Dumb People Town - Arden Myrin - Poundland

Episode Date: April 29, 2025

Comedian/actress/podcaster Arden Myrin (Will You Accept This Rose?) stops by as Randy describes why a mother demands that Poundland change their logo, Jason explains how a Florida man with an ankle monitor told police that he can't go to jail due to his curfew, and Daniel warns laying on the beach while a certain sheriff's vehicle is near, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsors: Hims and ASCPA Pet Insurance! Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/DPT. To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/DPT.

Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose We'll make the news, breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half-price bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast jam with co-hosts Armand Dan And members, don't be a jerk. Spread the music, there's the funny hits

and we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, underdownt is Dumb People Town. Hey, Tatties, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population, you? Population, Marine. Arden, Marine, Biology. Hi. Welcome to town. Hey, girl. Hey, girl. Population Marine. Arden Marine, biology.

Hi. Welcome to town. Hey girl, hey girl, hey girl. The Helen Marine of comedy. The Helen Marine of comedy, she's hilarious. You better change your goddamn pronunciation. Yes. Yeah, she used to get with the times.

She used to get with the times, get a Swedish drunk Viking pronunciation. I need like a, there's so many times where I'm like, I need like a, you get like a B12 shot so that you don't like, you feel sick. I know you get like a bat, like we got bags of IV. Dan, you've done the IV. I'm not here for that.

I would do it, but I never did it. In Vegas we did it. I would never. I would totally do it. It does make you feel a little better, but like. I mean it completely dehydrates you, which is usually your biggest problem after a night. But I need a shot of Arden Marine in the veins

every time, which we got at Sketch Fest. We were on the same train. You came and did tag it, you were so funny. Oh my God, you guys. We gave you so many good little. By the way, I'm gonna incorporate all those. All of them, take them. Watching you try to get out three pussies

going through the grapevine or something. Maybe you couldn't get it out. Watching you. It was like you and your cats. Yeah, it was me and my cats escaping during the fire. And we drove, and one of them like escaped. I had two cats and I was driving through the grapevine. And one of them got out.

Just three pussies going through the grapevine. But you tried to say it. Cause you're also not really like a pussy. Like you're not like a pussy. No, we don't say that word. Yeah, they don'm like hey, like watching Jay try to make a pussy joke. And it was a catch. Couldn't do it. The fact that it was from you made it even worse.

Jay can't even watch the movie Puss in Boots. Shall we jump into some dumb, and then we'll talk about it. When he watches porn, he's like, can we get some boots on these ladies? Let's get some boots on the ground. Put some boots on that. That is hot. All right, let's like, can we get some boots on these ladies? Boots on the ground. Put some boots on that. That is hot.

All right, let's jump into our first story. All right, you ready? Yeah. It's sent in by Carly McDermott at She, The Carly. No, that's the porn version of Puss in Boots is Boots and Puss. Boots and Puss. It's a very different.

It's a very different. That'll be it. All right, you ready? Now that we have ourselves. In or and? In. Oh, okay. Look at him, look at how pleased he is.

It's so funny. All right, you ready? Everybody loves when they hit one. Speaking of, because now we're just going here. I like that we greased the wheel. Okay, Carleen sent it in. Carleen sent this in, okay. Thank you, Carleen.

Here's the headline. Horrified mom, so you know what happens in England, demands pound land, horrified mom, so you know what happens in England, demands Poundland put sexually suggestive kids knickers over Japanese symbol meaning. This is the weirdest thing, but I'm gonna explain it. That's a great headline. Right, a mom has demanded that Poundland stop selling sexually inappropriate kids underwear

after finding out what a symbol on the front meant. First of all, it's called Poundland. I'm taking her to Poundland. I'm going to Poundtown. Poundtown is a knight with one person. Poundland is an orgy. Poundland is an orgy. Poundland is incredible.

I'm taking it down to Poundtown. Poundland is when you need them to finish. Poundland is like, you've been here too long today. Poundland, the lines are too long. I got a fast pass to Poundland. You did? You get on the rollercoaster, they put a gimp ball in your mouth,

you're hanging from a sex swing, and then they swing you around. I'm a single rider here, Poundland. Party of one. Party of one, single rider. Party of one. I remember I did some club in Arizona, and Dana Gould had just done it,

and they were like, oh yeah, it's all POO. I was like, what? He's like, oh, it's all a lot of men, party of one. Like the whole team, like everyone, every one of his fans was just solo, was just solo man kind. Poundland. If I, if I is almost a legally separated.

By the way, women don't say this enough, but if a woman is like, I'm gonna take them to Poundtown tonight. I'd be intimidated and intrigued. I'd be excited. Yeah, I'd like to take you to Poundtown. Who is she? Poundtown.

Poundland, all right, so here we go. So, Nicole Pritchard brought a four pack of the, and we'll tell you how much it is later, knickers, which they're just underwear. From Poundland. Again, you can't, that can't be the name of an underwear store, Poundland. Where do you take it?

That's children's underwear. Can I, I have a hot take. Yes, Dan. Let's hear it. Underwear that says sexy things. Right. Yep. Is the same energy as the feeling of cash in your pocket. No one else knows you have it,

but you feel a little pep in your step. I got 300 bucks in my back pocket, what are we doing tonight? I've got underwear that says good girl, what are we doing tonight? But only you know. I like to think you're wearing good girl. Why not?

That's fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tim, but in both instances, if someone pulls a gun on you, you're fucked. Yeah. So here we go. Hopefully. Exactly.

Hopefully we're going to Poundland. But right, I mean, if you're wearing underwear that says things, that's for you and maybe for someone else. Any ideas why it's called Poundland? I mean. I think it's Britain and a pound is a form of. So it's a dollar store. Also it's a dollar store.

It's a dollar store. Oh my God, that's incredible. It's Britain's 99% story. Poundland is incredible. Can I also just say. Nothing costs a pound anymore. I haven't been able to even focus since the very first word of this story

because you said, what is the first word? You said. A horrified mom. Okay, I want you to know that I am from Rhode Island and I say, and I now say horrified, but what I wanna say is horrified. Horrified, she's horrified. She's horrified, she had orange juice.

Orange juice, horrified with a glass of orange juice. We're having a horror story, there's a horror movie. Horror story. I don't know how to say it, so I over hit horror. Horror. So, but I, all I could think was he's saying it wrong. It's horrified. Horrified mom.

Also, is there a sex positive podcast that also deals with ghost stories called Horrified? Oh, that's fun. Or someone, yeah, you're just like, she's fine. Or just a sex positive podcast. Horrified. Paranormal sex stories. Paranormal sex stories. That's fun. Or someone, yeah, you're just like, she's fine. Or just a sex positive podcast on Horrified. Horrified, paranormal sex stories. Horrified, horrified. Just anyone who's had relations with a ghost. Consensual or not.

Okay, ooh. Okay. Damien Akroyd, number one. However, they were confused exactly over what a symbol on the front of the clothes meant after translating the how old mum, how old is she? Okay. What do we think she is? 34. 34?

I like that. My first thought was 36. Jay? 29. Okay, 36, 34, 29, get your answers in. What are we Sir Mix-A-Lot? Yeah. Okay.

36, 34, 39. Wait, did you see there's a video out of Sir Mix-A-Lot went to the Seattle Symphony and to like raise money for the symphony and he's on stage in front of the symphony, and he calls up any ladies who want to dance. And they go, some woman goes crazy. And he's so good at it.

Some woman waited her whole life for this moment. I gotta find this. Okay, I can find it. That is so fun. I can find it. But the world sometimes delivers, you know? I'll take it. It's full on delivered. Okay, how old is she? She is. Get your answers in Tally. Thirty four. Forty.

You're so old. Judd Apatow this is forty. Running the symbol through the translator she found that it meant cat or pussy cat in Japanese and Chinese. She immediately goes to the grapevine. Because it was underwear for a, how old is her daughter? Now here's the thing, she's 40. Eight. Eight? Her daughter is 21. No, stop. Her daughter's 16 years old. 16, how old do you think?

11. She's 40, she had this kid. I have an 11 year old daughter. One of you is one year old. I have an 11 year old daughter, it's 10 or 11. 10. Okay, get your answers in. 15, you wanna go up?

I'm gonna go up. Go nine? I'm gonna go up, no, I'm gonna go up. Go nine? I'm gonna go up. No, I'm gonna go, I'm going to go, her daughter, who she's buying underwear for is 15. Okay, fine. All right, get your answers in, Townies. This daughter is,

And then I went down a year. For her, she bought the underwear for her 10-year-old daughter. I was right. Oh. Running through the symbol, said pussycat on it. Okay, that's, by the way, if you're buying your own, don't buy your kid's underwear at Poundland.

I completely understand. How dare you? There goes a sponsor. That's where Dan buys all of his daughter's underwear. Yes, okay. So she called to complain about the symbol. I might have one someday. And said the product should be taken off the shelves.

Poundland said- Dan, you'd be a great dad to a daughter. Hell yeah. You'd be a great dad. Just don. Hell yeah. You'd be a great- Just don't ever call yourself a girl dad. Every girl dad is about to get canceled. They're like, I'm a girl dad, I think you also touched the secretary. Stop, don't.

Stop. Exactly, secretary. You can't say that. Can't even say secretary. Yeah, you can say girl dad. By the way, you can say girl dad. You can say girl dad, you can't say girl daddy. Yeah, that's right.

That's where it starts to get like yee-hee-hee. Girl daddy, I'm a girl daddy. Girl daddy, I'm a girl daddy. Girl daddy, I'm a girl daddy. And I drive a van. Poundland said the clothes were part of a wider Japanese themed cat range and they understand why the mom contacted them. So this is like the ultimate.

We get it. This is the ultimate in store bureaucracy. We understand. We get it okay we're with you they're not gonna say anything they're not gonna say anything they're not gonna do anything parents of girls who were are close to 10 would you care I'm just saying hello Kitty would have the good sense to put that thing on the back okay you don't put a kitty symbol on the oh it's on the front on the back. Okay, you don't put a kitty symbol on the. Oh, it's on the front?

It's on the front! It's a shiny symbol. Move it to the side, move it to the side. What are you doing? Put it on the hip, put it on the hip. None of them had anything to do with Japanese symbols apart from the random one on the pack. When I took them home, she asked me,

what does this mean, Mom? And I said, I don't know, I didn't notice it. I don't, I, just, I was she mad. Are they size, are they petite or are they four children? Four children. They're four children. So I put it in the Google Translate and Google this. She cut women's petite for her 10 year old.

And it said that the symbol on the front of her knickers is the slang term for a cat. In other words, it's pussy, puss or moggy or something like that. If the pants had anything to do with cats, like pictures of cats or something like that, it would be fine. I don't even think that's fine. You could argue more that it lends itself to the design of the underwear versus what it's covering. But there's no correlation as to why the symbol...

That is just bold to put on kids, girls, underwear. That's disgusting. The Chinese or Japanese symbol for books. This is the thing where like, this is the thing where some, At Sullivan Poundland! Some white collar worker PR person has to answer for this. Oh yeah. But so many things just come down

to who runs the printing press. You gotta get the statement. Who runs the screen press? What's that guy or woman do? What do they think? I'm looking up Sir Mixlot at the symphony. Ah! I think we lost him.

Just like you lost me at Horrified. You lost him at Sir Mixlot. Sir Mixlot, I can't stop. I can't stop. Because of this woman going wild, it is, so the woman said it seemed like they weren't taking this seriously at all. This is after she called it and found it baffling,

though she reckons that Poundland didn't know the mistake they were making and she doesn't even think they'd done it intentionally. So at least she's- She's cool about it. I was gonna say, is this the most sensible person complaining about something? She's like calling and being like,

look, you gotta change it, okay, because this is just weird. Yeah, it's just weird. But I don't think you're doing this on purpose. You know who has pussy written on her underwear? This woman. Okay, I can't wait. All right.

I'm guessing woman in orange. No, woman in black. Okay, I was thinking orange. Oh, there she is. Okay, I see her. There she goes. Oh, God. Okay, okay.

Oh my God, by the way, that could be me in a heartbeat. I can't believe this is at the symphony. That could be me in a heartbeat. I can't believe this is at the symphony. That could be me in a heartbeat. I should have, yeah, we'll just throw it in. I'm like one second away from that. That's a Big Ten graduate. Can I tell you guys something? But I'm gonna wait till you're done with this story.

Okay, so a Poundland spokesman, Johnny Cockleseed. Now, come on. I made that up. That's my new lawyer. I made that up. If the kid's panty fits, you must acquit. Oh, hey now. If the Japanese symbol fits.

Johnny Cox. I keep changing out pound land for the other American, like for dollar store. Dollar tree. Yeah, pound tree and pound general. Right, exactly. Pound general. No, it would be like, it would be like,

Pound general. Buck me. Oh my God. Buck me. Buck off, buck off. Okay. Said, well, these are part of a wider Japanese themed cat range that includes socks and vests.

We understand why Nicola questioned one item out of the context of the whole range. How passive aggressive is that? Is Johnny Cockles lead? We understand why this one will complain about one item out of the wider context. Smart, I agree. Good lawyer.

It goes without saying that we apologize for that and we appreciate her getting in touch with us. How much is that? We appreciate you getting in touch with us. That is the definition of us, we ain't doing anything. Translation, well, you came in to complain today. Thank you so much for bringing that to our attention. And you know what, our job is to amplify voices like,

are you gonna do something about it? Nope. No, we're gonna kick it down the line until your kid is too old and it doesn't even matter anymore. Pound, Pound, yeah, Pound Land. Pound Land, Pound Land. Pound Town is where you take your partner to. Pound Town is a weekend. Pound Land is theound Land. Pound Town is where you take your partner to. Pound Town is a weekend.

Pound Land is the sequel to Nomadland. That's right. Just everything happens in the van. Everything happens in that van. Oh my God. Francis McDormand. Pound Town! So we'll get out of here on this.

She would love that. So it is Pound Land, but how expensive were, in pounds, were these questionable knickers 299 299 what do you think for a pack for a pack for a pack for a pack for pounds one pound they said things don't cost one pound any okay to adjust it 299 for what do you think five pounds get your answers in townies that is the first story's down in the, it's pounded in the book. And then Arden has something to tell us. And then Arden has something.

Okay, I wanna know, will you tell us now? Are we allowed to? And I said, by the way, I said Aaron, the video of Sir Makes Love. We could go out to break watching that. Okay, here's my story. You do your story and then I'll tell you how many. Okay, speaking of symbols,

do you guys know Brian Safi, the comedian? Yeah, of course. Okay, love him. Yeah. He in college, and I've seen it in person. We went to Rhode Island, I was in the ocean with him, I was like, what is that tattoo on your arm? Oh God.

He got a Japanese symbol that he thought meant like, that he thought meant whatever, like warrior, whatever. Peace, peace, serenity. Yeah, that he since obviously wants to get rid of, but like he says, he thought it said one thing, and then he found out like five years ago that he obviously wants to get rid of. But he said, he thought it said one thing and then he found out five years ago that it actually means, what it is is like,

this is somebody who's hopeful and then this is something floating. He's like, so wait, I have the Japanese symbol for hope floats on my arm. I have it. I have it. I have it. I have it.

I have it. I have it. I have it. I have it. I have it. I have it., then you shouldn't have that. That's a Japanese symbol for hopefuls. Sandy Bullock doesn't even have that on her arm. Harry Connick Jr., I was like, he's such a fan. Is that Connick Jr.? Yes.

It's Connick Jr. city. He's such a fan. We were out in the ocean when he told me, I was like, I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Do you know on his left butt cheek, he has the Chinese symbol for the blind side. And there's others to mis-congeniality too. Which he thought meant,

Bird Box. Bird Box. All right, so, I'm gonna give you the, 299, four, five. So I'm gonna give you this answer $2.99, four, five. I'm gonna give you this answer and then we'll go out to break. Aaron, do you wanna pull it up or no? Is it possible?

It's gonna be amazing. All right, don't worry. We'll put it in post. We'll put it in post. What do we got? These pack of underwear at Poundland that had a puss on the front for a 10 year old girl.

Kevin Meaney, get that puss off your face. Yes. Is 250. Yay! Yay! She showed up and showed out. I went to pound town. We just went to pound town.

Yeah, we went to pound town. All right, Jay's got story number two. When we come back, we'll let you know what we have going on and find out what Arden has going on and how you can follow her and her awesome podcast. That we love, love, love. And you're gonna be on. It's Dumb People Town, it's Dumb People Pound Town

with Arden Marie. We'll be right back. Stick around, make a sound, there's more Dumb People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Before we jump into story number two, Jay, and before we get to how you can support Arden, let's talk about what we have going on.

Yeah, I'm not sure when this is going up, but let's just mention some March dates. We have, we're gonna be at the Wheeler Opera House in Aspen, Colorado on March 12th. Exciting! Oh, part of the Aspen Comedy Festival, which is still going on apparently. What?

Yeah, it's gonna be. HBO? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if it's HBO, but it's something. We're gonna be there. Fun! Wheeler Opera House is beautiful, so that's on March 12th. Gorgeous!

And then 13th through the 15th, we're at Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle, gonna be in Detroit. Oh my God, super fun. Brad Wenzel, who's the local dude, is a feature. Who's like a headliner, is a feature. I love Brad.

He's so funny. Wonderful. And he's really funny. God damn, is he funny. Hedberg-y, I think, in many ways. So he'll be our feature, and then we go to Minneapolis the next weekend to ACME, which is just one of the best clubs in the world. Two weeks later, we're in Denver at the Comedy Works South. Another landmark, incredible.

Is that the one that's? The big one, that's like a theater. I've done that. It's beautiful. I love that one. Huge and fun and hopefully we'll bring as many people out as we can. Last time we were there, we were there

and we were having such a good weekend and then it was like a six hour white out on Saturday. I was there during a blizzard. I was there in their polar vortex. Nobody showed up. I was in, couldn't get anyone out. I was in a polar vortex. So we was there during a polar vortex. I was like nobody shut up. I was in, I couldn't get anyone out. I was in a polar vortex. But.

So we're gonna change all that and everybody's gonna come out. Yeah. And then two weeks after that we're at Moon Tower, which I can't wait. Oh my God, so fun. And then we have other, we're trying to figure out where we're gonna do

our two man show that we did. And we will let you guys know. I can't wait to see that. So that will be in a city somewhere. It might be St. Louis. It might be Chicago. It might be St. Louis, it might be Chicago, it might be Denver, we don't know. So the investors are figuring out where to put this thing

for like a limited run so we can just get it and get the sets built and get the projections built and all that other stuff. That's called the board identity. And although Jay wants to call it the same white guy twice, which I think is really fun. And so that's, we'll let you guys know and the hope is to bring that to New York in the fall.

So good stuff, good stuff happening. Our Night Court episode comes out in March. So check it out. All the fun stuff. Superscores.com at Scry Brothers. Arden, we did your awesome podcast at the Sketch Fest. Will you accept this, Rose? Yes, it's on I Heart.

You guys are. So fun. You're so fun. It's a very, very silly podcast about the Bachelor franchise. Which takes itself so seriously, it's the most ripe thing to make fun of. And also celebrate.

We also talk about so much more than that. There's a lot of people who don't even watch the show who just listen, and we're gonna suck Dan in. Dan has theories. Dan has like attitudes about it. I wanna hear it. Not hear, save it for the pod. Save it, save it for the pod.

So I did coin the phrase, there was a girl on the show and I ad-libbed this and it was my favorite moment for me in the show. I'm 225. When I looked at a woman and I'm like, she looks like Reese Witherfork. Reese Witherfork got cut last week. What?

Yeah, so did your girl, so did your tall redheaded model got cut. Oh, plus size model who was sweet and awesome. We loved her, both got, not plus, also got cut. I thought Jay's joke got cut from your podcast. I'm like, no it didn't. You can't cuss Reese with her fork. Are you kidding? We put it in the,

and then we were walking and I was like, should it have been Reese with her spork? And I'm like, maybe. Is spork better than fork? But fork got a lot of laughs. Fork got laughs. They're both good. You know what, you can test it out next Tuesday.

I made Doug Benson laugh. Doug Benson laughed very hard. And I was like. I have to say, I always feel really good, because it's so weird that he, like I love that he loves to do it. He's so funny. Because Doug has all of these,

and we've had him on the show. We just did his show, and he's like in a musical theater. And I'm like, oh shit, I love all that. There's so much about Doug that like I'm learning. Doug also buys really cute clothes for his girlfriend. Oh, he's the coolest, she's really cool. Alicia's, I was like, I love your coat.

She's like, Doug surprised me. I was like, Doug picked that out? I just. He's a stylist. That's what I love about him in many ways is that he does, and so when we did that episode of your show, so I would say to people who listen to this, this is your way in to talk about the bachelor.

So listen, check out our podcast that we did with her. Will You Accept This Rose. Will You Accept This Rose. It's really silly. The episode we did was really fun. Because it was like at the beginning. So that'll help you kinda let you know. It was right after the first episode.

And then Dan will be on it and that'll be fun. Dan's gonna be on it. Yeah, baby. That's fun. Let's jump into another story. All right, the first episode. And then Dan will be on it and that'll be fun. Dan's gonna be on it. Yeah, baby. That's fun. All right, let's jump into another story. All right, here we go. This is sent in by Kyle Andrews at Late Night Nachos. Love him.

Good dude. Florida man, my voice is cracking. Yeah, I'm excited. You're right. Florida man with- You went to Poundland. Florida Poundman! Florida man with ankle monitor tells deputies

he can't go to jail because he has a curfew. Yeah, PCSO. What does PCSO stand for, Dan? PCSO. PCSO. Aaron's gonna know this, PCSO. Palm Coast Sheriff's Office. Palm Coast Sheriff's Office, that's it. Palm Coast Sheriff's Office.

Wow. Very good. Wow. Palm Coast Sheriff's Office. He's like, I don't know. Here we go, Winterhaven, Connecticut. Okay. Nope, Florida. That was my joke, it was Winterhaven. He's like, I don't know. Here we go, Winter Haven, Connecticut. Okay.

Nope, Florida. That was my joke. It was Winter Haven. I was like, Connecticut? No, Florida, of course. Where do you live? Winter Haven. Oh, is that near Hartford?

No, it's in Florida. It's actually near Tampa. It's Winter Haven, okay. A Winter Haven man who was on probation. Although Florida is a Winter Haven. It is. That's true. It's not like there isn't winter there. For the snowbirds.

Yeah, here we go. A Winter Haven man who was on probation. So he That's true. It's not like there isn't winter there. For the snowbirds. Yeah, here we go. A winter haven man who was on probation, so he's already on. He's already like, he's already screwed up. He's already like, check yourself, sir. Also like, they're like, He has an ankle monitor.

Right, like we gotta actually put a monitor on. I wish you had one on right now. I wish you had a huge anklet. Anklet? Not a monitor, he had just an ankle bracelet. Both an anklet and an ankle monitor. Let's get you an anklet. Let's get you an anklet for the podcast.

You guys should both get them that say best friends that have each other's names on them. I'm gonna get us best friends anklets for the podcast. That's how you know you just got back from the Bahamas. If I may break in, PCSO means Police Community Support Officer. Oh! I like Dan's better, I like Dan.

I tried. I'm gonna say Dan. All right. He was on probation. He's back behind bars after deputies say he interfered with a first responder at the scene of a car crash. So he didn't even do anything wrong, but he started messing with someone at another site.

Here we go. If you have an ankle monitor, stay away. Shut up. Shut up and stop talking. Maybe just be cool to that thing. You don't have to help anybody. Honestly, just order Postmates. Don't even be in restaurants.

Agree, agree to agree. Here we go. Deputies with the Polk County Sheriff's Office were investigating a vehicle crash at Winterlake Road and Brandi Chase Boulevard. How'd it winter? I know, around, I'm not gonna tell you the time. Brandi Chase Boulevard?

Brandi Chase Boulevard? I love her, her first album was great. Brandi Chase, I know. I can't believe she went country. I know. That's Brandi Carlisle. Brandi Chase Boulevard? I love her, her first album was great. Brandi Chase, I know. I can't believe she went country. I know. It's Brandi Carlisle. Oh, sorry. Okay.

On Tuesday, when they said, and I'm not gonna tell you how old he is, but Sebastian Angel Suarez approached the scene and asked, yo, what the fuck happened? Incredible. I'm obsessed with this person. They put like, yeah, they put like stars. A star, he's a star.

Yo, what the blank happened, okay? The deputy said he stopped what he was doing, turned to Suarez and explained it was a crash and that everyone appeared to be doing all right. Amazing, there was already an officer there. There was already an officer on the scene. Also like. This is the point at which someone gives you the answer

you were asking for, you leave. It's over. You walk away. Take your hand. There's no more to squeeze out of that orange. That conversation you leave. It's over. You walk away. Take your hand. There's no more to squeeze out of that orange. That conversation's over. It's done. However, according to Polk County Sheriff's Office,

Suarez got within a foot of the deputy, an angry, angry- Wait, what did you just say? Okay, Suarez- Polk County Sheriff's Office? Yeah. PCSO? Oh.

Hey. Maybe. Polk County Sheriff's Office, Suarez, got within a foot of the deputy and angrily snapped back. No shit, a car crash, what happened? Who hit who? Oh God. Wow.

So now he's gonna go to jail for being nosy. Can I just say. I'm a reporter for aggressive news. I just love the phrase no shit. Like, almost last time somebody like no shit. No shit. Like no shit to a police officer with an ankle in her ass. It's fun.

It sounds like you're being sarcastic. No shit, really? Is there a car accident here? A perfectly dropped no shit is so funny. No shit is so funny. Wait, can we finally like decipher? Is it I couldn't give a shit or I could give a shit? I couldn't.

Couldn't. I couldn't care less. I couldn't care less. It is impossible for me to care. Couldn't. I couldn't care less. I couldn't care less. It is impossible for me to care less about. If you could care less. I could not care less because I just care so little about this. It's not possible for me to even care less.

If you could care less. I could care less. I could not care less. Then you care. Right. I could care less. I could care less. But I care quite a bit.

I could care less. I like big butts and I literally cannot lie. Yes. I wanna lie. Everything and I literally cannot lie. Yes. I wanna lie. Yes. Everything about me wants to lie about this. Some others like this tend to deny. I.

When a girl walks by. With an itty bitty. And a round thing. In your face you get. I get. Wrong. I would love to lie about it, Arden. I know, you can't, you can't tell a lie, no shit.

I would love to say I don't like big butts. It almost seems to me somebody said, do you care? And you go, I could not care less. I could not care less, okay thank not care less. Okay, thank you. I could care less. All right, so no blank, a car crash, what happened? Who hit who?

Which tagline should be who hit who? I could care less, I could care less, but I don't even care enough to care less. I could care less. I could care less. It's a contradiction of thought. The deputy said he told Suarez to step back so the deputies could work. All right

At this point he's like, oh yeah He's drunk right right a hundred percent hundred percent. What happened? No shit But who hit who but he really was just singing But who hit whom or who hit who? Imagine if he said who hit whom. Drunk. No shit, who hit whom. Who hit whom, right? So he gets it right, but who hit who is like,

he's now gonna go after the person who hit the other person. He doesn't care. Wasn't that an Aretha Kella song? Who hit who? Who's zooming who. Thanks. Suarez yelled, F you.

Right? You can't tell me what to do. I'm obsessed with the star. So now, star, yeah, stars, F you. The deputy said you step back so the deputies can work. Imagine this deputy who's like, I'm trying to deal with this car accident. Right, I don't.

And now I got this wild card. Like with an ankle bracelet on. The deputy said he explained to Suarez that he was impeding the deputy's work and that he needed to be moved back or be arrested. To which Suarez said, no shit. I can't be a lawyer. I'm on an ankle monitor with a curfew,

you can't do shit, you can't take me anywhere. Actually you can. Maybe he thought it was like a dog shock collar with a fence, like you can't, I. Actually, you can. You can. Maybe he thought it was like a dog shock collar with a fence. I can't go. I can't, I gotta be home by it. Or he doesn't understand double jeopardy. Right.

So he's like, I've already been arrested for shit. It's like leaving the ticket. Look at my ankle jewelry. It's like leaving the ticket on your windshield. Yeah. And then you can't give me another ticket. Look at my ankle jewelry. My ankle jewelry. Look at my ankle jewelry.

Look at my ankle jewelry. According to deputies, Suarez continued to act out and was uncooperative. That's a shocker. Also, then you probably have the two people that are sorting out the accident that they're in. Right, right. And this guy's coming up and talking like.

Who hit who? Who hit who? She's bleeding. I'll handle it. Like you know he's about to say I'll handle this. I was just picturing our best friend's ankle. So I got excited. They're know he's about to say I'll handle this. I was just picturing our best friend's anklets and I got excited. Oh, I'm moving.

They're gold, they're gonna be gold. Of course. Gold plated. Pukka shells? All right, here we go. Rose gold. He was arrested and charged with violation of probation, willful, well, this is bad,

I'm not gonna even include this, child abuse, that's from another thing. Okay, we don't know. Oh, geez. Interfering with a first responder and two counts of resisting arrest. The other side, after he arrived at jail, deputies said Suarez had calmed down

and explained that a relative was involved in the crash and the deputies were investigating. Is that true? They still gave him an answer? Yeah, they're like, he's like, that was a relative of mine. I don't think so. Like we're all related, man.

Florida's HALO, why should you care? Florida's HALO law, which is aimed at protecting first responders by keeping crowds at a distance, took effect on January 1st, 2025. So that's a new law. We're all a new law. Back up 20 feet. Cause I guess in Florida people were just crowding.

They're like a moth to a flame. Right. It's like they let them do their work. They're like magpies. Anything shiny. Sure. I don't need you to pump the chest while I breathe in this one. Or it's created so the cops can determine you have to go far enough away to not film them. Right.

Oh, that's good, Dan. I mean, I'm not saying it is, but it could be. I saw an ad online for a military grade by like binocular thing. And I'm just like, first of all, why is this coming to me? Second of all, like. Hi, are you a creep? Yeah, hi.

You wanna be able to read. Or do you like birds? Complete different ends of the spectrum. Or do you wanna be able to read that sign a mile away? I'm like, I don't care. No, you're definitely a creep. Hey creep. Are you planning a heist?

Do you wanna look into people's souls? Brrrr. Are you a creep? Do you want x-ray binoculars? No, I don't. Do you want a lot of people to be like, hey man, what are you doing? Why? When you find yourself in a scenario where you need and have binoculars, it's pretty cool. They are fun. Yeah. They are fun. Because up at the cabin in Wisconsin, in the past few years, there's been bald eagles up there. That's fun. And so when we're down at the lake and you see one

and then you have binoculars to like watch a bald eagle like fly over the lake, then you're like, this is the coolest thing ever. Yeah, but do you want to be able to watch a bald eagle from another lake? I want to be able to watch a bald eagle from the hotel across the street. Yeah.

In the hotel room it's in. I want to watch, and the woman changing in her room, 29 hotels away. Bald Philadelphia eagle. It makes it illegal to come within how many feet of first responders? 30. 20.

Yeah, let's determine that this is in good faith. And I'm gonna say, those are both good guesses. Thank you. I will go. I love a game. 40 feet. 40 feet, get your answers in. 25 feet, right in the middle.

Not bad, not bad. Lee the D's, Lee the D's, what's the difference? Lee the D. If the intent is to impede, threaten, or harass them. So you can stand closer as long as you shut the F up and you don't bother. Oh, okay.

People who violate the- This guy came in so hot. But if you're screaming, if you're screaming, hold me back, hold me back, then you gotta be 20. Who did who? Who?

Let me know. No shit. All right, you can't tell me what to do. Can be charged with a misdemeanor or face up to how many days in jail? 45. 11. That's a-

11 is such a hilarious number. That's a great number, I wish that was it. It's like such not around number. 20. 60 days in jail. Wow. 60 days in. 60 days in, Dan. That's the worst guess anyone's ever done.

11. 11. I send you to 11 days in jail. Why? Because I want to. That's just arbitrary. All right, how old, we'll get out here on this. How old, I loved all of this.

Ankle angel, Suarez? Ankle angel? How old is the ankle angel? How old is the ankle angel? 27. 27. I'm gonna go 23. 48.

48. One of you is exactly right. I'm staying, I'm sticking at 48. Yeah, I'll stay with my 23. We gotta stick. Stick, everybody's sticking. Get your answers in, when we come back, Dan will tell you what he's got going on.

Sure. And he'll tell you what's in the story. Sebastian Angel Suarez is 23 years old. There! Wow! Dan knows his criminals. Dan knows his potsters. Michael Jordan.

That was a potster. He's a potster. Give us a little taste of what we're gonna hear in story three. Oh, it's hazardous sunbathing. Hey now. Good, I love it. All right, hazardous sunbathing.

It's too hot, it's too hot. Ard Marine, I wanna say, will you accept this rose? Yes, I will accept the rose. I'd be delighted to accept the rose. That is the podcast, right? Like no one in the history of the Bachelor has ever been like, nope, I'm good. Allegedly, I didn't even, I started much later

than I came late to the franchise. Sure. Apparently there was a person, there was a guy that turned it down. I think I saw that. Towards the end. You're like, what are you doing on the show? Why are you still here?

Why are you here? Because eventually you realized, ah, I don't like it. Yeah, I don't like them. Yeah, I don't like them. I don't wanna marry you. I like this person. Yeah, I'm not marriage material. Yeah, I don't like, I don't wanna marry you. I don't like this person. Yeah, I'm not marriage material. Anyway, he could have been wearing an ankle monitor.

All right, he's like, who hit who? Who hit who? All right. No shit. When we come back to Daniel's story, we'll find out what he has going on. It's Dumb People Town, Ard Marine, we'll be right back. Yay!

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and is not engaged in business. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. I'm just happy because I'm sitting next to our friend who we love. There's just clean sneakers to I'm looking at them all. I gotta I gotta get new sneakers. Mine are cute though. I'm gonna get the same. Cortez's their Cortez. I'll just get the replacement right?

The same shoes. They're a couple of old, I gotta just get fresh shoes. Those are cool, I like those. There's a way to clean them too. How, how? There's a whole, I ordered a thing, again, I don't know what is happening to me. What'd you order? TikTok shop?

Yeah, TikTok shop, I ordered a thing and it cleans the shoes and it does a good. Did it work? Yeah. Send me the link, boo. I'll clean your shoes for you. Okay, girl. Bring your shoes over.

Bring your shoes over and I'll clean them. You're in his neighborhood. You're in his neighborhood. Let's make them close to each other. I'll bring it over to your house and I'll clean your shoes. My TikTok little... Shoe. Bring your shoes over and I'll clean your shoes. You're in his neighborhood. You're so close to each other. I'll bring it over to your house. My TikTok literally. Shoe cleaning party. Oh my God, I love a shoe cleaning party and I love your wife. I have to say, my Instagram suggestion page.

It's insane. Is all tits. I'm like, I'm a straight lady. I'm like, I look like. I can't remember who it was. It was some comedian who wrote, I don't cheat on my wife, but if you saw my Instagram suggestion,

you think that's all I do. I mean, I have nothing but like tits and my head is like, I'm a straight woman. I don't even look at Reels. I'm only on Instagram to either post, maybe go through some stories, but I don't, I don't tick tock is where I just scroll and look at stuff. And so I'm like, I haven't even put anything in for them to think. Reels think I am so horny for boobs.

And I am, but not on Instagram. I don't wanna say that my Instagram for you page is all tits, but I literally, it says, hey, I'm up here. No, I said, I'm up here. No, ours is like golf tips. Not tits. I have just tits and I don't know why. Do you look at reels?

Not really. I don't either. Maybe that's like some just default. I'll look at my. So you guys have cultivated it. A little. I will look at if a friend of mine posts a reel. But you don't scroll reels.

No. Me either, at all. Stand up crowd works. Stand up and fights at Waffle House. It's insane. I like, spirit air fights. Spirit air fights and then like weird sports. I like all the sports stuff.

Because we- I like animal videos. Love, love. I like this, I like animals. I like like a monkey carrying a bunny. Yes! I like that, that's what I want. I love that.

If I could just have all that. I love parents feeding babies food for the first time. Okay, that's fun. There was one video that I watched, I think 11 times, where they're bringing a chicken wing to this kid and her eyes get really big and then right before they feed the chicken wing, someone comes to the other side with an orange

and the girl is kind of like disappointed. I'm like, that's the funniest video. I gotta see that. And so then because of that, I get like, I wish. Girl, watch Wasabi, like baby for the first time. It's so funny. Why can't I just have-

All the videos. And then just tons of boos. I just want a monkey and a bunny, and it said it's like- Kids at Benihana for the first time? Oh yeah. That little girl, that little- There's tons of them.

Are they doing the volcano? Yeah, the flame goes up and these kids lose their minds. I've never seen that. Why is this just tits? I'll have to start changing my algorithm. Well, no, I'm not only on TikTok. I don't look at it. So here's what has to happen. Get on Reels or whatever, or on TikTok.

Stay on a video that you love and watch it twice and then that'll change your algorithm. Okay, that's what I'm gonna do. I like watching a monkey in a dress walking with like a thing that it's taken care of and it's like feeding it food. I love that. I have monkey that learned martial arts.

That looks like karate. I like that. Like fighting some guy. I like that. That one I get a lot. I like that. Daniel, what do we have going on, Dan? Daniel.

You can listen to my solo podcast, The Midnight Air, right here on All Things Comedy. It drops out on Monday night. It's an overnight radio type podcast to, I don't know, keep you company or help you go to sleep, whatever you're into. Both. It's a really fun show.

I have dates. Go to danielvancourk.com. I'm going to be in Providence, Rhode Island. That's where I'm from. March. Tell your people to come. You guys should all go to Dan Van Courk. I would love that. March 20idence, Rhode Island. That's where I'm from. Hey. Tell your people to come. You guys should all go to Dan Van Kerr. I would love that.

March 20th and 21st. Where? And then it's Providence Comedy Underground. They do this little venue in downtown. I did it a few years ago. Is it fun? You should do it. Absolutely great.

I should do it. You definitely should. Then next weekend I'll be in Denver at the Denver Comedy Underground on the 28th and 29th. Fun. And then I'll be in Chicago doing some other people's shows. They asked me to come out and guess on their shows. I said I would.

And then Milwaukee at the Laughing Tap, Jane's Hill at the Comedy Cabin, Louisville, whole bunch of other stuff. How fun! Yeah, yeah, everything's at danielvankirk.com. There's dates like up through September. Oh, thank you to everybody who put his special up over 100,000 views.

Of course. Let me go. Are you ready? Let's go. Matthew Friedman at not your AVGMATT. Not your average man. Pinellas Sheriff's Deputy who ran over St. Pete Beach Sunbather is reprimanded. Wait, say that again.

I'm sorry, what? I get it, can I see if I get it? Is he on one of those segues or is he on an ATV? Canela Sheriff's Deputy who ran over Saint Pete Beach sunbather gets reprimanded. Wow. That's it? A reprimand?

Ran over. Ran over. He should also be getting a lawsuit. I mean, is the person on their back or their... Are they in the road? I don't know. Sunbathing in the streets. A Pinellas Sheriff's Deputy who ran over a woman

on St. Pete Beach in May has received a written reprimand. Dude, I'm very disappointed with you, Kyle. That's low, right? Stop checking your text as you're driving on the beach. They also hand you a note that just says, stop running over. What was that? That's your written reprimand?

You ran over that person. So was it in a car? The punishment was the lowest that Deputy Todd Bryan, Oh God. Oh God, BR's names. B-R-I-E-N. Is it Bryan, Todd? Nope.

Todd Bryan. Who has been with the agency since 2013. It is the lowest form of punishment that you could have received for violating a sheriff's office performance of a duty role. The maximum punishment would have been Jail. Jail.

Jail. A 24 hour suspension. Oh, that's it? That's the maximum punishment for running someone over. Part of me wants to become a beach cop. If you want a two week break from work, just run over sunbathing. We're running someone over. Part of me wants to become a beach cop. If you want a two week break from work, just run over 14 people.

Do you think someone stood in front of the city council and said, folks, if we start firing these cops for running over people on the beach, we're not gonna have cops anymore. Let them, we gotta make a few. What state are we in? What state do you think we're in? Florida. Let them cook.

Florida. You gotta cook. Hara. Hara. Hara. Hara. You gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet. Where we have orange juice. Orange juice, the city of orange juice. Florida. How much are people getting run over that they're like, you got, we can lose these guys for 24 hours, that's it.

Well, let's see operating. Dan, that's like Sully McCullough, the great Sully McCullough's joke about working at McDonald's. You gotta get somebody up on that fryer. Yeah, you could stab the night manager and he'd be bleeding out on the floor. We need you on that fryer.

He'd be like, hey man, you cut me good, but I need you on them fries. You cut me deep, but I need you on them fries. We're about to hit that rush. I need you on them fries. The maximum punishment, as I said, would have been a 24-hour suspension. Pinellas Sheriff Bob Gaultieri.

Okay. Started French and then went Italian. Said that Brian had no prior disciplinary history at the agency. Look, I'm willing to say it was a mistake. It was a mistake. He didn't try and... It's odd to me though that the worst you get is... So little.

What did he run her over with? It's Tuesday at two o'clock. Your ass better not be back here until Wednesday afternoon. What did he run her over with? A car? I don't thinkclock. Your ass better not be back here till Wednesday. Was it a car? What did he ride? A bike? I don't think you're driving a car on the beach. A bike, a truck?

I'm not making this name up. Brian, Todd, ran over Robin Diffenderfer. Okay. This may be. If you are saying the name, Robin Diffenderfer, you better be on stage for an improv show. Robin Diffenderfer. It sounds like halfway through saying the name,

you were gonna give yourself on an improv scene. Or it's like, you just, you, you decide, you couldn't figure out where to end the name. You smelled toast and tasted pennies and fully stroked out. Chevy Chase bit. What's your name? Robin Diffender. Okay.

Funny seeing you here at this mall. Well, what do you expect? You talking to me? Robin Diffender. Yeah, that's goddamn right. It's me. What are you going to run over me? Someone just told you I'm hungry for Dippin Dots. And then they got in your head. And you said out on stage told you I'm hungry for Dippin' Dots and then they got in your head and you said off stage.

I've never had a Dippin' Dot. Dippin' Dots are, Diff in Durfer is a German Dippin' Dot. Diff in Durfer is a hamburger place where they let you make somebody else's burger. That's fun. You don't get to pick your own. You can get a lobster burger. It's like serve in Durfer and it's a Diff in Durfer.

And then they make, you make the burger. It's like Dippin' Durfer, but it's a dip and durfer. And Dan, they make you make the burger? Yes. Or other people. Then you have to wait for someone to come in to make your burger. Wow, it's a Dippin' Durfer. What are Dippin' Dots taste like? We do things a little differently here at Dippin' Durfer.

Ice cream. They're little tiny balls that you can mash together. They're great. You've never had Dippin' Dots? They're so good. Go to a water park. I love water parks. Diffenderfer.

Diffenderfer. Okay, I'm gonna get a Diffenderfer and go to a water park. Go with Diffenderfer. We don't care if you're a surfer, come on in to Diffenderfers. Hi. Oh, that's good. I'm Robin Diffenderfer.

A lot has been said about me in the news lately. I could be Robin Diffenderfer. My bangs would have to be straight up. Hi, I'm Robin Diffenderfer. And yes, have to be straight up. Hi, I'm Robin Diffenderfer, and yes, I did get run over by a cop on the beach. Brian ran over Robin Diffenderfer. But you'll be flattened by our prices at Diffenderver Burgers.

At Pound Town. You don't make your own, you make a different one. We do things the same around here. Okay, Robin Diffenderfer got ran over by Todd Bryan after Todd made a right turn on St. Pete Beach while responding to a 911 call to sheriff's office. A car! A car! Diffenderfer sustained injuries that were not life threatening.

Of course. Of course. I wouldn't do this story if we lost a Diffenderfer. No, you can't. Gaultierre said Bryan received a written reprimand rather than a harsher punishment because... This might be my favorite part of the story a reenactment showed that he couldn't see Diffender for laying in the sand from his point in view of the vehicle which means they went out to the beach she was here on lay down where

Diffender for was and to see any road and he ran over that person and unsolved mysteries reenacted him running her over. We got a stray Diffender. Is it a car? Is it a car? Yes, it's an SUV. Damn! Oh my god.

Diffender. Maybe the argument is that because it's on sand, she could sink down. Dude. It's because there's no roadways, you just made a U-turn without. How did she survive this? Wait, we're assuming it's a she.

It could be a he. The sand might be the reason she did survive. Is Robin a she or a he? We don't know. It's gotta be. Oh, it's a she. It could be a he. The sand might be the reason she did survive. Is Robin a she or a he? We don't know. It's gotta be. Oh, it's a she. Okay. In my belief.

Yeah. Your Diffin's in my- And it's Robin Williams. Your Diffin's in my Durfer. I'm a Diffin' Durfer. Your Durfer's in my Diffin'. I'm a, get your Durfer out of my Diffin'. Get your Diffin' out of my Diffin'.

Get my Diffin'. Two great tastes that taste great together. Diffin', Diffin', Durfer out of my Diffin! Get your Diffin out of my Diffin! Two great tastes that taste great together Diffin, Diffin, Durfer Burgers Make it for someone else. Alright. Gaultieri. Yeah? He comes back in. He also said Brian's culpability was reduced

because the Sheriff's Office lacked policies for driving on the sand that could have prevented the incident. So not only can you, most punishment is 24 hours out the door. They have no rules. They've also said, we've never even created

beach driving rules. Sorry. What do you want us to do? My bad, my B. Multi-Airy said his agency is developing a new policy for driving on the beach, look around, but declined to discuss specifics, saying changes are in the works,

which means changes are not happening. No one's doing anything. We kicked him down the road to another administration. He doesn't wanna do y'all. Just for fun, we'll end this episode here. How old is Diffenderfer? How old do you think Robin Diffenderfer was when she got ran over by Todd Bryan's hazard ass?

48. Please tell me it's hyphenated. Who said it was hyphenated? Diffenderfer. No! 48. 26. Brian's Hazard Ass. Please tell me it's hyphenated. Who said it was hyphenated? No! Okay. 48. 26.

Do you think she goes Diffenderfer? Two Ds, three Fs. Three Es. Three Es. Okay. It's like a report card of an idiot. Two Ds, three Fs. Couple of Es.

Okay, what did you say? I said 26. Okay. 37. Okay. 37. 48. 48? Arden, thank you for coming on our show. Love you.

Aw, thanks for having me. Will you accept this rose as the podcast? Listen to that. Please listen to us. SuperSclars.com. DanielVancour.com. We love you guys. We'd love to see people and join our Patreon too.

We have lots of good stuff on there as well. All right, ready? Yep. Robin Diffenderfer. Uh-huh. Got ran over. At the age of? Of 23 years old.

Oh! Yay, very good. Wow. For young kids, for young and out there sunbathing. Wow. Super fun, thank you, come see us all live. We love you and O-Snap, we gotta get back to work. Cheese.

Stick around, make a sound, there's more to People Town. What's up, winners? My name is Jeremy Elder. This is Hunter Sailing. And I'm Corey Peter Lane. You are listening to the Business Casual Podcast. It's the Business Casual Show.

That's how we decided the name. That's a new idea that I have. Every week, each one of us will bring a brand new segment to the podcast, whether that be a game, whether that be trivia, a character, a deep dive, or whatever else we want to bring to the table. And it's fun. We promise it's fun. Did somebody say liberal Joe Rogan? I didn't.

You can listen to the Business Casual Show on Spotify, Apple podcasts and wherever you get your podcasts. Also, we're on YouTube. Ever heard of it? Tariffs have been increased for white men with podcasting equipment, and we are willing to pay We are releasing this show every Monday produced by ATC all things comedy