Dumb Blonde - Viking Barbie: Hot and Healing

Episode Date: August 9, 2023

Is there anything Viking Barbie can't do? She's a rapper, singer, gorgeous vixen dominating Only Fans, and she even seems to live a parallel life as Bunnie. This week, she jumps on the mic in the new studio to talk about her healing journey, what it's like having millions of people interested in your life, realizing her value, and how she and her bf Aaron met. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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additional taxes fees and restrictions apply see mint mobile for details is this thing on bonnie who used to be a former sex worker and now hosts the podcast dumb blonde most little girls grow up wanting to be doctors and lawyers and shit. And I was like, I want to be super hot, make a lot of fucking money and be a rock star's wife. That was my goal as a child. And here we are. What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of the Dumb Blonde podcast. But we are in the West Coast studio today.

And I thought to myself, I was like, who would I want to be my first guest on the podcast in the new studio and it would have to be one of my dear sweet friends. I like to consider her like one of my best friends. Viking motherfucking Barbie is in the house baby. Hello. Hello. No I'm really not a talking to a microphone now. Yes. Yeah. She did a podcast last week and she was looking like Ricky Bobby. Yeah. Try to chase the microphone with her mouth. So for those of you who don't know who Viking Barbie is, because there are some people out there who don't know who your beautiful ass

is and who think we're the same person. Yeah. This is who you guys think is always me. She did a song with Jay. She redid creep with jay she redid creep with jay and she's the hot blonde that's in the video she's brunette now so if you're watching this video just picture her with blonde hair and it'll all make sense bunny beat me up and told me i had to dye my hair because it was her thing yeah i was like don't don't be like the

parrot no i'm just kidding i'm just kidding inside joke guys. So tell people who you are. I am scholar, a gentleman. No, I am. Well, getting over being sick. So excuse my man voice. But yeah, just I sing. I do comedy, Shakespearean things, you know, everything. She doesn't know what I am anymore. I know, like you're just such a smorgasb know, everything. I don't even know what I am anymore. I know, like you're just such a smorgasbord of everything, but I've always loved that about you because that's how I am. Like you can't put us into a box. I hate being in a box.

Besides being insanely beautiful, you have a great personality. You can fucking wrap your ass off, which most people don't know that, but you can also sing too. Hold on one second. Can you see the fly now? I see the fly. I've been watching it. It's so distracting.

Okay. Um, you can wrap your ass off. You can sing your ass off. You fucking are hilarious. You do these skits on Instagram. You're huge on Instagram. How many fucking followers do you have on Instagram? On one account, I think it's like 11.3 and the other one's 3 million.

And then so altogether like 13 million. Yeah. Um, it's a lot of motherfuckers checking out your titties. Yeah. Um, I do that as well. Yes. I show those as well. She's definitely in the adult industry.

And if you guys are not subscribed to her fucking OF, you guys need to go shout out your OF real quick. It is actually vikingdoll.private. I know, vikingdoll.vip. And the reason it's vikingdoll is because Mattel came for me. They sent you like a cease and desist, right? They sent me a cease and desist. And then they went and we didn't desist.

So they ended up going to Only only fans and making them shut me down which is kind of shitty because there's actually somebody on there using my name there's a lot of girls yeah and i'm like hey why is it me you know like bloody favoritism no but i i mean nikki minaj built her whole fucking brand off barbie yeah but she has a deal with them same thing happened to her i found out believe me that was the first thing, you know, not that I'm on that level to where I should like, well, Nicki Minaj, you know, like she's like, bitch. Um, but yeah, so I don't know. They, they definitely came for me for that. They came for me with something else. Uh, one of my other like merchandise things. So when I do merch, I would have to like figure out like how to get around that, just sign Viking or something like that. Yeah. You can't do the

Barbie anymore. It's crazy. I hate that. So I think what is really cool about a lot of the girls that are in the industry, um, that people don't know, you know, like you have this crazy story of recovery and redemption and just pretty much like being a phoenix that rises from the ashes so can we like take it all the way back like let's talk about dad let's talk about where you grew up let's talk about this is where she barbara walters my guys the trailer park barbara walters baby let's go um well you know i've uh risen from the ashes multiple times i guess because you know you think you're like done but it always kind of like comes back around and you're just like it never ends you know we obviously know that um I was born in Texas uh San Antonio Texas which actually just got a house

over there too um my mom was a stripper and uh my dad was, he was a bodybuilder, but he was like a, I want to say career criminal as well. You know, he, I kind of, I guess I've described the story before, but, um, he did, you know, a lot of wild things. My mom helped and then, um, accomplices, yeah. Partners in crime. And I think she, well, she had me around 19 so you know it was like a pretty young you know wild family and I got older um we moved around a lot they kind of split up because he was dealing with some stuff with like the mob and she didn't want um me to be involved with that basically what had happened was the um CIA or whoever was dealing with the case came and and she heard him say like oh they better not come looking for me because they might find me and like it was when he was like supposed to get

on the stand for some stuff and my mom was like yeah we're gonna go like this is my exit yeah so we left for a while and then I went to go stay at some family's house and then my dad came and got me. We moved to California and my mom was gone for a while and then she came back and my dad started doing movies. So he ended up being in like Batman and Robin bulletproof. Okay. But don't blow over that. What was your dad in Batman?

Uh, he was Bane. Yep. She's always like, yeah, but he did Batman and I'm like, no, no, no. Let's talk about it yeah he was bane and batman and robin the um one with all the veins um yeah so that was pretty cool experience um and yeah where was i so we're talking about dad dad started doing movies you guys moved to cali yeah and then um and then he passed away around the time I was around 12 I want actually I want to say like 11 and then uh my mom and I ended up moving to the valley and she remarried and then she like stuff happened with that she remarried again so there

was like two relationships and then I ended up at around 17 like running away from home and um when did the drug addiction start a little parched she gets like me whenever she starts talking about her childhood she gets really uncomfortable you see that well she's not the one who's talking about her childhood no i have to do it too and i literally do the same thing you do. I start getting like all uncomfortable. Yeah, because I'm like a sensitive hoe now, you know, with all this stuff. Yeah, we're going to talk about all that because we're both on healing journeys. And Lord, help us.

Yeah, it's like, how am I supposed to like mask up? You know what I mean? And like you just berate him. Yeah. Paracade through this. Yeah. So, yeah, I. Where was I? Dad passed away at 11. Yeah. and like you just berate him yeah arcade through this yeah um so yeah i uh where was i dad passed away at 11 yeah so my mom ended up remarrying a few times i ran away from home which i think that happened with you too um i was like 17 now our lives are so parallel it's crazy like it's

just like yeah like definitely like in symbiosis and like a lot of ways, even even the relationship we have, which is kind of weird to me, the same age difference, the same kid, the same like it's just like a very interesting thing. So, yeah, I basically ran away. I was with some boy, you know, because that's all that I wanted to do was live in a romance novel. Me too. Yeah.

So boys were always my fucking weakness yeah I mean I wish I would have banged around a little bit um just saying I was thinking about that I'm like man I could have banged some beautiful ones and then I was just like in one for eight years you know and no offense to him but you know he was cute at 18 or 19 but you know they get old long in the tooth long in the tooth i hate it some of the dudes i like back out i'm like how are you so bald now like it's just so crazy what happened yeah no he doesn't see this i feel bad um what happened but yeah we were basically like using partners um but like just like it was fun at first you guys were using what using partners because like we

were we kind of met in like this I was in a relationship that was normal we met he took me away from that relationship we ran away we're doing a bunch of coke we were staying in like seedy motels I was stripping with a fake ID which I was kind of doing that but when I was like I want to say the first time I stripped was like at 15. So like it was kind of that kind of relationship and it was all a blast. Like it was really fun in the beginning. Don't you ever think back like to childhood or not even childhood, but those years and you're just like, man, if I could just be that fucking carefree again. Yeah.

Like I didn't have any anxiety back then. It was like just living my life. Like how, how was it to wake up normal with no barely any trauma except for when my parents put me through the stuff mama used to make you're right um yeah we just kept going you know you just keep making more trauma yeah you just traumatize the fuck out of yourself as you grow up yeah um yeah so we mean it was fun and then it was fun until it wasn't fun and usually that i mean it was really when the opiates came in that it wasn't fun anymore because how old was

that i was i want to say i started doing them around 19 um and it was still kind of fun yeah and then because i was doing like painkillers you know and like lorderves yeah but i started like then i started kind of like slanging from my house instead of going to the strip club and dancing and I had someone doing like being a runner for me and uh she would come and like drop it off and pick it up and like literally have pictures of me naked in my bed just sitting there like a godfather with my coke bags like just waiting like I just got super lazy you know like all i did was sit in bed drink take pills do coke eat it was fucking fun but i used to eat so much when i was an addict and not even think twice about it domino's was my go-to thin crust pizza with their

fucking chicken nuggets oh my god yeah i mean you that's the thing i just became like this like shut in yeah you know what i mean because i didn't really want to leave. I just wanted to be high. It was pretty awesome. Yeah. And, and, but then it's like over time you just kind of start everything erodes, you know,

like the relationships erode the, you know, and then this relationship that was so great, he starts stealing Coke from you secretively. And like, I, and then you're like, wait a minute.

Like I thought I could trust this person. And there's all kinds of other weird shit that happened that I won't put him on blast for. um please do unfortunately I've only been with like three dudes in my whole life so everyone be like oh that's that one you know yeah oh shit he's like remarried um his new wife's watching this right she's like honey I never knew yeah oh she knows I bet um but yeah never um yeah so it's just um it it got like really like crazy you know and like there's just the strip club lifestyle and stuff like that um I started dancing at parties that was like that made it even easier for me not to have to like work too hard you know what I mean

so it's like I go a couple hours a week and I make a couple thousand dollars And like I was not a hustler Like I'm a hustler now when I got sober But like I know you were a hustler Bitch I was not a hustler I was with drugs like I would do what I had to do to get high And I would like sell them Yeah to maintain your lifestyle Yeah when it came to like stripping

They would just be like Hey you want to dance? Oh no? Alright I would make a hundred dollars bitch like at the club like it was bad and I was only like 19 like there was a problem right but once I started dancing it was like they were at my um you know at my will you know it's like I'm the only stripper you got you better pay me right it worked out really well because I didn't have to hustle. But yeah, so that all transpired. And then I met a girl.

We ended up, you know, hitting it off. I was like dating a girl while I was with this guy. And she was a heroin addict. And I ended up being sick one time. And I just had to like not be sick. And she was like, oh, I don't want to give you. How many pills were you taking a day? The first round, I was taking 40 pills a day.

But God, Norcos and then doing like probably about a gram of Coke a day. But I got clean and then I went and relapsed again. Wow. And then I was doing less. 40 pills a day. I couldn't, I would just get sick. So most I could do was like two or three a day and that was my addiction. But 40 pills, I, no wonder you couldn't shit. Yeah. I couldn't shit off two or three pills. Shitting was but a dream. It was like, it was the thing that, you know, the wealthy only got to afford. I was like, um, so yeah, I, um, so you got sick one day. only got to afford i was like um so yeah i um so you got

sick one day i got sick and i was like hey can i use like your shit you know it's the same shit you know what i mean she's like no it's not you're not gonna take this kind of thing and um i was like yeah like just hook it up like i gotta go to work um give me a hit like one hit and i'll fucking go and she ended up like i ended up talking her into it and you I I don't believe that talking her into that yeah and she still feels bad about it but um you know that's a whole nother thing we ended up breaking up over like a lot of you know my mom going through my trash there's a lot there's a lot to unpack right um but yeah so you know so I took it and I I went and that's when I was like, OK, well, now I can't get high on the pills. What was it like hitting heroin for your first time?

I honestly didn't like it. It was too heavy. It was dirty feeling. It didn't have that like crisp, like, you know, if you like painkillers, like that crisp, like euphoric. When it first hits you and your eyes change color because it feels so good. Yeah. And you can just clean the house. Like, that's how I feel.

I get energy from it. Heroin's not like that. You're just like, you know, chin to chest. You're out and you're just basically heavy, numbing. Yeah. And I didn't want to do it. I was like, this stuff sucks. I remember saying that.

And then like when I went to, you know, go take pills, it was not working. And I was like, OK, this sucks. Oh, no. So just from doing it one time, fucked up your whole, like fucked up my system. And then like trying to take it away. Even after one time,

I swear it was like the, either the worst come down or you're already feeling symptoms. I can't figure it out. Like it was horrible. That's terrible. Um, so yeah, I started doing that shit and I was like,

and it eventually start liking it, you know, but it's's like you're almost liking it for what you think it is it's kind of like an abusive relationship you know like rather than what it really is like when you're sick you're like oh i can't wait and then the second you get it you're like that wasn't even yeah that great like what a fucking lackluster yeah so um she's like drink drink, break my hair. It's also recovering. It's interesting. And I think it's what makes you, you know, especially to see how far you've come now is what I really want people to see.

She's like, fine. All right. So you started using heroin. Yeah. And take started using heroin. Yeah. And take me from there. And that was when I was like really like hiding everything, you know, because it was like before when I was on the pills the first time before I ever relapsed again and like got off.

I would always tell people like, oh, I'm a junkie. Like I'm I don't give a fuck. Like don't ever come for me. Like I am never going to rehab. Like I was like proud of it. But once you quit ever come for me. Like, I am never going to rehab. Like, I was, like, proud of it. But once you quit, there's something that happens where, like, and by quit, I mean, like, I thought I was sober. I was doing cocaine every day. Like, that was what I thought.

Like, my friends still. California sober. Yeah, my friends still joke with me. They're like, you were never sober at that time. Like, you were literally doing coke every day. I'm like, hey, that's like a cigarette. You know what I mean? Yeah.

But, like, for me, like like i got sober off the pills they had caused so much problems and so much pain and so i was kind of embarrassed like to tell anyone that i relapsed i didn't want to tell anyone so like then it just got worse and when you start hiding shit is when it really gets bad you know why were you hiding it why did you feel did you had you gone to rehab or you had no how did you get sober you just went to coke um well i i had a miscarriage okay yeah um but i didn't ever want kids i just like wanted to like have that one because like the hormones started kicking in right that shit will trick you by the way you're like you can stay pregnant for more than like six weeks like you're just like

all i want to do is be a mother. It's my mission in life. So like I had this whole thing in my head. Um, so I was getting clean for that, but it didn't like, you know, pan out. Um, thank God though. Cause I was, can we normalize people not wanting children, you know, just to interject. I feel, I hate like people ask Jay, me and Jay all the time. They're like, are you guys ever going to have kids?

And I'm like, no, I don't fucking want kids. Like, I don't want to inflict the trauma that my fucking family did on me. Like, I don't want to be responsible for that. I don't think you would do that, but I definitely don't want to. Not now, but if I had a shit one out when I was 18, imagine that kid would be fucked up right now. That's kind of where I was at. But to be fair, I did detox solely for the fact that I was. So some points there yeah a lot

of women can do a lot of people drug addicts don't do that um but yeah so you know that's why I got sober and then I was like oh I can't tell anyone I relapsed like that's embarrassing like after all that you know so I was going through the whole you know liar addict shit um the house was filthy it was pretty gross i mean i'm already i'm not gonna lie like i'm a bit of a slob naturally because my father was like i grew up like with a slob you know what i mean like and it's not even any shade it's like the man would like piss in gatorade bottles and like throw them in the back seat of the car so you were married to jay all right so your dad was jay sorry no totally reminds me of him a lot. But this dude will piss in a bathtub in the toilets,

literally right next to him. And I'm like, can you not? And remember he pissed all over my hair extensions. I was like, what is wrong with you? Like go to the fucking bathroom. You hobo.

Yeah, that was definitely, um, that was, and that's kind of how like I am like naturally I'm kind of sloppy you know what I mean like I'll just have my whole nightstand just and I'll like put like the last piece of trash to let it like you know what I mean like make sure it doesn't fall you know but um so I got better about that but I'm still kind of like that but this was like a whole nother level

because if you're already not a clean person and then you become a junkie, I mean, it's like. When was the last time you needed to go to a doctor but you pushed it off? Made the excuse of, I'm too busy. It'll heal on its own. I don't need help. I think we've all been there. Booking a doctor appointment can just feel so daunting. But thanks to ZocDoc, there's no reason to delay.

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I did that with cocaine. Yeah. I would like rummage for cocaine rocks in my floor. Yeah, I feel like everyone does that. At least cocaine doesn't look like dog turds. I tried to smoke a cocaine rock thinking it was crack one night like this is how deep the fucking addiction goes like you do weird shit when you're an addict especially when you're smoking the dog turd and you know it's not you know it's not

heroin the little almond roca i'm like i know this is an heroin because it doesn't taste like it i know it's burning weird but i'm so desperate to believe it is it might have a hint of heroin yeah some heroin might have gotten on this dog so yeah i mean i've done all kinds of weird shit but yeah so it was just like and you look at me people are like you you're not a heroin addict like there's something like i'm like i think people don't just like, and you look at me, people are like, you, you are not a heroin addict. Like there's something like, I'm like, I think people don't realize like how we all look, you know, different. Yeah. Just because you fucking have your glow up is phenomenal. Doesn't mean that you haven't been through some shit.

And that's why I wanted you to come back on the podcast because a lot of, a lot of you guys don't know this. Barb's was the way I met her five years ago was she was like one of the first people on my podcast she had like no hesitation was like yeah i'll do it and fucking so for that i just always have loved you and even for more reasons than that but that was like the beginning of our love affair and we also have a love affair where we exchange what's wrong with us every day all day long erin's always like it's kind of interesting like you wake up every morning the first thing you say to me isn't good morning it's like oh this is wrong or that's wrong last night i slept weird my arm feels funny i have a tickle here and he's like i've never in the whole time we

known each other and you've not had something wrong he's like and now you have bunny and she can tell you all the things wrong with her we just beat off of each other but it's funny because we have a balance because i calm you down and then you calm me down i know because you sound crazy yeah but it's like but then i bitch so like sometimes i'll be like man is this what it's like like is that because this isn't possible she can't possibly have all the you know yeah no i'm like it's totally it's totally both of us we are just just, we put the fun in dysfunction. But yeah, so I, that's why I wanted you to come back on the podcast was because I want,

now that I have all these fucking listeners and I just want people to get to know you again because I don't feel like anybody's going to go back to episode three and listen unless you guys want to. I think she's like, we did, I think like a few years ago in Nashville, but that was pretty far away. Yeah. It was not really like intimate. Yeah, it was. Well that, and it had you and Kata and it didn't really have like I don't think you guys really got to like like get into detail it was more of like just hey how you doing we're dropping in to drop some music and kind of like touched base so I kind of wanted to just deep

dive with you so that people could you know get reacqu Okay. So you're smoking dog turds. I'm smoking a dog turd. Off the carpet. I had a burp. Um, sorry, do it on the mic. Some people like it. Right. What is jelly makes me burp, made me burp in the mic when I was, um, when I was recording, he's like, you have to do that. You always do that before you start spinning. Um, so yeah, you start spinning um so yeah um it was pretty gnarly uh i mean there was there was maggots in my laundry like that's how and most people my dude's gonna be like why do you always tell everybody all this well why were there maggots though what was happening because well i had a laundry pile that was all the way in the kitchen shoved against the wall all the way up to the ceiling like because we just kept buying clothes because i mean i was stripping you know i didn't but i don't want to wash them yeah and

then i still don't want to wash them the sink was right there and so all the dishes were piled up and the maggots got from the dishes to the laundry wow so it was so you were living in a trap house top tier yeah um and this is like the fourth one okay so we would get a place run it into the ground stop paying rent we would get evicted um we would find some way to stay there long enough and then like find another place because i'd make just enough money i always made enough money like just to get a nice another nice place and i would always like you know you know smooth get my way in there i would dress nice that day and i'd put some tanner on my white face you know what I mean right and sorry I'm trying to get

adjusted in this fucking new studio over here so like we'd always find a new place to just destroy and every time we thought we're gonna keep that one nice but it never happened um and it's funny I remember the last place that I when I'd gotten arrested that we were living in like the guy's like well you just sit here in the kitchen let me know what you think it was like a nice like he had just done the house up walked outside and I was like thanks we, you just sit here in the kitchen. Let me know what you think. It was like a nice, like he had just done the house up, walked outside and I was like, thanks. We're going to talk about it. Lighting up heroin smoking in the kitchen. This guy's outside thinking we're like these like great tenants.

You know what I mean? And I was like, God, we were just the worst. It's crazy when you think about the shit that you do whenever you're under the influence. Yeah. I mean, we got engaged like that and we had a whole wedding planned that no one could get ahold of me for to get flowers or anything. My mom had to basically like, you know, get me in a corner to try and get me to plan this thing. And I ended

up having my wedding day while I was in rehab. So the day I was like, well, it's the day. day I was like well it's the day princess so how did you get to rehab when what was that pivotal moment I went with my best friend to a show she worked with me and like we danced for these cops believe it or not I even remember that show like it was really fun we were laughing we're having a good time like making jokes with these guys they were cool and then we left and we were counting money on the side of the street and other cops pulled up. This was over in Fountain Valley in Orange County. And they were like, get out of the car. And we're like, oh, we're not doing anything.

We're just counting money. We're dancers. And he goes, well, we're the strippers. There's narcotics. And I was like, how offensive. How dare you? Yeah. So my poor friend and her friend who drove us, who was a preschool teacher that we were paying.

Nice. Like, and neither of them had drugs on them. They weren't like there for that. You know? Meanwhile, I had like heroin and Coke on me and like, I just bought like,

like a really nice, like brand new, like 40 sack of black tar. You know what I mean? Like it was all shiny and new, you know, I didn't even get to dip into it, you know? And like the cops started looking and usually i had it my bra he didn't even look him like our bras um but for some reason you know it's like that universe thing like it happened to

be and i was like it's fine he's not gonna look in this spot and it was like i would have never done that and he found it of course oh no yeah so that was a whole fucking it was the worst because what did you get charged what were the charges um possession of large usable amounts of um narcotics heroin and cocaine or whatever the judge said when i was partially deaf when he said it yeah my i had like all the fluid coming out of my lungs into my ears in court I couldn't hear anything um so yeah went to jail that night my friend took my money to my boyfriend at the time she's like dude she's like it was the weirdest thing she's like I went to go drop your money off and I hadn't seen you guys in a while and stuff he was being so weird like and like the whole thing came out like she didn't even know i was doing heroin

and she's like i always just thought you had really dirty fingers and i couldn't figure out why oh no you know like it's like there's just so many things and then she was fucking pissed because you know i'd been lying to her and then like he was acting crazy she said it was like the because he needed the drugs and i had them on me or whatever. Um, but yeah. Oh, he was Jonesy. Yeah. Damn.

And then my mom came and got him and she took him off. She's like, you're going to rehab like kind of thing. And he was like, he needs a cancer. He was like, okay. He didn't even like really fight it.

Um, she strip searched him, my mom, and he's a full grown man. And he was like, okay. And she's like, let me see the shoes.

And he was like, fuck, there's like shit in his in his shoes um so like when i was getting out of jail she was like well i took your boyfriend off to rehab so we're we gotta find you a place and i had no intention of getting sober i was like i am not fucking getting sober like i just want to like get high again even though i've been kicking for days in jail and it was like they arrested me before the weekend it was a three-day weekend i didn't even like it was literally like five days um and it was what was that like horrible it was the worst experience like the worst detox like the moment i got in there there were girls in there that had actually you know they're drug addicts too or whatever they've been through it like oh what are you kicking and i'm like heroin she's like oh okay and she's like smoking or shooting and i was like smoking and she's like oh you're fucked and

i was like what do you mean she's like it's way worse detox so it gets in your bones it gets in your lungs it gets everywhere she's like you're then shooting it shooting's way cleaner wow yeah i would never known that yeah so i didn't either so i was sitting there like oh cool like yeah thank you bitch thank you for the anxiety um and it was just like days of just being like puking and shitting you don't know what to put in talking after you're getting over a sickness too is like hold on i gotta pull my shorts out of my vagina these shorts have been doing this to me all day it's been very uncomfortable how is those shorts i'd want to be in your vagina too oh well come on down so yeah i detoxed for a few days and it was horrific went to court threw up the

whole way to court on the bus um everyone was lifting their feet because the whole bottom of the bus was full of my puke oh no you know their guys were on the bus too and they're all hitting on me still they're like so where are you gonna i'm like dude are you fucking serious right now guys don't care they're like fucking just give it especially those types they were like hand they were like giving me a little you know they had like little pencils they had like smuggled they're giving me like their you know number to write write them and i was like one was cute but the point is yeah right up your alley potential there um no so basically i got to court my like i said, I was deaf.

Like I could not hear, like, it was so weird. All the shit like went into my ears and I was throwing up on the courtroom floor. I was locked with another girl and he was like, man, like everybody, even my public defender, like she came to my cell. This woman that's like a public defender was like, I want your mother's number. And I was like, what do you mean? Like, she's like, I defender was like i want your mother's number and i was like what do you mean like she's like i'm gonna call your mother like your teeth are gonna fall out like it was the weirdest thing all these people actually gave a shit that you usually don't you know what i mean like well they could see that i think they could see well first it was my first

like real offense right and like i you know i was attractive you could tell and you could just tell i was on that road you know what i mean mean? And they were just like, fuck, this girl's going to fucking ruin her life. Yeah. And she ended up calling my mom and telling her everything. And I was like, this is fucking lame. Like, what is this? You're like, I'm a grown ass bitch. What's happening?

What is happening? And so my mom was waiting when I got out of jail. And then she basically convinced me to go to um to orange county which is where i'd have to go to court all the time she's like you can't leave orange county you'll never go to court you're gonna get you're gonna reoffend you know right um and so i'm like that's awesome that your mom had your back yeah she really did um and i was just like oh fuck you know like and of course my mom didn't know what what drug addiction was like that like her alcoholism is drug addiction so we were all at the thing and she gave me like some wine to sleep, which I mean, I probably needed

to be honest. She's putting me in rehab. She's like, you're going to rehab the next day. She's loving you the way that she knew. Yeah. She was trying to figure out how to like knock me out. Cause I was still kicking. We're like, I remember sleeping in bed next to her and I was hallucinating so bad that I thought we were on a pirate ship and the sheets were like the masts. And I was like, you're not able to sleep. You know what I mean? Because you go from being on heroin to being highly alert. Like your brain doesn't sleep anymore. So it was just a weird,

it puts a cloak over you. Yeah. So she was trying to give me, she had like little pills too. She's like, you take this, like giving me shit. I think she was trying to keep me from taking off.

Right. So we ended up, um, some lady in the lobby told her of a place called the rock center. And it was like, um, in, in garden Grove, it was like this like low bottom indigent rehab, you know, uh, it was a really dope place. I had, I had a blast. It was basically like, you know, being in a coed, uh, like a college full of dirt bags, you know what I mean know which is perfect for me like we had a really good time that's what i tell everybody whenever my parents admitted me into the mental hospital i was like i found my people i had the best time there it was so fun yeah

everyone was like i was the craziest person which kind of was a letdown i'm not gonna lie at first i was like now i'm like super sane but like at that time coming out like I was on another level like everyone was like whoa like they're making they're like dude you're not gonna make it you're you're about you're like a foot out the door there's no way you're not gonna get discharged you know what I mean and they were just because I was like you know in there just I was weird for one you know I said weird shit like really weird shit I would talk about death a lot. I did a lot of like burning myself and like, you know, telling people about it, which is not, you know. Right.

But I was trying to like kind of fill that void. Right. You know what I mean? And the boys there weren't that cute, but they all looked cute to me at the time. And I didn't bang any of them, but I wanted to make out with all of them. Right. I was like making out with everybody. It was like trying to keep. I just want to feel something. Yeah. Give me something. Yeah.

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Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices. Treat yourself this winter without the luxury price tag. Go to quince.com slash B-U-N-N-I-E for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash bunny, B-U-N-N-I-E to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash bunny. I ended up making it. Part of the reason was because they said I wasn't going to make it. And I don't like anybody telling me what I'm not going to do. So I did make it. Is that a challenge? Challenge accepted. Yeah. Um, I ended up at the sober living upstairs. I managed the sober living

Which is basically You just log people in and out It's not really managing it But I was like in charge So I was actually trusted Which was new Got a little car Where's your boyfriend at this time?

Still in rehab? Oh yeah that guy She's like I was making out with the dudes Because I was But yeah I was I was so on another level And it was funny Because we dropped him off at rehab before we went to take me. And me and him were making out in the lobby.

I had vomit in my hair from, and he was like, I love you. And I was like, yeah, you know, like this whole thing. And then like I got to rehab and I was devastated. All I talked about, I love you and he's the love of my life and all that shit. And the second like we hung out and i was sober and like i was just like he would do weird shit he gave you the ick yeah and it was just it was messing with me because poor thing he really did love me you know what i mean he was like he everything was fine he didn't change you know what i mean like but i was just like i didn't feel

it at all anymore like well the veil was lifted yeah I was like I never had fallen in love with him um I knew I wasn't even when we first started dating I knew he was just pretty and he was and he was fun right I mean and he was wild like me but I was like with the drugs you think you're in love you know what I mean so I was like back to that where I'm like I don't want to have sex with you and I didn't know I don't want to go back to smoking cat turds. Yeah. So, and I probably that had something to do with it, you know, like subconsciously, you know, you're like, Oh, I don't want to go back to that life. Right. Well, it just reminds you of all the shit you just went through. Yeah. So, um, I ended up meeting someone else there and then we ended up together and that was like, started out really great.

Um, we were both sober. We both sponsored people. We both did like the whole thing. Um, and then, you know, he started going out, you know what I mean? And that's when things got shitty. You know what I mean? Because like, I wanted to stay sober. Um, I even relapsed on alcohol with him at one point. And then I was like, I don't want to do this anymore. Like of all i'm the designated driver um i you know this isn't what i want to do like i we would go out and like you know i would drive and he would get to drink and so i was like this isn't fun for me right you know what i mean so i was like and then he started getting worse he started doing other things and he brought coke home and i was like okay i'm done like it was just a fucking spiral so i literally was like i'm just gonna like we're

gonna stop you know what i mean all together um and actually i think he pushed it even further he disappeared one night and he never did anything like that and so all night long i didn't know where he was but he's you know he was definitely like a puppy dog type so he would like hit me up every once in a while like to tell like most guys just disappear i was like i could get a hold of him enough to know he was alive. And I was able to get out of him where he was. Right. So then I came and grabbed him.

What was he doing? He was with, um, he, well, he was working the WeHo crowd and some guy, they have doing a bunch of fucking meth and like the dude was paying him to hang out. I don't fucking know. You know what I mean? He was getting the old trombone. I don't think he was doing that, but like, you know what I mean? Like I, I trombone no i don't think he was doing that but like you know what i mean like i i know you know my mind gets weird on meth especially yeah with

dudes they say you're only one you know one unit away from an experience but yeah so i was like but either way the thing i was concerned with was like why is he out all night what's going on so of course you know and i went a full borderline episode which i hadn't had in forever you know like i'm like i waited up with the extension cord i'm like beating him with the extension cord like i was going losing my mind and then i guess he triggered your abandonment issues so bad and then um i went and then i started doing like the self-harm thing in myself in the bathroom i was like what is happening like yeah that's when i was like no more alcohol nothing i'm even gonna stop doing it.

We went back to meetings and then it came back around again. It just, it, it kept being like me trying to save this person who is just constantly going out. And I was like, I had to basically make a choice. You know what I mean? Like either I stay sober or this guy's going to take me out, you know, which was the best decision ever because then I was able to like actually work on me kind of because I met someone else instantly, but that's a Libra thing. There's a

patent. No, that's a trauma thing. Yeah. So the guy I'm with now, um, I met right out of that relationship and we're actually like business partners and stuff. So it's like, it works really well. Yeah. Shout out Daddy Warbucks. Daddy Warbucks. And, you know, it just kind of works out because we're both first of all, he doesn't. He's basically me with a penis. How did you meet Aaron? Are we allowed to use government names? Yeah. He he hit me up on Instagram and I had like five thousand followers and he was like, yeah, let's talk about how you got into your your insta thought. followers and he was like yeah let's talk about how you got into your your insta thought dumb yes so um he was like hey um why do you only have 5 000 followers that's such an errand line and i was like and i was thought he was gonna hit on me and he wasn't and he was like i have this thing i

want to start that's like a snapchat premium where you have like multiple girls and like they pay for your snapchat and you could get like ten thousand and like they pay for your snapchat and you could get like ten thousand dollars a month and at that time i was like ten thousand dollars extra a month like man i was like jerking dudes off for that you know what i mean um but you know um only jerking off though only the hand nobody here judges only the hand is a i like to touch aaron with it like it's your wooden paw yeah like it's made of stone i'm always like i'm such a clean girl with this hand no that's all right i was not yeah um so yeah he he was like well would you do a

snapchat takeover for me at a big snapchat that was like 80K Snapchat, which was huge at that time, you know? And I was like, I don't know what that is, but I'm willing to do it. And he's like, you just go on there and answer questions and do whatever. And he's like, you should have like millions of followers. You're like really hot, you know? Like you could make money.

And I was like, you know, he's like, he was like, you know, he was making some other money. It was the first dude that actually like saw your value monetarily. Yeah. And yeah, because nobody else saw that i was like over at the strip club shackled for simplicity like i was like so i'll feed the pole yeah i had my little blind man glasses on um yeah so he was like you know

let's he's like let's work on this and he's like grow your instagram and i like he didn't even know what to do with that yeah instagram you're like okay how i know i was like how do i do that he goes we'll take some good pictures and i was like okay and he's like not the ones you're taking those look terrible he's like you got to go to like a really good photographer like he was trying to guess and so i started lining up photographers started like just posting pictures and then he made a separate account that's where viking barbie account was born like i had the kaylee account then he made the viking barbie account and he's like what do you want your name to be and i was like well i usually say viking kaylee or viking barbie like i've had that a bunch of times yeah

and it used to be norco barbie so i think we can just do viking barbie now yeah and so he was building that one i was building and we were like both and then i just started doing both and it started like it grew you know i did expeditiously yeah i grew uh it started with karma rx that's my wife uh we love karma shout out karma that i we met i met karma through uh kaylee yes and she was the first collab i did uh girl girl he's like oh this chick's making like 60 grand a month you know or 40 grand a month on snap he's like this is the person you should talk to she's dating like a friend of mine or something and i was like okay i'm down you know so like i met her we talked on the phone for four hours the first night we talked and like we were like basically in love and so i was like when we met

like we were just inseparable ever since i mean it's been like six years you know what i mean and we're just constantly like, you know. Which Karma and I have the same birthday. So it makes sense. Yeah. She literally is a day before me. I have a thing with, I'm a Libra. So Aquarius, and I've got an Aquarius moon.

No, but you're a Scorpio Libra. That's why you're a cusp. Every single astrologer is like, you're basically a Scorpio. Yeah. I can see it. Yeah. So that, that happened. Then my account started growing we started bringing other girls on I start he goes hey I don't want to be the weirdo who's like training these girls

would you be down to manage them I don't want to be the creep yeah he's like I feel weird doing it they're gonna think it's like a weird thing he's like he saw me managing the stripping agency for the guy that that I was working for yeah he just like went like little Donald Duck eyes and he was like hey could you do that for me dollar signs yeah so I started doing that um training the guy that I was working for. Yeah. He just like went like little Donald Duck eyes and he was like, Hey, could you do that for me? Yeah. So I started doing that, um, training the girls, teaching them what I do, showing them how to grow a brand, all that stuff. And I just knew like instinctively with this job, apparently it was really good at selling and like, like being, getting creative ideas. Like I'm very creative. I'm just not good at ripping people off.

I wish I was because I would be so much, I would be richer, but I'm just not good at it. Like I'm very creative. I'm just not good at ripping people off. I wish I was because I would be so much, I would be richer, but I'm just not good at it. Like I'm very, what you see is what you get. And like, this is what I got to sell. You know what I mean?

Like you're not going to see me trying to trick you. You know what I mean? Dollar for a pussy lip. Yeah. Except for when I say it's the gardener. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's really not the gardener guys.

Jay and I did, we used to do what you guys do. We kind of ripped it off of you guys. Jay and I did, we used to do what you guys do. We kind of ripped it off of you guys. Whenever I had the OF, when I first started it, I watched it and it is so funny. It is so funny because people are like, that's not fucking the bell boy.

You're like, yes, it is. He's 400 pounds. Okay, guys, it's a fucking, you know,

it's a fantasy Your foreplay It's a fantasy Like come on You know Johnny Sins Isn't a plumber Right You know what I mean Yeah

Like But you know It's kind of one of those Yeah Anyways He He was down to do that stuff too You know

Like do shows with me and stuff Which was pretty cool I mean why wouldn't he be Some guys are not Like I'm You know I couldn't do that It's like weird

Or like you know But he's kind of a freak You know Right He will never tell anybody He's like Shh But he scorpio venus that's all i'll say yeah um so he's like down to do that stuff it works out um but yeah we grew the brand together and um it just kind of took off from there we had violent summer she got huge we at the time we had worked with like allison parker she was huge at the time we worked with her And then

Yeah You guys have Dakota, Emily Yeah well Snap started dying And I remember just thinking like Oh okay This is done I don't trip though like I'm just kind of like Alright on to the next ho thing

What else do I do you know We're good at selling ourselves Yeah I mean and the reality like, I was making so much money though. That's the one thing that was a little scary because I was like, Whoa, how am I ever going to make this much money? This is like ridiculous money. You know, he's not tripping because he's a businessman. So he's got like five things he's doing, you know what I mean? Like he's not even worried about it. Um, but definitely I was a little bit like, okay, what do I do next? You know? Um, and then only fans and like all this stuff. And so we did our own platform before we ever went on only fans and we were like going to die on that Hill. Yeah. You

know what I mean? Like, yeah, we're not doing only fans. It's all about nudies. So we still have nudies. We still, uh, I still proposed everything, you know, you get all the videos for like a monthly and all that stuff. But then I then i was like hey can we get the girls like a free only fans at least yeah you know what i mean like they're missing out on some money and then he agreed to it and then we all had like so now it's just a whole thing just a whole fucking snowball of money yeah and then and then i started rapping which you know i know surprised people but you know you've actually you have a song with tech nine like let's not fucking diminish it you and i did a cover with jelly roll hello i mean we don't talk about jelly roll here i'm just kidding um yeah no it's kidding daddy i love you

um yeah but basically like um and crooked crooked eye he's pretty dope he's like warm and underground type dude. Yeah. I think he did something with Buzz Believe too. Dirtbag. Yes. And, um, I, you know, I, I really want to get back into that too. I've been, I've been working on some stuff.

Um, but you know, I, I kind of took a hiatus to heal. Um, yeah, let's talk about that. So I think what is so beautiful about this story too, is, you know, not only have you fucking completely changed your life around now after getting sober, becoming a businesswoman, fucking, you know, buying a house, doing all the things that fucking upstanding citizens do. now on a fucking healing journey and I know everybody I think it's like the cool thing now for everybody to say I'm on my healing journey but it's like when you're on a healing journey that shit's not fucking easy no it's brutal it's terrible like I literally did my first fucking heart chakra cleanse this week and this shit really works dude like it's fucking crazy let's talk about your journey oh so i started about a year ago um what had happened was i kept going to therapists and they kept diagnosing me like i would talk my way into a new diagnosis every time i walked in and i was like which you've been

diagnosed with what go ahead and tell people um i was diagnosed as uh having borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder, which I was, which was news to me because I was like, what? I'm not the good guy though. You know what I mean? Like, and I really like- Spoken like a true narcissist. Right. So like, I never, I never willingly went out, like, I guess during my bad years, when I was on drugs, I did mean things to people, but I've always been like trying to help everybody. But I guess, you know, like I didn't know there was like other things like the way I am in relationships and the way I deal with like a partner and things like that. So I was shocked, but I was willing to accept it.

You know what I mean? I was like, all right, this is what I am. And then I started kind of accepting this story that that was being told to me I was like oh you're you know you're borderline you're a narcissist these are what they this is what you do when you're this way this is what you can't be cured this is who you are I hate that too and that's why I've never gone to get diagnosed because I'd probably have the same diagnosis as you but I just never wanted to believe that that defined me. I mean, and neither does any other narcissist, but the point, that's not me. No. Um, I'm the good guy. This is the thing. If your mind, and I've told you this before, I've said this to you before, if you're,

if they have to use a placebo study every time they test a new drug and the people that have the placebo effect, it's, it's actually not that different they're like well it was slight slightly elevated in the non-placebo group right your mind is powerful tells you how powerful i mean they've done studies where they've had someone work out and then people pretend to work out in their mind and there's only slight difference in the people who physically did it oh well fuck i'm gonna start doing that every day start imagining give me one of those vr things where i'm just like no it's a real thing so like i was like this you know if i keep telling myself this it's gonna be it's really gonna be real it's gonna be ingrained i started reading books about i was obsessing over it then i started noticing the behaviors being my

out you know what i mean where i'd be like well i'm just a narcissist you know what i mean and it was kind of funny and all that stuff until it's not funny because you're having a bad day or you're having like you know and then you start like it's because I'm like this it's because this is who I am you know and then you're treating everyone around you like shit because they're like oh hey can can you maybe take accountability and you're like I don't take accountability I'm a narcissist you know what I mean? Like it becomes a story, you know? Right. So, um, I met this guy, Glenn, who obviously like you,

I, you know, introduced you to, to, um, and he does like nervous system, like work on your nervous system. And he doesn't believe in any of that shit.

Right. And thank God. Yeah. Because it's bullshit guys. I'm sorry. And I don't want to like, I know I'll get heat for this because there's so many people are like, no,

it's not a choice. And it's not a choice to like have those traumas. But I do believe, and this is my belief and this is what I learned from him, is these are trauma responses and everybody can have a pattern of behaviors from these trauma responses. Absolutely. And I believe that too. So, and you can, you know, it's like, oh, well, the gray matter of brain is, is, uh, affected. If you're a narcissist, there's things that can improve gray matter, right? You can do anything you want. You are the master. You're the alchemist. You could do whatever you want. So like, will whatever you want manifestation, we'll talk about it today. So I started going, I'm not those things. That's a behavior pattern. And we started, my mouth is dry. Yeah. I was over here sipping on some scissor.

It's a lot when you talk about your whole life, dude, it's crazy. It's been a while. It's a great story though. So basically he started like training me and reprogramming me and helping me reprogram myself to be like, Hey, um, these are these personalities of defense that are coming out to protect your inner child. It's not you.

Right. And because of that, their behaviors and if their behaviors, what can you do with behaviors? You can change them, you know? So I'm like, you know,

that I basically just went into it. Like I believe this wholeheartedly. I believe it as hard as I believe those diagnoses. She went into it a lot easier than I did. Yeah, she did not want to go into that dying light. She was just like. I was like, I'm just going to fucking, I don't want to be gentle. I don't want to be soft.

I still want to be me, but I want to heal. You still are. And that's the thing is like he even says, you know, he always says it to you. I'm sure it's like you get to keep those parts of yourself. You sometimes it comes in handy to be kind of a bitch, right? You know, those are protecting you in some way. It's when you're being triggered and they're coming out and hijacking you. And that's what happens when you're having a narcissistic injury, uh, narcissistic injury. And that's what happens when you're having a borderline episode. Um, you know, it's your system being hijacked, you know, essentially. And, and it also,

let me also add that like health and diet and things like that play a huge part into it because it's hard to control your nervous system. If you're eating things, you have inflammation, whatever, but that's another day. Um, but yeah, so I mean, after about a year of going through this nervous system, like we would go into my timeline and like find these triggers and like do these meditations. And like, I would just cry and it was like these crazy like releases and I would feel like a thousand pounds lighter.

And then I started noticing the things that used to trigger me in those areas weren't triggering me so much anymore. Yeah. Because I was literally being re-triggered from something that didn't exist anymore. It was old. It's crazy. But like this shit really does work.

When I did that heart chakra thing the other day, fucking eyeballed my eyes out. And literally everything that could possibly trigger me this week has came at me. And I've maintained my cool and, like, my peace about all of it. Like, it really does work when you are ready to just fucking submit to the universe. The universe has a funny way of softening you in the times that you need it. Yeah. And you're never going to be like super, you know, bunny's never going to be like, oh, you know what I mean? Like that's not who you are. It's not who I am. But you can control how you respond.

Right. And that's that is power. You know, and that's what I've realized. I've never felt more powerful than now. Like, I feel like a fucking badass. Right. You know, being able to control your emotions and your nervous system, which I'm still trying to regulate my nervous system. But the emotions is just so powerful when it like comes up and you're like, you can feel where it's at. You're like, oh, what's that? And then it doesn't go here.

Right. And then I'm not going like you're the problem. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, that's what would happen. Like when I would have a narcissistic injury, let me just go into that. You know what I mean? Somebody does something that I would perceive as a threat or disrespect or whatever. And it's someone that I'm supposed to love. And my eyes literally go black because I'm not there anymore. I'm completely in the moment of this person's hurting my little guy. They're coming for me and I'm released the hounds. You know what I mean? Like, and it's just like a whole, like, I'll look you dead in the eyes and be screaming guttural,

you know, like you're nothing, you know, just like insane. You are dead to me. Yeah. Like, and there's been a few times where I've done it over something that's so ridiculous. Yeah. That was my thing. I had the shortest fuse. Like, so short. And Aaron was like, there was one time and he just sat there and looked at me and he was just like, ah, I've never seen someone get so mad over something like this before.

Oh, my husband had to calm me down a little bit earlier. Cause like, like I said, this week has has been fucking everybody's been coming at me but i mean i think it was warranted me finally fucking standing up and saying enough is enough but jay has to calm me down sometimes and just talk sensitively he's like do you know who you are like you got to stop fucking responding to people and i'm just hard because you you feel even if you don't want to think like it has some like attack on you there's some part of you yeah that feels something well when people attack my business right and so that's when i'm like you have you self-worth about right i mean so i mean there's so many things you can

unpack yeah talk shit about me all day don't care can fucking but come for my business i'm like no yeah no bitch we're not playing that's what's taking you out of the out of the gutter though right it's like yeah it's almost like it's like family you might as well you know what i mean yeah don't talk shit about my sister my mother yeah but um yeah it's very much like crazy to be able to see someone and then they try and someone will try and argue with your fight with you like they used to and they can't yeah because you're just like you have a shield of protection i'm just not here anymore like i'm that person's not here anymore um there are some things i still bat you're always you're not a hundred percent healing is a fucking lifetime dedication process this shit

i don't know how people when they're like i'm healed because i'm never going to be healed yeah well you're so the one thing about healing is you're self-aware now you know what i mean so you're able to go fuck i can't even act like this anymore because i already know you know what i mean so it's kind of one of those things where it's like even erin was saying like hey you didn't do the dishes like it's your turn and like i i'm like a little brat right i mean don't tell me what to do and I don't like to do things I don't do chores I don't care if we live in filth you know what I mean like you know who I am bitch I had maggots in the laundry yeah I smoked cat turds yeah so like I get and then he's

like hey could you just and he tries to ask me and there's even that little moment where I feel threatened and I feel it happen you know like I have that problem with authority too yeah it's like an authority thing like and you feel and men I don't like men this guy's telling me like that I did something wrong I'm bad is what I hear right you know but I know that's what I hear and I'm like fuck okay yeah sorry I'm like but I say it I say it damn you oh I think you and are you and Aaron ever gonna get married yeah when I don't know I want to be a bridesmaid yeah I was just inviting myself to the wedding actually I want to be the flower girl I always joke with him when he wants to do another life step he's like we should probably get a joint account and I'm like when I get my money right

and I've been saying that for years and he's just like fuck you yeah I was like I'm done that's like how Jay and I are. We fucking, he's the same way. A life step. I love how you said that when we do another life step. Yeah. I mean, and that's the thing is most girls would be jumping to try and lock this one down.

Yeah. This dude's like, he's just getting richer. You know what I mean? Like I can't keep up with them. Right. You know? Hello. Yeah.

I know the feeling. I used to make more money than my husband. Now I'm like the peon in the feeling. I used to make more money than my husband. Now I'm like the peon in the relationship. Here's my measly million. It's all I got, honey. That's literally what it's like. And, and I, and I'm all for it. Cause then it's like, man, just think of it. You have to be a pretty big, bad motherfucking man to be able to submit us to begin with. Right. And then also be in your mask and be in that masculine level so much that we're also like kind of putting our feminine,

even rich. Right. Like I can't be rich enough. Yeah. I'm like, he's like, Hey babe, I just said yes to like two more $20 million deals.

I'm like, what? Like how? Yeah. No, I stopped. I stopped keeping, I was just like,

go daddy, go. I'll take 350. Yeah. I need my 10%. Yeah. ike turner in this bitch yeah but the thing is like money has just never been i should probably care about it more is the problem yeah i'm gonna start manifesting my focus i'm trying to take my focus off money i'm trying to be more in the moment and trying to you know because literally just my sign, how I was born. And I know everybody's like, don't blame it on your sign, but I was just born to work

literally, you know? So it's really hard to fucking break that. So it's like, you know, fucking, I've just been money oriented my entire life. So this past year, I guess I've really tried to like dial back and try to like take time off and try to fucking just, you know, to like dial back and try to like take time off and try to fucking just you know let my only fans go that was fucking hard dude you know but it's like as you get older and on this healing journey shit that mattered to you just doesn't matter anymore you know and you just want to be a better soul it doesn't matter about material things you can't take that shit with you also i'm terrified of the universe it's like no the you know she's a scary bitch gangster like seriously people i have you know friends that i talk to that aren't there yet and they're just like oh yeah but i still want to do this and i'm like i don't want to play anymore yeah yeah she doesn't she doesn't stop until you do what

you're supposed to right and so if you'll get every lesson over and over and over again over and over and you'll have it'll just hit you back to back and people everything always happens bad to me and i'm like that happened to me too i stopped doing all that stupid shit and guess what yeah like now my life is amazing yeah it it really works that way it's not like some woo-woo you know what i mean so it's like and the moment I stepped away and was like I'm done with this person or I'm done with this situation and I really did let it go everything it was like just abundance yeah you know but and you know when you're supposed to let something go and they say like you're supposed to let it go when it feels like you don't want to let it go the most right like when you feel like you're holding on so tight that's when you let it

go and I was like that's how it was for so tight, that's when you let it go. And I was like, that's how it was for me with everything that I moved forward and let go of. Yeah. Including my personality traits that I thought were my identity. That's where I'm at now. I'm starting to break down my, my aggression, I guess you could say,

and trying to like mellow out a bit because I am so like just fucking control type a personality is going to be terrified of you. Don't worry about it. It's not even that. It's not even that. It's just that that's the next step in my healing is, you know, I've been working on all this other shit. So now it's like, it's time to, to break down the shit that I've been holding onto for so long. You know, you can apply also to you. Like, remember that? Have you seen that thing where they're talking about a dangerous man is a man that has the ability to inflict, um,

devastation, but chooses not to. I mean, it's no different for us. You know, nobody, I dare you. I've been,

I've been throwing pennies in that wishing well many times, but at the, at this point I'm like, I don't wish a bitch would, right? Because I know who I am. I know what point I'm like, I don't wish a bitch would. Right. Because I know who I am. Right. I know what I'm capable of and I don't want to do it.

I don't want to be there. So I send everything out the way it is. And if the universe wants to send me somebody who want to play. No, yeah, no, I know. Trust me.

This week has been fucking tested, but I think we've done great. I think you've done great on your journey. I think that, you know, you are a role model. Like a lot of girls. And I think what I love about you too is you're always mentoring women. I love women. Yeah.

You're always mentoring. Preferably some Eastern European ones with large breasts. I would love to mentor those. I call her Trucker Tom because she loves big, just jumbly-wumblies. I do. Saggier the better. She loves, she's like boobs. Um, she loves them, but I do like, I love women in general. And I think I've always been protective of women. You're a good friend. I feel like that's one thing that I've always, there's been moments I haven't been a good friend. So I'm not going to say, cause we all do that at times, but I do believe that like these

days it's kind of hard to beat. Yeah. I'm there for people. I don't always, I'm not always calling you. I'm not the one who's going to be there all the time. Right. But when I'm the one that if you need me, that's the person to call, you know? And I think that's where it counts.

Yeah. I love that about you though. Yeah. I love that about you though. Yeah. I love that. I love everything you do. What do you, what's next? What's next for you? Um, well, I want to start getting creative again. Um, you know, I, I just want to get back into like my creativity. I did like a whole like astrology reading where we talked about my human design and like, I'm very sacral and that's where creativity is and I haven't felt as creative during this whole healing process so I'm trying to like tap into that and meditate to like come on bring me the idea yeah get me back into idea mode because I'm

such like an idea guy you know um and I have been getting them again and I just have to jump on them when I get them because sometimes I'm like oh is that the one I was supposed to take? Laura's like, come on, just do it. You know, because sometimes when you heal, the thing they don't tell you about healing is how little you're going to give a fuck about other shit that you thought mattered. So like the money, the obsessively trying to be better than everybody because you think you have to.

And like competitiveness, I just don't give a shit anymore so I really need to find the the desire to to be creative and to do things because I love it and not from trauma right and I think a lot of us girls who've done really well in this world it's a lot of trauma-based girls who are just go go go go go you know what I mean absolutely yeah I don't want to be unhappy I don't care how much money I have I'm just over it I love it though I love what you're doing so you want to get more creative what about music I'm definitely going to be going uh I just did a song with Savannah Dexter I just have to get everything you guys actually have one out on Savannah's Spotify

bet you won't she did um I featured on one and she put it on and it's it's a bop you guys yeah it's a cute one i love it it needs to go to tiktok well we're going to do a video at the same time for both our songs so that's why i'm putting this one out so we can do that even though she was like oh my god this song's a little racy poor sav she's like our little sister that we're just like always fucking exposing her like come here little girl get on this track she's like what did you just say pay me fuck me oh god you know Bravo's over there fucking sweating bullets just like oh shit what did we fucking get her into yeah but I mean I just want to get back into it and I think everything will just

kind of flow um I know that uh Bury Yourself got you know it got pretty big and it went viral on tiktok viral like a few times yeah and it'll keep going viral it's just one of those songs i need to just post it yeah it's you know my thing oh i know i'm always telling her put put this on tiktok go on tiktok and i'm like here's my boobs you know it's like the easy thing yeah pop out here's a boobs. It's like the easy things pop out. Here's a titty. Yeah. Um, well,

I just love you and thank you for being my first guest in the fucking new studio out here. I love you too. I love you so much. Why don't you shout out where everybody can find you? Shout out your only fans again and all your Instagrams. So, um, my only fans,

Viking doll, Viking dot or Viking doll dot VIP. Yeah. And then, um, and then my other account is Viking barbie.com. That's a nudies. Um, I've got a YouTube Viking Barbie music and, um, my Instagram is Viking dot Barbie. So tell, leave me alone. Yeah. So they haven't came for you for the name on instagram because technically i'm not monetizing the name gotcha so you're allowed to use a handle but once you start monetizing it that's why they came for my my only fans but i feel like there's something i could do and this is the level like can i change my name to viking barbie i mean yeah that would be a loophole around it I will do it yeah that's the

level I'm willing to be petty like if it's your name is your name like what's Trisha Paytas doing with Malibu Barbie like she named her kid Malibu Barbie right so so how is you know I think Malibu has accounts and everything Malibu Barbie can't make money off her name when she's older. I don't know. I'm sure she will be able to. We have to look into that. We're going to look into that. What's your TikTok?

So people will go follow you and you're on Spotify too. Uh, TikTok I think is Viking.Barbie too. Yes. Just Google Viking Barbie. You'll see her beautiful vagina, her tits, all of it. Fakes on there. Go to my verified accounts. Yeah.

Um, yeah, my, what was the other thing you asked uh i think you're on spotify right under yes viking barbie i don't recall exactly she's just here ladies and gentlemen she doesn't know what any of her shit is yeah spotify apple music it's all over the place i got some good jams well i appreciate you and you need to come back in like another year let's not when was the last time i had you on like three years ago two years ago two it was when we did um music with jay yeah that was the old studio right yeah yeah i was actually when i came down that time i was going through the worst depression i'd ever had yeah remember i was like crying every five minutes that was so bad girl we were we both went through a really bad fucking depressive shit it was crazy i don't miss those me either man i'm

fucking so thankful so thankful we love you guys thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of dumb blonde i will see you guys next week bye