Dumb Blonde - Throwback: Renee Graziano - Family Business

Episode Date: December 28, 2025

We’re taking a quick pause for New Year’s week, but we’ll be back after the New Year with brand-new episodes. Until then, enjoy this powerful throwback originally aired on March 6, 2024.Renee Graziano of Mob Wives fame sits down with Bunnie for a raw, no-filter conversation about surviving abuse, addiction, and lifelong trauma—and how she turned it all into purpose. Renee opens up about the chaos behind Mob Wives, the devastating loss of her father, her journey to sobriety, and how she’s become the tough-as-nails, fairy-godmother energy she embodies today.Renee Graziano: IG | TikTok Watch Full Episodes & More: YouTubeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Quince.com slash bunny. Is this thing on? Bonnie, who used to be a former sex worker and now hosts the podcast, Dun Blonde. Most little girls grow up wanting to be doctors and lawyers and shit. And I was like, I want to be super hot, make a lot of fucking money, and be a rock star's wife. That was my goal as a child. And here we are. What's up, you sexy motherfuckers?

welcome to another episode of Dumblawn. Today, we have our fairy mob mother here. This is Renee Graziano. How are you doing, Mama? I'm wonderful. It's such a pleasure to meet you. Dude, I'm so happy you're here. You're so striking in person.

Like, you're beautiful online too, but you're just so striking. No, I'm prettier in person. I love it. And I'm smaller. You're tiny. Yeah, people will always think I'm taller. I'm actually, you know, I did just lose like almost 20 pounds. So I am a little bit smaller than normal.

but thank you it's your presence online that makes that makes people think you're bigger than you are because you are such a just a power power woman like a powerful woman like any room you walk in you demand attention so yeah i i think that's where my addiction comes from i love that absolutely we'll definitely get into that but i mean you are a real sicilian princess Yes. My father spared no expense on any one of his daughters. Like, I miss him terribly. We're coming up on five years. And my life was really very much like a movie. And I think that's another reason why addiction played such a really big part in my life. But growing up with like a mob boss as a father and you could do no wrong and everybody else was wrong. It was like the perfect combination.

It was the perfect storm for me. Absolutely. And so for those of those people who don't know, who is your father? My father is Anthony Graziano. He was the consulary of the Bonano Crime family. That sounds powerful. Doesn't it? You know, and my father's story is quite remarkable. No higher than an 8th grade education. You know, when he passed away, I found out that the first time he was ever arrested was for robbing cornflakes to feed his sisters. And he lived in a trailer with newspaper as the shades. And his mom's boyfriend was sexually molesting his sisters. And at 12, my father was shipped off because the man suddenly died in an electrical fire. Oh. So do we think dad had something to do with that allegedly? I hope he did. Yeah. Anybody that hurts children, anybody that hurts children

deserves. I hope he did. I truly do because for me, now it makes so much more sense why he was the way he was with us. Like, we had to be covered and you couldn't do this and you couldn't wear a bikini. And I was always like, what's wrong my father? You know? And it was like, God forbid you said you had your period it was like you couldn't come out of the like your room i remember i had my first breast reduction at like 18 wow yeah oh yeah i had an f breast naturally yeah i think god made me upside down and backward so my ass was flat my boobs were huge stop it yeah i kid you not my nickname was sheet rock okay so you wonder why i have all these like you know who nicknamed you sheet rock well okay so my ex-brother-in-law named me sponge bob square pants and then my ex-husband that

evil bastard that rat no good prick we'll get into him later yeah we will um yeah i was just always picked on that is terrible and you don't look like sheetrock you're beautiful no because i got my ass done like four times and we're going to talk about that too so circling back to childhood um you know your dad was this huge mobster and what was life like for you did you guys talk about it were you allowed to say the word mob like i know i've talked to the other girls and they all have such different upbringings where like Ramona's family did not talk about it. Not at all. But

Karen's family, they were just like you know. Okay, so Ramona's grandfather and my father were very dear friends, same family. Right. So they were very close. So growing up what I knew is my father worked like most fathers worked nine to five. My father worked

five to nine. Right. So it was the opposite in the hours. And there were times that he, you know, wasn't home. But it was not something that we would ever question because you're not allowed to ask questions. Right. However, when I was about 16, I remember being in pastels, which was, you know, the nightclub in Brooklyn. And I was at the end of the bow with my best friend, Teddy Persico. And a man comes over and he introduced, Teddy introduced me. He said, oh, this is TG's daughter. And he said, yeah, you know, her father is a captain. I go, my father doesn't drive a boat.

Oh. He goes, what? I go, he doesn't sail a ship, Daddy, tell this guy. But I didn't know what the words were. And I went home. And they're looking at you like, I went home. Teddy's going, shut up, shut up. I go home.

I go, Dad, is this something you want to tell me? I was like, is that why you're not home on the weekends? He's like, what are you talking about? I was like, you're a captain. And he was like, oh, my God, sit down. And it was like this moment of you don't ever ask a question like that. Understand you're a little different than everybody else. And I didn't know what it meant.

But I started to understand because I had like that flashback when these kids in fourth or fifth grade glued an article of my dad to my desk. Oh. Yeah. So, you know, there were two young girls that I went to school with that bullied me. Right. And one of the girls, her father was found in a trunk. So.

I love how you say that so matter of factly. I know. So this is, you know what's crazy? Because now I finally realized all these things gave me trauma. Oh. Which I never knew they did. Absolutely, baby. But it was normal to me.

Trauma starts at the moment of conception. So, like, if your mom and dad were fighting her pregnancy, that's trauma. Like, you, the minute conception starts, trauma. Really? Oh, that makes so, oh, wow. I've got to get my son into therapy immediately. Were you close to your mom growing up? Closer to my father.

I'm like my father's twin, but I was also born very sick. So I had spinal taps for the first six months of my life. I'm the only addict in my family. Well, I'm the only confessed addict in my family for drugs and alcohol. Not alcohol, actually, drugs. I'm sure my father was an addict because of his lifestyle. You know what I mean? All that stuff that goes along with the mob.

My sister Jennifer threw herself into work. You know, everybody has an addiction. Mine just resulted in drugs. Right. You know. So when you were born, you had to have spinal tabs, which is trauma. right there for you to so you came out of the womb already having trauma yeah growing up you like you said you did not know that your father was in the mob how did they hide that from you like okay

so I remember I was 13 when I first experienced uh the feds broke down the doors and like sled hammers and they came in to get my father and I remember like losing my mind and saying you're not taking him and like I was on top of them like yeah and I didn't know and he was like Renee, don't worry about it. I'm coming right back when I just don't worry about it. And I didn't know what it meant. You know, and it wasn't explained. It was like, oh, don't worry about it.

You know, but then there's things in the newspaper. What did they say? Like, Daddy ran a red light? So bookmaking. So the reason Pete Rose didn't get inducted into the Hall of Fame is because he got pinched on my father's case. Wow. So there's a lot of that.

That was when he was like really coming up, you know? And I knew I was different. I knew I was because my father would, when the candy man would come on the corner of the block, my father would buy out the truck for everybody on the block. He was always doing stuff for everybody else, you know? And that's why I have this love for my father because my father's never been charged with murder, so therefore in my eyes, he's not one, okay? So all the other little things that mobsters do, it's kind of in their own community as far as, you know,

what I knew or if I watch a movie. I don't really get too much into that because people like to say, well, how could you defend your father? He was this and he was that. But at the end of the day, he was my father. And all you knew from him was love. Exactly. Like, and when I told this man loved me, like there was nothing greater in this world that when he died, I wanted to die. I literally wanted to go with him. You have two other sisters. Were they as close with him as you are? Lana is nine years older, so my father was more in the street when she was younger, so there's a little bit of a resentment there, and I got all the attention because I was the sick child.

So Lana actually hung me when I was six with a red, white, and blue plastic jump rope, hoisted me over the chandelier. I'll never forget that. Oh, my God. And then the other time, so. And then this other time. That is not normal, Renee. I know, but now I know why.

have trauma. Then there's other times she put the dog leash around my neck and she hung the cord from the other side and she's like, just jump off the stairs and swing. I'm like, okay, you know, I was like a stick figure. Oh, my God. I was a stick figure and she was heavier. So my father was hotter on her. But her things were like, lose 50 pounds, I'll buy you a car.

Lose 50 pounds, I'll give you $15,000, $20,000. So it was different. I didn't have to. I was skinny. There was like, if I turned sideways, all you just. saw my boobs like there was nothing to me so there was definitely a jealousy factor absolutely yeah absolutely and then my little sister so you're the middle yeah yeah okay and a cancer so my little sister in first grade had an eighth grade reading level and in eighth grade I had an eighth grade reading level so I was the

less scholastically intelligent sister right so I had that complex from birth I was ugly according to Lana and I was dumb, according to Jennifer. So, which is normal for sisters and brothers and sisters to do it. It's not nice, but they do it. So hurtful. It is. I took it on. I became that.

I became ugly and dumb in my, that's what I saw. I literally saw it. And I automatically became promiscuous because of that too. At what age? I was 13. Oh, my goodness. I just got goosebumps. You're a baby.

Yeah. I wasn't a baby. My body didn't look like a baby. I looked like I was 18 years old at 13. I was like a triple D. Like, I looked, if you seen pictures of me at 13, you'd be like, who is she? I look younger now than I did at 13. Wow.

So I, yeah, my first boyfriend, I was like 13 and a half. He was 17. and his name was Frank It's a little weird Yeah and he was abusive And that was something I hid from my father I always hid my abuse Abusive getting abused by a boyfriend at 13

Yeah What would he do to you? So We It makes my skin crawl Because you're such a baby Yeah it's funny His daughter actually reached out to me on like

Instagram I was like How's your fat father doing I can't stand. Did he fix his nose yet? Did he, like, you know what? Because you know, you get scarred. You get so scarred. And rightfully so, he deserves that.

But I just, it's, you know, we're painting a picture here for people. And I don't think a lot of people have got to hear this from you. They don't know this. And they don't understand what makes you so, I don't want to say aggressive, but just so brazen. And so like, you know, this is how it is. Like, you have been molded by trauma since birth. Thank you for this. because a lot of people don't know these things about me

because I always had to hide everything, you know? But Frank was abusive very young, and I remember being 15, and we were going, Tony Danza was at my sister, Lana's wedding. So we were attending something, and he was jealous because he couldn't come. So he stabbed me in the side of my leg with a fork as I was coming down the stairs.

But cocaine was already in place at 14. So you were already doing drugs? I was, yeah, 14, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Well, we're going to talk about the abuse, but then we're going to rewind back to the drugs. So I think for me, I just stayed because I thought that's what I deserved. So he stabbed you in your legs? Like in my leg? I still have like like like two little marks left in my leg. And I remember I had gone home one day and I had a black eye.

And my father was on the couch And I walked in And he goes, come here And like he didn't see anything I was just walking straight to the room You know? And he was like, come here And I go, what's up?

And he's like, what happened to your face? I said, oh, I walked into the door He goes, oh yeah, you did? Sit down. And I was like, oh shit. You know? He's like, what door? I said, uh, the door.

Like, what do you say? Like, you know, because at this point I'm not really a liar. And I suck it lying anyway. So I'm trying to like come up with a story in my head and I know I can at this point. And I remember, oh, and this is why I never told on somebody afterwards. So I said that he hit me. And my father goes, okay, watch this.

So he makes a phone call and he calls up the father and he says, I need you and your son to meet me at my restaurant. And this is, it was on Forest Avenue called Mama Roses. and then he called two other guys who have now passed on and my father goes get in the car and I'm like oh my God what's going to happen

I'm saying I'll never forget it I was singing the Isling brothers in between the sheets in the car and he goes what the fuck do you know about that I was like nothing

it's a song and he's like don't talk I swear to God it was so scary in the car with him it was in his big Lincoln we get there and he goes go in the restaurant and don't go by the window

so what does that mean that means go by the window right you're gonna go look so now there's two lincoln's outside Frank his father and these two guys and I look at the window and lo and behold

now Frank has a cast on his arm needless to say we know what happened how it got broken and it was that very second that I knew I could never tell on another human because it would be my sin

that they got hurt and that's so wrong to think that way because he deserves nerve to have his arm broken. Yeah. But because I had this relationship with God at a very young age, I felt it was a sin. So I have to protect my father and protect the other person.

So it's really my fault it happens. And that's exactly where everything started. That's really where it all started. You just felt like you couldn't be honest because you were scared of the repercussions that would happen if, like, somebody hurt you. Yeah. So when I met my son's father. let's rewind really quick before we get into that you said that at that age you were already using drugs

when did you start using drugs uh and why were you using them okay so when i was about 13 i remember i did like mescaline like double purple double barrel never forget it i had every bit of clothing that was on the in the closet on me i was in the closet my girlfriend's mother was like what is Renee doing in the closet with the clothes so i yeah so i knew like that wasn't the drug for me me because I didn't like that type of feeling and I don't even know what that is what is that yeah they don't even make that yeah it's like it was like some kind of trippy drug I don't I don't like acid or yeah yeah yeah but not like acid was really strong this was like some little stuff yeah um and then um I wanted to be very much like my older sister so you know if there was partying going on I

wanted to do it too so I remember it started with black beauties and yellow jackets so those are uppers that was like speed diet pills yeah correct and then it just when i met frank it was cocaine so by 14 i was you know partying 14 15 um by the time i was 16 i was dating like the biggest drug dealer in statin island secretly and who is this are we allowed to say this oh he was so gorgeous no i can't say it um his name his but it wasn't frank no his first name is jay he was just like oh he was beautiful and he was like you can't tell nobody because you know your father'd be upset how old was he 22 22 and you were how old 16 god i'm having this argument with our kid right now she has 20 year olds hanging around and she's 15 and i'm like there's something wrong with them yep okay good

and that's a crime i think that's a crime okay good because what i know now first of what i would kill somebody i have three granddaughters you're not making it home yeah no no you're warped in the brain that you want to be with a little girl. Yeah. Because regardless, the woman could be grown, you know, physically, we could look a certain way, but mentally. No. And that's where they condition you. You're conditioned in your early teen years. You know what I mean? So for me, it was, like, I felt popular. I felt special. I felt, I wasn't ugly. Yes. I felt, I, but it was a secret. Yeah. So it's still, you know, it's not fair to me.

And I just stayed in a, you know, looking back, it's so sad. It's so sad. I could have been so much more in life. You know, I could have had the healthy relationship. But no, I, you know, I went from my first boyfriend to that, like, relationship for a few years when I was in my 16 to 18 to meeting my son's father when I was 20, getting engaged a month and 19 days after. I met him because I wanted this and my father said you want it I'm going to give you what you want and now you're going to let you when you make your bed you got to lay in it and my father didn't want me to marry him because he wasn't Italian he was Puerto Rican did you ever

experience abuse in the house was that no there was never any abuse no Lana always got hit I'm trying to figure out where your attachment style came from okay I don't know because my father never hit my mother ever but what I do know is this at 16 I found out about an affair my fault had mom I'm sorry if you ever hear this and I remember what I did all right y'all let me put you on to something that actually makes sense old school banks love to hit you with random fees overdraft charges and make you wait forever just to get your own paycheck half the time it feels like they're working against you instead of for you chime is the complete complete opposite. They're not like those banks that nickel and dime you. Chime is changing how people

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Chime card on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms. And I lost it. Like lost it. Because I have the most magnificent mother in the world. like Raquel Welch gorgeous and such a good woman but in the same thing I didn't want to be her anymore I wanted to be her and then I didn't want to be her because to me it was weak right and I just said that's what's going to happen and I ended up being the same damn thing just with a big mouth so my father never hit my mother ever ever that's just not happening in my household Lana got hit a lot because Lana was really bad like she would rob the

car all the time and you know like flip the cars and trying to hang you off chandeliers absolutely had me swinging off banisters like but um i think for me i just wanted something you wanted to be loved and i had such a hole in my soul i was born with a hole in my soul literally i was born with a hot murm i think that was the whole yeah um and i i would have done anything anything in the world oh god i'm going to get so emotional right now. That's okay. I would have done anything for someone to say, I love you. Looking back, do you feel like you finally found that love within yourself?

Not yet. You're still looking for it. Well, I love you. I love you, too. You want to hug? Oh, yeah. I'm so sorry. I just don't know.

No, you're going to do. I was like, I'm not going to cry today. I got you. Oh, you are so dumb. Thank you. You know what's funny Now I have it with my grandchildren You know

And they love me Oh I bet You are like the ultimate g-ma You're like glamour That's yeah That's the name of my company too I just They actually I play superhero

I do all these things with the kids And it's this feeling of It's a different love Yeah And it does Unconditional Yeah it does fill the soul you know it is now for me it's things are changing and um do we have any tissue mimi

we'll get you we usually travel with a box oh gosh we'll get you some i'll rip the eyelashes off in five minutes i don't even care take the shoes off i don't care i'm selling baby um yeah you know i think it's a journey i think life is a journey of literally learning how to fall in love with yourself yep it really is and i for women like us who have grown up with trauma and the women women at home that are listening like that's really all we've ever searched for in this world is to give love and to receive love and it starts with us it does and uh what i'm finding out now is nobody's going to do it for me but me absolutely you know and that's that's the sad part because i know how i love on somebody yeah so i'm like why you know where are these people and my sister

Jennifer would always say to me, Renee, your expectations of people are way too high. Nobody's you. No one will ever do the things you do. You pay people's bills before you'll even pay your own. You'll take care of everyone, strangers on the street and not yourself. And I think that's what it was. I've always been trying to save a life, but it was my life I had to save. And I just felt like that my life wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough. Why should I be alive? Why should I have a all these things. Even when I was young, I would give everything out. Everything my father'd give me, I'd give everybody else. Because I felt like God gave me so much. Why would I not share it? You know, not everybody gets the lifestyle that I lived as a child. I had a fur coat at seven

diamond name plates. Like, I think I came out of the womb as a mob wife. Like, you know, with the big jewelry and the whole bit, you know? And now I look back and I just, I have three granddaughter is and I have one grandson and all I want them to do all I want for them I should say is to know that they are so loved and nothing matters and nobody will ever hurt them and I say that and I don't care if the feds will listen in and on this one I would go right to the wall for them you know what I mean as every parent should for their child every parent any parent that doesn't shouldn't be a parent that's how I view it did you ever pour that feel like you poured that love into AJ? You know what? AJ. AJ is very loved. Very, very, very loved. He doesn't

really show me that, though, anymore. I know I hurt my son. I definitely did. A.J. witnessed some stuff that he doesn't talk about ever. So when AJ was like five and it was November 29th. And his father gave me a really bad beaten. And his face was pressed between the two little lats on the stairs. And his eyes never left mine. This man dragged me down the stairs backwards. And I just remember looking at him. And I said, I got to get him out of here. And I went to church and there was a piece of paper in the church. And it said, after the long dark storm, there will be light. and there was no other piece of paper in the whole church that said that. And I'm all over the church like, oh, my God, God's talking to me.

Like, I know this man's having a conversation with the name. No, facts. I left the next day. I packed, what's crazy, I took my son, my clothes, and my television. When you're in those situations, you do crazy shit. My TV, no, because I swear the TV meant something to me all my life. Like, I wanted to be Lucille Ball. That was my dream.

Carol Burnett, Lucille. ball with Blondie and Joan Jett twist. That's what, that's all I wanted to be when I grew up. You know what I mean? But then again, I wanted to be Diane Carroll, but then my mother's someone. I couldn't be Diane Carroll because she was a black woman

and I argued with her for like years. Yes, I can. She's like, no, you can't, Renee. You don't understand. But, yeah, I left him right there. And I left with AJ. I went home. My father was like, okay, no problem.

Stay. You can't go back now. and what's crazy is my ex-husband's the last name is pagan so for someone who believes in God so much right I've always thought that okay I got married in a church called our lady of pity oh my goodness a black crow flew in my church and sat above me on my wedding tape wow I just got goosebumps I married the devil I kid you he's the spawn of the devil how did you guys meet where did this come from because I read someone that he was a friend of your father's?

No, not at all. He's a liar. Okay. He wishes. I met him on May 7th, May 17th of 1990. He had just come home from doing like four years for like gun trafficking. So for me, it's like, oh, the ESI report. I love it.

Oh, my God, he's going to fit in my family just fine. You know, and I remember going home and saying, Dad, I got a boyfriend. want you to meet him. And he's like, what's his name? I'm like, ask him when he gets here. He goes, what does that mean, Renee? Because I couldn't say his name was Hector. Yeah. I didn't know what was going to happen. Yeah. So when he got to the house, my father, what's your name? He goes, Hector, goes, Hector. What's that? What are you? So he said, I'm Puerto Rican. He goes, no, your name is junior. That's where he got that name from, from my father. And because he was in jail with a friend of my father's who was Joe Messina, who was the

mob boss of the Bonano Crime family who also became a fucking rat and he's dead now too my father gave him a pass he started abusing me immediately immediately and you were how old 20? I was 20 I got engaged a month and 19 days after I met him I said daddy this is what I want

and my father always gave me what I wanted so even getting you know beat by him and my father never knew No, never knew, he never told him He's my abuser And when I say that, I mean it In every way shape Of the word

So whatever comes before Abuse emotionally, mentally, sexually, physically That's my abuser I've heard you say that he was your rapist Yeah He uh It's hard to believe that people give this man a platform You know it's hard to believe

That women don't report this Because you don't know it's a crime when you're married. I didn't know that that's a crime. You know, if your husband comes home and he's a little bit forceful and you have to submit, that's a crime. I didn't know that. And I had a therapist.

Her name was Renee. And she was the one who told me, no, that's rape, Renee. And I was like, I don't think it's called that where I'm from. And she's like, no, that's what it's called, period. What would he do? He was just, the drugs were bad. he was a he is an alcoholic and an addict so um he would just come home from we had a strip club my father's and his girlfriend worked there her name was daniel whose girlfriend my ex-husband

juniors okay filthy bitch um filthy and um he would just constantly compare me to her and he was very forceful from being drunk and high. And I really didn't have many choices. I also didn't understand. And I think I didn't understand a lot because I was never really developed in that sense of the word. Physically, I was very developed,

but I wasn't mature enough. Just a baby at 20. Yeah, absolutely, but I was doing it from 13. So, you know what I mean? I figured, oh, I'm going to make a guy like me. I know what I could do. And every guy liked me, trust me. But not every guy wanted me because, one, it wasn't just the fact that you had to deal with

my father, I don't shut up. You're going to follow suit. If you can't equal up to my father, you're going to follow suit. And I'm going to lead. And that's really what it was. And my ex-husband resented me for that because guys would kiss me hello before him. So you know, that mob thing, they all kiss each other. They wouldn't kiss him before me.

And I kept saying, him, but you're not. Anthony's daughter I am yeah so I am to be treated that way because I am the you know mob royalty if you if you and he's also not Italian no and that was the thing then he became so close with my father my father loved this man oh my God he loved this man and he was going to give him our last name so he could imagine this and this man ratted on my father beat his daughter the abuse I went through, he shattered my coxic bone, broke, cracked a rib, punctured a kidney, broke my cheekbone, like, and I would never tell. Renee.

Yeah, I never told. Why would he do these things? Like, he just would come home, drawn. He was just, because he would say really mean things to me. And, oh, God, this is so bad. Sorry, Lois. His mother's lowest. She died.

She was a heroin addict, died of HIV. So he would be really mean. to me and I'd be like, your mother's, oh, true, it's true. Your mother's this or your mother's that, because that's my only defense, because I'm getting smacked. So what else could I do? I'm like a little peanut and this man is six feet, professional boxer. No man should ever hit a one or whatever.

No. He was, he was just evil. Yeah, I don't want to, I, I know that he had his own trauma, but I don't like to give him any little bit of grace whatsoever because he doesn't deserve it because you could walk out that door you could you walked out that door and gave your girlfriend my car and left me while I was pregnant throwing up my body shut down I lost 25 pounds in my fourth month I uh my body I collapsed and I stayed in the hospital for like at least two weeks and he made me take a cab home like the things like a lot of it's flashing right now so forgive me you know because my

ADD is also active right now and it's like oh shit I oh my god I'm like what was I doing I could have had anything in anyone I went through it too I went through it a severely abusive relationship so everything that I'm hearing from you just breaks my heart because I too stayed no matter what and it was like we had the most amazing sex and like he was always sorry after he would do it. And then now this man is trying to gaslight me because he knows I'm writing a book. Oh, good.

So where, what's his address? And it's telling me that everything that happened is embellished and that I'm lying and that he never hit me closed-fisted, but he bopped me in my nose. You know, like it's like the gas, these men are just crazy. So to me, you know, Hector sounds a lot like my ex. Well, yeah, because they're, what's the word?

What are they called? Narcissist. Narcissist. asshole. My ex-husband, the sex was horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible. You should be embarrassed. But, you know, it's so crazy. His girlfriend, he has a girlfriend now. It's like stalks me. Oh, of course. I'm like, bitch, please have a seat. You're the one that got away in him, though. Like, please have a seat. He probably triangulates you with her. He just knocked her out cold in a parking lot in Staten Island maybe like six months ago. He moved out here. He lives in Lake Tahoe.

And if I had his address, I'd give it to you. for anybody who wanted to ring the bell. I don't care. So, like, I really don't care. Like, it can come and say, Renee, you're not allowed to say that. Be like, yes, I am. So let's rewind it back. So you're going through this horrific time with him.

You're pregnant. You know, you have AJ. AJ's having to witness the abuse. When do you guys finally break? Because I know on mob wives, you guys ended up getting back together. Okay. So it was November 30. year. I love that she remembers dates. Yeah. Oh, I have a thing with numbers. Okay. It was, yep, 1999 because I remember

for New Year's. I remember that Prince song playing in my head. I left and then I found out that the affair he was having at that time was with his sister's friend who I always said it was and she was pregnant. So here's this one. So now I show up at court. Oh, I didn't know she was pregnant yet. So I go to court he gets pinched i go to court i have to put the house up for him and he's there with her and i'm sitting and i and i'm looking and my cousin alexis who's this tiny tiny little blondes we call her barbie and she says rene i go there's a ring on her finger he's married to me i get up the and the judge goes who's here for you know hector pegan i go me he goes in your name i go renne pagon he goes well then who's the woman that he's with that was one i walk out of the court

courtroom and I remember getting into a fight with him in front of the federal building that he took me by my throat and dangled me in the street while you're pregnant uh no she was now pregnant oh she was now pregnant i was no a j was already born okay he was having this affair sorry and then i find out he's engaged two weeks later my son says to me uh he he was what is dad i was away i had a boyfriend at the time and uh a wise guy boyfriend too he was cute um and uh jay calls me and that, what was his name? Vicky made him pee in the tub because she was on the toilet bowl

and he was playing in the snow. And I said, okay, mommy'll be there in no time. You went in the bathroom with my kid? That's a no. I made it home from three hours away in like two hours. And I gave her a beat. That's why that was not a fighter at all.

And that's how I ended up finding out she was pregnant because he said, I'll kill you. She's having a baby. And I didn't even know she was pregnant. And that's how I found out. So you're married to me. engaged, having a child, still beating me, and this is where we're at.

So at that point, I was like, I'm done. He went to jail for eight years. I had nothing to do with him, no communication. I then started working for 50 cent, and I, you know, my life started to pick up, and I had this really fun and exciting life all of a sudden. I was experiencing everything from different races and culture, and I was like in heaven. I was like, candy, show. Yeah, that was me.

And, uh, matter of fact, my friend that lives here, I, you know, I'm talking about the witch. I'll tell you afterwards. Okay. Um, so he came home and he then got a girlfriend. As mob wives going on while. No, no, no. He came home in eight. So mob wives happened in 10.

2007, you had an overdose, didn't you? Yeah. Can we talk about that? Sure. Because this was before mob wives even started. Yep. So, okay. So I, um,

from the damage in my back they put me on oxy 80s and um I was hooked I think in a week and I was on two oxy 80s ready six for oxies Xanax water pills diet pills everything the doctor gave me oh my gosh doctor gave that's enough to kill you but it did obviously yeah and then um on July 4th in 2007, I OD'd for the first time. My, they were like four cop cars. I was a wild lunatic. You couldn't contain me nothing. Can you take me on that day? What happened? My girlfriend, Nancy, I said to Nancy, you got to take me into my mom's. I'm going to die and I know it. I said, I have to get off drugs. She took, she got me there. She gave my mother everything that I had and I hit the floor. And that was it. And my mother did not understand.

addiction and was embarrassed so she put me in a 72 hour holdover as opposed to detox and I was sexually assaulted in the mental ward by a man named Stanley Guido on July 7 at 435 in the afternoon two hours before I was being released and then I was straight-jacketed after that and so they let me get this right your mom has you admitted committed committed and a man forces himself on yeah he was a patient oh he was a patient was a patient okay and I remember there was this young black boy there and they kept giving him so much thorazine and I would give him my cookies because I knew it would change the chemicals like so I know I'm not crazy you know so but I saw what they were doing to people and it was breaking my heart so they drugged me and the man

came in my room and held me down that's why I like I I shake on my left side so he held me down he sexually assaulted me I remember like losing it and they wouldn't get me a gynecologist they wouldn't call 911 so I found a way to set a fire and I knew if the police if the barry department came, the police department would come. The police department, the man was Detective Gorham. He was the head of SVU, but he used to be organized crime and knew my father. And he said, tell me what happened. I told him. The man admitted it. This, I have a police report that backs this up. And he tried to orally violate me, the man. The cop turned his face and I did what I did, and they straightjacketed me because I, like, attacked him. Like, you couldn't

get me off of him. You couldn't. And the man said he did it. So now the therapist tells my mother I'm lying. My mother believes the doctor because she thinks I'm trying to get out. They kept me there for two weeks. I spent my 37th birthday with a one-on-one in Staten Island Hospital. And it changed me for the rest of my life. It changed me for the rest of my life because it was different than the abuse from my husband this you took from me he did that but it was different because he was part of my it was my relationship this stranger did it to me yeah and um they started giving me eight milligrams a day in Xanax eight milligrams a day so much even at a hundred and twenty five pounds even two milligrams yep is a lot I used to take literally a

quarter of the Xanax like a piece of a piece like you know takes me four milligrams to to knock me out. Oh, God. My tolerance is so high to drugs, so high. That's wild. And that's what happened to me. And it changed me. I'm so sorry.

It's okay. You know what? I actually have some forgiveness there. And I think it's because when I realized it was my fault. And what I say it was my fault is what he did to me wasn't my fault, but it was my fault I was there. Because if I didn't do the drugs, I wouldn't have OD. If I didn't OD, he couldn't have done that.

So that's mine. I have to own. it. And when I owned it, it was like, oh, okay, I get it. And it didn't feel as bad. I didn't smell him anymore. It took me years. I was like maybe three or four years. I'd smell this human. I would scratch my skin off my body, my neck. Like, there's parts of mob wives that like my neck would be ripped apart because the feeling would over, like the pains in my body when he tried to like, forcefully push his fist inside of me. Like I'd get pain and then all of a sudden it was gone. It was just gone. I dealt with it. I don't know. Maybe it's because I prayed so much

on it. Like, I would always just ask God, just please just take this one. Like, you give me so much. And I know they say, like, you can only, God gives you what you can handle. But like, I had a time out. I said, God, I'm done. Like, I'm tapping out, dude. Like, I'm done. I want to die. I just want to die now and that's what it was I just wanted to die for a really long time but I was two chicken to do it and I'm Catholic and it's a sin so I would never you know do it but it's been in my head you know what I mean um and then after I lost my father that was it for me then I really so when you got out of the mental we're going to circle back we'll get to the this is when your dad passes when you got out of the mental hospital and you were just at that breaking point of like

this is enough I've had enough when you got out were you able to stay sober or did that what happened to you in that hospital just oh yeah yeah yeah that was that was the start of Xanax addiction right that was it so Xanax I would say to I'm sober at least nine months a year absolutely yeah um my using is a little different I'm definitely an addict but I'll use maybe two days cocaine two days and then I won't use for like two months Xanax I was using like consecutive and it was like to the point where I couldn't feel so I couldn't think I couldn't feel it was great yeah my god it's the it's the most wonderful drug in the world I love if you use it correctly it is a good drug I didn't use it correctly right I overdosed on it twice I'm sorry loved Xanax so people that don't

understand people that don't have dysregulated nervous systems don't understand the feeling of chewing on a Xanax. That was my favorite thing or putting it under my tongue and just letting it goes off. Oh my God, that taste is so horrible. It's horrific, but the feeling you get is euphoric afterwards.

That's why they were two and three in my mouth at a time. It was just like, okay, you know, oh wait, in 15 minutes, I'm not going to feel anything. And I suffer with severe insomnia since my 20s. So I don't sleep.

I go two, three days, no sleep. I was hospitalized. I've woken up under general anesthesia. I've woken up under propophole. Like, I mean, something happens to me when they put me out. Yeah. And I think I'm so afraid that I, like, the adrenaline pumps and I get back up. So, yeah.

And I think also the not sleeping had to do with the lifestyle. You know what I mean? Not the drugs, but the lifestyle of waiting up for my father or waiting up for my ex-husband to come home by the window, always waiting, waiting, waiting. And it's just, it's so much trauma, man. Like, I'm just figuring it out now. Yeah.

Healing trauma, you're never healed. It's literally a journey. We're going to have to figure out our trauma until the day we're not here anymore. Like, it's a journey. My son has a hard time with this one. He's like, why can't you just stop? Men are wired differently. I'm like, you know what?

They are, but they're not. Okay, they don't share with us enough. Right. But I think they're just, they could be just. as or weaker yeah i definitely think so like look at a man that gets traumatized by a woman he becomes a creep afterwards you know what i mean we don't become creepy we just like i'm not laughing at men becoming grieves i'm laughing at how she says stuff i'm laughing at men becoming creeps i am i said it and i stand on it um i just think you know from my son he's so he's so strong and um he's also

probably super empathic and super sensitive because normally when you're no no the kid no not at all no he's so cold oh he got his dad you know after his father did what he did a j had to like be cold because we don't know it just hurt him too bad a j had unfortunately suffered a serious situation where somebody hurt him very badly um because of his father oh my gosh yeah 14 staples. Oh my gosh. And this was after he ratted on your dad. So let's rewind back to that.

So, okay, you know, 2007, you had the overdose, this horrific incident with the mental hospital. And then when does mob wives come knocking? 2008, 2009? Okay, so after what happened to me in the hospital, I worked for Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin. That was like a great. Was Alec cool?

Because I've heard so many horror stories about it. He was great with me. Yeah. Always Tina is. my favorite person on the face of the yard. She would always say to me, you're going to be famous one day, Renee. You're going to be famous one day. And I'd be like, okay, Dino, we got to get diet pill, water pill. What are we doing? And I'll tell you why I say that. Um, so 2010 mob wife starts. My sister, Jennifer says, Renee, you can't be on the show. Jennifer actually is the EP

and creator of mob wives. And that's your sister. Yes. And she said, you can't be on the show. I can't deal with you. I'm like, well, could I do wardrobe? What could I do? And all along, she had a plan for me to be on it, but wasn't telling me. And so like a few days before, she was like, that's what you get. I was like, okay. So mob wives kicks off. My ex-husband is home at the time. I have plastic surgery, season one, gone terribly wrong. I die. Yeah, we're going to talk about that. I lose, yep, I lose 6.3 pints of blood, merced through my body, read my last rights twice, vancomycin resistant. It was you were having, So you, okay, so the show starts, you're doing the show.

Correct. Hector comes home. Yes. Okay. You decide to get your body done. Yes. And this is on the show. This is all playing out on the show.

So if you guys are not mob wife's fanatics, go and binge this series. You will not be disappointed. But take me on that journey. You decided to go get your body done. Did you get your body done for him? I got my body done so nobody could talk about me anymore. And I thought I was going to have this fabulous figure. the doctor was was another evil individual and he decided he was going to give me a full body lift

at 165 pounds that doesn't even make sense you're not supposed to do that to somebody so small so I went in for a BBL and a tummy tuck I ended up uh my ass was even more concave now at this point um I'm dying I have mercy I have a hole this big in my back so you go home from the surgery. Okay, so the surgery happened on June 11th in 2011. I go home. My mother comes to the hospital. Okay, no. Sorry. Okay. Surgery day, I go in. He does a seven-hour surgery in like four and a half hours. They put the garment on me. They rip me open. I bleed out. Emergency second surgery. Come out. Never calls 911. I lost six. point three pines of blood the next day my mom comes and she hears me and i she comes running and i said

i'm dying and she's like what do you mean i said i'm dying and i was cold i was blue i remember the woman in the ambulance saying stay with me stay with me stay with me stay with me and i was like just let me go just let me like and they were like you have to have a transfusion now i think i'm going to die because i have to have a four pint transfusion i don't want the blood they take my rights away from me I have the transfusion. I'm in the hospital for a week. I go home and I smell something. So I'm like, must be the antibiotics, you know, because for females that. Yeah, absolutely. So I said to the doc, I called the doctor. I said, hey, you know, I have 101 Phoebe. He's like, get to the hospital. I said, okay, he's like, I'll meet you there. I get to the hospital. The hospital's 10

minutes for me. Within 20 minutes, I'm at 103.5. The doctor comes in and his name is Dr. Raj. He touches me and Mercer just was everywhere. Everywhere. So now they have me like in like a little incubation thing because nobody can come around me. Now, you know, I could kill somebody with Mercer or whatever. They start with their vancomycin. I'm vancomycin resistant. Four days. read my last rights twice Dr. Addy, his name is he was a doctor from Africa who works with HIV patients

so now I think I have HIV This is like you know you got to understand Well you don't know They don't tell you what's going on Infectious disease The man's coming in from Africa What the fuck I'm like Oh my God! It's over!

And he comes up with a cocktail And I remember being upstairs And my father calling Didn't speak to me and my sister Because of mob wives Your dad was Matt Yeah we'll talk about that too Let's finish the story about this

So he was away. So my father calls and the priest said, you know, you should say goodbye to your daughter. And he said, what if she got you bullshit to, father? And my mother said, no, Renee's dying. Like, it's a real thing. She's vancomycin resistant. They can't fix her. And then I think my father might have threatened the doctor on the next day.

I was on my road to recovery. And they said that I've defied medical history. my plastic surgeon never showed up ever. Wow. Yep. And then there's a lot that goes into that story with the doctor, which I'm not going to touch on that because we've had so many damn lawsuits over it. My ex-husband then comes back comes to the hospital. I never forget it. And he brought me

this Rolex and it was the one Rolex I didn't have and he gave it to me. And he said, I love you. And in my brain I said, I had to die for him to love me. Mind you, this is my abuser. I go back with him. I move him in. I come home from the hospital. This is all on the show.

Everything. Playing out on the show. This is real life. None of this is scripted. You couldn't script me. The only thing fake about me is my nose. Right. You know what I mean?

Like, my ass is mine. It's just fat from a different part of my body. I say the same thing. My nose is not mine. modified and then let's let's let's let's cut back real quick your dad did stop talking to you guys because of the almost two years didn't he get shelved from the mob or they said he was shelved technically okay he wasn't at that this particular point not at all right it wasn't until he came home and i'll like i'll touch a little bit on that okay um so my ex-husband now says i love you

i want to be with you blah blah blah blah okay great and i think there was a uh an episode where you even said to him, like, you never say I love you to me. Oh, listen, this, this creep, this creep. Did you think, you think that he did all this because he knew? I know he did. I know he did. He only came back to me to set my father up. My father came home August.

My father was gone, and I wrote my father a letter before he came home and you could verify this with my mother and said, Dad, you're going to go back to jail right before Thanksgiving. I know it. Please don't talk to anybody. Don't, don't, don't. day before Thanksgiving they took my father away and I knew it I wrote it I knew it like when I tell you what my premonitions are so real I knew it and I I just knew something wasn't right but I was

so high because I'm on Deloaded now eight milligram like I'm sorry six milligrams every time I take my Deloitte it's six milligrams I had been sent home with a um a medicine ball so I had the picking you know to my heart every day I had to do this a nurse three times a day like changing my bandages all of this he comes back to me i love you i love you i love you this then a third we're going to therapy all of this god he even committed to therapy well he was cooperating with the government since 2006 because he's not even a real man and can't tell you that but i know his paperwork so i'll give you that so we can put that up there too because since 2006 he's been a rat fucking cock suck excuse my mouth he gets me very angry is that why your dad went

yes okay so nobody knew that it was no so this is so November 20 right before um November 21st my father was in the hospital my dad had cancer a prostate bladder urethra kidney and I was going to kill myself I'll never forget it I took SeraQuil I'm like I can't live like this no more so dramatic that's Sarah Quill where was I going anyway my father ran from the hospital to the house and I remember my white marble floors it was blood everywhere and he was like what's wrong with you what's going on i was like dad something's wrong i don't know what it is but something's wrong i can't i i can't take it but i'm so polluted mentally with so much deluded and zanax and he's giving me cocaine and i'm just

like high and um i watched his behavior he was acting strange going outside for phone calls i think he's cheating on me right because he was always cheating through his phone exactly was always cheating on me with drida actually right What happens is this. He turns himself in. My son comes home, November 21st, and he hands me a letter. And he said, this is from dad. I go, where's your father?

We didn't talk for two days before because I was fighting with him. And I thought he was cheating. Right. He turned himself in because he couldn't take it anymore. So I read this letter. He says, you know, I got pinched nine years, da-da-da-da. Me, I'm like, I'll put the house up, whatever. I call home.

I said, Dad, I can't find him. My father, I swear to God, you could see the phone conversation. And I said, he said, mind your fucking business. Get off the phone. And I was like, what are you talking? Get off the phone, Renee. Don't get on the phone today. And I'm like, Dad, I can't find him in the system.

Renee, please, Renee. And I couldn't understand what was happening. And then I called him back. I'm like, Dad, Dad, I can't find him. And I hear my sister, Jennifer's son. open the door and then he said, Poppy, it's the police. And I said, Dad, I've come up on my way. And he said, Renee, stay home.

You're going to get, I'll go to jail for murder. Don't come here. And I hung up the phone. And I knew it was over. He was home three months after 12 years. And the next day in the newspaper, it read, mob wife, starth, husband's a snitch. my whole life ended my identity was wiped i was nothing at that moment but i got sober that day

for like almost a year and uh this is all playing out on the show and i mean you're having to not only deal with this in your own personal life you're literally having to live this with millions of people having an opinion the first thing I thought of whenever that was going down was is that what maybe brought you and Karen a little bit closer because you kind of had to go through so Karen and I our fight the first fight we had on the show it was more planned because we were good Karen I stayed with Karen before I the show started and I got sober and she I lived with her for a while and she helped me out so that night we had to do that scene it turned real when she when I had to say what I had to say about her father and she had to say well you can't think for yourself and it was like

real then but the love we had for each other was not going to go anywhere we were still going to stand on it we just had to say these things to one another so when Karen came to my house I actually I was the one that would say don't talk to the daughter and then people were doing it to my son and it was Karen that helped my son out because I had a nervous breakdown that day

in the house Karen was there I collapsed in the bathroom then I ended up spending two weeks in the hospital afterwards from a nervous breakdown all these things were happening me like you know it's like this everything is happening everything's happening and happening and you can't put a finger on anything because you're not i'm not okay up here you know for all that time i was i was using um not just what i was prescribed because i had mercy

so i literally had a hole in my back the pain was excruciating it was down to my spine like this deep into my back but now i'm on cocaine and then i stopped immediately everything stopped that day that i found everything out. So when I get home from the hospital, my money's gone. I'm like, where's my money? And I take his watch collection. Oh, this fucking rat bastard. I take his watch collection and I go to the jeweler. And I said, listen, I got to pay my taxes. I'm screwed. This man left me with car notes, this, that and the third. And he goes up. The FBI take your money? No. Okay. Things just disappeared on his behalf because he said he left me everything. He didn't leave me anything but crumbs. The crumbs in my fucking bed and embarrassed. And you.

humiliated is what he left me. So the jeweler comes and says, Renee, sit down. I go, for what, just give me the money. I got to go. He said, Renee, sit down. The watches are all fake, and they all have wires in them.

I took my watch off. He said, take that watch off. The watch he gave me in the hospital, Bunny, had a wire in it. Get the fuck out of here, Renee. My son shouldn't see tomorrow. How about that? What a piece of shit.

So when he's sitting there, in these interviews he's a fucking liar he's a disgrace he doesn't deserve to breathe he put my father who wanted to give him my last name so he could be the gangster he wanted to be and you're a rat you're a pussy you're a pussy that's what you are you got your son hurt you beat your wife you're a pussy i have no respect for a man like that i have no respect for any man anyone or any man that does those type of things to another person. Because that's disgusting. You murdered somebody, not my father.

You killed him, but you put my father away because you are the murderer because you couldn't do your time. You fucking pussy. That's how I feel about it. Good Lord. That is heavy. So the watch he gave you while you're laying on your death that he's telling you he loves you has a wire in it.

I don't even that's right and I haven't spoke on this like I said it on mob wives you'll see it he wrote how he was going to murder me and I read that letter on purpose on television with Ramona because I was afraid at that point

at that point I said this guy's a killer I know what he is so it is possible I didn't have my father anymore he was in jail my father's also now very very sick at the time you know with the cancer and I'm saying to myself

what am I going to do okay i i gotta use my brain everybody's like get a bit restraining what i'm like i can't i'm a rat and everybody was like no you're not and i'm like no i'm just gonna read the letter and maybe that was a little snitchy okay i don't think it was i don't think it was i had to protect myself yeah i had to and i had to show that me and my son are unified and against that man so my son is my like my life i'm gonna die from my child and my father you know and i remember jennava saying that day. Shut the shit. Shut it down. Shut it down. I said, don't you shut this fucking show down. We're going to show every little bit of this because this is what this life is

about. Literally. It's not about who could dress the prettiest. It's about death. It's about murder. It's about betrayal. And nobody has been betrayed more than me from mob wives to the men. And I say mob wives because of the one mob wife, which isn't Karen or Ramona that you interviewed without saying her name. She's not. no good neither. That's betrayal. You want to use, party, have a good time, but you want to tell on me. But I'm not going to tell on you, but you want to tell on me. So you expect me to hide your lies while you tell my truth? Fuck you, bitch. That's where I'm at in life. You know what? Yeah. And everybody wants to walk around. Oh, Renee, you're in recovery. You know, you got to let things

go. No, you don't. I don't have to let anything go if I don't want it. She can't influence me to use over it. She can't influence me to feel bad about myself anymore. But the truth of the matter is it's people like her that say horrible things about a good person like me who does hide your lies. And I'm not talking about drugs. I'm talking about multiple lies. I'll hide your shit for you because I believe that you're not supposed to do that to another person. But you sit there and tell your friends to call me a junkie. Okay. Like, you know, I'm so old. the girls that you want to be a whore okay own your shit too like you know fuck that bitch like if i want to sleep with you i'm going to you want to talk about me who cares you want to call me a drag addict

so what you know if i'm a drug addict and a little bit of a tramp oh my god i must be the worst person in the world but i'll feed your kids i'll give you everything i got so this whole thing of mob wives and this mob lifestyle like you're jealous of me that i'm actually a mob boss's daughter Hey, that's my father. That's not me. That's my father. That's who I became because of him. So when I was stripped literally of everything in life from money to everything, I had to reinvent myself over and over and over.

And I couldn't anymore. I just couldn't. I didn't want to anymore. I didn't know who Renee was. I'm just finding out who I am now. And yeah, you know what? I wasn't my boss's daughter. I'm now a grandmother.

I'm an advocate for people in addiction, mental health. I'm way more than a mob wife. Absolutely. Way more. And I don't have to tell you I'm going to beat you up to be cool. Like, okay, if that's what you think is cool, that's bullying. Yeah. And yes, I might have been a bully on the show, absolutely.

But what they don't show you was every situation I was put into, I fought by myself. Everybody was against me. You know why? because they were jealous of Jennifer. You know, not all of the girls. A lot of them had problems with my sister, but my sister's your boss. Yeah.

Who's on welfare? Who's this? Who's broke? And at the end of the day, she put a paycheck and a very tremendous paycheck for everyone. Maybe we didn't like, we didn't get what we thought we should have.

But nobody was getting $8,000 an episode, day one walking in the door. Nobody was. Yeah. What were they giving a jersey? She was like 15. hundred nobody was getting eight thousand for your first season nobody you know and there was just so much jealousy and you know even on my part not and i'll say that like anj had a show not

ranae and this not rene but rene is the one who's doing all the work so if you really want to talk about the show season uh one i think we all had equal parts absolutely season two we know it was all about me with nine extra episodes added. So now everybody got the same paycheck. I didn't get a bonus. Yeah, I had a problem with that. Absolutely.

Because it was your life that was really being. And nobody's doing what I'm doing. I'm giving you everything. From addiction, I'm dying on TV. I'm OD and basically on TV every year. To one point, I know for a fact, when everybody, Ramona left and Karen left. I was like 75% of the show.

I did the work. Yeah. There was a lot of understanding. unfair shit, you know, but I can't blame my sister for it because it's the network that's giving us the money, you know? You guys literally became an iconic moment in time. I don't even think you guys realized how. Oh, I did. Yeah. And Renee's like, yep, yep, I did. Yeah. I think that you guys are going to be a part of history and that that whole lineage. Like, look at you guys have mob wives retrending on TikTok now. It's insane. How do you feel about that TikTok trend? I love

I love it. I love watching Chloe Kardashian. First of all, I love Chloe. Yeah, yeah. And I know Chloe for many, many, many years ago. She was always so much fun, a beautiful, she's my favorite. I think she's just a beautiful spirit and strong. And she says what she said, and I love it. I'm watching everybody, Joan Collins the other day had it. Did the mob wife's aesthetic. I'm like, this is, I wanted to be Joan Collins and Joan Collins just wants to be us now. So for me it was this moment of wow. Yeah. You know, but again, like I watched my mom do that. Like I'm telling you, I came out in a fur coat with big diamonds and all of that. So I think it's wonderful. Like if you, you know, I don't like the fact that they attach the negative part to it because fashion is fashion. So

they should, you know, leave it alone, but I do understand. They say, how do you glamorize the mafia? Well, I don't know. You guys are the ones making the movies. Yeah. Hollywood has always glamorized the mob. Because it's, there was something to it. I'm from Vegas. The mob is glorified in Vegas. So you know that Meyer Lansky, so my therapist, Renee, Meyer Lansky, was her godfather. And Bugsie Siegel and Meyer Lansky opened the first Catholic church. Yep. Yep. The first Catholic church in Vegas. Wow. That's amazing. I love all those like I want the house where Bugsy Siegel lived that they said is haunted. I would live there with him. I would feel like I have somebody. She said I would live there with him. He'd love you. You and that ghost could make out every night. Absolutely. Snuggle up, baby. I love that. All right. So let's circle back. You're going through all this shit on mob wives. The show's kind of imploding at this point. And it's one, because of the Harvey Weinstein thing. But, too, also, I feel like the cast members

were falling apart, too. Falling apart? Like, what episode are we in? What season are we in? I think towards the last season, we're just getting to the point where... They were reaching. Yeah, it was getting...

Yeah, they were reaching. I guess they wanted, like, new blood. Alicia had left the show at this point. Karen came back. That's why Alicia left. And it just... And then the other now... Natalie left.

Carla and Drita stopped being friends. Like it was, do we ever know what happened with Carla and Rita, the real story? Yeah, I do. Can we talk about it? Because you were just with Carla the other day, weren't you? I saw Carla when I was in Florida. Yeah.

So the truth of the matter is, and I don't, it's really for Carla to speak on, but I'll tell you this much. So obviously, it couldn't just be me and Karen that thought she was shitty because it was her best friend then. that she stopped speaking to. So it wasn't just me, Ramona, Karen.

It was all of us felt the same way. So now, obviously, who's the common denominator? She is. So my thing with, with Drita is this. She had this thing

where she had to be the top dog. Drita's funny. I'm going to give her that. Me and Dr. She has some of the, She's great with the one-liners. We had some scenes together that we would be crying, laughing so hard. But the jealousy, it's stupid.

Yeah. It's like you're, look, if you look up in the sky, there's millions, billions of stars, right? Everybody could be a star. Not my fault, I'm the North Star and you're not. Right, right. Yeah, I said it. Mimi's over here falling out of her seat. Yeah, North Star status.

Sorry. God said, you know what? I'm going to give you a lot of shit, so I'll make you the North Star. Okay. But what are you in competition? You can't be me. And I don't want to be you.

You're not my father's daughter. You don't have my upbringing. You can't be me. I can't be you. So be you over the fuck there. And I'm over here. So I'm confrontation. We all know.

I don't give a shit. I don't feel that girls have to put their hands on each other. I can have an argument, a verbal argument with you. Okay? So what? You fast, what your words, you would. Okay, good for you.

I'm not saying you're not a star. You definitely are. Yeah. But you don't have to be this person to down everybody else. Right. You know what I mean? I'm saying what I'm saying because when a person knocks you and knocks you and knocks you and knocks you and kicks you and kicks you, fuck you, bitch. That's where I'm at.

And you know what I mean? And it's sad. It really is because we had something really special, all of us. but you know it's my understanding that VH1 was not happy with her either the demands the demands like we I remember we had to go to like an okay magazine party and they sent us like ubers and it wasn't a black car and she threw a fit who are you I was born in a limousine bitch I don't even complain yeah like I'm really about that life right you know what I mean I'm really from that life So, you know, Drita's always saying

I, you know, she was brought up in the project but you didn't riding around in a limousine so what are you complaining for? You got a car someone's driving you. I don't care of that. It's not a black car. You're still driving me to point A to point B I don't got to worry. Yeah. Like, what is that about? Like, the demands

are ridiculous. They were ridiculous and what about the other girls on the show? Are you guys close? Are you guys friends? Like Carl, I mean, of course, Big Andrew, we know, rest in peace. You guys all loved Big Annans. Absolutely. I talked to Karen and I talked to Ramona. I text with Ramona this morning. She's so, she's so beautiful. Yeah. You know what? I have to tell you, I didn't talk to I didn't talk to the girls for quite a while. So, you know, there was a falling out with a lot of

everyone, everyone. And of course, I'm Jennifer's sister. So of course, I'm going to always stay on my sister's side. But then I got to a point where I had to make my rights. You know, I had to make the right wrong that I've done so I did a lot of apologizing and I'm very grateful that the girls have forgiven me. I do talk to Natalie Garcia the one that I choked in Vegas

it's growth Renee. It is, it is. It's growth on everybody's behalf you know. So I speak to everybody but Drida and I don't see love at all. You know what I mean? But everybody is.

She got out of all. off love was like online for the longest time and then like completely disappeared i she i she slept with my son's father too so i'm just it's just it's so annoying all this stuff like to me it's just like hector not hector not hector hector the garbage collector he hated that and from this mob wives just frenzy you guys literally were a moment in history and just brought so much realness to people's televisions what does Renee do after the lights go off uh Renee continued to work so I did Celebrity Big Brother I did marriage boot camp family boot camp yeah can we talk about the marriage boot camp oh please let's talk about it that fucking idiot you had another asshole okay that was not my

boyfriend okay okay so here's that story okay so you know there was always like that flirtatious thing or whatever um so we get this the show or whatever and we do it. But he decides he's going to get drunk. And he likes to grope. So they have me downstairs doing my scene for hours. And by the time he gets down the stairs, he's wrecked. And he starts cursing about my son's father and saying the word spick and this and that.

And there's a Spanish kid there. And I'm like, don't say that. That's not nice. I'm trying to control the situation. By the time we get upstairs, he tells me that I'm an N-lover, and I'm a disgrace to my father, and this and that, and this and that. And I said, what did you say? Like, now, my girlfriend's in the house, Prima Donna, and her husband,

and he's saying the N-word. And there's two bodyguards, big guys. And he's saying the N-word over and over, telling me he used the C-word. He used words that no one's ever from his-scrower. And this is nobody that... My ex-husband's never even called me the words that he did. No, he's drunk. That you're not even dating?

Right. And he's drunk. Did you guys just decide to go on the show together? Yes. So we... So what happens is he turns around and he says something and I said, Joe, my son's going to hear. And he goes, your son's no good like his father.

I crack him. Like I don't, when I tell you, I don't raise my hands. Like, it takes a lot for me and I don't hit men. I crack this guy so fucking hard. hard that everybody was just sitting there like did she just like hit him they were probably relieved they got ready the bouncer goes like this don't I was like I got to boom and I picked up like there was a big heavy statue and I went to like crack him in the head with it and they were like no you can't do yeah I lost too far Renee too far you're telling me you're cursing at me and my son

you're telling me my son's no good now watch what I do to you so now they were like we want you to press charges. I'm like, I ain't pressing charges on nobody. Cops come. They throw him out of the house. I make him sleep in the tent outside, basically. And he had to stay to finish the show. But, you know, it was like that redemption when I get up there and I'm like, he's like, well, you know, like, get married. Fuck you. I was like, I'm good. I'm leaving without you. I want to marry him dead. Yeah. You know, that was, that was acting turned real. Right. Right. So for me, that got really very real. Every scenario was very real for me. So even though he wasn't my boyfriend, we were talking about reasons why I have a problem dating. So for me is I don't trust nobody. Yeah. How could I? Yeah. How could I? There might be a nice guy down the road somewhere. There might be. And if he comes along, he's got to come with a letter from God because that's the only way he's allowed around me. Like, it's got to say, love God.

Like, you know. X-O-X-O-G-X-O. Like, there's nothing anybody can really do to me anymore, you know? Do you think you'll ever be able to trust somebody in love again to, like, fully get the love that you've been yearning your whole life? Well, you know what, Bunny? Nobody knows this, but I'll tell you this one. So the last guy I was dating I found out was gay.

Renee, you got a picker on you. Gay. Sucking dick. Renee. Okay? He wasn't just cheating on me with a girl. He was cheating on me with a Russian guy. So the girl...

Which one was this? Do we know who this is? Are we allowed to say or how? His name is... I can say it. He lives in Long Island. And his license plate is, I suck dick.

Bleep his name. You can bleep his name, but believe it. Because I'll run with this like a mom. Motherfucker. T-shirt, heck-de-hecker, the garbage collector, and I sucked it. Okay. Not me. The boyfriends. So, um, how long were you guys together for?

Like, but this is me. Wait, then the one before that was a con man. The things that have happened to me. Renee. The things that have happened to me. Okay. No dating anymore. Okay.

Unless, you need to run them through me first. I'll do background checks. I'll fucking, I need to meet them. Like, I was so, the, the, the one before last, um, Um, he actually studied me and, uh, it was a real con game. Oh, God. He said, you know what? He said it was away with my dad.

He knew everything about my father. So for me, was he an obsessed fan? Yeah. So he used me. He opened up a strip club and he wanted 50 cent to do the grand opening. And I got 50 to do me a really huge favor, uh, for a lot less than he charges. And I love Curtis to this day. He's one of my favorite people on the face of this earth.

I hear really good things about him For as much shit as he does not tolerate Like I've always heard really good things about him He's a cancer Yeah He is One of my favorite people ever He truly is

He's always been so kind to me He had you know he was on the phone My dad He's met my mom He came to my father's house I'll never forget We was sitting on the couch one day And my ex-husband didn't believe

I really worked from So he was coming to the house Because he knew he put his arm around me He goes watch this I go, okay. He goes, I'm so glad she's your ex-wife. I was like, okay. Yeah, I love him. He's always been a good friend to me. I would do anything in the world for him, anything. But yeah, where was I? So the con guy. Okay, the con man, right. His name was, what was his name? It's okay. We don't need to know Renee. No, I can't remember, actually. Texas. We're just going to have to bleep it anyways. He was in Texas. He was in Texas. He was in Texas. He was in Texas. damn he was a southern boy yeah from the Bronx oh yeah but I find out like you know what it was oh this long distance dating was different so I'm not always around where do you find these men

how do they fall in your life so okay so this one booked me and was it was I was getting money with him and he was just really nice all the time like we'd show up with flowers but I see I don't know what a con game is yeah so I mean you shouldn't have to know I'm excuse me I like con vix not comment right um so for me i think that's where i kind of got lost in it like i would never think somebody would do that you know because i don't i don't come from that right you know i come from like real money in the street yeah um and yeah so he used me uh comes out that i got engaged and then he didn't want to pay for the ring so i had to bring the ring back and he just wanted a tv show yeah okay what a scumbag that's all right i got to even with him already

so let's move on to i suck dick okay then then came i suck dick so um well let's say he sucks dick because i know i do but he sucks dick so this girl reaches out to me and she tells me that she's his girlfriend i go what are you talking about i'm the girlfriend so she's where did you meet this guy where did you meet i suck dick again through getting money okay so he was like let me i'm going to manage you for a minute because i was quiet not doing anything and i figured okay maybe. I'm looking at like the statistics, the numbers, and his numbers were right, but I didn't know him. And he was in the street with that letter. Okay. So me, I go from, you know, the Italian mob. Then I dated BMF. My BMF boyfriend was up like a high on the food chain for years.

I have an interview with Tonisa tomorrow. Okay. Okay. So I'll tell you who it is when we're done. Yeah. Yeah. So I was with him for a really. long time. So then I kind of just always stayed in the street because street guys for me were what I know. I married a street guy. Jay is a street guy. Right. Exactly. So I know the street. However, the streets changed. So the people that I was now associating with are in, they're not even chewed dirty gum on my sneaker. They're degenerate low lives. Like they belong in the sewer. They're filth. Yeah, they all go in the Hector category. So, So she tells me this, she sends me an article.

I read the article and then I start realizing everything in that article is what he's doing to me. And there's a conversation with him and the guy. And it said, why didn't you, oh my God, how gross. I threw up for a week. Why didn't you suck my dick last night? I was like, oh my gosh. Wait, he wants to call the cops on me because now I go public.

Yeah. Now he calls the cops. The cops come to me. my house in Florida and they're like, Ms. Graziano, are you harassing him? I said, yes, I am. Why? What's the problem? The cop was like, you know, you really can't do that? I go, yes, I can. He's like, no, you can't. I go, no, he's gay. And he told me he wasn't and he's gay. And the cop was like, your life at risk. Yeah. And the cop was like, I got to tell you something. I go, what? He goes, you know, I'm from Long Island. So I know who your father is. Your father would be

devastated. He'd roll over in his grave. Because now, He's not even my own nationality. Right. Okay. So now the cop is saying this to me. He's on the phone, the gay man. And I love gay people, but I don't sleep with gay people. Right.

Right. Well, it's just a straight woman who wants a straight man. Absolutely. Okay. It's got nothing to do with that. I love everybody. Everybody, I'm not racist. I love everyone.

It's also a health risk anytime somebody cheats on you. It could be with a man or a woman, you know? The statistics for HIV. are way higher with anal sex and da-da-da-da-da-da-da. So anyway, the cop says, wait, he called you? I said, yeah, he's at the precinct. I'm harassing him. The cop goes off on him, and he goes,

I go, matter of fact, he's threatening to send my son naked pictures. He goes, Ms. Grasiano, that's a felony. Would you like to press charges? I said, you know what? I'm not a rat. But I can't do it. I just couldn't do it. And he was, you know, then he started to realize the position he was in.

Yeah. And I said, I OD'd over this. This is, this, like, I just lost my whole life. Like, it was like I couldn't come up for air. Jennifer wasn't talking to me for a year and a half. Everything in my life was falling apart. My son didn't want to talk to me. Nobody wanted to talk to me.

And they were like, what are you doing? Look what you're doing to yourself. Look what you're with. We will not associate with this. And everything just started piling up and piling up and piling up and piling up and piling up. And I just, I gave up. And this was in what year? The one that just passed?

2022, right? 23. 2023. Yep. Okay, gotcha. And I stopped speaking. The last time I dealt with him was April. And when did you overdose?

and I I may and I just like like lost my shit man and then I got back up on the horse and I was sober June July August September 18th someone gave me a bag of fentanyl when it was supposed to be cocaine and um was it somebody you trusted or you just got it from a dealer a girlfriend of mine I said, make a phone call, do me a favor, da-da-da, and she's like, okay, I vouch for him. I said, okay. I have the text message on my phone, too. He said, I accidentally gave her. I died in a restaurant in Florida.

I was dead. I was intervated for three days, and no one in my family game to the hospital, and I spent nine days there, learning how to walk again. and um that was it for me i said okay i was always afraid of heroin like i never touched it you know never did anything like that and my father sister belinda she was uh an addict and um she died HIV but she was sober many years before she died and uh for me it was always that one thought and that was it for me I was it and I was like okay I'm gonna die for real so you matter of fact I'm dead again you did a line of this stuff and how long I don't remember anything you

don't okay so you did it are wiped from my brain literally just that was it you didn't feel anything I don't know I don't know what happened at all I don't remember anything that day September 18th 18th and 20th are wiped from my brain and why did nobody from your family come see you they were just all mad They said I wasn't going to make it, and my family didn't want to. They just couldn't do it. I mean, unless they were, like, really torturing me in some sort of way. But, yeah, that was it. That was it for me.

And it's fine. And I don't blame them. I don't. I put them through hell. Hell, I put them through. When my father died in 19, in 20, they told me that if I had shock treatment, that i would not be sad anymore so i did so you had shock uh what do they call that does it were they shock your brain electric shop yeah i think that's what it is yeah i um did six sessions

and it destroyed my brain you don't feel like it helped you at all no i know it didn't it made my addiction terribly worse and i um That's the first time I'm actually saying it. Because nobody knows that. But, yeah. You need to speak on these things because I would have done anything, Bunny. If they would have said, Renee, jump off the bridge and you're not going to be in pain. I would have said San Francisco or Varenzano.

Pick it. I'm going. I'm there. I don't care. Renee, tie bricks to your ankle and stay underwater for a day. You're not going to live, but you won't be in pain. Okay, let me do it. I would have done anything, anything in the world to remove that.

pain of losing my lifeline because he was my identity he was Renee Graziano I bet because of him I was Renee Graziano when you're older

it's hard to figure out who you are and it's sad and lonely and God circling back to the shock treatment though they had recommended that for me whenever I was going through my depression so I think hearing somebody who's actually been through it could possibly help somebody you know yeah um so I I would not recommend it um six months I did

start to sleep but then everything went haywire so I lost a lot of my memory um I now take adderol because of it because the Adderall actually does help me um I take a very low do I haven't been on Adderall in four months now, but I think I have to actually go back on it because I can articulate, but not as good as I normally do. You know what I mean? So my brain isn't as sharp as it was. Right. And the one thing that the Adderall did do for me was I don't have to take any antidepressants. So I actually have ADD, ADHD. And it's that that contributes to my addiction. So when my brain is here, I can't live in my past. Right. So when I'm living in my past, that's why I constantly want to self-medicate.

So when I'm on the right medication, my brain is like sharp, extremely sharp. And it did help with the, you know, memory loss and it jogs your memory. But I've also done now ketamine treatments, which are phenomenal. Yeah. Helping with the anxiety. So I don't take any anxiety meds. I take Prozac for menopause, actually now, which I had to be forced into menopause at 44. They lost my uterus from all the scar tissue.

My stories are crazy. And I take, I was on strata with wellbutrin, and that's giving me a hard time. Yeah. Those I don't like it at all. It's like a pointless drug. It doesn't work. It slows the brain down, but it doesn't help you get it out. so that I just stopped and I um let's talk about where you are now so you did the last you had

your overdose you had to learn how to walk again in the hospital yeah I was there for uh nine days and then I was okay like it was like nothing happened to me you're a fucking warrior well if you saw my car accident on January 4th of 22 if you Google it there's no car and I'm standing outside at the call like with a full face of makeup. I remember I felt my father my ampola and my cousin Anthony pulled me out of that car and they're all dead and I kid you not they like Google it there's nothing there's no drive-aside yep. You have nine lives Renee I told you that when we first got here. Yeah well I like wearing black for that reason too the cat that I am I'm just going to have to learn how to land on my feet. Yeah.

But you know what? I just got a job working in treatment, doing business development. I'm doing... You left Florida and ended up living. I left Florida. I went to Texas first to get well at Recovery Unplugged, but they didn't have a program that was a little bit more modified for the extreme trauma for me.

Right. So after we did my trauma egg, it opened up everything again. And they couldn't follow up. So then Lamar Odom, who's a dear friend, had me come to his place, which is vanity, wellness, out here in California, and now I work for them. And my objective is to help someone realize that they are special, and you don't have to have a hole in your soul, and it's okay if you do, you know, just spread love, give love. And it's really about that, you know, and I know I'm harsh with other things that. I say because I'm a real personal feels, you know, and I hate the fact that so many people have done me dirty when I've really never done anything to them. But, you know, a lot of people

don't like the truth. So that's what I tell you, the truth. A lot of people have to tell me the truth. So why can't I say it back, you know? And it's just, I'm not weak by any means. And I would never think you're weak. Okay. Well, you know, a lot of people will say it. because you're weak because you do drugs. No, I'm not weak. I think I would have been dead a long time ago if I didn't self-medicate. And I'm not saying it's okay to self-medicate.

I'm just saying I would have been dead a long time ago. That was your journey. Yep. I had to numb everything. You know, to have an uncle blown up on a street, friends murdered, and you're just cooking Sunday dinner and like, oh, okay, honey. yeah, I'll leave it on the counter.

What is that? I spent a year in black going to funerals. So I'm realizing that is trauma. And although it wasn't, you know, in my household, it still was trauma. You know, losing life is when you're a loving person, you know, you're separated from somebody that you love. Like it started with my grandmother when I was 13. and now in life I have my four grandchildren are you and AJ on good terms my son just left

my son and I I'm sober since the third of November and my son and I have spoken every single day since then oh and shout out AJ yes he's I'm sure that's detrimental to your sobriety also yeah yeah not that we're putting pressure on him I'm sure that just so healing for you to be able to talk about him. He's good now. He knows. He made the phone call because I told him that he wasn't going to see me ever again on the third. And I said, I couldn't do it anymore. I was like, I'm not going to kill myself, but just in case something happens. And he said, stay right there. Don't move. And he made a phone call for me. And my friend, Phil O'Hara, he got me placed, he put me in. And it's just every day he talks to me, every day.

and he's proud of me and he says it he'll call me and be like what's up home slice what are you doing like i'm like oh my god do you know how much money i made on tictock today do you want half of it and he's like this is what me and my son do and like i send him money all the time and he's like mom you know you can keep your own money and i'm like no no no go buy the kids stuff and i'm having so much fun and he's like mom i just took them to disney last week they flew here with the two older ones We got rained out in Disney, but we ended up at Universal for, you know, a beautiful day. And it's just my family's talking to me. Everyone in my family is talking to me.

My sister Jennifer and I are working together again. She's part of my management team again. I'm so grateful and happy. Yeah. I mean, I'm a little angry at a few people. And maybe now that I said it, I have to. work on that um but if i don't like you i just don't like you right i probably don't have to talk about you right but i can't respect a person that is me that's right cruel you know what i mean

like my ex-husband that's evil i don't like evil how do you feel about him doing these interviews now i think he's a twat i think he's a twat i mean he sounds like a jerk off i live for an a everything no you didn't you never had anything it was always my money you never had any money you always had any money you always my money I bought the house like you know he he's just I think he should just sit down already you know but let me say you something I can't believe he hasn't been sat down that's the crazy well who's gonna kill the killer right my father's dead so who's coming for him yeah I mean you know he he he I don't know why you even want to speak about me leave me alone like you've already done enough like I have not spoken to you in

13 years. Leave me the fuck alone. Take your jerk off girlfriend who's a mob wife's fan and follows me and stalks me and calls me a junkie and like bitch you don't you just got knocked out cold by a man you should sit the fuck down too. Does he have a relationship with AJ at all? No he's he's he has to he yeah he should you know what God works in very mysterious ways though because he has blood cancer now. Am I smiling? Oh, shit. I'm sorry. Hey, I'm telling you, man, evil.

I can't help it. You know what? I know I'm supposed to be like, I know God, he's not even mad at me. Forget it. He's not even mad. How could you be mad at the girl that this man beat and did all these things to? And she smiles because you're sick. Yeah.

He's really sick, though. Like he's diagnosed sociopath with psychopathic tendencies. like you should really sit down yeah you sound like an asshole yeah doing interviews you're a rat yeah you want to profit from being a rat you put my father in prison my best friend's husband my uncle you destroyed a family many families and how about the girl that doesn't have a father anymore you did that so you should be talking to god not people doing podcasts because you want to earn money, go get a fucking job. Yeah.

Get a fucking job. And stop beating women already. Stop. It's disgusting. Like, you're not getting into heaven. Like, you're, you know, you're still. And, you know, I'm going to say it. I'm going to.

I wasn't going to, but I'm going to. So he was threatening to hurt me again. Okay, just recently. The threats, the threats. Junior? Yeah. Threaten how he's going to kill me. Hector.

He doesn't even deserve the name. He doesn't. No, he doesn't. The threats, the threats. the threats it's just to the point where it's got to stop he he just recently that's like that could be detrimental to your sobriety yep so my poor son had to do this he said he said you chose to do what you did and be on podcast you shouldn't be mad or anything if you get stuff said about you and at the end of the day you abused her and you're still trying to abuse her you're trying to hit her

so she falls back down. I don't know how you think you're trying to be a protector or how you say you want the best for her when clearly that has never been the case. My son had to actually do that for me. Do you know how disgusting you must be as a parent that your child has to defend his mother?

Yeah. And do you know what that did to me? That my son, now I know my son knows. Do you know what I mean? Like I knew he knew, but now I know he feels it. To say you abused his mother. Go the fuck away. They never do.

Just go away. I don't want you anywhere by me. I don't even, unless provoked, I don't talk about you because you are a non-fucking factor. You're a degenerate loser. Go the fuck away. Take your girlfriend and go away. Yeah. And she needs therapy that bitch.

how are you with like how do you not see what what's happening to you you know and it's the same reason that we didn't see what was happening it takes a woman seven times do you know that that's this that's the number she'll seven times she'll have to be hit before she leaves yeah well I'm pretty sure she's probably around seven now yeah that's that that's about right because that's what it took me to leave yeah few years and being beat up a few times took me 10 years 10 years I couldn't. Renee, I'm so proud of you. Thank you.

You have come so far. And I'm not son, honey. I'm so excited to see what you do in the future. And I want, if you ever need to talk, you just call me. Thank you. Just text me, call me. If you're ever having a rough time or anything, I'm always going to be here for you. I appreciate it.

And I love what you're doing. And I love the energy you put out. It's positive. Even like I could watch your face when I'm saying certain things. You're like, oh, shit. But, you know, I don't often talk the way I do in an interview, but I'm so comfortable and I've been holding all of this for so long that it, that's what makes me sick. So it's kind of- Your secrets keep you sick.

Oh, sure do. You know, now everybody knows I'm a little bit of a tramp, though. I don't care. They love you. I don't care. I don't care anymore. I'm so tired of caring about what other people think of me. Stop caring.

That was my huge lesson last year Was I had to stop I had so many people attacking me Because of this podcast And just I got to a point Where I was just like I don't fucking care I'm doing this, you're not

This is my life Well it's jealousy Yeah it's wild Isn't it insane And you know The comments that people say The things that people say To hurt another human

Like what people say about me When I read them You know The way I look or this Or edited or I love my fucking apps. Leave me alone. I created a mob wife

app. Yeah. Um, you know, just for the fun of it. Because I love the way it looks. I love AI pictures. I don't always look good. So why shouldn't I? Like people are your world. You can do what you want. Just like everybody does what they want on their own apps and on their own platforms. Who goes on a person's page

and says those things? Weirdos. Yeah. Straight up weirdos. Yeah. I agree. Well, what's next? What's in the future for you? What do you have in the works? Okay, so Mob Candy, I have my jewelry line still, Mob Candy. I have a new app with Drop Me In AI called Mob Wife by Renee Graziano, and people could download their photos and they get to look like a mob wife, but for $8 as opposed

to go and buying that fur coat, you get the free fur coat there. I have, I'm working on a project. Hopefully it'll come to fruition with TV. I did do my own pilot for my fairy mom. mother unfortunately it was part of my relapse um there were a lot of things that I touched on that I obviously didn't deal with and I started to self-medicate again so I'm going to leave that there yeah that's not for me um and right now I just want to help somebody get sober that's it that's that's really my focus I have four grandchildren that I have to worry about um and maybe I'll

find love one day you know You know, but in the meanwhile, I'm going to love me enough. Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. And I think that's all you can do. After all the shit you've been through, Renee, you are still fucking standing. You're still punching life and telling him it hits like a bitch.

Like you are one tough cookie, dude. Thank you. I just, I love your aura. I love everything about you. Likewise. I cannot wait to see how much hell you give the world continuing on in these years. This time around as Renee, just Renee? I look forward to to see who I'm going to be in it about a year from now.

I'm excited. You got to come back and visit me. Absolutely. And come to a concert. We're going to be everywhere. We're going on tour. So come. I'm such like a country fan too.

Like I love country music. That's hilarious that you're a mob wife and love country. Oh my God. Both Brooks. When I get married, the song from Hope floats, that's going to be like my wedding show. Oh, I love that. Absolutely. Absolutely.

I love it. It's just like it's real. you know yeah come to a show j would love to meet you oh yes i'll call him i'll call him when we're doing with this podcast so you can say hi yes and and he let me tell you something my mother is a huge fan that's hilarious i love that it is because she calls me wait i get i get messages do you know what jelly's doing now he's working with the was it something to towers freedom towers she tells me everything she's like rene he's remarkable no and she's like he spoke to congress rene I'm like, yes, Mom, I know.

She's like, oh, my God, this is wonderful. You have a friend like you. And I'm like, you know what, Ronnie? You just got to stick your foot in your mouth all the fucking time. I love that. Yes, thank you so much, doll. Well, why don't you tell people where they can find you on your social medias? So social media for Instagram is Renee Graziano, and it's the real Renee Graziano on TikTok

where I make all my goofy dances. Go follow the OG mob wife and go pop into her lives. and give her all your gifts. Yes. Thank you so much, Renee. You're welcome. It's been a blast. And thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dunblonde.

I will see you guys next week. Bye.