Dumb People Town - Cory Peter Lane - Sex Happens

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

Comedian and podcaster Cory Peter Lane (Business Casual, Stamptown) stops by as Daniel describes how a bouncy castle baron fire bombed his rivals, Randy explains how a couple was caught having sex in a jail lobby, and Jason warns against calling mall security and crying because a customer wants their watch fixed, and so much more!

Guys, on an amazing dumb people town today, we've got a bouncy house vendetta. We got sex and a laundromat. Who's leaving a load where? And we got a watchbreaker, not a watchmaker. And it's all with the amazing Corey Peter Lane from Business Casual and Stampedown. You got to check it out. Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware they lack and grace and sometimes choose the life they choose will make the news. Breaking down each epic.

They failed in Florida. There's half-price bale. I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast band with co-host our man Dan. Man, don't be a jerk. Because when the music, there's the funny hits and we are going to take you down. Stick around. Make a sound.

Hunger Down. It's Dump People Town. Hey, Tadies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population. Population Lane. Corey Lane and him and hover in a photograph. CPL. That's C.

C. My grandpa used to call me corporal. Really? Corey Peter Lane. Corey Peter Lane. So good to have you. You have a wonderful podcast on this network, which we'll talk about in the next break,

or in the next segment. But we got dumb. The world is dumb. It's happening, Corey. I don't know if you've known it, but the world is getting dumber in many ways. I like everything that's happening. Okay.

People are digging in. End of episode, guys. Good night so much, shirt. No. He approves. We got great stories sent to us by our fans. They send it to us.

I mean, you're talking about dumb, dude. This first story. I got a dumb one in this show. The headline alone is a mad lib. Great. It's sent in by Toad King at the Toad King. I am the Toad King. Oh, nice.

All right. Connie Crows. Bouncy Castle Barron. No. Fire bombs rivals. That's a madly So there's a bouncy house Bouncy Castle war going on right now

So that we don't know about There are people who sell bouncy houses I'm assuming and there are two companies That hate each other Yeah Or multiple companies that hate each other I feel this has already been optioned by FX This is like so

Yeah I am the Bouncy Castle Baron I did when I was reading it sounds like Paulette Tompkins is the Bouncy Castle Baron I'm already in But it's directed by, like, the Safdi brothers. It's like a really dark turn for PFT. All of Tompkins is my mias.

I was the bouncy. He has my... I was his yes. I was Josh Safdi's meas. A burning obsession. Oh, boy. Well, it's fire bombs. Fire bombs.

For success, led a bouncy Castle Baron to orchestrate a shocking firebombing campaign to destroy his rivals. A campaign? Is it that competitive out there? So, definitely more... How little confidence do you have in your own product? Corey is a campaign more than two. I would say that a campaign is continuous. Right.

I feel like it has to be like ongoing. Yeah. No, it would be a couple of. Thank you. Castle, fire. This story also feels like a very like specific Cohen Brothers movie. Yes. Yeah.

100%. Oh, wait. You don't even know. 100%. In seconds, the competitors of James Balcombe had their livelihoods reduced to Ash. Terrible. The fiery owner

orchestrated arson attacks on rival party hire and bouncy castle businesses between December 2016 and March 2017. The tag is dead.

The bouncy brothers dead. Take him to the bounce houses. The castle boys dead. Also, bouncy ounces, just go buy a knife. Yeah, right. You don't need fire.

It doesn't need to be... I mean, do those things burn? Are they burning them when they're blown up? I would imagine it's indicated by the story. They're not kept blown up. They burn up. They burn super fast.

If there's air in them super fast, but they're probably the most flammable thing ever. Yeah, I'm imagining like, if anyone like flicks a cigarette, it's like, how is this birthday party? Oh, no, that's fun. I haven't spent a lot of time in a bouncy castle because I've been 300 pounds for the last 20 years. And I would love to smoke a cigarette while jumping in a bouncy ball. No, you wouldn't. Yeah, I think I would. I think that I'd love it for a little while.

I think that then it would become bad. If Corey comes up to the bouncy castle, like all the parents are like, kids, let's get it. Guys, it's Corey time. Wait, let him do it. Just let him get. I think that I need to do that. Just like adult swim. He's like a big Irish setter.

Let him go. Let him get tired after 15 minutes. All I can think about when I think about getting in a bouncy house is my ankles. Yeah. That's all I can think about. I'm like my back. Because, you know, a lot of times they're like ribbed, like the inside. So you're just constantly landing on uneven surfaces.

Right. Yeah, I remember, I mean, when our kids were young enough. I just remember, I bounced in a bunch of them. And then there are definitely moments where you come out and you're like, that was not good for my bad. Yeah, that was, that was just wrong. I bounced around in one, one time I there was a birthday party and it started raining. And then the bouncy castle got filled with rain.

And it was maybe one of the best days of all that's a good time. Just sliding around. I love that you kind of have that attitude of like it doesn't matter. Let's just get one. Bouncy house at Burning Man? Oh, I'm sure. I just didn't know if you ever experienced. A key bouncy house at Burning Man.

Lots of juice. It all is. Isn't that what the Orgy Dome is, basically? James Belcombe pleaded guilty to 11 counts of conspiracy to commit arson and appeared at a pre-sentence hearing at Victoria's County Court on Wednesday. This is in Australia. Isn't Balcombe the ones who brought steroids into baseball? Yes. Belcombe enlisted three men.

This is where it starts to get colony. Belcombe enlisted three men, including a former employee. at his business and paid them to firebomb businesses in Tula Marine, Hoppers Crossing, Warrigal, Keyesboro, and other locations. That's a campaign. Wasn't Miller's Crossing a Cone Brothers movie? This is Hoppers Crossing. Wow.

Because they're hopping on the thing. Bouncers crossing. Question for you guys. Now, I listed one, two, three, four places. And then after I said, other locations. So, as I said, that's a definite campaign. That's a campaign. How much do you think he paid the three men to run this campaign?

This is a simple plan. You're right. You're absolutely right. It's a Cone Brothers Dumb People Town story. Because you've got an eccentric. I'm going to show you in a second. That you're going to be like, if that's what this guy looks like, and I'll show you in a sentence or two. Who are his henchmen?

This is where you get very, like, Bushemi, and that amazing actor whose name I should remember who's in everything. Yeah. Yes. Wait, who's the guy who's the rich guy. Say it again, Aaron, because I think I stepped on it. Peter Stormair. Yes. Yeah.

Who is the rich guy, the name of the character of the rich guy in the big Lobowski? Lobowski. He's Lobowski. No, no. Oh, no. Whose house he goes to for that party? Oh, it's a different. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and she's saying his name. Yeah, I can't remember, but like, imagine, it feels like, Dan, I haven't seen the picture yet. Ben Gazzara's character. Yeah. Yes. Are you employed, Mr. Loboski? What day is it, man? um yes this is all these people yeah man

how much do you think he paid the guys uh less than a thousand bucks i mean i think it's just like that's just like your opinion man i think it's like 50 grand 50 000 50 000 because he sees but it's a ud is it 50 000 i'll tell you what i'm gonna show you him and then you guess how much this guy pays people well no wait wait wait before you show let's do our answers now and then we can change it after we show. After we see the idea.

Let's do you get two things. I say 50,000. Okay. He pays them all the henchmen together. I think... Yeah, it just gave me one number. I think 25. Okay.

25K? Yeah, okay. 15K. Okay. All right, now let's look at it. It's on the screen. How much is that guy paying? Three dudes, one of which he used to work for him.

I'm immediately going. For anybody who's only... Why is he burning them? He could just run head first into any of the... these bounce houses and pop them. Just whatever he used to color his hair. Yeah, for anybody who's listening, this guy loves a beach. This guy has glasses from 1990s. He takes a lot of photos of crowds. He's the manifestation of was in a band. Yeah. He also is like the color like salmon pink that Australian white Australian men turn after time. He's like his phrase is always like

it'll turn from sunburn to tan. If a couple girlfriends go to the beach and then he sits down behind them, they're going to another pace. They're going to move. Hey man, you got anybody else coming with you? Right, right.

Why your hands in your pocket? I say I immediately go from 50 to 10,000. Yeah. He's the type of guy who keeps saying, you used to have it on the menu. Right. Well, you used to make it. Okay, where did you go?

I went from 50 down to 10. 10,000? Okay. I think that I'm going to, I'm going to go to 13. 13,000. I was at 15, I'm going down to 6. And I'm not even kidding. I think that's high.

James Belcom, who we've all seen, and or you've heard about, paid the men, $2,000. Oh, my God. That's, I went down and I knew I was still too high. You didn't go down far enough. Yeah. He paid then $2,000. The court was told he did not light any blazes. but had other people do his dirty work for him.

He's the Charles Manson of bouncy houses. He's a fool to do your dirty work. Oh, yeah. He knows every steely dance. Every steely dance. Which is one thing I respect about him. His victims were left to pick up the pieces. Dan, that's just pretzel logic.

Alien Andrew said in a statement aired in court on Wednesday, quote, eight seconds is all it took to destroy 18 years of our livelihood. So that's how fast it goes up. Eight seconds. Been there. Eight seconds. It's also a great rodeo movie, eight seconds. Hard eight.

Another one. Eight millimeter, different movie. She and her husband. Sorry, eight mile. Eight miles. Also, different. Different. Alien Andrew said that she and her husband, Michael Andrew,

ran A&A Jumping Castles. That's a smart title. It comes up first when you look it up. And their Hoppers Crossing facility was destroyed in one of the attacks. The couple started the business in the 90s and never met James Balcombe before their award-winning business was crippled because of the blaze. They later closed the business after running at a reduced scale. So he's

out here taking out competitors that don't even know he exists. Right. But he's obsessed with them. He's been like, they're A&A. They already got the first name. First name on the Google. Here's the thing, though. Their name is like Aileen Andrew. So if she started, it's actually her initials. It's not even her fault

that she's better SEO. She's just doing her initial. At this point, are you hiring someone to break his knees? I mean, you're thinking about it. You got a The lullia's legs. You got to, like, lead pipe to the knees. The horror shock and disbelief that has happened to us will forever be etched in our minds, a sickening and tragic event that we can never unsee, Ms. Andrew said.

Her husband, Michael Andrews, said all of his years of hard work was taking away from him. Yeah. It was taken away from us 18 years of hard work gone up in flames. Business owner Andrew, there's a lot of Andrews in this. Andrew Saliba, who runs, this is at the bottom of the list, with a letter, X, stream, party hire, had several of his properties targeted, and his fear for his family became so intense that he

kept fire extinguishers at his home. Wow. This guy. I mean, do that anyway. Yeah, but still. Also, this is like, they made Mad Max in Australia because men didn't kill each other with guns. They killed each other with cars back then because Australia doesn't have guns. It's just really funny to be like, I had

to protect my family. And in America, you'd be like, I'd have a rifle by the door. He's like, oh, I've got a fire extinguish him by the door, just in case. All of their problems are So cute to me. I put spikes on the road just in case. I spent hours. This is Andrew Saliba.

I spent hours looking at cameras and waiting for these attackers to strike at any time. So you have this guy, this is where it's Coheny, because this guy is obsessed with his competitors. And then this guy who's the victim becomes obsessed with trying to catch him. And he's got extinguishers all over the house. You have the scene where he buys 15 fire extinguishers and they're like, we can't sell you this. That's another scene.

We own this movie, by the way. Javier Bardem is the extinguishes. Yeah. He said in a statement that he believes Balcom's passion from day one was to put him out of business. I think everybody was. Yeah. To destroy the campaign ended when Balcom ordered an attack.

This is where it gets to dumb people. Ordered an attack on his own premises. What? Yes. As retaliation. At kangaroo ground to, quote, deflect suspicion according to prosecutors. So after he hits everybody else, he's like,

oh, I know. I'll destroy my own property. But here's the problem. If you burn your own business down, then you don't reap the benefits. You are also going to go out of business. Right. He'd be the serial killer who kills himself.

Got him. Got him. I got me. Yeah. Now they'll never find me. Because these other people couldn't recover. Right. So now he does it to himself.

You're not going to recover either. No. Imagining like the distinct decline in bounce houses. You said this 2016, 2017, just like certain reasons. Family is like, are we going to have a party? We can't have a party. We can't have a birthday now for our six-year-old.

But the local magicians just raked it in. Oh, my God. Then you've got to start looking at them as suspect number one. Yeah, the alternate income. Gareth Reynolds out there showing up to birthday parties. You're just like, wait, and you made all the evidence disappear. The magnificent malichite. He'll start buying some big lizards.

Yes. His defense lawyer, Simon Kenny, said the bouncy castle boss wasn't successful until he started the party hire company. He became obsessed with being the best. He became obsessed without doing his rivals, Mr. Kenny told the court. He said his client was far from a, quote, sophisticated criminal mastermind. And that the attacks he instigated were amateurs. Far from a criminal mastermind.

That's shocking to me. I don't know. Judging by that picture, he seems like a criminal master. Yeah. He looks like the world's smallest cone head. He seems like he's slept in his car a lot. Happily. He seems like...

His eyes are that big when you take his glasses off. I want to see a person. picture of him in his teens when the long hair actually worked. He does look like he's on that drug Mr. Burns took and wandered around a night. Ahead of the trial in 2018, Thalcom failed to turn up for court and submitted a doctor's

letter to explain why he wasn't there which was later found to be fraudulent. He was told. He was nabbed using an alias in Western Australia, so he goes on the run. Oh, he's on the land. Two years later, when a federal police started investigating a fake stamp scheme, which

he pleaded guilty to and was Find four. You got to lay low, man. You're in Australia. Get to Thailand. It's not that far. And it's like, stop scheming. Stop scheming.

You pulled one scheme. You can't do another scheme when you're on the lamb. Balcombs be scheming. Belcombs be shopping. He's like alias when he like was trying to lay low. He just dyed that blonde hair red. Yeah. It's really close.

All right. We'll get out of here with this. Strawberry blonde. Even though you've seen him. How old? For fun. I mean, he's, I don't know that you can tell. How old is James Bell?

Balcom. Corey, you are a guest. Thank you for letting you go first. Thank you for letting me go first. I'm going to go 39. I think he looks like a really terrible 39. Oh, that is a terrible 39. He's 57.

Okay. He does look like a skinny Stavros. Like if he like lost, like hope. Yeah, Ozempic Stavis are the loss of hope. I hope Stavros never goes on Ozempic. Oh, no, no. Stavros never goes on Ozempic, yeah. No, no, no.

But Stavros also sounds like either a, artificial sweetener. I put Stavros in my Stavvy. Stavi. Or you're on Stavros and it is just something to keep you because everyone's going to be thin at some point when everyone has it. He's like, I want to be different. So I'm on Stavros, which keeps the fat retaining to my body. Stavi's the brand name and then Stavros, Halkias is like the actual medical. That's right.

The full medical. I love it. I'm going to say he's 48. 48. Okay. 57, 48, 39. We've got it all covered. One of you. is exactly right So we now get to play the game Do you want to stay with your number Or jump on somebody Here's the thing

It would mean more to me to be right at 39 Than it would to change and still lose So I'm going to stay at 309 If I'm wrong at 39 I don't want to be right I'm staying When we come back I'll tell you what I'm up to We will hear all about Corey

And Rand will take us into story too But I'll tell you right now James Balcom Is 57 years Oh There we go That's it. I love it. Corey Lane is our guest. We'll hear about his podcast, which is on this very network and how you can support him. And anytime he does anything live with Stamp Town, he was amazing, unbelievable. It's some people town with Cori Lane. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound, hunger down. It's dumb people town.

Hey, guys, welcome back to the show. The great Corey Lane is with us. I'm so excited. He's with us. And we will find out how you can support him. If you haven't heard his podcast, you can get on top of that. But Daniel, first, tell us what you got going on. Coming up, taking a little light fall. So you can see me at the Flyover Comedy Festival. That is November 13th through the 16th leading up to that Sunday night, the 16th, live dumb people town. Me, Sclaars, Rory Scoval, going to be a fun. We will have a Greenlee. Oh, baby. It's going to be a great time.

Go to Flyover Comedy Festival or Daniel Van Kirk.com to get tickets for that. And then on the 22nd, you can also go to Daniel Van Kirk.com because on the 22nd of November, I'm doing this big fundraiser show for Habitat for Humanity of Blue. Louiston, Indiana. It's a big old theater show. It's going to be a lot of fun. Awesome. Evan Hall is opening up for me.

Nice. I love him. If I get into town early, maybe I'll go to the Indiana, Wisconsin game. But Daniel Van Kirk.com for all that stuff. Other than that, check out the midnight air if you haven't already. And hopefully I'll talk to you soon. Hopefully.

Come on. Yeah, yeah. Let's see. I know. Talk to you live. In person. Yeah. Because Dan was like, hopefully I'll talk to you.

I don't know what's going to happen. We're going to talk for the next 40 minutes. That was so ominous. All right, Corey, let people know about your awesome podcast here and how people can. It's so funny. It's so good. Wait, but before you do that, you were saying, by the way, that Australian money is worth half. Oh, the Australian dollar is worth half the U.S. dollar.

Okay. Or it's like, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. So whatever the amount of, but it doesn't have great buying power. Like beer and cigarettes and everything that you would want to buy. I'm kind of showing my cards here. Sure. But they're very expensive in Australia.

Right. And so $2,000, AUD does not go very far. Nope. Nope. Nope. Got you. All right, so let's hear about what you're doing. So I've got a podcast with this network called The Business Casual Show with my two best friends.

We've been performing together. Thanks, man. We're called Business Casual. We met when we were in college and we've been performing for the last 10 years. We do a podcast once a week, have a bunch of fun guests come on and bring a bit. We've done bits like we had somebody come in and read our palms. We had somebody come in. We've done a lot of like mystical stuff.

We had a terror reader come in and give us like a very ominous prediction about our podcast. Real terror reader? This was like a real tarot reader that I met at a party. And I was like, and he came and sat down and explained to us what chaos magic was. We also do non-magic stuff. We have characters come on. We have ghost hunters come in. Yeah, we got ghost hunters, werewolves, all the kind of stuff.

We did a bit called Guess the Soup, where Jeremy put soup in squirt guns and then from a distance shot soup in our mouth and say like what soup it is. Sure. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, it's great. And it's great for an audio medium, too. Sure. But I also perform with a group

called Stamp Town Which is where I'm in it We've been in it. We do are so good And crazy in it Just the way you described How there was rain In a bouncy house

And that was your favorite moment Ever least to get wet? No, that's Stamp Town That's Stamp Town It's like everything goes off the rails And the crazy stuff happens And you contribute to it In like the most glorious way

I recently, so I do a bit on this show Where I'm supposed to be Someone from the venue that's coming to help out, but instead I come out in like a short cut off. Really like short, short, short. Hit a beer with a hammer and then like chug the whole thing. Oh, my God, every beer. And I do, I don't drink all of the beers, but I do drink a lot of beer.

This beard helps me sort of like, I let a lot of the beer out of my mouth and it hides in my beard. Yeah, yeah. We did the show in Edinburgh, and I did that bit 20 times in a row. Holy five. So you had approximately, let's just say you drank 10 or 11 beers. I would say that for every beer I hit on stage. I'm consuming about a third of it.

They are tall cans. I'm putting it back. I'm putting it back. You're throwing back at least 10 regular beers in a, in an hour and a half show. Yeah, yeah, but it's the only thing I learned how to do in college that I'm making money off. Oh, my God. Yeah, thank you. No, we were backstage, and every time you, like, you cracked a beer, we were all like, oh, my God.

You're doing it again. My mother has never seen the show. And she sees all these pictures. She's like, well, you look very handsome while you're doing that. I just make sure that you're okay. I love your mom. So, all right. So check that out.

Check them out live on Stamptown. Check out business casual. And you are at, is it Corey Peter Lane? Cory Peter Lane on Instagram. Follow this. And at business casual comedy on Instagram as well. Do it. Lovely, a gentle giant, an American Hagrid.

All right. Shall we jump in this? Yes, let's do it. Okay. This one sent in by our good friend, Carleen McDermine at She be Carleen. You ready? Yes.

Here we go. Woman, and we'll get her age later. Yeah. Sentenced to jail after being caught on film having sex in jail lobby. Well, in the lobby. She's just trying to get one more visit in. Right? Before she gets locked in.

Let's get one in. But who? There can't be other prisoners in the lobby. Do you want to? So nobody, that song. Nobody, baby. Oh, yeah. I think he's sweat.

I want it. So I think there should be a sequel to that In the lobby In the lobby, baby Sex in the lobby, come on The lobby, okay. Lobby sex. Sex happens.

I don't know why this is. The woman's boyfriend reportedly told the sheriff's deputy After the pair were filmed having intercourse In a jail lobby. That was his thing. Sex happens. Dude, to be backed into a corner so bad

that you just start like Sex after. To put it on sex. Yeah. So essentially he is taking zero responsibility. This just occurred. I didn't want, you're acting like I actually had a choice. Guys, sex happened to both of us.

Because the logic of shit happens, no matter what you do, no matter what you try, shit's going to find you. It's going to happen. That's right. She gets beyond your control. Sex happens. Sex is like, hey, I wanted to go to the grocery store to this, but sex happens. Which is fine. I am in favor of that. You ready?

Okay. There's stuff you can control and stuff. If you can't, sex, obviously, you can't. A Wisconsin woman was ordered to serve time behind bars after she and her boyfriend were caught having intercourse in a jail lobby. Only then to be, only to then be accused months later of having sex in a laundromat. What? So clearly this is what it is, right? Well, sex happens.

And it happens wherever you, you know, during the sense of time. Karen Hill and we'll get her wearing their dirty laundry. Karen Hill was. Karen Hill? Karen Hill. Karen. She's the ultimate Karen. Isn't that Henry Hill's wife?

Yeah. What's Karen Hill? Lorraine Braco was charged with disorderly conduct after she and I love this guy's name. Which is great because his quote is you fucked us. Karen. Karen. And this is literally. She literally did.

She did. She fucked everybody. Sex happens. All right. She was Karen Hill and her boyfriend who if this isn't like if we tried to make up this name for a character, if you pitch in a writer's room, people would be like, absolutely not. Desmond Cleveland.

That's an improv. That's an improv, man. Desmond Cleveland is a guy who's always in a robe. A silk robe. Sir, Desmond Cleveland allegedly had sex in a laundromat last December. Prosecutors previously accused the pair of having intercourse in the lobby of the Waukesha County.

You know, Waukesha, that is the county jail. Waukesha. Wau. Waucahashaw. Wau. Wachia. Wau. Wachia is the person that they had the threesome with Waukesha Cleveland is his wife on Monday the laundromat

charges against Hill were dismissed and read in during sentencing who's just putting quarters in her slot for the jail lobby sex court case

she pleaded no contest the jail lobby case and was sentenced to how long in the Waukesha County Jail case with credit for how many days

served however long Desmond could last that's right right you make it like all right we'll do days per seconds that you could

we put the tumble in tumble dry I got how long was she sent him to impress himself on her six weeks six weeks is 42 days okay what do you think I'm gonna go 11 days 11 days what do you think yeah I think that it was like a minimum

sentence I think it was like a day okay get your answers in townies because she was sentenced to 90 days in the walk of show jail however there was some time already served How many days did they say she already served?

Like 90 days minus how many? Oh, I'll go back. 11. Nine days minus 11? 90 days. I'll do it at 45. She's served 45 total. Okay.

90 days with like 20 days off. 90 days served with credit for 34 days served. So you're the closest. There you do. So being served the records. In December, the owner of the laundromat told the police he saw people, quote, engaging in sexual intercourse under a blanket in full view of the camera now he's like and it took me an extra 15 minutes to get off watching that yeah yeah I'm like what do you want a plane

this is happening on planes by the way all the time all the time right just people just going under the blanket but like or or the last episode of the show I know or walking down a plane aisle and you look to your left and there's just like on everyone's screens just like people having sex yeah you know a lot of the planes have HBO and stuff right and You know, like, there's a kid across the aisle. Yeah, you have to be. You have to really be committed to wanting to watch some nudity in public. You have to check the surroundings before you choose your.

Yeah, you just got to be careful. But whatever. So in the... One of the biggest porn categories is stuck in a dryer. That's very true. That's true. So they were just... And then the second biggest is stuck in the walk-shop.

Right. Stuck in the Woggin'all lobby. Yeah. The county jail lobby. So clearly this is a thing for them that they want to have sex in public places. You mean love? Clearly, they're in love. There are some places you can't do it.

Like, it is... Most places. Right. It is, like, if you were... Odds are, you should... If you walked into the laundromat to do your laundry and you just saw two people just going at it under a blanket, that would be the weirdest thing you've ever seen. Because you have to sit there and make sure people don't steal your clothes.

I'm like, have it. Right. Enjoy it. Yeah. Like, I saw two people having sex at a creed concert. And I was like, fine. Yeah. Fine.

That's where you should be doing it. Take her higher. Legs wide open. All right, Karen Hill was sent this time out of the bar. Another laundromat customer was sitting, quote, not far from them the entire time. Cucked at the laundry mat. Yeah, that's right. Filming it, cutt in the mat.

The filing say, it's a laundromat employee, then yelled at the pair to leave and apologized to the other. Get out of here. Get! It's like when I see a coyote, like near my house. Come on, go. Yeah. Yeah. You're bigger than the two people having sex.

Make yourself big. Yeah. Yeah. Get out of here. Rattling a can of coins. Rattling a can of quarters. Woo! Woo! Woo! Get out here.

I one time got in trouble when I was a kid. I was hooking up with my high school girlfriend in the car. I was also in high school. Yeah. And we got pulled over by the good distinction. Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to make sure. I was 16.

She was 17 because I was cool. Yeah. And we got pulled over by the cops. And they, my. first thing that I said to the cops, they were like, open the door. And then I pulled up my pants and I went, we were just doing hand stuff. I think that matters. I think that I was like, I was like, in the moment, I was like, surely full penetrative sex is like a, is like a bigger no doubt. Dude, that was so smart. We're just mess around. Hey, man, we're just two high

school kids. Just showing each other stuff. It's like a health class. We're just showing each other's studying for anatomy she was showing on me where i didn't hurt her yeah uh so i just want to say the laundromat employee walks up and goes hey get out of here open mic's about to start uh yeah we got set chairs up yeah yeah deputy then called hill who uh admitted cleveland was her boyfriend and they had consensual sex and that she tried to cover both them up with articles of clothing so no one would see them it's like yeah people you're See them. It doesn't matter.

It's playing hide and seek and putting a cover over. This isn't the cloak of invisibility that you're watching. If your goal as no one sees, guess where you could go do this? Your house. Yeah. In a room. Or a car. Right.

Also, the beautiful manipulation tactic. Like, we could have just been fucking out in the open. Yeah. I was doing you a favor. I guess I'm the bad guy. Oh. So there is a time. I love when the bad guy says.

There is an explanation. Although they initially planned to go to a boarding house, they got locked out and walked to the jail lobby and took a nap. She told the deputy. It's like, what are supposed to do? Not upset. Everything she says, I can see her saying it in a way of like,

don't you understand? Like, obviously, we went to a boarding house. We were obviously locked out. We came to the jail and we took a nap. Like, what would you do? It's like we all would do. It's like a mad kid. Yeah.

Well, you made me mad. And so obviously I threw my book at the window. You made me mad. I kicked my brother. Because you made me mad. Because you yelled at me. Why was it open? And why were you playing music that made me?

horny in the in the right was the book so easy to throw yeah that's so good it's so grippy logic that's what this person's logic is cleveland apparently told the deputy sex happens he allegedly noted that he was aware of the cameras so okay right in april uh cleveland pleaded no contest to the laundromat disorderly kind of charge and was ordered to serve 60 days in jail what if cleveland was like to the cops like off to the side being like thank god guys i can't keep I don't take her away I don't know what you're going to do with her but you have to take her away. If I have to bang this one

in the produce section of the leading into the body cam and he's like, get me out of this relationship. I can't take this anymore. Do you know what we did at a Burger King last night? Drive through? Wait. She wants it all the time. I mean that's true for everything that they got caught for. That's like maybe the tip of the iceberg for

everything they've done. Just the tip. This is like every time that you're on a protected red left turn arrow and you go go anyway, you got to factor that in when you eventually get a ticket. You go, well, I just got charged 80 bucks but I've done it 20 times. Exactly. It's your subscription fee. Yes.

I've been paying four bucks a time. Yeah. Just four bucks a time to go, fuck it, I'm going. Yeah. Pretty good. Pretty good. Yeah. Really good. I just, I made like two U-turns like the other night and didn't get cut. Did not

get caught. And I definitely had like drugs in my system. It was just all of it was bad. All of it was stupid. ended your life. So you're ahead. Yeah. So, all right, let's get out here on this. We're going to find out. Just, we're going to show a picture if we can, Aaron, of, uh, these are a couple. Oh, good for them. How old is, uh, riding Miss Daisy? Well, she's definitely, she's definitely way younger than him. She's way younger than him.

Desmond Cleveland is how old. Let's do, let's start with, you want to start with Desmond Cleveland? Let's do Cleveland first. I get nothing for my riding Miss Daisy. I liked it. Thank you. I was taken away by their beauty. Riding Ms. Daisy is perfect. All right. So Desmond Cleveland is how old?

How old do we think he is? 36. Yeah, I'm going to go 36. What do you think? I think he's 29. 29? 27. One of you is one year off.

He's 35 years old. 28. I think he's 30. Get your answers in townies because Desmond Cleveland is 30 years old. You're having a day here. All right. Let's see if you can keep it going. How old is cat?

Karen Hill. Karen Hill. You go first. I think that she is 59 years old. 59, okay. I'm going to go 61 years old. Okay, Jay, what do you think? 56.

56 years old. Get your answers in. Never smoked a cigarette. Karen Hill is 68 years old. Oh, my Lord. It's all that public sex. Oh, wow. Yeah.

She looks great. What an awesome story. And it's like, look. Look, it's dumb, but it's love, and I can never be mad at love. I hope they use condoms. What have you got her pregnant? I don't know. That would be fantastic.

What a bummer. All right. He dropped it. And no one made the joke. He dropped his load in her. Anyway, at the laundromat. Guys, we got one more story. Jay, give us a little taste.

A teacher being acting like a crazy teenager. Hey, I like it. It is Dumb People Town, and Corey Lane is our guest. We'll tell you what we have going on right after this. But check out his pod business casual. We'll be right. back stick around make a sound hunger down it's dumb people town hey gang welcome back to the show before we jump into the last story hey we just found out we are doing the den theater in chicago

we haven't been to chicago in so long which i absolutely love that theater one night so we're doing cincinnati we're doing that cool bar or the brewery thing on uh the 12th of december and then we're doing uh the den theater in chicago on the 13th it's a saturday night chicago in december it's gorgeous perfect time not gonna be windy at all we think chicago is promised us it would not be windy but coming from the cold and remember we did shubas like years ago like in december like 40 below oh my god it was freezing it was the crazy it was freezing we got we got 150 people in there i think that night man let's see let's see if we can get a lot of people doing den theater i want to sell this out and come back and do a full weekend there but let's let's show them what we can do a lot of

really good people are shooting their specials at the den yeah i know ron funches is and whatnot i just want I'm going to do a good job because I love that theater. So it'll be all at punchup. Dot Live is all of our stuff. We're sort of putting all of our dates and stuff on punchup. Dot Live. Follow us there. And we'll let you know kind of when stuff is happening.

We're super show. Fly over, of course. Fly over. We're doing that with Daniel and St. Louis in St. Louis on November 16th. So check all that out. And we're going to be writing on and hopefully on the new Kevin Hart, Keenan Thompson, sports show on Amazon. We're pitching things for us to do.

I'm sure we'll make it on the show. but yeah check that out on Amazon starting I believe the first one is November 22nd yeah airs around Thanksgiving the week at the week of Thanksgiving Tuesday yeah all right here we go this was sent in by me I found it I found it sometimes we find it and this is a crazy story and it's insane and it's someone being an idiot okay here we go this is in the the Atlanta Black Star there's nothing else I can do white jewelry shop worker breaks black man's watch

then calls mall security and cries after customer demands store to pay for repairs. What? Maybe the longest headline ever? Ever. Guys. So when you screw up somebody's thing, then start crying because that's what you do and then you go into a ball. I mean, this is what happens when a lot of people try to

gaslight people in fights, right? Yeah, yeah. You piss someone off and then you start crying and then they have to start taking care of you and then all of a sudden the issue's gone. So he brings his watch and she breaks his watch and then refuses to fix it? Yeah. And then call security on him. Yeah, because he's upset.

Because he broke the watch, you dumb dummy. Okay, a video circulating on social media shows the moment a watch store employee at a Philadelphia mall. Philly! Philadelphia, my door it on your watch. You can't bring your watch in. Go throw it down. I get a pal because I screwed it out.

All right. Watch her employee at a Philadelphia called security on a black customer after she broke his watch and told him she was unable to repair it. If you can't fix a watch, you shouldn't be working at this. No. Exactly. There's a, so my, there's a watch, I don't know, repair guy or clock repair guy, jewelry repair guy, up by Dodger Stadium. He's like one of my favorite. He has like one of those things that goes, he does. He's got a little, a little tiny little thing on his glasses. This guy is, first of all, he's been there forever. He's like a hundred and twelve years old. No, no, no. He's, he's probably like a little older than us, but like he's. I could say a little older than that. He's 10012 years. No, no, $130. $1.15. No, this guy's amazing.

And it just is, it makes me love, like, you go into this place. It's in that same, you know, where button mash is like that, like, it's in a little mall. A little strip mall in there. Like, the parking is really difficult and terrible. Yeah, yeah. So, Amy, my wife had like an old clock that her was. Oh, the clock you guys got repaired. This guy repaired it.

Like, it was like only true experts could do and repair what this is. So this guy. is like the exact opposite. I want to point out that this woman, this woman is the complete opposite of this guy who I think is, it just made me happy to see a business that wasn't a chain

that is just this guy's business. It's like a middle finger to AI. That's what one of those businesses is. I mean, those clocks are going to be, that is a job that'll be a job forever. As long as people want those things. Because most people can get this stuff from Alexa or their phone and whatnot, which is a bummer.

But this guy, you walk in, and he's got all the work that he's doing. Alexa, what do I like? Alexa, who am I personally? Alexa, what's important to me? You're going to get letters for that. Hey, I just enjoyed listening to your podcast, so you started screaming in my smart smart.

Oh, yeah. Hey, Siri, call. Don't do that either. Don't do it. So I don't understand why in a watch place you would even break a watch. Like, I don't even know how. Now, if you got into it and they were like,

I can't do this. My response is going to go, you can't fix that here. If they go, no, I'd be like, So I'm just going to bring you the invoice for where I can. Listen to how minor the repair was and then how dumb this. In his conversation with a young security guard, I don't know why they had to mention that the security guard was young. And they were like a young attractive strapping security guard.

The customer explains that he visited the shop to get a new battery for his watch. That's it. Battery? A new battery. Like you and I, we could do this, Dan. Oh, I can't. He said that when the staff member replaced the old battery, she told him that she couldn't screw the watch cover back on

that he could just leave and she wouldn't charge him. Yeah, but that's not. That's what she would like. You made it worse. Oh, you can just leave. Like, she broke it. And I won't charge you. Oh, really?

Because now I have a broken watch. I bet you won't. The customer claimed that he informed the employee that if he took his watch to another store that could repair it, he would send the bill to her shop because she had broken the watch. That all seems fair. That's 100% fair. Nothing unreasonable about that.

He told the young attractive security guard. Customer claimed that he informed the employee that, okay, yeah, at this point, the employee interjects, employee jumps in and tells the guard that she offered to send the watch from another repair vendor shop. She contracts with the customer refused the service and requested his watch be fixed then and there. Well, he's saying he did something different. What's the big problem? I told him there's probably debris in the screw hole. which is that i mean that could have been from our story before yeah right there's tebran hill this debris in the screw hole and i can't screw it in the employee says i gave him

the option that we can send it to our repair shop you're the repair shop right you are the person it's like when a therapist goes to a therapist it's like what are you doing we'll send you to the bigger therapy yeah to the real one that has the answers we're the fake repair watches here but we're going to send us out to a repair shop and he says no and there's nothing else I can do, sir. The staffer then looks at another security god and asks, can you please remove him? Why are we removing him?

Why are we removing? Also, if she can't repair it, and then she goes, I can have this repaired. And he's like, no. Aren't we really done? We're at an impasse. What I'm saying is like,

and then she goes, okay, well, do you want to leave then? I mean, I don't know what else to do. Like I can't. And then if he's like, no, I'm not going to leave. At some point, you do go. You have to leave. Right.

But it doesn't make him in the wrong. I'm just saying the transaction is over. There is nothing else to be done. He should leave and then go, hey, give me your manager's email. Here's that invoice. I went and had this repaired myself. So then off camera, the staffer breaks out in tears, listening questions from a bystander taking a video of the interaction, which of course, now everyone is now.

As soon as they see that there's a potential, we can get a viral video going. Why are you crying, the bycenter asks, because I'm trying to explain to you, the staff member says tearfully there's no need to cry this is ridiculous this is so stupid did the bystander said like well it's not that stupid yeah i know the customer continues talking to the security guard and how to resolve the situation when a head of security members steps in to get his side of the story i mean this is crazy this is nuts the video was reshared on other platforms there's actually no real side to the story well it's just what happened but what should have happened is the woman takes out the battery tries to put the new one in and tries to screen

in. And there is a problem. There's a problem. Strip it or there is something wrong with it, whatever. We are going to send this away and we are going to get that. We're going to take care of this. Do not worry about this. This is on us. We're going to figure this thing out.

That's how you build business for the future. Yeah, right. You don't go. Well, you got to leave now because I broke your watch. People are chiming in. They are saying they already the matter could have been resolved differently. Even after the customer declined, the employees offered to send the watch to a repair vendor.

Just for the record. Anything that ever goes wrong could have been resolved. It could have been resolved that. That's why it went wrong. The fucking clairvoyancy of somebody who's like, hot take, this could have gone better. Duh. Could have been solved easier. So the bill they're saying could because it could be easily, you know, it should fall to the store because if she can't do it, she should have spoken to a supervisor, all that stuff.

Also, someone said, first, you took an expensive watch to a mall kiosk. Well, that's not victim blame. I know. They're saying they can do it, they can do it. They're saying they can do it. And it's not resolved. I should have turned him away. This could have gone better.

This could have gone better. It was a viral video that could have gone better. Everyone's kind of a little wrong and a little bit right. Yeah. I don't know how much he's wrong, but sometimes you have to realize the person you're trying to do with cannot help. So when someone screw something up. And then you need to like, how much are you just going to cut losses or are you going to take a different course? But this person in front of you is not helpful.

Yeah, no. So if somebody screw something. something up for you right away do you then not trust them to give it to somebody else and fix it of course not it's like why would you oh the person that you dummy trust right like surely the dummy can't trust a good run it up the dummy ladder yeah exactly don't run out so that no ages on these people and that was just a crazy story they should you should send them your guy yeah i will my guy's the best i love this guy so much all i'm saying is like he is a true i was like you're a true artisan. You're like a master. You're in the same level of like someone who's like really good at martial arts. He's probably smart enough. When he's fucked up, he just tells somebody like, oh, you know what? We need a part. This is going to be a few more days. Learn how to lie. Learn how to

learn how to lie. This is where it's a teenager at a kios. Is a teenager at a kios. That's all it is. You got to teach a teenager in the kios to be like, go get your sneakers cleaned over there. And then we'll like, Randy and I worked at, when we worked at a snack bar, we were 14. years old and it was like if there was any problem anywhere we just went in the back and just pretended to be talking to somebody and then we came back and we're like we can't do it yeah there's no more milk in the back right we went in the back and like peed in the sink like literally that was my boys there you go that's a story that's a show the podcast is business casual the show live you can see cori lane is uh stamp town which is just fantastic catch it anytime it's near you

midnight air catch that for daniel and come see us when we do our live dumb people town as part of flyover fest on the 16th and all the other dates it's dumb people town thank you for joining us and oh snap we got to get back to work peace