Dumb People Town - Carmen Christopher - My Uncle The Beachball

Episode Date: November 18, 2025

Comedian and actor Carmen Christopher (The Bear) stops by as Daniel describes how a Brazilian woman married a rag doll, Randy explains how bulls escaped from a rodeo, and Jason warns against chugging Tabasco sauce and challenging people to a fight, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsors: Chewy, BetterHelp, and Hims! Every pet deserves a wish come true. Send your pet’s wish to Chewy.com/ChewyClaus and it might become a reality. Plus, your wish means Chewy will donate 5 meals to pets in need. This month, don’t wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/DPT. To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit Hims.com/DPT.

Give it up for Chicago. Sebastian Manuscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st. 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos? Complete nerd. Bezos now, ripped the shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep coming! Sebastian Manuscalco, It Ain't Right.

Premiers November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. On today's episode of Dumb People Town, we've got a woman married to a man. We've got Bulls on parade, and we've got a guy who brings Tabasco to a knife fight. You don't want to miss it. It's Dump People Town with Carmen Christopher. Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folk so unaware they lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose will make the news.

Breaking down each epic bail in Florida, there's half-price bail. I'm happy to say they couldn't make this so listen to our podcast band with co-host our man Dan Man dirt, don't be a jerk because when the music which the funny hits

and we are gonna take you down stick around make a sound tongue you down it's dumb people town Tonnies before we get into this episode we have a little baby puppy in the Van Kirk family a little beagle by the name of Maisie Louise

and I love it because one of my favorite things in the holidays is taking pictures of our family pets with Santa hats on. Everybody loves that. It makes everybody smile. Pets are our holiday gift to us. Well, guess what? You can also do a little bit of holiday giving through Chewy. That's why I'm joining the Chewy Clause. They are out there making pet wishes come true from November 4th until December 24th. You can share your pets wish at chewy.com slash Chewy Clause. That's C-L-A-U-U-E-S. it could become real and it helps others too each wish triggers a donation of five meals to

shelters and rescues across the country you submit through the Chewy app and they will double the donation a wish for a pet really is the wish that keeps on giving stick around make a sound come you're down it's dumb people town hey Tadies welcome to another episode of Dumb People

Town population Population Christopher Carmen Christopher What's up dude? What's up bud? My fellow comedy Central comic to watch. That's right. 2016.

Yeah, you guys. We knew it would change our lives. And then now you're sitting here, which means that the Cubs will win the World Series. We haven't seen each other in almost nine years. We haven't seen each other in nine years.

The last time we saw each other, they won the World Series. And the time before that, 1908, right? That's what you guys hung out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hung out in 1908 and then they won there. We were supposed to hang out in 45. We didn't. Cubs lost the problem.

This is the problem. 2004, you guys were hanging out a lot of them. 1908, you guys were at UCB doing improv. Long form, improv. Yeah. Long form. Here's the deal. Here's the deal, Carmen.

The world is a dumb world. We understand this on, like, the deepest of levels. Yeah, for sure. We try and make fun of it, and we try and make sense of it through comedy and through dumb stories. Silly. To us by our friends. These are real news stories.

So we're going to get into one right away. News is very loose. As it is in all aspects of life right now. News, like most of people we cover on the news. Loose. Very loose. Very loose. Especially when we do things we got stuck inside us.

Very loose. Okay, this was sent him by Nick Bowes. And I do have Bose. I have Nick Speakers. At chef Nick 80. I wonder where he works. Here's the headline. I was loveless before I married a rag doll.

Ragdow living in a movie. There you go. Right? So, I mean, anybody can love anything. Yeah. I think so. Yeah, but love less means no one loved me. Now the doll loves...

If she had said, I had nothing to love until I married a rag doll. Wait, what were you about to say? Well, I was going to say, you know, there's people that are, you know, in relationships with their, you know, sex dolls. Lamp or their... Chandeliers. There's many airplanes. We've done that. Car, car.

So, I mean, you know what? If as long as this guy is not... Woman. Woman is... Oh, it's a woman. Yeah. You're out. All of a sudden, you take a hard thing.

I don't know if I... Believe in it. You get up in the That's what this show is. I just think there's plenty of horny guys out there. She's got to go out a little bit more. A woman? Don't take yourself off the market.

In Brazil, found a man who was made for her. Would you like to guess who wrote this? A man. Well, the pun alone. The New York Post. 100%. New York Post. I was going to say New York Post.

New York Post, notorious for writing bad puns. Right. Yeah. The worst. Other than sports. They're clickbait, right? Totally. Yeah, more turnbate.

Yeah. But cookbait would be the name of their article about fishing. Right. Question about New York Post for somebody who's never lived in New York. Other than sports, if you're on the cover of the New York Post, it's never good. Never. Horrible. Horrible.

Like sports will be like champions. They can be bad too. But how often is someone on the cover of the New York Post for something good that isn't sports? They say, we don't celebrate people. Never. We expose them. Yeah, right? They're never like...

Hero returns. That's page four. So this gal found a rat now. Woman in Brazil found a man who was made for her. Sure. Merry Vone? Roca Moreses. Have you tried the Rocca Moreses?

It's fabulous. It is fabulous. One of the best desserts I've ever heard. What kind of... What is that? It's like an almond roca. It's an almond roca with inside of it. But they have the marays on top.

They drizzle. They drizzle. It's a slight dripping and drizzling. It's a drizzle. Hey, man, I'm in as long as there's not tree nuts in it. Oh, yeah, you're fine, you're fine. None. No, trust me seeds either.

Out. M.R.M. complained to her mother about being single and stressed about not having a dance partner. In attempt to cheer her daughter up, the mother made her a rag doll named Marcello, according to Jam Press. I love when New York Post is like, we have to distance ourselves on something. Yeah, someone else said this, that we're reporting on. Quote, when my mom made Marcello and first introduced me to him, I fell in love with him.

This is a real-life weird science. It was love at first sight. You're right. Minus the timely lightning. Minus the science. This is weird. It was because I didn't have a, forgive me, guys, I'm not super cultured. Foro dancer?

F-O-R-R-O. Foro dancer. I don't know. None of us know. Okay, cool. We're all done. I didn't have a 4-0 dancer. I would go to these dances, but wouldn't always find a partner.

Then he entered into my life, and it all made sense. Mores and Marcello. Anybody? Mores and Marcello? The Brazilian Rizole and Isles. Reportedly have been in a romantic. They love that joke more than anything in the world. Anytime you do two last names, they are on it.

That result. Mores and Marcello reportedly have gone. I'm just having a good time. I'm just chilling. I've reportedly been in a romantic relationship since the day they met. Now, Reportedly. I'm going to show you the two of them.

I love that, like, the reportedly gives you, like, name of doubt. Right. There's, like, a seat of doubt that they couldn't be. I don't know if he's satisfied. I don't know if he's happy with this relationship. Okay. Let me see that. Oh, my God.

It's disappointing, right? I mean, she's an attractive woman. She's cute. I imagine, for listeners, I'm showing them. picture of you imagine a more real it by your chest hold it right up to your chest so the people on YouTube can see there you go I mean it should

be a better doll it should be more realistic her mom made it like a factory didn't make but even with somehow mom made it made me think it would be better I mean is it a balloon head he somehow is in white face and black face it's like strangely racist he does have that soul glow

you can see this again you can see it as much as you want Let me hold it fatal. Look at this guy. Carmen, you fall in love with them? I mean, no. Let me get her mom's at. There's a part of it that makes you wonder why it's dressed in a tuxedo. Because they got married.

Oh, they got married. There's like a photo of like, there's like a sex photo in the back here. Do you see there? There is. Oh, I didn't see that. And some like, look at this. The charger and the phone. Somebody was really good at highlights magazines.

I love that you're noticing there's a phone charging on the floor behind. Look at there's, there's tissue from cleaning. up after the seventh. Come on. Well, we don't even talk about what's on the bed. There's rose petals. Rose petals on the bed. Who put that there?

I don't even know if that's a bed. I think he did. He did. It looks like a couch. Yeah, it looks like a foldout. More of a day bed. And by the way, the lighting in there perfect for sex.

Aaron's got it. Pulled up for us too. There it was. Okay. It's beautiful. I mean, there's more. She's not ugly either. No, she just didn't have a dance partner.

She's cute. I'm sorry. I should have kept going. Aaron, you probably already seen this. Oh, God. In the tub. In the tub. Why are we in a tub?

Because that's what you do. Turn the jets on. You fill that thing up with water. That doll is dead. Yeah. Gone. Like his suit disintegrates. The thing that creeps you out the most is the hands.

Yeah. You don't want your partner to be musty. See, the hands? The hands are big. I'm just going to throw my husband. Women like guys with big hands. That's fair. Big hands.

You know what that means? I'm just going to throw my partner in the dryer. You never want to say. Never want to sit. He is always, he is a. man I always wanted in my life because he doesn't talk. Need to know news.com after being together for

several months. I bet he watches a lot of football though. I can't wait to read this sentence. After being together for several months Mores discovered that she was pregnant. No! How? What? That's cool.

That's pretty great. It's true. It's beautiful. She's going to get birth to a pillow. This is a quote from her. It's true. Marcello got me pregnant. He didn't take care of him. and he didn't use a condom she claimed he got me pregnant i took the test it was positive i couldn't believe it okay so now this is what i'm going to say now it's a delusional person it's a delusional person that there's a person who needs to be put away or she doesn't want her mom to know

so that she's having sex outside of her marriage yeah so here's the deal it's a baby out of wedlock so here's a deal i have seen videos of like a guy who's dating a woman and he brings her over to his apartment for her house for the first time they've been dating for a while and he introduces her to all of his sex dolls, okay? The dolls that he has anything. And she is really cool about it. And it's like, okay, I, this is interesting.

I really like this guy, and that's fine. In that world, I'm like, he likes this. He likes it. Let him have it and let him do it. And so, like, that, there's like a rationality to it. I'm like, this is what he likes, and he also likes her, and that's fine.

Her saying she got pregnant from the doll, I'm like, you're out. You're out? Well, Carmen, I just showed you the photo. I think that that doll knocked her up. You do? He's a sex, but she's fair. I just think that, like, listen, I've never seen it not come.

That's right. You don't know. You don't know. You don't know what he can do. This is them on the bed. Is that him naked or in pajamas? He's a rag doll. Pajamas.

What's the difference between him naked then? Bro, you don't know. You don't want to know. You can't handle the truth. You're about to get pregnant. look at the screen doesn't have feet yeah well yeah that's those are footy pajamas bro but he

doesn't have feet he doesn't have feet how can he be a dance partner that's also is that a mirror reflecting the bathtub they were laying in or that's the door to the bathtub's in the background this is a hotel it's a sex hotel I also like that he's like listen I'm not going to drink mine I'm just going to

leave it on the head bar it looks like beer and a champagne flute you think the photographer got in on it yeah I'm taking a picture a picture bro i swear to god i hadn't even thought of who's taking the photos well that's who got her pregnant so we know where we're going right now i still think it's the doll like are they pregnant but i do think that the photographer probably got off right so if the photographer that's his that's his fetish photographer and you know the photographer is like let's wait and see how this develops there

you go that's that's a new york post line that's the wedding was a wonderful day for me very important very emotional it rained a lot but it was wonderful more i said From the moment I walked down the aisle to the end, it was just beautiful. For the moment I dragged him down the aisle. Then went to the wedding night with my husband, Marcelo, and we enjoyed our wedding night a lot. Okay, you're a guest invited to this wedding. You are on the next thing. What do you get them?

What do you get? This is the emperor's new clothes. What do you get the woman who has everything? What do you get the woman who has a blow-up husband? I'll probably get her. I'm going to go for Breeze. That's a good one. Bounce.

Yeah. Any sort of rag cleaning. Yeah, I mean, whatever you can do. Yeah. Alcohol. I probably get, like, some, you know those, like, old, actually come back to me.

Okay, got it. Got it. So, no, no. You know those old, you know what? Forget it. No, we're leaving it in. You can go in on with me with the Thomas Kincaid print that I'm going to get them.

Oh, nice. I did actually think of, like, you know, old Miami Dolph. and like sheets. Sure. He probably loves them. Yeah, I think that would be kind of cool. The couple welcomed how many guests at their wedding

and then snuck off to a beach house in Rio de Janeiro for a week-long honeymoon. How many people should be zero? How many people do you think can't be real? 130. 130 from Randy. Jason or Carmen? 70. 70.

470. Oh, please. They welcomed 250. Oh, my God. 177 people at my wedding that's unreal how many dolls were there i know oh they count them all the same they count them all this after the honeymoon the couple welcomed their dad their doll child marshalinho look at look at the screen on 824s erin i love you for happy these photos she i also love that she's got the hat on like her hair is whatever's in her hair she looks like she delivered the baby

Look at the baby, guys. It looks like she's doing a hospital that allowed this. For the listener at home who has not gone to YouTube, you should. You are not, you're missing out on this Anthony Davis looking baby. I will say they got the blood off the baby quick. Very quick. Very quick. The brow of those sheets.

Yeah. Well, blood stains. So, so this is a bunch of people like, let's keep this straight up for this crazy person. Also, the fact that, you know, you never see, like she should be laying in bed. I'm not to tell her how to do this, but she should be laying in bed. You have notes. You have notes for her coping mechanisms for life. You're going to do it right.

She is holding the baby like she's the father. Let's also say, she delivered naturally no drugs so she can stay. There's a natural childbirth? What do they do with the placenta? We shouldn't have to this. They turned into a hemorrhoid pillow. If you've listened to this show long enough, you already know. She's not hurting herself.

She's not hurting anybody else. We are fine with this. I'm happy for you. fine with it. I'm not mad at it at all. I'm not mad at her. They welcome their child Marseillejo on May 21st. She gave birth you want to guess how long the birth tick?

To a six ounce kid. Ten hours. How long did the labor take? Two hours. Thirty-five minutes at home with a doctor and nurse on site. Oh, wow. Is that seamstress? No, the nurse is just like, what are we doing? The nurse is like, look, I need money.

They did all this while live stream. screaming it to an audience of how many people. If it's more than the wedding guests. Carmen's already laughing. I mean, it's got to be 2000. Could you imagine you're home and drunk or you're home in high? And you're scrolling through and somebody was like,

someone's giving birth to a dog. A friend of yours who's a comic just goes, don't ask any questions, just hit this link. And you're high or drunk at home. Oh, my God. And you tap this link. And there is a birth of a rag doll baby in Brazil.

It's perfect. You would be like... I'm watching this till the end. This is the greatest bit. It's my final bit of my stand-up. Yes, you gotta watch it. You have to watch. You got to watch it.

How many people do you think? He said 2,000. Well, actually, I want to change mine. I want to change mine to however many people were watching the Canello Crawford fight. Oh, yeah, that was... Whatever that is. Whatever that number is. I watched both of those at a bar.

40,000? No. I'd say like maybe 7,000 people. Okay. A hundred thousand. 200 people. There you go. Less.

Less than the wedding. I didn't feel the contractions in pain, she claimed. Really? Seeing the placenta and umbilical cord and the blood made it all real. He was here in 35 minutes. It was great. I want to see a bloody photo. Yeah.

I don't know. I watch this whole experience and I'm a little deflated. Perales said she and her family are extremely happy together, despite the stress of her being the only breadwinner in the house. What? He has so many great qualities. Isn't he a hand model? But the only downside is that he's lazy. He doesn't work at all.

Well, he could be a pool raft, yeah. Pillar model. Yes, he could also be, he could get a full-time job as a CPR model. Yeah. Could be a pillow. He could test safety on cars, 100%. Crash test on me. He doesn't work at all, but I am a warrior and I keep it going for us, she told Jamper.

God bless her. Mores is working hard to provide for a family and hates when people tell her that her family is fake. This woman reminds me a lot of my mom. Yeah? How so? Just warrior. A delusional warrior. A legend. A delusional warrior. The breadwinner.

Yeah. That whole type of thing. It really upsets. Raising a family on a woman. Yeah. She's doing it on a whole cloth. Raising a family literally out of whole cloth. Yeah. It really obsessed me when people say, this is fake.

It makes me so angry. I'm a woman of character. My father, my mother taught me to be honest, to be a good person and not to want to take advantage of anything. Despite the hate or judgment she receives, Mores says she is happy. she is happy and in love with her new family. Married life with him is wonderful, she told Jam Press.

He doesn't fight with me. He doesn't argue, and he just understands me. That's a great point. He's a great and faithful husband. He is such a man and all... Well, hey, don't for... He's a man. He's still my cheat.

And all women envy him. Do they? Yeah. I mean, I feel worse for her, the worst for her friends. Who have to play the charade out and be like, let's have a dinner party i'm bringing my husband do you mind if i bring the baby what do we do look at them sorry i got a breastfeed right now clearly she's got a lot she's got 200 people at the wedding sure i'm saying there's a lot of people involved there's a lot of people involved in like

there was some tough cuts to make you know breadwinner she doesn't have enough money to have the 800 people she wants to know how many people from his side they had to invite that's what i'm saying that's where it gets hard right yeah there was a his uncle's a beach ball his uncle is a beach ball might be the title of this my uncle the beach ball his uncle is a beach ball my uncle the beach ball that's such a great dumb sentence randy all right let's get out of here on this who's the writer of this article somebody at the new york post what's the writer's name somebody who's like please get me

out here i'll tap the link and find out for you might as well give him some credit open link here we go it is i really don't want to I don't want to give them crap. What if we know them? Oh yeah, don't give them. By Adriana Diaz, Nick Diaz's sister. There we go. Nate's sister.

Nate's. Okay. Let's leave Story 1 here. How old is she? How old? Okay, we've seen her. His Mores. Whose full name?

I can't remember. Mervone Roca Mores. I did my best there. She looks good. Yeah, you've seen multiple photos of her. I mean, she's got one kid. I'll review for you. I'm going to say she's 30.

seven okay 32 oh I was going to say 32 you can go you know whatever you want 32 32 okay one of those numbers is exactly right so now we get to play the game who do you think is right you can stay with yourself

I'm staying at 30s I'm staying at 30s I'm staying at one of those numbers okay we're right we're right let's close out I mean I have as much belief in myself and this number as I believe this marriage is going to work. You know what? I bet you it does work.

If it's working now, why would it go wrong? When she wakes up. Mervone, Rokes Morales, I'm sorry, is 37 years old. Randy Sklar. Andy's got story, too, when we come back. Hispanic people, they don't age. We'll find out everything you need to know about Carmen, his comedy, shows where you can follow him and see it.

This is all happening on the other side of the break. That's going on. That's right. Carmen Christopher on Dumb People Town. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound. Hunger Down is Dump People Town.

Townies, one of the big things for me in the holidays is I love taking pet photos of them in Santa Hats. I don't know why. It'll always be funny to me. But my love for animals is tied directly to the holidays. And we have a little beagle and our family, a little puppy, name Maisie Louise. There's a lot of Z's in there, which is good because she's a puppy and she sleeps literally all the time. But there are the things that make our season bright, these little pets, all right?

That's why I'm joining the Chewy Clause. They are out there making pet wishes come true from November 4th to December 24th. So right up until Christmas Eve, this is happening right now. You can share your pets wish at chewy.com slash chewy clause, C-L-A-U-U-S. I don't want you to get confused. it could become real and help others too each wish triggers a donation of five meals to shelters and rescues across the country submit through the chewy app and they'll double the donation a wish for a pet really is the wish that keeps on giving you this is so awesome pet parents can

send their pets wished again i'm going to tell you to chewy dot com slash chewy claws that's c l-a-us and help make some other like pets because you need to understand this it's present the joy. It means five meals get donated to pets and needs. Do it through the Chewy app. Shelters and rescues can join in on the Joy by submitting their own wish list to Chewy Clause. Their community can find their wish list and donate items directly to them. You're just spreading joy for animals through Chewy. This is how great they are. This is something where I'm like, well, you're going to do this every holiday season. I'm going to help a whole bunch of pets in need. my little pets got a little wish

let's do this everybody every pet deserves a wish come true send your pets wish to chewy.com slash chewy clause and it might become a reality plus your wish means chewy we'll donate five meals to pets in need this episode is brought to you by better help

yeah I mean talking to somebody having therapy in your life can only be a positive you know we do so many things where we like I'm gonna go to the gym I'm gonna go for run I'm gonna work out we could do that for our emotional states as well I'm a person who has had therapy in my life for a very long, very long time.

And I think BetterHelp is one of the best ways to be able to connect with a therapist and have someone to talk to. And this time of year when the days are getting shorter, it certainly is. Oh, the holidays are coming. Seasonal depression. Winter is coming. Didn't they used to say that? Check in on your friends, see how they're doing it. Better help.

See how grandma's doing. Better help might be a tool that can help them get through this time. And look, they've got great therapists who work according to a strict code of conduct or fully love. license in the U.S., they got a great match commitment system. They do the initial matching work for you, which usually works out. They're usually on the money, but if it's not, they'll switch out for you. That's just life. And that is life. And different people have different therapy goals. When you go into therapy, they want to, the therapist meets you where you are and then helps you achieve those goals. If you're like, this is not working for me, better help. Okay, switch it out,

get you somebody that's better for you. There are tons of thousand, 30,000 therapist at better Help. Tons of reviews, 4.9 out of five is what the review number is. So clearly they're doing something right. They're connecting with people and it's a very easy way to dip your toe into the therapy thing and realize, hey, this is a great way to take care of myself. This month, don't wait to reach out whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself. BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash d pt that's better help.com slash dpt

townies it's me daniel van kirk i'm coming to you live from my own home studio because i had to make sure that within this episode i tell you about our sponsor hymns big intimate romantic moments in your life should have less stress and more confidence you know what i'm saying when ed shows up in the bedroom hymns helps you just keep your cool stay focused and keep your mind, your body, your interests on what matters most, having a great time with the person that you want to be with. All the good, not the worry.

That's what Hymns is all about. Through Hymns, you can access personalized prescription treatment options for ED like hard mints and sex RX plus climax control if prescribed. This isn't a one-size-fits-all-care that just forgets about you and leaves you sitting in the waiting room, wasting all your time. No, they put your health and your goals first with real medical providers,

making sure you get what you need to get results. Think of HEMS as your digital front door that gets you back to your old self with simple 100% online access to trusted treatments for ED and more, all in one place. To get simple online access to personalize affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more, visit Hymns.com slash dPT.

That's Hymns.com. slash d pt for your free online visit hymns.com slash d pt actual price will depend on product and subscription plan featured products include compounded drug products which the fdaa does not approve or verify for safety effectiveness or quality prescription required see website for details restrictions and important safety information stick around make a sound hunger down is don't people town Welcome back to the show before we get into what Carmen has going on. You can check him out and see him. We just did stand up with him and he was fantastic.

Daniel, let folks know what you have going on. Let him know. This will be after High Plains Comedy Festival. That was a joy and delight. Thank you for everybody who came to those shows. I love him time travel. I love him time travel. And you know what?

I recently sat on my podcast. So I'm doing a plug within a plug of my solo show, the Midnight Air. I said, if you ever see me at a festival and I am not eating or in the bathroom, you better come over and say hi. It is a festival. Is it a time for me to say hi to all my friends who are there? It is a time. Excuse me, I'm too up talking about it.

It's not going to start crying. And it's a time for you guys to say hi, too. So if you came out to high plans, I hope you said hi. I bring that up because there's another festival coming up that I'm doing. It is Flyover Comedy Festival. That is the 13th through the 16th. Correct. Banging it out last night on the 16th.

Huge show. Live Dumb People Town. We are going to have a Greenlee. We are going to have a Scoville. And we are going to have other guests to be. announced soon. Rory Frickin' Scole is our guest at the pageant theater. My podcast partner, one of my best friends in the world, along with some of the people in this room. We only see each other every nine years, but we got no beef. That's right. No beef. So go to

Daniel Van Kirk.com. Not that I know of. Clubs win the World Series when we hang together. Oh, yeah. You guys got to hang. You have to. Go to Daniel Vancirk.com for all that. And then I'm doing a big Habitat for Humanity charity show in Bloomington, Indiana. That is on November 22nd. You can get tickets for that goes to a great cost big old theater i'm headlining it i would love to see people there not just uh for a night of comedy but to also do some good and then i'll be doing uh kyle kane's kane's kane's giving shows those are on the 24th and 25th that's right before thanksgiving that monday and tuesday everything's up at daniel van kirk dot com i think you should have his

show sponsored by raising kane and call it raising canane yeah hell yeah um karmin dude it was so fun to do stand up with you you are fantastic i love the material that you're doing You're phenomenal on the bear. I'm barely, I'm barely, I'm barely, you are really are great on a great show. Thank you. How does that feel to be, like, great on a great show? It feels like fine. It doesn't feel like too much.

It should feel like more, right? You are also a part of the real comedy part of the show. Oh, thanks. You know, it gets a lot of like, man, succession is a comedy that pretends as a drama, and a lot of people say bear is a drama that says it's a comedy. you are part of the real comedy when comedy people like you guys who i've i'm fans of enjoy it that makes me feel good so i love it so i appreciate that there um did you have any if you had any scenes i think you have with oliver platt no we're in like

one time you were like maybe crossing or pat like in the kitchen at the same time maybe we're like in group scenes yeah yeah but nothing together yeah yeah just high level high level everything on that show and you're great and thanks i appreciate that i love Your character shows up, has a motive, has an idea, has fun. It's always like a window opens. A unique take on a person. Thank you, guys. I appreciate that.

That means a lot. What about dates and stuff like that? Stand-up special? I have a stand-up special on YouTube right now. It's called Live from the Windy City. And where did you tape that? I taped it in Chicago. Oh, wait.

Hold on a second. Hang on a minute. And you're calling it live from the Windy City? I don't like it. That makes no sense. I would call it live from the Emerald City. Yeah. It feels like a cool throwback to the night.

90s like that lie from the windy city like the windy city you know nobody calls it the windy city no um but yeah I shot it at the sleeping village I shot it last year do you know where that is do you know that I've never played there what is that so explain it it's awesome it's a really cool venue on the north side of Chicago and um it's just like a I wanted to shoot it there because it's just like you if you look at the building from the exterior it's just like a standard brick very Chicago looking building and it's simple but inside there's a bar and then separated is the music venue which is soundproof so you could drink or watch the show whatever but the the room to do comedy and i highly recommend doing a show there awesome yeah and it's really cool um but yeah i shot that last year tim robinson and zack cannon

uh produced it for me so great they were really helpful and like you know just being supportive i think and helping pitch it and stuff great and um i'm really proud of it it's good And then, yeah, and I'm doing shows. What am I doing shows? I have, I'm taking some time off. I was on tour all summer, but I'm doing some shows in November. Great. On November 7th in Massachusetts and Rockwell and November 8th at the Bell House in Brooklyn.

Love the Bell House. We do our live, dumb people town, too. That's a wonderful thing. What's the site? Website or wherever people can go. Just go to my Instagram and click on the bio. And your handle is? Carmen, yes, Carmen.

Carmen. And also two weeks. Season 2 of English teacher comes out. I'm in every episode. Are you? That's great, dude. And I got storylines in every episode. Hey now, dude.

That's a wonderful show, too. Cook in this. Sean Pat. I get to, yeah, Sean's in it. Sean's great. Sean and I have some real fun scenes where we wrestle. That's all you had to say. Fantastic.

I love it. All right. I'm going to jump in this story. Shall we do it? Thanks for letting me plug, guys. Of course, bro. Of course. You got to do that.

Hey, man. All right. This is sent in by we talking about practice at Not a Game underscore three here we go um this there i didn't get the headline which is kind of dumb that's okay wing it what would you call it this is no bull i thought you're going to say your uncle is your beach ball right your uncle is my beach uncle is a beach ball uh first responders in a massachusetts city had to exercise some impromptu roundup skills when eight bulls escape from a rodeo being held in

the parking lot scottie a rodeo in massachusetts scottie pippin horace grand okay Keep going, keep going, keep going. Bill Perdue, Will Perdue, Luke Longley, Steve Kerr, Judd Bushler, John Harper, Dickie Seventh, John Berschon, John Paxon, Charles Oakley, Matt Paxton from hoarders. Brad Sellers. All right, a lot. This summer, I watched the 91 finals this summer, every game.

Tony Kukoch. If someone did a 30 for 30 about Tony Kukuch's prostitute ring, I would watch that in the heart. Does he have one? Yeah, we had one. Shut up. Yeah, for real. Fully, full proclamation. There's one coming out about Kerr, like next year, I think.

Yeah. The story about his dad is insane. All right, so eight most. His dad was the ambassador to, like, Lebanon or was like a foreign dignitary. Yeah, let's get into that more. Let's sit that down. This is a comedy podcast, but continue. It was me.

Sorry. Dan brought it up. All right. This is Noble. First responders in a Massachusetts city, maybe close to where you're doing comedy, had to exercise some imprompt. roundup skills when eight bulls escaped from a rodeo being held in the parking lot of a mall in north Attleboro on Sunday. So you have them. So tell the story of our very first day on the set of

wildhugs, literally driving from Albuquerque to this place called Madrid, which is where it was, or Madrid. We were in Albuquerque. We were in Santa Fe. We were staying in Santa Fe. Yeah. Oh, we were staying in San Francisco. And then, so we drive to the set and it's like there's a live bull on the set. Three of them. Three live bulls, stuntmen, all these people. Animal Wranglers. John Travolta. Martin Lawrence.

Martin Lawrence. Tim Allen. Bill Macy. Bill Macy. Dennis Rodman. Dennis Rodman. And Stephen Tobolowski, who were like the most excited about because we love Tobolowski, you know.

He's the character who's been everything. So Randy and I are playing the deputies and Tobolowski is a sheriff in this town and we're on this fence. I've watched that show. And it's about getting, you know, the guys to slap a bull like that's a tradition in the town so they're in a round corral so we're nervous

because we're pulling up to this set to be in a scene of like 200 people there's like so many people out here on this set because you need safety people and then it's like a lot of people watching the stuff also we're like we don't we kind of have lines in it but they want us to improvise a bunch of stuff as as things are happening and it's fun and you know

you're feeling that like we gotta bring it because you're also on one of those sets where everyone else, they're going to go till they get it. Whatever you need, how many takes you need, all these four people, whatever. But for you guys, they're like, deliver. Let's go. Get it in this moment. And then there's a lot of waiting around time

because John Travolta has not come back from lunch. So now we're standing on a fence with Tim Allen and Martin Lawrence and William H. Macy. I love Martin Lawrence, by the way. Martin was the greatest. This is my first comedy inspiration. I love him. He was the best.

He was phenomenal. But the point is we're rolling up, great telling of the story, Jay. We roll up to the set and there are bulls just running free, wild because they've gotten out. Shut up. And they're running free. They lost control of the bulls. One of them like goes into a trailer and slams in the show. This is what we see as we're pulling up, like just a loose bull.

In your car. Yeah. We're in the car that's bringing us to the set. The bull's like 50 feet from us. Like 20 yards. They're like, do not get out of the car. Do not get out of the car. They kept us in the car until they can wrangle these bulls.

You're like your guys is comedy apocalypse now. Aren't you guys like, can we just drive away? No, we're like, we wish we were in something that could get us away from here, but too bad we're in a car. But like the rental car was red, it would have followed. You didn't think about like turning around and driving out. We were in a car driven by someone else and we're like, we're going to stay here until this gets wrangled and we're like, uh... And they're like people chasing after the bull. Oh my God, it was crazy.

We were like, we need this job. So community members should actually... So we'll die for it. Oh, yeah. This is the life of an act. You get a death on. Who's, whose responsibility is the bull? Is it the second AD or the second AD?

No, it's the animal wrangler. There's that voice coming in the booth. That's Aaron in the booth. All right, community members should exercise extreme caution and not approach any bulls, the agency said, really? North Adaburowboro's fire chief says firefighters are working a detail at the rodeo 999 South Washington Street where when they witnessed the eight bulls escape from their pen and flee into the woods behind BJ's restaurant and brewhouse. Hi. That's too many. I mean, there they're gone.

That's a small stampede. It feels like they know where they're going. I can't get a handle on the weather. This woman's in like a winter park on this guy's in a t-o-o shirt. All right. The remaining seven, the New England rodeo members, first of all, New England rodeo. That should not be a thing. That's what I said, Massachusetts rodeo.

Two northeastern to be a rodeo. They can't have it. These bowls are wicked hot. They're so freaking high. So New England rodeo members. in Norton and members from the rodeo also assisted with the search efforts. So now you're just searching for bulls in the woods.

Many were shocked by what they saw Sunday and took out their cell phones as the Bulls took off down Route 1. But perhaps no one was more shocked than Atabro resident, Chris Mooney, who saw the Bulls walk down his street and through his yard. As soon as I stepped out and looked out there,

I said, those aren't horses? Good job, good job, Chris. Nice, buddy. Those are literally bulls and oh my God. It's a great quote. Two of them were laying down, and another was budging the fence to try and get out. And the other ones were just sitting there. Mooney said his two boys stayed inside and watched from a safe distance.

According to the fire department, six bowls were found stuck behind a fence at a home on Prescott Street and Atabro. So they wrangled themselves. Your Honor, I have a question. Those things don't know their bulls? Isn't it a rodeo? Yeah. Is it not full of people who can wrangle bulls? No.

Go rope them. No, because you don't rope a bull. Half you can rope. But the bulls. No, no, no. I just mean wrangle. Just, just, just, aren't there rodeo clown?

To me, I'd be so funny if like, even that, you see a rodeo clown. Get a barrel. Pushing a barrel down the street and there's a guy in it. Get out, Jerry. Yes.

Go get them. So, uh, at what time? You've kind of seen the weather and whatnot. What time of day do you think this? Three in the afternoon. Three in the afternoon? What do you think?

I mean, that could have been early. That could have been really early or late afternoon. I think this is about 12. Okay. What do you think? I'm going to go 9 a.m. Okay. Get your answers in town.

It's because this happened around 4. 4.30 p.m. The search team members were able to safely corral all six into a trailer without further incident. Neighbors watched his rodeo employees, tried to work to get the Bulls into the trailer. At first, I just felt bad for the Bulls. I'm like, they escaped for a reason, said this is one of the best names. I love this name so much. G, G, G, G, E, is that G, G, or G, that's, G.

I'm going, gee. Say it all. Say it all. Just jump off the plane. Go for it. Gee Salthanivet. You're going to drive Southanivet. When you get to Nivet, you've gone too far.

You've gone too far. Is he on North Nivet or South? Southon Nivet. All right. South on Nivis. I still think it's Ge'e-e-e-e-Som-Than-Nivet. All right. Overall, people were happy to see the animals unharmed and taken away.

They had a fence. They crowd them into a trailer. And that was it, Sontan-Evette said. while seven of the eight were corralled by late Sunday afternoon, one of them is still on the land. Still for you, right? Good for you.

And Gie was right. They don't want to be there. They don't want to be in this rodeo. They want to be free. They're also stressed while they're running. Right. Ge's like, I've talked to him. You're like, what?

I sent them a message. All right. They're answering me. It's like, then it gets loose in Massachusetts. Like, I don't want to be here either. By the way, loose in Massachusetts. What are we going to do? Go to Harvard?

That's right. What are we going to do? That bulls found a quiet little home and cohasset mass right on the south shore. Beautiful. Good bull hunting. First responders were still coming the streets for that. Remaining Rogue Bull, anyone who sees the bull and is still on the loose that's still on the loose reminded not to approach it. Instead, call 911.

The festival rodeo at the Emerald Square Mall, a one-day event was shut down, official says. They never had it. How the Bulls escaped is still under investigation. Oh, somebody allowed a mile. We got to investigate that. Somebody allowed a mile. Again, when you look at the people who set up the one-day carnival rides, you're like, how are these things safe? Yeah.

This can't be safe. Like, the things swinging around. Like, when things go, like, you're like, this can't be. I know they've done it a thousand times, but they're going to miss something. They're putting it together. For sure. Whoever is setting up a rodeo in a mall parking lot. Hey, the world could always use another bartender.

That's right. You guys know what that's from? Alec Baldwin departed. Yep. Oh. The departed. You must be the other guy. Who?

I'm the guy doing my job. Walberg. Walberg. So good. They're so good in that movie. I just re-watched it. I'll watch it whenever it's on. Until the rat's on the wire and then I turn it off.

You know, I was kind of watching it like in the background. And it's like funny because you're like, the whole movie is like, you know, Leo's a cop and Matt Damon's a bad guy. That's the movie. And I'm like, what are they actually like? like fighting over you know like what do they go like what is the thing he's trying to take down whitey bulger period yeah sure so like that from the inside and whitey bulger is one step ahead by having a cop so like he like sort of raised that he that he kind of brought so so they're they're they're chasing each other in a sense like wady bulger's trying to keep doing what he's

doing which is what would it crime crime crime and did that but like i was like what kind of crime Were they, like, getting a bunch of microchips? That's the thing. That's the part I'm talking about where I'm like, that's the thing he's doing bad. Don't you worry about it. Which is like microchips now in 2025. That's a big storyline. It's a remake of a Japanese series.

Yes. Oh, wow. Infernal affairs. Might explain why. All right, there you go. That is story number two down books. When we come back, we'll let you know what we have going on. Jake, you give us a tease of what we're going to hear in story.

Yeah. A man challenging other people to a fight after. drinking something. See, I like it. It's Dumb People Town with Carmen Christopher. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound, hunger down. It's Dump People Town. Hey, guys, welcome back to the show. Before we jump into this final episode, we've got to let people know. Hey, if you, we're going to be in Ann Arbor, Michigan on October 4th, which is the

Wisconsin game. It's homecoming. Two shows at the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase. Cannot wait to do that. If you're in Southern California, if you're in Orange County, we're doing a stage reading of our two-man show at the South Coast Rep. theater on October. So excited on October 7th. We'll let you know all those dates and whatnot will be on. We also joined PunchUp. Live, which I highly recommend everybody to join. It's wonderful. It's a page. It's got all of our dates, got some clips on it. So look us up on there and follow us on that because that'll tell you all the dates we have. But the Flyover Fest

in St. Louis, I'm very excited about on November 16th, which is a Sunday, live down people town at the pageant theater with Rory Scoville, plus maybe some special guests. We got a Greenlee. good stuff happening all that and then we're going to be in Cleveland or excuse me in Cincinnati on December 12th working on a December 13th date and then we're going to be in La Jollaia on the January 9th through 11th

SuperSclogers.com for all that and then and Punch Up Live for all that and then we're working on Kevin Hart and Keenan Thompson's sports show. So we might be on that and do that too so all right let's do Well I can't hear you I can't hear your mic Oh wait it's right here See that port right down there

and then it's under your other leg yeah no no it's these two things plug them in plug that let them know does that work oh god oh god there we go can I entice a little bit more to buy tickets for your show yeah special guest

I will not be opening for any of those shows oh no that joke sucks you know why because it would be awesome if you were there yeah it actually would be better if you were there alright the timing was off here's the story I don't know who this is sent in from That's how great I am. Man arrested after allegedly chugging Tabasco sauce, challenging others to a fight.

That's right. That's awesome. Which is more offensive. Wait, what's the order of events? Chug Tabasco sauce, and then challenge people for a fight. I mean, I figured he would challenge, be like, this is how badass I am. You want to get nuts, let's get nuts. And someone's like, it's not so bad.

And then chug it. Who cares? But does he fight or just gets arrested? Let's get into it. Sparks Nevada. A man has been arrested in there. Of course, Sparks in there. Have two friends that live there.

Is it with an X? S-S-P-S-P-E-S. Kind of a cool little neighborhood. Has been arrested after police said he was seen. He was seen chugging a bottle of Tabasco sauce and challenging random people to fight him in the parking lot of Schills. Yeah. S-C-H-E-E-L-S. Do we know what that is?

Shoe Store? I think one half of a mime dance thing. Shields and Yarnel. If I find out by the time we close, I'll tell you. Sports, I think shoe store might be the, get in the game with shields. On Monday. sirs with the Sparks Police Department responded to that area after a man was seen

shirtless, well, of course he's going to be shirtless. He's not going to have shirt. Because he had tobacco all over his shirt. Tabasco, yeah, okay. Tabasco, while allegedly challenging those around him. Sporting good store. Thank you. If you're... 4.6 out of five stars. As soon as the guy takes his

shirt off and starts chugging Tabasco, that's your cue to leave. Right. I don't think there should be people around. I'm watching. I'm not, I will not get involved. One time Randy and I watched a guy get suplexed onto a sidewalk outside of the Dan walked. Dan walks towards it. I want to make sure it was a fair fight. Suplex, that's cool. Suplex on to a sidewalk. Outside the

Gelsons across from the Trader Joe's, the vortex of grocery store hell in Silver Lake. Oh, God. I walked towards to make sure it was a fair fight. This, I would not get involved. I wouldn't even want to be noticed, but I would watch the whole thing. Pulls out the popcorn. Security guard asked the man to leave, to which is suspect, I'm not going to tell you how old he is. We'll guess at the end. Michael Smith responded with what the Sparks Police Department called, quote, choice words. He had some choice words.

Pulled out a knife and challenged the card. Police arrived and found Smith, who was still shirtless, carrying the knife around in a sheath at shields. You don't carry a sheath around at shields. It's sheathed at shields. Sheathed at shields. No one was injured in the incident, thank God. Minimum six inches on a blade if it's sheathed, right?

Sheathed at shields is dumb people town's version of sleepless in Seattle. That's great. that's where he met his wife drink the Tabasco's sheet there's so many titles in this episode so many Jason had one during the last time I did it's a beach ball

Smith was arrested on charges of assault with deadly weapon in possession of a drug paraphernalia the bottle of hot sauce was disposed of in case you were one thank God oh man how old I'm gonna ask you before this

Michael Smith so he brought Tabasco to a shield's fight he did he brought a Tabasco to a shield's fight and a sheath knife to a sheath he brought a tobacco Let's go at a sheet knife to shields. He's ready to park.

How old is he? 37. That is a damn good guess. That is the age. It's old enough to take your shirt off and be cool with it. Young enough to think you can still fight, but old enough to have really been mad at life. This feels like a guy who thinks there aren't any tough guys around anymore. I'm going to go 66.

I'll go 41, and I hope he's not in his 20s. 41. Get your answers in. Go see Carmen when he comes to the... Carmen, yes, Carmen on Instagram. Carmen, yes, Carmen on an Instagram, his new special. Live from the Windy City. Live from the Windy City.

Check it out. It's a throwback. It's amazing. Listen to Dan's podcast. Watch them on the bear. Watch them on the English teacher. You should also join this Patreon because when I find out if they catch the bowl, that's where the update's going to be. We also just a lot of times are hanging out, talking about life.

So if you want more of this hang, that's what the page runs for. It's only five bucks a month. Michael Smith, Tabasco, shirt off, sheath, knife, and the shields. Carolina Panther, 48 years old. Oh. I had the 40s. There you go. I have 66.

All right. There you go. That's the show, everybody. We love you. And, oh, snap, we got to get back to work. Peace. Bye. Nice.