Dumb Blonde - Trashley: From Trauma to Tik Tok Stardom

Episode Date: March 16, 2022

Bunnie welcomes TikTok sensation and her long-lost sister, Trashley aka Ashley Clark Huffman. She opens up about enduring hurt and abuse and overcoming the pain to become a strong woman and source of strength to millions of people, thanks to her viral videos on TikTok. Trashley talks about punching her aunt, why she decided to show the realities behind sex working, battling addiction, and the fight of custody for her son.  Trashley: TikTok  Bunnie: Website  Watch Full Episodes & More: www.dumbblondeunrated.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Is this thing on? Alright gentlemen, coming to main stage next, this is Bunny. Get up there, she's got a tornado of titties coming your way. Get those dollar bills ready. She's got an ass that shakes like Michael J. Fox. So get up there and throw, throw, throw them dollars. Dude, that is fucking iconic. What's up you sexy motherfuckers?

Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. Today I have a TikTok sensation in the midst, but what's really cool is she is like a, a, um, long lost sister that I'm just so happy to bring on the podcast. And it, it, do you want me to call you trashly or do you want me to call you Ashley? I feel bad calling you trashly. A lot of people say that like, no, I don't like calling you trashly. It's up to you. Um, I just got that nickname in prison so you can call me Ashley it's fine okay but she goes by trashly anonymous right on tiktok and we're just so happy to have you here what's up baby yeah well I'm happy to be here I'm super super fucking nervous ah don't be oh yeah this is my podcast we talk about buttholes we

talk about everything on this podcast don't be nervous nervous. I think so. Okay, let's let's rewind all the way back to when I first discovered you. It took me forever to get on TikTok. I was like, I'm not fucking getting on TikTok. I'm fucking 40 years old. I'm not fucking going on TikTok. And my manager was like, bitch, you're getting the fuck on TikTok, whether you want to do it or not. So I got on there and I remember seeing your posts and I was just like, oh my God, because you were so open about your lifestyle, which we'll get into. And I immediately was like, oh, this is my bitch. You know, I was like, this is my girl, because you just, no matter the ridicule, no matter people coming against you, you still stood strong in your truth. And I appreciate that in women because not enough women have enough balls to do shit like that, especially nowadays. So why don't we hop into a little bit of your story that you do tell on TikTok? Where were you born and raised? Okay, so I was born and raised in Columbus, Ohio. Well, actually, it's literally like a hick town is called Thornville, ohio so we grew up um well i grew up

on this farm we had it was called buckeye lake music center back in the day and they had like concerts like jimmy buffett the grateful dead just a bunch of you know um musicians and um we lived there up until i don't know maybe like i was probably 13 or 14 we moved um literally like right down the road for a year and then we moved to Pickerington and that's I feel like when we moved to Pickerington that's when I moved in with my aunt and it seems like my life just completely went to shit so let's talk about that for a little bit because I'm real big on talking about trauma here like we've all fucking been through some shit and I just think it's a beautiful thing when you see women who literally rise above it and come out of it and break those generational curses so fucking kudos to you

um why did you have to go live with your aunt so I chose to go live with her because um well both my parents passed away when I was a baby so well my biological dad he's still here you know unfortunately but i've only here but not here yeah yeah i get that four times and i'm 36 that's how my mom is i've only seen her probably two or three times and i'll be 42 in a week oh my god wow i did not know that um and so like you know my grandparents um my grandpa he ended up getting lung cancer and he decided to die at the house and I just was not comfortable with that yeah that's brutal my aunt she was always she was like that young mom kind of you know I guess influence on me at the time that I didn't have at home like I was

used to like the old school you know grandma and grandpa kind of thing and so I just chose to live with her she had you know the extra room she at first was like yeah come live with me and you know uh like I said that was a big big mistake Like I remember like a handful of times during my childhood before moving in with her, like she, I didn't know my grandparents who were my grandparents until she told me when I was like seven years old. Oh, you thought they were your parents. I thought they were my mom and dad. And that's gotta, that's gotta be heartbreaking. Oh yeah. You know, she came over and she was like, you need to stop calling my mom and dad, your mom and dad. I'm like, what do you mean? And she's like, well, your mom and dad, you know, your mom died when he was a baby and your dad just doesn't want

you. And I was like, what? So I was really confused. I thought she was lying, you know? This is your aunt, right? Yeah. And so, um, ever since then, like she, you know, every time she would come over, she would just like, just say little stuff, you know, like just, she had a daughter that was my age, my cousin. And, um, I would overhear conversations she would have with my grandparents. Like, why don't you treat, you know, Valerie like this? Why don't you do this and that for her? Take her on vacation with you. Do you know, buy her this. And I remember my grandma telling her so many times, like, well, it's a different situation. Like I'm raising her as my own.

She don't have parents. Your kids have parents. Like it's different different situation like I'm raising her as my own she don't have parents your kids have parents like it's different and evidently she just didn't get the concept so when I moved in with her when I was 13 um you know she she always like married for money so which there's nothing wrong with that no I mean shout out to all the babies who do that but I I can't do it we'll talk about that later but she I always seen her with somebody who was older and had money and so she was always that like submissive housewife you know and uh she would always tell me and my cousin so many times, like, you know, make sure that, you know, whoever you are with, make sure they have money, they can take care of you. That's how my dad raised me. Yeah. So, I mean, in a sense, I guess, you know, it's a good thing. You know, you want, what's the, I guess, best for, you know, your kids. And I guess that's all she

knew. So, uh, but she, she was, I could tell right off the bat, she completely, you know your kids and I guess that's all she knew right so uh but she she was I could tell right off the bat she completely you know treated me completely different than her kids but every time we would go out somewhere and she would run into like a friend of hers she she would introduce me like oh this is my niece but she's like my daughter you know I'm raising her like my own but she's really behind closed doors she's calling me all kinds of right so she was a narcissist whatever made her look good in front of people and then she put you down because she was jealous of you yeah that's exactly that's exactly in a nutshell exactly and same with her same with her kids too like you even till this day it's the same you know I don't talk to any of

them now but it's still the same, the same old shit. So moving forward in your childhood, you had, you had to deal with a lot of abuse. When did that start? So I remember we lived in California for like, I think a year. Um, I was like four or five and, um, I remember being in the garage and both of my brothers were in there. These are your real blood brothers. Yeah. Okay. So we, well, we have different dads with same mom. Gotcha. So I remember my second oldest, um, he Shane, he left, uh, the garage, but he shut the door behind him. And then my oldest brother was sitting, there was a weight, weight bench, and he was sitting on the edge of the weight bench and he pulled his pants down. And I remember him telling me, Oh, well just act like

you're sucking your thumb. And I'm like, I started screaming cause he ended up, you know, grabbing my hand, putting it on, you know, know himself how old was he at this time yeah how old was I was or he wait a minute so I'm 36 he's like 40 46 or 47 okay so he was a lot older I mean not that it would have mattered how old he was but he knew what the fuck he was doing yeah yeah absolutely and I remember screaming and crying while you know um I opened up the garage door went to the front door and I told my grandmother and I remember her yelling at them at both of my brothers but then like two or three days later she just she used to go to Mexico a lot for some reason her and my grandpa I don't know why but I'm like pills or the Tijuana donkey show. Which one is it?

But you know, cause I've been there for both. Like now I know why, like, yeah, well, I'm pretty sure I know why, but, um, you know, she just left me there with them. She never made a big deal. And it was always whatever goes on in this house stays in this house. that was the motto like you don't say anything to your friends yeah I feel like that generation that's how they were like let's oh you got raped cool let's sweep it under the rug like and you got to deal with that trauma by yourself like it's just crazy how different our generations are now oh I know yeah so different and I remember saying something to my aunt and um she, of course, thought I was lying. Well, come to find out, she was actually having sexual relations with one of my brothers.

And I've always heard. The aunt was banging one of the brothers? Yes, her nephew. She was a horny motherfucker. Listen. Shit. I'm one of those people who makes fun of my trauma so I just try to make people laugh when they talk about their trauma too it's very inappropriate it's a fucking weird tactic I've acquired in life and I apologize it's totally fine I do the same thing like I

I remember hearing things from even my brother. He would say things like, oh, yeah, I banged, you know, Trisha last night. But I really didn't know if he was telling the truth or if he was just being a dick. Right. Were your brothers abused sexually by anybody? Is that why they? So I don't know. But I've had so many people ask me that.

And I. Because that's learned behavior. Yeah. When I was five years old, my aunt used to make me sit down and watch porn with her. And she would make me tell my parents that I was watching Alice in Wonderland. Oh, my God. And Disney movies. Yeah.

So needless to say, I grew up really sexual. And that's because, you know, amongst other things that have happened in my life. But, you know, when a child gets exposed to some sort of sexual behavior at a young age it it turns them out you know and I can't just imagine your your not that it's an excuse there's no fucking excuse for it but I just can't imagine that your brothers acquired that without some sort of abuse yeah I'm pretty sure there's something that had to have you know went on yeah um like I even my grandmother my grandpa my grandpa he was a truck driver so he used to take me on the road with him all the time um which you know I would skip school and go you know um with him and I

enjoyed doing that but I remember my grandmother always asked me every single time he would come back I need to ask you this, Ashley. Did anything happen while you were on the road and all that stuff? And I used to get so mad at her. Like, no. Like, why would you ask me that? She was trying to be protective or she was jealous because there's a weird thing there, you know? I don't know.

I don't know. All I know is I remember her asking me so many times. And then I just said, look, you know, why are you asking me this? And she's like, well, I remember walking in one day when your mom was like 11 years old and he was drunk and he was touching her inappropriately and she said that was the last time that he drank okay so I never seen my grandpa drink so I didn't even know he was even an alcoholic. Right. But after my grandma, you know, mentioned that to me, I don't know if it was like a seed planted in my head. And I just started having like these dreams and just these flashbacks of certain incidents with my grandpa. But like I said, I don't know if it really happened.

Right. It's crazy because when you're a child and stuff like that happens to you I'm dealing with this now because I'm gonna I'm starting to get like therapy and shit um you disassociate from the trauma that's happening and you you either become another person which is what um multiple personality disorder happens or you separate yourself out of your body so much that it becomes derealization and it feels like a dream. So it's like you really don't know if something happened to you because it was obviously a traumatic situation.

Yeah. When did the abuse with your brother start leveling up? Did that, did it stop at him? Just you touching, grabbing your hands or? No. So I remember when we moved from California back to Ohio we lived on the farm I used to beg my grandma to let me you know sleep in her bed with her especially if my brothers were at home or if I knew they were coming home I would throw a fit or I would just

like you know just go into her room and just act like I'm asleep so that she would just let me sleep there. But I remember my bedroom was upstairs, her bedroom was downstairs. So both, you know, all me and my two brothers were upstairs. So every time I would sleep in my room, I would always wake up to, and I always had the door closed, always have the door completely closed. Um, and I would wake up to the door being open and, you know, either like my underwear off or like if I had like pajama shorts or whatever, they would be off. Um, and I know like I didn't do that, you know, and then about nine times out of 10, my sheets would be wet, you know, because I wet the bed. So, um, and every time I would ask my grandma, like, can I just please sleep with you?

She would say, yeah. But then if my grandpa came home from, you know, on the road or if he was there, he would carry me upstairs. So then I would wake up in my bed and I used to be, you know, like so pissed. Cause I'm like, you know, what the hell? Like, and they knew what was going on. They knew what was going on. I remember when they, when my brothers, um, when we actually moved from the farm to, you know, down the street, before we moved to Pickerington, I remember my, um, grandparents kicking them out and they told me at the time they kicked them out because

they weren't going to school you know they were just skipping school and stuff but come to find out it was because of the abuse that they were you know doing to me and my grandma just wanted it to stop so instead of calling the police like she should have you know she just kicked them out thinking that you know they weren't going to do it anymore. Which when they did kick them out, I guess I just ended up getting old, you know, older. And, you know, they left me alone. They lost interest because you were older. Yeah, exactly. So sad. Yeah. Sick. Yeah. And so I remember when I was 14, I, you know, met my son's, um, my son's dad and he was like my first crush or, you know, God, but I look back on some of my crushes too. And I'm like, Oh Lord, my last ex. I'm still like that. Every ex I've had, I'm like, God, what was I fucking thinking?

And I remember when he first came over to my aunt's house, he raped me. And I remember that day so vividly. So you guys had been dating or this was like your first like, hey, come over and let's hang out. So I met him probably like a week or two weeks before he came over. I met him on my 14th birthday. How old was he? He was either 19 or 20. Okay. So we hung out, obviously, you know, when we met, I met him at the pool hall or whatever, went across the street to the movie theater. And, um, you know, we exchanged numbers and we were talking for like that whole like week or two.

And we came up with a plan to where he was going to tell my aunt and uncle that he was only like 17. He just turned 17. So when he came over, he ended up saying, no, I, you know, I'm 19 and, you know, blah, blah, blah. So my aunt was okay with it, which was really weird because she was so like adamant with and very strict on. She probably wanted to bang him. Yeah. Oh yeah. Well that's coming up.

Oh Lord. Yes. Yes. So when, like I said, I remember that nice, like it was yesterday. I remember exactly what I was wearing. I remember the smell in the air. I remember what time it was on the clock. Like I remember the smell in the air. I remember what time it was on the clock. Like, I remember everything. So after it happened, I remember going upstairs saying something to my

aunt. She was like, well, just go take a shower and see, you know, take a bath or whatever. And you know, see how you feel. What happened in the, he just went in the room and just raped you. So I went down after he met, you know, the family or whatever. He was like, well, I got to go to the restroom. Like, okay, well, I'll just meet you downstairs. So downstairs was on one side was my room, but the other side was like the hangout room. That's where, you know, me and my cousin, our friends will go to hang out and drink and smoke. And, you know, my aunt will come down there and hang out with us and stuff. So I was over there.

I was on the futon. I was playing the video game, waiting for him to come down there and hang out with us and stuff so uh I was over there I was on the futon I was playing the video game waiting for him to come down he comes downstairs and he sits beside me and he just you know we just started making out and um all of a sudden he takes like I had the video you know game controller still in my hand and he takes that out of my hand and then he starts, you know, literally like leaning on me. And I was like, okay, his hand started to wander, you know, across my breasts and down, you know, below. And I was like, wait a minute, I'm not comfortable with this. And not because I was a virgin.

Yeah. And he was like, no, it's fine. It's fine. I remember him just, I had on Tommy Hovill gear overalls and a long sleeve white shirt. just I had on Tommy Hovill gear overalls and a long sleeve white shirt and he takes me from you know the futon to on the floor and he just unsnaps you know my god damn it straps yeah it's okay you're talking about something traumatic so it's definitely gonna be yeah and he you know just started you know doing I wasn't just wasn't taking no for an answer yeah and I told him no like more than I told him no three times like the first time was on the couch I said no I'm not comfortable he's like oh it's fine just

go with the flow went down when you took me down there I'm like no like I really don't want to do this and then the third time I'm like look I'm a virgin like I have never done anything like this before you know like this is not what I want and he was like oh it's fine it's fine it's not gonna hurt it'll be fine it'll be over before you know it um and then you know it was over before I knew it like it would probably only last maybe like a couple minutes like literally only but he didn't use protection. Um, and like I was bleeding a little bit, so I didn't know if that was like normal. I didn't know what the hell was going on. So when he left, cause he left right after that happened. Right. And as soon as a great guy just takes your virginity, doesn't even cuddle you or anything, dude.

As soon as I heard the garage door, cause there was like an alarm on the garage door. Um, as soon as I heard it, you know, beep, I went upstairs. I said something to my aunt. That's when she told me to just take a shower because I told her I was bleeding. I'm like, I don't know what's going on. And she's like, oh, you know, he just popped your cherry. That's just normal. Okay, well, I didn't want it popped.

That's the problem. She didn't make a big deal about it at all. So when I was in the shower, I just kept thinking like, well, maybe I'm make a big deal about it at all so when I was in the shower I just kept thinking like well maybe I'm making a big deal about it maybe I'm just overreacting because this is a guy that I like trying to rationalize it yeah um and so I remember even after that incident I think it was not even like two or three days later I was coming home from the bus on the bus and the bus passes her, you know, my aunt's house. And I saw his red pickup truck in the driveway.

I'm like, oh, great. Like, what the hell? Well, he would come over quite a bit, like while I was at school. And if I had like a friend that was on the bus with me, either Holly or Jennifer. I would either go to their house. It's like, can I just stay at your house? Because I noticed that he would leave around the same time my uncle would come home from work, like between like six or seven. Yeah.

So. So after this happened, he would just go to your house and hang out and you just constantly avoided him? Well, I still talk to him. Right. out and you just constantly avoided him well I still talked to him right after that incident I did talk to him over the phone um because I just because my aunt didn't make a big deal I just assumed that it wasn't a big deal I just assumed that I was overreacting um and then I resorted back to thinking about my brothers like well maybe this is what guys does to girls that they like right you know so but I would try to avoid him as much as I can there was like so many times

where I would have to go home because none of my friends were on the bus um so when I would go you know back home he would just you know be there in the kitchen with my aunt just you know talking or whatever um and I didn't think anything was going on between them well you're young right you know you're you don't have a lot of life experience underneath you and you're so naive and I didn't you know whatever thing that's not your fault yeah but come to find out they were sleeping together and that sounds like a real fucking gem of a woman yeah oh my god well listen it's not just her it's also my cousin she slept with him too lord and this guy have a fucking dick made of gold or what's happening lord and i remember so you found out that they were sleeping together well i didn't find out

then right so i found out maybe like maybe two or three years later hold on one second memes will you hit that heat baby it's coming down yeah i'm so sorry it's like right here thank you so you found out two or three years later yeah god that's a long time he fucking stuck around for a while yeah well he oh it's it's just a complete shit show yeah after okay so this is just like a lot I feel like my whole life is just like a complete shit show we're just painting a picture for people to see where you came from, what you went through and how you came out of it. So I think even, you know, these details are great and people are going to definitely be, sadly, there's going to be people who are going to be able to relate to the same situation, you know?

Well, I remember after, um, from the day that he, you know, raped me, we stayed in contact for maybe like two months after the two months. Um, I remember it was my aunt and uncle's wedding anniversary. They were out to dinner and he came over and he was like, you know, telling me, well, I got four bags of, you know, trash bags in the trunk. I'm just just gonna pack your clothes and we're gonna go like we've we talked about me leaving with him to go out of state uh because he knew how fucked up my family was he's seen it you know I mean he fit right in right so but he it was almost like a tactic to get you alone though I feel like yeah absolutely and he to control you easier right and he um that's what he did he you know as soon as my aunt and uncle left for dinner he comes over

he uh he's like we'll go upstairs and distract Valerie you know and so I tell Valerie like well I'm just gonna go down the street and get you know some cigarettes or something from you know shell so and she's like okay uh she's like we'll be back before you know mom, you know, shell. So, and she's like, okay. Uh, she's like, we'll be back before, you know, mom and you know, mom comes home. I'm like, oh yeah, I will. So we leave. And I remember like, I didn't obviously back then I didn't have no cell phone. Like I was only, you know, 14. So I remember maybe like an hour, hour and a half later, his phone starts blowing up and, um, his mom called him and I can hear his mom at the time we were at a hotel, he ended up, you know, getting a hotel, literally like a probably $30 hotel.

So I was sitting on the bed and I can hear his mom saying, Do you know how old this girl is? Because he told his mom that I was 18 no and he was like mom it doesn't matter I heard him tell her like well she's getting abused at the home and all this of her family's just crazy you know and she's like it doesn't matter like you're going to get arrested for this you're going to get in trouble and mind you I never told him I was getting abused at home right ever it was just part of his tactic yeah and um I think I told him I was getting abused at home. Right. Ever. It was just part of his tactic. Yeah. And I think I told him about like my, my brothers, but you know, not in detail or anything.

Right. Um, so I remember the next day, um, we get up early, probably like six or seven in the morning and he, we leave and we were going to go down to Georgia. That is, that's what our plan was. So we were driving while he was driving. And as soon as he almost hit the West Virginia, West Virginia, tell me what's on your mind, baby. So the, um, West Virginia, um, a line, there was a state police and I guess he was speeding and they pulled him

over and of course there was like a missing persons and all this stuff so they take me out and they're like what's your name because he gave them like a false name of mine I was like I'm not gonna lie to them they're going to know right so they take him to jail my aunt comes and picks me up I was like maybe two and a half three hours away from home so she was pissed yeah and so her my uncle comes and gets me and um they were like well we're going to take you to children's because we're going to get a rape test done on you and at this time we did have sex the day before the night before but it was consensual right he did not rape me then so I told her I was on our on our way to children's I'm consensual right he did not rape me then so i told her i

was on our on our way to children's i'm like you do realize he did not rape me like i agree to it when i told you that he raped me two months ago you didn't do anything about it right now the aunt wants to fucking come to you because she's probably feel scorned because he chose you over her probably yeah now that I now that you say that yeah that's exactly what happened that's how narcissists are that's crazy that's probably what it was that's wow anyway so she takes me to children's and she tells the doctor I want a rape test and the doctor and I said no I don't want it done and he was like well I can't do it and without her consent because I was just like raping her all over again.

I remember going back home. She was so pissed off at me. Like she knew like how much, you know, makeup. Like I used to wear so much fucking makeup. I still do now. But, you know, back then. I love makeup. So she took everything from me.

She took all of my makeup. She took the door off of my bedroom door like the off the hinges and everything she wanted leverage she wanted to have control of that situation yeah and I had my door taken off the hinges too I told you you were my sister and my windows nailed shut it was crazy didn't do that well I don't even think that I could even open up the windows all the way yeah I don't think she even had to do that. Well, I don't even think that I could even open up the windows all the way. Yeah. I don't think she even had to do that. But she would also put like a tape recorder on the home phone because he would call, you know, either like he would call like three way or, you know, from jail or whatever certain

times. And, and she knew like, I don't know how she found out. I don't know if maybe like my cousin told her like oh you know Ashley's on the phone you know talking to him or talking to somebody so she literally put a tape recorder on the phone to every single time she would leave the house she would record every single one of my conversations and she would come back and she would ask me hey was you on the phone I'm like no, no. And she's like, um, well, yeah, you were. And I never knew how she knew. And then I just ended up snooping around her room one day and found a fucking tape

recorder. And there was like three tapes just laying there. And it was all of my conversations with him and just with, you know, my friends or with whoever. What a fucking weird bitch. Yeah. Yeah. And she only did that with me and like nobody like nobody else yeah she had a weird thing with you yeah um so you um so you ended up getting brought home from that situation when did you like what happens next like did you get pregnant or did you get into the industry I always call it the industry. I always call it the industry, but right. So after, you know, she grounded me, right. Um, she had a computer, it was like in the living room. And I remember, um, meeting a guy when I was like 12 years old and my grandma, you know, grandma, grandpa's house. Um, that was like my first ever like experience with any kind of like exchange for, you know, goods for money or

anything. Um, but I remember what, what do you mean by that? Like, what'd you guys do? I'm like, wait a second. We're 12 and we're exchanging goods for money. What did we do? When I was 12, I was on the internet and it was the first time, you know, first time was having a computer and the internet and stuff. So this is why it fucking scares me to death. We have a 13 year old on the internet. It just fucking scares the shit out of me, which actually Bailey wants to meet you. So i have got to get her over here so that she can meet you hold on you know what let me call kayla really quick and just tell her to bring her straight over here okay so sorry i should have done that before you got here i just know that

she will like be so mad if i don't it's it's crazy i never knew she was like a fan of you until i told her you were coming on the podcast she's like I love her and I was like thank god I was so happy though I was like yes like hey bugaluff um are you picking up Bailey right now shit I wanted her to meet Trashly because Trashly's here doing a podcast and I know that she really likes her. Um, maybe I could bring her down to meet her later on tonight or something. I'll bring her to her hotel just to say hi or something. Yeah. All right. Love you. Bye. Maybe we'll all just bring her down and we can meet in the lobby and she can just say hi to you

and hug you real quick. Um, okay. So 12 exchanging stuff for goods okay so I remember um being on one of like the Ohio Infinite chat rooms and I was talking to this one guy and he was god chat rooms yeah oh my god those were fun though they were I loved him I was such a hoe in the chat rooms I could be whoever I wanted to be, you know? Exactly. And I remember, you know, he was like 22 or 23 years old. And at first I did tell him I was 18. I was like, I'm 18. Men can tell. I don't care. If I see a 12 year old right now, I'm never going to look at a 12 year old boy. You know, like I just could never. Well, I did tell him a couple of days later that I was 12. Yeah. Before we met and and he was okay it seemed like he was more okay with the fact that I was 12 than 18 which was really weird yeah so we came up with like this you know plan to where

he would meet me at the mall like in the mall had you know the movie theater so he would meet me at the movies I would just tell my grandma I'm just meeting a friend so my grandma was the type to where she would have to meet every single person I was talking to or you know I'm that way with our kid yeah so which it should be like that yeah um and I remember telling her like well I'm meeting a friend she's like okay well I'm meeting this friend of yours I'm like oh god so I remember when she parked in the parking lot and I was walking in and I my heart was beating so fast I'm like she obviously she's gonna know you know um back then you couldn't like there was no way of me to know what he looked like because there was no way of putting pictures on the internet you know so he just described to me what he looked like um which

I knew it was him because he had a whole like beard and a mustache and you know he just I wonder if he was really 23 I don't know yeah he was probably like a real creep probably god but he had like a bouquet of flowers and I was like why the fuck did you do that typical pedophile move they always bring a gift for the kid yeah and my grandma like as soon as like he started walking up to me and she was like wait a minute who is this and I was like it's my friend and she was like oh no she's like who she's like how old are you and he was like oh I'm 20 23 and she's like do you know how old she is like she's only 12 only 12 years old. And he was like, Oh, she said she was 18, which I did at first, but he knew, right. So I just went along with it. And so she was like, okay, well, he told her like, I drove all the way from New York. And she was like, Okay, well,

since you did that, I'm gonna go ahead and let you watch the movie with her, but I'm coming along with you guys. So it was my grandma on one side me in the middle and then him on the left and I'm like this is so embarrassing and toward like um you know probably like 20 or 25 minutes into the movie he was like I'm going to the bathroom you know meet me there like he whispered that to me I'm like okay like my grandma's right here so I acted like I just didn't feel good I'm like I just gotta go to the bathroom she's like um she knew she was like I'm coming with you so she came with me and she stayed outside like because she just walked me to the women's bathroom she just assumed that he wasn't in there but he was in there he went in the women's bathroom he went to the

women's bathroom and it wasn't like no door on there either like you know there was like four or five stalls in there and but he was the only one in there at the time and I remember when I walked in there he motioned me to come back to where like the handicapped stall you know the bigger stall and so he's done those before yeah yeah and he was like well what do you want to do and I was like I don't know you know and he was like well have you done anything like this before I was like, I don't know, you know, and he was like, well, have you done anything like this before? I'm like, no. And, um, and he knew like, I never, at that point, like I've never like kissed a boy.

I never liked him anything. So he was like, okay, well, um, he was like, well, just, you know, stand there. Just don't, you know, don't move or anything. So he ended up putting his hands down my pants and then he put his other hand in his pants and I felt like that lasted for like three hours but it was probably only like maybe like five or ten minutes um and I remember when he was done you know he ends up you know going to his back pocket and, you know, giving me a $20 bill. And back then a $20 bill was, you know, I'm like, okay. Yeah. Back in our day, you could buy a house with $20. So I'm like, okay. So he was like, well, you know, I'll let you leave first. And then, you know,

cause my grandma was out there. So I leave and I was like, okay, well, I just want to, you know, go. And I guess she was like, well, what's wrong with you? Like there, I don't know. I don't know if maybe like my face was like red or just flustered. Yeah. She was, I was like, I just don't feel good. So I, you know, she was like, okay, we'll just go home. So I remember going home and, um, I had like a piggy bank and I put the $20 bill in there and, uh, I always got, you know, really good grades in school. So my grandpa would always pay me $20 for every a and $10 for every b so I had money in there yeah I just you know slipped in there they never knew I never told anybody about it so after that's a lot to hold in yeah for a little girl you know and amongst all the other shit you've had to hold in right and my friend

like my so-called friends you know they weren't like like me like their situations were different like yeah they had like a nice they had like real families yeah yeah like they had like nice families yeah mom and dad you know so I felt like I'm not gonna be able to tell them that because they're not gonna want to get it yeah you know so I remember after you know my um aunt coming to pick me up when I ran away with, you know, Paul, I remember after I was grounded, maybe for like two or three weeks, I'm like, you know, I'm, I just, at this point, I just despised her just because I felt like she was targeting me. And, you know, her daughter was not, you know, she was not you know she was doing drugs she was

popping pills she was doing all this stuff and I felt like you know she would just let her do what she did she let her do whatever she wants but if I even breathe the same air air as her like I would just you know get grounded or cussed out or something so I'm like okay well I'm just gonna get on the internet that's the only thing I could do was get on the internet so I got on the internet and I got on you know the Ohio Infinite chat room again um and worked out for you the first time yeah so that's exactly what I did I'm like you know I'm just going to you know talk to these guys or whatever so did you have the intention of getting into the industry I was just like hey I just want to make money or you just were like, I'm looking trolling for dick. So at first it was more so like, I'm just maybe looking for a hookup.

Right. Just to get my mind off of. Just affection. Yeah. Yeah. But then after like I was talking to my very, very first client and I was talking to him, you know, kind of talked to him on the phone you know god forbid but I would you know message him we at the time he had AOL messenger so we were

talking you know talking back and forth and um he was like you know what you can make like a lot of money doing what you're doing I said what am I doing exactly and he was like you can you know just meet guys off you know the chat rooms and everything. Was he a pimp? Well, so I don't know if obviously he had to be something. Yeah. To know a little bit of the game. Yeah. But he wasn't mine.

Like I never had a pimp or anything. Right. But he was like, okay, well, I told him my situation. He knew about my aunt, me being grounded. Like I couldn't do anything without my aunt being there. She would take me to school, pick me being grounded like I couldn't do anything without my aunt being there she would take me to school pick me up like I couldn't even ride the bus right so um he was like okay well I'll just come pick you up you know and you know I'll just pick you up right when she drops you off at school and I'll you know drop you back off at school before she comes pick you up I'm like okay so that's what he did uh she drops me off at school before she comes, picks you up. I'm like, okay. So that's what he did. Uh, she drops me off at school. And I remember as I didn't even go to first, you know,

first period. Um, and you were 14 at this time. Yep. Okay. And I had a lot happen in that year. Yeah. And I had a note that I, you know, just wrote and I put my aunt's signature and I just said, you know, I had a doctor's appointment or whatever, and I'll be back afterwards. So I, you know, put her signature on it and they didn't question me at all the first couple of times. And then, uh, she said the first couple of times, so many times in like a month period. But I remember when I met him, he was like this older black man. And, you know, I was, you know, kind of scared, you know, because he was older. Like when I say older, he was probably like 50s. Yeah, he had definitely been in the game before, I'm sure.

And so I remember, you know, he drove back to his house and it wasn't even that far. It's probably like, you know, maybe 15 minutes from the school. And I remember walking into his house and I can just still picture his house even till this day. And I don't know why I can remember stuff like this, but. It was a big moment in your life. You were scared too. So you probably were like super aware. Yeah.

And I remember like we were talking for like maybe like two hours before we did anything and he was telling me like you know you can you know chart he was telling me like you know um tell me like what to do what not to do basically so I remember him telling me a couple things he told me the first thing was to never, ever do any services with black men. That's what he told me. Yep. And he's a black man himself. So I'm like, I'm confused, you know, so I didn't say anything.

I'm like, okay. And he was like, um, don't exchange any, um, you know, don't services, anything for any kind of drugs. Don't do drugs with your clients. Um, yeah, he was for sure a pimp. Yeah. Yeah. And he, uh, you know, and he was like, always make sure you get the money in your hand. He's like, I don't care, you know, whatever you guys can have a conversation, but before you remove yourself from that conversation, make sure you had that money in your hand. So, um, and that's what he did,

you know, to me, he gave me, you know, the money, I think it was like maybe like $150. And, um, and he told me, he's like, you know, you can charge a lot more just because you're young and you know, you don't have much experience, you know, like you're, um um I don't know green yeah so and I'm like okay well I remember he was the one who introduced me to I think like my next like three or four clients um and they were you know older white men and the fact that pedophilia runs this deep is just insane yeah and they're just you know these are probably like married men with families with little girls of their own right yeah right makes you wonder and I know like you know even and he looked just like Samuel L Jackson that's how I remember yeah like

he looks just like him so um and he was married like I remember seeing pictures of his wife and kids on the wall and you know and I asked him like is that your wife and he was like well yeah he's like also he was like I remember him telling me after I asked him about his wife you know he was like don't ever ask a client like you know about their family and stuff I'm like they'll just offer it up for you anyways yeah it's crazy how honest these men are when they're paying for their time yeah shit you don't want to know you're like okay cool can we just get this over with like I do not give a shit about Matilda at home and I remember like that went on like for the first month like after I had that first initial conversation with him he dropped me off you know back at school with my aunt I was riding in the

back seat I wouldn't even ride in the front seat with my aunt because I just did not like her so I was in the back seat and I kept thinking like ride in the front seat with my aunt because I just did not like her. So I was in the back seat and I kept thinking like, I could just make enough money just to hurry up and save up whatever I have to, and then move out. So that was my initial plan. Obviously that did not work. Um, because I, you know, he tells me you can charge this much, you know, don't charge anything less than, you know, 150 or like 200, you know, but then like when you're in that moment, you know, and these guys are like, well, I only got like 40, I only got $60. Like, Oh, I know. Okay. Well I did all, you know, came over here. You came to pick me up. Like, I'm not going to leave without nothing, you know? So you take

what you get. So, um, it wasn't much money at all. And I remember after maybe like the third or fourth client he introduced me to, um, that's when I found out that I was pregnant. So I, I remember like the last client saying something, he was like, Oh, looks like your stomach is getting a little big. Cause at the time I was, you know wasn't small but I was you know in shape or whatever played softball and you know did kickboxing and everything don't you love how clients point out shit like that and it's like they're like the most out of shape bald motherfucker yes oh my god so great like they want to pick us apart I've had so many tricks that were like that I had one that was a sugar daddy who actually was like best friends with Donald Trump if I said his name people would know who he is and

he would tear me apart he paid for me to get my body done oh my god yeah like they're evil like some sugar daddies and tricks are like really it's crazy they like to abuse women but in like a weird way yeah like all sorts of ways but that's one of them. Right. So he said your tummy was getting big. Yeah. And I was like, uh, I didn't think anything of it. And I didn't, pregnancy never crossed my mind because after, you know, going to children's hospital, getting that supposedly rape test, my aunt made a doctor appointment the very next day and she got me on the Depo shot. They did a pregnancy test and it was negative.

Wow. next day and she got me on the depo shot they did a pregnancy test and it was negative so what you know I was getting the depo shot every three months and I remember going into it was for my third depo shot and I remember you know going in there and um you know I felt something move in my stomach but I didn't know what the hell it was and you know my aunt's like oh it's you know, I felt something move in my stomach, but I didn't know what the hell it was. And, you know, my aunt's like, Oh, it's, you know, probably a disease. Like that's what the fuck she thought, like a disease, you know, of course she would think that. So she was hoping. Yeah. That's exactly what, yeah. Just so she could hold it over your head. Yeah. And I remember the doctor asking me like all of these questions, like, is your boobs getting bigger or, you know, they hurting or, you know, or do you have like a weird appetite like all this stuff and yeah like my boobs grew from like a b to like a double d

cup in like a month wow so yeah but I just thought like I was just getting older and just yeah you know blessed or something yeah I didn't think anything of it she's like I'm not gonna complain about these knockers so he was like okay we're just gonna take a test and my my grandma was with me at the time so I remember my grandma saying oh my god and he was like no we're just gonna rule it out we just have to do that I don't think she is we just gotta rule it out so you know I take a test and I remember him you know he comes back in and he throws his folder on the on the um table and he was like you're fucking pregnant and I'm like oh my god I started crying and my grandma's like well you know where we're gonna

go right did you know who it was yeah was it a client or was it your uh baby your for your yeah so I knew that it was where was he during all this turning the tricks and stuff like that actually I think either he either went to he was out on bond okay he did to me so I think at the time he was either like in Michigan okay so he stayed away from you yeah just so he couldn't get in trouble because there was like a an order for him to stay away like I can't put that order out and um so when they told me that I was pregnant I just immediately knew like okay it has to be him like obviously like I did have sex and everything afterwards but like I just had sex like within a month and there's something moving in my stomach like that doesn't add up so yeah he was like well she may be way too far along before you know

for an abortion so he measured me and he was like she's, she may be way too far along before, you know, for an abortion. So he measured me and he was like, she's measuring at about seven months. And I'm like, there ain't no way. So that happened maybe the first time you had sex? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. The very first time. So I got pregnant the first time I had sex, too.

See, that's crazy. I had an abortion, though. It fucked me up for the rest of my life. But it's another fucking podcast. Right. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. And I, I remember, you know, that doctor, he was like, well, we're just gonna make a doctor appointment. Um, you know, with an OB. So we go to the OB and the very next morning and I was

measuring at a little over, I don't know, I was pushing like 30 weeks and it was a boy and I was so devastated. Cause I remember saying like a couple of it was a boy and I was so devastated because I remember saying a couple weeks later a couple weeks prior that I did not want any kids and I didn't want any boys you know I mean you're still really fucking young too dude yeah and just suffered so much trauma you know I'm sure children shouldn't even be on a 14 year old's radar right but we were just so eager to grow up too yeah because of our circumstances that's so fucking true and I I remember coming back and you know it was so funny after that appointment my aunt just started being nice to me and like she you know was buying I want to

punch this bitch in the face like oh I did that you're good good because she is a cunt okay what's her name Trisha Tr. Tricia. Most Tricia's are assholes. Sorry for all the Tricia's that listen to me. I love you guys. But most of you are dickheads. But I remember like she she did buy everything you know, for my son. And she was looking forward to me having him. And I just wasn't like I felt like I was just a baby yeah and every time I would express myself to my aunt or to my grandma or to anybody like I was just this horrible person like I shouldn't have you know I shouldn't think anything other than oh I can't wait to be a mom like I you know they and they were very expressive of that like well I did it when I was 16 I was 17

and well I'm 14 there's a big difference yeah there's a big difference and I was raped like I did not you know there's a big difference yeah there's just resentment there yeah and I remember after I had my son um I tried. It's okay. This is hard. I mean, you've got a crazy story, Mama. So talking about stuff is probably still really painful. Yeah.

You know, I tried to take care of him. You were a baby. You've got to stop being so hard on yourself for that. Nobody taught you how to be a mom, you know? Yeah. That's not your fault. And then for two years, you know, I tried to take care of him. I tried to, I did get a, you know, a job. I remember working at, you know, Burlington Co factory and I, I was still in school. So I would go to school,

come, come home, go straight to work, come, you know, home from work, go to bed and do it all over again. And so my aunt would watch my son all the time. Well, then, you know know she started you know drinking really heavily and then um she just wasn't acting like she was just going like completely crazy so um I remember coming home one day my son he was just learning how to walk and he had on you know a dirty. And I was so pissed off at my aunt. I'm like, what the? And she was completely wasted. So I grabbed my son, changed his diaper. And my aunt was just in my ear. Like, you're just going to be a piece of shit.

Just like your brothers. You're not going to amount to anything. And I told her, I'm like, just shut up. You know, like when she gets into that mood, you know, like we just know either we don't say anything to her. Or we just tell her, shut the fuck up. And then she'll just shut up and go to her room. You know either we don't say anything to her or we just tell her shut the fuck up and then she'll just shut up and go to her room you know but she wasn't going to her room so she just was following me around the house and I remember walking into the kitchen I told her I said Trisha get the fuck away from me because you're going to end up making me hit you

don't please don't do that and so she just like you're just a piece of fucking shit you're a piece of shit mom so I remember I had the I had the refrigerator refrigerator door open and she kept calling me a piece of shit mom because I would go out on the weekends all the time I did not want to be here a kid at all but she encouraged it she told me I want you to go out. I want you to experience this teenage life. And don't worry about Cameron. He's at home with me. I'm taking care of him. I want you to, you know, still be a kid.

That's exactly what she said. But every single time I would go out, she would always talk shit. And she was talking shit that day. And I was like, just shut the fuck up. I'm like, please get away. So she just kept at it. And I shut the refrigerator door. And I ended up end up you know punching her in the fucking night good and she called the police thinking that I was going to get arrested like she really wanted me

to get arrested and the police already knew who she was they knew my family because they would come out so many times because she would always be on a rage right and so either one of the kids would call the police on her or her husband would so they knew her you know they didn't even have to ask her social at that time like they knew just knew um so they told me like well if your grandma's willing to take you we'll just have you and your son just leave with her so she's like well yeah you know so I go moving with my me and my son moving how old are you at this time I was 16 okay and so we moved in with my grandma I was you know drinking all the time not all the time but you know a lot yeah and I was smoking weed um and but I was doing it with

my aunt she was supplying everything and so as soon as I moved in with my grandma, she calls children's services and tells children's services, you know, that I'm not taking care of my son and I'm going out all the time and I have drugs in my system. And weed back then is not how it is today. Right. Weed back then is like. Was a huge deal. Yeah.

Yeah. So I remember, you know, CPS coming out. And I'm trying to think. After that incident. Okay. After me punching my aunt or whatever, I got on probation. Or either I was already on probation. I think I was on probation when I was like 13 or 14 before

I was pregnant because I wasn't going to school. I refused to go to school. And so truancy. And so that's what it was. So I was already on probation because I remember a probation officer also coming to, and it's because of the truancy. So anyway, um, the CPS worker asked me like, you know, if we test you, are you going to come up dirty? And I was like, dirty for what? And she's like, well, anything. And I was like, well, for weed, I'm like, yeah, but that's nothing. And she's like, well, take a drug test. So I did take a drug test and it was positive for weed. And they took my son. They're like, no, like no like you know you can't be smoking weed you know and I'm like it's just fucking weed so they ended up um at the time you know they

placed my son with my grandma but my aunt was trying to get my son like she was like no he can come here you know my grandma you know my mom is just really old she can't take care of him blah blah so they did a background check on everybody in the household and um a year before the incident happened with me punching my aunt she had sexual relations with a friend of mine and my cousin and which happened to be my son you know paul um his cousin and he was 15 16 years old at the time the aunt is just a fucking mess dude geez she finds out she calls the police and my aunt gets in trouble and she has to register as a sex offender for 20 years finally some justice was served to her yeah yeah and so when you know they did a background check on everybody in the house she's a sex offender no you know cameras not allowed around you at all

unsupervised so my grandma just wasn't you know wasn't ready to raise another kid she just wasn't you know and i can't really blame her you know know, blame myself, you know? So, um, there was more than a few times that she let my aunt alone with them. And I don't know who called, I don't know how they found out, but they did. Yeah. And so they ended up taking my son and placing him into, you know, foster care. Did his father not want anything to do with him? So at the time when all this was happening, his dad ended up getting, um, sentenced to four and a half years for what he did to me. And then also like, you know, drug charges and all that stuff. Um, because when my aunt got busted for sleeping, you know, with that kid, which was his cousin,

sleeping, you know, with that kid, which was his cousin, um, Paul was there in the home. Like she literally moved out of her nice, you know, $350,000 home and got like this little inky home with this 15 year old, 15, 16 year old kid. Um, and my son's dad and, um, you know, they SWAT came and hit them. And so there was Coke and there was just, you know they SWAT came and hit them and so there was coke and there was just you know stolen yeah she just got strung out yeah yeah and so um he ended up getting sentenced to four and a half years so he was in prison at this time so when he when my son went to foster care I don't know how I got in contact with his mom Paul's mom I don't know if I reached out or I don't know if she reached out to me because Paul somehow found out what was going on. I don't know. Um, but I remember us talking and she was like, well, I can, you know, take him. Cause at this

point I was telling her that I can't do it. Like, I feel like if I continue raising him, I'm going to fuck his life up. That's how I felt. Either I want to fuck his life up or my aunt's going to. And I just, I just don't want that. And she's like, yeah, you know, I'll be more than happy, you know, to take care of him. And at the time, I thought that was what was best for him. Yeah. I didn't really look at it as well yours you raised a son who raped me right you know I didn't look at it that way then you know because I was thinking

like well he was a grown man when this happened she can't you can't control what your grown children do um I don't obviously my views are totally different now right well I mean you were a kid yeah you didn't know any better you know, but you had nobody to help you and guide you that wasn't already traumatized or in some weird shit of their own, you know? So you were just a product of your surrounding. Yeah. And I remember, you know, telling the CPS worker, telling the courts, I remember how to go to court and tell them what I wanted. And, um um but right before I signed over my rights Paul had already signed over his rights to her so I remember the judge and CPS solely telling her that you are not allowed to have this child around Paul like that's just not we're not that not negotiable. Like he's not allowed around him. Right. Um,

she agreed, she initially agreed. And so as soon as I signed over my rights, that's when, you know, obviously she just didn't give a shit. Did whatever she wanted to do. Yeah. Um, I remember maybe a year later, um, well it had to be maybe like a year and a half later or something um I had gotten pregnant with my daughter my oldest daughter I had her she was like maybe like two or three months who's the father um so it was just this random guy he wasn't a client or anything right he was just this random guy were you still working during this whole process and you were still turning tricks and doing all that even while you had a regular job at burlington coat factory so i kept that job maybe for like a month right okay like that i just couldn't do it no i get it once you start

making money like that it's so hard to work for anybody not only that yeah and you know i just don't like somebody telling me what to do yeah same it's an Aquarius trait yeah I'm the same way I'm like um I ended up quitting and I ended up getting like my first I had a client pay for my first apartment but it was only like four months of rent so he paid for like the deposit first four months of rent and after the four months like I lost it because I didn't fucking keep up with it yeah because I'm just an idiot so you're a kid again you didn't nobody taught you how to fucking be responsible um so during all of this still doing dealing with all the personal trauma and all that's that stuff were you just only smoking weed when did you start getting into like the heavier shit

so I started like popping pills um right before I got pregnant but probably shortly after I gave up my you know son okay I gave up rights to him um because I got pregnant with my my daughter shortly after that but at this point I was already popping pills because I remember when I found out while you were pregnant. No. So I remember, um, when I found out I was pregnant with her, I was already, you know, addicted at this point. But I remember the day that I found out I was pregnant, I, I had a whole, I had a whole bottle of Percocets I just got. And I remember throwing out the window and I just stopped then it was easy for me to stop back then well you had a purpose yeah so I remember you know after um like her dad just you know he he's just one of them he has like nine kids with like seven different women wow

he pays child support though only because he works right but like he doesn't have no relationship with her or anything right um and I remember um like she was at this at this point during my pregnancy um I had you know got my GED and I was in nursing school so um I remember I was sitting in a class and they were talking about calling in prescriptions, you know, nurses and medical systems can call in prescriptions for their patients. Yeah. And you can only call in like Vicodin, you know, like Percocets, you had to have like a prescription that I'm like, okay, so I had an aunt who did this. So I totally know what you're talking about. So I'm like, okay. So during my pregnancy, I couldn't, like, I mean, I could, you know, still, you know,

prostituted, but I just didn't want to. Right. So I decided to, you know, call in scripts for people. And start flipping scripts. Yeah. I used to sell pills all the time. I would get my pills and sell them. I blew war tabs for $5 a pill. Motherfuckers, what you want? I got you. Or the yellow perks for 10. What do you want to do? That's exactly, that's exactly how it was. And after I gave birth to her, I started calling them in for myself, you know? And, um, I remember, you know, the last time that I see my son was like,

she was two months old and, um, Paul ended up, he got out of prison and he calls me. He's like, Hey, do you want to see Cameron? I was like, well, yeah. And, um, he's like, okay, well, I'll come pick you up. You got to see him up here. So he picks me and my daughter up and we go to his house. As soon as i walk into his house there was like three kids there okay i want to say kids they're probably like 12 13 years old there's two guys and a girl and or no there was two girls and a guy and so i'm like who are these you know who who are they and he's like oh they're just my friends blah blah i was like friends my friends he tried to play it off to

where they're 18 they're of age right but you can just i can tell yeah those are young you know like mental capacity they're they're young so for sure he leaves like a pic you know either cameron up at school or the bus stop or something so i asked one of the girls i said do you have an id on you like i'm just curious you know because I felt super fucking uncomfortable they were drinking smoking weed doing other shit and she was like no we don't have an ID but he told us to tell you that we're 18 and I'm like how old are you and she's like well I can't really say I'm like okay but you already said enough right well come to find out. She I remember hearing like I stayed the night there and she was on the phone with Paul. And I remember her telling Paul, I'm pregnant or I think I'm pregnant. And he was like, well, you better tell, you know, tell your family that you told me that you were 18.

You know, tell them that I didn't know that you were either he said so Paul's just a pedophile yeah yeah absolutely so um after I just put two and two together and I just you know Cameron came I tried to spend time with him you know like I fixed him dinner I remember fixing him two hot dogs and some macaroni and cheese and he ate like I just felt super uncomfortable with those fucking kids there. And I was like, man, I was like, can they just leave or something? Like, I'm just confused why they're even here. And he was like, he thought that I was mad, like jealous or something. I said, no, dude, like what has nothing to do with it. And, um, I'm like, look, you're just going to take me back at this point. Like, I just, I don't want nothing to do with whatever, whatever the hell's going on here. And like, I just don't, there's something not right.

So he gets pissed and he's like, okay, well then let's just go then. So me, I loaded, you know, my kids up Cameron and you know, my daughter. And, um, I told him on our way down there, I'm like, well, I'm just going to take Cameron with me. And he was like, you can't fucking do that. You already signed your rights over. And if you do that, I'm just going to call the police and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, call the police with underage kids in your house. Right. So I'm like, okay, well, at this point, like I was already like, I had already gotten caught for, you know, doing my little pill rendezvous so I was like you know already about to get sentenced and I just knew what the time what kind of time I was looking at and I were you a full

blown addict at this time or yeah yeah okay just pills though nothing just pills yeah did you ever do harder drugs um Not until like 2016. Okay, gotcha. So did you get sentenced to time for the pill thing? So I got sentenced to seven mandatory years. Wow. Yeah. I had, they.

They threw the book at you. Yeah. So it was, I think like four different counties, but they, I called it a shit ton of scripts. I was going to say, you're like kingpinning over there because my aunt got a slap on the wrist and like her nurse's license taken away yeah yeah that's what they told me they told me that I couldn't you know because they knew that I was in nursing school like I couldn't finish it yeah license like no nothing so so you did your seven years I did my seven years what's seven years and Was it prison or was it like juvie?

It was prison. Okay. So what is that like? So I remember right before I got rode out to prison, people were telling me how prison was. It's not what they were telling me. I think they were just talking shit, trying to scare me or something. But it's literally like a whole like gay community that's just what it is right on campus everybody's just munching carpets yeah I mean you got to do some

to pass the time and like I didn't have any issues in prison like I you know worked I had a routine I stayed sober during prison and are drugs pretty rampant in prison. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. It's really bad, but also you have to have a lot of money too, you know? So, um, and I didn't have that obviously, like I lived off of $20. Thankfully though. Yeah, that that's true. Um, but I lived off of $20 a month. Well, actually 18 cause they took $2 for my, you know, fines. Um, but I, during those years, I didn't have not one single person come visit me. No, nobody wrote, you know, wrote me a letter. Who had your daughter during this time? My, um, other aunt. So not my aunt, Tricia, my aunt, no, but, um, my other aunt, she was married to my uncle years ago, but they got

divorced years ago, but I still consider her an aunt. I still talk to my uncle years ago, but they got divorced years ago. But I still consider her an aunt. I still talk to her, you know, every now and then today. So she agreed to take care of her while I was in prison. She said I have to have guardianship so I can get her into school and take her to the doctor and all this stuff. She's like, but as soon as you get out, I'll give her right back to you. So seven years goes by and you get out, I get out. And, um, you know, I was in a halfway house, you know, for four months, I immediately started doing

prostitution again, immediately. You just go back to what, you know, back. Yeah. And they weren't drug testing you not, well, they were doing random drug tests, but, um, for some reason, they never drug tested me. Um, if they never drug tested me um if they did drug tested me then I was clean and they just never you know right did anything about it afterwards um but that you know back then you know the halfway house is literally like a yeah legal trap house yeah what it is yeah um when you were turning tricks or you weren't doing it online anymore where were you finding your tricks so when I was in the halfway house um I was in this program called impact so I would leave Monday through Friday from like eight to four so um prostitution was really big on the street that my halfway house was on gotcha like there was so

so you were turning turning tricks like just from in cars and stuff like that yeah I would have like an hour like either from like 12 to 1 or 1 to 2 break for lunch and I would make some money you know hurry up because I at this point I was already you know doing pills again so I needed money for pills yeah um my hat goes off to the girls who would do the car tricks we caught we in Vegas we call them track hoes because they would walk the track you know and I hung out on the track a lot just because it was low-key and I've always felt comfort in like um places that were just like um seedy you know like I've just always so I would wait for calls for my because I used to work for services right so um and i never had a pimp either um so i would like wait for my calls like on the track

and i some of the coolest chicks i ever met were the girls who worked the track and they've given me so much game oh yeah like you guys are a different breed of woman you guys are not you're fucking brave as shit you know like to even just get in a car with somebody and just like, it's just crazy. Yeah. So turning tricks on, you know, on your, was it a lunch break? Yeah. Did you ever have anything like crazy happen to you? Yeah. So my first ever, like ever incident anything was um okay so I'm trying to resort right back to that time because I knew you was going to ask me about that when did Dave come along if you guys watch any of her tiktoks you know that Dave makes a daily appearance and he's got some really fucking weird requests but you know what I relate to everything you say.

Like shit you say, I start laughing because I'm like, yep, done that. Yep, been there. Yep, done that. You know, like they don't realize how crazy some of these tricks get. Yeah. Like they're buying your time to live out a fantasy. And some of their fantasies are fucking crazy. Yes.

But it became normal. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's like, oh, you did that? I'm like, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, for sure. I'm confused. Yes. It's, but it became normal. Yeah. Oh yeah. He's like, Oh, you did that? I'm like, yeah. Oh yeah. No, for sure. I'm confused. Yeah. But, um, I remember going to, going to lunch. Um, and I met this guy, he, I always saw his car out there, you know, in front. So I knew he was a trick. So, um, I went up to his car and, um, he, I, you know, went to the passenger seat. We exchanged money. He gave me money and he was like really nice. He drove maybe like 10 minutes down

the road. And then I was like, okay, well, I gotta be back by a certain time, you know, cause I, my lunch break, he's like, okay, that's fine. So after we were done, um, he started driving back, but he missed, you know, his turn. turn I was like wait a minute uh you're supposed to turn right right here and he was he didn't say nothing he didn't say nothing he just kept going so I was about to reach for the handle and there was no fucking handle on the inside of the door and I was like what why what the fuck is happening right now and I didn't even realize there was no fucking handle right there and so I remember he just kept he didn't say one word to me like his complete like his whole demeanor just changed so he ended up going to I don't know where the hell it was but it was out

in the middle of nowhere all I remember was like there were storage, you know, storage units. And stay tuned to next week's episode to see what happens in part two of dumb blonde podcast.