Dumb Blonde - Throwback Thursday: Josh Wolf: Clowns, Microdosing, and Hookers

Episode Date: September 19, 2024

Throwback Thursday! The hilarious Josh Wolf joins Bunnie this week to talk about what life is really like as a stand-up comic, how he got connected with Jelly and now loves performing with him, and the worst time he's ever bombed on stage. Josh talks about going from performing as a clown and getting indecent proposals from moms to appearing as a regular on Chelsea Lately, the car ride that changed his life, microdosing, choosing happiness, and what surprises his fans most when they meet him in real life.Josh Wolf: IG Watch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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And not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Not only that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget and everybody gets the podcast. There's that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget and everybody gets the podcast. There's no more excuses. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up. Stop missing out. We have built a huge community over there, guys. I'm talking about hundreds of thousands of people over there. We even have live chats, live chats that I actually am talking in every single night. Last but not least, we give away gifts every freaking month. I'm talking like signed stuff from Jay and I, lives. You just never know what kind of surprise you're going to get.

It's like a Cracker Jack box. I love the community that we've built over there at Patreon. If you are already a Patreon member, I freaking love you, dude. Thank you so much. You guys are my babies for life, my writers. If I could, I would literally make out with each and every one of you. I love you guys so much. And that's a lot of kisses, actually. Gotta go back.

Is this thing on? All right, gentlemen, coming to main stage next. This is Bunny. Get up there. She's got a tornado of titties coming your way. Get those dollar bills ready. She's got an ass that shakes like michael j fox so get up there and throw throw throw them dollars dude that is fucking iconic what's up you sexy motherfuckers welcome to another episode of dumb blonde today the guest that i have if you do not know who he

is you have been living under a rock mr j. Josh Wolf, the king of comedy over here. What's going on? How you doing, baby? Good, how you doing? I'm doing good. That guy sounded like he was driving on a leaf blower. You know, I thought it was a weed eater at first. I was like, fuck my life.

Do you know when I was, oh my God, holy shit, Very, very young comic in LA, zero money. I drove a little, I drove a little. Like a scooter. I drove a moped, right? Oh my God, a moped. So, but the moped's muffler was broken. So it sounded like a Harley. Yeah.

So when you drove, you heard it. And you were like, let's see what's coming down the street. It was me on a moped. Like, eh, eh, eh. That is hilarious. It was. And that was also during the time when I was entertaining at children's parties and the guy wouldn't let me show up and get changed.

So I had to show up in costume. So I had to ride around on the fucking moped. Oh my God. Like dressed like Peter Pan. I was just about to say, okay, so for those of you who don't know who Josh is, Josh Wolfe is very huge in the comedy circuit. And I mean, there's just so much ground to cover here.

It's like, which angle do we even start from? You're like so multifaceted that I'm just like, which angle do we go with? I think we start with this. I think we start with the fact that we know each other. Yes. Because within 15 meeting minutes of meeting your husband i'm like this is a real dude oh yeah and so that's what i i i'm a that's what i'm attracted to real people dude daddy is 100 genuine soul like he is just

he's so special and that's the first thing i ever said to him when i met him i was like you're special i was like there's something really special about you and he's so special. And that's the first thing I ever said to him when I met him. I was like, you're special. I was like, there's something really special about you. And he was just like, what are you talking about, bitch? Suck my dick. All right, we ain't talking about how special I am. You know? And that's how I fell in love.

Yeah, that is. I mean, that's how you, that's how you woo, woo, woo. Yeah, totally. So, okay, you started out doing kids' parties. Well, yeah, you know, as, and you know the most embarrassing, first of all, definitely there was one mom who had a clown fetish. Ooh, I do too. And she paid me in cash and blowjob.

Yes, while you were dressed up as a clown? Yes. Dude, hot. She straight up i started to take the clown outfit off and she was like nope i was like what she was like i've always wanted to do this with somebody with a clown outfit and i was like okay like she definitely had her butt touched when she was younger for sure and you know what that's okay because we talk about trauma on my show all the girls that are listening understand about the trauma.

Yo. I would suck a clown's dick. I actually might have Jade dress up as a clown for fucking Halloween now. Are we going clown suit? Creepy clown? Any sort of clown.

I'm down for the clown. By the way, that is a great t-shirt with a clown face right here. i can't even take credit for that that's icp the juggalos have already fucking coined that phrase that is but i will tell you like there's something there was something extra fun for me yeah i bet you know what i mean oh i definitely i squeezed my horn when you were fucking shooting a load I was like that's I mean

that is hilarious still gonna make it funny you know that is so funny okay so where are you from originally I grew up in Massachusetts

okay and you made your way down to LA for comedy or has comedy always been your thing that you wanted to start with

or did you want to be an actor singer you know um there's not everywhere from laughing about the clown thing if i can clean it off my nostrils right now by the way you know what i love you see this is when i perform also if i spit or something comes out yeah that's the first thing i say i'm like did you see that big thing thing you gotta address it you know because if you claim it nobody can be like oh my god did you see the fucking snot rocket come out of her nostrils you know beat them to the punch yeah i love that um when i was 15 i want i saw stand up on on tv and uh i told my parents i don't want to try that yeah and they drove me to the show

the first joke i ever told my mom and dad were in the front row and i said hey everybody i'm josh i'm 15 i'm really nervous because this is the first fucking time i'll be able to fucking swear in front of my cock sucking mom and my parents were like he went straight for the dirty fucking i just went straight for if i'm gonna do this yeah but 15 like 15 15 and then and then the second gig i ever had i was in the display window of a uh department store in downtown hartford connecticut the dude saw me he was like hey i got a gig for you and i was like well this comedy shit's easy yeah and he put me in the in a display window which did not go that well i was 15 okay what were you doing in the display window i was hiding so

this is pre like camera phones and everything right so i was hiding and there was a microphone underneath a mailbox so i was pretending to be in the mailbox i mean you're like but you know what you know what i admire though you were that young willing to work our kid our kid is 13 and fucking i can't get her to do anything i'm like it's time come on kid yo what child labor laws are out the door how old were you when you get your first job 14 i was 13 yeah and i ran away from home at 14 and never went back. Is that right? Yeah.

I've worked my whole life, so I expect the same from this little shit bag at home. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding, B. I love you. I got my first job at 13. My kids worked. You know, when Jacob, my youngest son, right? He went to college for a semester, and he was like, this isn't for me. I said, cool.

I said, it's not for everybody. You know, do whatever you want to do. Yeah. He comes home and I go, but you know, you get three months and then you got to be out of the house. Yeah. And he was like, why? I was like, well, you're not in college, right? And he said, no.

And I said, well, grownups in the workforce don't live at my house. They live at their house. Yeah. I said, so you got three months. I love a good ultimatum yo you already told me he goes he goes why i go it's gonna be good for your self-confidence man it'll be good for you to learn how to live on your own yeah you know he told me he goes agree to disagree and i was like you can disagree with whatever the fuck you want to disagree with but three months you get three months five days into his own first place he sent me a video of him pouring a beer into captain crunch and taking a bong rip and he was like i love living

that is fucking funny though i'm scared for bailey though man i don't even think she would know how to even fucking rip a bong and fucking pour a beer and fucking cereal she's so spoiled we love her so much crazy though girls and boys are so different too though yeah yeah it's totally different girls are so much smarter they are they are really smart dangerously smart especially nowadays it's fucking insane the the kids i'm having conversations with my kid last night about pronouns he she fucking them they're all that shit i've never and she's like schooling me she's like i don't present masculine you know because our daughter you know right now on this stage in her life is claiming to be a lesbian full-on so we support her you know i'm just like if this is

how you want to be then my daughter did too at least i don't have to worry about teen pregnancy yeah i said the same thing you know that's one less dick yeah exactly exactly is she still uh is your daughter still or is she did she find the wieners not she you know i think she would still tell you she's bisexual gotcha but she dates wieners okay i i remember the day she told us we were at at dinner at our house this was the most bizarre conversation it's different when they first tell you you're just kind of like okay okay. She started like weeping. Aw. And we were at dinner and she's weeping.

And she's crying. And she goes, I go, what's wrong? And she goes, I'm so ashamed. I should have told you this. I'm so ashamed. She said, but I'm dating Amanda. And I was like, okay. And then Jacob, who was 11 years old.

The brother. He was sitting across from her and he goes, I'm in an Armenian gang. I was like, what? You're like, what is going on at this fucking dinner table exactly i was like what are we talking about tonight i even asked beth i'm like you got anything you want to share that's gonna beat either one of these yeah it was a crazy conversation dating her best friend which is i, you know what? But I also understand like, I think young girls probably feel emotion more than young boys.

Absolutely. Especially nowadays. And so they really liked, you know what I mean? Like that feeling. Oh, I bumped beavers with my best friend. Yeah, makes total sense. We were scissoring when we were 16.

So I totally understand. I did the dick pretzel with a buddy of mine. No, I didn't. I was like, did you see me? I was i was so excited all right so scaling back to this fucking scaling back to this window thing when did you so when did you start making your way to la because the first time i had ever seen you was on chelsea handlers oh yeah uh what was her chelsea lately chelsea lately i was a fucking a fucking huge fucking Chelsea fan which is crazy how it worked out later on in life because Chelsea's actually you know is producing our

reality show and fucking loves Jay I mean just fucking her and we're just fucking couple ever right no because here's what I really believe real finds real yeah real finds real yeah so you know when you see these crazy crazy like combination dinner combinations you're where you're like yeah what's snoop dogg doing with martha stewart right real respects yeah real and those two you're not gonna get a whole lot more real than chelsea either you know oh no not at all she's hilarious yeah and and she's actually who i modeled my team after how she has an all-female team so do I like when I just watched her for a couple of days and I was like, I want to do what she's doing.

She also is really, you know what? She's really good at, and she did it on the show all the time. She doesn't need all the attention all the time. And you know, a good leader delegates to people to do their job. Yeah, absolutely. And trust that you're going to do their job yeah absolutely and trusts that you're gonna do your job yeah and i'm gonna pay you well and but you know this is what i expect from you oh yeah no i'm the same way this is what exactly how i run my fucking everything's totally cool until you

start doing what you're not supposed to do how does that sound like and then and then you know what then it's not fucking cool yeah no that's it and that's it so like and like there were people that were at times she was just look man if you can't take the what she's gonna say to your face yeah it's not the right person to work for at all but you know i i got the heaviest i'd ever gotten on that show i was probably about 194 really i had i'd never thought you were super cute i had never had an office job. Right. This was when I was writing on the. So I was just sitting around.

Yeah. And I was walking up the stairs one day. And from behind me, I just heard, oh, your ass is so gross. Oh, fuck. And I turned around and there she is. She was like, you got to get your shit together. You look terrible. And you know what?

I went home and I go, Beth, have I gotten bigger? And she's like yeah i'm gonna grow bigger i'm like oh i gotta fucking get my shit together but i but yo but but you know who says that to you a fucking friend right do you know what i mean like all my friends tell me although i have so many friends that mad at me right now because they're like you just say mean things and i'm like i'm not mean i'm keeping it real like there's a huge fucking difference i'm not going out of my way to hurt your feelings i'm trying to give you constructive criticism to fucking do better and you know what else you know who i don't give that criticism to

is people i don't like right you you the people i don't like or people i don't know yeah aren't i'm not gonna give you like wow how about i tell you what i think it doesn't fucking i don't care right i don't really care. Yeah. I don't know. I don't care if you get better or not. Right. Like I'm not going to waste my time. If I'm trying to build something with you, I'm definitely going to tell you. Yeah.

So finding you on Chelsea lately was how I saw you. So how, what led up to even Hollywood and LA and just getting out there first? I'm sure Chelsea wasn't your first rendezvous. Well, so I had a lot of fun stops man i started doing stand-up actually the fourth time i was ever on stage i it might have been the fifth i opened for a guy named sam kinnison oh my god you got to meet sam well i mean he was so fucked up but dude that's fucking iconic absolutely crazy because he was so fucked up. Dude, that's fucking iconic. It was absolutely crazy because he was like, so there were two comics from me.

Yeah. Cosby, I was going to say pre-rape, but they actually probably during. I mean. You're lucky he didn't dress up in a clown suit. I'm sure he has. Or had you dressed up in a clown suit. One of those sweaters looks like a clown suit i'm sure he has i wouldn't put that how'd you dress up in a clown one of those sweaters looks like a clown suit for sure when i think of bill cosme i think of

always christmas sweaters like yeah always those crazy sweaters but his stand a little rapey if you think about it now when you think about it it definitely is now whenever you say anything about him you're like all that seems a little rapey little rapey um america's dad sounds rapey when you say that now that you know that you're like that sounds super rapey jesus i didn't think it did before but now that sounds extra terrible we're terrible human bill we love you i think no no we don't oh we don't okay fuck i don't know i don't know the whole deal with him so i don't my thing is i don't really speak on yeah

things i don't know and i didn't really follow that case i don't know if he was ever real was he convicted he was convicted he was put in jail and then he was on a on a i think they'd call it a loop a technical loop a hoopla oh. Oh, my God. Just age. He's out. Yeah, he's out. But my thing is, I feel like, and this is getting off subject, but I feel like I love women and I stand behind women 100%, but I do feel like some women are really abusing the whole Me Too thing.

So it's like, do we really know? Well, in this case, do okay and i think that like with every movement whatever movement you got there are going to be some people who try to take it back doesn't matter what movement you're in there's part of your movement that's doing it for their good right do you know what i mean But I also think that even if there are some women doing it, it was so important for it to get out what the kind of shit that had been happening there. Because look, look, man, you know, here's the way I look at it is not every guy. When I hear guys go, yeah, but not every guy. Cool.

But ask every woman in Hollywood if somebody hasn't done something scummy to them. Oh, yeah. So not every guy, but every woman. Oh, for sure. Do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. I grew up in Vegas. Oh, so you fucking, right?

I've been in the industry for a long time. Yeah, so that's my thing is like, I'm with you. I try not to speak on things. Right. And have I ever seen? Well, actually, yeah. Oh, shit. I've been me too

oh but i was just like that's flattering because you're a dude did you just grab my penis for no reason it was like horrible bosses i wish more people would do that was it like horrible bosses straight up dude oh it wasn't even a hot chick or a woman but i'm one of the look man i'm very secure with who i am right you grab my dick guy or my dick, guy or girl, I'm just going to be, I get groped. You're just going to go get the clown suit. Yeah, I just go get the clown suit. Wait here for my horn. I get touched inappropriately every meet and greet.

Wow. Every meet and greet. Everyone, at least somebody, at least grabs my ass. It's like male strippers. Everyone. Yeah. Everyone. at least somebody at least grabs my ass it's like male strippers everyone yeah everyone and so unless it's crazy right it's just not worth the the headache right now if you're gonna take a picture and i'm gonna take a picture of my hand on your nuts no probably not yeah but what if

somebody credit cards you and just yeah stares at you listen if you give yourself if you give yourself a dirty sanchez that's your fucking problem. I would definitely do that. I learned my lesson. I did that to a friend one time, and my hand smelled like a Big Mac. It was sick, and it was a girl, and it was rough. You were like, whoo, whoo, whoo. I was like, I had to think twice before swiping asses. We used to call it a credit card.

I stopped swiping after that. It was fucked up. Transaction declined. Oh, my Lord. Yeah. Sorry. A credit card. I have got to try that on somebody.

Do it to Beth. She'll love it she'll be like what is wrong with you i love your wife she is so sweet right you know like she and i are so different in so many ways right but what i love the most about her well there's so many things but she really lets me do she lets me be yeah like i take mushrooms at least once a week i want to talk to you about that once we get back to the sam kinnison and stuff like that because i microdosed for my first time yesterday and we'll talk about it in a minute um it's not enough about me let's talk about you no i mean i love talking about microdosing no i you've been the person i've wanted to talk to for a really long time about it i But she lets me, look, man, you know, and I'm a little all over the place.

Me too. You know, I'm a little, I can't be the easiest person to live with. Right. And she knows me so well. Like, so yesterday, yesterday, get ready for this. So Sunday, yesterday was supposed to be the photo shoot for my album that drops on the 19th. Awesome. And I had this whole thing set up the way I wanted it.

On Sunday, which included the way I needed my hair to look. On Sunday, I got a haircut. This lady cut my hair shorter than it's ever been ever. I hate when that happens. Jay does that too before big things. And I looked in the mirror. I'm like, this doesn't look like me anymore. And it isn't the person that I wanted.

So I had to scrap the photo shoot, right? Oh, no. And try something new. But Sunday, that Sunday night, from Sunday night to like mid-Monday afternoon, Beth knows me so well. She knew just not, that I'm not mad and I'm not mad at anybody. Right. Like I don't spend time being angry, but i need to solve a problem right so she literally is like yeah i knew for a day just to leave you alone i don't need to ask you do you need anything like and i like the fact that even

though that's not the way she solves it she knows that's the way i fucking solve it so she's like yeah just do whatever the fuck you do i love that that's how jay and i are we just let each other just be right because when you try to micromanage that's when shit gets weird in a relationship and tension and you start to resent the other person because you're like god what did i marry my fucking mom you know like what's really happening here but i got that uh total sense from just meeting her the what one time that i met her just watching her and watching you and i was just like they're super cute together she's the kindest human like sometimes i wake up and i'm like oh you're still here okay cool all right we're still rolling how long have you guys been

together we've been together since 2001 oh wow so fucking 20 years and i'm gonna tell you right now we we rolled around this morning i still like every morning i'm like i'm gonna tell you right now we we rolled around this morning i still like every morning i'm like i'm ready if you're she's like no this is we're not 30 anymore so she's like i'm gonna fuck alone yeah yeah no i get it i totally understand i want to have sex when i want to have sex yeah and jay always never wants to pull out he always wants to bust a load so it's like i gotta go to work out and fucking do squats with fucking shit dripping out of me like no thank you let's do this whenever i'm not busy you know so i totally understand you beth yeah i mean i every now and then i try to lure lure her into the room i'm like i gotta show you something she's like show me down here i'm like

yeah exactly there's a there's a shooting a flower it's shooting something i got something for you to suck on come here lady all right so let's bring it back to fucking sam kinnison and and bill those were like your first gigs but bill was just the first guy that i watched and i was like this is oh watched okay got how he tells stories and i love to tell stories on stage you know and so he tells stories but he tells them on a stool and he tells them about real things that happen to him and he doesn't swear and he doesn't really raise his voice but he still can keep everybody just pinned on him rapey wouldn't that be great if that had been his cologne rapey rapey um he uh so and and then Kennison was the first time I saw Kennison.

I was like, are we allowed to say this shit? Dude, he, Kennison used to say some wild shit. But he was, but what I realized was you can say it as long as there's a reason you're saying it. Right, exactly. And that was his background. His background was that his family was a traveling, they were uh his father was a traveling preacher and so he was a lot of stuff he said about religion came from experience yeah so it was so cool to watch him do that and so for me you know i obviously wasn't doing that when i first started right i first started i didn't come out the gate swinging no and my and my fucking the the show with kendison okay i to say i bombed isn't doesn't even it's not even the

right word right i don't know so what was your first show like the first five minutes they heckled me and then they got so, they just started talking to each other. No. So they weren't even heckling me. Oh, no. They were just talking amongst themselves. I think that's worse. Way worse.

I'm not even interesting enough to heckle. Right. Exactly. And then I just started talking to my girlfriend who was in the audience. I was like, what should I do? And she was like, just stay up there. And then so what would happen is new people would walk walk in and i only had five minutes right but i had a lot of more time to fill so i just repeated this only five minutes i had i was like hey you guys didn't

hear my jokes yeah let me tell them again and people like don't tell those shitty jokes again fuck that is hilarious but it was like just dropped into fire. And I thought, well, there's no way it can get worse than that. There's no way it can get worse than that. It's only up from here. And you know what? My girlfriend at the time, we were driving home. I remember this. So she said, well, at least you got that out of your system.

Right. Not meaning the bomb, meaning comedy. Right. She was like, you can quit now. You opened for Candaceace in but you know way to way to say you don't believe in me bitch yeah i just told her i go hey i i don't know if this is going to be my career but i'm not going out like that yeah you got the bug yeah and plus i think every comic it's a tough crowd yeah what you guys do is a special talent to be able to

engage and entertain people and make them laugh. Like that's hard. You know, what's funny is that I hear in every other side of the business, people are like, yeah, but what you guys do, but what you guys do. And I'm like, we're just spilling. We're just talking. Right. You know what? We're just talking but to make somebody genuinely belly laugh and

to like actually leave somewhere thinking like god dang he is fucking funny you know like that's a lot to engage that's a lot of energy to pull and to put out you know so to be able to do that for an hour hour and a half or however long you guys go up there for your fucking things that's a lot i have to tell you i've been doing it a long time and i still love it like it's a passion oh i love it like but i love doing all sorts of silly things man i love it when when jelly would come down i like other people on stage i like improv and i like it to feel like a family kind of you're watching like a family revival almost no i love it i think uh i saw a little gleam in your eye whenever you get to write songs too i love no it's awesome i thought that was really cool that you have that little um thing that you have in your uh show where you guys ad lib songs and

stuff that shit is fucking hilarious i so i have loved when when they invited me to come here and write that song with schultz and jelly love andrew sweetheart it was so cool to sit there i almost said the name of the dude we can't say who was here also but there was another songwriter here who was legendary yeah and i was just like this is how this happens and i one of the reasons I love moving here is that this town's packed full of creative people. Oh yeah. Totally. I mean,

Nashville, Nashville is like a Southern LA kind of like, it's just everybody here is trying to do something, trying to either, they're a musician

or they're, you know, like somebody's trying, everybody's trying to do something every day. But I love that, I love the energy. Yeah,

no, it's awesome. I love the energy yeah no it's awesome i love the energy and it's i mean beth and i have really you know we're actually going to vegas for three months oh are you when february march april what are you guys doing out there we might have to come out there and meet you guys i think you should you know we're always out there doing podcasts we're empty nesters right so i was like you know what we should do three months out every year is just live somewhere else i i'm the same way with jay i've been trying to get jay to get a fucking vacation home in vegas for fucking two years we're gonna well we're gonna live we're gonna try vegas this year and then we're gonna live somewhere else next year i think that's a good idea what the fuck why not yeah

that's a really good idea and i will you know i'm a little bit not lit beth doesn't smoke or take me so i get to you know be fucking lit all fear and loathing in las vegas walking around she's like over here dummy i'm like got it hey i'll drive honey i'll be the dd the whole three months that we're here honey it's fucking awesome but i'm psyched to go to vegas and have you got to spend time out there? Just doing gigs. Yeah. It's not the same Vegas that it used to be. It's real commercial now.

But, I mean, there's always fun stuff to do out there. You know what I want to do out there? You know I do that high live show where I smoke weed and take mushrooms? Yeah. I don't know how you do that, by the way. It's so much fun. I'm the baby with the mushrooms so tell me what happened tell me tell me well okay so i you know i battle anxiety and depression i've been on the spiritual journey for

about two years i've never had depression in my life the day i hit 40 fucking literally a day after i got hit with the worst depression i've ever had in my life and it came out of nowhere and i believe it was from touching a dead body but that's a whole nother fucking subject what one of jay's best friends passed away rest in peace chisel we love you so much and at the funeral i was rubbing his chest in the casket and literally the next day i have been battling this depression for the past two years which has sent me on this spiritual journey so i'm completely sober i've been sober for about six years. I don't do, I used to do, you know, Lord Dervs or my thing, good old Lord tab Xanax. And I used to fucking drink like a fish, you know, and I, for six years I've been sober. Um, so I've done

everything natural, like vitamins and just, I'm on a great vitamin regimen, stuff like that. Foods, all that holistically. And I still get, you know, like little bouts of depression. My anxiety is under control now, but now I have this fucking depression. So I started researching fucking psilocybin and all the benefits of it, microdosing and stuff like that. And it's taken me about two years to finally be okay with it. She started it first because she battles with depression and stuff like that i she took some can i am allowed to say took some ssris right and they did not work for her and i won't go that route because i'm just already a fucking weirdo and i don't need a pill to make me even weirder

yeah so i've been scared and she her and i just started discussing fucking uh doing the the shrooms and so she started last week and she started feeling better just in a week so yesterday for sure i fucking took the tiniest amount because my body's so sensitive you know but i also accidentally took too much fucking vitamin d so i fucking am puking my brains out yesterday and i'm like this is it I can't do shrooms and I also fucking freaked myself out so fucking all day long I'm in bed watching cartoons and fucking just sitting in bed drinking bottles of water because I felt sick from the vitamin d it wasn't the microdose I woke up today I felt a little low but I took my vitamins which is just

like they're all just made out of like food and stuff like that. It's just really cool. Um, line called standard process. I don't know. Oh, good. Yeah. Yeah.

I love standard process. Um, and I felt better. So, you know, today's going to be day two when I get home. They also made me really tired. Is that normal?

Or was that the vitamin D overdose? Yeah. Yeah. Somebody OD'd on vitamin D. By the way, that's when you know you're over 40. Yeah, no, for sure. What'd she die on? Vitamin D?

Fucking couldn't believe it. Vitamin D toxicity. And of course it had to be the D. It couldn't be A or B or C. Had to be the D. Had to die from the D. Yeah. Overdose of the D.

Yeah. I will tell you. So for me, also dealt with depression yeah and the mushrooms help a lot yeah but i want to introduce you to a woman here she's a holistic healer but she also deals a lot in like uh reiki energy but also love that in um in healing yourself through the mushrooms wow she's amazing. Beth uses her. But I want to get you her number, okay?

I would love that. And she'll come out to your house and... Yay. Just reiki me the fuck up. She'll reiki you. She'll stick some vitamin D right up your ass. Oh, I'm down. I love a good vitamin D overdose.

The mushrooms... Okay. And one of the reasons that... And so you are, you do keep your body healthy. Oh, yeah. So the mushrooms are natural. Yeah. Which is, and same with weed, but like. I don't do weed.

Right. Because of my anxiety. Probably a really good idea. Yeah. But the microdosing, if you, the first time you do it because your body is so sensitive, you'll feel happy you'll never take enough to hallucinate or anything like that right but i would say monday wednesday friday how many how often are you doing it twice a week yeah twice or three but i wouldn't go more than that

and just start with like a 0.3 yeah pill are they pills no it's the actual shroom so we have to find somebody for you and i think i can um yay who will grind them up and put them in pill capsule for you dope and so that way you know you don't have to taste them because they taste terrible i fucking messaged her yesterday i go do i chew it god i chewed it it tastes terrible and i think it freaked me out it tastes like a camel's ass yeah no it was bad and then my throat felt coated by it and i was just like oh god it's not good and it was the tiniest piece and that taste is bad so if people like drink the tea i'm like no yeah no thank you but we'll get you a capsule and they can come i would start with like a 0.3 yeah and see what happens yeah but i i i

really do like you know what else it does oddly like how long have you been doing shrooms do you microdose or do you just fucking eat them like candy it really depends it's like whatever i'm in the mood for if i take him in the morning i microdose but if i take him at night i'm like what's the point of microdosing let's see what's out there right you know i want to get to that point too like i want to be able to have like a good trip once a month you know even if you get to like a 1.5 grams which is not trip but for somebody like you you're the i don't know how to put it things will have texture right well i could i told jay yesterday i shut my eyes and the back of my eyelids look like uh thumb prints and he's like

he's like you because he's like you didn't take enough to feel it and i was like babe trust me my body is so sensitive and i'm so in tune with my body i was like i can definitely feel that little tiny bit that i took so you and beth are a lot alike i think the the purer that you've kept your body the more in tune you get with it and so she'll say the same thing she's like the littlest little little i know you think i'm crazy yeah but i can feel almost everything oh yeah me too yeah it's bananas yeah no it sucks a needle going in my vein i can feel like it's insane i can it's just my the guy who does our ivs all the time he's just like a fucking weirdo it's crazy because sometimes

i'm like did i take that yeah i uh maybe i should eat more i've taken that yet this morning we did uh i had never had a delta eight edible i don't know what that is god that sounds fucking brutal so someone gave me a couple of them this morning and they were like have you ever had what is the delta 8 brownie um a delta 8 so delta 9 is the thc right okay well the extract is the delta 8 which is more of a legal version because they only make delta 9 illegal oh shit eight is a barrier they're not yeah they're not as strong as the ones that i get to normally take right but it has a different high to it but i'm on board for like i was in portland this weekend right and some would it was late at a late show and some dude was like hey in the middle of show i go yes and he goes you want this edible and i was like sure no so you're brave i get scared i'm like oh god i go it's gonna

be in a wrapper and he was like yeah it's sealed okay and so but i like i i love shit like that yeah i love that tightrope i i don't know why have you always been like that been able to do hallucinogenics i've been so scared of them my whole life and i don't know why i tripped i did lsd when i was younger and i saw satan and my ex who is now deceased i saw the devil so i stopped doing fucking lsd i didn't smoked a sherm stick one time a what a sherm stick what the fuck is a sherm stick you know like i don't even know what sherm is but it's it's hood shit but it's like a blunt dipped in like bombing and fluid oh my fucking god you guys have never smoked a sherm stick are we the weird ones maybe that's why i'm so fucked up you guys have never smoked formaldehyde before what the fuck's wrong with you squares fucking squares come on no yeah well that laid me out like a

fucking elephant tranquilizer i couldn't even fucking move it's what you keep dead people in yeah dude that is then i did shrooms one time and fucking i thought i was little john and michael jackson and i had a blast yeah is that on camera that probably no i wish it was though but i had a blast so i've never had a problem with shrooms i just you know my anxiety just doesn't allow me to be like oh yeah i want to fucking trip balls you know but you need to baby step it on your oh yeah for sure you need to baby step it but i would definitely try the the capsule in that way you don't have to taste it you don't have to do any of that stuff and take it in the morning and i'm telling you has it helped you you know what it did for me it also sometimes now when i feel myself sinking in i had a realization

once where i was like wait a second wait a second i was sad i took this pill i'm not sad anymore same brain yeah and it was like that realization was like same brain same fucking brain yeah so why not just not choose that right like i like i really started to try to get my brain to go no no no no make a different choice do you feel like the shrooms helped you get there yeah with being able to dissect that yeah the shrooms helped me realize oh it really i'm the same fucking guy right same fucking brain this pill right so i have to be able to figure it out i have to like when i started doing it i really was like okay so much about how i feel or or how i'm feeling when i thought about it was just think about something else just make a different choice do you know i'm gonna tell you

something i was a little high but'm going to tell you something, and I was a little high, but I want to tell you something profound happened to me this weekend. I want to hear. I love that. I love high epiphanies. I have been in a little bit of a spiritual search myself. Yay.

And about changing my attention and choosing happiness over. Isn't it crazy when you get to that point in your life? It's like the shadow work alone is exhausting, but so rewarding. Why do most of us spend our day thinking about what we can't do and what we don't have instead of what we can do and what we do have? Amen. Do you know what I mean? Oh, 100%. But for whatever reason, our brains are wired. don't have instead of what we can do and what we do have amen do you know what i mean oh 100 but but for whatever reason our brains are wired like when you have a conversation in your car

it's never a good one you're never talking to somebody about hey thanks for those shoes i love them it was like hey motherfucker yeah like you're all the stories you tell yourself make yourself mad right or you it's i have to do the next thing yeah it's always it's never live in the moment it's okay what do i have to do in the future yeah the minute you open your eyes we're programmed to okay i gotta check my phone check my emails i have to you know do this work uh how's the kids doing like the minute you open your eyes you're we're hardwired to have anxiety pretty much of getting through the day and what we have to get done but life is so cool yeah do you know what i mean life is so fucking cool and a lot of times look we all life has ups and downs and it doesn't by the way i know people who don't have money and i've had

not had money for a big portion of my life yeah look at people who don't have money like they don't have problems right no that's not true that's not the truth at all and and doug stanhope was if an amazing comic but he does a whole bit about you can't compare sucks and you can't because what sucks in your life sucks with the same extreme as what sucks in your life right you you're a different live in different houses different socio it doesn't matter right the suck in your life adds the same stress as the suck in your life, right? I was taught I was in a cab with this dude an uber and he pulls over and It was he the uber car was different than a license plate was different, but he knew my name and I go I go hey, man

he goes hey, hey, my name's Hussein and he goes he was telling me I got this rental car and The uber hasn't done it and he had all the paperwork out and we get in the car and i go cool i go um you know how hard is that he goes for a guy named hussein that's what i laughed when you said his name because i was like he goes for a guy named hussein it's impossible it's impossible and he goes and people say some really mean things and i go oh i say people say mean things he goes about he i said about what and he said you know what and i said what do you say and he said i just say no english no and i said why and he said because you know what when they used to get me angry then they get out of the car they don't remember me but i'm stuck with that anger for

the rest of the night oh they gave me that energy i don't want that energy yeah and you know what he said he said i decided from here on out i don't want anger no more anger for me and i was just like blown away yeah yeah and he goes so i just don't accept it and if i feel myself getting mad i think about why i'm mad and what's better because when you're mad you're never in you can't solve while you're mad it's impossible to solve anger is not productive and so that's that's what he was just like i would rather solve that problem that's making me angry yeah than to stay angry and i was just like this fucking hussein like fucking mind-blowing dude fucking hussein But the very next day, look, man, the people in the restaurant business right now are in the shit.

Nobody can get enough people. You know what I mean? And everybody's out of the house at once and they have no staff. So I understand it. And I'm travel a bunch. So I get it. We were at this place in Portland. I won't say where it was.

But not only did the was the food wrong twice but there was hair in it oh shit the i asked i was like hey when i ordered the coffee i was like can you get it with steamed milk and she goes nah the bar is too busy he won't steam it for you and i was like okay so all this stuff right and um i had just said something to the owner about i was like look i don't need any money back but like there was a hair in the food. It's just weird that, and I've, I've worked in food and beverage my whole,

it's weird that nobody came out and apologized. Yeah. That is strange. Or said, Hey, you don't have to pay for the one with the hair in it. Right. And she went,

or here's a free donut. Yeah. She went off. Wow. And my son was with me and my daughter and i was looking at her and i heard hussein like oh because you know what he's a little angel she probably she she was like we're understaffed she started reading out her real problems but had nothing to do with the hair and my fucking food right but this is like and i was like yeah man whatever yeah you know have a great day just have

a great because if i'd gotten into it with her that shit would have stuck with me and you would have been pissed all day all day yeah and just fucking yeah no i get it do you know what i mean like and i really have implemented it the last since that and i'm just like this fucking hussein yeah might have changed my life oh crazy just by fucking that one car ride that one car ride with that dude just i don't want to be angry i'm like me neither it's just like mind-blowing right like totally mind-blowing i love lessons like that and like epiphanies like that because those are the ones that will stick with you for the rest of your life like you're you're never gonna to forget Hussein.

No. You know? No. That's just awesome. Because I think that is going to, that is almost like, I was telling Beth, I've been working with this sentence in my brain of these things of how I've been fixing my, not fixing, but evolving. And that car ride was like the period to the sentence.

Yeah. I really told her, I'm like, it really felt like that one thing that I was like, what am I missing? Right. Oh, yeah, that. That part that's still in my life, I don't want that part anymore. Yeah. Isn't it crazy how the universe will serve you what you need on a dish just like right in front of you?

Like, here you go. Eat it or don't eat it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're willing to like look at it. I'm telling you. I've been listening to this dude's podcast. And. You can say his name.

His name is Jim Fortin. And so much of what he says is real common sense for me. But there were some parts that he was talking about. Like that thing I was telling you about when you talk to yourself in your car. And the stories you tell yourself. And I was always a real negative talker to myself call myself a piece of shit do you know what i mean like whatever you're fucking this is why this is what my husband does this is why this happens to you because you're a fucking piece

of shit you don't it doesn't happen because you don't deserve it to happen and that's the track that played in my head no matter what was on the outside and this this dude was like, listen, you can say what you want on the outside and you can keep trying to, to do different things, but it's not gonna change who you are, who you're, you are. Right. If you keep telling yourself you're a piece of shit,

that's, or you don't deserve that stuff. Guess what? You're never going to get that stuff. Right. And he said, even speaking it in the air, he said,

even if you get it, you're going to lose it because inside that's who you think you are it, you're going to lose it. Because inside, that's who you think you are. So you're going to figure out a way to not have it. And one thing he was like, look at these lottery winners or even Mike Tyson who had all this money. They get that money, but inside they're poor. Yeah. So they're going to do what they... You wonder why lottery winners lose all their money?

Yeah. Or croak. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. But it's fucking crazy. No, it's crazy what you speak into the air always comes back to you we have a thing in our whole and our friendships and relationships where i always say put it in the air because what you man you can you manifest with words like your life just started really believing that no it's real it is so my life is a manifestation i have always

envisioned being a musician's wife my dad was a musician you know so like always being a musician's wife down to the car that i drive down to you know having my own you know podcast that's doing great like literally i always said 50 to 70 000 downloads a month whenever we first started just to get a guest on here i would fake it till we make it i would be like i get 50 to 70 000 downloads a month whenever we first started just to get a guest on here i would fake it till we make it i would be like i get 50 to 70 000 downloads a month we get 50 to 70 000 downloads a month now it's fucking awesome it's fucking crazy when you just really speak something in your life and you just believe it you're just like bro and then it happens that's the craziest shit all right let me ask you something because i really am starting to believe this. No, it's real. Because, look, we're all 70% water, right? Energy affects water.

So your energy, your water, is going to affect somebody else's water. Right. The energy you're putting out. Like, that makes sense to me now. I didn't always believe in energy. And then I remember a buddy of mine was like listen dude walk into a concert a sporting event where the home team's winning can you feel it oh and you're like yeah and you're like he's like what is that absolutely it's just it's you can't deny that

you can't deny that sometimes somebody walks into a room and everyone's like, Oh, that feels terrible. Nicole Arbor. Right. But you know, but you were like, if that feels like it doesn't feel nice. Yeah, no, for sure. And so like Jay,

Jay's concerts. If you go to Jay's concerts, you can feel the pain in his crowd. Yo, that Ryman. Mm hmm. Electric, right? Got Ryman, you know, Beth and Ih and i go let's go out there let's

get in it so so it's a combination of pain and by the way i must have missed the nicole arbor thing oh yeah i'll have to fill you okay she's not she's only worth that two seconds okay um so but um you can feel the positivity. Yeah. And you can, you know what? It's like, it's the closest thing for church that those people are going to get. It's an emotional and spiritual experience. Do you know, do you know every, so when I, what strikes me the most about his shows is,

and I told him this just when we were at Zany's. I was like, the connection your fans feel with you is not a normal artist-fan connection. And there was every walk of life in the crowd, every shape and size. And what's amazing is that every different shape, size, walk of life sees themselves in him. Oh, yeah. The most unlikely person you look at, they sees themselves in him oh yeah the most unlikely person you look at they see themselves in him and it is such an endearing um you know when he i don't know how long ago he asked me he was like will you open yeah and i remember i put it in my calendar and then he called me like the day before he was like i forgot to call you and i was like

it's not my calendar dude yeah do you know what I mean? Like, because that's the dude, that's the type of dude. And I'm sure it's, that's the type of loyalty he gets from people. Oh yeah. Because that's, you know what I mean? You want to be on that team. Yeah. Now Jay is, he's the, he's the king underdog, you know? And he, he goes, he's for the sad souls, the broken.

He's for the people who, the voice of the voiceless, pretty much. You know, people don't, and I don't mean this in a mean way, but a lot of Jelly Roll fans have a really hard life. People don't give them a chance. He gives them a chance. He also, when you look at him and you hear his story, he gives hope. Hope, yeah. He gives hope. He's like a pastor. hope hope yeah he gives hope he's like a pastor i can be in the jail cell and that's what i can end up doing if i just decide to take another path totally that it's very powerful just his

whole who am i yeah now i'm daddy i've wanted to take mushrooms with him too oh he's fucking hilarious i feel so bad the last trip that he had i was fucking so anxiety out it was tripping me out so him and his brother got so fucked up in gulf shores that they went crabbing all night on shrooms yeah no you gotta you listen one time though on fucking tour i i'm so glad i wasn't there he did acid and shrooms together oh no he fucking literally what are those things called that you're jet ski no the what are the things that you ride around town and everybody the birds oh the bird scooter yeah the bird scooter he rode around on one of those for nine hours screaming through the streets just yahoo he would facetime me and i call him the human pineapple because his hair would be standing

up like this his eyes oh my god josh through the fucking facetime we're just he was he looked like fucking spongebob with a pineapple top like it was crazy dude i couldn't believe it he's a nut when he and then like if i can four o'clock in the morning, he's like, I don't want to do this anymore. He's at Denny's trying to sober up in Utah. Just fucked up. And I'm like, babe, go to bed. He's like, I can't. Acid and mushrooms. I just heard last week some people drop the liquid acid in their eyeballs.

How? To have those balls. Like who can do that me how high do you need are you trying to meet god because that's what's happening under the tongue wasn't fast enough directly into your fucking skull that's like i had a buddy of mine who used to put um vodka soaked tampons in his asshole at work so nobody would i can't even talk shit because i used to put cocaine up my ass no yeah does that get you higher it's so good does it really does it get you higher so you get like a little baby syringe things and of course you don't have

the needle but you put the line that you want to do in there and you put it with water and you just squash squash right up the old hooter and fucking you don't get the drain yeah but does it drip out your asshole no i mean mine's tight so so and cocaine's expensive so i'm clenching anyway i'm getting every last drop of that shit so listen but no you get high as hell without the fucking aftershock this was years ago okay when I used to party but yeah

tampon soaked okay how did he figure out to do that well because I think he wanted to drink at work and not get caught what a fucking savage dude yeah yeah he was in it I have to tell you I guess I'm just a regular old mouth

mouth ingester of drugs i mean i don't need it in my eyeball i don't need it up my asshole i just just the mouth you know what i mean is that am i crazy no no no i mean in my old time i'm an old timer no no just a mouth listen when you do drugs like hardcore drugs you get weird you know shit gets weird when you become an addict shit gets weird and i was addicted to cocaine very you know shit gets weird when you become an addict shit gets weird and i was addicted to cocaine very you know i was a fucking just i heard your hooker story in fucking vegas and i couldn't relate more i used to be one of those girls who knocked on the door oh let me tell you that worked for a service can you tell the hooker story i really want to get

back to you and say you know like i've i're going to get there. But the hooker story. I saved the end so that I didn't hear the end. I only got to where she had the peephole covered. Yeah. Do you remember the pamphlet? Yeah. They would slap you. Oh, absolutely.

And it's a service that you're calling. Yes. So you're calling a service. There's a phone. Hi, baby. Yeah. You know, like. Sexy voice. Yeah. Great. Yep. they got to make sure you got the 250 you know or the 99 depending on what flyer you got and yeah we i think we got the cheaper flyer yeah okay oh it might have been 49.99

but it was it was wow it was So we call this woman. Yeah. Because my brother, I had never had a hooker. Right. And my brother was like. I love that the brother was in on it too. He was like, you need to. He was like, I'll go to sleep. Yeah, which we know is never the way.

Right. He was like, you should just try it. And if you don't like it, you don't have to do it again. But like, let's give it a run. And I was like, yeah, all right. You know. I mean, everybody needs a hooker one time in it again. But like, let's give it a run. Right. And I was like, yeah, all right. You know. I mean, everybody needs a hooker one time in their life. I mean, let's.

I've ordered them. Yeah, let's do it. Right. So we got up and I called and there was only a couple of women left in the service. And they offered me a petite Asian or a giant Puerto Rican. And I had had sex with petite Asians before. I had never even seen a giant Puerto Rican. And I like things a little,

you know what I mean? Yeah, thickums. We love a thickum. I like them thick. And I like also, why am I going after something that I... Already had. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you're in Vegas.

I'm in Vegas. One in Rome. Red Rover, Red Rover, send the Puerto R had? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Vegas went in Rome, red Rover, red Rover, send the Puerto Rican on over, you know? And so we sit there and we're, um, we both kind of nod off and go to sleep and yeah,

they take forever. Those. Yeah. They take forever. I was always on time. They was about my money, but that's, I think they have to know

that most people are going to be asleep I think well these girls just they're not about their business so normally

she probably was at home sleeping and had to get ready so they're knocking the door and my brother was sleeping and

we were both sleeping and I was like dad dad and he didn't wake And I was like, Dad. Dad. And he didn't wake up. I was like, you know what? Fuck it.

Let's just go back to sleeping. Oh, they don't go away. No, they're like Jehovah's Witness. They stay there until you answer the door. You know? Yeah. And so I started to creep over. Because I really did want to see what a giant Puerto Rican looked like. I want to see what a giant Puerto Rican looked like.

And so. Think of like A-Rod. That. And also, I wasn't sure. Are we talking about heavy giant? Right. Tall giant? Right.

Muscular giant? Right. Which type of giant? Yeah. So I kind of creep over the door and I think I'm being quiet. Mm-hmm. And I slide my head up and I go to look at the peephole and she's got her thumb over the peephole.

And she must have heard, but she's... No, they look in the peephole and they can see your shadow when it's coming. So she goes, you got to open the door to see the goods. That's a good bitch. Yeah, dude. And I was like, this sounds like someone who's been rejected through a peephole before somebody's looked at that peephole and been like yo no thank you not opening up that door oh my god now when she there were a couple things that were different about her so when i opened the door giant porter probably this is the

part i don't know she was taller way taller than me wow and and was she thickums or just tall tall uh you know had was a little wiry with the with the vascular so i was just like i first thing i just took a quick gander the old adam's apple gander just to make sure you never know in vegas right right um and so i was like you know what we're good you know come on in no adam's apple i'm plowing i actually did i asked her i took a look at the adam's apple and i was like hey i go this is, this is gonna sound weird. I go, can I see your knuckles? Oh no. Did she know what you were talking about? She was like this and I go, yeah, come on.

You can tell if a girl is a girl by her knuckles? Man hands. I got man hands. No, you do not. They're little fat, chunky sausage. Yeah. But you look at the way you take care of them. First of all.

Right. So you can tell. Okay. Gotcha. Okay. Cause I got some little sausage links over here. Yeah. But they're,

they're like the knuckles and the beat up part of it. It's just different. It's just different. She walked. I'm going to be looking at everybody's hands now. Oh yeah. You definitely can tell. I'm doing it.

Um, the, uh, the one thing that threw me with her is that she was carrying a bigger purse than I was used to seeing. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? She's got all her hose supplies. Yo, so she walks in.

The first thing she did was she saw my brother. She goes, no. Well, yeah, because there's two guys in a room. Yeah, she goes, nobody says two. I go, no, no, he's asleep. He's passed out. She was like, you don't think I've heard that before? Right.

And I was like, probably. That's probably right. You probably have heard that. And I go, he's really, I promise that before? Right. And I was like, probably. That's probably right. You probably have heard that. And I go, he's really, I promise you he's asleep. And I picked up his arm. And he was just, he's not a pill guy. And he had taken his anti. And he was out.

I go, he's out. And she goes, okay. And she put down the bag. And the bag sounded heavy. So as a joke, I go, what's in the bag? And she goes, maybe you'll find out later what's in the bag. And I was like, well, now I kind of want to see. Yeah, like.

Now let's take a look at what's in the bag. Yeah. And she goes, I got a couple of rules. And I said, okay. Oh, they got a bunch of rules. Yeah. She goes, rule number one, don't ask me my real name. And I was like, you think we're going to be Facebook friends?

Like, I'm totally cool with me not knowing your real name. She goes, no sex from behind. And I said, why? And she goes, I can choke you. Well, but she was also, she's like, I don't want you taking off your condom. And I was like, taking off my condom? Oh, God. I have one on my asshole right now.

I have one on each foot. I'm coming out like the boy in the plastic bubble. I laminated the tip of my dick show. Yuck. I'm pretty good with. I go, do you have problems with that she goes yeah oh because guys say it doesn't feel good i'm like no who's what the fuck yeah that's a hard but that was right when i was like guys are fucking gross oh yeah who's raw dog and a lot thoughts that's what we call it who's raw oh they do all it's called okay so i don't know if you know this i've been in the adult industry for the past 20 years i still

am but more like only fans online stuff and um they have what's called gfe which is girlfriend experience yeah and those girls will suck your dick without condoms and they will fuck you without condoms. It just and they do about five or six of those in a day. No. Yeah. No. Yeah. And I'm not knocking it.

You know, some of my girlfriends, they're in the industry and that's what they do. And they make a shit ton of money. But do they get like how often you got to get tested? A lot of the girls back in the day whenever i was working uh didn't get tested they didn't know you know what was going on unless something presented itself for them to get tested nowadays i'm sure people are a lot more safe they must be yeah for sure yeah yeah yeah because when she was like and this was a little bit ago it was pre-bath yeah when she was when she was like yeah you know

i want you to take it off the condom like yeah not a problem yeah we're pretty good on the no condom thing yeah um and then so this is the thing this is the weirdest okay so she was bigger than me and um she was like you got an hour and you're on the clock that's crazy that she even gave you the full hour but she said you got an hour and you're on the clock. That's crazy that she even gave you the full hour. But she said you got an hour. Right. Which probably doesn't mean. And I basically was like, hey, just, you know, we could watch an entire episode of Friends.

Just call it a night. Have sex. We still have time left in the hour. So that's where we're going to be. She was like, so she took. Here's what was crazy. She took off her shirt. She gave me a little,

she gave me a little tap to the chest to sit me on the, on the bed. But she was so much stronger. She knocked me, she knocked me over on the bed and I made this noise. Cause I wasn't expecting to get knocked out you know she was just and then I was just right away I was like a boner killer yes because I right away I was like this could go bad real fast my brother's on a xanax bar yeah and what she got in the bottom of that purse like

what's about to happen yeah and so here's when it got really weird ready for the weirdest of the world i can't wait because this was not we i believe we were because i was not rolling in any sort of dough i believe we were on the 49.99 special the blue light special i believe we were on that pamphlet right so she takes off her shirt and boobs look good but But again, you know, she looks jacked. Yeah. You know what I mean? She's got like shoulder. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Look, shoulders and wiry. And she takes off her bra. This was the. So she had one real titty. One fake one. So we got one of these. Oh, no.

Her left titty looked like it had had a stroke. Oh, no. And her right titty was looking at me. Oh, no. Her left titty looked like Stallone's lip. Like, hey. Oh, no. And it didn't have an implant in it?

No. The right titty. She got a one for two. A Groupon? You can't get a Groupon. In Mexico. Yeah, yeah. But I asked her.

Puerto Rico. I asked her about it. And she goes, yeah, I couldn't afford to get them done at the same time. But the doctor said he'd do one and do another one. And I was like, hey, you should have saved up and just got them both done at the same time. Because this is fucking really weird. And she was like, most guys don't care. I'm like, yeah, well, well i'm gonna call this a night like before we go any further you can already beat the shit

out of me oh my god and i was like let me and she got insulted she was mad she when i told her this is it for me i'm not gonna yeah she was like give me the money right i was like totally right she was mad at me she was like are you insulting me are you saying that you can't oh my gosh she was like legitimately angry and she wanted an extra hundred dollars which i did not have oh and she made a threat about making a phone call and having somebody come yeah because those services yeah right well she'll get in trouble with the service is why she was tripping so bad so she was like i'm gonna need a hundred i don't she was like don't make that person come to the door right and i was because by the way i was assuming that since i thought she could probably kick my ass yeah that whoever was coming to the door could

definitely do you know what i mean like right if she can kick my ass right and then i just heard my brother go i got a hundred dollars in my pocket oh shit your brother was listening the whole time that is you're like i'm in this fucking situation because of you dan yeah it was fucking i had to give her two hundred dollars and we got her out and dan was like i go dan what's the deal dude i was getting uncomfortable he goes yeah i just really wanted to see if she was going to pull the dildo out of that purse and i go that's what you were waiting on he was like yeah he goes i go were you gonna let something happen he goes nah but i would have let it get real uncomfortable that's what you were waiting on? He was like, yeah. He goes, I go, were you going to let something happen?

He goes, nah, but I would have let it get real uncomfortable. That's a brother. That is such a brother. Yeah, he was like, I was going to let it get real uncomfortable. So you've never ordered a hooker since then? No, you know what? I met Beth soon after that. Oh, and you didn't need hookers anymore.

She's pretty great, man. Yeah, she's hot too. She's hot. You know, and she wouldn't want me to anymore. She's pretty great, man. Yeah. She's hot, too. She's hot. You know, and she wouldn't want me to tell you how old she is, but she's like, she's so like, I don't even know how it still happens. Oh, you didn't love. Yeah, it's good. You know, part of that has helped our relationship is how much I travel.

Yeah. Oh, same with Jay and I. We always have our separate time. We need it. It's very important when you're married and you're in a relationship to not beat up each other's asses literally jay left for what two days last week and we missed each other so much just being away from each other in those two days we go two weeks sometimes without seeing each other and it's healthy isn't it fun to miss somebody oh it's it's so fun. I love that. Just the reconnection and just like being giddy and like, you know, just being so happy to be around them. Because it lets you, when you're away from somebody, you think about the good stuff.

Yeah. And so you romanticize them over and over again in your head. So it's not like the same, not that you wake up and you're like this bitch yeah you know like god i gotta do this again oh my god but you you get to re-fall in love because you're romanticizing oh i can't wait or you think about the good times so i agree with you man i think it's like for us it's been fucking 20 years i mean geez that's not that's nothing to scoff at 20 years nowadays especially in the fucking you know business that you're in and she's actually writer director yeah so i mean you guys have seen marriages fucking fall apart quickly i'm sure in the industry that you guys

both work in so but i think it's for for everybody you know i think something the biggest the biggest thing that we didn't do to each other that i think some people do when they get married is hey i married you great hey now there's a couple things i'd like you to change and you're like no bet you wait we got we got married yeah so you were all in already right but i always think it's unfair for you to people get married and be like cool but now you need to change this part yeah i've never understood that women do that a lot to their men, and I'm just like, I love Jay the way he is.

That's why you married him. Right, if he was any different, I wouldn't want him. Like, that's weird to me, and I don't get off on trying to control somebody like that, you know? So I think letting your significant other just be is the best advice that you could give anybody. Yeah, man, and have enough confidence

to know that that's okay. Right. That you don't have yeah man and and have enough confidence yeah to know that that's okay right that you don't have to be there and see everything and know every person they talk to jay and i have an open relationship so even when he's on tour if he finds if there's a bitch he wants to suck him off if i can go ahead as long as i know about it so i don't have some bitch in my dm fucking like i sucked your man off last night you know i could be like oh yeah i know about it so i don't have some bitch in my dm fucking like i sucked your man off last night you know i could be like oh yeah i know he told me you know like as long as i know beforehand completely fine you know but that is such a it's funny right some people would put that in one category i think that's so evolved it's crazy yeah like, because you're putting your love for each other above everything else. Yeah, for sure.

Above making that truly is the most important thing. Yeah. I love you. You love me. This is how you treat me. This is how I treat you. And this is how we like to live our life. Yeah.

And everything else for that. Yeah, totally. I mean, I just, I love bitches, though. I like to watch Jay get sucked off too. So we have threesomes on the road and stuff like that too. But I also, my dad was a musician and I've seen my dad, my dad is fucking 70 something years old. Shout out Bill. Love you. Um, fucking, and he does not have a normal relationship to this day because women don't accept him for who he is. You know, Jay and I run wild together, you together. And that's one of our things that we pride ourselves on.

At home, it's very like you wouldn't even know. We're like super square at home. But then on the road, we have this other life where it's like we have fun and we do everything outside of the house so that when we come home, we can have kind of a normal house for Bailey to live in. Do you find that people are when they

meet you are a little surprised about or think you're going to be different than you are as far as wild and crazy oh absolutely yeah yeah no for sure it's it's the element of surprise i live for i think it's awesome because most people would look at me and they would be like oh god she's fucking naked on the internet she's fucking shows her butthole on only fans fucking you know like and where else are you gonna show it right I mean it'd be reckless to do it on Twitter I mean I mean for free come on um fucking uh you know and I just love surprising people that's actually why I named my podcast dumb blonde because people look at me and they're like oh god another fucking stupid blonde and then I open my mouth and they're like wait a second there she's got substance you know and it was kind of like an homage to Dolly

Parton too because she's the ultimate dumb blonde yeah but that she is yeah I mean I love listening she's not dumb no I love listening to interviews with her yeah but but that's what struck me the most I listened to a couple of your podcasts obviously and i was like oh she's really smart no thank you yeah i appreciate that like in that it makes sense the two of you together to me makes total sense and a reality show about you guys which is an an unconventional but a very conventional family yeah because what to me what's conventional is that you guys love each other and that you have a family unit that's to me what a conventional family is yeah but how you love and all that other shit is up to your particular household yeah totally you know what

i mean yeah i'm psyched to see i'm psyched to see how that turns out yeah it's gonna be fun and mimi keeps is keeping me in the dark i don't know if we've got picked up or what's happening but they're already planning on shooting and stuff i'm telling so much i don't even know if i'm allowed to say all this but they're already planning on shooting like next year and stuff so we're like they're planning on shooting then yeah for sure so let's get back to you real quick okay after your significant or not i don't even after your girlfriend ex-girlfriend didn't believe in you what happens then oh well that was uh because we kind of left it like a cliffhanger i went to seattle i started doing stand-up up there i met a dude named joey diaz okay yeah jay loves joey

yeah that's my guy man and um joey and i and a couple of the dudes um let me think if there's anybody else a guy named Brody Stevens who passed away a couple years ago um we all started up there and it I just caught the bug yeah you're like this is what I want to do with the rest of my life I just got the bug and then I met a girl who had two kids and then she got pregnant and then um we moved down to California together and just started trying to do it, man. Yeah. And did you know, I guess I didn't know. You think you're ready.

But then when you get down to Los Angeles and you see like professional professionals. Crazy, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's got it. Got it. Got it. We watched that special on. I don't know if's netflix jay's obsessed with the comedy yeah circuit

like he loves that that's all he'll watch podcasts and comedy that's it he fucking doesn't want to hear rap music doesn't want nothing yeah but we watched the thing about uh polly shore's mom mitzi yeah mitzi and we watched actually yeah. I actually just talked to Pauly Shore the other day. Yeah. Crazy. He was here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He told me that. I met Pauly fucking probably fucking 20 years ago when I was stripping in Vegas. He used to hang out at Olympic Gardens all the time.

Sounds about right. He's a sweetheart. He's a real sweetheart. He's a good dude. Yeah, so we watched that. And just seeing how cutthroat the industry is is but yet how much of a family you guys are is really cool well you know comics are a bunch of broken toys right and nobody gets on stage because they feel good about themselves right i mean that's not nobody's that's a really good way

to put it nobody's like i feel great about myself let me stand in front of a bunch of strangers and have them judge me for an hour you know and let me talk shit to him about them yeah i so i went down in and honestly like i i wasn't going to be any good until that the relationship was just not good right gotcha it wasn't good and so we split up um i ended up keeping all three of the kids her two kids and my kid oh and that's fucking admirable most people wouldn't do that most men wouldn't do that no i think it's you know i was raised by a single dad so i think that's really cool yeah you get it so but you're they're your kids you know yeah and um and then what a weird thing happened so i couldn't afford therapy i was making a thousand dollars a month we all lived in one room and so the stage ended it started to be my the only place i could emote and so i started to be

able to tell the difference between telling the truth on stage where and before that i had just been telling jokes right and the difference in the reaction from the crowd. Because people were starting to connect with you. Well, they connect with honesty. Right. So they connect. And some of the jokes weren't as funny. Right. They weren't laughing as much because I hadn't figured it out yet.

But more people came up to me after the show and talked to me because they connected. Right. Right. And that is what we all want right and so that was such a good way and for me to be like ah and then i did a one person show that was part comedy and part um you know just stuff about raising the kids by myself and figuring out how to do it as a dad and all that shit and still trying to work my dream and all that shit right and i got a couple tv deals out of there and after that i just i i never know i took a long break from stand-up

yeah because i was writing on tv shows i wrote on a show called yes dear i wrote on will smith's show i wrote a a show on called cuts um and then and then um i did last comic standing and then um i started to get back into stand-up a little bit and chelsea called she was like hey were you guys friends or just knew each other from the circuit both we had done some drugs and and uh run around together a little bit every time she comes here she had spuck and jay up for shrooms yeah we we we'd done some drugs and run around together we had gone to one party together where we were taking ecstasy and um to see her on ecstasy would be fucking awesome yo okay does she turn into like a complete sexy kitten okay wait so i mean because i could have because i know how I am on ecstasy, and I just fucking love everybody. First of all, to me, okay, again, you have to like, but when she goes, she goes.

Right. And I like that, too. Yeah. You know how many drugs I do? However many you got. Right. The drug of choice is more. Yeah.

So let's not, what do you mean, do I want to do more? Is there more? Yeah. Yeah. So. Just not up the butt right i don't need to like just the mouth just a mouth drug drugs do you have i'll take a mouth i'll take a mouth mushroom a mouth edible i'll you know i don't need my alcohol in my asshole i'll take it in the mouth i mean that's just i know it's crazy right i know i'm gonna get a lot of comments after this fucking ass only takes his drugs in the mouth what kind of dick oh yeah fucking

california guy all he does is drugs in the mouth huh fucking loser yeah no i'm sure people are gonna be like okay bunny used to shove cocaine up her ass noted another fucking weird thing she does i listen i spelled how you said that comedy is therapeutic for you on stage my podcast has been nothing but therapy that's amazing i mean everybody knows everything about me so that's amazing no it's how you gotta be though um what was i talking about you were talking about uh chelsea doing ecstasy so we went out and she she goes

I told her we're going to this party and we're walking to this party right and she goes hey yeah she goes follow me it's gonna be fun and she starts to limp just a slight limp

and there's a pool table and there's a friend of mine's house I'm with my brothers cousins friends I know everybody here. Right. And she tells everybody she's got a wooden leg.

Oh, what? I'm like, now, here's the thing. Here's what I love about her. Let me tell you what I love about her, okay? Is that she, these little jokes, she does them all the time. time like she likes big jokes and the little ones right like it's just for fun it's just to keep things kind of fun right shock value too so and a couple times during the night like the limp changed i'm like you changed the limp my bad but but but i love doing all night playing pool pretending to limp with the leg

and my brother was like oh my fucking god on ecstasy that's a talent my brother was like where'd you find the fucking pirate dan yeah fucking dan but but uh i like dan i gotta meet dan but we went back to my friend's house. It was me, her, and my buddy. And my buddy is not a big drug guy. Yeah. And this story right here tells you why I love her. Yeah.

And we're not that close anymore. Like life is what life is. Right, right. Life comes in seasons. Yeah, man. And I believe there are chapters of your book. Absolutely. And sometimes people live in certain chapters.

Yeah. And there shouldn't be any spilt milk over that. No. Sometimes you just drift apart. Yeah. And reconnect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys will reconnect.

Yeah. I'm not. Yeah. And so, but she, my buddy's like, you guys want to take some more ecstasy? And she was like, you want to take it now? I can help take it now. And my buddy, this dude, Gavin, and he goes, all right. He goes, but you know I freak out

if I take ecstasy by myself. So you promise me you guys will stick with me, because it's two in the morning. Oh, fuck, you guys were fucking pulling a fucking all-nighter. And we go, yeah, okay, okay. He takes it, he swallows it, and Chelsea looks at me, he goes, ready to go what she was like i'm not staying with this fucking guy she goes i just wanted to see him trip out and she he was like what no you can't leave and she's like oh i'm not staying here

i'm not staying here with you are you kidding oh my god that is so funny so gavin goes you're not leaving me are you i'm like yeah it's actually pretty funny we're both gonna leave you this dude this is what i still had a pager this dude must have left a hundred messages no oh my god just tripping out on ecstasy all by himself yeah he was like is that you in the alley right now are you in the alley looking up on my window oh he was seeing shadow people that motherfucker was like tripping but she will if you leave her an opening oh yeah i don't know if she's still like this yeah we've all mellowed out a little bit but if you like if you were at the office and left your computer unlocked she's going to send a terrible email to somebody. Oh, shit. From your account.

Oh, no. Something fucking awful. Oh, no. I think one person on our staff, I think, left it open. And I could be wrong. But I think she sent a terrible email to HR. Oh, no. But just like that's her.

Right. It is what it is. She's the boss. She's the boss if she can do what she wants that's right so you have um uh an album coming out oh my god let's talk about it this is my favorite thing i've ever done what is it so since i've come here i've really started jumping in the music yeah and so i could see your passion for it like i said whenever i was at the show and i really like to create all the time and so when i first got here the first thing i shot was i found my very first cd and i was like i'm gonna rewrite every joke on the cd because i wonder if i'm a better writer now than i was then right so i took it i rewrote every joke and i did it live one take streamed it and there were some jokes where i told the old joke first so you then you could see how we i rewrote it to the new joke right so it was very experimental and

it was a lot of talking straight to camera and i was like this is fun yeah let me try something something else i've never done before i've never done like a music special. So, and I brought a bunch of people on stage. You know, I had Chris Kirkpatrick from NSYNC came up and did a song with me. I think Jay got to meet him too.

He got to meet him. Taylor Lynn, who's Loretta Lynn's granddaughter, came up and her voice is like ridiculous. Yeah. But then I did a little stand up up front. I had some old dude sucked another dude's titty in the front row didn't even see that coming then that wasn't part of the show but we got it on

camera holy shit that was in the first like seven minutes of the show i'm like it's gonna be a great night yeah no you know it's gonna be great now when titties are getting sucked this was the most fun now i hate watching myself right fucking hate it hate it. Yeah, I think everybody does. I have had to watch this to see what I want to. Critique it. Man, I watched it the first time I watched it through, and I turned it off, and Beth was like, I just want you to know, I've seen you do that a million times. You smiled the whole way. Oh.

And I was like, yeah, that was so much fun to watch. I can't fucking believe it. And so that's what this is. This is not a, I'm not Bill Burr. Right. I'm not a dude who's out there in my comedy right now, in the past I have. But right now I'm not out there tackling social issues and shit like that. You're enjoying your life.

Because. Eating shrooms. Yeah, I think people just need fun. That's what I'm saying. You know, spiritual journey, baby. We just need some fun, life. Because. Eating shrooms. Yeah, I think people just need fun. That's what I'm saying. You know, spiritual journey, baby. We just need some fun, man. Yeah. And so this is just an hour and 20 minutes of fun.

But here's what I would tell you, man. Much like Jelly, like I decided a long time ago, I'm not doing, I'm not selling my stuff. Right. I'm not selling it. And so that YouTube one that I put on, that special years ago i was like yeah i don't need those people i got more views on here so i i paid for it and produced this and doing all this myself and i don't know when this comes out um this will be out in probably about two weeks two weeks all right so then it came out on the 19th right but. But this special, like, I do music in a lane that nobody's doing right now.

Right. Is it original songs or is it like parody? Some original songs, some parodies, but it's also got 40 minutes of stand-up. That's awesome. So like nobody's ever really done that. No. That's awesome. And it's an hour and a half because i it's like a

comedy special but like an album form it's yeah or like a what are they like a variety show yeah variety hour that's kind of and you saw the show yeah that's kind of how i like it my show is never the same i did five shows this weekend they're all different yeah and it's a living breathing thing yeah and so that's why i like that's how I like it to be a little loose, a little crazy, but you kind of know what's going to happen when you get there. It's going to be a good fucking time. Just a good time. And so this was a, it's the most thing, thing I'm most proud of without a doubt.

What's the name of it? Here for the fun. I love it. Yeah. You can just see that in your place in life right now, that's really what you are all about. You want to laugh. You want to smile, you want to have fun. And I think right now, with the way the world is,

everybody needs that. Man, that's what this was supposed to be. So when people come, by the way, it just got nips out cold. That's the spirits in here. Yeah, but I think so, man. I think people need that right now. They do. Everyone takes everything so seriously.

I'm so fucking tired of people online. Like you cannot fucking go a day without all the negativity that breeds online. When I did my microdose yesterday, I didn't want to touch my phone. I did not want to be on my phone. I had to force myself to post a picture. Do you know that since I've gotten here, I walk my dog.

I don't turn my phone on. Actually, with the special I have in the last week or so. But in general, I don't turn my phone on before noon. Wow. I probably need to start doing that. I'm just like, what's really happening? Yeah. Do I really?

Do I give a shit? Yeah. Do I really need to put that another fucking stupid picture but so i yeah i mean it's been amazing and the shrimps have helped i bet i bet so here for the fun drops on the 19th by the time you guys see this it will already be out so where where can people download it all on my youtube channel everything is for free so just go check it out and then yeah man because for me the views turn into what i want them to turn into which is people who come to my shows you guys got to go watch here for the fun jay and i are definitely going to contribute to it too i appreciate it josh i it was been really fun talking to you man i fucking really

appreciate having you here i can't wait to have you back. You got to come back. Keep coming back and just be a regular on the show from now on. I'm Randy. Let me know. And maybe we'll microdose and do one. Dude, that would be awesome. Let me get a little more far ahead in my journey.

Because all we need is me seeing purple elephants tripping out, having to go to the hospital. Oh, great. By the way, good. That's good content. Oh, fuck. That would actually be really good content you have a show tell people where they can see your show where you eat shrooms and fucking talk i do a show called the high live uh you can find that on all my

socials um but also if you're here in nashville yeah on october 31st i'm doing another one of my extra bonanza extravaganzas down at Zany's, but we're going to, it's good. There's going to be a costume contest. There's going to be a lot of weird shit happening that night. Oh, it's going to, it'll be a fun. I know if it has to do with you, it's going to be a blast. It's going to be a good time. Tell people where they can find you on your socials. At Josh Wolf comedy everywhere. And on YouTube is Joshua comedy,

comedian, joshwolf.com for tour dates and you know. All that jazz. Yeah, we're just gonna keep having some fun. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. This dude, coming out from the curtains

is like my fucking, have you seen this? He's been poking his head out so it's looking like he's wearing a robe. He looks like fucking Liberace. So crazy. With his gold chain

around his neck. He pipped his head out like. Yeah, I love him. his body is the best dude he's robust and he's got the biggest butthole ever does he oh it's it's like a fucking crater open butthole look at it well he's sitting down he's got it robed up yeah call him uhanie, call him. Here, Josh. Look at the butthole. Take a gander at that hole. Wow, is it always open like that?

Oh, and it puckers. When he gets excited, it protrudes. You know what? It looks like something you'd find in the ocean. Yeah, but really dry. Yeah. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next week.

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