Dumb Blonde - Throwback Thursday: MGK - Road to Forgiveness

Episode Date: December 12, 2024

Strap in for Season 8, babies! Bunnie sits down with Machine Gun Kelly for a vulnerable, no-holds-barred conversation. MGK opens up about his tumultuous past, from childhood trauma to his complicated relationship with his mom, and shares his journey to forgiveness. He goes deep into his evolution from battle rap to rock stardom, discussing why it's okay to blaze your own path as an artist. MGK gets candid about finding love with Megan Fox, his sobriety journey, and touching fatherhood moments with daughter Casie. He talks about his new collab with Jelly Roll, "Lonely Road", and gets us all misty talking about their beautiful friendship.MGK: WebsiteWatch Full Episodes & More:www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the BunnyXO show. We have Meet the D-Fords. We have Popaganda. We have more shows that we're adding.

And not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Not only that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget and everybody gets the podcast. There only that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget and everybody gets the podcast. There's no more excuses. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up. Stop missing out. We have built a huge community over there, guys. I'm talking about hundreds of thousands of people over there. We even have live chats, live chats that I actually am talking in every single night. Last but not least, we give away gifts every freaking month. I'm talking like signed stuff from Jay and I, lives. You just never know what kind of surprise you're going to get.

It's like a Cracker Jack box. I love the community that we've built over there at Patreon. If you are already a Patreon member, I freaking love you, dude. Thank you so much. You guys are my babies for life, my writers. If I could, I would literally make out with each and every one of you. I love you guys so much. And that's a lot of kisses, actually. Gotta go, bye.

Bunny XO. She was a Vegas girl. Bunny XO. She changed my life. Dumb blonde podcast. And Bunny XO. Kelly Rose White. Bunny XO.

I would miss Bunny. Bunny XO. Talk to me about Bunny I would miss bunny. Bunny has glow. Talk to me about bunny. I have glow. I'm Barney. I'll get to the coolest kids. Is this thing on? Hi, babies.

Welcome back to season eight. Today, I have a triple threat i mean i don't even know i think he might be a quadruple threat but this man needs no introduction mr mgk in the house you've had a day i've had yeah it's been a gnarly 96 hours for sure i feel like you don't ever stop though no this was my first four-day music video shoot which you were in yeah cool and thank you for having us let's talk about it what what was what was the video shoot about um well it was uh visually inspired by beyond the pines i think story-wise as well um the first 20 minutes anyway yeah if you guys are gonna watch if you're gonna

watch beyond the pine don't watch any more than 30 after ryan gosling has his moment don't watch it it is it's quite uh thrill kill yeah it's like a thrill and then it happens and you're like wait a minute like he he's on every poster this movie has to be about him yeah that was kind of a trip but um aesthetically that i love riding motorcycles i think telling the story of uh lower middle class struggling family and relationship is really what i grew up seeing. So it was something that felt right to do on a song that everyone keeps telling me is a hit. So I think the glamorous approach was obvious and I kind of went the other way and kept it G,

like how me and Jelly's background is is you guys went back to your roots i think absolutely i think like you know we repped for you know when you get it when you are exploring yourself in front of all these cameras and in the industry. Sorry guys. Maybe I should've. These are some beautiful cats by the way. Thank you. Yeah, these are some awesome cats that just walked in. They're like, dad's home.

But when you're exploring yourself in front of the cameras and you know you're seeing success and you know you obviously idolize people and lifestyles and things, you kind of, you know, You're doing your own outfit changes metaphorically towards what you think would look cool with this era, what would look cool with that era. And this era for me, after all the glitz and glam of the last run that I've had, is just back to my roots, man.

I went all the way to the top and I am just like all right I've seen it I'm so excited I'm out I'm so excited to deep dive all of this with you um so circling back to the video though so the song is for Lonely Roads which my husband is going to be featuring on and that's out right now yes because when by the time this drops it's going to be out so you guys need to go listen to it yeah and when do you think the music video is going to drop is it going to drop before i think the music video will be out by the time this is out yeah so you guys got to go watch it yeah because it's going to be awesome i i feel really it's my i don't really know what to do with my hands is it cool if i run a cigarette yeah of

course i always sit back you know this is your house so i'm telling you what to do with my hands. Is it cool if I roll a cigarette? Yeah, of course. I always sit back. You know, this is your house. So I'm telling you what to do on your couch. So you have talked a lot about your childhood. And I just kind of want to go back in time a little bit with you on that. Can we speak on your childhood a little bit? Yeah. If I've spoken on my childhood, you know, if you're reflecting on past interviews, I don't really know how far they go back, but some of them was a very insecure, excuse me, insecure with speaking on just almost any interview I had done in which I covered myself with a egoic exoskeleton but as far as my childhood some of that I've spoke on in a way that

I was still just very confused and very angry and so I do not stand by everything that I said about the people in my life in my childhood because they deserve forgiveness and something different than the way that I may have uh just you know so anyway that actually kind of made me want to tear up because anybody that's ever let me get a hold of myself here anybody that's ever dealt with childhood trauma has gone through a time in their life where they were just so angry that they've said so many things about the people that were in their life that until you get to a breakthrough and you come I don't want to say come out of the darkness because I feel like we're always sort of

going to have one foot in um but when you get to a point where you can look at them with love forgiveness is huge and they're just big kids like as a parent i don't know what the fuck i'm doing every single day of my life as a parent you're just figuring it out constantly but hopefully doing it with love absolutely and. And sometimes, like in my situation with my father, he was so tormented from some of the most insane shit that I could imagine a kid could go through that he had to figure it out but with almost every possible bad circumstance going against him too so it's it's it's almost like the expectations are too high because we think uh

are too high because we think uh that they're just that that they know everything because we grew up looking up at them yeah we're all just lost and trying to figure it out i feel like you've been fighting since you came out of the womb um i'm just looking down at my notes here but it says you know you you were born with your umbilical cord wrapped around your neck correct yeah so i mean you were already fighting the minute that you came out yeah um when you were born um you had your mom and your dad i don't ever really hear you talk about your mom a lot and a lot of the stuff that i got from your childhood i didn't take from interviews i kind of you if you listen to your music you tell a Right. You speak a lot about your life in music. And I think that anybody that is, you know, a fan of yours or a listener of yours would know them.

Yeah. I saved a lot of my interview moments for my lyrics. So I think a lot of my childhood is represented in my songs. I think a lot of my childhood is represented in my songs. My mom and I actually have reconnected in a really intense way in the past three or four years. You know, that side of my family is, they're all from Norway, they're extremely Norwegian, so very stoic, you know know so the emotional side of things I

get from my father who was very you know he wore everything on his sleeve right so like his depression was very obvious his need for love was very you know like uh i was i i wish i wish i could have told him um before he died that i was really inspired by how emotional he was and like how i thought that was really cool in hindsight because i am very emotional as well, probably because everything on my chart is so Pisces. But, yeah, I was saying that on July 5th, it's the same day Hotel Diablo came out, but that's also the day he died, and it trips me out because on the album,

I said, doctors said my dad won't be here a year from now, and then a year to the date he died. And then on that date this year i was outside and i was um doing a ritual for him just to try and see if i could channel any uh if i could hear him at all but i did tell him what i what i just said sorry if i'm very long-winded i'm pretty awkward as a human and so i i don't really know if what i what i just said sorry if i'm very long-winded i'm pretty awkward as a human and so i i don't really know if what i'm saying if anyone gives a fuck so maybe i'll just move on what was it what's the next question you don't have to apologize though it's actually beautiful

what you say and it's so real and i think people need to hear what you have to say because there's a lot of people who are working through including myself where I just lost my dad last month and I I know exactly what you're going through with you know a father who was absent you know in certain things and like you know just we're all dealing with childhood trauma but um your dad actually it says that um your dad was tried at nine years old for his own father's death. Yeah. Can we talk about that? I think so.

That's interesting that you. Yeah. Yeah, sure. yeah sure that has to contribute to how he was as a father to you because it seems like it was almost um generational like passed down yeah every medium that i've spoke to or seer that i spoke to says there's a generational curse on all the men in my family that they will die alone and they've all died alone i'm the seventh generation which means that i should be able to break the curse and i was born on the 22nd which is a master number and the numerology behind mine is a curse breaker so i do hope in this lifetime that i master my best self and what i'm supposed to do it's a very

difficult road that i'm on right now with that. And my father's childhood journey definitely bled into mine because we shared the same bed for years. And that was, you know, the body, especially if you're intuitive or born intuitive, your body receives the energy from all around you. So, you know, those years that my dad slept depressed, I took remember finding that I always used to get so mad at him when I was a kid because if I scared him or he heard a loud boom or a loud noise, he would freak out, like gnarly freak out.

And I would be like, you're supposed to be like, you're supposed to be a man, dude. Like, why are you acting like this? And I would, we would we would you know it just made me hate him and then you sit there and you think about a kid who was on trial at nine years old for the murder of his father and knowing that the police came and found the shotgun underneath the bed and the story that was told to me was always that, you know, their dad dropped the gun and his head essentially blew off.

And so that all happened in the room with my dad at nine years old. And so him and my grandmother were tried for the murder. They were both acquitted. I had a very interesting talk with him on his deathbed about that moment, which I think I'll leave that between me and my father. You know, that led to a lot of, he had split personality

and schizophrenia runs really heavy in that side of the family. So a lot of things, man, that I've taken on and I think I've projected myself to be somebody who has the stamina to endure all of these things that come with fame and criticism and hate because I fought back with all those traumas by becoming what I always wanted my dad to be which was like tough and you you know, shake everything off and just fight anyone who, you know, comes at you. I, I, I never understood why he was so closed, but dude, I'm tired and I'm a really shy, fucked up kid internally and really broken. And I'm just now fixing myself and I don't have the energy

to be the image that I was because I'm also kind of sick of being on an island alone where no one is, outside of my fans, you know, my fans who really can read the music and read into the music sorry but as far as like public persona i'm really really sick of being what they think i am so i don't really know how i got onto that from my dad's story but i don't know how you found that either that's a very like it was a very uh That's a very, like, that's a very, quite the piece of information to stumble upon.

I just did a little bit of research. And I just, you know, I try to figure out what makes people tick and who they are. And, you know, when I first met you, I even told Jay, I was like, this is a sweet boy that just has a wallop. Something hurt him. And I just wanted to kind of, you know, and I'm sorry if I interfered or anything like that with your process that's going on. But I just kind of wanted to figure out, like, you know, where is this hurt coming from? And, you know, I just, I like to just go deep and figure out, you know. Yeah, well, it's the truth.

And I don't run from the truth. You know, my father was on trial for a murder at nine years old like i that i watched every day and you know my mom who's who's such a sweet woman who i was was molded to be so mad at molded by your dad yes okay when did she leave at nine okay so both my dad and i had interesting nine or nine or ten years i think it was nine or ten and it wasn't and it wasn't leave also i like i i i mean she left but also my father was hard to deal with dude was gnarly you know like yeah super gnarly when was your dad's birthday what sign was he december 30th capricorn and uh so i you know he would like with the only word i didn't hear the word mom during my whole teenage years all i heard was whore

and my mom is like the sweetest woman ever and she's a scientist and she's so smart and she's and and you know she's beautiful and she, you know, I, I really, I really missed her and I really regret missing all those years because of who I was, you know, those years are really important. You know, people, people shape you no matter how much you try to be your own absolutely um so she helped me you know to realize that that all those things that happened especially just like that like you can isolate just that i mean there's a lot of shit with my family you know like my dad lost his his brother my dad has a twin they were triplets the triplet died at birth uh and if you just isolate the you know that trial my dad after that like i said every every loud noise he would react like because he you know

but he became have you ever seen american psycho i haven't seen it. Well, Christian Bale's character. Oh, yes. I'm so sorry. Everything that he does is black or white. Right? There's no gray area. Every piece of clothing is folded perfectly. It's ironed. I feel like he had a little bit of autism.

He would shave every morning. His isms were so definitive. And that's how my father was. Every piece of clothing was like this. He was obsessed with suspenders. And so it was the same thing. There were so many things that I did wrong that my dad would always put in check,

but I remember every time i held my pen like this boom that's lazy you hold your pencil you hold your pen like this and it's just everything was that like i remember what the first time i got arrested when we got out he sat us down and it was the bible you know like it's just yeah like everything was very there was no oh yeah you can do it your way like what's what's your things that you want to do right it sounded like he might have had a little bit like severe ocd also there's a song that you say my heart was broke like my ribs as a kid when me and my father fought. Is that a true story? Oh, yeah.

Like, did your dad break your ribs? Yeah, well, and vice versa. It was more so his ribs than my ribs. Both of us got fucked up. I remember that specific fight was in our kitchen in Cleveland. both both of us got up i remember that that specific fight was it was in our kitchen in cleveland and uh we were uber twinning because both of us has just big ass black and purple right here so you guys were just in your living room just kitchen going kitchen going at it yeah that was pretty common though and i was a really I acted out a lot like once I got to the

point where I could fight back I was just on it you know but but yeah and I was angry and I also my dream was so it was so potent like nothing could stop my dream I was going to be a rapper I was going to be a performer like there was no there was no manifested curfew for me and any punishment I had to take I would take it um yeah I mean I I would me I'll never forget when me slim and dove we came to my house one day and uh all of the furniture was gone and my dad was just sitting on the floor and he was like going to africa and my dad just did and i saw and i didn't see him till i was till i was 26 and i had already you know kind of achieved the dream and uh i just remember how old were you uh i think I was, he had met my daughter once before he left.

So I was probably 19 because she was, you know, I was having the baby when I was 18. And I was like, Dad, I'm having a kid. And that was another thing where he was like, there's no fucking way. There's absolutely no way you're having a kid. And he was, you know, disappointed because I was working at fast food. And he was like, you know, why the fuck didn't you become a collegiate scholar? Your mom. So just circling back to that real quick, just to clarify.

So when she left. Just to clarify, my cat is shitting over there. Nice. If you guys. Catch the downwind. Catch any downwind. That is. Little air biscuits.

We're good. And that's my, that's my trouble child i think you got it yeah that one's tickets oh so circling back to mom just to clarify when she left home you chose not to be a part of her life or did she just go no contact with you uh well you know another thing that kind of came with her and i reconnecting was just realizing that my dad was keeping me from her for years to hurt her yeah yeah and uh yeah i mean i you know i had had all those frustrations like why the fuck would you never call why would you never show up i was in all these things came out like i was literally in your front yard and got the cops called on me i you know every time i called he would answer the phone and you know go off and so i that was that was a manipulative uh parent move where again it's it's really funny i was at a blink 182 show

the other night and uh they're about to do stay together for the kids which is like it's one of my it's probably my favorite blink song and it's a song about broken home and he was like if anybody comes from a broken home you know raise raise your cell phone lights. So all these cell phone lights go up. He's like, I just want you to know that it's all your fault. It's really funny because I was a prime example of that where it was like, I was kind of the tool of

manipulation between the whole thing. But it's never your fault. I understand, but I have to laugh at it at this point. And honestly, it really, I kind of was. thing where but it's never your fault i understand but i have to laugh at it at this point and and honestly it really it i kind of was it kind of there there there's a quote i heard today that i actually absolutely fell in love with and it said um sometimes you're older than your elders on an energy level your parents might be younger than you spiritually. Well, that is me and my daughter because my daughter is a wise oak tree.

I have that in my notes and we're going to talk about her too. We can move on to that. Let's talk about Casey. Well, I would like to say, for the record, I love my mom dearly and I misrepresented her a lot early in my career and not misrepresented in the sense of

not speaking truth. i was speaking my truth but i didn't give the masses a chance to understand her truth and i didn't i wasn't in contact with her to understand her truth and there was plenty of things that i was mad at her about because it was like your fight has to be stronger like you gotta you gotta get to me yeah you if you you know you gotta liam neeson this shit yeah no i get come fucking find me no matter what it takes and you know because i was stuck in that situation you know my the house I was even living in with my aunt and her husband who was a giant piece of shit I I shouldn't have been I shouldn't have been in that place but can we touch on your aunt too she was somebody who was very dear to you that was my dog for life which was it mother's or

father's side that was my dad's older sister and tell me take me on that journey with you guys's relationship she was like the biggest supporter of any dream i had i i wanted to be a jedi so bad and you know she bought me this hockey stick so that i could take the end of the the little hitting part off so i could have like a staff like a lightsaber and i would just always be in the yard and just be like you know i'd attach a carabiner to a rope to a tree and i would put a bandana over my eyes like when they train and the lasers come with them and they can just feel yeah so i would always like hit the carabiner in the front yard and she would any dream i had she would be like

hell yeah you're gonna be a jedi like what what can i do to support it and when i wanted to be a battle rapper you know i would always make her watch um videos with me on bt and mtv and she was like well we gotta you know we gotta get you looking like that so she took me and she got me my first like you know hip-hop outfit which in hindsight i looked so fucking stupid what was it now you gotta tell me what it was some like anichi denim shorts that were just like down to like my shins with like with these stitches in them so it was different colored denim on it matching denim whatever but it's crazy because when i wore that to school everyone all of a sudden it was like right when at the end of the year when all the yearbooks you sign everyone's yearbook and the first my on my sixth grade yearbook it's so cool because no one

signed it because i had no friends except for my one my one boy who's locked up who's still my friend but uh seventh grade man when i pulled up in that denim thing everyone wanted to sign my yearbook and i was battle rapping too so everyone was like hell yeah you know like they were they were fucking with my heart they could see i was they could see i was vicious and i had good rhymes as a child that's all you need is one person in your corner just telling you you can be whatever the fuck you want to be totally and then i mean she carried that mentality so heavy into my career because she worked at target and um dude i we would there was a strip club across street called shotgun willies and it was in the parking lot of this target and um one of my proudest moments

was pulling the tour bus up to target oh to pick her up but she had a she had these glasses on and i was like oh barbara like you know take your glasses off like i want you know connect with me or whatever and she wouldn't take them off and i was like i was like what's wrong and you know she finally took her glass off she had a black eye oh no my uncle had her up and you know one of my biggest regrets is that i didn't just go kill that right there you know and like that was obviously in the plans but everybody was like dude you have so much going for you you know like don't don't make this decision but that was my heart you know like i i couldn't take that anyone did that to her you know so especially him but um anyway cut to a couple years later you know we're at the we're at this uh at shotgun

willies and all the dancers are coming up to me and they're like yo like we love your aunt you know is is does she work at target and i was like yeah she was like yeah they were like yeah anytime we go over there to buy anything she always has like mgk cds next to her register and if you look young or you buy anything that resembles like you might listen to me she'd be like have you guys heard of mgk that's my nephew you should buy the cd or like if i was on the cover of a magazine like inked magazine or something like that she'd be like you know if someone's buying like a i don't know a cool t-shirt or another cd or something she'd be like dude you should you's buying like a i don't know a cool t-shirt or another cd or something she'd be like dude you should you should buy my nephew's uh magazine cover and so she was obsessed

with with me and i was like a really really inspiring person in my life and you know watching her go through cancer and then beating that and she was always really resilient. But she and my father, they both died from liver cirrhosis. They drank themselves to death. That was a hard one to bite, especially because the last phone call that I had, I cut her off. Like, I was in a really bad mood I was in Germany about to do the festival called Splash Festival and you know she would

always call me and it was one of those conversations where I was like she honestly she was probably just giving me love and I'm really uncomfortable with love right and if I if I'm if I'm at that point in my life if I was getting any of it I got I got really like oh just you know and I just hung up the phone and that was the last time I spoke to her and he called me and told me she had passed right before I went on stage she knows you love her though she can hear you talking about her at any time yeah that that's one where man I always just wish you would come to me in my dreams or something like I never got closure with that and she I I did ask that the spirits don't take her to the next life yet like I I I really want her to be a spirit guide for me in this

lifetime like I want her to stay watching over me and I feel like it's I feel like it's happened you know like I've had a really big turnaround in the past couple years spiritually and uh even just with career you know yeah absolutely i bet you and i guarantee that's her hand in that for sure yeah is it do i do i am i like look is it what am i supposed to do with my eyes you're doing great don't don't overthink it you're crushing it um so you started battle rapping in when? Seventh grade. Seventh grade? Maybe sixth grade, seventh grade, though.

Was that your outlet? Because you were such an introverted child and just had such a crazy home life, an abusive home life. Was that your outlet to just go and be? Because whenever I envision battle rappers, I envision the aggression and just snipering people verbally.

Yeah. I desperately needed something to fit in. You know, I was an okay skater. I was an okay fighter. Fighting was really big growing up, you know, like all these kind these different outlets of alpha actions were the highlight of what seemed like people were accepting. A lot of my friends weren't in gangs, so I wanted to you know be a gang

member a lot of but what i was obsessed with was music you know like i loved uh i i just i loved music that was who was always talking to me was my headphones and so i uh who were your influences back then dmx was huge for me tupac was huge for me. Yeah. The Kanye and 50 albums and Lincoln Park and Limp Bizkit. And that era of albums was so, all the angst I needed. It was saying all the stories of a runaway, fuck up, broken home youth. And yeah, my first battle rap, I'll never forget. I don't remember any of the lines that i said but i do remember i looked up it was a dude that was taller than me and the last time i was like bitch

get your tall ass down and kiss my feet and it rhymed with whatever i'd said before and everyone was just like and lost their mind yeah and it was so opposite of how i was at home because at home I was essentially bullied to just be like a piece of furniture in the corner you know what I mean like I didn't really have a voice at all so I had to find a way to have a voice and battle rap gave me my your alter ego for sure yeah for sure and I probably got lost in that because I just started to just that was the person who was accepted so I just became that person I 100% resonate with that because I was abused by my stepmother growing up and so she was the bully at home and I became the bully outside of the house it's because you just feel like you have to put on this

this facade so that nobody can hurt you because you already get hurt so much inside your house that when you leave the house nobody's gonna fucking hurt you because you control that totally so battle rapping became your love and then you know later on down the line you ended up having a baby when you were about 18 correct yep can we talk about casey yeah yeah i'd love to let's talk about her you light up having a baby when you were about 18, correct? Yep. Can we talk about Casey? Yeah, yeah, I'd love to. Let's talk about her. You light up whenever you talk about her.

Yeah. And I love that. And I noticed in a lot of her interviews, you know, she does seem like such an old soul. I'm telling you. Even hearing you on the phone with her last night, it was like you were reporting to your mom. Like even your demeanor and everything like kind of changed yeah my well my my life changed like that was i'll never forget the first breath she took she came out she wasn't breathing

and then the doctor i think like tapped her chest or something like that. And she, she did the like, and I just remember everything was jokes and me trying to make her mother feel. I was trying to make her mother laugh while she was having, which was just going so poorly. Like it was so bad. It was, I didn't know what to do. I should have been calming, but I was just trying to make jokes.

She was like, shut the fuck up. She's like, I'm shitting a kid out here yeah and uh man when she took that first breath dude every tears like niagara fall started coming and i fell in love and that was really the first person i ever you know loved like they actually gave you that feeling of love besides your aunt you You said that you were number 22, which I'm,

I was born on the 22nd myself. Were you really? January 22nd. Wow. And we are, we are rule breakers and generational curse breakers. Right. And I feel like it stops with you with the lineage that your family has with

the men. Yeah. And I see what a father you are to Casey. And, you know, can you appreciate that you've actually broken that curse with your family? I don't know. I got to finish this life first and do a review of my soul. Kind of see if I made the right decisions or not.

And I feel like one of my favorite quotes, which my friend, my son gave me was, I thank God that I have the ability to punish myself today so that I can forgive myself tomorrow. So, you know, for the mistakes that I've made,

I'm grateful that I also have the choice to forgive myself. Absolutely. You know, after, because I think a lot of us live with like, oh man, I messed up. Like I'm just stuck being that mistake. And it's really hard with the internet too, just constantly wants to make you be that mistake also and I just want everyone to feel comfortable to know that You know God or the universe or or energy period has given you the ability to forgive yourself

like that's a choice that you have to make and Just like you have the choice to get in your car and drive somewhere or get out of bed and do something like you have you have that ability to forgive yourself which is really important otherwise those things are just gonna you grow inside of you and eat you alive and that's i think a lot of i honestly i i truly believe that you know things like cancer or disease in some cases come from trauma and secrets that you've withheld that you can't forgive yourself for secrets keep you sick yes so it's really important to get it out yes and accept and forgive do you think you'll ever be able to give yourself your flowers while you are alive, though, for being the father that you are?

Like, you may not feel like you're perfect, and I don't think anybody's a perfect parent, but coming from what you grew up in to who you are now and the father that you are to Casey, can you ever just look at yourself and be like, yeah, I did do that? would you can you ever just look at yourself and be like yeah I did do that yeah but I I could always you know I could be a better father so I just I don't know I mean I hope I hope that I'll always be someone that she can depend on and lean on and love. I guess I'm just so scared because I know how my relationship with my parents was. And, you know,

I was so mad at my dad up until the last moments of his life. So I just, I almost, uh, I don't know. And I'm, I'm like, I'm so in love with her that I'm scared. You know, you don't ever want to like disappoint. And so I, yeah, I mean, it's not for me to give myself any flowers. I guess I, I, uh, that's for her to decide if, you know, if, if I did a good job or not. I understand that. Yeah. So take me on this journey where, you know, you're battle rapping, you just had a baby, and I think you were at South by Southwest in Austin.

I mean, the story that was kind of built was that, but essentially we did, I think, a South by Southwest prior to that, maybe even another one before that. I think everyone had kind of discovered me at the same time, label-wise, because there was a big bidding war. And, yeah, I mean, essentially, we had to, you know, choose a label to go with and but it wasn't south by southwest it was really the mixtape circuit like we were the the one thing that i always loved that we did was we would

catch everyone coming out of school and we would hand them our mixtape and so all the seniors who would graduate you know go off to college and all these different parts of the country and they take a piece of home with them with our with our mixtape and they're like yeah but back home we got this kid like you gotta check him out and so like the word really started to spread and that was when mixtape era was you know it was really important and blog era was really important and me and mac and whiz and you know it was really important and blog era was really important and me and mac and wiz and uh big sean's and kendrick's and asaps all these you know all these mixtape kids were just kind of just ground zero handing out cds so i i still meet people who are like yo i remember you gave me this and whatever year and you know slim was a huge part of that i mean i remember i

saved up so much just to buy my own like cd burner and we would print all the cds put the labels on we shared a one-bedroom apartment together and uh we would just go out and hand them out and there was this one really funny memory where we went and gathered up all these coins. Like we saved like, I don't know, 300, $400 worth of coins.

Oh, I remember that. The, the vending machine. And then it tells you like, or you do like the big water bottle. Yeah. Yeah.

And then we bought a Juno keyboard with that. Kids now will never know. They'll never know. They'll never know. It's all right. But you got a keyboard. Yeah. It's crazy.

Yeah. So we got a Juno and we made all our beats with that. And, uh, yeah, I don't know. I also was just like, dude,

I would just rap for every single person that would listen. That was kind of, I worked at an airbrush shop and I was kind of what I was like, uh, Cleveland famous for was just like, Oh, that's the white boy from the airbrush shop who always raps for everybody. Or I would go in front of the mall.

Cause the mall was that is, is the big skyscraper in downtown Cleveland. raps for everybody. Or I would go in front of the mall because the mall is the big skyscraper in downtown Cleveland. It's called Tower City. I would go in front of there. That's like the meeting point between east side and west side where the trains come. And I would just rap for everybody out front or battle rap whoever. The, you know, the Illuminati talks and all that stuff that that come towards me from people i just it's it i explain it best in the end of that el pistolero song when i say i don't worship the devil that's just what they say when you get on this level literally just like they accuse jay

and i have been i'm like look homie like this is what hard work is hard work means that's you know something comes from it and if you look at my journey I've been pushing and pushing and pushing and you know by all means I would have loved a so I would have loved a button pusher to be like we're gonna make him huge yeah you know what I mean like they would have saved me a lot of stress and a lot of friends lost and a lot of, you know, a lot of years. You know, it's odd to be on at 19 and not experience your biggest success until you're 30.

And that was one thing that Jelly, I love that speech when he was like don't ever when he won best new artist yeah and it took me 38 years to get here yeah for sure and don't ever let age be uh a factor in two chains didn't hit it off till he was like 40 right dude he was like 36 or something like that when it happened. And I hate the expression, grow up. Like I posted, you know, the fangs or something like that the other day. And you see one comment out of the 5,000 that you just zoom in on and it's like Something really grow up or You know, you're too old to be doing this or whatever it is, which is so ironic because we're all still so young

but to me that's just a Sign of you being scared to ever unleash your creativity I couldn't imagine if Tim Burton had to come up with nightmare before Christmas before he hit 20 years old. Yeah, absolutely. Because we wouldn't have these things. Like there is no age on art. There is no age on fun.

I love, I was just reading this book earlier. Let me see if yeah. Join with all those who experiment, take risks, fall risks fall get hurt and then take more risks stay away from those who affirm truths who criticize those who do not think like them people who have never once taken a step unless they were sure they were that they would be respected for doing so and who prefer certainties to doubts

i love that i don't ever want to step and know that the ground is going to hold me. The best part of life are these risks that I take. And the worst thing I could ever imagine being is someone who is caged in because others live in a cage. One of my favorite quotes is from Oscar Wilde. And it's, you will always be fond of me for I represent to you the sins you never had the courage to commit. I'm telling you. What is growing up? Literally. It's so odd you gotta always just be in tune with your inner child and i think a thousand percent the the second that

your light is fueled by gasoline instead of natural wood means that it's forced like this is all things that burn inside of me naturally, why would you want a synthetic result instead of something that is organic? I think it's the world is so programmed and people just take everything so literal now and it's just like there's a time limit on everything and really people don't realize that time is like the most precious commodity

and something that you'll never get back and it's like why don't you want to do what you love with that time instead of what the world's telling you to do also why if someone had their childhood robbed would you not want to allow them that back that's like expecting i gave me goosebumps if helen keller got her hearing and her eyesight back at 36 being like whoa whoa why are you on a why are you on a why are you on a seesaw right that's for kids like i well i never got to experience this like i want to experience all the joys of life so to me let me experience all these joys i didn't have 20 in my 20s i was on drugs i don't remember any of the you know attaining these the shows that

you know finally sold i don't remember those things so let me enjoy i didn't get to i was so so tight and and determined to you know overcompensate for the traumas that i had to show that I was good enough that I didn't get the chance to creatively express myself maybe with things like that make me happy I was trying to you know satisfy others mask also mask all the pain that you went through when did your drug abuse start or drug experimentation probably i mean 11 was the first time that i did ecstasy with with my one friend who lived on the same street because his older sister dated a rave dj oh my

goodness 11 years old yeah but it was it was it was funny they like told us how to do you know they told us how to do it they give us a little um pacifiers because your teeth grind that's not you're 11 yeah yeah but then you know then it's not like it you know it's not like it continued daily. It took breaks, and I was more focused on music than I was being a burnout. But then in my 20s, I went the fuck off, for sure. Made up for lost time. Definitely. What was your drug of choice? Started with weed and alcohol.

Then I really loved snorting Vyvanse because the work ethic that came with that, just being able to lock in on something and being like, oh my God, I just wrote six songs in two hours. Are you diagnosed ADD? Oh, for Vyvanse and stuff like that hell no i don't know because they work so good on you because i know when i take adderall it makes me feel like i am cracked out and i have the opposite effect than getting anything done yeah i also think maybe when i was yeah i don't know who knows yeah um loved loved like hydrocodone oh yeah I love a good Lord Irv

loved Percocet that was my dad loved Percocet too Percocet and red wine like my dad's twin told me that was your dad an addict also? yeah I didn't that was actually how he really connected to my music was he went to rehab when he came back from Africa and he met someone with an MGK tattoo.

And that guy, whoever that was, shout out to you, my boy, because you really opened up a big door for me and my dad's relationship. Because I guess the kid was like, dude, you don't know what your kid means to people. You don't know what your kid like means to people you don't know what it's like this this music does for for us and so my dad really kind of had a different respect for me um after that rehab stint and like like i said you know he the last that what's up boy the the last thing that we did which you know he was too far gone anyway so i wasn't even like i was trying to which you know he was too far gone anyway so i wasn't even like i was trying to be the you know rule enforcer but he was like dude can you just sneak me in some whiskey because he was in hospice and obviously you can't drink or do anything and at this point you know his his feet had already been amputated oh my goodness that was you know

one of the hardest things in my life was putting on his socks over his whatever was left of his feet or whatever. And exactly. And, yeah, I went and got the best bottle of bourbon I could find. one got the best bottle of bourbon I could find and we we drank and then he he peaced out do you feel like that helped kind of put you into more of a pop culture moment quote unquote and you know Hotel Diablo was kind of under the spotlight oh I actually feel like Hotel Diablo is severely underappreciated. Really? For sure. I thought- I think until like,

until later, you know, it got appreciated as, you know, probably my best body of work as a rap album. It got 1.3 billion streams, but you felt like the media kind of wrote you off, right? I'm for the people, you know, I'm a man man of the people so i really only care what the people think the the the whole like yearning for critic like approval left me many years ago that's why i i mean if you think that i for one second thought that me making a pop punk album was gonna satisfy anybody other than what i wanted to

do it has to be you know like i i clearly knew that it was gonna rupture the structured system of like you're supposed to do this and you're you know labeled as this so this is what you are i'm i'm wearing the shirt of a boundary breaker i look up to those who who break the system and make people think that's what art is supposed to do so uh i also struggle with the like did that bring spotlight because i had been facially and musically famous for eight years before that. There wasn't a street that I could walk on from here to Australia to Germany to anywhere where people weren't like, oh, shit, that's Machine Gun Kelly. So I just think the Internet narrative really tries to force something that, you know,

in time, as long as I continue to run my own race, people will look back on and it won't even be a, I think you've proven yourself. Yeah. So, um, 1.3 billion streams is nothing to golf at. I mean,

that's, I think that's the people telling you that they're consuming you. For sure. They're loving you. And I'm the opposite of Wizard of Oz. I'm outside constantly making sure that, you know, my feet are touching ground and that I'm connecting with the people that I'm speaking for. Absolutely. touching ground and then I'm connecting with the people that I'm speaking for.

Absolutely. And I think that's why your fans love you and the people in your life love you because you are such a strong force to be reckoned with. For sure. So diving back into your album with Hotel Diablo, it was bittersweet. You know, we talked about the 1.3 billion streams and stuff like that, but you did also touch on the fact that your father did die the same day that that came out. And you had said in an interview day that that came out and you had said in an interview somewhere that a neighbor had told you some fucked up things that you couldn't get closure on yeah can we dive into that a little bit it was so eerie and so It was so eerie and so really just wrong, in my opinion, because I was not able to speak to my father or my aunt about any of the things that were said about him. But one thing I know that he had asked me to do was to go into his safe, which was in storage in Cleveland.

And so I did that, and that was kind of where I got some psychological closure that he had a severe split personality disorder. split personality disorder and uh you know i had had a just gnarly kind of rehab stints throughout my life that i never really knew about so like when he would be like oh i'm gonna go on a job interview and it would be like a long time he was gone like i was kind of putting the pieces together like oh he was in rehab um the reason the reason i'm asking is because you had said that it sent you into such a spiral that you ended up putting a shotgun in your mouth well that i i guess i wouldn't necessarily talk about that because it's really hard to for things to get taken out of context i also think drugs are really mind-altering and like people should be really careful of what it does to your brain chemistry because maybe that's not even necessarily you doing the actions, you know.

Yeah, absolutely. It's something else taking over your body. You know what I can say is it made me so uncomfortable that I didn't even want to put my dad's ashes and my aunt's ashes in the same room as each other. So, yeah. How do you move on from something like that? How do you like because you're you're literally you're riding one wave where you don't feel you had said that you don't feel like hotel diablo got you know what it deserved but on the other hand you you know the streams don't lie and then you're dealing with the situation with your dad and drug use and mental health like where where does a a shining light come in and like where do where do you how do you navigate through such a dark time like that

of highs and lows my specific situation was really fortunate because of the group of friends that i have and they've been the same group of friends that i've had since i came in so i learned the power of expressing and being vulnerable and like getting speaking things um to them and receiving really grounded advice and comfort and loyalty from people that i know would never turn their backs on me no matter what and i've tested that to the max you know where if they were going to leave then they would have left a long time ago yeah um anyone that gets close to me i push them away to see if they stay for sure that's all a test it's not because i want them to go anywhere

absolutely i'm never i was watching this video my mom sent me of me as a kid where i was like i had a really funny lisp when i was a kid i had to get my pharyngeal cut because my tongue wouldn't go past my teeth so i talked like this and like it was really funny and like I couldn't say my r's very well so I was walking around and I was like my mom was filming me and I was like I'm hunting bales and she was like uh okay well like where are you gonna go and I was like I'm gonna go I'm gonna go over there and I'm gonna hunt i'm gonna hunt bales and i started walking and i'm just like waiting for her to like come with me and i'm just like come with me and like that that really like is a testament well it's like a microcosm of who i really am where i i i really don't want to be alone. Like I don't ever want, I don't ever want to be alone.

You know, like I love my friends so much and I love really hard, but I'm not good at showing it. I show it by being an asshole or, you know, trying to show like, oh, see, I knew you would leave me and like a form of self-sabotage oh dude self-sabotage king right here yeah and uh it also got you know it's funny covid helped me stop cocaine like cocaine was you asked me what my favorite drug what drug of choice was cocaine was the shit to me right it gave me like me and jelly talked about that all the time where i'm so socially awkward but i would do that before i went somewhere and i would leave and

just be like i just fucking killed that shit in there. Like, everyone loves me, dude. Like, I was talking to everybody. You know, just like this false sense of, you know, Superman syndrome or just like, you know, whatever. And so, you know, it's funny because COVID really helped that because obviously everyone thought it was a fucking zombie apocalypse. So none of the dealers would leave their house. exactly so you had no choice but just like yeah all right like you know i gotta find something else um when did megan enter the picture right i was just that was that was right there where i was leading into how powerful the heart is because you can play with every other sense that you have in your body

but if your heart isn't there uh it's like it's like this it's like this example of you know being an archer and you can be so technically skilled and all of these, your precision could be perfect, right? And all that stuff. But if you switch to an uncomfortable place, like a shaky bridge, if you're not shooting from your soul, then all that precision, all the technicalities that you've mastered, like nothing beats a shot from the soul. Right?

Like that anybody, that's why I never care when people give me shit about guitar playing. I don't care how technically good you are. Like every time I play my guitar, I'm playing it from my heart. So whatever I'm playing is how I felt that day. And know the people who are like why do I why am I not you know on on his level of fame or other things like that I all I've done is just

shoot shots from my soul so if there's nothing to deny that as people that will will always resonate and you know my arrows will hit their heart and that woman struck a bullseye and when I felt that sense light up everything else went and I learned what it was to accept living. That was like, it gave purpose to everything I was confused at why I was here for. everything I was confused at why I was here for. And so I was, you know, I'm forever grateful to God and indebted to the destiny lines that wove me into, that wove me and her together because that was something where you know when i saw her eyes for the first time it was like i had a telescope to every secret in the universe

and i think what followed that really proved what moving with love does because you know my the album that i made after that was just taking us to my downfall went to a level i'd never experienced and you know i started to be able to feel my body in different ways my mind like the frequency of my mind and the information that started coming into it in the way that I was able to start processing my own you know she was a when you know when you have a twin flame relationship it's you're essentially looking at a mirror at all of the things that you fucking have ran away from your whole life. And, you know, it's not like this grand waltz of love and gentility. It's really, really, really dark at at first and it's toxic because you're

staring it's you're essentially do you watch harry potter i don't but they do there was a remember that mirror where he could look in and he could see his parents and all that so it's like it's like looking at that but instead you're seeing all of the things that you've ran away from this whole time and all the things that those drugs have numbed and the music and successes have numbed and you're forced to either look away and lose or face and embrace. And that is the endless waltz that we are constantly in with each other. And so I think the reason that she and I have stepped away from publicizing anything

in our relationship, just down to photos of us having fun together or things like that is because we're both really intuitive people and so we feel the millions of we feel the millions of of hate that comes at you. The universe wants to tear down beautiful things always. But you guys standing together will never allow that because you guys are way stronger than any hate that you guys could ever receive. Well, I mean, I won't lie and say that, you know,

the evil eye didn't really, really take a toll on what, you know, we thought was a beautiful thing that we could maybe inspire people to not mimic, but just inspire people to love, right? Like that, not love us, but just inspire the action of love because I would be wrong in saying that we don't all, you know, kind of look at what we see on TV or on our phones and, you know, want to mimic or we think that, you know, I grew up, like i said the the main word that was in my house from my father about my mom was whore and the things that i would see on tv from the movies and the music i was listening to was not about monogamy and was not about love. It was about the complete opposite. And so me and her being...

You also have a huge mother wound too. For sure. And she clearly, you know, Megan was a big test for me in that because you're confronting all of your mother wounds when you find the person that you love and that relationship

or that idea that we had where we were like let's change what's in mainstream media about relationships like let's let's show love you know kind of felt like it backfired because it's it's cute at first and then people get sick of

seeing you happy and I you know I'm actually fortunate because I feel like I'm actually fortunate because I feel like a lot of the exes that I have and the women that I've met in my life, they've all kind of had an empathy for seeing that, oh man, it's just a broken kid. kid man like you know he'll figure it out one day I've been supported in that for a long time and I really appreciate all those people um that I've met on my journey for being so kind to me and understanding that I was just you know figuring myself out but um the hate that came with the relationship was you know but don't let them win no i know but but now we just don't let it be anybody's business right they don't yeah absolutely because what they don't know if they're winning or losing right for sure all they need to know is that you guys love each other and you guys are you know in it to win it um go ahead well yeah i mean i you know i'm i'm done no i love hearing you talk it's like

poetry so i could i just feel like i'm a really boring talker right now it's actually really beautiful i i talk at like a two mile per hour pace and i don't necessarily no i think i'm better at writing the music and talking than I am actually conversational talk. No, I think people at home are actually probably going to fall in love with you because just hearing you talk is so beautiful and it's very poetic. I just have one question, though. Like, can we just focus on the fact that Megan had way more swagger than you when you guys met? Because you better at a party. And she said you smell like weed.

And you looked at her and you said i am weed and then you you guys saw each other what like a year later and you walked into her trailer and and you know i sat outside my trailer yeah praying to god that she would look over when she got out of her car to walk into her trailer and maybe have like an a tiny inkling to be like come over here and it worked yeah you manifested that except yeah the first time i that was the second day of work the first day of work uh i was so awkward and just stared at the ground the whole time and she just asked me questions and she has really pretty feet so that was like she and she was she had but didn't you walk at the ground like i was like i don't know i was just i was super awkward

didn't know anything what i didn't know what to say she's asked me a bunch of questions and asked me when my birthday was and things like that um didn't you walk in and she said um how are you and you said i'm broken and she said well let's find you or i'm lost and she said let's find you i'm like go fucking megan go like that was that's hot that she did that yeah agreed oh so what was it like making you know on the set of this movie what was it like doing your first scene with her did you just know from the get-go that you guys were going to be together oh i was obsessed yeah for sure i was obsessed and uh yeah i think her conversation is just so entertaining she's so fun to listen to she has so much to say and she's so intelligent and she's you know she's really deep and she's dead sober and uh all the things you didn't think were possible in a woman yeah i grew up with a very skewed you know outlook and like i said like my my idols were

kind of like my parents so i was operating in a frequency that wasn't mine so a lot of those years and you know things that i'm judged for i'm just like it's you know that's that's a young man operating in a frequency that is not aligned with who i really am and so it also kind of trips me out because you know our skin cells regenerate every seven years so i'm i'm literally not the same person that i was seven years ago let alone the same person i was yesterday every day i'm constantly evolving and growing but it's something really important to keep in mind dude because people you know if if they're down in the pig pen getting dirty. They want you to be down there with them.

Oh, absolutely. They don't look at the ones outside of it being stoked. They're like, fuck that. I'm trapped down here. I'm going to do anything I can to get you down here with me. Instead of being like, I'll do anything I can to get out of here and be there with you. They love you when you're on their level. If you get any higher than that, they tear you when you're on their level if you get any higher than that they tear you down it's like they build you up to tear you down yeah so it's a it's a very

very toxic cycle to participate in and a lot of us are in it i was in it for so long um so gotta get out of it that requires strength and discipline and change you know going back to our quote about not you know not not aligning with those who are scared to take the next step unless they're completely positive that the ground will not break beneath them yeah yeah moving on from megan let's talk about tickets to Downfall. That was pretty life-changing for you. And I don't think, look at you smile. I love whenever you own your accomplishments. I think that's a good thing for you.

I'm just smiling. I'm not saying it was like anything like. Stop it. You could be like, yeah, motherfuckers, I did that. You did so good. I mean, to do a genre switch, I've only seen a few people do it successfully. And that's you, my husband, and maybe a few other people. And it is not easy because one, you have to win over brand new fans.

And then your old fans get mad, you know, like, you know, because you've been there. What was it like dropping that album? Were you absolutely petrified? Or did you know that it was going to be what it was? Oh, dude, I already felt completely alienated. I've been an outlier since birth. So I kind of just got back into that mentality of being a kid who wanted to be a Jedi. You know, or I did.

I mean, when I was trying to be Super Saiyan, I cannot describe to you how awkward I must have looked because I would be in my front yard like, ah, like dressed. Really channeling. Fully trying to get my chi to explode off of me and kamehameha anything. So I, yeah, tickets I did purely out of the spirit of what I wanted to do. I was a Warped Tour kid. The people that act like that was new for me, it's... I don't know if the right... It's bequeath.

What does that word mean? Because I've been... I bequeath you. So like in a will, they would like bequeath you property. Ah, okay. Well, I have been completely completely what's the word for like lost like i shocked it's insert synonym for shocked but i have just been

so confused at the narrative of you know me trying something new and like i've been a band since i started i've been flabbergasted that you have the nerve to even act like that is something new to me i've been a pop punk kid since I was just sense, you know, like that, that, that, that, like the, I also was, I, the one thing that confused me so much was, you know, kind of when I came out with that, I was, I knew I was relighting a flame for all of the peers that I had been friends with and grew up with and knowing that I now, now had a platform that could shine light on something that I had been friends with and grew up with and knowing that I now had a platform

that could shine light on something that I loved and all of the people that, I remember seeing you say something about Motionless and White and your husband doing a song with the Falling in Reverse. And those are all guys I've toured with. I've literally been on Warped with those guys in 2011, 2012, 2010, like doing the Ernie Ball stage, doing the main stage, playing as a band,

covering Blink songs, and just never really had the means or the discipline to sit down and just make an actual record that sounded like the universe I was already a part of but I couldn't believe the lack of support from the guys that I was really kind of supporting by putting this album out and I really felt like we all missed an opportunity to make that scene pop again, pop in a, in a way that felt like there was a ceiling.

And I was, I'm, you know, severely disappointed at the, the bands who didn't speak out or speak up for the movement that was happening because it had nothing to do with my music it had to do with the fact that there's a new generation of kids who are like holy shit like I want to play guitar yeah because bring seeing everyone

before then and I don't mean everyone obviously the scene is always alive but I'm just saying in mainstream culture you you know, like the Migos and Chief Keef and that was the, that was the shit when all the kids were like, ah, shit, I want to wear, you know, chains and hit cadences like that on 808s. Yeah. And I was also kind of seeing instrumentation die in mainstream radio and award shows and all those things. I was missing bands.

You know, all of the bands that were happening were bands that have been around for generations and i was like no it's time for this new shit and and you know i even loved going to the blink show recently seeing pierce the veil open i was like oh that's so sick you know like they deserve a bit they deserve this new audience and um i just felt like there was a real lack of support from people that I watched sit side stage with me when I would perform a Warped Tour. And who supported me when I was down. Right? Who supported me when I was on at 1 p.m. or 2 p.m. And I wasn't a force to be reckoned with in their eyes.

Like, it was just something cool. Like, oh, shit. You know, we fuck with this dude. But then, you know, we didn't form an alliance. Like, I wish we could have. And I really felt like that was a missed opportunity. you know we fuck with this dude but then uh you know we didn't form an alliance like i wish i wish we could have and i really felt like that was a missed opportunity and um you know all the youtubers the reactors and um you know people who had a platform who like joined the train of this is cool to shit on for likes or you know scared to embrace what's uncomfortable not cool i think it's it's way bolder

to rock with something that is uh gonna give that's gonna make other people look at you like why are you down with that because i experienced that as a kid when I would be like, I love Blink-182. And everyone was like, no, man, that's not punk. Anti-flag's punk. No effects is punk. And you're damn right. But Blink makes great music. And they're also punk as fuck.

And just because they're on MTV doesn't mean that they're soft or that their music is, you know, less, has less meaning. Like, it's so, you know, you has less meaning like i guess so you know with with my i think um i'm very happy and honored to anyone who listened to that album and embraced it and is an mgk fan because i really think that you're the outliers and i really think that it makes you in hindsight in 10 years from now it's going to make you feel proud that you are on this side of that movement as opposed to that side because my my wave doesn't crash

that album did great though let me look at the streams that album did great it got like 81.1 million streams is that correct no no no that's not correct when you google it that's what that's what it says it says 81.1 million streams oh on spotify it's i think three billion three billion on spotify alone yeah anyway that's still a ton of fucking streams like anybody that has anything bad to say about it is just literally promoting your album so people will listen to it at this point that's true maybe i'm being pessimistic in my outlook no no i'm just saying even if they're trying to hate on you it's like fuck those people dude because they're gonna make people curious and that's you know part of the streams that you're having yeah yeah yeah yeah i you know i i don't do i don't really do interviews ever so i guess i don't really get to say my side of things so i think i was more so

not trying to point out any negative i was just trying to fact check things because it's time for um everything you said was fine it's hard it's hard for me to watch narratives be be carried by falsified facts just like the thing with like oh he switched genres after this it's like oh it's impossible there was a rap album that followed that which was also my most successful rap album there was you know a pop punk album that came which was naturally leading up to that because even on my first album the first track featured avenge sevenfold which is a very goaded yeah band and shadows yeah and like those are these like this this is all you know on hotel diablo i left the last track being i think i'm okay letting people know that the next era is is coming and it came but even if that's what she said

but even if you did just say say that you didn't have all that background and you didn't have that track record even if you did come in and say hey you know what i want to do rock i'm going to pick up a guitar i'm going to learn how to fucking play why is that not okay why it's so okay exactly whatever the fuck you want literally matters dude like as a society matters i promise you better you have to just do whatever makes you feel happy if you want to rap one day you want to sing country and do the fucking polka look at me watch what happens i just rapped last week and then lonely road dropped that's a country rock record yeah we're bringing mgk over to country guys it's always a possibility i love i love

listen you're a country chords your cover you just did of luke i'm not luke bryan sorry zach of zach bryan's um son to me yeah was beautiful thank you and you're the delivery your voice everything was amazing thank you that song really spoke to me. So I was really happy I did that. I was so flattered. I saw a tweet. Someone pulled a tweet up from Zach in 2012 where he was like, it's an MGK day. I was like, sick.

The universe is cool. You call Megan the sun to you, don't you? Does that have any sort of... She has so many nicknames. Yeah. Yeah. I love Maki. I call her Maki. She calls me Buddha. don't you does that have any sort of she has so many nicknames yeah yeah i love uh i love maki i call her maki she calls me buddha why does she call you buddha and why do you call her maki

question i don't know why she calls me buddha because i'm not essentially very buddha like maybe i can start now hold up there you go you need a belly though too you got to get that belly going there you go i can push out she calls you lamby too right lamby yeah lamby she said you had to earn that back though in an interview yeah why'd you have to earn it back what'd you do i think you know like lamby is like a the the very like vulnerable, softer side. Oh. I don't know. Is a lamb a sheep?

Yes. Yes. It's a baby sheep, correct? A lamb is a baby sheep? I think so. We all don't know. I don't know. All we know is that it's cute.

Listen, we think we're smart over here. It's cute and soft. Yeah. So I'm assuming that I had something to do with that. Unless I look like a lamb. But I think I look more like I've been labeled've been labeled a meerkat no you think you have very as far as like physically when you told me your background it makes complete sense Norwegian yes you have all of the features yeah my family is like heavy heavy Norwegian like even the church services once a week are done in norwegian

they're from a town where the vikings came a long time ago and such an odd path that you know they came they ended up there but even the bowling alley in that town is called nordic lanes all the holiday meals are norwegian food everything is have you ever been there to norway yeah oh yeah oh do you love it yeah yeah do you feel like when you go back because i'm brazilian and i haven't been back to brazil yet but they always say when you go back to like your motherland your soul feels it is that true absolutely and i think the the the magic of that culture is is very um active in my blood so you know the when i'm able to um you know tap into that depending on certain moon phases and um

i you know i i just you know, I, I, just kind of, it's, it's hard not to say ritual because people just take it and run. A ritual is something that you do over and over and over again. It doesn't have to be something satanic.

No, not at all. That's what's so sad is that the OCD people have rituals. I have rituals. Right. Right. But the, but what's so sad is that magic is so real and it's,

it's such scary to know that we all have the power to create a product out of a dream. a product out of a dream and you know even you know if we're just speaking about you know uh moon phases like the the beauty of tapping into that like you know when people struggle with fasting or something like if they would just tap into what like ikarashi which is 11 days after the full moon or new moon, either one, the, the pull of the moon is a lot less. So the demand for your body to have food and water on that day is, is the least. Um, I love that. That's fascinating because the moon makes women have their periods it makes the times yes so there's so much power in that there's so much power in that so you it's it's there there's the least amount of pull from the moon on that day so you're able to go that whole day without without really feeling that urge if you um you know work up to that point and you could just start there it's a

really really special day if you're ever trying to uh you know get into that because it helps your body kill all the sicknesses like when you when you practice those things your cells you know turn over and it's a lot of magic and just just that practice but um it's a lot of magic and just, just that practice. But, um, there's a lot of magic and everything. And if you can just, I wish more people didn't demonize it as much as they do. And I've just feel like even,

you know, not to get into religion because I don't really talk about religion that much on the podcast, but you know, even Christianity has taken so many things from pagans and, you know, there's just, there's a whole world out there that

if people just kind of explored it they would see that it's not bad and it's not evil it's not like what they portray in the movies and it's not like good which bad which of course there's bad people who do bad things with good things that they're given but that doesn't mean that that's how it has to be. Yeah. But I guess I also enjoy that. It's a scary idea because it would then just become oversaturated. True. I don't know. You need some people to be over on that side. I always say we are the kids from the witches that were burned.

Word. Your friendship with my husband, I think, is the cutest thing I've ever seen. Because he is in desperate need of a little brother right and I don't know maybe you need a big brother too and he just absolutely loves you and adores you like this man like he just he's like Kels he calls you Kels and it's just the cutest thing ever and he just really I don't know it's like you guys are just like kindred spirits I agree which is so interesting given that we started out You know hating each other. Yeah, let's talk about it

You know, that was actually so long ago. I mean You know for the new jelly fans I knew him as a rapper and for the new MGK fans I am a rapper And I forgot what started all of it I mean I know me and Yella I think it was him just kind of sticking up for Yella yeah me and Yella didn't you know we didn't rock with each other yeah he's very loyal and uh it kind of got to a point though where like a lot of you know it was there was a lot of street shit and gang shit behind it um on both ends and i think if i'm not mistaken two of our big homies so dope together like on through from the ohio to nashville slash atlanta connection and they were both like y'all white boys gotta chill because it's fucking a business so uh i don't think they realize how

intertwined like ohio nashville and atlanta are yeah oh yeah it's yeah it's it's like business so uh i don't think they realize how intertwined like ohio nashville and atlanta are yeah oh yeah it's yeah it's it's like this so i learned that moving into nashville i never knew you know because i'm from the west coast so i was just like thought the west coast was going on never knew and then when i moved out to nashville and jay told me about like you know the gds and like you know all that stuff culture and the drug culture between all those, like those, those highways are really wild. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy.

So we, through, through that, I mean, there was always respect. I'm sure, you know, cause I, at the end of the day,

we were all putting out hot shit and, you know, the handful of fucked up, tatted white boys is slim to none. know what i mean like especially at that time the ones who had uh you know made it past a mixtape buzz so you know uh a lot of ego yeah but also you kind of you're all just waiting for each other to be like yo i fuck with you right so once that happened we were locked in. Because obviously then you respect each other's G too. So, you know, because you know that where each other comes from and all that.

And I'm pretty sure Jelly and I squashed it through a really drunk FaceTime. Yeah. Recently though, right? It was like a year or two ago? No, it was like five, six years. Because then the drunk FaceTimes would continue. I remember, right? I think you had came back to nashville to do something with yellow and we were going to be in the video but we weren't like in town or something yeah and i

think that's when you guys had squashed it yeah right and that was a tense video shoot too because that was the first time me and yellow's people all like my people and yellow's people all were face to face since the beef was kind of squashed so we were all in there like yeah i mean it was a lot of a lot of guns a lot of egos yeah i think that was really everyone but everyone put it aside because music dude it's crazy how music brings people together and totally but i think you brought up a really good point because a lot of these beefs could be squashed by one setting egos aside but two all you you said all we needed to hear from the other person was that you fucked with me and it would have just been you know like i think a lot of people especially in the music industry need to hear that right now because it's like

what are we beefing for and all we all we want is validation yeah because and if you're like me and jelly like you you don't you don't get it from your parents, so you want it from somebody else. Yeah. And that's why I DM any artists that I see doing their thing, whether they fuck with me or not. I'm always like, you know, I like this. Yeah.

Whatever. I feel like that's what the OGs are supposed to do to the people that are coming up in the game. I feel like for you to do that, I think is awesome because my husband does that too. And I think that just speaks volumes of your character because not a lot of people will do that. Yeah, they didn't do it to me. They still don't do it to me. So, you know, I'm lonely in that sense.

Jelly's one of the few people who, you know, rides for me publicly, which means a lot. who you know rides for me publicly which means a lot in the the the amount of authenticity behind how much he says I love this dude speaks for a hundred other people who can say it half-heartedly so i uh and i really actually just appreciate the the hours that we've spent where my temper is in a different my temperament is in a different place than his is um and i'm i you know i still have this i love this quote actually i'm a quote person too yeah i have so many of your quotes in here. So if you see me look down, I'm just looking at these,

this pages of notes that I have for you. These cats. This was, this was something that, that, uh, Halsey had said to me about me. She said a child who grows up in a village where he wasn't held grows up to

burn the world down so they can feel the heat. That gives me goosebumps. And so a lot of that is still so present in my temperament and jelly is great about diffusing diffusing and you know i'll have you know I'll have things where you know I I bring to him like hey I'm mad about this at you and he's able to hold space for it and redirect it and it's just and and at the same time make me feel validated for the emotions and feelings I have and then give me a solution as well. So I, I, uh, was really, really lucky to meet your husband and make a, you know, gain a big brother. Well, he feels the same about you. And I think this is going to be a lifelong friendship and I am here for it. I think you guys compliment each other. So let's talk about mental health

and sobriety. Where's your sobriety journey now i'm completely sober from from everything i don't know i don't drink anymore um i haven't drank since last august and you hold to that because i actually wanted you to have a drinking contest with my husband and you were like no i'm sober it just kills me because i just know i would have fucking drank that if you ever do. If you ever do, we're not encouraging it. But if you ever do, please don't. It was hard. And when we were shooting Lonely Road and, you know, he rented out the bowling alley and the drinks kept coming. That was like probably the second night in this process that I've had where I've ever just been looking.

And it was probably just from that place of ego where I was just like, Jelly, i just want to drink you under the table in this high ass altitude after i've been sober yeah and then we showed up to set the same time the next day and i saw his condition and i saw mine and i was like i made the right choice no literally he tries to get me to drink it was rough he showed up and he was like bubba just tell me when tell me when the camera's rolling. I'll step out right when it's time. He texts me. He's like, I'm so fucking hungover.

I'm like, good. I love when he does that to himself because then he takes a break from drinking. So I'm like, yeah, have a ball, honey. Do whatever you want. I said, it's high elevation, so just pace yourself. And he's like, I got this. I'm like, whatever.

So you're sober off everything. Is your mental health better now that you're sober? Is that when the real battle has begun? Because I know when I got sober in 2017, it was sobriety sucks. It was the hardest journey that I went on because then I had to get to know, know myself. Yeah.

And that was the real battle. I had to get to know myself without something in my system, you know masking that was really I get mad at sobriety a but you know i i didn't tell anybody outside of you know the closest to me but i went to rehab right when we got off the european tour last year and that was my first time I ever went to rehab and man they just gave me so many ways to operate the body and show where this like anger is coming from and methods to to quell it and um I met with a lot of psychiatrists some who gave up on me and many therapists who did the same. But I ended up falling into an awareness of what my condition is and have made peace with it

and it's a constant tight rope walk. it's a constant tightrope walk can we speak on what the condition is that one feels a little too brand new for me to confidently um say but i've also been able to have my art and that's kind of where i feel really comfortable um taking it out and wood carving you know i like doing that i like you can whittle some wood i can whittle some fucking wood i fucking saw that video you posted i was like this is crazy that takes precision yeah yeah that's my my grandpa is a norwegian uh wood carver so like tommy lee with the bonsais where tommy's cold he's cold with the bonsais uh yeah what else do i do take out my cats be a volleyball dad go on dates has megan been a catalyst in your sobriety

i think all my friends i think everyone's just really yeah i mean absolutely megan has for sure been um extremely helpful in dealing with the kind of psychological withdrawals that come with getting off drugs yeah it's rough and being um um accepting that having fun isn't being a self-medicated

or like being hmm dang sorry I'm like I'm bad at answering these questions cause I'm like new to all this. I think you're doing great. I think you've crushed this entire interview. Am I putting you to sleep over there? Absolutely. I've just been really happy seeing everybody.

really happy seeing everybody right like i love that i'm clear when i look at you know the person i love i'm really happy that when i'm clear when my daughter and i are having our conversations and i'm coming from a place of being centered and holding space for what a child needs from their parent, you know, which is patience and, um, advice that doesn't come from like, I just want to get through this so I can go and satiate this desire. Yeah. This like demon in me in me you know like that's been a huge reward for me and um i give a lot of props a lot of props to everyone around me for for never quitting before i got to this point because i really hope I'm a lot more of like a pleasure to be around and I have

it's funny this is this is my this is much my cat that kind of your emotional support can know this is the this is the troubled one really this is me in cat form right here but every time you talk about something serious or like you are kind of like tied up on your words they is it he or she is he he chimes in have you noticed that yeah he's like i got you i got you dad and he just purred for the first time in two years so he was a lot like how i feel i was where you know megan was she saw like who i truly was and she was just waiting for that to be able to come out you know because that's that's the reward when you have a soulmate is to be able to be connected with that person's soul and when you're blocking it and covering it with all these things you weren't able to see it and you know same goes for uh you know casey one of the biggest things

that killed me in that relationship was when she would be like dad i know when you're high so you you that is like the ultimate sign of like just disappointment in yourself. And yeah, I continue to, you know, embrace that this journey is going to be hard for me, but I accept it and forgive myself for, I really don't know. I'm also like really hard on myself, very self deprecating.

So I guess, yeah, I'm just happy that I'm able to start to be comfortable enough to show people who I am. Because I kind of depended on my art to do that. And you got to understand that a lot of people aren't going to listen. Yeah. So, and Jelly inspired me to do that, too. He was kind of like, man, you got to get out there and talk and show people who you are i mean all my friends mod huge huge advocate for being like man i just wish people could see who i see megan huge advocate for that mod loves you he started crying on the

podcast when he was talking about you guys's friendship i love him to death now sitting at sunken pit over there and smoke 30 cigarettes with him at 3 a.m talking about life and bitching about sobriety and just getting it out there and uh you know all my friends like even when slim came and ashley's over there and all these people that have just been with me through this whole ride i really just kind of want to i would that that thought of when you die how will people remember you i don't necessarily think it's man he made great songs right you want people to be like man what a great you know what would i could call on that person whenever i needed something like that was that person was always there for me but you can't be there if your mind is on Neptune.

So that's how they say people will always remember you for how you made them feel. Ooh, it's a good one. Yeah. That's how I'm operating right now. I just like, I just,

yeah, I think you're doing great. And I suck at talking. Uh, I think, I don't know. You did. We did about two and a half. We did about two hours. Right. I think you're doing great. Dude, I suck at talking. I think, I don't know. We did about two hours, right? I think, yeah. I think you did great.

So wrapping up, what can we expect from you moving forward? Because you did take it, are we going back to rap? Are we going, are we staying in the rock genre? Are we just going to do whatever the fuck we feel like doing?

I'm doing whatever the fuck I feel like doing i'm doing whatever the fuck i feel like doing attaboy country let's do country i'm doing whatever the fuck i feel like doing i love rapping i love playing my guitar i love belting out whatever i'm holding inside and sentences that feel like an explanation of feelings and yeah I don't know I I would honestly say like at this point nothing I've done will be repeated so everything will be new which will come with some more controversy only this time both my feet are on the ground and I'm

unstoppable and I also don't give a fuck anymore art wins and heart wins. And I got both. Let's fucking go. Well, I'm proud of you.

And Kelsey, I think you did fucking phenomenal in this interview. Can we give him a round of applause? I think you did amazing. You did so good. And thank you, buddy. Dude,

thank you for coming on the podcast. I'm so happy to have you. Thank you. My cats have absolutely shit up everywhere. know you can smell it i'm so sorry we chose the room right next to where the litter box is fine it's totally fine it was a vibe and we just loved being here so thank you so much and thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of dumb blonde we will see you guys next week bye