Dumb People Town - Alex Edelman - Stay In Your Lane

Episode Date: September 30, 2025

Comedian, actor, and Emmy Winner Alex Edelman (The Paper, Tour dates) stops by as Randy describes a Canadian man driving down the road in a Pink Barbie Jeep, Jason explains how a surgeon left during a surgery to have sex with a nurse, and Daniel warns against taking pranks too far(t) at your job, and so much more!

Hey, townies, I want to talk to you a little bit about ways to help yourself sleep better. And I'm talking about gummies. I'm talking about THC. I for a long time kind of didn't like jump into that wave and still was having trouble going to sleep. And then I started taking these gummies that we got from mood.com. And I'm telling you out in 15 minutes up the next day, no hangover, feeling great. I love these guys. I want to tell you all about them. It's online cannabis company. They're revolutionizing how we deal with life's change. challenges from, like I said, sleepless nights to the stress-filled days. Mood.com. They have created an entire line of functional gummies that target specific health concerns with 100% federally legal THC blend.

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You're not just going to find gummies like this at any dispensary or anywhere for that matter. They are special. They have gummies for literally everything. I'm going to tell you, immune support, menopause relief. I need to get more for my wife. PMS symptoms. Again for my wife. Mental clarity, sexual arousal, and each one is crafted using federally legal cannabis grown

on small family-owned American farms, no pesticides, no BS. And they can ship to most states in the U.S. U.S. Best of all, not only does Mood stand behind everything with an industry leading a 100-day satisfaction guarantee, but as I mentioned, our listeners get 20% off their first order with the code D-PT. So head to Mood.com, browse their amazing selection of functional gummies, and find the perfect gummy for whatever you're dealing with.

And remember to use the code D-PT at checkout, save 20% that lets them know that we sent you, save 20% on your first order, and get that sleep and feel the way you're supposed to feel, mood.com. On today's episode, we've got a man who steals a Barbie car and drives it under the influence. That's fun. Then we've got a doctor who has sex in the middle of surgery with a nurse. I'm okay with it. And finally, we've got a teacher with perhaps the stinkiest situation we've ever seen. All of it is on this episode of Dumb People Time with our great guest, Alex Edelman. Boom. Dan and ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware. They lack in grace and sometimes

choose the life they choose we'll make the news breaking down each epic fail in florida there's half-rise bail i'm happy to say they couldn't make this so listen to our podcast jam with co-host arm and dan benders don't be a jerk because when the music which the funny hits and we are gonna take you down stick around make a sound Hunger Down is Dumb People Town Hey, Taddies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population Edelman. Alex.

Julian. Julian Edelman. I should be so lucky. He should be so lucky. Newly minted Patriots Hall of Famer. Dude, this is when you know you've made it. And you've already made it. But when someone comes to Julian Edelman is like, are you related to Alex?

Edelman, you made it? Then you know. I don't think that's ever happened. Are you joking? Guaranteed. Give me a break. No, the next time you meet him, he will. that'll happen i worship the guy i think he's the coolest dude in the planet we have lots to talk about

with you including i'm barreling through the paper i love it so much we'll get into all that in the second segment but uh and i know you have a big show and by the way saw rain wilson give a shout out to how much he loved the paper on a pod did he did and then mark norman was like come on it's over that's the dad he's like no no it's good good i love it's a good show and i love mark norman all right should we jump into this right away let's do you ready this one was sent him by kyle andrews at late night nachos lovely dude all right Here's the headline. Man arrested after driving child-sized pink Barbie Jeep through Prince George, British Columbia.

So he arrested for being too cool. I guess so. What's the offense? We got a lot of pictures. So Andrew Kerjada. Did he steal it from a Kirjata sound like a sweet tea that you order from a Mexican restaurant? I'm not going to drive here anymore. Kerjada is like the...

Kerjada and my go flea collar. I'm a new impala. Curjada, also one of the most famous Thai restaurants in now. Yeah. No, that's Jitlada. Curjada is one of my favorite... I can't believe... Indian dishes?

No, I forgot the... Curjada is one of my favorite relief pictures for the twins in the early 90s. Tim Kerjada does great analysis of the... Yeah. Why can I not think of... Kerjada is that new fighting thing that happens in cars. That's car jitsu. Okay.

Prince George Mann was pulled over by police after driving a child-sized pink toy Barbie Jeep along... And Aaron might have pictures. one of the main roads in the north central BC City on September 5th on a day that included a hit and run involving an ambulance and a prominent downtown business being destroyed by a fire he picked the wrong this escalated he picked the wrong day to pull this shit wait say that sir sir hands where I can see them sir you can see them tiny hands where I can see them are there any drugs in the vehicle sir do you have genitalia sir do you know I

pulled you over sir sir do you know why I pulled you by the way in one of these photos he looks like he feels like he's going really fast right all he's like looking over his shoulder yeah also in that top level and he looks like he's weaving through those orange cones on his in the top right one he looks like he's is my ex-girlfriend following me well to be fair Alex a lot of people who normally drive these cars do tend to say look what I can do sure here's the other thing I just want to point out that this is not news what's what you mean he gets arrested and And that in Prince George, like, if you saw this in LA, you'd be like, yep, Atwater, baby.

Except that, except that in the, in the total vein of the paper, this would lead the, uh, the paper. This would lead my character, my character who is in a, who is who, who, uh, let's just say if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, this podcast is about my character just be called people town. That's right. He's so beautifully dumb. So dumb. It's so much fun to write a dummy, but like, and then to play a dummy. it and play that you believe the things you were saying. Come on. It's so much fun. And there's a little bit of a dummy in you, and I love that you bring that out.

Thank you. You're welcome. You play is smart, but there is like, you can't access that without being a little dumb. You got to be a genius to play a fucking idiot. It's hard to say it right now. Thank you. All right. So, photo captured several witnesses showing Casper Lincoln wearing aviator.

Casper Lincoln. Is that his name? Yeah. That's his name? Casper Lincoln. Sounds like a coach of like Nebraska. Like, if you told me the new, the guy. By replacing Matt Rule, he's Tom Osmoreston Avenue at Wisconsin.

I thought his name was Matt Rule. Kerjada. Kerjada. No, Kerjada is the name of the where it was pulled off in the town of Kerjada. With a mixture of humor and disbelief, that's what it sort of spread online. I don't think the cops should have opened fired. 15th Avenue near Nicholson Street, one of the main thoroughfare. Speaking to CBC News, Lincoln said, I mean, it is Canada, too.

There's not a lot going on in Canada. Oh, yeah. You know, you know how many main. thoroughfares there are in Kerjada, Canada. So the Mounties, in my opinion, in this scenario, should have come up on Shetland horses. The tiny horse, little ponies. That should have been the follow. Yeah.

Just to, this is the crime. Grette, joke. By the way, and I've never seen a Shetland horse gallop. I've only seen them take 90sets. I want to see the mugshot is what I want to see. The mugshot. I want to see the arrest photo. There is a shot of this guy wearing...

He's wearing Oakley Rapparounds in this other picture of Aaron can bring it up. And speaking to CBC News, Lincoln said he was getting ready to go. I mean, come on. He's just having fun. Why does he look like he came in second and last place in the X games? Right? Or he's like an outfielder for like a Dominican team that like... Or he looks like a character-cuchar drawing of himself.

He looks like he still thinks the guy from Sublime is the lead singer. His son is actually him. That's him. Wait. This guy looks awesome. This guy looks like the most good thing about him. This is Lincoln. So Lincoln is this.

Lincoln? Okay, so Lincoln said... 14 to 18 minutes on his beer trimming. Do you guys want to hear his explanation? Lincoln said he was getting ready to go get a slurpee with a friend but got lazy and decided to borrow his roommate's child's tiny car to get around. So his roommate has a child. If you're the dad of the child, you're like, hey guys, this is my roommate.

He may be stealing your shit. Right. Just be ready. He might take it. Also, what do you think the battery? The child cannot be reached for comment. No. Through tears.

His friend walked along beside him. I never drove it before he said while laughing. To me, Lincoln feels like that guy laughs at things that aren't funny for a long time. I like this guy. Me too, but also like, there was a fire down hound. Not funny. Lincoln is embracing his fame after being arrested driving a Toy Pink Party Jeep in Prince George, Prince George, BC, saying he's enjoying the memes being sent to him by friends and family. he also doesn't blame the police for doing their job and pulling him over

admits that he was over the legal limit for alcohol okay so you can get a DU surprising thing so you can get a DUI driving anything am I right yeah here's the question was was he when they pulled them over did they ask him to do the alphabet forwards yeah they're like he's saying it first of all he's saying it he's saying it the images Lincoln scene driving near the side of the road that's been closed for construction before turning into an open side road then an unmarked police cruiser pulls him over why unmarked? Imagine being pulled over in that car drunk by an unmarked police cruiser. Sir, you were weaving near the playhouse. You're really arresting him for driving a gas station.

One of the people to film the man being put in handcuffs. Do we need to put him in handcuffs? He probably just turned him in the Chinese finger torture. He told CBC News that can have been driving close to the curb and maybe going how fast? See, that's the thing. How fast do you think he was going? That weight with that tiny battery. That weight with that five miles an hour.

I'm going to guess, I'm going to guess 15. Three. One of you is exactly right. It's three. You think it's five. You're going to stick with 15? I'm going to stick with 15. Get your answers in townies.

Because he was going three miles. Oh, you know. It's a brisk walk. Wait, how, it's not even a brisk walk. Right. I can walk four miles an hour. I mean, 40-minute mile? You can watch more.

You can do that. I mean, in the movie, the long walk, they have to go like 3.5 or 3.3 miles per hour. So he would be shot. In the movie, the Green Mile. Just kidding. In the first images, Lincoln is near the side of the road in the lane that's closer instruction. We already did this whole thing. Castro said he was cuffed after he took a hit of his vape, which that's always a great moment.

Barbie card, pull it over. You didn't have to say that. My little baby. Which was put on... My little vapie. Put on top of the vehicle. My baby and me. And was being ordered to keep his hands in place.

Otherwise, he said he was complying with police orders. Nikita Morgan saw part of the incident. Look, other than what I was doing illegally, I think I was doing everything legally. So the police are mad at me for the stuff I did do. But what about all the mean and bad stuff I didn't do? I guess you can't have a good time anymore. I guess, yeah, can't vape while driving a Barbie car. So Nikita Morgan, who saw part of the incident as she drove in the openly and beside it,

and this is her quote i was cruising down the street right cruising right she asked the person who's asking her the question right she said in a facebook message to cbc news and this undercover unmarked police vehicle is behind me so i roll my window down and say don't let them catch you riding dirty he said i hope she was playing it a reference to a phrase popular than the 2005 camillian air song riding dirty it's just called riding that refers to uh driving while taking part in a legal When did that song come out? 2005, you were right. Holy crap.

You are a commillionaire of sorts. I've got to say, the reason I know that is because the weird Alliancovich parody that came out. What is it? Hey, however you get there. Something a nerdy. White and nerdy. They see me roll in my, they see me mow in my front lawn.

They rolled in their rice because I'm so bad and nerdy. Oh, come to me. She was surprised by the police got involved saying the driver of the little car appeared to be playing it safe. This is her opinion. Doing the best I can. Rapper Camillionaire sang about riding dirty, but Castle Lincoln was caught riding purdy in a pretty pink.

Oh, I don't like the writer of this article at all. He says, police nearly impounded the toy, which belongs to his friend's daughter, this is just underneath the thing. He said he didn't look like he was speeding to me. He was not speeding. No, there's slow. What don't you understand? I would have been killed immediately in that long walk movie.

because before they even left, they'd have to go more than three miles an hour. I'd be like, okay, so is that qualitative or quantity? So how are we calculating? Yeah, exactly. Like, what's the pace? They'd be like, so if I turn in a six minute, a six mile per hour, a mile,

I can then really die. Yeah. Nope. If I do a mile in, if I do a mile in 15 minutes, then can I drop down? Do you, one for me, situation? Royal Canadian Mounted Police, Jason, said they pulled Lincoln over for a traffic stop,

And in the course of talking to him, found out he had a suspended license and believed he was inebriated. He believed that he was. Later, verified by two-breath analysis tests, which Lincoln also confirmed to the CBC News. Lincoln then also told the police that said that the police told him, they had recovered multiple, received multiple calls about him

and told him he'd been driving in the middle of the road, which he denied, saying that for the majority of his journey, he'd been driving on the sidewalk until he saw a blocked off lane. I don't think you're supposed to drive that on the road. sidewalk no either like that's wrong he should said push it three miles an hour i he could have maybe wait wait wait here's my question are adults just not allowed to drive these cars is that the rule no on the road maybe on the road i think you mess with it okay none of the information was available to onlookers like i don't like any of this andria steward is there a go fund me right a mail carrier

who was leaving a nearby canada post office with her co-workers when they saw the barbie jeep coming towards them we were just kind of watching him living his best likes okay by the way just said why that means a male carrier was watching this guy driving what was technically also on the clock a male carrier that's right a male carrier he was he was he was the car itself this was a car itself was a male carrier correct he was just happy as a clam we were actually kind of jealous these are great quotes by the way this is great great reporting i've got to say this as someone who's been working on a show about a paper this is fantastic local reporting.

Unbelievable quotes. I don't like the jokes in it. Me. I just think the quotes in the reporting are top-notch. Stick to the quotes. Dial your comedy back as what I would say to this gentleman as well. It's already comedy. Don't put a hat on a hat. Don't put a hat on a hat. And literally

I'm going to say this to both. Don't put a head doll on a Barbie car. I'm going to say this to the guy who was arrested and to the writer of this article. Stay in your lane. There you go. The police action seems the police action seems a bit overkill, but that's just me. it was honestly epic i give the guy 10 stars where out of what and where like 10 stars we're on yelp what we're doing edit your quotes and he's in five stars the top several memes

poking fun at the incident have been created in sharing social media including one depicting the days events in the style of grand theft auto video game erin do we have that's very right that's very that is good this is where i like the internet let me just say this if al collings was driving o j simpson down the road in one of these grand theft Def Auto, L.A. Wait, O.J. Simpson wasn't driving himself? No. What?

Wait, for real? Several memes of the arrest. You're not, you're joking. I'm not joking. I thought O.J. Simpson led them on a white Bronco chase. You're joking. You're 100% joking. Al Collings, his friend was driving.

He was laying in the back seat saying, I'm going to kill myself. He wasn't driving. Al Collings kind of looked a little like in stature to O.J. And every once in a while, he would just start talking to O.J. Don't do it, O. Come on, man. Come on, juice. Don't do it like you did the night before.

But according to police, driving an unlicensed, motorized vehicle, even one that's made for a child on a road is meant for full-sized cars. It's against the law. Okay. RCMP Media Relations officer, staff sergeant, Chris Clark. That's the most police officer. But why? Why is it? Because are they going to be like, then next thing, you know, we're going to be marrying our dogs?

Right, right. Like they go. Driving an uninsured vehicle is sufficient grounds. Of course, it's not insured. It's a Barbie vehicle, especially when combined with other possible violations, including impairment. Kyla Lee, a Vancouver-based lawyer specializing in driving offenses, agreed with the police, saying it is a well-established. Wait, wait, a what? A Vancouver-based florist?

No, Vancouver-based lawyer specializing in driving offenses, agreed with the police, saying it is a well-established that toy vehicles are not allowed on the road. It's electric. It's not really. You are required to have a driver's license in British Columbia. His was suspended. If you're operating any motorized vehicle on the road. way that includes barbie cars toy cars electric skateboards what you need a license to do an electric skateboard anything like that is required to have a license and insurance a partial copy of the ticket

issued a link in it uh the make of the car was listed as power wheels the model barbie jeep yeah the fact that they had to fill this out is and what's did they have to put a color down pink that's that's that was the next thing color is pink uh cbc news you're dialed in was able to view i know a full you're in it you're not just paper on peacock Paper on Peacock. She said some of the cities are seeking to adopt the rules given the increased popularity of electric scooters, e-bikes. Jay, when we were in Houston, walking back to our hotel after doing shows at, we must have been so many electric scooters. Electric scooters.

With neon lights on them. And then, like, kind of, they're like bikes. They were kind of like e-bikes. Motor bikes. But they're in the streets. In the streets. Yeah. No rhyme or reason.

It's like freaking Tupac, Cal. It's that video. It's the evolution of the Paul Wall. I have a question. How long is this article? How fast I will get on it. But how fast do you think, we'll get off on this? How fast do you think the Barbie Jeep can drive?

Max speed with a kid. Max speed, how fast can the Barbie Jeep? But there you go. 15 miles an hour. Seven miles an hour. Five. Get your answers in townies. It can go.

Eight. Miles per hour. I'll take it. Almost on. Almost done. Hey, guess what? Lincoln is said he's arrested by police several times in the past, but this is the most hilarious one.

As a result of the incident, Lincoln said he's... This was my most hilarious arrest. Yes. My most hilarious arrest. Yes. There could be more, right? That's why it was taken into custody. He said he plans to dispute the ticket.

Plans to dispute it. How? He's got a lot of plans. I don't hold it against the police for bringing me in. He was really nice, Lincoln said of the arresting officer. He was filling out all. of his paperwork saying this is my first time but he also insists that he

had no idea. Also I did no idea he was breaking the law. I was using hand signals and everything. He said and Lincoln said he is taking it in stride enjoying the jokes and messages he's receiving for people who post about the rest. His takeaway don't don't

what is his takeaway? Let's end on this what. The takeaway is what do you think his takeaway is? I think it's going to be a serious one which is. All right, here's the thing. If you're a bad reporter. I think you'd say don't drink and drive. Okay. I think it's a good I think that's a good thing. You think that's the takeaway? I think that's his takeaway. Don't drink a drive. What do you

think? My takeaway is I guess you can't have fun in Catlotta. There you go. I know, but he's drunk. He says Catlata, but it's right? It had nothing to do with me not remembering. How does that? It's not the size of the truck. In the fight. No.

It's the motion of the... No, no. He conflates. The motion of the ocean. No, he'll, this is the one time the guy will ruminate on the thing he actually did and say, like, you shouldn't drink and drive, kids, something like that. I think Mark Twain said it best, I don't like you either. That's right. Courjada, my favorite vampire weekend song. That's what I was getting to. This will get out on this, and then JUF story number two. We'll find out what Alex is, how you can follow him and watch the paper, and he's got a big show coming up at Carnegie Hall. We'll talk about all that. His message,

and his final message was don't drink and drive you are a reporter all right we come back we got a lot stuff tell you what we have going on wow wow wow Alex two it's dumb people town with the great Alex Edelman we'll be right back stick around make us down come you down it's dumb people town hey townies I want to talk to you a little bit about ways to help yourself sleep better and I'm talking about gummies and I'm talking about THC I for a long time kind of didn't like jump into that wave and still was having trouble going to sleep. And then I started taking these gummies that we got from mood.com. And I'm telling you out in 15 minutes, up the next day, no hangover, feeling great.

I love these guys. I want to tell you all about them. It's online cannabis company. They're revolutionizing how we deal with life's challenges from, like I said, sleepless nights to the stress-filled days. Mood.com. They have created an entire line of functional gummies that target specific health concerns with 100% federally legal.

THC blend. They will deliver them discreetly to your doorstop. Step, stop, both. And you get 20% off your first order at mood.com with the promo code DPT. Here's what makes them different. They've paired THC and the other cannabinoids with herbs and adaptogens. Yes, I'm not talking like I'm in the movie Transformers. I'm talking about real things that make you feel better. You're not just going to find gummies like this at any dispensary or anywhere for that matter. They are special. They have gummies for literally everything. I'm going to tell you, immune support, menopause relief. I need to get more for my wife. PMS symptoms. Again for my wife. Mental clarity, sexual arousal, and each one is crafted using federally legal cannabis grown on small family-owned American farms, no pesticides, no BS,

and they can ship to most states in the U.S. Best of all, not only does Mood stand behind everything with an industry leading 100-day satisfaction guarantee, but as I mentioned, our listeners get 20% off their first order with the code. So head to mood.com, browse their amazing selection of functional gummies, and find the perfect gummy for whatever you're dealing with. And remember to use the code DPT at checkout, save 20% that lets them know that we sent you. Save 20% on your first order and get that sleep and feel the way you're supposed to feel, mood.com.

Hey, gang, welcome back to the show. Before we get into how you can watch the paper of which I am barreling through and I suggest everything to do this thing. It is so good. And you are so good. It is so good because it is many things. I get excited every time I see her face on a bus. Jay, let's tell them what we have going on and how people can see us and follow us.

I think we, this probably, hopefully will come out before October 4th, when we're at the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase. Two shows in Ann Arbor, we're going to sell them out. I really want to get your tickets now. I love, I mean, it's a homecoming town for the boys. Homecoming weekend. Michigan.

Wait, wait, Michigan playing that week? Wisconsin, yeah. Oh, that's going to be amazing. It's going to be there. And there's a chance. There's a chance. I can't believe I'm even saying this out last. Don't. Okay. I won't.

Or do. I don't know what it is. You know, I don't believe. That a Harbaugh stops by? I don't believe in bad luck anymore. I just did either will happen or it won't. And I'm saying there's a chance. I'm saying there's a percentage that we will get an opportunity to be a part of Fox Big Noon, which is as celebrity pickers, which would be phenomenal. So, outside chance.

And then come see us at Flyover Festival in St. Louis on November 16th. Live down people town with the great Rory Scoville and Daniel Van Kirk. And then at the pageant theater. Pageant Theater. live one you would be great at a live one i've never played i've never played st louis i've never gotten and do it ever what are you doing on the 16th of november you want to be our second guest on that carnegie hall you oh that's a great segue okay so you're at carnegie hall in the 16th of november wait let me check is that sundays it's a sunday no i'm there on the 15th but i'm sorry to fly to st louis on

sunday and do the live on you're invited you're invited let me see so november 15 dude i would go crazy hall number 15 i'm going to see if you can do this we'll take you you out for great St. Louis food. You'll lose your brain. You can stay at our house with our mom. Dan stayed at our house. This deal is getting sweeter. Stay at our children. But I just think of you finishing your show and being like, I got a flight in the morning. Yeah. I got to go to St. No, maybe. Fly midday. Fly midday. Fly back in time. Are you guys doing these punch? Are you guys on punchup? Yeah, we are. I love punchup. By the way, follow us on punchup. Live. I go there to see my dates.

Your dates are there. I'm there. I'm going to be in Cincinnati and Columbus, October 15. And 16th, I'm in Boston on the 18th at the Wilbur, and we added a second show. I mean, DC on the 26th, Cleveland on the 13th, not to brag. November 15th, Carnegie Hall, November 20th, and Scottsdale. Okay, 16th, you can come back and you can go to St. Louis. I'm going to talk to you about this. Seriously, that would be so fun. I want to do it.

I want to do a dumb people town live. You absolutely should do a live one, and you absolutely see St. Louis with us. We really want to see St. Louis. Okay, we're going to try and make this happen. We're going to figure this out. And then also, guys, watch the paper. It's on Peacock. It's on Peacock.

I love how it just changes and morphs. I'm like, is this a two-hander? And then I'm like, no, it's a forehander. Then I'm like, it's totally an ensemble show. It's also, it's an ensemble show totally led by Donald. Like, you know, Donald's, Donald Gleason is the, he's amazing. He's so funny. He's amazing.

He's funny. And Sabrina and Tim, you know, it's a funny show. Tim Key is just, everybody's great. Everyone is great, and you get to be hilarious in it, which I love. Like, every time you're on screen, you score, I love your character. I love how, like, they just offhandedly said, you're really religious, which makes you not aware of you. Oh, I'm really Christian.

Yeah, that makes it. Which is so funny. Which is so funny, and it makes you not. I wrote that for myself. That's so funny, and it makes you not, it kind of explains a little stupidity on some level. I'm a religious person with zero skills. That's right. I love it.

you're willfully ignorant I just am like Amy and I just started bare I captured her while she was doing work on the couch and I'm like we're gonna start this we're gonna start watching and we zipped through like five episodes in one sitting it's a quick the show moves quick I mean I wrote episode seven so I've got I'm a little partial to that

I'm excited I can't wait with the great Alan Havy I love Alan Havy Alan's tape came in and we were looking for the boss and I'm like that guy just so you guys know they stand-up legend also great on madmen also great on men in the high castle like he's a good also great on curb great actor unbelievable and he plays so like he is that guy he's like you know people who kind of just look up and they're not even paying attention that is who he is in this he's a he's a

great actor and if there's any justice there'll be he used to do short attention span theater pre mark marron way back in the day on comedy i'm not comedy channel i am not surprised by that at all So anyway, go check it out. Peacock, stream the whole day. All right, I'm going to jump in on this story. Okay, here we go. Sent it by Sean Anderson at Sean 70. Doctor.

Oh, Sean Anderson. I've been on a dumb people telling the Sean. Oh, yeah, he's done some stories. Here's the headline. Doctor walked out of operation for sex with nurse. Oh, my God. Wait, what? So the doctor's performing an operation and in the middle is like, let's go.

We can stick a clamp in this and then go stick my clamp in that. That seems a good deal more serious. than driving a Barbie dream car down the side of the highway. Have you ever gotten a human angioplasty? Wait, here's my question. Scrove in and out. What was the operation? Here we go, I don't know.

A doctor left a patient on an operating table on her anesthetic to go have sex with a nurse in another room. A medical tribunal has heard. Oh, my God. Dr. Suhawangam, which sounds like something. He gave her an angium. Well, Suhawangium is like this is something we did to get your heart. Your father is a doctor.

Yeah, I'm like horrified about this. When people are having toured affairs, you know, they love to be like, we shouldn't be doing this. That's never more apropos. We shouldn't be doing this. It's genuine malpractice. It really is. We really shouldn't be doing this.

You have to love someone's personality. Shake those hippas. Right. You have to love someone's personality because they're masked up. Hippas don't lie. They're masked up. You're just looking at the eyes. It's childbirthing hippas.

You're just looking at a person's eyes. So whatever they're conveying in that moment is like, it's go time is like literally just right here. Here we go. The unnamed nurse were caught on the... Who looks hot in scrubs? I'm not going to tell you. Everyone, there's a lot.

Stop. Caught in a compromising position by a shocked colleague at Tameside Hospital in Greater Manchester. This is England, baby. This is a England, baby. As soon as you said tribunal. This is England baby. This is socialized medicine. Do they have to put up in the wigs?

It's very social. They put the social and socialized medicine. Overly socialized medicine. This is sexualized medicine. The incident in September 20th. 23 came to light in a fitness to practice hearing after Dr. Anjim, who had been living in Pakistan, applied to work in the UK again. He did not dispute the evidence against him presented by the general medical counsel during

the hearing in Manchester and said his behavior has been shameful. At least he recognizes it. I don't have a successful operation. Of course. I mean, which one? Well, the patient was satisfied. Everybody was satisfied. Scalpel.

Let's go. Butt plug. The consultant. No, cut that one out. But anesthesiologist, or as I say, leave it. Leave it. Leave it in. Had said he needed a comfort break. Well, I mean, this is the most comfort break.

I love a broad generalization. I need a comfort break. I mean, for him, he's like, by the way, rub my shoulders. Does it make it worse that, like, oh, then maybe it's fine. Massage my back, now my front. And another nursing colleague to monitor the middle. I would say it doesn't make it worse if it's not his wife, if it's like in a No, I'm saying like

If they're consenting adults If there's a comfort break He's like, I need a comfort break Someone else take over Yeah, she didn't say take over He said watch this Said to another nurse Watch this patient

I'll be right back We'll be right back We'll be right back after these messages Stop Instead he went to another Instead he went to another Operating Theater At the hospital

Yeah So he wanted the seats Yeah you got like Like I think of all the operating theaters on the nick. That's exactly. You don't know? Chris Sullivan.

At the hospital in Ashton under Lynn, where he had sex with a woman referred to in the hearing as nurse C, which, come on, do you have to call it? Well, you already had sex with nurse A. That's right. That's right. He gave her a hep C. The only way to go from it. Andrew Malloy represented the GMAC said the nurse who walked in on the pair had been

shocked and quickly walked through the theater to the exit doors. Why do you have to walk through the theater? She was like, I would walk through the theater. Would you clear your throat vigorously? I'm not looking. I'm not looking. I'm not looking. I'm not looking. Do you guys know where the... Sorry, I forgot something. Sorry. I just had to come back in house.

Do we get an hour or a half hour for comfort break? Dr. Angium, who's gone for how many minutes? Let's just guess how many minutes it took him to do his biz. I mean, what if he's a fast worker? You're going to say 15 again? 15 miles an hour? I'm going to say seven. Seven pumps?

I'm going to go 11. Yeah, I think... I'm going to steal his... I think 15 minutes. All right. One of you is one minute off. 14 minutes. Eight.

All right. Get your answers in. Eight minutes. Hey. I'm not good at determining the speed of Barbie dream cars, but maybe you're taking an illicit break from an operation to have sex with a colleague. This is your forte here. Dr. Boyd had eight minute ass.

Eight minute ass. It's eight minute ass. All right. It is right to say that no harm came to the patient. So we need to say that. And Dr. Ansham was absent from the theater. Yeah. The procedure went on without further in it.

He's only putting it an artificial art. Yeah. No, it was a penis extension. What was the operation? What was the operation? That is the question. He said the nurse who discovered them went on to report the matter. You know, he begged her.

Please don't. Please don't. Did he? No. But the, before the case was open. We could participate. We can, this could be us next time. He didn't dispute the facts.

So I do like in a world where, you know, we are now in the shaggy rules of the thing. It wasn't me, even though you saw me on the bathroom floor. That's the, everybody's modus operandi is, it wasn't me. No, what the operation was. I have to know, okay, potential risk. The insertion of a trick knee. Hold on. He said, a trick, what did you say?

Insertion of something. I need to know what this operation is. Speaking of trick, so we can get out of this. Trick-joke bucket. Trick-knee, please. He said he knew she was likely to be nearby when he left his patient. He also admitted his actions had the. potential to put his patient at risk.

Sure. Dr. Anjim told the medical practitioners' tribunal service that he wanted to resume his career in the U.K. You can't. He said there's a lot of betty's in those nursing stations. He did not. He promised there would never be a repeat of a one-off error in judgment. Oh, I should hope so.

Well, do you trust him? Two off, maybe. I know. Giving evidence, Dr. Andrews said, it was quite shameful to say the least. I only have myself to blame. I like that. He said he let the colleagues in the NHS trust down. He added, I offer my sincere apologies to everyone involved, and I want the opportunity to put this right.

The doctor added, the incident happened after a stressful time for his family when he and his wife were failing to connect as a couple. Okay. Following a premature derr. It's an affair. Following a premature birth of his daughter. Okay. So do I feel bad for him? I don't feel bad for him.

Following the premature birth of his daughter? It was an affair. He was a married doctor. Mary doctor. By the way, his premature daughter catching strays in this story. I know. Why are you blaming her for him? You know, if it's eight minutes,

it's not the only thing that's premature. Hey! Doctor, you're wanted in comedy surgery. I thought eight minutes was so long. Let's get out of here on this. I heard it take six minutes to get to in front of the theater. That's right. That is true.

It's still impressive. He's not warming up. All right. Like father, like daughter. Eight minutes, he was ready. He was ready to go. He was out. Eight minutes.

He was out early. The scrubs were showing. uh he was nicholas cage he was gone in sixty seven minutes of cleanup is that a scrub or a tent hello nurse hello nurse uh how old let's get out of here on this how old is dr sue hale and jum um uh he's been around the block a little bit he has a small kid i think 43 that's exactly the number i was going to say i'll go somewhere else okay Alex you first i'm going to go 31 Dan. No, no, no, no, he's out. He's out. No, he's out.

He's out. And he's applying, so he's not got seniority. But he was there, but he was trying to come back? He's trying to come back. He's trying to come back. He was. I'm going to go with 34. I'm going to go 35. Okay, 35.

One of you is one year off. No, uh, 44. 32. You can go 44? 34. 34, that's what? 44 years. Hey!

Oh, my gosh. I know T Story 3. We got a stinky assistant teacher. Boo. Alex Edelman is with us. Two things. You got to watch the paper. He's amazing on it.

Go see him in Carnegie Hall. Go see him in Carnegie Hall. It's sold out. You can't. Oh, you can't? So then maybe come see him. We're going to push this on you. We're going to push him to try and make this happen.

If we can make this happen. I will tell you this. If it happens, it'll go on my punch-up live first. Punch-up. I'll tell you you're not paying a cent. We're going to make them fly you in. and you will figure something out. I'm sorry, let me look at it.

Dan, you're not paying anything. I'm sorry, let me look into it. Okay, we'll be right back one night. More Dumb People Town right after this. Stick around, make a sound, bunker down is Dump People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. The great Alex Edelman, our good friend, is with us.

The paper, you got to see it. Go see it. Well, just check his live dates at punchup. Live so you can, and we're on there, too, by the way, follow us. Yeah, it's great. It is a great resource. We're starting to put clips on there.

I love those. guy the guy who runs it is phenomenal Danny is just amazing and he's trying to in a good way start to do ticketing for all the events give the power back get the power back and he I love the whole concept of punchup dot live that's a great way to find all of our dates Daniel before you jump in the story please let people know where they can see you check out the midnight air if you haven't already it's a great little overnight radio podcast that I do and then also let me ask Daniel vancirk.com Alex was there an overnight radio show that your parents listened to in Boston. No, no, my parents were always

asleep, but I hosted one in London for a little while. No! I was fired because I played Rhinestone Cowboy 81 times in a row. Nothing wrong with that. That feels like something you would do on the middle of air today. People really did not like it and we would take

calls from people who are really upset because obviously... That's a song you could hear but also like when it starts. I've been walking these streets along people um people got really upset and i i i apologize to the people at nrs radio in london i knew not actually i knew exactly what i was doing it was tough actually titties shut up it was fucking hilarious it was hilarious you didn't you didn't get i would definitely talk about that song

i remember for that on the midnight air and then you go to daniel vankirk dot com i will be at flyover comedy festival 13 14 15th and of course the 16th for a live dumb people town that's in st louis and also I'm doing a fundraising charity show for Habitat for Humanity. Oh, that's cool. On the 22nd of November. No, it's in the big theater there. Nice.

And then doing some shows. I'll probably jump on Canaan Show for Thanksgiving. At Talia Hall right before Thanksgiving. Everything's up at Daniel van kirk.com. Let's do a little story. What do you say, guys? This was sent in by Kyle Andrews at Late Night Nachos. But he got some love, so I will say that it was also sent in by

at bad liver at not your average mat at nick depay and at kevin star one three so people see these and they send them in yeah so people find the stories and sometimes when i put this in that's everybody who had sent it to me so far great the funny thing is is i saw this in the wild and i go i should just put this in the dock that we make for these of myself and i go no someone guarantee somebody's already sent it to me it's great yeah i love this that's how you know it's like striking a chord with our listeners. What is it going to be? Assistant teacher arrested for stinking up school with a fart spray.

It's got to be a farts spray. Why? Nobody wants this. This is not a funny joke. It deserves arrest. Farts sound, you know, the little like the thing in the, the, even so. But did you guys when you were in junior higher high school have anybody do like fart bomb, like stink smell things like in the hallway?

No. Yep. We had it too. Never thought it was funny. I don't find farts particularly hilarious. I know I'm like the only guy If the kid does it and laughs quietly to themselves That's funny

Sure If people react to it In a certain way That's funny I think the sound of the slime Inside the cup If you make the sound of it I'm okay with that

But doing like a Conceptual though It's like It's not even comedic You wanted to affect something You wanted to feel like You were important And you could affect the matrix

So you're like we did it And this is a teacher This is a teacher Dan Yeah Florence South Carolina a teaching assistant Florence South Carolina home of Jim Rice

Has been arrested following a series of disturbances at a high school where a mysterious odor plagued the campus for weeks Ready for this name Alexander Paul Robertson Lewis Which sounds like it's part of

Fuck you He is his own law firm Look at him Wow he looks like Paul Walter Houser If he got him from TV Does he look like he needed the spray? My name is Alexander Paul Walter Lewis I know I did it in my head

It's too many I even thought if you take out the paul, is it enough. And there's a thousand farts I haven't let. Sprayed. Sprayed. Just you wait. Just you wait. I'm unhappy.

Alexander Paul Robertson Lewis, APRL, faces charges of disturbing schools and malicious injury to property after allegedly using a spray designed to mimic the smell of feces. Deputy said, deputies said. It's not funny. This is a guy who's never said anything funny. By the way, the first day of school. Cool. Do you think he's like, my name is Mr. Alexander, Paul, Robert Wilson. Wilson, Lewis. Sorry.

They said that APRL purchased the spray online and used it multiple times between August 25th and September 19th. This dude is doing this for almost a month. I bet he also owns one of those. Also, school just started. He's a serial stinker. Does he own like one of those flashlights you can drive your car over? He did this causing significant disruptions. The odor reportedly triggered health issues among students and staff. I'm not saying it isn't annoying. It's not health issues.

Including headaches, nausea, and dizziness, and resulted in how much money in inspection and air conditioning repairs costs for the district. $180,000. Fair guess? $12,000. $55,000. Dude, that is his salary. Now, I went and looked up. You should have to pay that.

I went and looked up. You should have to pay it. fart spray and the first thing to come back was something called liquid ass yes look at the yes it says liquid ass fart prank it's that's the bottle it for that small of a bottle that tells you it says made in USA imagine imagine working at the liquid ass factor hey liquid ass not caring about tariffs no liquid ass right here we do it here it's like stone cold steve austin for liquid I am right dude

you know what hot sauce is in a stupid what should we put on the cover of liquid at like just to let people of the goddamn big john port-a-potty yeah hell yeah go go out brown vapors around it what is the bugs flying around it once the eyes are bugging out he's covering his nose of the bandana don't you think this goes by the same theory of the smaller the hot sauce bottle the more potent is yeah the scoville scale for her the roaring

If there is a hot sauce bottle that's this big, I'd walk away. You can't even look at it. Walk away. So I went and looked up fart spray, which became liquid ass. How much do you think it costs? 12.95. Yeah, that's what I'm going on.

I'm going to guess 2499. Both of us. It cost $12.99. That's exactly what I was told you. I know. You were. I'll go different. Oh, my God.

No. I can't. That was straight up against. I never bought it, never bought it. I will tell you it's ridiculous, but I'm interested to hear your version. How many bottles did you buy? How many reviews do you think have been left of Liquid Ass? Oh, um, I want to say $1,200.

Exactly the number I was thinking. You two are locked in. Literally, exactly. How much is it? 33,131. What? How many? How many?

What do you think the rating is? You want to go first so he doesn't steal your... Out of five stars? Out of five stars. I'm going to count to three and you guys say it at the same time and see how dialed in here. Out of five stars.

One, two, three, four point two. I said four point seven. I said four point two. Tell me it's four point five. The answer is four. Mm-hmm. Point six. Ah!

Yeah, don't leave a man out there like that. There we go. So crazy. Oh, my God. 33,000. There was, the top review was a woman. who said, I sprayed liquid ass in my house has never been cleaner because her boyfriend was

convinced there was something horrible in their apartment and cleaned the entire apartment. That is, she goes, I'm going to use this the rest of my life. That is genius. He cleaned our cats' paws. He cleaned the cat. He cleaned the garbage can. No one for their children. No one's like, my son, you know.

I didn't go that. But like, that's like a weird thing. That's like we put peanut butter on the top of a tree and now we don't have raccoons in our yard. Exactly. That's like such a misdirect. This is how locked in Alex Edelman is. He just said a joke quote that is the first two words of the quote,

I'm about to read next. My son has asthma. This is back to the story. His asthma has been triggered multiple times because of this, and I had to take him to the doctor three times, said a parent. Oh, my God. Alexander Paul Robertson Lewis appeared in court where a judge set his total bond

at just over $9,000. That is not enough money. The malicious injury. $55,000 of air conditioning. The malicious injury to personal property charge would be addressed in general Sessions Court on November 19th with a bond set at $8,000. Did he lose his job?

The charge of it, oh, of course. Hey, we don't have a girls volleyball team this year because Mr. Lewis was farting around. The charge of interfering with schools would be heard in Florence magistrates court on October 15th with a bond of 1,000. $90. Right to fucking Jam. It might be my favorite sentence. Put him

away. He's not interested in making any comment at this time. A man who said he was Lewis's brother told ABC News on Tuesday when reached my phone. The brother is also annoyed. Well, the brother also is like a man in a picture of the brother. Like do we

do we even buy that this man is his brother? He just says he is. Would you claim if he wasn't? No, but like maybe that's a friend of his to be like... I would disown the motherfucker. Oh my God. I I'm a forgiving man. But I made a comedy special about empathy. I think you, this, you sir, deserve liquid butt.

You deserve some Greek torture. Agreed. Agreed. Agreed. A Greek afterlife torture where it's the only thing you can smell. As funny as you thought this was, that's how much people should be able. Comedy jailed to you, sir. You never get to make a joke again.

Bad. Or buy a product. We'll get out of here with this. Authorities indicated that additional. charges against Alexander Paul Robertson Lewis it's hard to do we're possible it's too many syllables yes too many names we'll leave you leave you here how old is Alex is Alexander Paul Robertson he's 37 years old I saw him yeah you both saw him he's 33 33 I think he's 37 one of you is one year off go up or down a year let's see if you're here he's 34 he's 36 okay

Alexander Paul Robertson Lewis oh he's a Paul Rob blue all the way by the way phenomenal episode Alex Edelman You are a dream boat He might We're gonna try and make it happen He might be a part of our This is so much fun

I always love doing this show But if not Next time we go to New York And you're in town We'll better be our guests We'll do a lot We'll do a lot of it does Let's do St. Louis

But we got nothing on the books We got no plans So we got to make this happen now Seize the day All right here he is APRL is 32 years old Oh I went the wrong way

32 is a young And he's just a baby He's an idiot never dated you know what forgive him I trust someone who said he was his brother all right guys that is a show we love you thank you for listening thanks for supporting

this is just a fun break from the crazy ass world there is dumb in this world and we are here to fight with comedy and oh snap we gotta get back to work we'll see you peace peace guys