Dumb Blonde - TBT: Tonesa Welch

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

Bunnie welcomes Tonesa Welch, also known as the First Lady of BMF. Tonesa shares her journey from growing up in Detroit to her rise in the drug trade, her relationship with H, and how she got through abuse and betrayal to come out on the other side. Tonesa opens up to Bunnie about what she learned from her time in prison and her passion for prison reform advocacy and gets raw about navigating grief along the way.Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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That's z-o-c-d-o-c dot com slash bunny. B-u-n-n-i-e. Zocdoc.com slash bunny. What's up you sexy motherfuckers? Today I am really excited about this podcast, especially because we're doing it during Mob Wife March, but this is something a little different, someone who has a different story, but it's so amazing and it's so cool. And I just really admire this woman. She's a motivational speaker, producer and director, uh, survivor, mother, boss, and the first lady of VMF, Ms.

Honisa Welch. Thank you. Did I do okay? Thank you. I'm so okay? You did okay. Thank you. I'm so happy to have you here. Thank you. Thanks for it. I'm honored.

Thanks for having me. Thanks for asking me to be here. You're beautiful. Oh, so are you. You walked in and I was like, she is so cute. She's sort of like this tiny little package. Like you are just so cute. Thank you.

So, okay. So for people who don't know who you are You are the first lady of BMF and I don't know if anybody that listens to my podcast It is a BMF fan. I'm sure they are I know my husband is Jelly is a BMF fan like he has made me watch every season and all that stuff, but Besides that show there's a real story behind that TV show, and it's your story, and it's your story to tell, and that's why I want you on the podcast.

So we're gonna start from like the very beginning. Detroit, baby, right? Detroit, yes. So where did you grow up? I grew up in Detroit, Michigan, on the west side of Detroit, you know, middle class family. Grew up with my three brothers, my mom and my stepdad, normal middle class family.

Hey, didn't think that enough. I just, hey, living that normal innocent life, you know? Yes. Yeah. Never any drugs, sex and rock and roll. It was just like that. Come from a household. My mom was adopted, but still the sweetest mother ever

once she got her children. No drugs in the house, no violence, none of that I seen, you know. Everything seemed pretty normal. What happened to me, I don't know. You know, I completely understand it because I was very attracted to the street life too. I ran away from home at 14 and started supporting myself.

So your story really resonated with me because, you know, we both kind of came from similar backgrounds and then just to go out and live completely opposite of how we were raised is wild. But sometimes we just have a journey to fulfill and that's why we came here, you know? So moving on from that, you know, you're I think you got pregnant around 18.

Can you take me on that journey? I got pregnant at 18. I had my first son at 19, and that was from my high school. Well, my high school sweetheart, well, he's always out of school, but we started dating when I was 15 years old. He was in his last year of high school, and then he was my boyfriend from then on. College kid, smart, never got into trouble,

anything, you know, just hey. I just knew I was attracted to this older boy, and then he got out of school, and he would still come pick me up after school, but dated him all through high school. Oh, and then you guys ended up having a baby together. Yeah, we had a baby. Which is your first son.

He went on to college, followed him for a minute, and then, yeah. Yeah, and then she was like, no, I'm gonna do my thug, that's all. Do my thug, yeah. And then, what is your oldest son's name? I forget. Marlon. Marlon, okay.

And then, so take me on this journey of when you were 19, you went to, what was the name of the club? The Rooster Tail. The Rooster Tail, which was like a popular venue. It was a popular venue in Detroit, but it was popular for more of the people on the East side of Detroit. I don't know if you have any viewers that's from Detroit

know about the East side versus the West side, but it was East Side club. And I was 19 years old, had never been to a club like that. I don't think I ever went to a club. That was probably my first time going to a club. And I went near them, it was like I went and I always say like a revolving door. You know how you go through a revolving door?

I felt like my whole, when I reflect on my life, I think about, wow, you went in as one person, but once you, the night ended, you came out as a different person, the way I seen things. And why do you think that was? Was it just like the glitz and the glamor? It was the glitz and the glamor.

It was beautiful, you know. In my eyes, it was beautiful. Might not be right, but to me, it was beautiful. The people looked amazing. I was this girl from, like I said, the west side of Detroit, grew up, went to high school, dated one guy all the way through high school. It was a different world to me.

When I seen it, I'm like, whoa, I wanna be a part of this. Right. You know, I don't belong over here. I wanna be a part of this. Everybody looked amazing amazing from the jewels to the hair to the clothes. And I always call myself like a fashionable person

when I was like going up through school and stuff like that. So, but seeing that fashion there, you know, in Detroit, you feel like we're very fashionable, but seeing that fashion, I wanted to be a part of that. You know, just turned me right out. Right? Right out, this is where I wanted to be a part of that. Just turned me right out. Right out, this is where I need to be. Little mama got turned out.

So after going to that club, how long after that did you meet Harold? I met him, he was at the club. In the club that night. He was from the East Side, and Harold, they called him H, in, they call him H. And he was known to be very fashionable. So just looking at him also, he was young and most of the people there were a little older than him.

But he was older than me, but they were older than him and that was his crowd, his group of people that he hung out with. And so he kind of stood out to me because of what he had on. But then he caught my eye, we caught each other's eyes, but I was still young and very impressionable, and I was like, wow, okay.

Yeah, just seeing him, you know, like everything he had on from the jewels, from the clothes, you know, just, everything he had on from the jewels, from the clothes, you know, just something different than I was used to. Did he pursue you immediately? Oh my God, yes. Yeah, he was like, I want her. Something that I never had seen before.

He didn't give up, yeah. And whenever he, and in the movie that you have, The Lady of BMF on BET+, you guys can watch it anytime, it shows, like, Carole going to your dad's house, and to your parents' house to pick you up, and your dad just does not like him. Stepdad, correct? Yeah, your stepdad just did not like him.

And could he tell that he was not good for you? He could tell right away, but you know, we don't wanna listen to our parents. Ever. I didn't. They don't know anything. Like you don't know anything, you don't know. So yeah, right away it was kinda like, uh-uh.

Can you take me on this relationship with H? On this journey? At first it was very, you know, very exciting. He took me out a lot, he treated me very nice. He bought me things right away. You know, you didn't have to wait. You know, I didn't have to wait on my little check treated me very nice. He bought me things right away. You didn't have to wait. I'd have to wait on my little check or my mom to buy me things.

How when you're in high school, your mom shops for you. We were very close and we would go shopping every weekend. But with him, it was like, he wanted me immediately to play the part, look the part. So immediately he started buying me things, you know. Do you think it was kind of like a form of grooming you? I don't, I don't know, you know, when you think of grooming, you're thinking like a pimp grooming his.

Right, no, I mean like grooming you for the lifestyle. Yeah, basically I think so, yeah, he could have been. You know, I don't think he maybe thought in his head, but I think I really know that when he first, he was very attracted to me and he just wanted, was always a guy from the East Side, probably wanted a girl from the West Side and I was different from probably the girls

that he usually had been dating. I still had an innocence about me, even though I had a child. I still felt an innocence about me, even though I had a child, you know? I still felt like I had that in getting with him. He knew that, and he, like he said, maybe so. Probably was a grooming, you know? Yeah. So he's buying you all these gifts.

You guys officially are together. What happens after you guys get together? Oh, we just, I felt like it was just a whirlwind romance and we, you know, I'm excited about his lifestyle. I'm excited about the people that he's hanging with. I'm doing that now. I had started like the shopping, the cars, you know, the trips and things like that.

And then after that, I wanted to become a part of his world, whatever he was doing, I wanted to be a part of that. When you talk about his lifestyle, what do you mean? He was into selling drugs, you know, so. What was he selling, heroin? Heroin at first, and then it came, cocaine then next, yeah. Isn't that wild to think back, because I too dated drug dealers back in the day, and you're around all of these drugs at such a young age.

You're touching them, you're literally inhaling the fumes, packaging them, and it's like you are so, we have not a care in the world at that age. Not a care. I won't even be in the same room as drugs now. Now, now I don't wanna be around the same type as drugs now. Now, I don't want to be around the same type of people. But then it was the excitement. It was like.

It's the naiveness, I guess. Yeah, because I think of the laws now. When I do a lot about into prison reform, understanding the laws and things. And I'll be like, God, I could have been one of those people that got caught up and still would have been in prison because it is people that I know that we're fighting for now

that been in prison for 30 years, it has done less than me. So when I think back about it, I'm around all these drugs immediately, having no fear. It was because you don't understand. You're very naive, you're ignorant to what could happen to you. All you thinking about was the excitement.

I was very excited about it all. It made me feel just as powerful as he did. Like I looked at him as he moved rooms, and I wanted to move rooms too. I wanted people to, hey, look at me. Look at me too, you know? Just boss mentality. Boss mentality, right?

And that's what came with it. It came with the boss mentality, Boss mentality, right? You know? And that's what came with it. It came with the boss mentality, the status, you know? We're in a city like Detroit. And I wanted to be a part of that. And it just, I had no fear, like you said, no fear. Yeah, no fear. So when did, did you start moving drugs for him? You know, people like for him,

like we were, I think we were more so a partnership. You know, wasn't for him, like he would send me out and then I would go do, like hey, you go take this run, you take this bag, you do this. I wanted to be his partner. No matter what he wanted me to do, you know, no, you stay here, you do this. No, I wanna be right there with you.

I can do this too. I always thought that. You know, I was talking to my brother not too long ago and he said, I wanna be right there with you. I can do this too. I always thought that, you know, I was talking to my brother not too long ago, and he said, I don't know what it was, and he's older than me, and he said, I don't know what it was. Even when you were a little girl,

you always had that kinda street mentality. I just didn't realize it. You know, probably even when I was playing in school or playing with my young people in my neighborhood, like even when I was playing in school or playing with my young people in my neighborhood. Like even when I was in high school, I didn't really wanna hang with the high school people. I wanted to be, because I had the older boyfriend, I wanted to be with the older crowd.

That's what my head was like, oh, you're all too young for me. I wanna do this. I'm grown. Don't tell me what to do. I'm grown, I always felt grown. I always felt like I had to take on the responsibilities of everyone else, you know?

Even though I had the three brothers, they were older, I always thought I was the big mom of the house. Right. Even from my mom and dad now, this is how this gonna go. Right. Running the household, so I wanted to, took that out into the streets with me.

So you guys were moving away for the East Side and then you guys, you convinced him to start expanding it to the West Side? Mm-hmm. Can you take that on that? And don't tell him I don't know why I said that. I just, I'm saying, why we stuck over here on the East Side when there's a lot more players on the West Side?

Yeah. And he thought about it because he didn't, you know, East Side people at that time, they didn't, we didn't coexist with one another. You know, the East Side, staying on the East Side and the West Side, staying on the West Side. But I felt like I'm your connection now to the East Side. I was popular because of myself and my brothers,

even though they wasn't in the street, they were just, you know, my one brother always gave the parties and my other brother't in the street, they were just, you know, my one brother always gave the parties, and my other brother was just the handsome, had all the girls, and so we were kinda popular. So I knew that if you came over there, I could find the people for you. And I knew that they would spend the money.

And to me back then, we were the wealthiest side of Michigan, of Detroit, even though it might not been because you do have some amazing East Side, beautiful pockets and beautiful homes, but it always seemed like to me the West Side was the more people that had the money. And so I said, let's go over there. She's like, let's go over here.

Let's expand, baby. Come over here, baby. So everything wasn't always flowers and butterflies, though. H also became. Very abusive. Can you take me on that journey? I really can't remember, like, you know, what's later on, the more power, the more drugs,

the more money, then the more violence, you know? And just started happening, you know? And when you look back, you're like, wow, this is, you know, you thought it was one time, and then you look up, it's, you know, repeatedly it's happened more and more often. You know, you think it's like, okay, maybe he was high, or maybe he was frustrated, or maybe something was going on. But later on in life, I realized that, you know, you think it's like, okay, maybe he was high or maybe he was frustrated or maybe something was going on.

But later on in life I realized that, you know, this is how he grew up and now he's a grown man taking out what happened to him on me, you know? It was a cycle. It was a cycle. And I was, you know, you stay thinking on trying to fix this person or you think because they make you feel like I love you,

nobody else love you, I take care of you. You know, I felt like I can't go anywhere if I love, that he probably would kill me or do something, you know, because it got to that point, it got very violent, you know. What happens next? He comes home, he puts his hands on you one more time and what happens in that scenario? It got to the point where I'm like, why am I doing this?

Because I always knew I was a strong person and I don't know what it was about him that in the beginning I allowed it or why was I you know fearing him and I thought about I'm like okay that's enough you know you have these sons around here they're watching this you have to protect yourself you know I'm out here protecting everybody else watching his back you got to protect yourself so I waited. I knew he was gonna come home this one time

and I said, okay, I'm gonna prepare myself. In my mind I thought like, I'm gonna kill him tonight. I didn't think about the consequences of it. I just knew that he was gonna come home and that was gonna be the last time he put his hands on me. And so it happened exactly like I thought. He was gonna come home, he was gonna be violent, jump on me, and I had already put the knife under my pillow

and I just waited. I pretended I was asleep and I waited and that's when I stabbed him. I really wanted to, like I said, I really wanted to kill him. I was fed up, you know. I'm glad I didn't because even when they arrested me and I went to the county jail, and that's back then that was when the person

had to press charges on you for it to stick. So he didn't press charges, but I realized when I was in the county jail and the officers were saying, you better hope, bitch, you better hope not, I'm sorry. But they were saying, bitch, you better hope you didn't kill him, you better hope you didn't kill him. And as I'm laying in my bunk, I thought about it.

Why don't you just leave? Why don't you just leave? What if he is dead? Because I didn't know what happened. I knew the police came, they took him away, but you don't hear anything else. And I said, what if he dies? I won't get to see my kids anymore.

That really scared me. That really had affected me for a while. It's traumatic too, that you got pushed to that point. Yeah, why did I let myself. Leave me the fuck alone, don't touch me. And during this time, you and H actually had a child together too also. So you had two babies at this time.

Yeah, we had three. I had two, yeah, we had three. And I'm sitting there like, why am I allowing this? And then why did you get to the point where you have to kill a person before you decide to leave? You know, like I had plotted it out, like, oh, he's gonna die tonight. I think I told my friends, oh, he's gonna die tonight.

And I didn't have the kind of friends who would say, oh, girl, don't do that, you just need to leave. Yeah, kill him. We gotta love our girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need me to help, you need me to come over? I mean, it was so many things that happened in our lives. He would blow up my car, I would go blow up his car.

It was just getting to the point of craziness. It was tit for tat. Tit for tat, and I had the friends, type of friends, that wouldn't say at that point in time, just leave. You don't have to take this, you out here, you selling more than he can sell. You doing your own thing. You matter fact, you're doing more.

And that could have been happening too. You had these men that get very insecure and jealous of your power also. He didn't have no more control over me. And once a man start thinking they're losing control, what do they do? They do things like that. And I think all of that played a part.

I was becoming more popular on the don't know what side people were. I was getting a lot of attention. I wasn't looking like this 19-year-old girl anymore. I'm looking like this pretty fabulous, stylish grown woman. I'm wearing these clothes, these jewels. I'm having the power to, and I think that started a lot of it,

even though he grew up into it, that was the way that he could control me by beating on me. Men are something else, let me tell you. They build you up to tear you down. Tear you down, yeah. Like it's wild, it's a cycle. I was in an abusive relationship myself and I got to the point that you did where I was just like,

I told him I bought a gun and I was like, if you put your hands on me one more time, I'm gonna blow your fucking brains out. And like, you really mean it. You really mean it in your heart. Get to that point where you're just like, I don't care what the consequences are, you're not gonna hurt me anymore.

Right, and I can say it wasn't until I was laying in that cell in that county jail, thinking about it like, wow, if you go to prison, you're gonna go to prison for the rest of your life. Because back then, we didn't have the laws that we have in place for women now. We're become, where we are victims. So many women were getting locked up,

they didn't know anything about self-defense or anything like that. They think, oh, you should have left. You stay there. They think of it as you premeditated it, but sometimes it happens in the instinct. You're just like, oh, I'm gonna kill him. Crime of passion.

Crime of passion, yeah. This is the only way I can get out. I work in domestic violence with a lot of women and they feel like there's no way out. And I've been there, I was younger and I thought there was no way out. How can I get out of this? He's always gonna find me.

If you're watching the movie, they didn't show a lot of it. He will always, always come find me. No matter if I leave, he would always come find me. No matter where I was at. And it was like that all the time, you know? Just moving, moving, moving. Then here he come, here he come, then I'm back in. I'm back in that psycho.

Because then you get addicted to the toxicity, I guess, or the fighting, or you feel like. It's the oxytocin of whenever you guys do get, it becomes like a drug. It does, and you think in your head, this person really loves me. Yeah, they're so possessive, so jealous, that's love. We think it's love, and it's not love, it's control.

No, that's all it is. It's really control and it's their egos. Their egos, yeah. You're literally just stroking their ego by staying in that relationship. Yeah, absolutely. So even though you got out of jail and he got out of the hospital,

you guys still stayed together. Yeah, in the movie it looks like we got right back together but it was a minute, you know, that, let's just say. They just wear you down. They just wear you down, these kids, I love my kids, and he's crying and you feel like, I gotta say this person too, you know? Like, I felt, you feel in the back of your head

that he has nobody but you. I understood by him talking to me all the time how he grew up. I didn't grow up like that. So I'm like, somebody gotta love this little man. You know? You hear me? I'm thinking I'm saving him, but really it was like,

I always say it was like it was somewhere as a little young girl that I was damaged somewhere. I was dealing with a lot of issues that I didn't understand that I felt like I needed to stay there. I didn't never, like I said, never seen my parents do this. So what made me feel like I had to save this person? Were you ever close with your father, your real father?

Not my biological father. And as we grow older, we do find that all. It's probably dad. It's a wound. It's a wound. The wound, not the love. Trauma bond. Yeah, trauma bond.

Not thinking, like I knew my stepdad was, I thought he was just the meanest person ever to me. But I think as I grew older and understood, he was always trying to protect me, always. And I thought, I don't wanna be protected. I don't wanna do this. You know, I was always fighting it. But you stayed with H because he protected you.

Yeah. Isn't that wild? Yeah. It's crazy, right? So we don't want it from the parents, but we want it from. Right, yeah. So I didn't have the relationship with my biological dad

until I was much older. Actually they show it in a movie and it was probably at that point. You know, I was much older and my mom like, you know, maybe this is the missing part. Maybe this is what you need, you know. Yeah, to help fill that void. Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely. It's always cathartic to bring the parents back, even if you've never had a relationship with them. And even if you don't even like who they are as humans, at least you get that sort of closure. Closure, right. Of like, okay, this is. Why?

Yeah, because it was a question, why didn't you come see me? Why didn't you love me? And he was like, he thought it was best once my mom married my stepdad, because they got together when I was a baby, and he thought it was best. But I'm thinking like, no,

you thought it was best for you or him, but it wasn't best for me. And after that, I thought I understood it, we talked about it, then as I grew, until thought I understood it, we talked about it, then, you know, as I grew, you know, until he left the surf, we grew closer. So I had two amazing dads that even once I would,

they, you know, we all got together, they became good friends. You know what I mean? It was like when I, even when I went to prison, my biological dad didn't understand the whole lifestyle. And so we didn't tell him I was going to prison, but he got very ill when I was in prison. And my stepdad was the one that made way sure

that he wouldn't check on him all the time to let me know what was going on. So when I would call home, you know, if I don't know if anybody know about the prison phones, they say this whole recording. So I had my nephew on the other side with my biological dad. My dad, he's got the phone and they're like,

okay, once the recording said, this call is from an inmate or such and such, they will have my biological dad, the phone who was very ill at this time, to let me say what I had to say until the day he died. He still didn't know I was in prison. Oh my gosh. He didn't even realize that he went into the dementia

and then he passed away before I came home. That had to have been as heartbreaking as it is. It was very heartbreaking. I wasn't able to go home to his burial. That was heartbreaking. That was another breaking point for me. As realizing, like you put yourself here, you didn't get to see him pass away.

Those are the moments that when you're in prison that you realize, hey, you gotta do something about this. Something's gotta get. I did. And I had a prison counselor, and I have to tell this story. It was, I was caught out custody, so at the end of my prison term,

I could go out and work in the city, the surrounding city, so it's called out custody. So when they told me that my father had passed, the chaplain had came and that my father had passed, the chaplain, they came and told my father had passed. And he's told me I was able, you know, I could go home to the funeral, but I had to go make the arrangements with my counselor.

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1159 p.m. Eastern Time So when I went to tell us hey, I know you heard that my dad died I want to go home so funeral, go to the funeral. She said, can I curse? I guess that's what she said. Oh yeah, no we cuss up a storm there. She said, fuck you bitch, fuck your family, fuck your dad, fuck your mama,

and fuck your motherfucking kids. You shouldn't have came to prison bitch, now get the fuck out my office. And this woman as a counselor? A counselor in the prison. When I first went to this prison, I went to two different prisons. The anger's real.

Yeah, and you think okay I'm here to be rehabilitated but she gave me such a hard time. When I first went on the prison grounds, I was walking the yard, it's called the yard, trying to just figure out what's going on in my world here. And one of the guards came up to me, said, you're new here, right? And I said, yeah, he said, you're gonna have a hard time.

I didn't have a fear of the women. That wasn't, I've been in the streets forever, so I'm not scared of the women. I have been in more danger than this. I can handle this. And he said, no, you're gonna, he said, who's your counselor? I told him, I said, her name is Ms. Stockings.

I reached out to her since I've been home and just to ask her why. And he says, she's gonna give you a hard time. You're a nice looking woman and she's gonna give you a hard time. And when I tell you, the last part of my bit was the hardest time of my life. By her saying that, that was almost coming home,

but I had to deal with her for like 18 months straight. Taking my visits, taking my commissary, taking my phone calls. It was just madness all the time. Did she do it out of love or was she just an evil human? Oh, she was just an evil human. It's so hard for me to wrap my head around somebody being that evil to a human.

Oh no, it was the heart and I used to pray all the time. I met an older lady that did and by the time we met she had already been down like 20 something years. And she would always tell me, she said, don't let her see you cry, don't let her see you break. I'm like, I'm not gonna cry. That's what I'm not gonna do. But she's like, whatever you do. And so every time something would happen,

she was like, that's going to God. And she would walk and pray with me. Like, you're gonna get through this, you're gonna get through this. But every day, can you imagine like, oh, I'm not gonna make it through this. I'm not gonna make it through this. I don't make it through the battles of the street.

But here I come here. And I'm feeling, you it through this. I don't make it through the battles of the street. But here I come here and I'm feeling, you gotta fight your way through it every day. Not even a good night's sleep because you don't know when you're gonna become, she's gonna come wake you up out of your sleep. Or you have, I have sons who, she took away my phone privileges. I can't even call home to see how they're doing.

And that was all through that, it was just my break-in point. Like, you know what, I'll never, ever, ever put myself in this predicament again in life. So yeah. Let's circle back to talk about what actually put you in prison. We're gonna paint a, I wanna paint a picture

because you have such an amazing story and just the redemption, and what you've done after you've gotten out of prison too, is just beautiful. And I want everybody to just know every facet of what you've had to go through to get to where you are today. So you and H got back together,

and you guys expanded your business into Texas? Went to Texas, well Chicago first, then Texas, yeah. And then he got caught up. Right. And when he got caught up, it was me left to here and for myself, you know. It was decide if you wanna, what do you wanna do if you wanna stay, you know. You wanna go to work or you wanna continue on

doing what you were doing. By this time, I'm addicted to the lifestyle, I'm addicted to the money and all of it. You know, like you say, the power of it, the people looking at me and ask, you know, they have to come, you know, everybody has to come to me and get things and ask me for things and do this. So I'm like, I wanna do this.

So you go on and handle that. I was like, no, I want you. I'm like, I got this, I got this. So he goes to sit down for seven years, correct, this time. And before that, he had brought in two people to help you guys with your business. And who were those two people? Those people were Southwest T and Demetrius Finley,

you know, the leaders of the BMS. And as for your listeners that don't know, you can go back and relate to the music like with Rick Ross, I wish I was Big Meach. Big Meach, Larry Whoopack. Blowing money fast, you know all the rap music that's surrounded around the two brothers. So yeah, he brought them around

and because the business was expanding and it was like okay, we can't do this all alone and then we already had some people, but you still have to bring in more people as the business is expanding. And so he told me, he said, hey, I met these two young guys, I'm gonna bring them around, you see what you think.

I said, okay. So we set up a meeting point and that's when I first met them. Terry says that it was love at first sight. Oh. Yeah. How did you feel whenever you first saw Terry? I just thought they were young kids.

You know, I'm nine years older than him. And when I looked at him, I was just like, okay, a group of young kids he's bringing into work, you know, not like they're juvenile, but they were, I think Terry's like 18, 19, something like that. And I didn't think nothing I think Terry was like 18, 19, something like that. And I didn't think nothing of it, I just like, oh, okay. You know, introduction, look for a minute, you know.

They're all right. And I just didn't think nothing of it, and they continued to work around us. And Terry was around us a lot more than Demetrius was, the big meech was. And so that's why when me and him, Terry, I mean, I'm sorry, H used to always have Terry like watch her back, do this.

And so we became like, he was my confidant. He was the person that if I'm always, you know, you always gotta complain. You're always talking about something. You always complaining about, I'm always complaining about something, you're always complaining about, I'm always complaining about H, so he was there, the person that was there to listen. You guys developed a friendship.

We developed a friendship, a closer friendship than H knew about, so. Right, so H goes away for seven years, but he doesn't leave you with much money. Well, I don't know, that's not that I don't want people to say. H is a type of person. He has a lot of money, but he's not gonna leave you enough that you could just splash.

Be squandered. Squandered, yeah. I was good in a way. I still just wanted my own. I wanted my own. I wanted to be independent because I knew once he was. He had a chance to be free.

That's what I was gonna say, just to be free because I knew, it took him about a year or so before he was sentenced and he had to go away. I knew once he went away that this was gonna be the end of us. And it helped me break away from him. It was much easier. I had already knew that when he come home from prison,

that I was gonna be on my own away from him. I didn't know I was gonna develop this romantic relationship with Terry, but I knew I wasn't gonna be back with my ex-husband who was age. And you just wanted to do your own thing. I just wanted to do my own. I just wanted to be independent.

I just felt like I could, I felt like he was holding me back. Right, and women also before a relationship ends, you've already in your mind. I've already in my mind. But because it's a toxic relationship, an abusive relationship, he's not letting you go while he's out on the streets. That's how I had to get rid of,

I don't wanna say get rid of, but that's how I actually was able to break it off with my abusive ex was he went to prison. And it was like, I remember the day he went to prison, I was really upset, but at the same time, I was like, thank God. Thank God you're free. I don't have to worry about fighting

and fucking fighting and fighting. All the bullshit that comes with it. It's weird that you said you'd be upset, like, oh my God, he's gone to prison, I feel bad. You have fighting and fucking fighting and fighting. Just all the bullshit that comes with it. It's weird that you said you'd be upset, like oh my God, he's gone to prison, I feel bad. I'm like, you're soaking at a minute. They're like, what is going on with you? You're free.

Yeah, I mean, what is I got? Do your thing. It's like your wings spread out immediately. Yeah, and you realize who you are. He just kinda holding me back. So yeah. So take me back. Yep. So yeah. So take me on this journey.

You are single, ready to mingle, technically. Mingling, honey. Yeah. I was mingling. Just out there like a free bird, like air. I was hanging, you know? Just everywhere. I was traveling.

I was just all, you know, at the clubs. I was, you know, me and my girls, we were just mobbing out as they called it. We thought we were the baddest. Couldn't tell us nothing. Those were the best times of life though. Like you're invincible. Yes, and that's how we felt.

Like you said, you feel free, you don't have nobody to answer to anymore, you know? I'm the boss now, I can do what I wanna do. And Terry was always kind of somewhere in the back, you know, somewhere in the back, you know, kind of watching or, you know, or mingling with us if you wanna say, but it was never a thought of me being romantic with him.

Like I say, it was younger. And then as time went on, that happened later on in life. Now how they have it in the BMF stars movie, I was very upset about that because why would, you know, you put me in a movie, like he's a kid, like he's in high school, I'm chasing behind this high school kid. Because I had already developed myself as a boss,

I was dating a boss, why would I chase a high school? I guess women do it, but not I, not me. Having me having sex in at my job or around my children with this kid who's still carrying around his school books. You just feel like you deserved more respect. Just more respect. Why couldn't you, you know,

if you didn't want me involved in your story, I get that, okay, I understand. But don't do me like that. Give me some type of respect because no matter what, when I tell my story and I talk about them, I give them respect. I can only tell the story how it happened.

You know, it wouldn't be truthful if I didn't tell you how I met them respect. I can only tell the story how it happened. You know, it wouldn't be truthful if I didn't tell you how I met them. I'm sorry that you met me under my ex-husband, that's how I met you. I can't tell the story any different. Then it wouldn't be truthful, it wouldn't be my story, it wouldn't be the way I seen it, I lived through it. So the way I lived through it, that's how I met you guys.

I wasn't a person that was chasing this kid. And like always, what I said now is I was already the kid. Like you know how your beautiful truck outside, you know when you pull it up, it's already you. It's already fancy. I felt like when they met me, I was already that person. So you didn't have to tear your meets, didn't have to develop who I already was.

I was already in the streets doing my thing. When I came around, I was already with the jewels, the furs, the cars, the homes. So when I tell the story, tell it the way it is. Make me or my ex-husband, which is my children's father, I'm sorry, look bad because he never speaks on them. They put him in the movie and made him look so bad. They put me in the movie and I felt.

When she says movie, just to tell you, sorry. When she says movie, she's talking about the BMF show, actually, not her movie. Not my movie, yes, yeah, not my movie. So I just wanna clarify. Yes, that's what I'm clarifying. There I just wanna clarify. Yeah, thanks for clarifying that. There's Lady of BMF movie that you can watch on BET+, and then there's BMF, which is their series,

which we'll get into that in a little bit and talk about that. Yeah, but that's how it happened. So in one day, he's under me, and I don't know, whatever that was going through, maybe. So you actually got your own plug. Yeah. And started sound on your own.

Started to do my own thing. Yeah. Big mama. Big mama, right? Little mama, little mama, little body, been licked by mama. Yeah. Right?

Right. Like pinky in the brain. Right, yeah. Yeah, so. Like the Wizard of Oz, you know, by in the curtain. But it's like you just have no fear when you're that age. It's none. And I think back sometimes I had so much drugs

or was around so much drugs. And I think like when I reflect back, like girl you could have never came home. I would never have been sitting on this couch, you know, if I had gotten caught in with the things I had. Yeah. And why did, like you said, no fear. The people we surrounded ourselves with,

I wanted to be, they look, no, they don't look dangerous enough. I need to go over here, you know? I wanted to be with the risk takers, you know? Every time you got away with something, you felt even better. It's a rush. It's a rush, you're like a drug rush or something.

I'm like, whoa, okay, we can do that again. I'll tell you what you're doing, it's your heart's about out here. And then like, okay, did that. Then there goes your ego, bigger and bigger. Now I'm feeling more powerful than a man who are age. I can do this, I can do this on my own. I don't need nobody.

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Can we take me on that journey? It was like, you know, they like they, it was like, why, you know, I had all this money. I had been with this man who has all this money. And even when he went to prison, he still had money. And I couldn't understand, y'all, you know, like, Tia, you've been in this life for a long time. By this time, I'm knowing you about five, about seven years.

Where's the stability? You know, what's going on? You were up, down, up, down. He never had, they never had like an abundance of drugs. They never had a great plug. That's what I would call it. Like I had the. There's a reason for that.

Yeah. Right? They didn't have a plug. You watch the movie, there's a reason for that. Yeah, right, you see, yeah. And so I looked at him, he was there, and I was like, God, you know, this was all the time, and I was talking to him, I was like,

I don't know, I just can't get it together, and I'm sitting here trying to always groom this person. I didn't realize that I'm grooming him. And one day I was like. You wanted to make him a boss. I wanted to make, he was my friend, you're with me. I had this special love for him, not the romantic love yet. And I wanted him, I felt like this is my friend,

this is my dog, we always riding together, we hanging. I wanted him to be on the level I was. So I said, I gotta help you, tell me what it is. So I said, I'm gonna help you, I'm gonna help you get it. And then once you get it, you better keep it. I did tell him, I said, and I forgot I had said this, it just, I don't know why I said it. I felt like a millionaire,

I felt like, you know, they just a millionaire, so I'm gonna help you be a millionaire. And I said, I want you to change. Don't change for the money, stay as you are, but I'm gonna help you become a millionaire. And that's what happened.

I gave him the plug, you work it, you do this, he was really listening and it was working. And then it just took off. And one day it just took off and he was like, you can sit back now. I'm like, woo, woo for me, cause I was tired.

You kids like, yeah, you're like, yeah, I'm tired, I'm poor, I'm, you know, sometimes you be, cause you always think like, that day might come, you know? I have been around, I'm watching I'm at, you know, sometimes you be, because you always think like that day might come, you know, and I have been around, I'm watching so many other people go down and I'm always, you know, just there, you know, getting by, getting by, you know, and I'm like,

okay, you gotta quit this one day, you gotta get, you know, my boys are getting older, you gotta quit this. And when he said it was like a sign of relief, he can take over now, like, boom. And then when he- But you obviously trusted him. Oh yeah, trusted him. And you thought he was capable of being able to run it.

I knew he was, I knew Tare was very smart, and I knew he was capable of it, but I think he had so many other responsibilities. In the movie, they make it seem like Meach was the most powerful one, but actually it was Terry. And Terry was actually carrying on that burden for him and Meach.

So I think that was, you know, when you don't have enough drugs, it's kind of hard to be sharing with somebody, you know, I'm gonna make this money and I gotta share, you know, this little bit with you and I think that was the thing that they could never get it going, you know. And so once he started getting the supply,

the bigger supply, he brought me in. Now we can really work, we can keep moving, we can push better. And then from there, once you start meeting one connect, it's kinda like clickish, everybody knows. Like you said, everything is a click to me, from the police to attorneys, drug dealers, pimps, everybody, and everybody kinda whisper and knows.

So once you're selling so much weight that goes to the next connect, they hear about you. A word on the street, I hear you take it to the next connect. They hear about you, a word on the street, I hear you take it to the next city, your name is already ringing. His name started ringing in that circle and then they took it on to the next level, to the next level, to the next level.

What was your relationship with Meach? Did you guys ever have a relationship as far as like a friendship? You know, it was on and off, but I believe that when, you know, and I'm not afraid to say it, at this point I used to didn't, I believe it was a lot of jealousy, you know,

because he had this little, Terry was a younger brother, then he, Terry is, now Terry's not under him no more, Terry is spread in his wings, Terry's with this older woman, and they couldn't believe it. So I'm grooming him to be not this little boy anymore, this young man, because by the time we started our relationship, I think he was about 20, he was like 25.

He was just my friend at first. But I'm telling him, you gotta dress like this. You gotta do like this. You gotta hang. You gotta do. You gotta do. Gaming him up. Gaming him up telling him, you gotta dress like this, you gotta do like this, you gotta hang. You gotta do. You gotta do. Gaming him up. Gaming him up, really, you know I am gaming him up. Literally.

And I think that was a little jealousy there. And so he felt like I was taking his brother and now he doesn't have the control. Now we're doing everything. This has become my friend and they're not together anymore. So I think it was a lot of jealousy and that. I mean with the whole family, he's no longer running over there,

he's hanging over here with me and my people. Gotcha. So the business is taking off, you guys are making money hand over fist, you're getting to lay up and be mama bear to the babies and just live the life. And life is really good for a while there. And then Terry starts showing signs of kind of like

getting a little too big for his britches. And you're saying, hey. Hey, yeah, hey. Take me on this part of the journey. Yeah, I mean, you know, if you've been around, I've been around a long time. You know, when we first started this conversation, I was young, I was 19, 20 years old.

So I had been to this, I've been on this rodeo a long time. You know, I've already seen so many people fall. But the bigger they got, the more the eagles and the things they were doing, it was like, I had never seen, like I've been in a game so long, I'd never seen people that show people like, hey, it was like they were writing it on their shirts

and wearing a t-shirt. We are drug dealers. You know, like. No. Well, because they had named themselves BMF, correct? Right, and it was like a chain. Yeah, but the BMF came because they wanted, they did legitimately want to start a record label.

Right. But the way that they went about, Meach went about doing a record label, you're selling, don't forget you're doing illegal things. And you can't be out there thinking, first get the company, start the company, let go the drugs and then you can do whatever you wanna do. But you can't mix the two and it was always, everything had to be over the top.

And that grew, that started a lot of tension and that's when me and Terry started that because I'm like, you guys gonna get me indicted, you gonna get me indicted, you guys gonna get me indicted. And I would say it like all the time and so I don't know if I manifested that, but in my mind, I knew it.

I didn't all of it. You can feel it, the women's intuition. Yeah, no matter how many times I could have a good time, but after the good time, I go right back to it. This is gonna end soon, this is gonna end soon. And it's fast, they always say it was a long time. You know, the longest running BMF wasn't. BMF with them started like in 2002,

and by 2005, we were indicted. 2002, and we were indicted. And all those times, I don't even know how it lasted that long because I had already felt like they were doing too much. And I was very quiet. Like even when people from my hometown didn't know, they always thought that I'm getting taken care of

by the man. They didn't know that I was doing my own thing. So in the back, in the shadows, even when the prosecutor and you know, indicted me, she said, oh I know about you, you know, I know about you. You think you don't got away with some stuff this time. She's like, but I'ma get you, I'ma get you. I'm like, I ain't did nothing, sugar.

You know, you can't get me, cause I had already, you know,'ma get you. I'm like, I ain't did nothing, sugar. You can't get me, because I had already pulled back, and about time they started, it was a lot for me. But when I sit back and look at the whole thing, I had jumped into the fire, into the fire pan, because I had left H, and jumped into this, and never really pulling back,

and I was just moving. I was damaged by this time already, just damaged. Not really fixing who I was. You know, you gotta think, you're already out of this abusive relationship. You didn't fix yourself, you just jumped into another mixed up, crazy, toxic world. And that's what, I was just always on that rollercoaster,

always on that rollercoaster. So that's what happened. It was like. Was this the time that he had brought your children in to start working for him? It was my oldest son, my three nephews and my cousin. They all got involved in it. And at the time I say, when I push back,

my son was in Detroit. We were in Los Angeles by this time. And I didn't know why, I'm thinking like, Terri, don't go back to Detroit. You go back to Detroit, you're gonna get in trouble. You're gonna get us indicted. Don't go back to Detroit. Just keep that behind you.

It's no longer, act like it's no longer as this, you know, in that world behind you. It's no longer, act like it's no longer exist in that world for you. But my oldest son, he always was very close to my mom and he thought he was the prince of Detroit. So he didn't wanna come to LA like that. So Terry and them had their whole secret relationship. Terry was bringing in my whole family in which. Even after you told him not to.

Not to, don't get my family involved. I had the whole conversations with my sons and my nephew, don't get involved in this. And you know, it's still, even though he brought him in, I still felt a lot responsible for it. You know, I held a lot of regret even when I went to prison and they went to prison because I feel like, I still, even though without Terry,

I still myself was in the streets. So even if me and Terry hadn't gotten together, that was my life. After Harold went to prison, my ex-husband went to prison, the streets was still my life, no matter if I had the little job, side job, and thinking I'm throwing people off. After work, before work, the streets was my job.

That's what I did. That's the only thing they knew. You know, I made it seem so easy. Right, you feel like you made the appeal to them. Yeah, I made it appealing. You know, I said if I was a doctor, a lawyer, an attorney or something, maybe that wouldn't have been so appealing to them.

But I made it so easy, the money was easy, they wanted that power and ego too, and they fell right into that hole with me. So even though I can be upset with him, I still have to take the responsibility for myself. Like look lady, no matter who you would have been with or what, you were still doing your thing and you showed them that it was easy.

No matter how much you fought for them not to be in it, you still showed them that this was the life and I made it look easy. That's heavy. That's heavy. It's a heavy cross to bear because it's like, you know, you wanna have accountability but you also wanna be able to point fingers at Terry too.

Yeah, I wanted to but you still have to understand that you know, you chose this life too. You brought them in at a younger age. You know, Terry wasn't the first one. My ex-husband was a street guy so what would I expect? ex-husband was a street guy. So what would I expect? It's like 70% of women that are in the streets are incarcerated.

70% of your offsprings, one of them are going to end up in prison. Wow. That is, that statistic is high, right? That's high. It's very high. That's insane. So before you guys got indicted, you had taken a trip back to Detroit

and H had caught up with you. Is that a true part of your story? That's a true story. Can we talk about that? Because that was brutal. Yeah, it was brutal. But you know, I knew that. You know, even like, we would have the conversations

and even though he would try to act cool about it, I just knew him and I didn't trust him like that. And not that I didn't trust him before, I just knew him no matter how I said, oh, he's trying to catch up with me. So I wouldn't tell anybody when I would come back to Detroit. But I had a couple of friends that I were very close to. And my one friend, she always like,

when you come to Detroit, let me know, let me know, let me know. And I knew, you know, something told me all the time, why would she, you don't wanna see me that bad. You know, but I just, I felt it in my soul and in my spirit. It was telling me, no, something, oh. But I told her, okay. I did it at first, I felt it in my soul and in my spirit. It was telling me, no, it's something off. But I told her, okay. I did it at first, I told her okay.

And I did show up. She invited me out. Her and Harold had this secret relationship. My ex-husband, one of the viewers, they had this secret relationship. But he did it, after we talked about it, he did it because of that. He was, that's the way he was trying to get back at me.

He was gonna date my friends, he was gonna date, he was gonna date Terry's ex-baby mama, but he was like, nah, he tried that, looked at him like, I can't do that, he can't, I can't, you see how he did it. But yeah. But. The shade.

The shade, right? It's all right. I'm just kidding. But he said, so he was, that was intentional on his part. And he did it to get, that's the only way he could convince me, because he would always try to convince me to come meet him, come see him.

I'm like, no, I'm not doing that. And so she convinced me to go out when I come back to Detroit, and that's what happened. I pulled up to the bar to meet her, and I changed my mind. It's something like God was just talking to me. Don't go in, go home, don't go in. I looked at the bar, I'm like, I'm going home.

And before I could get home, that's when he crashed into me. He actually had the gun, and he, I don't remember this part, but as you know, time went on, we talked about it. He said he actually pulled the gun out and pointed it to like my head, and something said, don't do it.

He said it was like a person. He beat you up, just to clarify. He really beat me. Pulled you out of the car. Pulled me out the car, beat me really bad and then at the end of the beating it was supposed to be the shooting. He was supposed to shoot me but he said something.

He said when he looked around, nobody was around. The street was very dark but he said he could hear it clear as day, don't do it. And he said he walked away, I mean, jumped in his car and left, left me there. And then the next thing I knew, I'm in the hospital. This is the mother of your children.

You know, like how could you? How? Yeah. They don't think about that. They just think about the anger. They think of it as jealousy. They think of it as betrayal. No, the betrayal started a long time ago.

When you were beating me years before that or cheating on me before that and he thought that, you know, he thought I left because of Terry. No, I left because of you. You, you, Terry, if Terry never existed, I wasn't gonna be back with you, you know. What is your relationship like with H today?

It's good, you know, we don't talk all the time. He's actually about to get married, you know. Lucky her. We could coexist, you know, even though the boys are older, we could talk, have conversations. He's the one that actually when I was about to do the first Trap Queens and talk about it, I had to sit down with, I sat down with my sons

and asked them if they feel okay with it, because I never talked about my abuse. You know, it was a thing that I just walked the life and it was inside of me. Nobody never really knew how I felt about it, how internally how I turned out. But after talking to him, I said, hey, I'm gonna tell my story.

And he said, you should. And I said, I'm gonna have to tell you that you should. He said, women should know that this could happen to them. He said, I'm gonna have to tell you, he said you should. He said women should know that this could happen to them. He said, I'm not that person no more. And he apologized so, like he told me stories that I had never heard about him. And the apology that he gave me, like it was so receiving to me.

Like I never, you know how people say, you don't need that apology. You never get the apology. You don't need to get, you okay. I thought that, but once I got it from them, this most sincere apology behind the story, you should tell your story. I'm no longer that person.

I'm not shame. I can talk about anything that you, if you need me for it, just let me know. I wanna show men that they, he said he was in prison and he would hear the stories and he would just be embarrassed and his body would cringe. And like how did I do that to somebody I love so much? He said I loved you so much and he said I couldn't

understand why I did that to you all the much. And he said, I couldn't understand why I did that to you all the time. But he said, I was sick. I grew up in it. My father did it to my mother. And I thought I was okay. And then it was the cycle that I did it to you. And after I got that apology, it was just like, okay.

At first, it changed something in me with him. At first I just would something in me with him. You know, at first I just would talk to him, but I wouldn't still wanna be around him. I couldn't have that conversation. But after that apology and the explanation and telling me, gave me the freedom to speak about it, I felt a relief, a real relief.

That's amazing. That is really cool. I'm happy H redeemed himself. I wasn't expecting that answer. No, he came to the screening. He spoke a little bit. Even though the truth is out there about them to be able to face it like that,

that's some real man shit. Yeah, it is. Yeah, that's amazing that he did that. My abusive ex would that. He did. My abusive ex would never. He's still trying to shame me, telling me the abuse didn't happen. Yeah, yeah.

So, can't wait for that day. So, let's circle back to when you guys did get indicted. How much time did you get? How much time did your son get? And how much time did Terri get? I got 57 months. That's almost five years, three or four months. My son got 11 years. My nephew, one of my nephews got eight years, one

got nine years, one got 11 and one got 13. And yeah and Terry got 30 years. But he came home on the CARES Act so he's. But Demetrius is not home. So, you spoke a lot about being in prison, what you had to do dealing with the counselor, and how you had a change of heart. And in prison, it's pretty much like your lowest. That's your lowest. I mean, it felt like, you know,

I end up working in a prison chapel. I don't know how that happened. You know, the counselor, you know, the first counselor gave, you know, end up working in a chapel. In federal prison, everybody has to have a job. And it was only one out of 600 women, it was one job, one person for one job at the chapel.

And it was given to me. So I thought that was God put me on a path. I was in the middle of the desert. I was in prison, like in Victoria Real Prison. If anybody know about Victoria Real Prison, it's in the middle of the desert. I grew up in Vegas, so. Yeah, so you know about it.

And I felt like that this was, I was stripped, like I said, stripped of everything. This is my time to reflect on how did I get here. I walked on that yard, I was in the middle, the first night I was in the middle of a sandstorm and I looked up at the sky and I told God, please help me. Why am I here, please change me. Let me figure out why I'm here.

So when I got the job in the chapel, I was around, I knew God. We called on God all the time. You know, when you're in the streets, you're probably, God, let me get through this. Okay, God, I'm out, you know. One more time, one more time. One more time, you know, you got all this drugs,

you driving, are you doing something? Come on, God, thank you, God. Blessing him for the wrong things. And when I end up in prison, I realized that I had to call on him much more than I ever had to call on him in my life. I was in the middle of the desert, I was the only one that worked in the prison chapel,

so now I had to face God. I didn't realize in my whole life how many different religions were that I was there and I just seen all these books and all these things that I had to deal with every day. I felt like I was stripped, I had nobody. Even though you have family on the outside, you have your children, but once I was in prison,

I was alone, no matter how many women were around me, I felt alone. And I had to call on this man and get on my knees and call on him like I'd never called on him before. My whole family, it was like I was in a fire once I got indicted. I felt like I had, like a fire had took over. You know how when people say I lost everything? I felt like I had, like a fire had took over. You know how when people say I lost everything? I felt like I lost everything.

Now I'm alone, I'm in prison, I gotta do all these years. I'm mad, I'm bitter, I'm angry, I'm full of regret. I'm feeling so sorry for myself. Like, how you feel sorry for yourself? Talking to me, you know? Why are you feeling sorry for you? You belong here. You had gotten away with so much in your life.

You belong here. Because at first I'm thinking, I'm mad at Terry and Demetrius, how can you not, as time went on, I'm like, well how are you gonna be mad at him? You've been selling drugs way before that. You just got away with this. You know, I was just getting away. I was just getting away.

God had been saving me a long time. He'd been saving me through the abuse, through getting caught up with all the drugs. It was finally he said, I gotta chastise you, you gotta come here. Yeah, I sit you down, baby. And when I was sitting down and I was all alone, I realized that how messed up I was, this criminal mind and this thinking,

my heart and my soul, I was, I had to get it together because now I have five young men in prison. I can't talk to them, I can't hear their voice. I was in prison, I had to just imagine my son's voice, my oldest son, even though my nephew was there, but it's different, your son, I feel bad for all of them. But I'm responsible, now I don't hear my oldest son. He's 21 and he gotta spend 11 years of his life in prison.

I got two sons at home just kind of fending for themselves. They're young men, they never had been without their mother. And I'm sitting here in prison, I had to get it together. Did H step up with them whenever you went away? Remember H was, after the seven years, a few years later, H went back into prison. Gotcha, okay, so you guys were both in, okay. We were both in prison, so yeah.

So, my younger sons, they were out in the streets. They didn't have to be, I could've said go home to my mom. Now we gonna stay here closer to you because they wanted to come visit me. But still they couldn't live their life no more. You know, then I started thinking about. They did the time with you. Yeah, they doing the time with me

because they gotta come visit me, they gotta feel that hurt. They don't have a father, they don't have no brother, they don't have a mommy, they just out there alone. And I felt that when I was in prison. So that was the turning point in my life and I've said that I needed to go there. I think that's amazing that you were able

to look inward and reflect because some people go to prison, like you said, they get angry and just hate everybody. Hate everybody, come home with the same ship, same attitude, blaming others and no, I had to look at me. Look at me. So you did your time and during this, you weren't allowed to talk to Terry,

but you went in already mad at Terry because of listening to some tapes. Listening to the wiretaps, yeah. What did you hear on those wiretaps? Oh my God. Cause I don't think you guys really got into that. We never talk about that. Nobody ever talked about it, but it was such, you know,

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Go to quince.com slash bunny, B-U-N-N-I-E for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N i n c e dot com slash bunny to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Whence.com slash bunny. The women, um, he, he, he was just crazy. It's like you built this person up and you thinking this person is loving you. You take in everything that I've given you and you take it and you about to have a baby, you know, and then you dating somebody that's very close to me.

Like if you listen, I wrote this poem, how could you do this to me? You were like my sister, but it was them two, he was in a relationship that somebody I can't, I raised. So you were looking at her as a child, and I raised her, so you end up dating her. And on these wiretaps

you saying that you're leaving me. Then you have another woman that she's pregnant by you and the other woman he's pregnant by you when, I'm thinking of myself like you build yourself, you have a class about yourself. For some reason men go find, where'd you go find this woman? You know what I'm saying?

Like and you don't want to think like, you know, but it makes you, and the thought of it made me angry. Like these go get you a bad bitch. Like you know, and then you have, you begging, like literally begging her to have, she wanted, she was telling me, I'm getting a boy, Cindy, and he's on there telling me, you better not get rid of my baby.

I'm like, well, what y'all gonna do with me? When you tell me what am I supposed to do, you already dating this child, I look at as a child, you taking the hard on money that I gave you because when I got you, your child's mother lived in the worst part of the neighborhood. And I'm like, help her get out the neighborhood. Put your kids in a private school.

Do better, be a better father. I'm sharing my money, I'm sharing this with you. So how could you betray me like this? And everything that you were doing that I was asking you not to do, like going back to Detroit, the women, just everything that I'm saying, don't do that, don't do this, it was all on the tapes, it was like just ringing, ringing in my ear,

and that's all I could hear, like every day, I'm upstairs, you downstairs, you in my house, when you hear a man in your house with another woman, something, it is not like this was all his riches. This was something I built too. I'm in prison for this now. I gave you this.

If I was thinking like, if I didn't come into your life, we're with, not like bragging or something, but I don't know where would you be? Yeah. It was such a betrayal, and especially when you know these, I mean I didn't know the woman that she was having this child,

but I knew the other one, like I said, I'd literally raised her. It was like you were watching me groom this young girl to be with her, and that was very hurtful. And then along with it. It's kind of gross too. It's gross, it was really gross.

It was embarrassing, it was gross. Then my sons, I'm thinking about, dang I'm gonna put my sons in this life and you do this foul shit to me. Like, if so many women in the street, me and Katrina cheat with or do your thing with, why do that so close? So close to home.

So close. Like I'm up, you know, like I said, I'm in one door, then the next door. Y'all downstairs, I'm upstairs. You don't think like that. You thinkin' this person is your dog, your home, your best friend. Betrayal trauma is the worst.

Yeah, it's the worst. You don't ever get over it. You don't ever get over it. And the worst is not seeing a person, but listening to emotions. When you're hearing your man talk to another woman, you could tell when they're bullshitting with her. I was hearing all these emotions, like you were in love.

And you had me, it felt like you was just stringing me along, you know? Yeah, let's see, yeah. I've been through it, so I understand exactly what you're talking about. I still look at my husband, Cock-Eyed, to this day. His affair happened fucking five years ago, I think, at this point.

Right, you still, you know. But I still look at him like, I saw the text messages, I saw, the girl built a whole case on him and sent it to me whenever shit went south with him. When it went south, yeah. And when you see the pictures, the videos, the songs. The songs, the voices, and the songs songs he was saying these are my favorite songs oh I still can't turn it off we'll be somewhere and the fucking song will come

on because it's ain't no sunshine when she's gone nothing compares to a Cornell version anytime I hear those I literally look at her and I'm just like you motherfucker. Mine's a secret lover. So I'm in the kitchen cooking and they're in the kitchen with me and you playing. Because she called herself a DJ so he would play the song. So you really antagonize I mean you're playing with my emotions and I'm not really knowing that you're doing this. And it was yeah And you could hear them on the conversations talking about me. Like you're really talking about me?

Like you're really talking about me. Don't talk about me with other women. With other women. And I just always tell them that because that was a saying with my father, my stepdad was like, do not put your feet under another man's table and talk about the man you got at home.

Don't do that, you don't need to do that. And that kinda stuck with me as I grew up. You don't do that. And I would tell him that because he would try to talk about his child, his children's mother. I'm like, don't put your feet under my table talking about her. You had two children back.

Something about her that you liked. We don't need to, and then to hear you on the phone talking about me was crazy. But then I had a moment of insanity. My mom had passed and he came home a couple months later, so I thought, you know, like you said, trauma-binding, thought like this was history, let me get back with him. I think about five months, I think it last about five months

and I was like, what the hell are you doing? With Terry. With Terry. When you guys both got out. With Terry. And I think, like you said, you start hearing the music, I've started looking at him.

It wasn't like we never got married. You don't trust. It's no trust. And I can see it, like I told him, you never even married me. You know, you wasted so many, I wasted so many years of my life on you, you know? We never got married, so it was like, why did I,

I wasn't good enough to marry, so let me just remove myself out your life, man. I just said I needed to get back to who I was. I feel like in all of this and all that, I lost who I was and I know no matter what I did in my past, I still was a strong, independent woman that I knew once I put my mind to something, I can do it. I don't need a man like that.

Somebody so insecure, I need a strong, powerful man to be with a strong, powerful woman. That's right, baby, now that's right. That is what it is. So anybody know anybody? Single mama,, baby. No, that's right. You know, that is anybody. Anybody know anybody? Single mama, single baby. Sliding them DMs, baby. Because the DMs popping, but I ain't seeing nobody.

Yeah. So y'all keep coming. Keep them coming. I know they're coming. After this podcast drops, they're coming. Yes. Yes. I'm so happy that you that you had the heart to walk away and the knowledge and the self respect for yourself to walk away after retrying again for five months. Just being like, you know what, this isn't for me.

It's not for me. So when you guys ended, did it end on good terms? Yeah, and I thought it ended up on good terms. Sometimes you say things to a person like, this is not for us, it's not for me. I don't wanna try this again anymore, you know. Maybe it's somebody out there for you. You know, I don't know,

but I don't think that person is me. And so you think that it's okay. I didn't, it wasn't no, you know, fuck you, motherfucker, or whatever. You know, none of that. It was just like when I packed up and left, I just said, this is it, this is it for me. But I think when you go back to a person,

you show them that they think they have something on you, they don't really think that you would leave for real, for good, and that was my last time. It was like the, it was so small, I can't even remember, but it was like, mm, just enough for me. And I look, when I look at pictures, or somebody sent me some, people say something,

we don't even match to me. We like, like, you know, you hate to say it. Listen, I never knew what the real Terri looked like until after I watched BMF, and it was not what I thought. Yeah, not what she thought, right? And I'm gonna be like, oh! Kinda like a turtle. Right, right.

And I just say, you know. You are fly, mama, you are beautiful. Thank you, thank you. So we don't, you know, so I said, you know, sometimes you gotta let people be with who they used to be with. Right. And you, I'm not her.

You go back over there and be with the people. You know? Yeah, absolutely. Go back over there and be with the people. You know? Absolutely. Go back over there and see them. Yeah, but at that point I didn't know it was a beat. But you know, I lost my son in July. Yes, I am so sorry. I lost my middle son in July.

I'm so sorry to hear about that. It's hard for me to still talk about that, but not a text, not a flower, not nothing. I said, wow, you must be really angry. And you don't think a person's angry. I think they should understand my anger. It's not an anger or disappointment, like you said, it's self-disrespect

and how they depicted me in the BMF series. I can't speak about that because I'm living. You did a whole show around a woman that's living. It's not like my estate is mad, my children's mad. I'm upset about how y'all portrayed me in a movie and I didn't know that that's the way y'all felt about me. You know? So here you are, and not to gloss over the fact

that you lost your son, which I definitely wanna touch on that too. I just wanna highlight really quick. Here you are, you know, left Terry thought everything was fine. And then all of a sudden you hear about this TV show that's in the works. Well, they teach their show had already been in the works. OK, the show, their show came out in twenty one twenty twenty one. Like I think at the end of twenty or something like that, my son just passed

twenty three in July. OK, gotcha. So. Did they ever ask you to be a part of the show? No, I had started working with 50 Cent in 2016 on BMF series. Okay. So I was sitting in writer's room, sitting with Randy the show runner. It's a real big mess.

You know, I can't talk about it right now, but. Wow. And then you don't fit, I doubt you're not into it. And that was another thing, Terry, they wasn't gonna even use Terry. Terry was in prison. I hired a lawyer for Terry to make sure that he got his proper, you know.

So do you feel like you came up with the concept for the TV show? I didn't come up with the concept, but I know I was very intricate in helping build that story. I'm intricate in the story. Right. Because you see, you created a whole storyline about me.

It's not like you had me in season two and three or one, or season one and I'm out of there. My character keeps coming season two and season three. And if they have another season, because how you gonna get rid of La La La La? It's playing my character and they know she's a major part of that story. When I found out that, when I got the lawyer for Terry,

and I said, Terry, we're in a contract together. Terry somehow got, once he signed his contract, he told them to not to use me. I didn't know he did this to me. I didn't know. It's just one the trail after the other. A trail after another, and then I found out afterwards. So I kept it, I kept it to myself. I didn't know. It's just one the trail after the other. A trail after another. And then I found out afterwards. So I kept it, I kept it to myself.

I didn't say nothing. So I was trying to still work it. They were trying to work something still out for me. And then I didn't end up in it. And my son, my younger son on the trademark who did it, the trademark in 2015, when nobody wanted to touch me anymore. Everybody was like, if you mess with it,

you go into prison, we don't wanna touch it. So my younger son built this whole thing around it, saying, I'ma show it not as a gang, as we were a family. We were a family unit. So he started selling merchandise, t-shirts. He had this whole, if you look at his page, he'd been doing it for years. All of a sudden, 150 Cent got the contract with Stars

because before Stars, BMF series, it was gonna be a movie. And the movie didn't go through because somebody else owned the rights to doing the movie. He ended up making it a series. And then here come all of them, the Muz and everybody. Now everybody want their BMF, you know?

Now here everybody comes. But that was the betrayal, so I didn't know until kinda. Wow. But you know what? I don't know, thanks for the betrayal. He did me a favor. Because sometimes that's God moving you. You know, I might have not,

if I wasn't becoming aware of all the betrayal, I might have still been under there, still under his kind of control and not being able to do me. Once I realize and say, you know what, I had enough of this, I had enough of you, your whole family, I don't want no parts of this anymore. I set back, I released it.

A week later, I get a call and say, I'm still sulking and I'm still upset. Anytime you break up anything, a relationship, you feel betrayed, you still gotta mourn that too. And once I went through that, I said, you know, I was sitting with my oldest son, he said, you got 24 hours to 48 hours to sulking this and you gotta let it go. That's my motto. That's yours? I swear, I'm talking, you got 24 hours to 48 hours to soak in this, and then you gotta let it go.

That's my motto. That's yours? I swear, I just told my kid that the other day. I said, you got 24 to 48 hours, and you need to get the fuck up and stop crying over this point. Yeah, and that's his whole thing. I'm like, okay. And right after I said,

I can't let him see me doing this again, I got up, and I mean, I kind of licked my wounds, and I got a call, hey, we wanna do, how about doing your movie? Wouldn't you wanna sit hey, we wanna do, how about doing your movie when you wanna sit down and have a meeting with him about doing your movie. And I think that was what God wanted me to do because he wanted me to have my own shine,

my own light, my own redemption, my own story. Not under the men. Not under them. And I would have been mixed in, like I am mixed in there now and people don't understand the story until they talk to me or see me now. Everybody's like, oh, okay, so we know who you are.

We've seen your story, but it had to be, because my journey is so different. I had so many layers. I never wanted to tell the story like they told the story. I don't think it's entertaining to talk about a woman in an abusive relationship. I don't think it's entertaining now to talk about glorifying the drugs selling the murders.

You know, once you went through it and you know, you wanna, I changed who I am. It wouldn't have been a part of me. Like I wouldn't have felt good about, like I don't feel good about that story. It's theirs, I wish them the best on it, but I'm glad that I got the opportunity to do my own story and tell my truth.

Yes, and it's a beautiful story too. Thank you, thank you. Can we circle back to your son that you just lost in 2023, can we talk about that and what happened? If I don't get emotional, it's still kinda. That's so recent. And first of all, I think about it,

I can talk and then as soon as I start talking about it, yeah, so I'm still dealing with that a lot. He wanted to go home, he said he wanted to be with God. But the week before that we could happen, he, I was in Detroit, he was in LA, and he called me sadly to see you. And I said, well, I'll be there tomorrow. And I flew to LA,

we spent the most beautiful time together, just him and I, and we talked and we ate and we laughed and we had a great time. So I left on a Friday and he said, promise me you'll never, you know, we won't go a day without talking to each other. You know, cause when kids get grown, everybody get grown and get in their life,

you might not hear from them a couple of days, three days. So we made a promise, you know, if we pinky and you're doing all that, he said, make a promise that we would never go a day without speaking. And I said, okay. You know, I'm not thinking like that, I said, okay. And he said, and so I got home, I called him,

I said, I made it, he said, okay, talk to you tomorrow. Saturday came, didn't talk to him, right. You know, still didn't think nothing of it. Sunday came, I was calling him, didn't talk to him. I panicked automatically, I said, God, we't talk to him. I panicked automatically. I said, God, we're not supposed to, this is not supposed to happen. We're supposed to talk every day.

Something is wrong, something is wrong. So I ended up calling his wife, which I never do. And I said, where's Jason I haven't heard from? And she said, well, he's okay, he's at home. He's just going through a lot. And I said, well,. He's at home. He's he's just going through a lot And I said, well, what is he going through? You know, he's just going through a lot and and then I said, okay We were talking we were chatting. I said I'm not the running Starbucks. I'll call you back Let me call you back because I needed my phone the app. So let me call you back

So about time I got my Starbucks got back in a car called it back and she was like he's gone I said who's gone? She said, he's gone. I'm like, gone where? She said, he's gone. Just that fast. So he took his own life. Oh my gosh, I am so sorry.

Just that fast. Mimi, can we get some tissues? Yeah. I am so sorry. So. Do you to hug? Yeah, listen, if things are not just things are rough around here. Okay, that's cute. But yeah, so you know, I just think like it was he battling a mental illness of some stuff

the part about it. People always think, like you see it coming, but talking to therapists and everybody, you don't. Sometimes you just don't. Sometimes it's a break. He probably knew, but he would never show me that. He never wanted me to see that, or probably. His wife said he would go in and out,

but she never thought that. People in life get depressed. It's life and it's tough and it's rough. It's been rough on my family since the indictment. They made it, people have made it really rough, but I thought we overcame it. I thought we were gonna be okay. overcame it. I thought we were gonna be okay. And yeah so. I'm so sorry. But I just thank God. I said well thanks for giving me that time you know. Thanks for him

seeing that I want to be with her. But you know my son was so handsome. like gosh, he was handsome. And seeing him, you know, laying in that casket, he looked so like he looked like a little boy, like he was so fresh, and it looked like he was in such a peace. So I try to think about, like all the time, like he was at a peace, so whatever was so heavy on him, that he's at a peace. And I know the way my life has been going,

that he's up there just like an angel, just because he always said, he told me then, he said, forget about all this stuff. No, but you still just having a conversation. Forget about all this stuff. Take care of you. We are all grown. We are all grown. Take care of you.

Go be happy, mom. He said, you haven't been happy. You go be happy. I said, I'm happy. He said, no, you're not. Go be happy. I don't need that toilet paper. He's so music.

Go be happy. And I said, okay. He said, I just, it's just, cause he still called me mommy. He said, mommy, just go be happy. I said, okay. He I just, because he still called me mommy, he said mommy just go be happy. I said okay, he said we gonna be all right, we all gonna be all right. And I never thought, I keep thinking why did I leave,

but that was just the journey, that was our time. And just knowing that he said that he wanted to be with God, that's the blessing, seeing him, he looks so beautiful, like beautiful. Like at a peace, like the angels in God had just came and took him themselves, he was that beautiful. Your life is such a testimony of just resilience and of what a strong woman really is.

I'm sorry, I'm such, it has me just gutted right now. Moving on from that situation. Can I get a moment? Of course, yeah. Let's take a deep breath. I got tears still coming out of my eyes. Moving forward from that, that beautiful, beautifully tragic story.

You have some really awesome things that are happening in your life and you are doing some really awesome things. You said earlier that you are doing, you know, you help with prison reform. You have a few shows that have been out, which was, what are the three names again? You have the movie, you have the notorious. Notorious queens. Queens. Trap queens.

I just got a new book deal that my book will be out next year. Excuse me. I like I said, work in prison reform tomorrow. Oh wait, sorry guys. You're good, you're good. Take a deep breath. Just doing some amazing things.

Helping women, helping people, filing motions. Just in my community, giving back, helping with the spongements. You know, giving a lot of hugs and you know, uplifting people, showing them, giving them hope. Because I am an older woman now and I don't want people to think you have to give up. You can never know what can happen in your life.

You know, I have been through some things and I always say why me, but then I'm chosen to help other people and that's my path now. That's my journey that I'm out here and even before that happened to my son, so it make me happy most is helping other people. I'm a nominee in the Image Awards.

Yes, you're gonna win. I'm gonna win. We're putting it in the air. I already have my speech. You're gonna win. I already got my speech. She's so cute. When she came in I was like, you're gonna win, she said, I already have my speech. You're gonna win. I already got my speech. She's so cute. When she came in, I was like, you're gonna win.

She said, I already got my speech. I already got my speech. And that's how you know she's gonna win. She's a manifesting queen. Manifested, and I'm already, you know, and even if I don't, I already won. You know, just to be in that category, to be a nominee, somebody like we say, you come from the streets,

you never know what your journey is. We always think we don't get second chances, but now society has given us second chances. And I know, I'm saying I'm beyond my chances. I know I don't have more than second chances. And just to know that such a prestigious committee have looked at my story and seen that my journey and the path that I'm on and say hey, we wanna put you in this category

to be a nominee, I already won. Yeah, and is there a way for us to vote? Well voting is cut off already, so. I did vote whenever we were allowed to. Yeah, yes. I didn't know if it was still going or whatever. No, it ended I think Friday. What's today, Tuesday or Sunday? Monday, I'm looking for it. was still going or whatever. And then I think Friday, what's the day,

Tuesday or somebody, Monday, I'm like Tuesday. It is Tuesday. Tuesday. So yeah, that's amazing journey and I didn't want to write a book until that I had accomplished some amazing things, you know, that I said I told my son, my oldest son when I first came home,

I told him write a book, I'm writing a book. To talk about what? I knew I had some things that I had to conquer. Some things, it was some more work that I had to do within myself. And when I talk about who I am and me, I want it to mean value. I want people to see I overcame

and that I changed who I was. Yes ma'am. That is why I'm doing this series because everybody, I grew up in a street life too and everybody glorifies it. The movies, Hollywood, fucking social media, everybody glorifies drug dealing. I talk about being an escort and to people,

some people think that I glamorize it, but I don't because I don't really go in depth about it. And I just, that was a part of my life. So being able to bring the women like you and Ramona and Renee and just really showing people that the real lifestyle and the shit that you guys have had to go through and overcome and just the beautifully amazing women that you guys are so inspiring. Thank you. Your story is so incredible. Thank you. And it deserves to be heard and I hope you don't stop screaming it from the top ever. No, I'm putting in the work, you know. People do need to hear it.

You know, we first go through the shame and the guilt and now it's like, hey, this is who I am. I'd rather me tell it than anybody else tell it. I need you to know what happens. I am a survivor. You are a survivor. I'm a survivor and people know. We all don't make it out, you know.

So many women have been losing their lives and We all don't make it out. So many women have been losing their lives and we all don't make it out. So this is a story that people need to watch. It's a cautionary story and it's also meant to be inspiring at the end. It's so inspiring. It was tough. It was a tough life that I had

and I want people to understand that hey, don't think it's glamorous. They're all glitz and glamorous, you know? I was blessed in a way that I didn't have to still be in prison and do time, but I was one of those chosen ones to say hey, this don't happen often. Don't happen often.

That is amazing. Thank you. Where can people find you online? And do you have a website? I have a website. I have silentheart.org and that's with the Y, S-Y-L, not S-I-L. And then you can watch me on all social media.

It's this First Lady, Tonisa, TikTok. I think it's just my name. I don't know my fair book. I'll have to follow you over there. I didn't know if you had one or not. Yeah, I just thought, you know, I'm not. Oh, well, help you. Thank you, thank you.

We'll take you. Yeah, whatever you need. Thank you, but yeah, and most of it, you could just Google my name or just follow me, First Lady Tonisa. And Facebook is my name and Twitter's my name. And watch First Lady of BMF. Yeah, and watch First Lady of BMF,

the Tonisa Welch story. On BET+. It's well worth it, guys, I watched First Lady of BMF, the Tony's a Welsh story. On BET+. It's well worth it, guys. I promise you, Haley and I watched it, and we loved it. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you for having me.

Thank you. I've enjoyed it. I'm a talker, too. No, I love it. I love it. What do you mean? I felt so many feels through this whole interview. It was just laughing, and then like heart wrenching

and there's just so much and it's just really beautiful and I'm so happy to be able to have a platform to help you scream it even louder. Thank you anytime. Yeah, after you write that book and you do a book tour, come back and see me. Yes, I will come back. And you know like this is a crazy coincidence

because you know Jelly Roll is one of my favorite artists. Yeah, we're gonna FaceTime daddy after this. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I just went to his concert, and then when you called me, I'm like, oh my God! No, this can't be real. Yeah, you were in Detroit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we're gonna be on tour again, you gotta come. Oh, I've already seen. You gotta be in Wichita, Kansas. I'm thinking, is it September? Okay, just tell me. I don't know, I gotta wait that long though. I know. Cause you don't start until what?

August. This summer, August. And then you're in Wichita, cause by the time you, Wichita would be the closest to me, cause my brother stays there. So I already told him, heck, you're going to Jelly Bye. We'll have our bus there too, so you can come and just chill on the bus.

Yay, we love it. I'll bring you backstage to me, Daddy. Yes, yeah, already. He'll fan out. Love it, love it. Miss Tonisha, thank you so much. Thank you. Tonisha.

That's okay. I'm so sorry, Miss Tonisha. Thank you, and thanks for having me on the Dunblond. For you. The Dunblond podcast, baby. Yeah, Dunblond podcast. Thank you guys, it was good. I appreciate you.

Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Dun Blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye!