Dumb People Town - Dana Gould - Geechy's Teeth

Episode Date: February 25, 2025

Comedian, writer, and podcast Dana Gould (Perfectly Normal) stops by as Jason describes how owning a Cybertruck has cost one roofer his customers, Randy explains why a woman was arrested for throwing a "First Date" brick through her ex's window, and Daniel warns against pretending to be a DEA agent to get fast food discounts, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsor: Chewy! Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. And right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to Chewy.com/DPT.

Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware they lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose. We'll make the news breaking down each epic fail. In Florida there's half price bail. I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast band with co-hosts Arm and Dan. Members don't be a jerk. Spread the music.

There's the funny hits and the funny jokes. And we'll see you next time. Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye!

Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Hey guys, to keep them happy, Chewy has over 100,000 products from all the brands our pets love. I know. At the prices we love. Food, treats, beds, you name it, they have it all. Get it shipped directly to your door in one to two days and not just for dogs and cats, but fish, reptiles, and more.

Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. Like I said, I know I use Chewy. And right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping. go to chewy.com Slash DPT that's chewy.com slash DPT to save $20 on your first order with free shipping chewy.com Slash DPT minimum purchase required new customers only terms and conditions apply see site for complete details Hey Taddy's welcome to another episode of dumb people town

population you Hey, Tatties, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population, you. Population, Gould. Dana Effing Gould. Hi, buddy. America's sweetheart. Hey, man, how are you? So good to have you here, my goddamn neighbor. One of the greatest people to ever do it,

and today is his last day in the industry. I am, he is leaving. You know, every day is my last day in the industry. Every day feels like my life it certainly does I'm so happy you're here. You have a new special out that we'll talk about later It is so funny every clip I see I lose my mind because it is standard that we've seen you working on but let we'll get To it later. We've got dumb to deal with Dana. Is there any dumb in this country? This was sent in this story sent in to me

by Brew Pounder at Brew Pounder. Love a good Brew Pounder. Same. Wasn't, she was on the shield. CCH Brew Pounder. Of Dr. and Mrs. Brew Pounder? Damn it, touch. Dr. Brew Pounder.

All right, here we go. Here's the head. Also a Boston, I mean I know you're from Boston. Brew Pounder. Brew Pounder. Brew Pounder. All right, here we go. Here's the heads. Also a Boston, I mean I know you're from Boston. Brew a pound of. Brew a pound of. All right, here we go. A Tesla Cybertruck owner says. Uh-uh.

He lost. Okay, that's it, that's it. Just says anything. Shut up. In response to me, shut the F out. A Tesla Cybertruck owner says he lost, and I'm not gonna tell you how much money, because we'll guess later,

in business deals because he drives a Cybertruck. Ads. That is not the reason. This is the headline. Ads. This is the headline. Ads, this is all in the headline. Quote, I'm in a dilemma. I'm losing a lot of customers, but I love my cyber. Well, you gotta choose one.

It's a Sophie's choice. You don't have a problem. You made a decision. That's the thing. It's like, you can't say anything. You can't do anything. No, you can say anything. You can say anything and you can do anything.

But you have to deal with the consequences. Or if you work at a company. It's the Warhol quote, you have to be good enough to get away with it. Which is, yeah, and Justin, they quoted that too. Can you get away with the things? Yeah, the art is in the way that you get people to allow you to do it.

Who go, oh, I shouldn't be laughing at that, but it's funny, versus like, I'm not gonna laugh at that because it's obvious there's no joke there. You really feel that way. It's me. Wait, read that sentence again. The one that he says or the...

I'm ads, I'm in a dilemma, I'm losing a lot of customers, but I love my Cybertruck. That sounds like the worst title for a young adult novel. I'm in a dilemma, I'm losing a lot of customers, but I love my Cybertruck. Or a Morgan Waller song. Morgan Waller. Don't ever correct. Is it Wallen?

Who cares? I love Waller. Waller? It is. You know, you watch like a terrible movie and you think, how did they look at this and go, yep, it's good to go? Right. Is this the headline? Bye. Same with the Cybertrucks. It's just like, they looked at this and go, yep, it's good to go. Right. Is this the headline? Bye. Same with the Cybertrucks. It's just like, they looked at that and went, nope, it's done, don't change anything.

Who did this? Yeah. And then a six-year-old raises his hand. All right. The Jawa transport. That's what people want. That's what they want. By the way, I've been getting so many

across our social media feed, people's homemade cyber trucks, but online, small. Like someone in like a little moped with a cyber truck thing out of it. And it's like, I mean, it's funny. It is funny when you put Mexican music on your TV. It's just fun.

It's a funny. It's a funny. It's a funny. It's a funny. It's a funny. It's a funny. It makes me laugh every time. It's funny, okay.

Yoni Meneker is the owner of Blue Angel Roofing in Atlanta and he says he's living on a- Not to be confused with Blue Angel Roofies, which is a pharmaceutical company. Which are roofies, the Blue Angels who do flying shows. Exactly. When they meet women, they give them up. All right, here we go.

Have a BAR. Who'd you call to take care of your roof? BAR also called to take care of, oh, here we go. He's losing a lot of customers because he drives a Cybertruck. He only shares that his company's page is flooded with negative reviews and ads that he's lost. Let's guess now, how much money is he losing? According to him. Roofing money.

Has he lost only in last month? Okay, in last month. In deals. I mean mean we were ever a job is around 10k I just have a number yeah 40 grand 40 grand I would say he's lost five customers I'll call it 50 so my friend just had to have his roof redone just cuz of all the weather and and when blew it off it was like 25k now that might just be an LA thing but I think it's probably needs to do it. I think he's saying he's lost $100,000. This guy is, he's, you know, yeah, deals.

But also can we, we all know, I'm sure the Cybertruck isn't helping, but it's that age where like, do you become a dick when you buy a Mustang, or does the Mustang make you a dick? And so like- I'm ready to get a Mustang. So, right, I'm talking new, not great older. Or I'm not even talking Mach, I'm just talking a Mustang. You want to get a mustache right? Well, I don't know not not great. Oh, but or I'm not even talking mock

I'm just talking You want the electric on right? You're on the mock. Those are great But my thing is is like he was the person he has been right and when you do roofing it all comes down to Reviews and referrals and stuff like that. So also like who cares who was due to lose a lot of money I'm guessing and you don't want you don't want those clients like who cares who you are as a roofer Are you gonna? Are you gonna roof his house in a race? I had a drug they flew a drone over my house and Someone flew a drone my insurance company and they were like, oh, there's some patches under your roof You're no longer insured by our company for our home. Oh shit. Yeah, that's what they're starting to do

And so because of some rain, some gravel had fallen off, so we had to go call roofers and bring them over. And my wife caught the guy who was out running the drone. She walked outside, she's like, what are you doing? The guy collected his drone and just left. Didn't tell her what he was doing. Why wouldn't he just say, he's like, this is how we assess roofs now?

Because she came at him. I know, but I'm saying from his point of view, to go like, oh, this is way better than safer way to a way better to say and then she saw that he gets into a cyber 50 50 140 $70,000 okay, we were all around it a little bit, but he's also overestimated well probably so and he can afford a cyber truck right? Yeah, which is a hundred thousand all your cyber truck. You just lost a hundred thousand dollars in deals and getting a car All right, you only says the customers you terminated the roofing contract Right. Yeah. Which is $100,000. Sell your Cybertruck, bro. So you just lost $100,000 in deals in getting a car.

All right, Yoni says the customers who terminated the roofing contract specifically told him that the issue was that he drove a Cybertruck. I think that's funny to me. I mean, look, I never want to have someone who's- You're a great roofer, but I don't like your truck. I love everything you do, but just, so like- But you have an entire bit about getting judged

on the car that you're in, right? I do, yes. So like, you know, if he won this in a raffle, and he's like, all right, I'll take it now. What did you have, a Camaro? So I had to, this was an old bit that I... What was the bit? The bit was I was at Patton's house at a party

and I bit down on a date, and there was a pit in there that I didn't realize, and it cracked my tooth down to the root. You said bit down on a date and for a second I thought a woman you were dating. Bit down on a date. More of almost a date. Right.

Army hammers on the shelf. Yeah. Whoops. Yeah, finger foods. And so I bit down on a date, cracked my tooth to the root and I had to remove it. So I was missing a tooth like right here and that same week,

Amy was driving down our narrow street and knocked the mirror off of our Prius and I had to go get a rental car and the only thing they had was a white Camaro convertible. But did you see black American but it didn't have a cup holder, no cup holder and I had the coffee between my legs that I was driving and I just I didn't realize how powerful this car was took a thing spilled it all over my shirt literally all over the white t-shirt I had so it looked just disgusting covered in over my shirt, literally all over the white t-shirt I had. So it looked just disgusting.

Covered in coffee. Took my shirt off and I was like, okay now I'm driving a, and I didn't know how to get the top up on the convertible. So I'm a shirtless, toothless guy driving a Camaro around. You felt judged. I did.

I was like, you know who I am. So then the joke is that I would become the most liberal redneck ever. Luffing redneck. It's, you know, it's the, I'm assuming that everybody who owns a Cybertruck just has like a photo of their old Humvee. Well, it is the same family.

Yeah, it's the same, and they're making electric Hummers, too, you know that, right? Okay, here we go. Clearly, Yoni doesn't want his car. I had an electric Hummer, I'd never leave the house. Hello! Got a great show tonight, folks. Hey.

Peaches and Herber here. Are they both? Are they together? Are they both alive? Clearly, Yoni doesn't want his company to suffer. He says he's in a dilemma, because he also loves his Cybertruck and doesn't want to let it go.

Well, so drive a different car to the job site. If you lost 70,000 in deals, drive a different. Here's what I would say. I'd go get a Dodge. Spend $20,000 on a used Ford F-150. That's it. Drive that. Make that your work truck.

Drive your cyber truck around town. Don't show up at a job site in a cyber truck. I also don't believe anyone loves their cyber truck. You can't love. I don't think that they're, I don't. Have any of us been in one? None of us have been. Have you ridden one?

I think they don't want to admit they bought a terrible VFU ride with you. Or, you know, I also think like, there's no way people are seeing this guy around town not driving to a work, if someone pulled up in a cyber truck and they were gonna do my roof, I'd be like, this person does not make good decisions.

So it's really about his decision making and not about. Or they're making too much money. Or they're charging too much. Charging too much. I mean, I remember in the, was it the mid 90s? If you can afford a cyber truck, you're overcharging. But I remember the mid 90s when the Escalade truck came out. Sure, yeah.

And I was like, being from a small farm town in Illinois, I was always like, who the hell is this for? Nobody wants you to throw anything back there. This is the next, like if somebody pulled up in a Cybertruck, I'd be like, so you own the business but you don't do any work. Yeah, because you can't fit anything in the bed of that truck because it has a roof. There's no tool thing that gets locked in on the side. Nobody's going to be like, oh, just throw all that gravel in my side.

By the way, trucks today are like incredible. Like they have compartments that you can lock that are all built in. The F-150 Lightning. If someone showed up in a Rivian, now that's an electric truck, flatbed truck. Yeah, but that feels a little bit more bad. I mean, would that upset people?

Would that make them as mad as this? So how much of this is about Elon Musk? I think a lot of it has to do with Elon Musk in a city like Atlanta. Here we go. The conflicted Cybertruck owner shared his story on Cybertruck owners only. That's another problem.

Cybertruck owners only? Is that like FarmersOnly.com? Here's what he wrote. I have a dilemma. I have started to lose customers because I drive a Cybertruck. I also received some bad reviews in the past and I'm not sure what to do.

I love this truck and it's the best truck I've ever had. Can he write, like he writes the shortest sentences ever. But last month we lost around 70K in deals and the customer said it was because I drove a Cybertruck. Any suggestions? I'm in Atlanta. He's the Hemingway of Cybertruckers. I mean, if this guy literally can't figure out how to recoup business or prevent losing it

based on this very A plus B problem, his business is doomed anyway. He threw in, I got some bad reviews, he just threw in. I've got the bad reviews, I don't know if that has to do with cybernetic. I mean, one of them was, a bunch of them were from eight years ago about my roofing, but still.

No, but it is one of those things where you're, if your kid is ever eating something and they're like, I feel sick, and you're like, well take the candy out of your mouth, like stop eating the thing. And they're like, but I don't want to. I like, yeah, but that's what's making you sick. You had five pieces of pizza, don't, take the piece that's in your hand

and take it out of your mouth. Now you're queuing me up to tell one of my many Geechee Guy stories. Oh! Here we go! Geechee Guy. For those who don't know, the Geechee Guy was a Star Search phenomenon comedian.

Really, that's where he... Yes. He was kind of like came up in the time of, like I would say, Emo Phillips. Yeah, it was the mid-80s. What's your character? It was like, because of, it started with Steven Wright, who is not a character. No, that's Steven Wright.

But everybody was like, and then you get like Dr. Don. Like everybody, you know. And even Dice. Like it was a, yeah. You got Dice, you got, yeah. Some good comedians came out of that. Yes. Emo, Judy Tanuta, Bob dice like it was a dice. Yeah Some good comedians came out of that. Yes emo Judy Tanuta Bobcat Yeah, a lot of like Pete Panther man

One of those guys right driving to what's the name? Guy any guy if you told me this was a modern day like huge hip-hop rapper sure she guy Yes, got Letterman He did let you got letter me got letterman and they said but Dave won't say Geechie guy We need your regular name and you want it's Geechie guy. I'm not gonna do and he didn't do letter What it's commitment to the bit stood on principle. Yeah. Yeah, that's how those Dave wouldn't say it I mean, I don't know the person that we're talking about, but it's Kichi Gai, isn't it?

He would say Bob Goldthwait, he wouldn't say him. Oh really? I didn't know that either. Okay, sorry, sorry sir. But also who cares? No one's gonna remember how you're introduced. What a dumb hill to die on. Yeah, oh yeah.

Like for real, and literally die. But here's the story. So to what you were talking about, the candy. We had a gig in Reno, Nevada, and in San Francisco. We were both in San Francisco, and I go to pick him up to drive him. And he's, Geechee's teeth were Jurassic. Geechee's teeth is like the name of a Steely Dan album

that we've never. Geechee's teeth. But it's great. Geechee's teeth. Somebody write that down. Steely Dan album that we've never His smile looked like the skyline of Dresden the morning after the bomb If you look closely at his teeth You know you could see Kurt Vonnegut walking around scratching his head right it's like the site from 9-eleven after it happened. Yeah. Yeah, just smoking smoking wreckage and debris

And he's got a bag of candy like those crab fudgies and stuff and he's literally going Hurts my teeth, I'm like, stop eating it. Stop eating it. I can't. Oh, oh, oh. Oh. And oddly, he died. He died, he did die. And I think he died from like, sugar. Candy inundation. It's so like he did not take good care of himself.

No. Oh, God, you were watching it happen in real time. He geeked. All right. Below his post. Geeked. Geeked his teeth. Geeked his teeth.

Throw out your geeky teeth and see how they roll. Below his post. Gitches teeth. Throw out your Gitche teeth and see how they roll. Yoni shared a screenshot of a review left on his company page. It says Blue Angel Roofing, and the reviewer goes on to write, I'm just going to say if a roofing company has a Cybertruck, maybe reconsider using them as your roofing. Okay, so I think, but we don't know why.

Like, is it because they charge too much and all that other. Their reviewer also added a picture of Yoni's Cybertruck maybe reconsider using them as your roof. Okay, so I think, but we don't know why. Is it because they charge too much and all that other stuff? Their reviewer also added a picture of Yoni Cybertruck showing the Blue Ages roofing logo plastered all over it. So he's using it for advertising as well. That might be it too. It's also annoying to look at. Right, this suggestion is that Yoni is driving a Cybertruck not only for personal use, but also as a work truck,

taking it to his roofing site. It appears that some people were so unhappy that the roofing company used it as a Cybertruck, taking it to his roofing site. It appears that some people were so unhappy that roofing company use of a Cybertruck, they decided to go with another company. So this is a surprising turn of events. When Cybertruck started deliveries back in 2023, businesses were excited to use their logos on them. They were saying this is a common thing.

Right, it was one of those things where there's a lot of surface area. It's basically like a metal wall. Yeah, it's just nine flat panels. Right, right. Exactly. That's right, however, fast forward a little more than a year and the Cybertruck has become

a very divisive vehicle because Elon Musk is divisive. Yeah, because it chose to have a political alignment. Correct, that's it. Had he not put his foot in the ring so hardcore, half of this country wouldn't be like, F that truck. No one would think anything of it. I think people would think it looks stupid. People would think it looks stupid, but I don't think they would be like,

I don't wanna do business with that. It wouldn't be as charged. Some Cybertruck owners such as Zach from JerryRigEverything's YouTube channel. Not Zach. You know Zach from JerryRigEverything's YouTube channel. How do they get that YouTube channel up? I don't know.

They bought a Cybertruck as an advertising billboard. Now Zach says he'll be using, he'll be selling not only a Cybertruck, but all of his Tesla products before the end of the year. Okay. Zach is? You know, Mrs. Gould bought a Tesla. Okay.

And now doesn't want to, because it's just. It happens. Affiliation. Yeah. Yeah. But they've been driven so down in value. That they're actually a good deal now.

But she's underwater on it. Right, so I'm leasing one right now, and I'm like, I just don't want the trouble of, you know, it's like, actually it's a great car, but I'm like, I don't want even the trouble. But yeah, like it's now not worth as much as she owes on it. Crazy. God damn, Elon Musk Musk loyal to roofing.

She should. We'll argue that they're- She's full of roofies. I don't think she married me. Blue angel. They're blue in the face that Musk, I don't know why they said that, is not harming Tesla's brand.

However, based on experience of Tesla's Cybertruck owners in the real world, that argument is becoming increasingly difficult to make. In the past few days, we've covered the story of a Cybertruck owner who says he was punched in the face simply for driving a Cybertruck. Well. I hope that's not true.

I feel like it isn't true. You feel like it is true or it isn't? It is not. You don't think so? I hope it's not true, and I feel like that's not the reason he got punched in the face. We can swear on this. Yeah, of course.

I did see a video of somebody, I mean, it looked real. Sure. Of a guy, a guy was in a Cybertruck, it was parked, and he was on the phone, and the guy snuck up filming himself spray painting the dick and balls on the other side of the truck and took off. And left. That's the problem with too much surface area.

Yeah. You got so much, so you're inviting it to happen. After this incident, the Cybertruck owner says, oh, this is kind of interesting. I did read the article on this. It's not, it's, this guy says he was punched in the face for having the Cybertruck, which not cool. And then he was like, I was like, okay, well maybe that's not fair.

I feel bad for you. Then he says, now he leaves a dollar on the dash, or on the windshield of every Cybertruck owner just to spread love to Cybertruck owners because he got hate. And then in the story he was like, yeah I got punched in the face by some Mexican dude. And I was like, well maybe just by a man.

But he was all, he said I'm also Mexican. And you just cut to him and he's wearing like a fuck Mexicans t-shirt. Yeah I parked my Cybertruck. What's wrong with that? Why would a Mexican? I leave a dollar in pennies, round them up was all I had on my shirt in Spanish.

Why is that? I leave a dollar in coins. Another. A little windshield of every. Another retired Cybertruck owner said that a guy with a lifted Ford F-150, guy with a lifted Ford F-350, came at him, F-350, came at him with his fist bald

and ready to fight simply because of his Cybertruck. The owner of a golden Cybertruck also shared that he, his wife and his children face constant hostility because they drive a Cybertruck. I think it's because it's gold. Yeah, I think it's because you drive a giant dildo. Right, right. Giving someone a golden Cybertruck is a...

That should be a sexual move. Yeah. Like pooping on their... Just being in their bed. A golden Cybertruck actually is a sexual move. It is a sexual move. Adds that because of the harassment, his wife now refuses to drive the Cybertruck altogether.

Yeah. She will not drive it. So she's a sensible lady. And the pain and anguish that that causes in his relationship. You don't need the trouble. Overall, it's interesting to see all the challenges cyber truck owners are facing in the real world. Please let me know what you think in the comments.

And then a bunch of people added all their thoughts in this thing. But look, I don't know how I feel about this guy. I don't know if I feel bad for him, but I think that maybe just get a new truck for work. Especially, again, you do so many things for your job to make your business better. I'm sure you advertise, you do all these other things.

This is another thing you have to do to make your business better. Are you nice to clients? Do you follow up with phone calls and stuff? Why would you want it? Like as comedians, if we were like, I'm, Randy and I were like, we're just gonna, at the beginning of every act,

just say the N word like 80 times. And then we'll be like, I don't understand why people aren't our comedies great our commies great Why are people leaving our shows early? I love saying that though, so we're not gonna actually get a giant new audience You know might not want them great but well, I'm just gonna say it's so odd I did this just happened to me last week I Posted on threads a mild rebuke of Chuck Schumer who I because I want him to do better, right and

You know when when when King Kong is on top of the Empire State Building you get a plane and you shoot him down It's that is not the time for, we're disappointed in God's decision to climb the building. Within an hour, like two hours, my Facebook, because it's all the same thing, was full of these suggested reels based on your activity. All communist, all Democrats are communist. You know, it's like, we noticed you made a mild joke

about Chuck Schumer. Would you like to commemorate January 6th with this canister of freedom maze? And now you drive a cyber truck. It's amazing. No, but it's so true. The point is that they have a business of like, filling people with hatred and anger and vitriol right is

their business that's right, it's not healthy and a lot of these people that are so jacked up in. They've been fed. Yeah all of this time. Yeah, so I would also there's just yeah, there's no everything is immediately a 1000% we noticed you bought frozen berries would you like to surgically become a bear? That's it, no. I bought a fucking berry.

No, no, no. That's it. Are you a risk? Or you have a conversation about something. This is when I get freaked out. When we're like hanging with Fred. Oh, and it shows up on your face. And then it shows up on your feed.

Yeah, that's creepy. We're having a conversation about like, God damn, I would love to see Steely Dan in concert. And then all of a sudden in my feed. Yeah, no, that's it's like they're coming in there or this is commemorative. I'm like, how do you know? So this is what I'll wrap this up.

Well, then we'll take a break. We'll come back and talk about Dana special is that I personally, after hearing this whole story, I'm like, you should be able to drive your cyber truck. There's a free country. You should be able to drive it and you can drive it. and if you love it, then God bless you and go drive it That's your choice. Like I just said I would go from getting a Tesla to a Ford So I went from one anti-semite to one of the greatest anti-semites of all time

So like it everybody runs every company as a piece of shit. That's just the way it goes. That's how it goes So there is no slippery slope. He should be able to, but if you run a business, you have to know what is out in the world. So you can't complain about it. It was what I'm saying. It's a bummer, but you can't complain about it. I wish it were different.

Get a Ford F-150. Cool sign. Let's take a break. We'll come back, talk about dancing. I have a great little story. So. Talk about dancing, I have a great little story. So, we're gonna pick one. Day to go. Stick around, make a sound, there's more to people's town. Guys, if you're a pet parent like me,

then you know about Chewy, and when they say they have everything to keep your pet happy and healthy, they're not messing around, Dan. No, to keep your pets healthy, Chewy has over 100,000 products from all the brands that your pets do love love and prices that you're gonna love too. Food, treats, beds, you name it, they have it,

and it gets shipped directly to your door in one to two days, not just for dogs and cats, birds, fish, reptiles, more. And also, you love this, Chewy's auto-ship feature. You don't ever get that, your dog looking at you being like, you know how you look at your dog, and you're like, I'm disappointed by you and I need you to know this? That's when they do that to you.

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One less thing that you have to worry about, just keep loving your pet. I can tell you from personal experience, we do the auto ship for the food. It comes and it's like one less thing I have to worry about. It is perfect. I just found two, Amy and I just found two nylon bones

for our two dogs that we got from Chewy and I forgot where they were and we cleaned out the garage and we found them. They're the happiest. It's like, we just get, and it's so funny because one is Ziggy's color and one is Ponyo's color and they both like the opposite. The opposite one.

But when they're laying down and they're just crunching and you hear the sound of the crunching of the boat. It's pure happiness and I say thank you, Chewy. Thank you for making my pet so happy. All right, so Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. And right now you can save 20 bucks on your first order and get free shipping by going to chewy.com slash dpt.

That's chewy.com slash dpt to save $20 on your first order with free shipping. Chewy.com slash DPT minimum purchase required new customers only terms and conditions apply. Hey guys welcome back to the show. Dana Gould is with us. Before we get into Dana's special, which I'm very excited about, Jay, we should let people know where we're gonna be. All this said, we have a lot of touring

and great stuff coming up in the month of March and the month of April. You wanna do it, or do you want me to? Sure, we're gonna be in Aspen, Colorado, for what I believe to be the Aspen Comedy Festival. I think it is. I think it's happening, and I don't know. We're at the Wheeler Opera House.

Remember that place? Oh, good for you, yeah, yeah. I love the Wheeler Opera House. So that's where they're on March 12th, then the 13th through the 15th we're in Detroit. Mark Rilley's Comedy Castle, it's a giant room. Let's fill it with our people. It's so much fun. We had a really good week last year there.

I wanna kinda duplicate that. A week later we're in Minneapolis at Acme Comedy Club, just one of the best. One of my favorites. One of our favorites. Two weeks later we're at Comedy Works in Denver, the South Club, which we really love. We've been done a little theater.

It's incredible. April 3rd through the 5th, and then we're going to the Moon Tower, which Dana will be at as well, which we'll see you all in and hang out for that. And we always go get a coffee together, right? We get a coffee. I believe Dr. Z is gonna be at the time.

Fantastic. Maybe Dr. Z will do a Tag It, if it's possible. No, we don't wanna make him put it on. I'll talk to him. You talk to Dr. Z. He's very busy. I know If it's possible. I'll talk to him. You talk to Dr. Z. He's very busy. I know he's very busy. We'll figure that out. So all that is at supersclarities.com.

He's also doing, I know but he's down there, he's also doing 12 Angry Men with Jamie Farr and the Globetrotters. Oh, and it's animated, right? Live action animated. So all that stuff plus Tagits every month, which you did tag it up at Moon Tower and it was just a blast of a blast.

So fun, so fun. So I know we have one on April 23rd I believe. March 6th. April 23rd and beyond. So all right, shall we jump? Oh wait, before we get into Dana. So the new special is so funny. Every clip I see I am loving.

The, the. Looks beautiful, where'd you shoot it? Shout out to Dynasty Typewriter. Amazing. Looks amazing. Beautiful. Yeah loving the looks beautiful. Where'd you shoot it? Shout out to Dynasty typewriter. I mean looks amazing Beautiful. Yeah, it looks great. I was produced by Jack Vaughn directed by Charlie Fonville who also worked on Joyride with me and Bobcat which I love that special too I recently watched that I thought you guys were Incredible together. I loved immediately how your

Your two personas on stage, not to guys. So I would say go back and watch that one. Everybody joyride was so fun where they can watch it. Where? Uh, where did I see it? Amazon, Amazon, whatever. Yeah. Okay. It was great. And, but anyway, so let's talk about this special material that you've been collecting in the last what? Two years? Yeah. Two years. Amazing. I, it's again, I agree with Jay, such good stuff. Texas Chainsaw and you're like, what?

Yeah, well, the joke is, Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a great title. Great title. But after Texas and Chainsaw, it kinda writes itself. Right, what else could it be? Yeah, it's like, you know, Texas Chainsaw Bake Off. No one's gonna know. No one's gonna know. No, that's what I was gonna say.

Texas chainsaw do-si-do. Not so good. Not. But that's because that's one of those things. Texas, you put it in front of something and it sounds Omniscient. Omniscient. Yeah, aggressive. And the same way that if you put Tennessee

in front of anything, it becomes a sex move. Right, the Tennessee two-step. Yeah, went home, went home, saw the wife, tried a Tennessee car wash. Hang on a second. She allowed that to happen. No she didn't, I didn't warn her. Now I'm staying with my brother. Staying with my brother for a couple days

is my favorite line in that bit. All right, it's unbelievable. I love that I didn't hear that in there. Unbelievable special, watch it, watch it. Name of the special is? Perfectly Normal. Perfectly Normal, and where can people catch it? It's on YouTube now. YouTube, all right.

Let's get the views up, people. This is how people keep making specials and make money on them these days. This is what it is. I love it. Perfectly Normal, Dana Gould will keep pushing it throughout the show. I've got another dumb story.

Let's do it, let's get into it. All right, this is sent in by Robert Goulet, burner account, thank you. At the real C Hayes 9. Okay, so you ready? And a woman, and we're gonna guess her age later, arrested after police say she threw quote, first date brick through ex-husband's window.

First date brick. First date brick. So she was on a first date with someone else? And threw a brick through her ex-husband's window. Oh well, at least she's not, no more, Can we stop here before we go to the restaurant? I just need to do something really quick. A woman is, isn't there a term called bricked up, Dan?

Yeah, it just means you have a heart on. Do you have a belt on? First date brick also sounds like something. Sexual. Involving your colon. No, but bricked up, when someone says I'm bricked up, that means you're hard, you're turned on. She was bricked up, when someone says I'm bricked up, that means you're hard, you're turned on. She was bricked up, she really was.

She got bricked up. Or you're in the Fantastic Four. That's right. I mean that guy. Spend the grand with it. He was bricked up all the time. All right, a woman has been arrested. After police say they caught her on camera

throwing a quote first aid brick through the window of her exposition. Why do they keep calling it that? Florida Home, it's a first aid brick. Oh, where was the home? Florida Home. First aid brick. Oh, where was the home? Florida Home. Huh, Florida. Interesting.

On Tuesday, January 28th, the Lee County Sheriff's Office shared footage on Facebook, of course, where else are they gonna share it? Showing Sabrina Coyne appearing to launch, launch? Launch, that's what it says. The construction material at a Bonita Springs property. Officers posted the doorbell camera photo. Not Bonita Springs.

Everybody, everybody has a doorbell ring thing dated four days prior with Rick Rock and Shaggy, Rick Ross maybe, and Shaggy's 2000 hit, It Wasn't Me playing in the background. So now they're getting, the police are now adding music to the things they're doing. Right. There's now editing involved.

And they're like, let me show you this video of this woman throwing a brick. I think it's good, but it needs music. Right? Like it's funny, but can we add some stuff to it? I don't think any police announcement should end with the CapCut logo. Right, exactly.

No. Beep, bop. All right, a woman is behind bars throwing a first date brick. And they keep calling it first date brick behind the throw of Bonita Springs residence window. again, day brick, I don't understand. Or just a brick. Yeah, just threw a brick.

Deputies located Sabrina Coyne outside the residence after the homeowner says they woke up to a loud crash and banging on the front door. Coyne was arrested for a criminal mischief and throwing a deadly missile. Is that really a deadly miss? Because a brick will go through the window, and it's not good if a brick goes through the window.

I mean, if there's a kid nearby or something. Yeah, it could kill a kid. Yes, throwing a deadly missile into an occupied dwelling. I didn't realize that was actually a thing. What? I know you're not allowed to throw a deadly missile into an occupied dwelling, but that's actually, that's what they call it.

Suspect was released on January 26th, posting how much bond? How much did she get released on? Oh, she'd have to have it too. What do you think? $7,000. Okay. I say seven grand.

I'll go $3,000 bond. Dana, what do you think? I'll go five. One of you is exactly right. Oh, I'm gonna keep mine. Keep yours, keep yours. All right. She was released on $5,000. Hey! There you go, look at that. I'm gonna keep mine keep yours keep yours. All right she was

released on 5,000 Actually, she only needs 500 for that Yeah, she gets a bail bond Yeah, right in the video footage shared by the police and officer can be heard can find the woman was saying what's going on You're the one banging on here. Yeah, I'm trying to get in touch with my ex-husband She responded insisting I banged on the door because he wouldn't let me in This is how you try to get in touch. This sounds like you're in touch. Yeah, what other?

Hearing you perfectly what our options have you tried that you're like with her because it's first date Reaches out first to me. I like long walks on the beach through my reticence to engage with people. That is the Melissa Etheridge song. Come throw a brick through my window. All right, do you live here, the officer questioned as a suspect said.

This is copritorial question time. Do you live here? They know the answer to everything they're asking. Okay, sir, right now I'm gonna answer this question, sir, right now. Do you live here? And she's like, yes. And then on the police video,

the word wrong apparently added by the police. Wait, she said yes? She said yes, she lives there. Like, she could've used to live there, I suppose, if it's her ex. Now she becomes like a six-year-old. Did you launch anything in there? And the officer asks, no,

before the camera cuts the footage of her throwing a thing. That is pretty funny, whoever's editing this. I didn't break the window, I did not break the window, she said, and like you know when someone offers too much information, I did not break the window by throwing the glass in there, or throwing the brick. And no one mentioned a brick. Now you're the only one adding too many details.

When a cop pulls up the first person to yell nobody called you, that's who you need to get to. Nobody called you. That's right. That's who you're gonna be spending the rest of your night with. That's who you immediately get them out. Okay, here's our person of interest.

Officer, officer. You can't smell vodka. What? Nobody said anything about vodka. Officer, officer, I did not. I said no to that weed. What? The video shows a commemorative brick.

A commemorative brick! Like outside of Wrigley Field? I don't know, a Civil War brick? Uncle John's inscription and first date on there. A robbery, it's a January 6th brick. With the date June 14th, 2020. Does anybody know what happened on June 14th? None of us were doing anything.

That was like the height of like George Floyd and. Oh yeah, seemingly referencing the couple's first date. So he got her a brick. It was Florida in June, so by then they were done with the pandemic. Yeah, they were done. That was our song, Ben Folds, Brick. She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly.

He apparently bought her a brick with the date of their first date on there, June 14th of 2019. Oh, so that's why. It was a first date brick. Oh, it was a first date brick. It's a first date brick. She's not on a first date. No, she just threw the first date brick through the window.

But I love how they just said that, like we all know what a first date brick is. You know when you go on a first date and then you want to commemorate it with a brick. Oh, well, first date is brick, first year is payment. To be honest, we've all written scripts. This is a pretty fucking good plant and payoff. Oh my God, it is.

The brick he gives her on their first date ends up being what she uses to break into his home. This could be a JLo Matthew McConaughey movie. After he broke out of her heart. Called Brick by Brick. Brick by Brick. All right, so an LSEO spokesperson said, the police had no additional updates

and was contacted by people, but the police didn't confirm the victim's name. So they're not gonna tell the guy's name, but this, I mean, I'm assuming they're broken up. Now, well, he wasn't answering the door. No, and he knew it was her. And if you are dating this person, she definitely got the brick really early on

before he knew who this person was. Cause I would not- Or at least at the latest one year anniversary. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I would not, I would not give this person something that they could launch through our.

Florida is so relieved people aren't doing like first date guns anymore. Yeah. First date. Yeah. It's like, I got you this first date AK. Here's your first date Molotov cocktail. Light the, the short end.

I mean, but also commemorating a first date is kind of weird. Yeah. Here's a sword. I mean, but also commemorating a first date is kind of weird. Yeah. Here's a sword. I'm really eager to meet you. He's got our date of our first, and I hope this works out. I really hope this works out.

Right. I think people who do all that stuff, I'm always like, the longer you're together, the less anniversaries you need. Right. We don't need our first date, our first kiss. No, it's married. Married. Yeah, we're done. That takes it. Yes. We don't need our first date, our first kiss. No, it's married. Married?

Yeah, we're done. That takes it. Yes. That takes over. You won. Right. You got it. You got it.

Hopefully you both won. Yeah. Unless you're this guy. I would say in this scenario, she won. She won. I mean, now what do you do? I mean, I guess just she's not allowed to pick. That's the problem with it being a brick.

Because what do you, if you see her with anything in her hands, she's not allowed to hold anything anymore. She was probably drunk. She was definitely drunk. We all agree. She, through tears, wants that brick back. She does want it back. This guy, I need that brick back.

Give me that brick. Hey! I'll go to jail if you just give me that brick back. Just call it again. Slash of Judge Watner going, and now you want the brick back? It's my brick. It's my brick. It's my brick.

Yeah, that's your brick. All right, let's. It's the lean into the mic. Yes, you want to have it. How old do you think this woman is? We'll get out of here on this. 78. 78.

I want her to be 78. She's literally two feet from the thing in which you throw it. 29 years older than Gitche. I'm gonna go 27. I think that they were 22 and they got when they started dating 27. Okay, what do you 36 36.

All right. And you said 78. Not serious. Get your answer. What do you think it is seriously? I was gonna say 28 29. Okay. Okay.

All right. Get your answers in town is because this woman who threw a first date break again, throwing that term around like we all know it. We all know it. Oh yeah, first date brick. First date brick. I mean, we all thought she was on a first date

and then we're breaking them through it. At any point in the first four sentences, he could have said, which is a brick commemorating the first date. Commemorative brick. Just a random. Commemorative brick is something that I would not even know what that is. I would have thought the pavers outside of Wrigley,

or they do it at Disney too. Yes, to get a commemorative Disney brick. Maybe they got this at Disney. Is this woman is 34 years old? Oh, I knew it. I knew where she was. She's on the edge of baby making. She's on the edge.

All right, Dan, you got the last story. We're going to find out what you have going on so people can see it. Once this woman does get married within a month, she's, the cops are coming to her house, she's behind a screen door saying, he's here, they got a mouth on me. Where is he? He's living with his sister.

Yeah. All right. Coming up, we have stolen Valor for the dumbest reason. I love it. All right, Danny Gould's with us in Stump People Town, don't go anywhere. Speaking of stolen Valor. Speaking of stolen valor. Speaking of stolen valor.

You set your house on fire. Not all of it. That's my album, Borrowed Valor. Borrowed Valor? I'm gonna give it back. It's Geechie's Teeth. Geechie's Teeth. We're done.

That's the name of your next album. Still more records. All right, whenever you're ready. What was his name? Robert Michael C Michael Cathers Michael Paul Cathers Michael Paul NPC Michael. I do want to see what he looked like at 59. That's right. Me too. All right, Jay. We'll get it. All right, guys. Welcome back to the show. Dana Gould is with us. Got a brand new special out. You can see it on YouTube. It is called once again, Lee normal, which I think is great, and it is a fantastic special.

It's just one of the best standups ever to do it. I will say ever to do it, certainly in our lifetime. I would say in our lifetime. I mean, certainly like one of our favorite comics. There are people out there who do really well, and I say to myself, I understand it, I get it, it's not making me laugh. Then there are people out there who just, every single I say to myself, I understand it, I get it, it's not making me laugh. Then there are people out there who just,

every single time I see them, I'm like, I'm just in stitches the entire time. This gentleman. Very nice, you're very kind. Facts. I have those people. Daniel, before we jump into the story, how can people see you and catch you?

Watch my special, Rose Gold, we're over 100,000 views. Woo! Thanks for that. And then you can watch that on YouTube. Obviously, wine club's a fun movie go to Daniel Van Kirk calm March 28th and 29th. I'll be in Denver I'll be in Chicago doing a run of like just local Chicago shows one of my friends there who runs a lot of shows like Could you come out and do some shows so I'm doing comedians. You should know brews and movies and blackout diaries

That's the second third and fourth of April and then I'll be at the laughing tap April 11th and 12 great place No, I love it And then May 23rd, I'm gonna be in it my first time I'm going to Jamesville, Wisconsin to the comedy cabin So come up to those everything's at Daniel van Kirk comm and I'll come back to Louisville Green Lake, New Orleans Cohasset Mass I'll be out there as well It's interesting too because Wisconsin has a lot of tragedy cabins. Yes. But only one comedy cabin.

Comedy cabin, yeah. It has hundreds of thousands of tragedy cabins. Comedy cabins equal tragedy cabins plus time cabins. That's great. You need a time cabin attached to it. All right, so go see Dan in Denver the 28th, 29th, right? Yeah. And then Dan's gonna send you to come see us

like a week later. 100%, DanielVancurk.com. All right, you ready? Sent in by Kyle Speicher at TV Kyle. Thanks Kyle, love you dude. Thanks buddy. Here's the headline. Fake DEA agent busted while trying to get fast food discount.

I mean it's. you're going to steal valor I know at least get a steak drive on the shoulder right yeah right yeah or like board the plane earlier show up so he just had the hat that's all he had was a hat guys were the jacket can we hurry this up I gotta get to a bus, right? He walks in with like one of the things that you'd like the door. Yeah knock the door Yeah, one of those they're batting rams. Is that the drug enforcement agency? Yes So we need the fucking nerds So he so he's trying to use that to get free fast food. Yeah discounted fast food

Now I'm gonna ask you guys just for fun. Where did he do it? What fast food? Taco Bell. That's your guy, I knew one of you. Taco Bell? I thought it'd be him because of the EF. Taco Bell. Okay, Randy says Taco Bell.

I went right to Mickey D's. Okay. Like literally the first thing that came to my mind was Hardee's. Right. Right. So I'm just gonna go with that. Hardee's, which is also Carl's Jr., right?

Hardee's is like the granif of fast food restaurants. Ah. I once was on tour, and I might have told this story years ago, but I was on tour and the person at Chipotle just thought I was a cop. So he gave you. Yeah, and I was like, oh, I'm was a cop. So he gave you. Yeah, and I was like, oh, I'm not a cop. And they're like, no, it's fine, man.

And I was like, it says on the receipt. And I was like. Thank you for your service. Yeah, and I was like, no, no, it's all right. And they're like, look, if I have to undo this, then I gotta give up. Yeah, it became a thing of like. And then I'm like, yeah, but I'm then getting half off of this. Right, right. I feel bad that I'm getting this. Right, and he's like, then I'm like, but yeah, but you've I'm then getting half off of this, right?

I feel bad that I'm getting right and he's like, well, sometimes we don't give it to cops. So it evens out what? But then now I'm so I don't want to be a part of the evening out of the cop disc. All right, bundle, Florida Never heard of that place. Well, we've been we've been all over Florida for the years doing the show. It's the bundle. It's the bundle. Sounds like when the funnel that goes into your ass when you butt shut. Get the bottle and lay down on your stomach. Lay down on your stomach and get the bottle. Quiet nights you can hear a fraternity. All funnel action. The quiet All, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, a DEA agent according to Bundle Police. Did he flash a badge? Did he have a hat? David Stover, cop name. Dave Stover, yeah.

He's lead investigator Dave Stover said, we've exhausted all lanes. We've exhausted all of us. Dave Stover was arrested Monday at 2570 Commerce Park, where you can add that to the Dumb People town walking tour, at Wendy's. Ah! He wanted a square burger. where you can add that to the dumb people town walking tour at Wendy's Dan there the pretzel bread burger, but I do believe Wendy's is a very

good quality fast food Like their burger does taste very good in terms of like where else are we gonna go at two o'clock in the morning? I don't know this next year fair fair But yeah, he's in a way. Maybe he just wanted a baked potato Do you remember the baked potato bar at when I do a bar I do I do a full on serve yourself baked potato I mean all the kids we'd go to like Ponderosa is kids and there'd be like the food bars at those places Yeah, we love them could not have been healthy at all. No, that's not what you're there for So they're called the Wendy's officer said Stover was demanding a law enforcement discount and started threatening to report staff to corporate For not giving it to him corporate corporate. That is the I'm calling your bluff. Yeah, I'll call corporate on you

I will call corporate according to police Stover was a regular at the Wendy's for the past two years And had never mentioned it. Never mentioned it. Worker said he used to get a discount at the restaurant because he had a friend who was a cashier there, according to the restaurant report. But when that worker left the job, Stover started claiming he was a law enforcement officer. So he had a greasy wheel. He had the friend disco. And that guy left, and now he's thinking, how do I keep getting an extra whopper? He can't fly coach again.

I can't pay full price for this. I can't fly coach again. I've been up to first class. First class. He's probably getting slid a Dave's Jr. on the side. And now that guy's gone, so he's like, I gotta come up with something here. He's getting a Frosty just because. Yes. So he starts claiming he was a law enforcement

officer. Dude you've been going there for two years. You are a regular. Pick a different one. Not alone at a fast food restaurant. They've heard you talk about yourself. You've had conversations with your friend. Right. You've come in high. You're not a DEA they've watched you I'm a judge you know that's you're literally never meant my robe is at the cleaners the manager at the store told investigators that Stover would often tell workers he was an undercover DEA agent. Okay, that's the first rule of being a DEA agent. I'm not being an undercover. What is three words that an undercover agent ever says? I'm not an undercover agent.

Well, the first people you want to tell are people who work at a fast food restaurant. Yes. Well, you know, after I was a federal agent, I dated a woman whose family was part of the Chicago outfit. And she told me that her family was convinced that I was undercover trying to infiltrate their family. By dating her. And yes. And I said, why would I have told you that I was a former federal agent?

Because. And then she said, it wouldn't that be a great way? And then I was like, we can't date anymore. Here's how much I'm not undercover. We're breaking. Yes, right. I'm never gonna infiltrate your family. Or you, or you for that matter.

I'm just trying to infiltrate you. Neither of us are going undercover. We're not even going to be undercovers. None of us ever. That's not happening. The manager at the store told investigators to tell workers he was a DEA agent, would occasionally flash a badge, would ask for proof. That's the other thing, if you're undercover, you don't have a badge on you.

No. Then go watch the departed. Donnie Brosco. His car had a bumper sticker that said, ask me about being an undercover agent. Investigators said Stover denied ever claiming he was DEA agent. Investigators said Stover denied ever claiming he was the agent. However, he did admit to carrying a concealed carry permit badge, which he claimed he showed the employees because they asked to see it. If you ask, I got to show it. I mean, that's license number one of being an undercover agent. His license laid is UNDR CVR. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. Stover faces a charge of impersonating a law enforcement officer. We'll get out of here on this. Story number three, the wonderful Dana Gold joined us. Perfectly normal. Perfectly normal. Perfectly normal, watch it on YouTube. Supersclarz.com, danielvankirk.com. How old is David Stover?

What do you think, Dana? What's your vibe? He had a friend who worked there. 32. Okay. 32? I think he's. He had a friend who worked there. 32. Okay. 32? I think he's... He does have a concealed carry badge. 49.

Okay. 41. 41. David Stover is 57 years old. Oh my Lord! He kinda looks like a DA agent. That's a guy, if you're that age and you need the distance. This is the bad two of Flash.

Concealed books. That looks real. That looks real. Well it is a real concealed carry permit. But it doesn't say drug enforcement agents. No, not at all. Well that's the Flash. Captain Crunch.

Yeah. Yeah. All right, that's a show, Fred. Mike's porn, Mike's porn bar rental captain. They put this on me when I went to Dick's last resort. I've just sort of been using it ever since. It's great. Flash it quick enough.

Because I'm the chief asshole. That's what it says. Go watch Perfectly Normal. That is it, guys. We love you. Thanks for joining us on this episode of Dumb People Town. And oh snap, we've got to get back to work. We'll see you.

Stick around, make a sound, there's a sound. That is it, guys. We love you. Thanks for joining us on this episode of Dumb People Town. And, oh snap, we gotta get back to work. We'll see you. Yeah.