Dumb People Town - Christopher Titus - Nasty Claus

Episode Date: July 7, 2026

Comedian Christopher Titus (Tour and 10 Specials) stops by as Daniel describes how a woman rode naked on a motorbike, got fingered, and punched a blind man, Randy explains how a man was arrested for performing penis enlargement surgeries in the back of a Corolla, and Jason warns against quitting your job to breastfeed your boyfriend full time, and so much more!Thanks to our sponsors: BetterHelp and Monarch!Don’t let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/DPT. Use code: DPT at Monarch.com to get your first year of Monarch Core half off at just $50.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Today we have an incredible guest. Christopher Titus joins us on the show. We got a naked woman on a motorcycle who's going. crazy. That's the least of what she does. A guy who's doing backseat penis enlargements, among other things. He's a backseat doctor. Thank you. And then we got a woman who's breastfeeding in a way, the wrong person. This is an incredible episode. We go deep, stories, jokes, you're going to love it. It's dumb people down this week. Don't miss it. Dan and ran and Jay will share tales of coke so unaware they lack in grace and sometimes

choose the life they choose will make the news. Breaking down each epic failed in Florida. There's half-rice bail. I'm happy to say they couldn't make this love. So listen to our podcast band with co-host our man Dan. Man, dirt, don't be a jerk. Because when the music, which the funny hits and we are going to take you down. Stick around. Make a sound.

Come here down. It's Dump People Town. Hey, Tadies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population. Population Titus. Christopher Titus. All right. Welcome to town.

Thanks for having me in, guys. I appreciate it. I'm excited. I get that little improv fear. Oh, no. No. No. Dude, you're so fun to rip with.

Oh, no. I worked on 45 minutes of my material that I know back on you before that I want to see you and let's go. Go, go. You know, swing a light bulb over his head. Oh, wow. Yeah, because that's how old I'm going back. We're going way back. So we got to see you at the Ice House recently and so fun and just obviously.

Two things. One, we're sitting in the bar and we could hear. like just roars. Enormous roars of laugh. We're talking to your wife. And like, hear enormous roars of laughter, which I'm like,

that is so great to be getting from your headlining set of comedy, your latest show. And so annoying is another comic. You're in there. You're two rooms away going, what is this guy? What is going on in there? He's probably got a guitar.

That's what he's got. I went in. No guitar. No guitar. No guitar. It's just good material. Thank you. And total connection with the crowd.

Such a fun show. Very, very cool. And then you very kindly let us hang out with you after. You guys were awesome, man. You go nice to our little pup, man. Who we lost. 16 years, though.

I'm grateful we had 16. Great run. Great run. I told you, and I text you, Al-timer. He's an all-timer. You guys, yeah. He's an all-timer.

He's a very nice. And I was off talking about there. There was people in our life that were like, oh, yeah, I was all, sorry. And you guys were like, you guys did more than some of our good friends. Right. Well, hey, we're friends now. We are now. Yeah.

No, yeah. No, my wife's like, they're coming to the house. Like, you have to come into the house. No, no, no. You have to stay the weekend at the house. I'll stay the weekend at the house. Oh shit, we'll come. They need to sleep in our bed.

I know. Here's the deal. You're in our house now, which I love. This is dumb people town. Dan has a story we're going to talk about. This could not fit your point of view about the world is getting dumber and the only way to fight back is comedy. This is it. All right.

Here we go. Ready? Sent in by one of our listeners. So many great dumb people town listeners. This one was from Catherine Brian. Thank you, Catherine, Brian. Here's the headline. Woman Road Motorbike Naked.

got fingered in the street and punched a blind man. Bingo. What motorcycle is that? Who's selling those? You're a big motorcycle guy. I am. I got an Indian, which is offensive. I know.

I have the most offensive name motorcycle. She might have a more offensive motorcycle. Road a motorbike naked. When they see motorway, I feel like moped. Is this a jelly roll song? Got fingered in the street. They have motorbike. And punched a blind guy.

Did Mitch McConnell write this? I don't even know. I'm a motorbike. They got a motorbike. A woman has been jailed and banned from entering Woking, which I think is a neighborhood or town in the UK, after she punched a blind man and was caught in the middle of a sex act in the street. That's a busy day. Also, kudos to the blind man who just heard the sex act and was like, I got to break this off.

By the way, I've been horny before, but never, never that. Wait, I'll be right there. Let me get on my bike. I'll be right there. I'll meet you at the intersection. I'll meet you in the street. Can we do this in the house? No.

Don't even pull over. You just run alongside the bike and do it. Do you have a minute? No. We have no time. Jesus. My clitoris is engorched. We have to do it now.

I will see you in these streets. I love her name. Natasha Claus. She is literally a freak in the streets. Yeah. Natasha Claus. It's the Clauses, a daughter who just kind of spun out. I mean, I'm going to screw you, dad.

I'm getting a motorcycle. I'm doing it naked. And by the way, this is, and you just know that like Santa Claus is, Mrs. Claude are like, look. He just wanted to raise. I think we let her spend too much time with the elves. This is just a weird thing. And the heat miser's like, hey, Natasha, how are things with her?

And they're like, you know, it's been really. Natasha's her own person. Natasha's her own person, you know. And you can't dictate the way of flower and girls. We were thinking of sending her to the island of Miss Fitzvite toys for a. Why is she sitting on the North Pole? There's a rehab on the island of Missing Toy. Natasha Claus was described as a, quote, a mess by a judge.

after she turned up to court how many hours late? So that's why she's about She was tardy? Guys, it's English. I'm sorry. I don't believe it. Not only did you ride a bike naked and get fingered.

She was tardy by quite a bit. Would have been. She punched a blind man. She would have been here on time. Hours late? Four hours late. You nailed it. It was four hours late

to be handed her prison sentence. The judge revealed that she had also been caught riding through the Surrey Town naked on a motorbike but added that she was not being sentence for that particular incident. So they're like, we're not even lumping. That's going to be its own thing. Do you know how like she probably brought that up too?

It's like, you know when someone gets busted or something and they bring up other stuff that they've done that like if you just would keep your mouth shut up. Shut up. Shut up about it. You shouldn't be driving naked on a motorbike. Guilty. Go ahead. Gidea charge.

What is like? We're going to let the lady Godiva charge go. Yes. Yeah. We'll revisit. We'll punt that. We're going to let this slide the way you did up and down your seat. But.

Come on. She pleaded guilty to outraging public decency after she was caught in the middle of the sex act that Judge Peter Ross said was No Doubt for Money. Easy! What an insult! How about she just enjoyed herself? Yeah, love of the game.

Maybe somebody just liked her a lot. By the way, no doubt for money. So this woman has done some crazy stuff and punching a blind man, not acceptable in any way, shape, or form. This is blind justice. But such a weird kink, though. Like a motorcycle fingered

and I got a punch a blind guy. Who's got a disability and how close are they? I can't have an orgasm. I can't have an orgasm unless I hit somebody who's a hit. But this also feels like she's in some sort of like diehard three challenge where the terrorist is making her do crazy shit to save the city. Punch the glass. It's the weirdest episode of English Fear Factor. Yeah.

Yes. Taskmaster's got crazy in the UK. She's afraid of motorcycles. She's afraid of blind men. Yeah. She's afraid of anyone touching her. She's getting all. So the judge is like, yeah, you were in that.

I'm sex, I'm sure that was for money. I'd be like, easy. Which, by the way, again, this is just an off-color joke that this guy made, but you know that, like, everyone on her team was like, hey, you can't say that. What are we doing to this one? So my mother was manic, depressive, schizophrenic, and we caught her, she disappeared, dropped my sister off of my uncle's once.

It dropped my sister off shoe who was eight at the time, disappeared for two weeks. Two weeks! They caught her naked in San Francisco in a doorway. Whoa. And there was no money exchanged. That's all I'm saying. Maybe crazy. Crazy.

They're looking at the bottom line. They're looking at the net and the gross proceeds. They're actually just going, I'm just crazy. You can't apply our logic to somebody who's just gone off. I like that the judge was like, the only way this could happen is for my pay my people who ride motorcycles naked. Your mom was on the back album cover of a Grateful Dead album. She did make the final. Prosecutor John Upton says she was spotted in Goldsworth Road Woking after being, not even after, being fingered by a man on July.

29. I love that that's in the newspaper. That's like... A mother with her two children asked her to stop and clause, Natasha, responded by threatening to punch the mother. So the mom's got two kids going to like, can you not... How about you don't do that? And then she's like, I'm going to punch you and probably your kids. Why couldn't she just said, can I finish? Exactly. Who knows how long that's going to be? But also like... In English, that's really rude, though. You're introducing... Yes. You're interrupting a fingering. Can I finish? Yes. Yes. When she was arrested at the scene, police said her jeans were pulled up, but her knickers were in her handbag.

Who cares? It doesn't matter. Who's going on? Her jeans were pulled up. Is that the best, like, prosecutions, like, of evidence? Oh, we got it. The knickers were in the handbag. So clearly, she's all the head.

Also, to me, sounds like a corporate saying. Like, guys, let's not put the knickers in the handbag on this one. That's when you made a decision and you've tried to go back, but you can't go back the same way you were. The knickers are in the, the knickers. Well, everybody stopped. Literally, where we're past this? K-N-I-C-E-R-S for anybody who has bad speakers. No, did they bring in the fingerer as a witness?

Did they test them? And did he have to finger her again and be like, that's her? He figured her twice. Or did he just bring his finger in to prove it? And also they like, shame him. They were like, preserve the finger. Like what? Exhibit aid.

And they're like, the judge is like, and obviously it was for money, right? And he's like, uh, yeah. Yeah, no, I definitely didn't like her. Wow. So then she's arrested. She pulls up her underwoods in her handbag. Mr. But what a selfless man.

You see a naked woman on a motorcycle, and your first thought is, let me pleasure her. I can tame her. I need to help. I need to help this. I can ride this Bronco. Let me, you see a naked. Look at our meat cute. We'll never forget this.

They're for the grace of God. If I'm this guy's lawyer, okay, if I'm representing this guy, I'm like, this man sees a woman naked on a motorbike and says his first thought is, how can I help her? Exactly. She's on a vibrating machine. She's obviously somewhere. She's halfway to... Exactly.

She's on her way. I'll forget there. Mr. Upton told Gullford... I don't know. Crown Court that she was in the habit of befriending vulnerable men and then taking advantage of them. Oh, no. This is...

Trouble flared when one of those men was threatened with being kicked out of his flat by the local council because... because of her anti-social behavior. So she moves in with a guy and they're going to kick her out because of the way she acts. She's like, want to see how I act? They argued.

Is this antisocial? Naked on a motorcycle, that's, you're going somewhere. You're social. That is his social as can be. You're entering the world. This poor guy. So the person who's fighting with her

about kicking her out is the blind guy. So they argue, and that's when Natasha attacked him, because he was registered blind, isn't blind enough. He couldn't tell if it was her palm or her fist. I would go.

palm then because I feel like you could tell. You would know if you got a knuckle sandwich. Knuckles coming to your head is different than an opening. They make different noise. That's right. Maybe you guys can help me decipher this. When being arrested for the attack,

she assaulted two police officers calling one of them a, and we don't know what it is so I can't say it. I couldn't even figure it out. P. blank blank I. C.

Blank T. What's the first word? I know the second word. P.A. P, A, in England, it's a big thing. Okay. And then the second word is, obviously,

you thank you very much. Okay. Sure. Okay. Defense barrister Timothy, Leet, three E's. I love that. I know racism.

Thank you for being our... I literally was a Nazi-looking guy ever. It's literally a racist insider. I believe we found our episode title. Yeah, exactly. We got it. Just that, right. Dash, dash, dash.

How do you say that in Sri Lanka? Welcome to racist wheel of fortune. Do racism him around the world with Christopher Titus. Defense barrister Timothy Leet said that she was addicted to inhaling butane gas. I mean, there we go. Leading Judge Moss to tell her, so the judge

tells her, quote, your life is a mess. He's just throwing out a lot of his personal feeling. And you did it for money. The judge added, any assault on a vulnerable person is very serious. Indeed, as is any attack on the police officers who have a moral obligation, who we have a moral obligation to protect.

Correct. The judge also made reference to a further incident. saying, I had the impression there were some reference to her riding her on on a motorbike with no clothes on, but that has nothing to do with the charges today. He told her, you are a mess. Your life is a mess. I spoke to your son earlier, and it's a testament to something in your son's life that he's never been to court and finds this whole situation awful. So you managed to raise a good kid? This is like the end of a hell's kitchen episode.

No, this is my life. I was in bars since I was four years old. And you never. And you ended up okay. Oh, dear. Your voice went up so high. You did. You didn't.

I did something. Yes, you did. I've made a criminal behavior order against you, restricting your movements and behavior. I don't think that's going to work out. Yeah, no. She was jailed for three months for the assault on the blind man. Two months for each attack on the police officer.

Two months for being racist to one of the police officers. One month for outraging public decency and another month for abusing the woman who asked her to stop. that sex act. Okay. Turns out her motorcycle wasn't registered. Hey, now,

that's the real crime. Had a tail light missing? She was also jailed for four months for breaching a suspended jail sentence. We will get out of here on this. How old is Natasha Claus?

She's got a son who's crazy. I'm going to go. Natasty Claus. Yeah, I feel like you're going to nail this. I'm going to have finger in her last name's clause. I'm going to say, I'm going to go high.

Yeah. Probably going to lose. I'm going to go 52. 52. I was thinking, 46 came right into my brain. Because this behavior has to have a have a fuck it thing to it. Yeah. Like I'm on my way out of this life.

It ain't gonna work out for me. Exactly. It definitely has that. And that is her voice. Oh, I've lived in London my whole life. All right. Why do you sound like Stone Cold Steve Austin? That's right, Vince.

He sounds like this from Montana in England. That's great. You may have seen me on the wonderful whites of West Virginia. I had a reoccurring role in that documentary. I'm going to say she's 39. 39? She's like a young mom. We got out of story one here.

And we come back, I will tell you what I'm out to. Randy will take the wheel. We'll take the wheel. But I'll close it up by telling all of you that Natasha Claus is 36 years. Oh, wow. Young and mad. 39 you had right there. That's a very, very young and crazy.

Young age, it is. It is. Fucking let it off. All right. The great Christopher Titus is with us. We'll find out what Dan has going on. Find out what he has going on.

So you can support him. It's Dumb People Town. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make us down. Hunger Town. It's Dump People Town. Hey, Tony's Daniel Van Kirk here.

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Stick around. Make a sound. Hunger Down is Dump People Town. Hey, gang, welcome back to the show. Before we get into Titus and all the great stuff that he's got going, we got to go see this next hour, but Daniel, tell him what you have going on. Yeah, come on. See, my new hour. I just unlocked a whole big chunk of it. So fat. At one point, I ended up lying down on the ground. And it all makes sense. And it was very fun. Yeah, I know. I'm like, well, the actouts taking me here. This is what happens when you're right on stage.

Daniel Van Kirk.com for all of my dates. If this comes out in enough time, I'm headlining my own show for Netflix is a joke. That's on May 6th, 10 o'clock at a hotel cafe. Then going forward throughout the summer, I'm going to be in Janesville, Wisconsin, Green Lake, Wisconsin, Cincinnati, Austin, Texas. I'll be in Baltimore, D.C., Cohasset, Mass. Everything is at Daniel VanCurck.com. New dates are being added all of the time. My own week of shows in Chicago that I do, this will be the third year in real. Hub City Comedy Week is the 15th through the 18th at the Lincoln Lodge in Chicago.

Go to Danielvancurk.com. Check out what I'm up to, and I hope to see you there. I love it. Titus, where can people see? I don't know, I like, he just read the back of a question. Well, we do this all the time. We do it for all the show, so it's in our brains. So you have a new special that you're,

I'm doomed to repeat. I'm doomed to repeat. It's, yes, it's actually, it's getting standing OV now, which is great. That's which I saw. It's fabulous. It is quite good. I like it. It's, uh, I saw Springs in the week before.

I'll be in Albany, Syracuse, Hartford, and another town. And you're doing, and you're doing theaters in these towns. No, I'm doing, I'm doing just one nights. I'm doing one nights. I'm doing theaters in the second half of the year because it's ready now. It takes a minute. Yeah. Yeah.

I love, my son started doing stand up. I love that you, I love that thing. that you just said when a new piece drops and it works. The best drug in the world. It's the heroin again. You get that first show heroin, you know? When you know you have something and then you're like, all right, over the course in the next however many shows, we're going to figure this thing out.

And it's going to grow and we're going to get to the root of what this thing's about. And then we're going to, the bit will be funny and then we're going to say something. In my mind, it's like when you have a whole bunch of clothes hanging up, like in a closet. And so you've got bit, bit, bit, bit. And then you find a thing and you go, I'm going to move these. And this is going to go in there. Oh, feel so good. Yeah.

What you just said too is like there's a bit I did called, I'm Whiting and I apologize early on. And it was one of those bits that I knew it had this kernel of something great and it tanked for three months and I just would, I'm going to beat the audience of death was until I figure out how it figured out. And you figured out. It's funny on either side of it, but this one bit would just be like, they would just stop. So I had to figure it up.

And then when it drops, you're like, oh, it's the best. So good. That's the world. And my son's getting it now. Nice. So where can people find just your all of your days? Go to Christopher Titus.com. Also my podcast,

um, on the Armageddon update, uh, Christopher Titus TV on YouTube. My new special carrying monsters is out on 800 pound gorilla and we just, and Christopher Tice TV and, um, carrying monsters out.

And we just hit three quarters of a million views, which is phenomenal. Nice, dude. And to you people that wrote reviews, thank you so much, man. It helps. It helps. You know,

dude, that stuff helps. It helps in the algorithm and gets up to people. They're nice. They're like nice. Yeah. Because people love what you're doing because you've come from a truthful place. And the same thing we say this about you, when we watch you do your sets, like you care about the writing, you care about the performance, you care about all of it, which is why you really pour your effort and time into it.

And then when people, when fans jump on board, they're like, they appreciate all of it. We saw it. We saw it firsthand. I have no other skills. Thank God you can do this. Other guys are like, you know what, man, I can go my engineering job. I can get an engineering job. No, no, no, no, no. No, we can't.

Can't do that. All right, let's jump in. I'm just the same. Exactly. Right? This is all we can do. This is all I want to do. All right.

Next story is sent in by Sean Anderson at Sean 70. S-H-A-W-N-E. Thank you. Dodgy Doc. So you know this is British now, too. Arrested for performing illegal penis enlargement operations from his 1990s Toyota Corolla. No.

Get out of here. If you are going into a 1990s, Toyota Corolla to get a penis enlargement, you're at the end of your own. Nothing medical should be done by Dome Light. You're out of options at that point. Or maybe he was just really, really, really. just a giver. And he's like, you know,

why don't get a new car? Because I just don't want to charge. I have so many appointments. I have my overhead load so that I can take care of my face. The guy who's made the appointment, is it a Camry? No.

It's a Corolla. I'll be there on Tuesday. An Acura. Can't afford it. Can't do it. He claimed to have learned his quote side hustle by a social media post. All right.

A penis enlargement is a side hustle. Like, what's your side hustle? This isn't my real job. Let me just tell you that. It's my side thing. My other job. All right. So shady surgeon, Pitae Moolin, also known as Changi Modify.

Okay. That's a gamer tag? Offered bizarre on the go. Did you say that's a gamer tag? Yeah. Bizarre on the go genital enhancements to Thai men. This is what he's doing. What was this procedure?

What exactly? I know we have pictures. When did he realize he could do this? There he is. Look at him. There is. So it's Thai. It's Thailand.

It's Thailand. lady boys and then these are the big boys he's just all the people getting in like I hate that the car looks nicer than I thought of right there's a waiting room vibe to it really like I want to sit in the front seats I'll be with you in a minute

sitting there still makes you wait I'm like I can see you asshole no no no you just go through that highlights magazine for by the way just eating a sandwich right no doctor's ever coming on time how many issues of premiere do you have in this car Westways I haven't seen this in a while

His bumbling antics unfolded inside a beaten-up antique of a car with customers eventually reporting his dubious services to police. You know what? If you have the balls, and I guess they're bigger now, to report this to the police. They look small. Yeah, they look small. To report this to the police.

You're implicating yourself and wanting the operation. But also, when do you decide it's dubious when you look it up and show up to the Toyota Camry or whatever? Or when they screw it up? You know, no, no. You're in the backseat of a car. For surgery. For surgery. But I think he probably

This seems dubious. It's like when people I don't want to be act weird But I am starting to feel like this might not be No, you guys are wrong I didn't see him wash in here. It's all the chain of marketing It's like when you meet somebody in a bar

And you go hey this you seem really great I just need you right now I'm not looking for anything serious right Right you weed yourself out His thing is out the gate He goes first thing I need to tell you This is going to happen in a car And not even like a mobile ambulance

So I don't even have a sprint or We're talking low to the ground. It's not a blood drive man. This is just going to be. Look, if you want to end the conversation here, fine. If you want to hear more, it's because you've accepted we're doing this in a sedan. Right. After that, after that, they're in.

They're all the way in. By the way, at one point, I would go, this seems dubious. That's right. The next two words I'm going to read to you, feel like they're. No, no. I don't have a problem. I'm doing it a car. So if there's a car problem, it's your problem.

You know, you go to pay him, you're like, do you take Venmo? He's like cash in and you're like, wait a second. Hold on one second. So you don't have insurance. There's no work in comp or some medical. Now you made it weird. Mount practice. I was fine with the rest of this.

What's my co-pay? Bangkok cops. Are there cops in Bangkok? That's my question. No. Launched a probe into the doctor's dark arts. They found the unlicensed suspect was promoting peanuts in laundromance. circumcision and pearl implantation surgeries through social media, the best way to get all this thing done.

Craig's List. Thank you. On his takes out, not even on Craigslist. Like on Craigslist, at least you're like, look, I know I'm going to get this and a handjob. So, like you get a couch and a hand job, futon on a hand job. What do we want to combine Angie's list with, I wanted to combine Angie's list with, with, what's the other, Angie's list with the Ann Amber Alert. All right. So I need someone, a plumber who we found the plumber who took that kid.

Okay. On his TikTok account, he claimed that he was able to, quote, deliver his services for convenience on the run. But he made no mention the fact that the patients would be going under the knife while stuck in the back of a vehicle. Authorities detained the bogus practitioner on October 18th while he was in the middle of a baffling perling procedure. I don't even know what that means purling.

His last operation was taking place. I think it's a way to give some texture to your shaft. I got it. Operating. I had to guess. He had a guess. His girl, pearly. I'm 100% am guessing.

Oh, wait, I'm going to look this up. Because I've seen sex toys that seem to have a pearl aspect to them that, like, or not. Annel beads? I don't know. I have never been less angry about American health care in my life. Right? You're feeling good about it now.

I'm like, when you know what? They actually aren't that bad. All right. So his last. These are the pearls. These are the pearls. And what do they put him in your? Inside.

Yeah. His last. Under the skin. Under the skin. Yeah, to give you some more text. Rib for her pleasure. So you've dazzle. You bedazzle your penis or something?

That's essentially it. Like a boba. It's like boba. Say Kaiser Accidental. Rolling foam. Caser accidenti. After being caught red-handed by the cops seized 189 different kind of pearls, local anesthesia, anesthetics, surgical blades. I mean, does he ask.

Does he ask himself for the scalpel? All right, here it is. But it sounds like he was using clean ones, though. Right. He wasn't just, it wasn't. It's really dubious. I love that you said that. the next line says all tools were allegedly used in unsanitary conditions.

But Tyre reportedly admitted he had no medical training. He had no medical training. Only learned the procedures from watching videos on social media. Not even on YouTube, on social media. And the only with the doctors who did it in the back of a car. Right. The deceptive doc did not. I will admit, though, social media did teach me how to make a little stand for my chopstead.

Social media taught him how to tie a bow tie. So it can teach you how to enlarge a penis. All right. To tie tubes. Deceptively, Doc, didn't even have any. any sterilizing equipment to prevent infection. He said, I became interested in this kind of work. So I studied and developed a side hustle for this.

This is not a side hustle. By the way, them being in those bags as evidence is now cleaner than they've ever been. They were just laying on the floor. I did think that for example. I thought, wow, he kind of kept everything clean. No, that's evidence. That's Evidence. That's Exhibit A through Z.

There's all of clanking around in that car. No, he's like under the seat pulling out like the scissors. What a bummer when your knife falls. between the seats. Right? Oh, a gummy bear I hadn't had in a while. And now here's this guy.

Yeah, he had something version of your grandpa's toolbox. You don't know what's where. A tackle box it opens. A brazen clinician reportedly charged how much in pounds, British pounds, for a pearl implant? What do you think he charged? I wouldn't even know 100?

100 pounds? What do you think? 500 pounds? No, I'd say 50 pounds. I think that's a good guest. It's transiting 23 pounds for a parole implants. Well done. For circumcisions.

He's going to circumcise kids. And that's a little sniff, snap. How much for a circumsum. That feels like it should be more, but I bet he charges less. Right. I'm going to go 20 pounds. What do you think? That's the selling point.

Now I'm like into it being low. 10 pounds. 30. 114 pounds. Oh, wow. Yeah, he took it seriously. And the coveted penis enlargement injections, what do you think that is? Now that's up.

That's up. Coveted. The coveted. What do you think? Chris, what do you think? Top shelf. I say 250. That's exactly what I was going to say.

I'm glad I deferred. I'll go 300. 650. Get your answers in. 229 right here. Oh, let's go. He knows his car surgery. Exactly.

Why do you know so much about the menu? My car penis surgery game is strong. You're just going to, I told me you're just going to go to Turkey. It's a side hustle. Very weird that now you're touring Thailand. That's so weird. You're going to Fouquet and Bangkok. Comes in doom to repeat.

Leaving your wife and Fouquet. Short shorts. Hot pants. The crime is punishable by up to three years in jail and a fine of up to 687 pounds or both up to three years. I mean, he can only get a couple of years. Shocking images showed the underhanded surgeon being led away by cops as his questionable scheme was busted. Social media pictures showed that, and you know we posted this on social media too to gain more followers. We'd like to warn those involved immediately cease their activities as the police will continue to monitor and arrest these people.

Is this a problem? So at this point you'd have to have Yelp reviews, right? Right, exactly. What kind of car do you have? What kind of a car? It's very comfortable. Not happy. I'm happy with the penis enlargement, really unhappy.

being with the comfortability of the seats. I feel like there's probably quite a few men out there that are really happy with the work. Right. Some people are like, this is great. Because that's what we're not hearing. Like victims. Right.

He's a craftsman. I don't hear a lot of complaining. Five stars. Work in his way up to an office. 4.9, three stars on him. Or a van. We'll get out here on this. How old was this man who was performing these procedures?

You saw some pictures. How old? I'm going to say, I'm going to go low 28. Okay. Ooh, what do you think? I'll go 44. 39. Okay.

Get your answer. Get your answers in. When we go, Jay's got one last here. I'm gonna toss this here away. One last story. This man who was performing these surgeries in the back of his Toyota Corolla, mid-90s, or might have been early 90s Toyota Corolla,

51 years old. 51, so there you go. Wow. All right, when we come back, we'll tell you what we have going on, and Jay give us a little taste. A woman is maybe the most supportive girlfriend of all time. Great, can't wait to hear it.

We are lucky enough to have wonderful supportive people in our lives. We're gonna hear another one coming up after the break. Christopher Titus is with us. This is Dumb People Town. Don't go anywhere. It's all fun. Stick around.

Make a sound. Hunger Down. It's Dump People Town. Welcome back to the show before we jump into the story. Jay, we got a bunch of stuff going on. My guess, I don't know when is going to drop, but if it drops before, the 13th will be Mobile Alabama at the Crescent Theater. Then the next night, we are at the Raleigh Cap Brewing Company in Baton Rouge.

The next night, we're going to be at Club 337, which is my favorite sitcom with Jack A. I love Jackay in 337. And that is in Lafayette and then in Baton Rouge the next night on the 16th. No, no, Lake Charles. Excuse me, Lake Charles is the last night. It will be in library, riot. Go to punchup.com. Live for all those dates.

We're headlining in L.A. We're not going to sell as well as this guy did at the Ice House. Ice House. But hopefully we will. At the Venice West we're performing on June 16th, two shows, seven and nine. And then we'll be in San Francisco, the 19th and 20th at the Cops Comedy Club. Love that place. Love that place.

Love it. Brilliant. Love that place. Let's get people out two nights. It's a weekend in San Francisco. Tony Kameen is our feature. And Sophia Gero, who I love. We met her and she did our tag at show in St. Louis at the Flyware Fest.

She's amazing. She's going to open for us. And so we have lots of dates going to Fort Collins and Escondido and then Ann Arbor in the fall, supersclogers.com. Or follow us at punchup. Dot live. I don't know if you guys are doing that. But put your email in there so we can.

We should have been creating an email list for years and years. We've never done it. We are now as idiots going to like start. brick by brick building the email list. So join our email so we can let you know we're coming near you. Punchup.com. Live slash glarbrothers. There you go.

All right. Here we go. This is sent in by me. I found this story. Good. Here's the headline. Woman quits job to breastfeed boyfriend full time. Hang on a minute.

I know that's just love. I think we did this. Did we? I can't remember. This might be a different one, Dan. I found this. Well, we might have done it. If we didn't, I don't remember this.

I don't remember it. I definitely don't remember it. He doesn't remember it. W.T.V. But it does make me hate my mother more. Right? In some way. This girlfriend's doing it?

This might have been your mother doing it in Atlanta. Did she ever spend time in Atlanta? A woman in Atlanta says she has quit her job, quit her job in order to pump enough breast milk to feed her bodybuilding boyfriend every two hours. Wow. By the way, she did not have to quit her job. My wife breastfed and pumped in like, They didn't even have an air up on the job. She pumped on the job.

How big is this guy? He's going to be big. Bodybuilder. By the way, if you're the bodybuilder and you're getting the milk, you show up at her office and get that milk. That's a good point. It's a valid point. Or door dash.

Also, whatever you got. You have them deliver it. Task rabbit, the milk over to this guy. Also, if she can't pop me at a meeting. I got a meeting. Put this bitch on formula. Formula makes you bigger. Creatine.

According to the son, Jennifer Mulford. And I love Mulford and Sons. That is my favorite. Left her job. as a bartender. All right. She didn't want to be working at the bar. So she could produce enough milk for her boyfriend, Brad Leeson, full-time.

Mulford says, by the way, if she was a bartender, we've all hung out in bars before, you did when you were four years old. Yeah, yep. If a bartender was at the bar and you just saw the pumping, like, how much more would she sell? Like, people would just be. The amount of tips she would make at that bar. You think more or less. More.

It seems like a weird CPAP machine. Yeah. Your boob. Right. I just, I don't know. When you're done making that... What can I get you? When you're done making those two drinks, can you make my drink?

You know, I've never had one before, but now I'm having a desire for a white Russian. I was going to say, wow, you beat me to it. You beat me to it. You beat me to it. That's what I was going to say. You beat me to it. You son of a bitch. I've got the clue.

Can you add some cream on top? Okay. Melford said she was single when she found a website for adult breastfeeding relationships, ABR. This is a thing. But how did she... If you can think of it, it's already a thing. You have to be looking for that, though. Yeah, but if you can dream it, it exists.

No one stumbles across that. Do you want to hear her origin story? Okay. I have always enjoyed my breasts being touched during sex more than anything else I knew. Good for you for knowing. Good for you for knowing. She told the son. Thank you for telling you in newspaper that.

The person on the sun is like, yeah, this is like, this is the classified. This is a sports section. Wow. Are you calling us? Man, we just deal with delivery subscription. Well, I'm trying to deliver something. It's so dope. I'm just telling you, we're going to have someone in the area tomorrow.

I use dating sites, put messages on ABR forums, and even put an advert on Craigslist. But I drew a blank. What? You went out on Craigslist and said, I want a breast for you, and no one you respond? Yeah, that's word, yeah. Maybe your account wasn't active. Your internet wasn't on. I started to think I'd never get to try adult breastfeeding.

Eventually, she started talking with Lison, a former school boyfriend. So she went back in the old Rolodex. Oh, here we go. I remember this guy. There we go. I thought it was the perfect time to bring up adult breastfeeding, see if he'd be interested. I know. Malford and we'll guess her age later, gave birth to her daughter 20 years ago.

What? How can she still be producing notes? And she said she had to dry breastfeed Lison every two hours and use a breast problem to fool her body into lactating. This can't be good. Anytime you're like, I fooled my body into lactating, like there's no good that comes on the other side of that. I tricked the old body's biological clock into.

I've taken a break from my job because I wanted to devote everything to making this work. Is this her or just building? This is bullshit. The women I have known. When you touched her nipples just for 30 seconds, like it's getting sore. This is I basically worked like it was a factory. Like it was the Amazon warehouse today? She's filling orders.

What the mom? Wait, so we're all married and Dan, you've been in long-term relationships. We all know that the longer you're married, it's all about who has the capital in that moment. So like, you'll do a bad thing so you can store up some capital so you can go do the thing that you really want. So you're asking what does she want? What is she wanting in return for building up all this relationship capital? I don't know. She's like literally pumping it and putting it into bottles.

Mulford said she believes adult breastfeeding will create a magical bond between them. And Lison, meanwhile, hopes nursing will give his body health benefits. So it sounds like she convinced him to get up for it. Lison sounds like he'd just combine Liam Neson. I thought that too. She has a specific set of skills. The part I would argue is this guy's a bodybuilder? Yeah, that's what I thought as well.

He's not that big. I mean, Titus is bigger than him. I don't have many muscles. I have very few skills. My name is Leaveson. I have a good desire. Like two minutes later, he's like, get off my lap. That hurts.

However, critics on social- He looks like every dude who yelled he went that way. Yeah. Lied to you because he went the other way. To be fair, this guy hasn't been sick in a year and a half. I'm listening. However, critics on social media have criticized the pair for sexualizing breastfeeding. Why are you protecting breastfeeding?

It's idiots like these two that are making it difficult for breastfeeding mothers to do so publicly without shame and ridic. They're not creating an issue. They're not doing it publicly. They're not doing it publicly. No, no, thank you. They are only increasing the sexualization of breastfeeding. There are no medical benefits for adults to consume breast milk.

Breast milk is for babies. One woman wrote on Facebook. One woman wrote on Facebook. You don't know. There's a story you guys are talking about because we did it in our podcast suit. There was a guy that was literally selling breast milk. We had a stable of girls. Sure.

That was actually selling breast milk. Two bodybuilders out on Venice Beach. What? Really? Yeah. I wonder what of the positive helps you like regenerate? It like helps you repair. What's the colostrum?

Colostrum is the first that when it first comes in. It's very thick. It's very, it's like almost like cream. Maybe that's what they're trying to get back to that original thing. All right. We're going to get out of here on this. But again, I always go, this is the old hacky thing about like, who's the first guy to go, man, I'm really not getting the pump that I think I deserve. Right.

Let's get, let's make her pump. And it's like, meanwhile, this baby, this baby is putting on pounds and muscle every day. This kid, this infant is shredded. This kid's grown. I want to be in the 90th. Pump it up. I'm going to stop pumping so she can start pumping. All right.

How old? We got out here on this. How old is this woman, Jennifer Mulford? Titus, you are a guest. I looked at her. I'm going to say 27. You can put her back on the screen. I'm going to go 30.

Don't forget she has a 20-year-old kid. Don't forget. Oh, it does? Yeah, didn't they say she had a 20-year-birth? She gave birth 20 years off. I got a 30-Rack. 38? Yeah.

That's it. Yeah. I'll go 41. I'll go 43. Okay, one of you is two years off. 45. It can't be me, but I'll still do. I'll go 43.

Go up or down. I'll go 39. Two years. I go 39. What did I say? 38, 38. 36. All right, get your answers in.

I realized it could be me. Go to Christopher Titus. TV.TV, right? Watch his stuff. Thank you. Go see him live. I'm telling you, you will thank us so much. You're welcome in advance.

You're welcome in advance for that. And there's 10 specials on the site, 1090s. Go see them all. I mean, go to the site and catch up on it. You'll thank us. We're so grateful. Oh, come on. You guys, I didn't have to do here.

It's beautiful. Some of it feels false. It's not good at compliments. No, it's not you guys. It's my life. I'm going to give you one more compliment. She was 36 years. That's a walkoff home run.

Walk off home run. Christopher Titus. Love them. Love you guys. Thank you for supporting us. Thanks for listening to this show. Thanks for watching it. Subscribe to the YouTube page as we do this.

And, oh, snap, we've got to get back to work. We'll see you. One last thing. For you go. For you. Thank you, guys. I don't do podcasts. I always say, I don't do that.

And you guys asked. We brought you out of it. Thank you so much. I'm so happy. What a good. Hang with microphones. Thank you. Thank you.