Dumb People Town - Dan Mintz - Well Rounded Entertainer

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

Comedian, writer, and actor (Well Rounded Entertainer, Bob's Burgers) stops by as Jason describes how a stripper attacked her club's manager with a pole, Randy explains why "Baby Jessica" was arrested, and Daniel warns against stealing a Red Bull truck and trying to make a delivery, and so much more!Thanks to our sponsors: Hims and Sheath!To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit Hims.com/DPTFeel it to believe it. Go to sheath.com/DPT and use code DPT for 20% off!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Townies, it's a wonderful episode of Dump People Town with the equally wonderful Dan Mint. He's here today. He's got a special that you should go see and we've got crazy stories. Jason has a pole dancer poll fight. We'll dig into all that. Then Randy jumps in with a story that it's timeless. It's an update. It's an update on baby Jessica and things aren't doing well, including her or the well itself.

And then I close everything out with a story about Red Bull, defying the odds, seeing how far you can take yourself and doing it all illegally. It's this episode of Dumb People Town With the great Dan Mints Thank you Dan and ran and Jay will share Tales of folk so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes Choose the life they choose

We'll make the news Breaking down each epic bail In Florida there's half-rise bail I'm happy to say they Good into our podcast band With co-host our man Dan Bender don't be a jerk Because when the music is Dump People Town

Sound hunger down is Dump People Town Hey, townies welcome to another episode of Dumb People, Town. Population, you. Population mince. Dan mince. We don't mince words around here. A couple of Dan's, couple of sclars. Actually, we do mince words.

We got two pairs of that. We mince mincees around here. There's so many wonderful connections, and you've got a new special out, which we'll talk about in the second season. If you're a Bob's Burgers fan, you're just going to listen to this podcast and hear the voice. I know these characters. 50% in Bob's Burgers. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, 50 percenters.

50 percent twins. 50 percent dreaming of being on the show. Yeah, someday. Someday we'll get on that show right when it's canceled. No, it'll go on forever because it's so wonderful. It's so great. And the best fans in the world, too. Somebody sent me to my business manager a figurine someone had made of my character.

Oh, wow. And people love my character, Flips White Fudge. But like, my character has only shown up like three or four times, like, ever. But that's like how deep the love. for that show runs. I mean, the fan art. And somebody was like, I'm going to make this. And then somebody else sent me a character.

There's a woman who does paintings of like every character. And she did a flip swipe. And I was like, this top to bottom, these people, this show is just so beloved. Well, I mean, the artist. Credit to everybody. I'm sure you've gotten some insane, awesome fan art. Yeah. No, it's, yeah, it's pretty incredible.

I mean, that's a great thing about an animated show is a different type of fan. Yeah. Yeah. What's also great about this, that specific animated show is, and for you personally, you don't have to stress your voice to a certain place. Like, no. It is they,

what they've done with your voice almost in the same way of, like, that Smigel did with fun with real audio is, it takes what your voice is and puts it into the body of a person that you would never expect to have that voice. Oh, it's so good. And it just makes use of what you have in a way, rather than you stressing to get to that place,

which is remarkable. Yeah, I mean, shortly after I got that job, I got an audition to do voiceover in a movie and I go in and they say, okay, read it three different ways than I do. And they say, that was all the same way. You're like, so I nailed it?

This is what I'm used to. That's my way. And this is my way. Do you want me or do you not want me? Here we go. I can't do it. All right, well, the world's getting dumber. We'll get into your special soon.

Yeah, let's prove it. Amazing too. But here's some dumb stuff sent in by our buddy. Sean Anderson at Sean 70. Let's get a-W-N-E-70 if you want to follow on Twitter. This is how you know we really pour over these. Because we are memorizing the handles and spellings. I know.

Of the regular. I just want to get it right. I just want to get it. Contributors. Yes. Our reporters. All right, here we go. Stringers.

A fired stripper accused of alleged attack on former manager with a seven foot metal pole at a North Miami Beach Club. I wouldn't touch him with a 10 foot pole. Seven foot pole. You took that joke before I could Oh, sorry, sorry, go There's got to be other pole Poll. Yeah, 100%. Where would she get a pole?

I mean, I really... Standard pole is probably what? Nine feet? Eight feet, ten feet? Wait, so it was a stripper pole? That's what I'm wondering too. She unscrewed the stripper pole Or you have to like saw it off? Yeah, because that's the thing.

If you're writing this article or reporting it or you're the cop writing the report, you have to be very specific. If we're talking about a pipe, say pipe. Because if you say pole, that's too who's on first-dee for the context. And like just the sound of it squeaking as she's lefty-loosey-ing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think strippers should be able to control the pole like comics control the mic.

Let me get this pole down to where I like it to my height. By the way, also, everyone doing it a night. Lefty Lucy could be her stripper name. I'm just saying. That's a great name. She only hangs on the pole. Definitely in Portland. Also, Lucy, Lefty, L-O-A.

O-O-O-S-E-Y-L-Ridy. Righty-Tidey. Right. Come on, righty-tidey, coming up to the base stage. We got lefty, Lucy. He got the standby there. Don't forget we have Miller Bachelor Party at the house, guys.

Two for what, Yeager-Bob's X. Our. Let's call her bloodices. All right. A stripper who has been fired for her, quote, bizarre behavior and tendency to fight with coworkers. Tendency. That means it's happened a few times.

Yeah. And now she got fired. It's like, you know how you go to a place and there's a sign that says, don't do this? Like it's definitely happened enough times that people are like, we need to put up a sign. I went to or it will keep happening. A bar off the strip bar in Vegas that my friend of a friend took me to. I already shouldn't know.

Not, don't go there. And they had rules of the bar. It's somewhere in my phone. I took a photo of it. It was like rules of the bar. First of all, you had to walk up and then like an apartment complex get buzzed into the bar. Oh, my Lord. See, I kind of love this.

And then the rules of the bar. And like number one, the top three rule was only fair. fights. Fighting is cool. Fights are going to happen. Only fair fights, guys. How many times do you think this has happened? Yeah, like this would not be a fair

fight. What if it's fair for one person but the other person is not fair? Yeah, they have an adjudicator who decides early in the fight. You know what guys? Turns out, not a fair fight. She's got a seven foot pole. How's that fair? Seven.

They had different rules. It's not that part. She had a Ncenaed to fight coworkers was arrested last week for allegedly attacking with the pole, the manager of the North Miami Beach strip club, at which she used to work. I'm just happy they use proper English. At which she used to work. Princess Alia Bell. Is that her name or her stripper name?

I don't know. She might be an actual princess. I mean, there's not that many princesses. It's true. Of Monaco. I can show you the way. That wouldn't be good if she is royalty. I am stripping before you.

I don't know if it's a real name. All right. She had been allowed by the manager to return to taboo to pick up her belongings after being let go. I'm going to get out ahead of this. Did you look up taboos? I did not and I want you to tell me. I know, Dan, I'm not as good as you are.

So, Dan, this is your, I love it. Your brain always goes to what? What's the Yelp rating on this? I want to see some reviews. Where are we at? I'll tell you. I'll tell you, I'll tell you, in Miami Beach. Okay.

Wait, but here's the thing. If this woman has, quote, a tendency to fight with co-workers, why would you allow her to return to pick up her belongings? At some point, you're like, you know what? We'll have someone drop them off at your house. We'll get a task rabbit to send it to you. Yeah. You know what world would you think that's going to be a good scenario? I fired you, and now I'm inviting you back into the place to get your stuff. I mean, she must have just a lot of belonging. And how many belongings are you bringing to the strip club? Yeah, what do you approve? What did she have there that's still there? Even if you had a lot of clothes there, a lot of stripper

clothes would fit in a Ziploc bag. Let me get my purse. I need my coffee bag. And I need to just take my seven foot pole. Well, I never, I never decorate my office, but some people bring in, like, all these, you know, pictures of their family. It would be funny to see her walking out with the cardboard box of all of her belongings, the box that looks like it's wood.

She's having a real, like, Jerry McGuire speech. Right. You're cool. I'm out. I'm out. That is really insane to imagine what she, world's number one stripper, a coffee. And what would answer both the questions is if at this club, every stripper has their own pole. Right.

You have to bring your own poles? She has to come pick up the pole. Practice. You got to get your pole. Yeah, yeah. Get your stuff. I'm going to get my purse. I've got to get my pole.

I mean, it could be like top chef. Like, please pack your pole and leave. That's how you get fired. Please. And they just look up and they're like, what's her name, Princess. What's Princess. And Padma is so sad when she says it. Please pack your poll.

There she is. Oh, man. Okay. She kind of has a crown. Let me go, princess. Princess. Is not royalty. No.

She's definitely pissed. She's upset. She's royalty in certain ways. They're like, can you not glare at us through the top of your eyelids? She's like through her eyebrows. She's got to look up at people. North Miami Beach Club while Dan's looking up their Google rating. What should have been a relatively short visit turned into chaotic.

and turned chaotic and resulted in her arrest after she allegedly started swinging the pole around. I mean, if you're in there. Who gives her accent? The woman who has a tendency to fight coworkers? No, I think he was, I think he's, I don't think it's right. Dan is it her pole? I think, yeah, I think they each have their own poll. They're kind of a cheap club that doesn't want to pay for polls.

You got to bring her up. And someone in the middle of her swinging is like, hey, is that my pole? Okay, sorry. Hey, that's a load bearing pole. Don't pull that. It looked like my poll. I'm sorry. They looked very similar. North Miami Beach police were called to the strip club Monday

according to the NBC Miami after reports of a woman battering staff and causing a disturbance Bellhood reportedly caused a scene shortly after arriving to gather her property. Send it to her. According to the report the manager said that she started quote going nuts and running around inside

the club throwing things and cursing out security and security stepped in and escorted her outside, but that wasn't the end of the night from Ms. Also, kudos to the guy who keeps the lap dance going throughout the soul. He's like, you're not going to... I paid for one song. You're not going to disrupt this thing. Or the guy who's like, hey, can we just pick up another song after the...

No, they don't even turn down lollipop by Lil'O Wayne at all. Like, that just keeps playing. Keeps playing. At least on the side stage. Hell yes. Her alleged disturbance must not have proven her point. efficiently because she reportedly returned with a seven-foot metal pole. Oh, it is her pole on the back of her car.

You know, we used to have a microphone that we would take to some shows because no one sometimes they didn't have two mics. That's smart. Gay, we got, you don't have two mice, we'll be right back. She does a two-pole act. She's a two-pole act. She knows, I need a secondary pole. That's her fighting pole.

She's starting around and stuff happens. I'm going to bring this second pole. You know there's somebody I'm imagining a roommate. She came back with her box, right? and then got the pole, they were like, where are you going that pole?

Like, you don't leave the house. The pole never leaves the house. Don't worry about it. You don't see a pole in the wild. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

Instead of dancing on it, I think you are. No shit. She started waving it around at security. Bell then allegedly threw the pole and hit the manager and the leg with it. Oh. Do you think he's like,

the pole can't be coming that fast. Unless she like took it and whipped it and threw it. It's not possible, but do you think he stood there waiting so he could sue her? Yeah, I mean, it's kind of an awkward thing to throw. A seven-foot pole? Yeah. It's not going to come.

It's not going to get much speed. I mean, I'm assuming that the manager is morbidly obese. I'm just going to assume that. I guess you're assuming, okay. Okay, so then maybe he can't get out of the way. Yeah, yeah. Maybe that was. Or he thought he thought he was calling her bluff.

You're going to hit me? My question is, did the impact of it on his leg knock his top head off? not fedora you're going full top hat top hat by the time officer Dan's damn man's hardly laughing by the time officers arrived at the club she had already left the scene they found her walking nearby

when so she just walked to the club they attempted to speak with her the body cam footage shows she took off but she didn't get far they caught her took her into custody then to a hospital for medical examination before she ended up in jail on charges of aggregated, aggravated battery. And aggregated.

Aggregated every. Let's aggregate all these charges. Aggravated battery, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. I mean, they're calling the stripper pole a deadly weapon. You could. And it is in a strip club, too, a deadly weapon. Yeah. I mean, it could have hit bystanders.

That's right. Thank you. Resisting an officer without violence and giving a false name or identification. Who are you, Dave? Prince. It was later, Prince, Leah. It was later revealed that Bell, who said that she lives in Detroit, well, that's, I don't think anyone was going to argue with that.

Dan Mintz will be in the Detroit area soon at Ann Arbor. Had several outstanding warrants during an appearance on court on Tuesday. So, okay, this isn't the first time she's been there. One in-state and another fugitive warrant from Georgia, reportedly related to a robbery. She's just going on a little tour. It's like, I don't know how much vetting they do when they're hiring strippers. To me, it's like, are you willing to take her clothes off? Well, I'm just thinking if it's, they have a ten, she has a tendency to attack coworkers.

Yes. And they still kept her on. She must be an amazing stripper. Right. Like the stripping value. I mean, they always say this. Like, have sex with a crazy person, right? Because sex will be great.

Sure. You say. I don't know the answer to that. I was going to say the Tiger Woods quote, winning cures everything. If she's this good at it. It covers up all war. It's the Antonio. Ball and all right.

They put up with a lot from someone. The Kanye of stripping. Let her be. Let her go. Separate the stripping from the woman. Can we separate the stripping from the woman? I mean, how committed is she to the life that even her chosen weapon is a pole? I mean, she's on brand.

She's making a living by the pole. She's fighting by the pole. You live by the pole. You fight by the pole. You die by the pole. Some may consider those red flags. You know, reasons to go with another candidate for the open position sorts of things. Wait, now this article is just trying to be funny.

Yeah, it's just trying to joke around. You should bring them on as the fifth guest. Not in the stripper profession. They don't surface until it's time to terminate employment. Then a routine night turns into one where polls are flying around and police are called. That's the raw adrenaline that you need to keep you on your toes. It's like the end of a Jerry Springer episode, like his final thought from the office. Hey, we don't need these.

I mean, there should only be one poll out. Right. Poles out. Poles out? I don't know what you say. All right. We're getting out of here on this. Okay.

How old is Princess Alia Bell? You saw her. We got a good look at her. Got a nice look at her. There's definitely some hair stuff going on on her forehead. Detroit. What do you think? On the run.

I thought pretty, like that was like a bunk shot, I believe. Yeah. Not in her best night. Fair. No. And, you know, I did probably, she wasn't working. I don't know, she had full makeup on. I still thought she looked like pretty young.

Yeah. So what do you think? Pop an age in there. 20. Five. Okay. That's good. First of all, beautiful skin.

Like, no blemishes. Maybe it is makeup, but she looked fantastic. I'm going to give her all the glory to God. Yeah. Dress for the fight you want. I think this princess is 32. 32. So it's funny.

I was going to go 26 and I was going to go 31. Okay. So I'll go 20. By the way, we never go on the, what I realize is we never go on the decade. Like, no one ever says like 30. we never ever guess you want to go 30 no I'm going to go 34

okay okay one of you is two years off okay well 30 I'm going I'm switching 32 down 30 I'll go up why let's be impressed 36 uh 27 okay get your answers in we come back we're going to hear about Dan's new special Dan Mintz that is and where you can see

all of us in the near days princess alia Bell, 23 years old. All right, guys. I apologize. I apologize. We are off and running. It is Dump People Town with Dan Mints.

We're going to talk about a special on the other side of the break. Stay with us. Stick around. Make a sound. Come here down. It's Dump People Town. Okay, guys, at some point, you stop blaming stress, sleep, or just getting older. If bedroom performance is in question, it's probably crossed your mind to do something.

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Life is a journey. We know that. Some days you feel good. Other days you feel overwhelmed. whatever is keeping you up at night. And Rand, we talk about this all the time. Lots. So much is keeping us up at night. Financial fears. Financial fears. The world fears. Relationship fears. All those things. Better help therapists are fully licensed in the U.S. They go by like a strict code of conduct. You're getting like a great person. Someone that you can talk to.

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Right. And he now wears those all the time. Which, again, we play golf a ton. We're out. I mean, the button-down shirts are great. The simplicity. I got a white linen shirt that was fantastic. Daniel, tell us about the wedding you're going to.

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Stick around. Make a sound. Come here down. It's Dump the town. Hey, guys, welcome back to the show. Before we jump into Dan Mintz's new special, we should let you know that we have some really fun stuff coming up. I believe this will, of course, when we're recording this, we will have come back after this airs from our little tour down south, Mobile, Alabama, Baton Rouge, Lafayette, Lake Charles, Louisiana. Thank you to everyone who came out to those shows.

Those, I'm sure, will be and have been great. Yes. And then we got some really cool shows in June. We're doing the Venice West, which is this really cool club in L.A. on the 16th of June. Two shows. We're headlining. Like, when do we get a chance to headline in L.A.? Dan just did it at Netflix as a joke.

It is so fun. I can't wait to do an hour of comedy in L.A. I'm at this really cool music venue, 20th in Lincoln in Los Angeles. So get your tickets for that, two shows. And then literally, like, two nights later, we're going to be in, or three nights later, we're in San Francisco, the 19th, and 20th at Cobbs Comedy Club. Then we're going to be at Fort Collins at the Comedy Fort in July. And then we're going to be in a brand new comedy club, the Grand Comedy Club,

in Escondido, down just a little drive kind of near San Diego. Diego in August and then we'll be in Ann Arbor at the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase in October and we're planning some other really fun shows and be back at the flyover comedy fest all that good stuff is go to punchup. Live and that's a great way to follow us there put your email in there so we can email you and we're coming to your town all that stuff we're trying to build an email list like 25 years ago and we're trying we're coming it better late than never we'd love to collect your email so that we can let you know we're coming to you we won't do anything TV show or something Yeah, we won't do anything other than that, just letting you know when we're coming.

Beyond that, Dan Mintz, you got a new special that has, when this thing drops, has dropped. Let's talk about it. Where can people see it? Title, all sorts of fun stuff. Yes, it is. Well, depending on when this comes out, it will either be coming out or already came out. Probably already out. Already out May 20th.

So you probably already watched it. Yeah, you may have already seen several times and enjoyed it. So I'm just going to try to get you to watch it one more time. Yes. Do a fuse count? It's called Dan Mint's well-rounded entertainer, which is kind of ironic, I guess, because I'm not well-rounded.

You do sing and dance a lot in this one. I know your soft shoe is amazing. I do in this one. It's an animated special, which allowed me to actually do a bunch of other kinds of comedy that I don't normally get to do. Great. It was really fun.

Phenomenal. And you were animated how? Like, is it you or is it? Yeah, you know, the animation, it's Benobox. They did Bob's Burgers. And, you know, I did, like, you know, Tick Natara did this really funny animated comedy special. I saw that.

And hers, you know, the you actually, she actually animated, like, you see what she's talking about. Right. And the stories start to unfold. Like the shorties watching shorties or that kind of thing. And that didn't really seem right for the bunch, for one-liners that I do. So it really is just me on stage. And I really wanted, I thought it was so funny if that's all it is. Yeah.

And literally no reason's animated. And I'm like, no, that's a terrible idea. And I'm glad that they did that because I came up with a bunch of, you know, fun little jokes on jokes. Yeah. I could do. Yeah. Great.

Where is it living? And it's on YouTube. Okay, great. 20th. Awesome. And just search Dan Mintz, the name of the specialist. Well-rounded. Performer.

Entertainer. Entertainer. Entertainer. Well-rounded performer. Entertainer. Entertainer. Well-rounded entertainer. Yeah, Jay, get it wrong again.

No, no, no, get it wrong again. Well-rounded. You are you? Well-rounded entertainer. There we go. Also, how they described princess. She was a well-rounded entertain. She hits someone with a pole.

Yeah, that's also well-rounded. He attacks people with a seven-foot pole. You got to watch till the end. So the crazy thing is, and we talked about this before we got on the air, is that special comes out, and now you've got to go write a whole new hour. Yes, which takes a long time. You know, my joke. I do about three and a half jokes a minute, so that's a lot of...

It's a lot of jokes. I unfortunately don't write an amazing joke every day. It takes a little bit longer. Also, you're working on a show. So when you're on a regular show, that you have worked to do for that. It is voiceover, but yeah. It is voiceover, but it's still work. You still have to go in and do it and table reads,

and you still have to devote your creative energy a lot to that. Although, when you get that first 10, 12 minutes of the new thing, It kind of gives you hope that I will get there. You're like, it will happen. It might take three years, might take two years, but it will get there. There's no time. Like, we're not road dogs, none of us. Yeah.

We have other things that we're doing in our lives. I think two, three years is like fair. Yeah, I might be more. I mean, this is my second thing I've made in about 27 years. So I made and did an album. So, yeah, it might be about 13. 13 more years? But well worth it.

Well, well. worth it. The well-rounded entertainer, where did you record it? At Dynasty Typewriter. Oh, phenomenal. Nice. I love it. And how long did it take to animate? The actual, well, I record it. I don't even want to think about how long ago I recorded this. But the, you know, first we did a kind of like three-minute animatic and that, that took a while to do because it was figuring out the design is also kind of getting, you know, like the people that, I know the work of Bob's like that are very busy kind of waiting for, which is waiting for them to have time. And then, but once they actually hire them to like have a team to actually just focus on that, it only took about five months.

Yeah, that's the hard part is getting like the style and what you wanted to be. And then once you lock that in, it's almost like, all right, now go do the rest of it because we all agree. And is it living on your YouTube channel or is it like a collaboration with you in Bentow Box or like Bob's YouTube? It will be on my, it will be on my YouTube. I have to start a YouTube channel, I guess. Fair enough. Fair enough. I'll start one for this. And then I'm trying to then like I think other, a bunch of other things. You can collab with a bunch of other things as many as I make sense.

Yeah. At the very least. Oh, I can't wait to see it too. What are unique and interesting. May 20th. Or see it right now for when this drops. I can't wait to have seen it. Yeah.

And everyone should go listen to it right now. All right. Should we jump into story number two? Yeah. All right. Sent in by harp at Jurassic Harp. H-A-R-P-P-W-E-R-P. Welcome to Jurassic Harp.

Welcome to... Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. This is an update story from a story we never did, but it's an update of a story of a person. It's an update of a story of a person. We've been getting some updates lately. So this is an update of a story of a person of major cultural significance. Just so deep. Nope. Somebody was a major story years ago and now this is the person all grown up. Okay. I'm glad you have any. Can I sign track us for a second? Sure. And maybe it's too late because we're in the future. and in the past at the same time. But I hope everybody watched the Richard Simmons documentary that we may or may not

have been included in a part of. Like the Sclarz did the last public interview with Richard Simmons. You were there, Dan. I know, but it was yours. Dan is the man, man, man. He started singing about me.

He made a video to my mom and cried. No, he, the tears were under the surface the entire time. He started crying and then one minute later started singing gold on the ceiling. I mean, you're starting. story about, did you ever do that on stage? Like the airplane?

That was in our special. It wasn't. Okay, I thought so. But like, it's the last or one of the last public interviews. Last long interview he did. He did. Before he was, quote, taken over by his page. Do we know for sure if we are or were?

They asked us if they could use some audio. Yeah. Clear some audio. All right. Who knows? Good old Simmons. So this is a, so this is kind of like, again, a cultural person. Okay.

Who is now embroiled in something else. here's the headline. Okay. Baby Jessica. Remember who baby Jessica? Who fell down a well? Can we get, hold on, for fun. The three of us, not Randy,

unless you don't have it in front of you. Oh, I have her age. You wouldn't know. The year that she fell in. Well, but then that's going to be the age. So we're not doing that right. Oh, she was less than one? Yeah.

Oh, I didn't know. You remember for me, you'll know from the edge. I was what? Five, six? What I'm saying? I was so young to not really understand. If she was two, it would have been toddler, Jessica.

Thank you. Thank you. Fair enough. Right? So baby Jessica. We had to split baby hair. Baby hair in a woman's

terrible. What a weird opening lyrics. They love this bit. They love this bit. Baby hair with a woman's eyes. What kind of freak-ass, fine, cowlicky hair. It looks like you have alopecia. We've had babies.

Baby hair is like this super fine, like the hair of like, Whispy. That's what you want to with a woman's eyes. Baby Jessica now, and we'll get her age. That doesn't even have a comment on that. He's like, okay, I'll allow it. Do not. Baby Jessica now of a certain age, arrested following domestic disturbance in Texas.

All right, so it worked out. Midland County, Texas, Jessica McClure Morales, all's well that ends well for baby Jessica. You know well. Who became famous as baby Jessica. Jessica. I mean, that is real, to peak at that age. Let me ask this, because I've not been following the story. Did they ever get her out of the well? No. That's what's crazy. She happened in the well. She grew up in the well. She had a domestic

dispute down in that well when another baby fell down there and then they got married. It was a distance relationship. Not a long distance, but a distance. I am TiVoing the end of the baby Jessica rescue, so please don't tell me. No spoiler. Did they get her out? Also, say that last. Season two. They left it. on a cliff angle. Jessica, they left her on a well hanger. Jessica McLeodagh who became

famous as baby Jessica. Okay, first of all, that is not what made her famous. It is. She was famous as baby Jessica. She was famous as the girl in the hole, the well, whatever. Was arrested Saturday night following a

reported domestic disturbance at her home in Midland County Texas according to authorities. Deputies with the Midland County Sheriff Office respond to a residence just before I won't get the time. By the way, had she not been trapped in a well when she was a baby, this story doesn't even doesn't even make, but also

like you're kind of like she this is where she was heading. You know what I mean? This is where it was going. It's like it's too much pressure to be baby Jessica. There's a million DUIs every night, but they're not all with Reese Withersman. This is the only reason. Arrests records indicate that Morales was taken into custody

at the scene. She's been charged with assault causing bodily injury involving family violence. Let's take a picture. A Look at her picture. Do we have it? Can we throw it up? Of her? She still looks like a baby. And I'm going to call her baby, Jessica, when I see her face. McLaur-Morales. Okay. What's her new? Aaron will throw it up.

Aaron will throw it up. Jessica McClure-Morales arrest in Midland County. Officials have limited information about the incident. Midland County said it may take up to 10 days to process the request for the rest affidavit, which is expected to provide additional details about what let you fall down a well. Like really that's wondering that too. Again, I was too young to really know all the details of this story. There she is currently. She still looks like a baby.

She's in her back in the well. She needs a little more cooking. Are those tattooed eyebrows? I don't know. But she does definitely look like a child star. Do you know how you look like it? You look at child. It's a tattoo on her chest, right?

What do you think that tattoo is? Mickey Mouse, it looks like a well. Does it look like the corner of Mickey Mountain? What are your thoughts? I feel like I just saw this plot in a TV show where the woman had like a domestic violence arrest, but then they found out it was because she was like the victim and they just arrested everyone to get out of there. So maybe there's a 10 day weighed on the details. That's right.

Maybe we shouldn't jump to conclusions. We're not going to jump to conclusions. She gained international attention as an infant when she fell into an eight inch wide well at her aunt's home in Midland, an eight inch wide. I was picturing like one of those giant wishing wells. So was high. Eight inch. Eight inches is like this. It's not even a bad thing.

I'm going to go back to Jason's question because I'm too young to know all these details. You drop a baby down an eight inch well, right? How does a, how old do you think she was when she fell down the well? Two months old? What do you think? No, she wasn't two months old. She had to crawl into it. So I'm going to say.

But 18 inches. Still, eight inches. Eight inches. Eight inch. Aren't you too big? You are. You're beyond crawling size. When you're crawling, you're too big for it.

I'm going to say she was 10 months old. She was 18 months old. She became the focus of a dramatic nearly. So a little baby. Nearly 60-hour rescue effort that captivated the nation and drew global media. Like a little coal miner. Look at her. Like a little coal miner.

This is how different we are. Tiny little baby's eye for better and for worse. Everyone in the photo we saw before this and this photo of this guy, carrying this baby and I implore people to go to our YouTube and watch these videos. We put all this effort and Aaron's the best fucking tech engineer producer. Thank you, Aaron. Whiz in the world. Everyone looks pissed at this baby in these photos.

Because they all look like they've been pulled away from dinner. They're mad. Like even the guy saving her, it's like, all right, I'm like he's carrying in a bag of ice to a family gathering. He doesn't want to be yet. 18 months you should know better. Yeah. Thank you. She's talking at this point.

What do it at this point? She's walking. Grow up. She could. She's walking probably at the. grow up. By the way. Dan's there.

He's one of the people. I imagine they hand her off like the Olympic torch. And you're one of the people that it's like, you're proud of yourself? You're happy with what you did? No, let her walk. Oh, we've all ruined our day and night. She can take weird steps forward. But also, like, why is there an open well at your house and who is not watching this kid

who's going to fall down an eight-inch? It's not a clear fall. Like, we were picturing a big wishing well. Yeah. Dude, she was 22 feet underground. She remained lodged in the narrow well. Is it safe for how long? Because I don't remember how.

60 hour, 60 hour rescue. As well as emergency crews, rescue is ultimately drilled. Look at the salesmen. Look what they didn't. No. They drilled a parallel shaft and a horizontal tunnel through the rock. Aft. My favorite gentleman's club in Miami Beach.

Fuck taboo. All that's all together. The effort required a stripper pole down in the bottom. She started attacking people. Princess What's her face is stripper pole. Seven of them together. Isn't this how they got the Chilean miners? They did.

The thing about the Chilean mine. is that one of the Chilean miners, supposedly, his wife and his mistress both showed up at the mine. Is that real? There was like a moment where he was like, oh, shit, I better get back down. It was better down in there than when I'm dealing with that. And then there was another one where there was a guy

who was trying to run a marathon to stay active in the thing. What are you doing? And everyone around is like, stop kicking up dust. You're kicking up dirt. It's in my lungs. I'm glad you run a marathon. But wait, he decided he needed to get his training in? Yeah.

The effort running back and forth. This is runners. Runners are like, I can't miss my training. All right. The effort required specialized techniques including water jet cutting. I do not know what that is. Like just basically like a water pick into that. Isn't that how they cut like marble tables?

Yeah, you just shoot water at that. I guess. Water jet. After traditional equipment proved ineffective in dense terrain. And then there's the other picture of all them together. It is a delicate rescue because you can't... Family or is it? Oh, there she is.

Look at that. Look at that. What is on her? Is that like a posted note? As parents, don't let her go down a well. As parents whose kid went down a well, you can't be standing there smiling. You'd be a little bit cheapish. Also, in the- Can we get the dad further in the background?

In the 80s, I'm just going off the leg here of baby Jessica. In the 80s, did they not know how to put bandages on? What is going on? It's a tampon. tape, they just a huge tape on the forehead. It's a post-it note on the forehead. And then they don't wrap the band and they just adhere it to the side. Also like, they didn't have a splint.

They just had a deli sandwich. Literally. Medical tape. Turkey sandwich from Giali. I also love that the dad is so far in the background kind of the way he was when he wasn't paying attention to her calling into a well. I want this to be the clip. And I was just thinking about how like when you lose your baby, like it's going to be a while

before you think to check the well. The well. Right. Have you checked the well? I'm so 30. You mean the open hole in the house? Put that picture back up. One second, Aaron, would you please?

Please. How long is that guy's left arm? Oh, yeah. Snake a toilet with that thing. He could just hold her out. You got to reach down and grabbed her. You know what did? The whole time they were trying to save her, he kept tossing that out there.

But the experts were like, sir, your child, you're too close to the situation. You already screwed up with baby jazz. I'm thinking he didn't want to get his hand dirty. He was kind of trying to hide it when I was like, what are we going to use it together? Did you just mean a long thing that has feeling? And it's like, I don't know, I don't know. Like a kid hiding candy.

He's got his arm behind his back. Or a guy who's like trying to pick up a woman at a bar, but he doesn't want to show his wedding ring. He's like, yeah, so I'm just hanging out. I'm just hanging out. Do you guys think? No, that could describe his whole, like, fatherhood. He doesn't want to get his hands dirty.

Do you think that today, as we record this, before or after Dan's special, is out that there is a commemorative sign or plaque at the well right now. Do you think that there's anything indicating this is the well? Rescued in a certain year. I feel like there probably is. Yeah. All right.

So heard the toddler, during the rescue, Cruz reportedly heard the toddler singing. They are calling it a toddler. So they are calling it a toddler. So Baby just has a bit of a misnomer. But it sells more papers. She was on the cusp. And papers were a thing. A moment that underscored both tension and hopes around the operation.

Paramedic Robert. I mean, our old favorite joke about Doug Benson's old joke, that's the greatest thing. Doug Benson did an impression. He's like, I'm going to do an impression right now. We always make him do this, and it never gets the amount of laughs that he wants it to get. Or that we want. And I don't know why he falls for us asking him to do it. He literally just does it for us.

Doug Benson is like, this is about him doing an impression right now. And you got an impression? There's a girl who fell down a well and doesn't understand the gravity of the situation. I'm gonna get some candy. I love that, Jerry. Anyway. Sorry, how they found her. She's singing.

It's right. I mean, like, at least that underscored the hope of it. Right. Cecil Rescue sparked widespread celebration across the Midland and Beyond with residents recalling cheers and echoing through the city as news spread. Morales under what? We had baby Jessica. We had hands across America. This was a time in America where, like, we were doing things to reach across.

Underwent multiple surgeries following the incident. due to injury, sustained while trapped, though she has said in past interviews that she does not remember the ordeal. Yeah, she was 18 months old. How could she remember the ordeal? But it comes out in different ways, like when I'm beating up on my husband.

Yeah. So, I mean, she's in trouble right now just because of, we don't know. Maybe it was like everybody, and we're going to bring everybody in. She looks like a fighter to me. She's a fighter, and she fought to get out of that thing. We're going to get out of here on this.

How old is baby Jessica? How old is baby, Well, you said you were five when this happened. I have no idea. And you are like 60? Yeah, 62. But I, I, I'm trying to do a better seven years ago. 57 years.

I'm going to go first because I feel like I know the, I have the least gauge. Do you remember it at all? Get the year and then talk to me. Because we're probably in the same age. I mean, for me, yeah, for me, this is like the thing I learned about from the Simpsons first when they did there. Yes. Oh, this is based on a real thing.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I remember the news. We're older than you guys a little. I'm going to say she's 39. Okay. Damn.

What do you think? That sounds exactly right. Yeah. Go stick. We'll be on the same number. I'm going to say 44. Oh, that's too old. All right.

Get your answers in. This doesn't make sense, okay? The way it's written right here, which I can't. In the headline, it said how old she was. Yeah. But then they talk about. about the year that she was rescued. Which would be a year and a half after she was born.

Right. 18 months after. No, she fell down a year and a half after she was born. We don't know how long it took. Oh, 60 days. 60 hours. Oh, that's right. So it does make sense.

It does make sense. Because how old she is right now. Yeah, she wasn't like, it wasn't when she was born. Right. I can't even say this because two of you are one year off. Yeah. She's 41? She's 40 years old.

40? 40 years old. Baby Jessica is now 40 years old. And hey, Judd Apatow, throw the picture back up there of her. That's 40? This is 40. She has an expression that says, did you take it yet? She has an expression that says, I wish I had Princess Ali's skin.

Love the bank. She's beautiful. So that's it. All right. There you go. Story number two, down the boats. Give us a little taste of what we're going to get in story three, Dan. The worst Red Bull commercial ever.

I can't wait. And when we come back, we'll find out how you can see Dan live and follow him and all of his stuff. Daniel Van Kirk will be right back with Dan Mintz. His new special is well-rounded entertainer. It's on his performer. Well-rounded entertainer on his YouTube page. And it's animated. Really cool.

Watch it. You will love it. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound. Come you down. It's dumb people town. Hey, gang, welcome back to the show.

Daniel, before you jump into this final story, please let the good folks here know where they can see it. Go to Daniel vancurk.com. also listen to my, I think it's in a way, it doesn't really have the dumb stories, but it's a fun, easy listen just like this show, the midnight air that drops every single week right here on all things comedy. It's a fun little show. And then as far as live dates, I will be at the comedy cabin in Janesville, Wisconsin in June. I believe that's the 19th and the 20th. Actually, I know for a fact it is. And then the very next weekend, I'll be in Baltimore and in D.C. And then in July, I will be in Austin at Cap City Comedy Club. I'll be in. in Chicago for my Hub City Comedy Week, the 15th through the 18th. I get to live in Chicago for a week and do shows every single night and you need to come to them.

They're all different. They're all fun. Best comics in Chicago, join me on all of those shows. It's really cool. It's so much fun. And then I'll be at the Thrasher Opera House in Green Lake, Wisconsin, in July.

And then I have dates in October, like in Cincinnati. Sounds awesome. Even in September and in October. Everything's at Daniel van kirk.com. Let's jump. You ready for a dumb little story? Let's do it.

Okay. This was sent in by Adam Poulton at Pultzki 75. Love him. deputies arrest woman in stolen Red Bull truck at Tampa gas station, deputies say. Is it that thing where the can is like top of the truck? So that like the Mini Cooper with a can on it. That's just like promos. You guys are at Warp 2 or do you want a whole bunch of free Red Bull? Yeah. No, this is a full on truck. A Red Bull truck. Yes. Is it weird that, I mean, I know people drink Red Bull. I know people drink all the time. I do not. I do not either. Are you a coffee? I love.

coffee. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why. What's the, but like, there's a new one called like Celsius. Oh, yeah.

Celseus. I love those. People love those. People drink Celsius. People drink Celsius. I'm in it just gets them, you know, but I don't know.

It just is like, Red Bull is just like, Celsius is like cocaine light. Yeah, it is. Can I have some cocaine light? Now, I'm a Lonnie guy, if they ever want to send me any.

I hosted a couple of Red Bull, uh, like their downhill races events. Yeah. So much fun. Oh, yeah. Did they give you a baseball? By the way,

They are doing as far as like... Just fun stuff in our culture. Daredevil stuff. My old neighbor Phil is like who used to do Fred Rogan's sports heroes or whatever. He used to walk around my neighborhood in Laurel Canyon and I loved him because he would talk to everyone and he knew everyone. I saw him recently and I'm like, I'm so happy you're still alive. And he's like, should I take that a weird way? And I'm like, you just didn't seem like an unhelp thing ago.

And he... How much Red Bull you drink? No, he produces all these Red Bulls specials. I know. So he did the one where the guy jumped out of the balloon. Did you ever see that where he took a hydrogen room of space? Yeah, I remember that. Then he sky dove from space.

Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. And they do a bunch of other really crazy. All the really cool things you see, daredevil stuff is red. Yes. Yeah. The coolest stuff on the TV at a bar is a Red Bull.

It's the new Evil Caneval. Yes. It's kind of like if Red Bull was around when Evil Caneval was alive. They would sponsor every one of his jumps. Yeah, he'd still be alive. He would still be if Red Bull was alive about that. Didn't he cut off his own finger. who told that Blaine Capatch told that story

As a stunt? No, he just Outside of the Caesar's fountain He just cut his finger off for anybody to watch He got into a fight at a casino And they told him he couldn't come in there So he came back to spite them And with a shovel cut off his own figure

That's something about that story Blaine Capatch will tell us that story Well, a woman was arrested in Tampa on Wednesday after she stole a Red Bull truck And led deputies on a chase Across multiple counties There's a video that That's the truck!

What do you decide? What do you think you're getting with that? Just all the Red Bull you can drink? Yeah. I guess so. I mean, yeah, you're not going to be able to, like, sell the truck to a random person. No, no.

Just parking lot, Red Bull. Who wants a skate park? Who wants some more? Red Bull. The Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office posted a video on Friday showing a stolen Red Bull truck driven by Nicole Shular, headed east on I-4 toward Lakeland. How do S-C-H-U-W-E-H-H-U-

Y L-E-R. There's no Y. No. S-C-H-U-L-A-R. Shular. School-R. An aviation unit, that's where things are at in Florida. We have an entire unit that's just...

We'll bomb the crap out of this person. The Red Bull truck unit. Yeah, exactly. Stolen Red Bull. What part of the police do you are, for stolen Red Bull truck? It's got to get stolen. They tracked... Yeah, we do ambulances too, but really it's a lot of Red Bull. It's mostly Red Bull.

They tracked Shular to a gas station on East Martin Luther King Junior Boulevard in Tampa where she was attempting to make a delivery. Steal for the job you want. Dude, not like I made every single delivery on that list. What level is, does she get her? She's an audition for her. Her boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever delivers for Red Bull. They got into an argument about how I could do your job.

Oh my God. This is an unbelievable storyline, Dan. I did not even think about that. Or she just sees, she sees like a guy kind of doing a. half a job of trying to, you want to buy Red Bull for your convenience store? And she's like, I can do this. I could do that. Yes. She has a weird

put some pep in your step boy. Upward mobility falling down moment. It's like that Michael Douglas. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. Let me get, give it to me. No, but what's funny is it's like someone watching a comedian being like, I'm funny. I could do it. People tell me I'm at the office. I'm funny. I'm always like there's two

steps up to the stage. But those two steps take 10 years to figure out. It's like the documentary 20 feet from start-up. Wow. Body camera video shows a deputy entering the business. Is that profound? Wow.

And arresting Shular. H-C-S-O. There she is right there, said the Polk County Sheriff's Office in the Lakeland Police Department. Here's something that most delivery people don't do. Bring their purse. I know. She's so casual.

I really have to know the motivation. Look at how calm she is. But can I say, I don't know if she has a delivery route map or not? No. But if she randomly picked this convenience store gas station, I guarantee this place sells a shit ton of Red Bull. Oh, yeah. And she was like, hey, can you instead of like paying the... I know you normally pay it.

Just pay me. Pay me. I'll get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's her scheme. Dumb little fun story, but we'll get out of here on this. How old is Nicole Shular? The woman who said to herself, I got nothing to do today.

She strikes me as a woman who drinks Red Bull in the morning and one at night before me. To cool down. She looks very young to. I mean, you know, it's not the clearest picture, most high-definition picture, but. What are you feeling? What do you feel? What do you feel? What do you feel?

What do you feel? Twenty-three? Okay. She's young. I agree, man. 27. 27? I have one bowl in the morning.

I'm going to say she's 25. 25? Yep. Go watch. Well-rounded entertainer. Damn. It's special. Animated, beautiful, different.

You haven't seen it before. see it. Go see the Sclar's come see me. We will end this episode by me telling you that Nicole Shular is, she's gonna be happy when she hears this from you guys. 33 years ago. Oh, she looks good.

Being on the run suits her. Yeah. It's good for your skin. It is good for her skin. That's it, my friends. There you go. That is a story. That is a show. We love you guys. Thank you for supporting us. Tell people about this show. Watch it on YouTube because the pictures are so fun. And oh snap, we got to get back to work.