and I'm like, Leah Remi got something done somewhere. Like what her JLo everybody looks so good. Everybody Kim, Kim Kardashian looks amazing. They all look fucking great. Everybody gets nip tuck in the

world. I mean, like, if you can afford it, they're getting it done. Oh, or comped. Yeah, exactly. Somebody's getting comped. Yeah, for promo or whatever. Yeah, no, I love that you had that journey. So you had a tummy tuck. And what else have you had done?

BBL, Lipo 360. I've had lip fillers. I get dysport religiously. Yes. I can't live without Botox. No, I love it. I actually just missed my appointment. Oh.

Yeah, I know. I have a really good girl out here if you ever want to use her. She's amazing. Thank you. Just at the ecstatic parlor. She's amazing. I had a BBL done. It wasn't a full BBL done, but I had high def vasor lipo on my stomach and then they

put a little bit at the top of my ass because I was starting to get my mom's ass. I don't love the BBL trend. I don't love it. I want it removed kind of immediately. Same. I'm the same way. If I could yeah, gravity is kind of pulling it down a little bit. Yeah. I think what they don't tell you whenever you're getting a BBL and I want to make a tick tock about this is one it makes it harder for you to lose weight. People don't realize that. Did you know that? Absolutely. No, I battle. I work out four to five times a week and my girl, Viking Barbie, who's beautiful.

You can look her up. Her and I have the same, uh, nutritional coach. It took me probably five times more working out and longer to lose the fat on my hips and around my ass than it did her because she's never had work done to her body. And when you have lipo, fat doesn't go to that area anymore, but it spreads out and goes to other areas where there's fat cells. Yes. So it's, it doubles. It's harder to lose. Like it's just not. So Dr. Miami did mine. Wow. And he said, I asked him about it and he was like, when you gain weight, you're going to gain weight wherever your fat cells are, right, which he moved them to my butt. My butt has grown

exponentially. Yeah. And I also had when I did the BBL and I did the light bow 360. I wanted everything to match because I felt like I can't have a huge butt and then like, my arms and my waist or my arm, my my waist or my arm, my waist to be small, my arms to be big. So I had it in my arms. My butt and my arms have grown and insane. But like now what? Now I don't know what I can do about it. Yeah. Now the gravity pulls down your butt a little bit and it just looks crazy and I can't find jeans that fit me. It's insane. So I don't know if I would have to get lipo, but then would it be like lumpy?

Yeah, no, there's like what they don't warn you about plastic surgery. Once you start getting it, the upkeep is insane. The fact that I've been able to keep my results for the past seven, like 2015, I got it done. Yeah. So about seven years, seven or eight years, eight, eight years is insane. And I've had to really work my ass off to keep my results. Totally. And, but my ass and my hips have widened so much from just having work done. Like it's, I don't know. It's just crazy. You're just literally always chasing it. That's so weird. Okay. So that's good to know. I, um, I don't even know what I'm going to do. We'll figure it out. I mean, I'm sure they'll come out with a new fucking thing.

But yeah, just before you get plastic surgery, do all your research. Everybody's body is different. But you know, just from my experience, it has been so hard for me to lose body fat. It's been crazy. I maintained it for a long time. Um, but I got pregnant the same year that I got my, my mommy makeover. Yeah. So that was my biggest mistake. I should have, you know, had all the kids I wanted to have and then got it. Yeah. Because then you can maintain it for as long. At least the results would have held longer, I think for me. Yeah. Um, but hopefully, you know, in the next year or so I'll be able to get a new mommy. Yeah. Well, maybe they'll come out with a new procedure and we can all just fucking get it. Right. Um, are you going

to have any more babies? Are you open to having more babies? I am in a relationship now and you know I yes. Are we allowed to know who you're in a relationship with? His name's Elijah. Yeah and he is we're gonna talk about it on my podcast but he's younger than me. Uh-huh. So we have that in common I think. Yeah yep. So you know he he deserves kids of his own. I love that. I love that you're just, you're just going to make your own little fucking football team. I have to. You got to have a girl though.

You need a girl. We'll see. It's time. Cause I mean, you got four boys. You need two twin girls. I'm speaking it into your life. Okay. I'll thank you so much for coming on the podcast.

You're a real doll. I love you, dude. Please come back. I love you. I will. I absolutely will. All right. Shout out where everybody can find you. Haven't been able to find you haven't found me. You don't know who I am at kale. Lowry on all platforms. Yay. That's pretty simple. Thank you guys for tuning into another episode of dumb blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye.