Dumb People Town - Ali Siddiq - You're In Trouble

Episode Date: February 17, 2026

Comedian Ali Siddiq (Tour and Specials) stops by as Randy describes how an adult performer named Kinky Kelli got arrested for peeing on groceries, Jason explains why a man tried to order Rally's at KF...C and led police on a scooter chase, and Daniel warns against robbing people for not buying you Wendy's, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsors: ASCPA Pet Insurance and Hims! To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/DPT  To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit Hims.com/DPT. 

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's everybody? It is a great episode of Dumb People Town. We have Ali Sadeek with us. You need to listen to this because we got a pea spree. We got ordering the wrong food at the wrong place. And then a holdup of epic proportions. Yeah, I would say so. Of a man whose age, you cannot guess. But you'll try. It's all on this week's episode of Dumb People Town. Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of hope so unaware they lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose will make the news. Breaking down each epic bail in Florida. There's half-rice, I'm happy to say they Good in the podcast jam With co-host our man Dan Bender's don't be a jerk Because when the music Which the funny hits and wait
Starting point is 00:00:50 Stick around Don't People Town Hey Tadies welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town Population you Population Sadiq Ali Sadiq What's up my dude
Starting point is 00:01:02 I wish I was in on You're right You're ready we'll do it again Welcome to Dumb People Town There you go Welcome to town, dude. Welcome, dude. You got special coming out.
Starting point is 00:01:14 You got good stuff. You got out already. You got good stuff. We're going to talk about all that. We got to get in some dumb stories first. You ready to just talk about some dumb people doing dumb things. As you know, world's getting dumber. Every single second.
Starting point is 00:01:25 Thank you. So we try and fight it with comedy. So let me jump into the story that I found sent in by me. Here you go. All right, here we go. And this is December 1st. This is a New Hampshire woman known as Kinky Kelly. Okay.
Starting point is 00:01:40 K-I and K-I This is who Drake was singing about That's right Kinky. All right Do you wait Does she call herself Kinky Kelly?
Starting point is 00:01:46 She calls something I guarantee she gave herself that She gave her something And only fans We'll see how boobs are huge Right Well we're gonna find out
Starting point is 00:01:54 You know what There is a thing Where if it's the contrary Oh She's small But you're right In like the adult performer world If the
Starting point is 00:02:05 If it's a KK I have no knowledge Of the dope performance world I don't It's a very, so man of God. If the first day and last name is a k-k-k sound, it is always large. He's just like, I'm glad there is my third K. I have friends in the industry.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Two Ks we can take. Two Ks I can take. Two K is good. Two K is good. Third K is out. Do you ever in a text someone be like KKK and you're like, whoa. Are you saying okay or what are we doing now? Now we moved into a different text change.
Starting point is 00:02:34 I would write back, screenshot, canceled, blocked. Right. Okay. Okay, what does it mean? Kinky, Kellyn. Kinky Kelly, two case. We'll spend... Actually, three if she's doing a second case.
Starting point is 00:02:45 We'll spend several months behind bars, and we'll talk about how many. For a criminal mischief spree, during which she filmed herself, urinating on food at a supermarket and on various items at a Marriott Hotel. Oh, she's way too kinky. Right? She's insane, though. Kelly Tedford will get her age later. Today pleaded guilty peeing on the cheeses?
Starting point is 00:03:06 It's right. Class A misdemeanor. If you're in there and that's happening, you don't ever go to that grocery store again. I know, man. I think this is becoming a thing. A guy just confessed in Houston to putting his penis and his balls and things in the restaurant. No. No.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Into food? And he worked for the restaurant? And he worked for the restaurant? No. Yeah. They lost customers. I'm never eating a Popeye chicken. I'm never eating.
Starting point is 00:03:33 Actually, you were closed. I was going to say Papa? I was going to say Long John Silver. I was something weird restaurant down. town. No, no change. No change. Weird guy. Like a dishwasher that was... Shut up. Shut up. God.
Starting point is 00:03:45 Also, if you're working there, you're like, stop this man. Also, if that's... Why is he need the keys at 6 a.m.? They photographed him. They had video of it. Oh, okay. It's wow. I thought you said he admitted to it, which I was going to say... He did admitted to it in court. After they called him, he admitted to it. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:04:00 Oh, we have video. You got it to do it. But before I knew that there was evidence, I was like, look, if that's your thing, you get caught, you don't tell people you did it. But you say he had evidence. He said he had to. Like, you can't just be like my balls were hacked. Like your phone. Anyway, new balls, who dis?
Starting point is 00:04:15 All right. Today, pleaded guilty in connection with their vile antics earlier in Keene, a city in Cheshire County. Tedford's sentenced to, we'll do this later in jail, but a judge suspended half of that. So she'll be required to serve. But if you're peeing in a grocery store, Randy, the first thing you do, okay, this is on you. Also, cameras everywhere in a grocery store. If you get to three or four items, at what point do you? you start going to the grocery store, hey guys.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Stop her. Depends how much she has to pee. Maybe she was looking for depends. Thank you. She's like, we got an incontinence. And I would just say that depends. Ben here. All right.
Starting point is 00:04:53 Word turns. She's ordered to pay. How much money do you think she was ordered to pay in restitution? Well, okay. $60. That's nice. That's really nice. I'll save $1,000.
Starting point is 00:05:05 What do you think? Because they got to throw all that shit away. Well, yeah, they're going to say, yeah, they're going to lose. all that. You don't pee on one box of crackers. By the way, it's like... And you got to doosh that, you got to clean that soup. You got to spray it down. You got to bring in, like, go toosh it.
Starting point is 00:05:18 You know what I'm saying? You got to get the people with the hazmat suit in there. Vinegar and water. Viguer and water. Dip the whole thing in vinegar. The whole thing has got to be clean. You don't know where she has peed that you haven't found out. This is going to be way more than 60 bucks. What do you think?
Starting point is 00:05:32 I'm going to go, I'm going to go $5,000 and that's low for what she probably did. She is ordered to pay. this is very specific, $10,520. $0.59. Yeah, they did some actual math on products. She got to pay for the items. She got to pay the items and the cleaning.
Starting point is 00:05:48 They're mathing out the product. To the Mononok Food Co-op for contaminating grocery items and forcing the business to discard inventory and sanitize the shelves. That's what we said. I said it. I don't think many grocery stores would allow you to pee on various items, not even whole foods. Let me just say that. That wasn't written.
Starting point is 00:06:04 I said that. Tedford, we're awful. Air one, though. they put that in a smoothie. They put that in a smoothie there. Tedford will also have to pay how much to the Marriott where she relieved herself on a Bible, comfort her blankets, curtains, and air conditioner unit. She also,
Starting point is 00:06:20 how do you? Maybe, maybe, I don't know about the, the, in the room. In the room. Yeah. It could have been, that could have been a session. Yes, yeah. Is each time in each a different place she's peeing again? Because I, it's hard for me to like, on demand, do all that.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Like, how much did she drink? What I don't think we've tapped into here is this. This has got to be like an only fan situation. It is. She's an only fan's person. So this is like probably what she is. Yeah, she's making content. This is the fetish that people want to see.
Starting point is 00:06:47 This is her bits. Oh, what a terrible. So we can't blame her. We're blaming the algorithm. Blame the algorithm on this. The judge barterter. How much did she have to pay the Marriott, do you think? Oh, she's got to pay two different people.
Starting point is 00:07:01 And the Marriott, too. Oh, the Marriott wants some paper. Yep. The cost of the room plus interdals. Yeah. Cost of the room plus interdals. The $50 charge, that hole? I'm thinking of the person who has to clean that up later.
Starting point is 00:07:12 That son of a bitch. I'm going to save $4,000. I'm going to go another 10G. Another 10G? What do you think? For the Marriott, the cost of them rooms, we definitely go on $15, $15.000. You are not going to believe this.
Starting point is 00:07:29 Only $500. What is going on? Marriott. Cost of the room plus incidentals. Thank you. Called it. You did call it. You know why?
Starting point is 00:07:36 Because in a hotel, they're probably. that blanket again. Exactly. They're probably like, we've had way worse. I hope not. Judge Bart Tepford from return to either businesses
Starting point is 00:07:45 and has ordered her to continue with all of the mental health counseling she needs. She does not have a mental health problem. She just is making money doing this. She's just got a business solution. She's peeing on business. She's not standing on it.
Starting point is 00:07:59 She's being on business. The way they use mental health to get out of some. Right. Okay. So that's what that sounds like to me. It's like I'll go to counseling. I'm sick.
Starting point is 00:08:08 Yeah. I need help. Detective believe that Tedford's peace free was recorded for survive. A peace free. Peace free. Recorded for subscribers to her for how much did the subscribers pay per month? This is what I wanted to get to. How much is it worth it?
Starting point is 00:08:27 Because if she's making $40K a month. I'm going to say right now, this is where we're going to regret being comics and not peeing on things. We're still time, guys. There's still time. I mean, look, I know, like, as comics, we emotionally shit on things. Okay, that's what we do. But, like, as real, this is a real. Because we're out, and we're all doing fine.
Starting point is 00:08:47 We're all doing great in our careers. We're lucky. We're working. But we are not this one. How much do people pay per month to watch her peon to be in her only fan-sum? For her piece. Do she have a trial, like a seven, like a 31-day trial for like $7? No.
Starting point is 00:09:04 But I will say, this gives new meaning to live. stream. There you go. Come on. She live streamed the last movie. She did live stream the rest of it. How much do you think her subscribers? Alex Adiique, do you want to go first or last?
Starting point is 00:09:17 Oh no, I'll go last on that. Okay. Jay, what do you think? I bet she gets $20,000 a month. No, no, per person. Per person. Oh, what does she charge each subscriber? For a month.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Oh, okay. For a month? Oh, just description. Yeah, what's her subscription? 100 bucks. 100 bucks a month? No. Five bucks a month.
Starting point is 00:09:33 What do you think? I'm going, I'm going to go. Price is right. I'm going to go one 10 a month. All right. She charges her people. Yeah. $15 a month. Yeah, close to her. Damn. Which is she Netflix? Well, her only fans is an age has been deleted. Yeah, she's Netflix. People are stealing all the passwords. How is there not? A only fan's competitor called NutFli. She described herself. Nutflix. Yes. How is that now? Submissive pixie, fetish, kink-friendly extremes to her account also offered custom content. Yeah. Paid sexting session. She's doing it all. Woman is working hard.
Starting point is 00:10:10 She's like pee cameo. I'm not here to yuck people's young. She is pee camio. Pea on this pineapple. It's for my brother. What? Wait a minute. Tedford's only fan's account noted that her
Starting point is 00:10:22 prior page, Petit Princess, got banned. Explicit videos of Tedford remained online, including one clip of showing her urinating on new garments of clothing in a clothing store changing room. I mean, I get why she changed her name. Part of it is... Tedford.
Starting point is 00:10:36 Yeah, part of it, part of the fetish. The repeat offender. She's right. Repeat offender. You think the judge was like, you're in trouble. So we're going to get out of here on this first story. No, she'd be on the stand. Yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 00:10:50 You're in trouble. You're in trouble. You're in trouble. You're in trouble. I keep repeating. You're in town. I heard you. I heard you. I heard you the first time.
Starting point is 00:10:57 I know. And it got what it deserved. It got exactly what it deserved. I'm pissed. What can I say? So it is how old. is Kelly, Kinky Kelly, Double K.
Starting point is 00:11:09 Oh, she is. All right, we'll see your photo. Oh. She's not even like, but not what I pictured. I see the $15. Ali, you see her walking down the street. You're like, this woman is not a destructive human being, right? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:11:23 She's not a $15. A month. Yeah, I don't know. It's all about what you do. Is she going I-E on that Kelly spelling or is it a real crazy? K-E-L-L-I. Oh, okay. It's the eye.
Starting point is 00:11:33 I don't want to she peeing in the boots. I think she's squishing around in there. These boots were made for P. I'm going to go. She is 23 years old. Okay. Jay, what do you think? 26.
Starting point is 00:11:50 I'm going to go 21. One of you is one year off. So we can all go up a year or down a year? I'll go 24. 24? 25. You go 20 or 22, sir? 22.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Okay. Get your answers in, Tannies. we'll find out about his special right at the peeing princess the peeing princess is 24 years old oh daniel good nice word all right that story one down the books we'll tell you we have going on alice sadique is our guest very excited to have this man on our show and we're already we're off and running we're having a good time this is dumb people town he's a huge white shoe in in his thing yeah the person watching is being like is he about to be kicked no he's right there we'll be right back all shoes matter or dumb people town right after this
Starting point is 00:12:34 Stick around. Make a sound. Come you down. It's dumb people town. All right, I want to talk about my pets, guys. I love Ziggy and Panyo. My two doggies. I brought one of them into work,
Starting point is 00:12:45 and he would not stop breathing. He actually disrupted the entire writer's room for about an hour and a half. But then everyone wanted a pet. Everybody wanted it. He's so good. I just couldn't be away from him. I love my doggy so much.
Starting point is 00:12:55 And if you feel the way I feel about my pets, about your pets, which I'm sure you do. I know everybody does. I want to tell you about this. So let's talk about what your sponsor. You want to take care of them right. way and I've got a quick message from today's sponsor the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. They're amazing.
Starting point is 00:13:12 I love these guys. You know, and Randy, you just mentioned this. Your pet is part of your family. Totally is. You want to do everything for them. But those vet bills. Oh, those vet bills. Yeah.
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Starting point is 00:14:06 Visit ASPCA pet insurance.com slash Amazon terms for more info. This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance.
Starting point is 00:14:28 Hey, everybody, ED is more common than you think and is simpler to treat than ever. me repeat that second part simpler to treat than ever through hymns you can connect online with a license provider and access to personalized treatment options discreetly and on your own terms yeah let me say this like you said hymns offers access to ed treatment options ranging from personalized products to trusted generics that cost oh 95 percent less than brand names if prescribed you should you here's the deal you should do it this way because you shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself.
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Starting point is 00:16:15 have going on allie we uh j and i you can see us go to superscleros.com you can see us in new orleans we're going to be there on the uh 21st and 22nd if this doesn't come out i think it will come up before uh sports drink great club small super cool Andrew Stevens down there we got two shows Friday two show Saturday it's right after Marty gras this is Sclardi Gras. Come to have a good time. Come on. It's going to be a blast.
Starting point is 00:16:37 And then we have other good stuff. Netflix is a joke festival out here. We're going to be doing a live tag it, which, where our friends come up and do their sets, and we are writing tags that we then pitch them afterwards on stage. Super fun. Wow. People have left that show with tags that they use in their specials. So we are very proud of the work that we do on that show.
Starting point is 00:16:56 That'll be May 5th at the UCB on Franklin. Hopefully that thing will sell out. We'll get good people on it. again, superscolars.com for all that stuff. You, sir, tell the good people what you have going on so they know what's up. Oh, I don't even really know what I have going on.
Starting point is 00:17:12 Like, what part of it? Like, I have a new special out Monday. It's been out for a month. That's okay. Great. That's all right. But, you know, I have a new one coming out in March. What? Holy crap. Come on. So what's the one that's out now that we can send people directly to go see right now? Mondays. Mondays. Okay. It's called Mondays.
Starting point is 00:17:31 Mondays. And they can go where to watch. on my YouTube page. Okay, great. Support it. This is how comics... You already shot the one in March? Yes, I have...
Starting point is 00:17:41 It's not a brag. No, go for it. Four specials in the can. No way, dude. And I shoot again in February 27th and... Tell me, I mean, it is... As comics, we, like, rack our brains
Starting point is 00:17:57 to try and, like, figure out how are we going to come up with the next chunk? What is the next hour? go bit by bit where we're like, okay, this is a new bit. It's as good as everything else. We can now take this thing out. You know what I mean? We swap stuff in, but you're doing special after special.
Starting point is 00:18:12 That's awesome, man. How are you doing it? I'm a machine. Yeah, dude. Yeah, I just think of. Did you crack the code for you in terms of like, this is how I write for myself or, and then you can turn that lens on everything? Yes.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Yeah. And, you know, that's a key. Just ask me, do I go up? Yeah. I haven't went up in a room and probably, maybe four, five years, just going up, like, working stuff out? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:38 I haven't had the time because it's mostly just, I'm constantly touring. On the road. So as I'm touring, I'm writing the specials as I'm going. And so I usually do a couple at a time. So if you do a club and you know you're doing five shows
Starting point is 00:18:54 over a weekend or six, you're like, I'm going to get this bit good after it goes through the mill in these six shows. I'm going to do... If I'm doing six shows, I'm doing six different hours. Oh, my God, dude. That is so impressive. So do people come see you more than once on the weekend?
Starting point is 00:19:10 They come see you more than once on the weekend. But I'm in the theaters now, so they just come to one show. Then they come to multiple cities. Right. And I'm doing something different. Dude, that is. Love it. That is so impressive, my minute.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Let me tell you what's terrible. I do one story that I just like. I thought you said you was doing a whole new show. Like, I did a whole hour and a half. Nothing new. One story that I liked. And then you know what the other side is? When you don't do it and somebody goes,
Starting point is 00:19:37 I was hoping you were going to tell that story. I brought my friend to see that thing. And then you're like, oh, I can't win either way. The worst thing is that if people come to see something that I've already put out. Yeah. So I don't do that. I don't do that. Yeah, you're like, it's the opposite of a band.
Starting point is 00:19:51 If you go see a musical artist, you want to see, you want to see the songs you know. If they're like, we're just going to do the new album, everyone's mad. They're like, I'm off the chain mad. I wish I would go and see you do a new album that I don't know. It's the opposite when you're... I hate ZZ Top. It'd be crazy. Well, check it out, and there's more to go.
Starting point is 00:20:14 Just go to your YouTube page, which is Ali Sadiek's YouTube page. Monday's... Monday's comedy. Monday's out right now. Check it out. Support this man. Go see him when he's live in your town. Oh, yeah, definitely do that.
Starting point is 00:20:24 It's worth your while. All right, here we go. This was sent in by Jake Silbersack and Jake Silversack. Silver sack. Silver sack. Beligerent man, and that's in quotes. So maybe he wasn't belligerent. No, I don't know. He was. I don't know. He was. That's just what they're calling it. That's what they wrote in the report. Beligerent man who tried to order rallies food at a KFC leads chase on a scooter. South you could, you could police say. Okay. So he went to a KFC and started ordering rallies. Rally burger. That's crazy. Yeah, man. McDonald's doesn't sell the Whopper. I want to I need it now. Get your manager out. You are the manager?
Starting point is 00:21:07 Sir. In thing. He's trying to order off menu. I want oysters. At a causters. You had a KFC, dude. Jolly B. They do have oysters.
Starting point is 00:21:17 By the way, fried oysters at KFC. I mean, I don't know if I would go that route. No, original recipe or extra crispy? Ah, extra crispy. 11 spices in them. Sir, this is a KFC. So obviously it goes bad in the KFC because they call the cops, right? Yeah, man.
Starting point is 00:21:32 Abligent man who threatened to smack a Kentucky fried chicken employee. Threaten to smack him because he couldn't serve food sold at rallies, faces a whole order of charges after leading officers on a chase on a scooter. The incident started when Lins and or Lysander Mosley. Guy's name is Lysander Mosley. Sounds like a street preacher. He's definitely 68 years old. We're going to guess later.
Starting point is 00:21:58 He used the word smack. Yes. It's smacked. Lysander, Mosy. Sounds like a Cohn Brothers character. Yeah, Lysander. He went to the Kentucky Fried Chicken at the 4001 Mayfield Road on November 14th. KFC employees told SCPD the man tried to order food that is served at rallies,
Starting point is 00:22:17 which is located directly across the street. Oh, my God. You're in the wrong place. I will walk you across the street. I'm pointing at it. No, I'm not in the wrong place. You are in the wrong place. I know exactly what I'm at.
Starting point is 00:22:29 Look behind you. So, but he's, and also, or he's right, because then it becomes, are you telling me I don't know where I am? Or he's, that's what it becomes. You tell me I don't know where I am. Oh, I'm wrong now. I'm wrong all the time. Sir, you are. You are right behind you.
Starting point is 00:22:44 The rallies is right over there. The rallies is right. Hey, man. I'll tell you where the rally is. I'll tell everyone. I've been coming in for years. No, you haven't. It's the first time we've ever seen you, sir.
Starting point is 00:22:55 I've never seen you. Or he's at level where he's so drunk, he thinks because he can see it, that's where he's at. They're like, it's right there. He's like, I know. And that's what I'm ordering. And they're like, no, it's over there. He's like, I get that. That's why I want it.
Starting point is 00:23:08 Name and the wrong people. Pam, you ain't never seen me before. There is no Pammy. That's a guy. That's a guy. His name is Mark. When the staff told him they don't serve rallies food, Mosley became belligerent and threatened to smack an employee.
Starting point is 00:23:23 The employees then called the police, like you said, Dan. When officers arrived, the man got on his blue mopped park just outside and took off. That's right. Zing, zing, zing, zing. Makes no noise. It just goes off quietly. Moped is already has a DUI. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:23:38 moped means he can't operate in a vehicle. Yes. Dude, guy who gets on a moped is the weakest flex after you threaten the smash. Yeah, you got to park that down the street. I feel like, I'm going to smack your ass and then you're like, as soon as I finish this watercress salad. Basically, that's what you're saying. I'll put my kickstand down and zoom off.
Starting point is 00:23:58 It loses something. I'm going to go 30. on that 55. Look at this hand. Say it's not rallies again. That is a tasty burger. There's a crazy thing. Him leaving before the cops get there meant he had to drive past the rallies.
Starting point is 00:24:16 I know. He refused to go to. That's right. No, he would go to the rallies and then order the double down. Do you remember the double down? Yes. So the bread was chicken. chickens, two fried chicken, and then
Starting point is 00:24:31 inside was what? Cheese. Yeah, I think. Double down, man. That was just like we have thrown all caution, all caution to the way. It was cheese and bacon.
Starting point is 00:24:41 Cheese and bacon in the middle. Two breasts were the bread. I can see him riding off on his scooter shooting the finger at the KFC's away. F you, Riley. It's not us! And then he passed by at McDonald's.
Starting point is 00:24:54 You too, Burger King. Meanwhile, the person in rallies is like, Islander! Oh, I guess he doesn't like us. Lysander. Somebody after smoking,
Starting point is 00:25:05 like, they go Moseley again. They go Moseley. There he goes. He's gone down there. All right. So he said, so SEPD said the man rode the scooter on the sidewalk.
Starting point is 00:25:16 Yes. On the sidewalk. Well, but he thought it was the road. He said, that's his street. With zero regard to pedestrian traffic. Of course. People are jumping out of the side.
Starting point is 00:25:26 Dogs getting thrown. He ignored off. Officers command to stop, instead headed west on Ardmore Road. An officer said... Ardmore Street. It's not rough. An officer saw Mosley turn his body away from the road and toward the officer, extending the middle finger in the road.
Starting point is 00:25:46 You were right. You were right. You called. He flipped them off. You know what's coming. Flipped him off. And then that was it. While his eyes were off the road, he lost control of the moped.
Starting point is 00:25:57 So he turned to give the guy. a bird and then that's when he lost control of the moped and then just went head over you which fell into the pavement and slid into the southwest curb of argon road the man was launched from the scooter as it slid in the street and into a large tree on the 1,200 block of argon road into a tree medics arrived on the seat minutes later and took from the hospital south ukule police have identified the suspect as lysander mosley look at him there he is i mean there it is i knew launch was a bit much launch
Starting point is 00:26:27 Launched. Fell forward. Launch. This dude out here wearing white jeans after Labor Day. What's he doing? Tight white jeans. Tight white jeans.
Starting point is 00:26:41 You can see that kick in. Babs bunny. Tate white jeans. Here it is. Mosey was charged with a filing. Disorderly contact OVI. Of course. No motorcycle license.
Starting point is 00:26:50 Do you need a motorcycle license for a month? That looked more like a motorcycle than anything. Reckless operation, operation of motorcycle without a helmet and wearing white jeans after. He was threatening to hit O'Raleigh's employees. He may also be charged with failure to comply with an order to signal of a police officer, which is a third-degree felony pending review. Oh, he gave the signal to the guy.
Starting point is 00:27:09 He gave the signal. We're going to get out of here on this. How old is Lysander Mosley? You saw him face down over there. Originally you said 60s, but you see this guy laying down on the ground. Can we get that picture? All right. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:25 Talk to me about the haircut. I mean, can we judge him on haircut? Like, what do we think he's got? Definitely is crazy. Yeah, he's crazy. I'm going to guess 34. Okay. I'm going to go 41.
Starting point is 00:27:37 I'm going to go 46. Okay. One of you is exactly right. Oh, I'm staying at 41. You can stay or flip to wherever you're staying at 40. He's staying at 46. 34. All right.
Starting point is 00:27:51 Get your answers in. When we come back, we're going to hear what Dan's got going on. And then there's one last. story from Dan. Lysander Mosley is 34 years. Oh, look at that. 34 year old man. Nice work. He knows his age bracket. He does. He does.
Starting point is 00:28:06 All right. Let's take a break. We come back. Alisa is with us. He's just coming up. He's got specials coming out. Like nobody's business. Got one out right now. It's out a month ago. Got another one coming out in March. Go to his YouTube page and check that out. We come back. Dan's got a last story for us. It's Don't People Town. Don't Go anywhere.
Starting point is 00:28:26 Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Before we jump in the story, Daniel, let them know where people can find it. I'll be in Portage, Wisconsin at the Portage Center for the Performing Arts. That's on the 28th. And then in March, I'll be in New York City, York, Pennsylvania. Everything's up at Daniel Van Kirk.com. April, I'm in Wilmington, North Carolina at the Dead Crow Comedy Club. And then in May, I've got my show, Netflix is a joke festival.
Starting point is 00:28:48 That's May 6th. Everything's up at Daniel Vancurgar.com. And then all summer long, into the fall, even shows. Love it. All right. jump in this last story. Here we go. We'll get out of here quick.
Starting point is 00:28:58 We're going to another fast food place. We're sent in by David Fornier at DP Fornier. How do I send something in? You want to send it into us? Text anyone of us. No, that's a great question. Here's how people can send it. We're still on X.
Starting point is 00:29:13 What you can do is just type in hashtag dumb people town. Send us the story. The link to the story. And then that way we have a timeline as to who sent it in first. Because sometimes a crazy thing will happen. You know that gets float around the end. internet and like 50 people send it into us and we just go into the timeline we're like oh this person sent it first we got to give him or her credit but our fans are awesome at sclar brothers or at
Starting point is 00:29:36 daniel van kirk yeah hashtag dumb people town and then send us the link and then we got or you text us i'm on he's on he's on so david 28 sent us in at dp 40 or two here we go florida man rob's victim who wouldn't buy him wendies see well now i kind of understand that he wouldn't buy him wendies That pretzel bread? Right. Pub burger? It's good. Miami, Florida.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Don't let anybody. Jay likes a square burger. It's like a real robbery. It's like strong on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You mean like bullying.
Starting point is 00:30:10 Is it bullying or a robbery? Is it a lunch money thing? Like, yeah, I'm going to punch you. Like, that may be it. It's strong on. That's a wrong. That's a strong army for a strong army for a pub pretzel bread. A South Florida man was arrested.
Starting point is 00:30:25 Friday after he reportedly robbed another man at gunpoint outside of a Wendy's restaurant after refusing to buy him chicken nuggets. Oh, man. Wendy's is not a chicken nuggets restaurant. They're good. Tendys.
Starting point is 00:30:39 They're not. They're not robbery worthy. Let's talk robbery worthy. Chiquelay. Chick-fil-A nuggets. Are we talking regular or spicy? Okay. Chick-fil-A nuggets.
Starting point is 00:30:52 Tenders. Do you know why chick-fil-a-nuggets are robbery-good? What? Because they got a little bit of God in them. They do. The Chick-fil-A puts a little bit of Jesus in every nothing. Raising cane strips. No, wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:31:05 Hold on. Wait a minute. And the Texas toast. Hold on that. I'm waiting. If you, I am enraged. By raising canes? Like, my little girls wanted to go, oh, I said, what y'all eat?
Starting point is 00:31:14 I want to eat raising canes. And I went, and they ordered two strips. Yeah. And it was like $35. I was like $35. I'm like, $35. I'm not right. I'm not right there.
Starting point is 00:31:23 I'm not insane. Like, and that. That's all they do. That's all they're spending money on. And I will say this. This is the other thing that I'm mad at raising canes about. The toast is so good. Toast is good.
Starting point is 00:31:32 But listen, you order the chicken sandwich, which I have before. You open the chicken sandwich. It's three strips across the chicken sandwich. You mean you're not going to... Because that's all they sell. You mean to tell me you're not going to make a breast of chicken? They don't even... They don't even...
Starting point is 00:31:45 They strip it up, right? The one at Chick-fil-A. I hate to say it. It's good. Well, Miami's... Wendy's is good for chili and their burgers. Did you call it Miami? I did.
Starting point is 00:31:55 I was looking at word. Wait, how come there's not a chicken place called Miami? Because they just sell cocaine. Just all cocaine. I'll take a... Cocaine. Decorries. Give me one of them cocaine burgers and I'll take a daugree to go.
Starting point is 00:32:06 And don't get anything on my white suit. Everyone working there has another business plan they want to tell you. Let me tell you about this other idea. We sell artwork. A South Florida man was arrested. The guy wants nuggets. Won't buy for him. Guy says, you won't give you nuggets.
Starting point is 00:32:21 I'm going to rob you. WPLG reportedly arrested. John Earl Taylor on armed robbery. Serial killer name easily. John Earl. John Earl three first names.
Starting point is 00:32:32 Right behind the BTK killer. Thank you. Three names. John Earl Taylor. Those should be three dudes. He has to go by Jet. No, man, they definitely need to just look into his background a little more. Right.
Starting point is 00:32:45 It's a lot of people who go to Wendy's that's missing. What I'm hearing you say is check the crawl space. Oh, man. Check the crawl space. Start lifting up floorboards. and let's see what's happening. He's got trinkets. That's right.
Starting point is 00:32:56 Armed robbery, carjacking, fleeing and alluding police and driving with a suspended license. Sure. Could have been avoided if this guy was like, can you give me nuggets? Yes, I can. This is when they really want to charge you with something.
Starting point is 00:33:06 They add driving with suspended life. That's got to be really a thing. Is that a thing? Yeah. And they do that so that they can kick it off and be like, we worked with you. I mean, hey. According to the local tape.
Starting point is 00:33:16 This dude wouldn't signal a left turn in the chase. Jet. He's going down for that. John Earl Taylor. Approach to the victim outside of a Wendy, Thursday as he was getting out of his car and asked if he would buy him chicken nuggets. The victim reportedly told Taylor he couldn't because he only had enough money for himself and then the victim went inside.
Starting point is 00:33:36 That is what you say. Yeah, you're like, hey man, I'm sorry, I only got enough. As the man was leaving the restaurant, Taylor came up to him again, except this time Taylor pointed a gun at the victim. Oh. Local 10 said Taylor demanded the man, give him his keys and a gold chain, which the guy did. So now it's just a robbery. Yeah, now We're not even still dealing with chicken nuggets. It just happened to be at Wendy. So here's my question. This is just some wendy shit.
Starting point is 00:34:00 Is that what we're saying? But here's my question, though, if he would have gotten him the nuggets, let's just say. Do you think he robs him? Do you think he robs him? Still rob him. This is the ploy. Let's see what you have on you. Hey, hey.
Starting point is 00:34:14 Yeah. So he's looking him up and down. He's really got to. In his mind, like, yep, getting that gold chain. That's right. But I also hope that he went to rob him. And he asked about the nuggets too far away. And so the victim was walking too fast and didn't stop.
Starting point is 00:34:27 So he was like, all right, fuck, when he gets back out of here, I'm going to wait for him to get closer. Close enough. You get to look at that chain and then do the other. Yes. As a man was leaving the restaurant, he came to him again, pointed the gun, said, give me your keys in your gold chain. Taylor then reportedly drove off in the victim's car.
Starting point is 00:34:41 Detectives saw the victim's car parked the next morning. Wherever you were, it wasn't far enough away. Yeah. You got to keep going. You got to go to Georgia. You got to get out of the state. What are you doing, man? Taylor drove away in the car as more.
Starting point is 00:34:54 police started to arrive. So he was in the car when the cops see a car. I was sleep. Slept there. Slept there. This is my house now. Police have went after him and they eventually did catch him after he crashed the vehicle. Of course. He was taking the hospital treated for minor injuries before going to the Metro West at Trenchin Center. We'll get out on this little story really fast
Starting point is 00:35:10 with this. How old is John Earl Taylor? General Taylor is. Oh, a serial killer is what he is. I think he's... Yeah, you can see him. This dude right here. Yep. John Earl Taylor is.
Starting point is 00:35:26 If you told me he coaches UCLA basketball, I'd be like, yeah. Okay. That's the guy who coaches UCLA. That's the KKK dude off of Mary Kingstown. Yeah. Yes. Mayor KKK. Yes.
Starting point is 00:35:40 This could be like this could be a clean 56 or a Methi 31. You know what I'm saying? What are you going to go, Rand? I'm going to go Methi 31. Jason? 44. 44? What do you think?
Starting point is 00:35:52 I'm going to go. Because you added meth in it, I'm going to go. If you go 19, I'm walking out of here. I'm walking out. If you say 19, I'm walking out. I'm going to say 38. 38, okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:05 Give me your numbers again? 44. 44 from Jay? 31. 31. 38. John Earl Taylor. Go watch Mondays.
Starting point is 00:36:13 It's on his YouTube page. Go see him live. Go see him live. And then go see him again because it's going to be a different show. Prolific as hell. I'm so happy. The story he really loves. Thank you, dude.
Starting point is 00:36:22 All right. For having me. John Earl Taylor is... I got to win one. 34 years old. Oh, close to here. One year. One year.
Starting point is 00:36:33 He definitely looks younger. You know, I don't know age. I'm black, man. That's right. I'm just going to tell you to know. I'm pulling the race card on this one. Yeah. You can pull the race card on this one.
Starting point is 00:36:44 Well, you did walk in here and looked at me and Jay and said all white people look alike. So I appreciate that. I appreciate that. All right, guys, that is a show. That's how we do this thing. Fast, quick, easy. Go support him, go see Daniel, and go come see us wherever we are.
Starting point is 00:36:57 And, oh, snap, we got to get back to work. See you guys. Peace. Peace.

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