Dumb People Town - Dean Delray - Ride Or Die

Episode Date: May 27, 2025

Comedian Dean Delray (5836) stops by as Daniel describes a woman who spends crazy sums of money of water for her spoiled dog, Randy explains why a funeral home in Albany, Australia created a truck hearse, and Jason revels in a man who led police on a chase who once caught offered the officers vodka spritzers and asked if they had fun, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsor: Chewy! Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. And right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to Chewy.com/DPT. 

Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware they lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose. We'll make the news breaking down each epic fail. In Florida there's half-price mail. I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast jam with co-hosts Armand Dan. Members, don't be a jerk, cause when the music hits the funny hits and wins, we'll be the ones to win.

Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware they lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose. We'll make the news breaking down each epic fail. In Florida there's half-price mail. I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast jam with co-hosts Armand Dan. Members, don't be a jerk, cause when the music hits the funny hits and wins, we'll be the ones to win.

Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware they lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose. We'll make the news breaking down each epic fail. In Florida there's half-price mail. I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast jam with co-hosts Arm and Dan. Members, don't be a jerk, because when the music puts the funny hits in, we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, hunker down is Dumb People Town. Thank you to our sponsor, Chewy, with over 100,000 products from top pet brands. Chewy makes it easy to find everything from food and treats

to beds and toys, all delivered to your door in one to two days. They also carry supplies for birds, fish, reptiles, and other small pets. Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy, and right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to chewy.com slash dpt.

That's chewy.com slash dpt to save $20 on your first order and free shipping, chewy.com slash DPT to save $20 on your first order and free shipping chewie.com slash DPT. Minimum purchase required, new customers only. Terms and conditions apply. See site for complete details. Hey, Taddies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population population Delray.

Dean Delray. Delray People Town. Delray, Del Rio, Texas. The return. The return of the great Dean Del Rey. Dean Del Rey. Del Rey people, tell them. Del Rio, Texas. The return. The return of the great Dean Del Rey. He's got great stuff that we're gonna get into. Tons of great tour dates and an unbelievable special.

We'll talk about them in a second. I think you just shot it the last time you were here. Yeah, I did. But now we can talk about it. That's all I'm gonna say. We'll get to it in a little bit, but we got dumb to get into right now. Come on, Jen.

Okay, I'm out the gate. It was sent in by Carlene McDermott at She Be Carlene. Love her. Thank you, love you. I don't know that I've ever had a more appropriate story for our guest. Our guest. Yes, I love this. And one of you two. Oh yeah, it's gonna have to deal with a French Bulldog.

Woman spends insane amount of money on bottled water because spoilt dog refuses to drink tap water See there's a little bone in both of our bodies. They were like we get it. I get it. I get it Yeah, I get it my dog you're already on board and Evie. I'm not on board I'm just like it's wrong, but like as how wrong there's homeless people as today We're I should just throw a bunch of dry food. He's so cute It should I would that's a good dog So I throw a bunch of dry food in Ziggy's cuz you want your dog to eat and drink I throw a bunch of dry food in the dog's thing. He doesn't eat it

So now I gotta mix it with a little bit of wet food. He's not eating it I throw a little bit of mozzarella cheese on top. I'm like, what am I doing? What am I doing? I'm this person. You're being trained. I'm being this. He's training me. You're being trained by your dog.

He's training who? The dog's gotta eat though. Anyway, whatever. That was the big warning on microplastics. I was like, I'll take them in my plastic bottle, but for Gertie, absolutely not. Absolutely not. I'll take them. Glass bottle.

Glass bottle, Gertie. This is a BPA free dog. Yeah. Let the dog cook. A woman is forking out a small fortune on bottled water for her spoiled dog. It's dumb, Dan, but I get it. Who apparently refuses to drink water from the tap. So here's what I would do. Buy one bottle water. Empty the one in there. You do the one. Fill it back up. Put the refridgerator. No

See you doing it. Yes. She live in Detroit cuz then I'll get it Where Michigan is she dog knows better than we know? Not Flint, Michigan I believe this is across the bond as it were oh my god But what if the dog has a pavlovian response to the cracking of the crap or the cap? I trick Gertie all the time You know what I mean? Like I'll put the food out so go oh no and then I'll open her tree bag and Russell it around like you just put them in there

And then she'll go huh, and then she'll come over and eat the food thinking it's from the treat bag I mean a common like children like that a common parent move is open. It looks like they're closed right right oh They have a place. They're freaking out. They want to go. This is our new This is our new and you're like oh, it looks like it's close remember the old Jack Handery goes one time I promised my nephew I would take him to Disney world or Disneyland and I didn't have the money so I drove him out to an old burned-down barn and says looks like Disney World burned down or whatever whatever he cried but at least I saved the money

so yeah deep thoughts again yeah no this is our new our new bid and our act is like like zero to five it's just all lies. Like 70% is lies. On the kids? Yes. And then 30%. Can we get ice cream? They don't sell ice cream here anymore. They don't anymore.

Yeah, he used to. And you take them to a place that is a freezer out, be like, see it was here. And they're like, they don't have it. There's a thing though. Our parents lied to us like that and now we're comedians because we're just. Right? Because we just. We found out they lied.

Our parents' lies were like, I'll be right back. Yeah, I Haven't been drinking I Still love your mother. Well, that's our joke is like this is your fault. That was a lie. These are Adult candy adult candy. That's what my friend's dad said. He's are you smoking us? No, this is adult candy That's right candy and then the crazy thing is there also was candy cigarettes at the time You're like, oh, yeah, that's what he's doing. Yeah smart. We got any pigs. No, they're extinct. My dog gets straight up Everything top of the line. Yeah top of the line because you know when I got the dog, I'm feeding it You know the the the fucking dry food.

And then this lady goes, you know that's loaded with sawdust, right? And I was like, because I started noticing that the shit was breaking up, like sawdust, and then I Google it, all of it's made in China, no regulation, they just pour sawdust in the food. So here's the thing.

We've had some great pet food sponsors here on the show, we'd love to have you back. Yes, we'd love to have you back. I'll say this, like, but you, just that statement you said. If someone asks me, how's Dean Del Ray doing? Well, he's picking up his dog shit and Googling if it's sawdust.

That's not a good place to be. You're right in all you're saying, but in a different context, I'm like, man, he's Googling, he's Googling sawdust in dog food. Are you this hardcore about your own diet? Oh yeah. Oh god, yeah, because I got diabetes like seven years ago. You lost a lot of weight.

Yeah, I lost 40 pounds. And I always tell people, like, I didn't know shit about my body, I know everything about a 36 Harley, but nothing about diet. So I'm like drinking Jamba Juice going, yeah, I'm healthy. I'm just drinking smoothies and I'm loaded with sugar. Not a joke, but a crazy mindfuck thing I heard recently was if you had the opportunity to live in the body

of someone you cared about for one year, how would you return it to them? Ooh, that's a great. And why don't we think about it that way for ourselves? Yeah. If you have your mom or whatever, you would go, all right, well, yeah, you're getting this back. We are, for a year, you're getting this back streamlined.

Top shovels. I go the opposite, man. It's someone else's body. I'm back to candy, Burger King body. I'm back Burger King Coke for sure red vine breakfast. I don't know what I got it Came to me take this man. We made these brownies. We got to eat them Yeah, Lizzie palester from extra Devon makes welcomed Exeter sorry Exeter Devon, welcomed, Exeter, sorry, Exeter Devon,

welcomed five month old French bulldog Henry into her home earlier this year and she immediately realized he was a diva. As well as refusing to climb the stairs or sleep alone. Are we still on her side? Adminisalone I get. Adminis- Climb the stairs is like,

I need you moving. Drag him to the edge. Well what you do is you get behind him and just give him a little you know with the foot little nuts It looks like you're kicking him, but he's fine Lizzie said he has even started turning down tap water after seeing her two-year-old daughter swig from a bottle The spoiled little brat won't even accept tap water from a bottle Lizzie said this fussiness is setting her back How much per week in pounds or in my I converted in dollars Yeah, and oh, that's like bottle water. It's like seriously 30 cents or whatever. I'd you know the dollar

This is a bottle of every on this is a real Picture it's a bottle of every yeah, so Bottle she's got a week 40 bottles per week is what I gather she's going through. So 40 bucks a week? Oh no, I think 150. A week? Yeah. 90.

$53. Oh, great. You know what's up. First of all, also, I will tell you a funny story. My French Bulldog is here. When I first got her, the first day I go, yeah, she's not gonna be sleeping in my bed. I'm not, that's a fucking. Come on, that's not me.

I'm not one of those. That's gross. And then I got home and I put her on the floor in her bed and I slept next to her on the floor for a couple nights to let her know, hey, we're all cool here. Third night, I climb in the bed, I'm like, I'm not sleeping on the fucking floor. No way.

All of a sudden I just hear, burp, burp, burp. And she's just looking at me like, I'm not sleeping on the fucking floor. No way. All of a sudden, I just hear, brrp, brrp, brrp. And she's just looking at me like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Why do you get that? Where are you? That was it, man. In the bed.

And that was five years ago. And that was convenient for you. Yeah, my daughter sleep in the bed with us. And she takes the whole fucking bed. She sleeps this way. This way. And so into your back, so you're like on the last sliver. I am on the, I am over on the last sliver. I am on the edge

Yeah, I like when an animal decides they do need to sleep pushing against something Yeah, and they'll go straight cats do it dogs. I know just be like I just need to be pushing against you Well, I love love dude. I would agree the new dog owner said I've never met a dog like Henry before He has to be the center of attention He's a hundred percent of diva each morning when I put the tap water down on the floor He nudges it then sits looking at me like nice try. Where's my bottled water? Wow, I go through two packs of 12 bottles of water each week She's a dummy by one bottle three fill it that is a weird also the dog's name is Henry that's a white trash name Henry the fourth I have to do shopping for the family and buy him bottles of water she continued

I've tried putting tap water in bottles and he knows no He wants me to open the bottle in front of him as if he's saying I'm not a fool He'll wait until I put the bottled water in and then drink it. So not only does he have his own food, he has to have his own water too. Oh my god. He's definitely high. You can't fake cracking open a bottle. Yeah. Absolutely. You have to fake it. He's definitely high maintenance. You're a bad actress. I think she just doesn't want people to know how she treats her dogs. She's shaking this stuff. putting it on the dog.

Yeah, yeah, the dog's like, I don't care when I'm drinking. Right. Dog doesn't care. It's like when somebody goes about their kid, they're like, I'm sorry, she gets like this, and I go, cause it works? Yeah, that's right. That's why she gets like this, cause it works.

Right. What you're saying, what you're saying in saying, I'm sorry she gets like this, is I'm sorry I don't have the energy to fight this. Yeah, yeah, she won. That's what you're saying. She's won. Yeah.

Setting limits is hard as hell. Setting limits is hard. Jay one time said, I said that, tweeted, tweeted, setting a limit is like forcing an opposing player into a shot clock violation on defense. You just have to be up on it. You gotta wait the clock out, you gotta do everything,

you gotta be moving your feet, you gotta be active through the whole thing. And Shane Badier, basketball player from Duke, who was an incredible defender, and he went on to the play for the Ryles. Was like a defensive genius in the NBA. He just retweeted it and was like, yep. He knows.

I got it, he knew. I'm like, you understand, you're a dad and you're a defensive player. You understand it. It's as if he's saying, quote, this is what she says, Henry says, you've chosen me, now look after me the way you should. Poor Lizzie, she wanted a sweet little pup,

but she ended up with a sass cat. Love a good sass cat. However, Lizzie reckons she's probably only. Have you ever done sass cat at a UCB? No, it's been a while. Been a while. Yeah, however Lizzie reckons. She's probably only done sass cat at a It's been a while Shout out better classic improv Yes Yes, the sass cats yeah, however Lizzy Nirvana. It's like David Michaelman in the sass yet

They only did the first warp to her yeah, however Lizzie reckons She's probably only got herself to blame because she thinks Henry became such a diva after cottoning on to how much Lizzie spoils her own daughter. That's it. Lizzie said, he won't walk. I had to start carrying him up the stairs and he would wait for me to take him back down. Sitting on the sofa, he has to be seated with us.

I was like, this dog is needy. My daughter started putting him in her little tykes car and he sits there while she leaves him in there. She has juice bottles and he thinks he's a miniature version of her. He's not demanding. That's right. I took him off my lap the other day because I had to do something and he turned his back on me for about an hour. Oh, dog shame. It's like Polly and now I'm going to turn my back on you. Yeah. That's so great. I got to turn my back. I got him a dog bed and he refused to sleep on the dog bed. He'll go to bed when I go because he sees my daughter

getting so spoiled, he wants to be spoiled too. Well, that's fair, I suppose. We'll get out of here on this. How old is the dog? Do you believe his Lizzie Pallister? The woman. The woman. Oh, the woman?

Yes, the woman. She's got a two-year-old daughter. She's got a two-year-old daughter. I get, and she's in England. That could be anywhere. That could be anything. Yeah. People are waiting to have kids. This could be, sheold daughter. She had two-year-old daughter. I get and she's in you get that that could be anything I could be anything. Yeah people are waiting to have kids this could be she could have adopted. I think 42 42 I'm gonna go with 30 30 also is the dog available right?

Henry you got One of you is only one year off for you now have all have the option to go up You're down in your 36 41 31 okay Story number one we come back. I will tell you what I'm up to Randy will have a story for us I can't wait to talk about this special everything. It's an amazing special. I will tell you first that Lizzie palester is 29 that Lizzie Palister is 29 years old. You're right there.

You're right, but you went the other way. There you go. All right. That's story number one. We come back. We're going to find out everything right here with Dean Del Ray. It's Dumb People Town.

Don't go nowhere. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, gang. Welcome back to the show. Before we jump into what Dean has going on, Daniel, you got great stuff coming up this summer.

I'm very excited. Yes. Can we call it the week of Van Kirkisms? show before we jump into what Dean has going on. Daniel, you got great stuff coming up this summer. I'm very excited. Yes. I will call it the week of Van Kirk ism. Hub City Comedy Week is the 15th through the 19th at the Lincoln Lodge, July, Chicago. Yes. In July, they let me just take over and do a different show every single night. Other comics that are in town are going to stop by great comics from in and around Chicago are going to be there as well. And then at the end of the month, I will be in Dayton, Kentucky at the Commonwealth Sanctuary. I'll be in Cincinnati at the Comet. I'm going to be doing a don't tell around those dates as well. And then I'll be in Portland the first weekend of August. And man, I'm forgetting

other stuff, but I'll be in Northern California. Do a whole bunch of everythings at danielvankirk.com. Dates right now up till like, I think October. And then check out my podcast, The Midnight Air that drops every Monday night right here. It's an overnight radio podcast. It's phenomenal. Listen to while you go to sleep. We do fun stuff.

By the way, I started doing that, listening to podcasts as like a way to kind of wind down. I did my top 10 must haves at a Mexican restaurant. Oh my God. And I'm like, if this will either keep you company or at least make you fall asleep. You better go to sleep at seven. You better go down when you hit seven.

That's awesome. Well, midnight air, can't wait. Dean, dude, let's talk about your special In a Cave. It's on YouTube. What's it called? 5836, because that's what said it was in my career. Dude, that's amazing. It sounds like the, so, you know,

like the Jewish new year is like 57, 80, I want to know what it is. I think it's 57, 86 or they're around. So to me, when I saw the title that I'm like, is he, is he like on the Jewish calendar here? What's happening? So that was the number set you did. Yeah. And you know, I was like,

great name. 57, 85. There you go. Yeah. And the funny thing is, is like, I was trying to figure out a name and everybody has the name from a bit, you know, like road rash, nuts to butts or whatever. This is good. I like this. And I was like, you know, I gotta have something that matches the originality of the cave shooting. Sure. And so then I was just looking through my set, I always put down every set,

and the night before I went, oh shit, this is gonna be 5836, that's gonna be the name of the special. Fantastic. I love it. And the great thing is, since no one picked it up, they couldn't argue with it. You know, like, well, we don't see the marketing with that., I like that. It's mysterious. It's a story that thing my idea was Let's say if Netflix or Hulu picked it up and you're driving down

Sunset and you just see this cave and the picture of me like doing some movement and you see 58 36 You're gonna think three things like what the fuck is that is this? Yep? What is that number? Because whenever you see a number or billboard and they don't tell you what it is now You're fucking obsessed with it. You know the nuggets the nuggets were wearing their uniforms It said like Aaron what did say like 52 28 or something like that and I'm like, what is this? What does it mean? What is this? I was like, he's 38, but he lives like he's 36. I don't know What is this? I was like, he's 58, but he lives like he's 36.

I don't know. Is that what it is? What does it mean? Well, that's the thing. You got like all these stories when you see it. And then once you tell people, well, it was 58, 36, that was the set, then they understand the amount of work that has gone into the career.

It's not like, oh, I've been doing comedy for a year and just shot a special like you're supposed to do. No, this draws a line through all of your sets that came before. So it was a beautiful spot. And it's interesting because the first time I saw that stage was our friends, the milk carton kids who are just tremendous folk artists. I was watching like PBS on a Friday night. I was like one of those times where I was home. I was off, we were off the road.

I'm just hanging with my wife. We're watching. And this like concert series came on and it was from this cave. It was like the cavern is what it was. What's it called? It's called the cavern sessions. And they've won multiple Emmys.

And these guys sound, I mean, their sound is two guys. They have the best voices. Their sound is really good. It's very Simon and Garfunkel-esque. And it sounded perfect in this thing. And the setting is just, setting's beautiful. And like, anytime you do like a dolly shot in there, and again, the overhang of the cave.

We grew up going to a place called Merrimack Caverns in Missouri, and I just remember, I have such fondness, memories of being in caves and stuff. It's just super cool. So perfect setting for you to do this show. And a little tide of music, which I love too. Right, and you know, we rolled the dice so fucking hard. We'd never been in the place, which is something

you don't wanna do when you're shooting a special. Sight unseen. Nobody's done comedy in there, so I can't call somebody and go, what's the laughs like? Because somebody could go like, oh, it's awful, they die. They die right there. Or they ricochet, which is also weird. Yeah, ting, ding, bow, yeah.

So there was no one to call. It was a full gamble. And hats off to Bill Burr, because he was like, we're going to shoot it at a club. And he's like, nah, dude, you're a fucking, you're the, your brand is the cave. like cool shit yes what we gotta do he's right and he fucking took time out of his you know we're on this arena tour he's got a family he's got eight fucking things going on his career and he goes

let's fly out Sunday and do this and fly back Monday and it was the time of my life and also it's my I absolutely love this special and you need to love what you do in this world of idiot comments because they bounce right off you if you love what you do so if you feel proud of what it is I just had this conversation with my wife who wrote a book and she and in her but like her reaction to people's reactions to it I'm like you have to just be good about what you did if you love what you did then who cares what somebody says

or what they totally and the truth is those numbers are very small compared to the people who love it they're just sometimes can be loud but who cares man the specials great whatever anybody says it's trusted 58 from 36 Dean Del Rey go find it on YouTube find on YouTube give yourself a treat watch it Yeah, watch me on YouTube and it's for you write a nice comment on it thumbs up it all those things help and your friends Yeah, the funniest thing there's really it's like 98% positive, which I'm like, oh no, that's not a good thing But one guy wrote on there he goes goes, look at this asshole, just deleting negative comments, obviously.

And it's like, I'm definitely not doing it. Have at it. You know what I mean? What else you got? Because I like the other guys who go after him. Call engagement, baby. Yeah, fuck yeah, man. It's hilarious.

So wait, so you're touring as well now, too. You got some stuff coming up. Yeah, I'm gonna be in Arizona at the House of Comedy this week. Nice. And then I go to one of the greatest clubs in America, the Comedy Fort. Love it.

In Fort Collins, Colorado. David Rodger, yes. The following week, get tickets, Dean Del Ray. And then I'm going to Fort Worth, Texas, which I have not done at all in my 16 year career. So that'll be great. You've done it, love 16 year career. So that was great. You've done it, love it. Love it, love it.

Awesome. All right, let's jump in the story. Let's jump in the sentient. Another one by Carly McDermott at Chibi Carleen. You ready for this? And I love this because it's less of a crazy story, but more of like a new wave in the way a thing that has been done a certain way

for a long period of time is now being done another way and this is just perfect for all of us because it actually ties into a bit that I saw in your new special. All right, so Albany Funeral Home fabricates truck hearse as vehicle options grow. So if you want your hearse not to be just, like someone was just like, yeah, make it a station wagon.

But like these guys did a full on rig. Wow. You like lit, die like you lived. Yeah. Yeah. On meth in a truck. But I mean like you want someone as you're going to your funeral to drive by and go. Yeah.

Super big gulp included. Funeral home manager Chris Woonings. Woonings. Woonings. home manager Chris Woonings Woonings I have serious Woonings about this says the use of a non-traditional hearse can be part of providing someone the right service Yes, okay, man. He's a trucker get him in a truck Can I ask you this probably would be more revealed as the story goes along yeah How much do the three of you give a shit about your funeral and and just because I said give a shit say if it's a lot Oh, so I've been to sadly a number of funerals. Old people, old people, young people.

It's just, the most important part is what people have to say. What people have to say and the gathering of people. That is the most important part. So you can have it in a Burlington Coat Factory parking lot and roll up the urn and just throw the ashes away in the wind, it doesn't matter. It just matters the people that are around you.

So when our dad passed in 2009, some friends of ours surprised us and came from all over the country to St. Louis to be with us, because they knew it was like a very intense time. And after the funeral that night, we were at the house, which is the Jewish tradition, or R at the house, which is the Jewish tradition,

or Rosh Shiva, which is seven days. Surround yourself with people for seven days. Show up at your house, they bring food, it's just a gathering, it's people talking, it's telling, sharing stories and all that stuff. That night, we got the idea to take our friends who were in town to our favorite ice cream place that our dad used to love every time we'd come to town. He would take us there to Ted Drew's and we got this group of people together and we went to the and got ice cream in the middle of this really intense hard time. We went and did this special thing in honor of him that he would have done. He's like, if it is own funeral, if his spirit was there, he'd be like, take them to Ted Drew's so they know that there's good stuff here in St. Louis.

And that feeling, that was the most therapeutic and beautiful thing. It had nothing to do with what type of coffin we bought or what type of, you know, what truck. All the little things you got, what the headstone looked like, what are we gonna do? But if an 18-wheeler brings everybody joy, fire up that 18-wheeler.

Bring it. Bring it. To the grave. We should crush a couple cars on the way over. What are we gonna? But if an 18-wheeler brings everybody joy and fire up that 18 ring it Crush a couple cars on the way over I go no funerals no weddings That is my rule in life you don't go to you don't go to no no that's a both end in death a lot of money Just not doing it man both and a different kind of death Yeah, he said his fully enclosed truck. Hurst would was a world first I don't know if you can call it a world first or like that He's claiming how great does this guy looks like Dave from Wendy's? Looks like he's gonna be dead

Love that his cell phone fits in his front pocket I'll tell you what first of all, that's not the first one because you know how many truckers die in their own truck? Thank you, that's their thing. Carried on, it's its own hearse. That's right, I don't think this guy owns one long sleeve dress. No, Chris Mooning says the truck is an option for those who want something a bit different.

So now he's just using this as a commercial. Mr. Mooning's who manages a funeral home in Albany, 400 kilometers south of Perth, said he, so maybe this is Australia, said he carried out a funeral with a higher truck, but higher H-I-R-E, but with the area's inclement weather became apparent there were changes that needed to be made. So he hired a truck to do this and then was like, we have to actually outfit this thing.

So like this is part of it. We had a coffin on the back and it rained really bad and the coffin got saturated. Wait, like the coffin's on a flatbed? Yeah, just out this is part of it We had a coffin on the back and it rained really bad and the coffin got saturated like the coffins on a flatbed Yeah, out in the air. Not good. That's not even like that's the whole point of a hearse is to keep In the ground he's like Yeah, this is more of a parade listen to his quote and like I thought there's the undertaker entered Russell mania Like I thought there's got to be a better way to do this and more respectful I'm like, I'm glad you're thinking about it after it rains.

I figured that out after. No one checked the forecast? No one's got a tarp on that shit? If you've got a open, the coffin isn't open, but if you got an open air coffin on a flat, yeah, open air hearse on a flatbed of a semi and it's raining, you're two-thirds of the way to like a Guns N' Roses music video. Exactly. Yeah, November rain. Oh damn.

Literally November rain. Mr. Wooning's tracked down a 1982 Kenworth and spent how many months carrying out the fabrication work needed to adapt its uses of hers? Two months. Two months? What do you think Dan? 18.

Jay? 10. Get your answers in. He spent 12 months. One year! A year! A year of his life. And dude,. Get your answers in. He spent 12 months. One year! A year! A year of his life. It is pretty cool looking, I'm just gonna say.

It's like the Pelt Mobile. Exactly what I'm saying. It's totally the Pelt Mobile, but, do you see that? It's just kinda cool. Do you know what would be great? It's no coffin, the guy was just like this. Yeah, prop him up, put him in a recliner.

He's doing rigor mortis, he's like this. This looks like what LSU drags that sad tiger around in. I know. This is how you should have entered the cave, man. Yeah. In one of these, like come out of the basket. I was, you know, they have those, like, everybody talks about, like,

oh, we gotta go to this destination wedding or funeral. Yeah. I was born in Yosemite, so I'm like, when I die, cremate me and I'm fucking my friends. They have to hike Hapdome and throw it over the Hapdome. And there's no way they're gonna do it. Burr will just be the helicopter. Fshhh.

You just, you smoke too much. I just went to Yosemite for the first time, the valley. The coolest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. You were born in Yosemite. I was born there and the funny thing is people go, yeah, you're gonna go to heaven when you die? And I was like, dude, it's not gonna be better than where I was born.

Holy crap. Was there a hospital there or were you born? Oh yeah, there's a hospital there, I lived there. You lived in the park? Yeah, yeah. Where, what park? In the valley? No.

They got the employee housing, by a wanted. Why did I not know this valley? Right by the hotel? Yeah, yeah. Shit. So you grew up in the valley? No. They got the employee housing, the area wanted. Why did I not know this about you? Right by the hotel? Yeah. Yeah. So you grew up in the valley. Yeah, my grandmother lived there,

and my mom and dad. Dude, remarkable. It's pretty insane. And then I was there so long in my life that when I got out, you know, I was like, oh god, I'm out of there, the city, you know, San Francisco. And then.

You missed it. No, and then when I went back later on in life, like when I was 23 and I was like, what was I running from this for? Exactly. Fucking hell. It's not crazy, like you as a kid, it's like I gotta get out of here.

But it's actually beautiful. You come through that tunnel and you see Half Dome, you just go, what the fuck is this? Am I wrong in thinking that there was a live action Looney Tunes, he could be Yosemite Sam. Yeah. Yosemite Dean. All right, it's a quite old truck,

probably vintage now, but it has been given new life. There you go. All right. It's wonderful, all types of people use it. Somebody is. You could use this in like a float or parade or something for sure. He said it's been-

Eastbound and down, loaded up and dying. All right, maybe. Place a candle box far behind. Operation. I would have a Harley in there. I know you would. Just fuckin' ah. Operational for six months, and demand has equaled that of a standard hearse.

So now I'd be like, what do you want? You want one of these hearse or the truck? The old ones, you want the truck. How about a motorcycle with a sidecar? And you're just in the sidecar. Right, in the sidecar, yes. Just like, ah, just going down. Chris, when he decided to enclose the truckers,

decided an enclosed truckers was what was needed because of the rain. People still want a bit of respect and a bit of formality, but inside that formality, they still want to show a person's character. This is the new wave, dudes. Might not be so dumb. Dude, you can come down on a kayak

and be brought in like that, right? Same thing. I think it's how you remember the funeral that counts, that's what he said, and that's what we were saying too. If you can remember it with them going out on a truck, blowing the air horn, something like that, or the grandkids remember,

it just puts a more positive light on the funeral, which is important. I think we have too much of a negative view of death. So that's my bit. I did that bit about we need to change the funeral. We need to jazz it up. So I think for now on after the funeral to the left, you just sell their stuff.

So it's like a funeral for the funeral. Garage sale. Yeah. So they're like, how much for the jet ski? Yeah. The one that killed them? It's right over there. I've been trying to do this bit for like a year

and the audience just goes quiet. I'm like, fuck you. Come on, man. Chance change the conversation. Bring it to Tag It on June 6th. I'm here for the boots. What size are the boots? Yeah, exactly.

I'm the same size suit as this guy. How did you know the guy who passed? I don't. I just saw. Yeah, that's what I said. Then I saw you start crashing funerals. Like wedding crashes, but it's funerals. I saw that section all over. Yeah, I was saying. You pulled over. I'm sorry for your crashes, but it's funerals. I saw that section all over.

Yeah, I was saying. You got pulled over. I'm sorry for your loss, but your loss is my gain. I'm taking that lamp. How much for the dinette set? All right, so his WA president, Mark McKenzie, said variations from the standard hearse are becoming more common.

A lot of the funeral directors trying to provide a point of difference and provide options for the clients. Hey now, whether this is different, okay, here we go. Whether it's different or just a different way for the company to move to the funeral home, the church, this is where it's being held.

Oh, there we go. There's a motorcycle for you, bud. That is fucked. Oh. That actually looks evil. It does look evil. It looks like a twisted metal character. If you did that in like a Mad Max thing.

Oh, sure. God, that's what I'm talking about right there. Anyways, so just really cool. Anyways, so that's it. Modified vehicles, the Pambulos, South of Sydney. Hammond creates customized horses that are sent around the country. They worked with a variety of you.

We got a Jaguar that's about to go out the door. Fords, Holden's, Hyundai Palisade. Who's saying, you know what? Drive by, when I go out, I'm going out in a Hyundai. Hyundai Palisade. Is one that we're doing a few of now. I mean, look at this crazy. I said, whoa!

Look at that! Die inside my Hyundai. Wow. Can't spell Hyundai without the word die in it. That's true, wow. We put the die in Hyundai, come on. What generally happens is the client will send us their vehicle, just their standard truck, we strip it out, that could be a show.

Pimp my hearse. Yeah. Pimp hearse or hearse my ride. Hearse my ride. I'm gonna go ride or die. Ride or die. Ride or die. We gotta do this.

We strip it out, we cut it in half, manufacture all the strength in the new panels and the wiring and the whole thing. And that's what they do, man. It's crazy, a custom Land Rover? What? Whoa. Into this business, this is great.

That's crazy. Also fun, like again, Jay's story about us going to Ted Drew's was the opposite of what you expect to do in a funeral moment. But the truth is there's plenty of time to grieve. And in the moments you're, this is what I think you're getting out with your bit is that, and you go to a funeral in New Orleans, they're dancing

in the streets playing music. I've said for a long time, I want Al's beef catered, an open bar and a Chicago cover band. That's right. What's that horn section starts going? He was a man, yes he was, now he's dead and I told you so. 502364. Yeah, Saturday in the park. Does anybody really know what time it is? All pre-Satera by the way, pre-Satera. Pre-Satera.

So amazing. That's just, I think it's cool and it should be a celebration of life and we'll end it right there. We're going to take a break. We come back. We'll tell you what we have going on. And then Jay, can you give us a little tease of what we're going to hear? A guy tries to get creative with how he tries to get out of a situation with cops. I love it.

Dean Dale Ray is our guest. He's got a special that you all have to watch on YouTube. 5836, which is the number of the set that he was doing. And how many sets he's done. Produced by Bill Burr and directed by Bill Burr. have to watch on YouTube 5836 which is the number of the set that he was doing and how many sets he's done. Produced by Bill Burr and directed by the great Marcus Russell Price who did the Keith Robinson one recently and the Jessica Kersen. Oh that's a great one. Unbelievable. Alright so check that out and all of his dates we'll be right back with the final story on Dumb People Town. Stick around, make a sound, there's more Dumb People Town.

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See Cypher complete details. Hey gang, welcome back to the show. Before we jump into, I love it. Before we jump into our last story, we've got lots of dates and stuff that we have coming up that we just kind of put together. Yeah. So you guys post. Yeah. We're staring at a summer. Busy boys. Well, we just didn't have we just kind of put together. Yeah, I saw your guys' posts. Yeah, we were staring at a summer with-

Look at those busy boys. Well, we just didn't have a lot going on this summer. And then we're like, oh, we gotta book some stuff. Cause everything kept getting pushed. We're like, let's leave it open cause you might do a theater run of our two man show, which is looking like more of a possibility maybe down by the South Coast, at South Coast rep we'll see.

But we might- I wish you guys would do a night in Chicago. I know. Just take over the big theater at the Lincoln Lodge. Let's run that baby. I know, maybe. Well, no, we can't because you're gone. But let's figure it out.

But here's what we got. On June 6th, we've moved our Taggart show to June 6th. Dean Del Rey is gonna be on the show. Sadly, Dan's gonna be out of town. He was on the other one. So that's. 82nd annual family reunion. You gotta get it.

We're gonna get you on another one. But that one's gonna have Dean Del Rey, Felipe Esparza, Chris Fleming. Like it's such a great grouping of comedians and people. In the original room. In the original room. In the original R, which is gonna be fire. Let's pack that bitch out.

We're gonna do that there. And then we're on this Northwest run that I'm so excited about. With Sean Jordan. With Sean Jordan. All fantasy everything. I love him. So we're doing the Polaris Hall in Portland really cool room that motion cash Wednesday or Wednesday June 18th and the 19th we drive up to

Bellingham and we do a show up there and looks like those tickets are really selling hopefully we'll be able to sell that show out then we come down to Chehalis there's a theater down in Chehalis which is really cool we're doing that theater on that Friday the 20th and then the 21st we drive down to Shehalis, there's a theater down in Shehalis, which is really cool. We're doing that theater on that Friday the 20th and then the 21st we drive up to Everett, which is like 30 miles north of Seattle. Historic Everett theater, it's about 790 seats. We sold a bunch so far. It's starting to move and so hopefully in this last month we can like sell that thing out. Superscalars.com for that. But we're gonna go to Houston and do, actually the

next weekend we're gonna be in San Jose. We've never played rooster teeth feathers, weirdest, funniest name for a club ever, but it's a great club. 50 seats. It's really kind of tight and it's really fun. Thursday, the 27th, 28th, 29th and 30th. So we do Thursday one show one show Friday, two Saturday and one Sunday. If we sell them out, then we'll add another one on Friday. But again, so that very excited to go to San Jose and do that show. And then we're doing Houston in the middle of July, the punchline. No, we're going to do the secret group.

I love our buddy. So we may do one night there on one night in Dallas. We're working that out right now. And then in August we are going to be in Phoenix at CB live, which is, which is the old desert ridge improv, ridge improv, which I'm super stoked to do that. Cause we've done the attempt to be improv and we've done standup live, excited to play this club. And that's happening August 14th through the 16th and a bunch of dates in the fall. And like we said, we're looking to try and do a run of, uh, our two man show, the born identity,

possibly at South Coast. How long is that show? That's like an hour 30 an hour 30 our 25 hour 20 are you running video behind it or anything yeah a little bit of not so much but a couple of video things but pictures and stuff right man we just shot a movie this this past weekend a short film with our buddy Jonathan kite who's amazing great and we were in this like studio at this place called practical magic they had like a $500,000 LED wall. And I was like, okay, that's what we need. That needs to be our backdrop for our show. That's all you need.

Literally, that's all you need because you can put so much stuff in there and whatever. It was super cool. So anyway, superspongebob.com for all that. Sorry about all that. All right, here we go. This was sent in by Jay at Dance Dad 911. Oh no.

Or 911. I say 911. Dance Dad 9-11. Or 9-1-1. I say 9-11. Dance Dad emergency. Never forget where he was. Which by the way, Gerty has joined the show. Hey. Hey girl. Yeah.

She's looking for some bottled water. Yeah, can we get her some bottled water, some Evian or anything? This dog will not speak on the microphone. Let's say that's fine. Okay, here we go, here's the headline. Man who led police on car chase offers deputies a vodka spritzer asked if they had fun during pursuit

Like on some level yes, it's wrong to lead because you could you could you could be somebody else they could be hurt It's wrong. Yes, but as you finish the chase and you get there and everyone's safe And you guys like a spritzer you gotta commend this guy for at least like, you guys have fun? He likes life. Yeah. I'm now in the blue like life. Let me ask you something, did you guys have fun?

Did you guys have fun? You guys want a bump? Ha ha ha! I like a spritzer with a bump. Sure, a spritzer, yeah, one up and one down. That's what I did before I led you guys on a chase. All right, here we go. Deputies in Florida were shocked when a man

they were chasing in a vehicle offered them a drink and asked them if they had fun during their pursuit. According to the Highlands County Sheriff's Office. Shocked? This is Florida. Anything's possible. Nothing should shock you in Florida. Zero.

The incident started on Saturday afternoon when a convenience store reported that a man stole several items. So that was his first. Right. That's move number one. Beef sticks. Convenience store. That's worth a chase. Did you say beef sticks? Yeah. A that was his first. Right. That's move number one. Beef sticks. Convenient store. That's worth a chase. Yeah. Did you say beef sticks? Yeah.

100%. A whole handful. That was at least somewhere in there. A handful of slim gems and we're out of here. So it's malt liquor. Yeah, it's malt liquor, handful of slim gems. Like I'm going on a run, I'm going on a... Too lot of... Try to catch me in my trans am. Right. Maybe cans of those spritzers, you know, because that's what is maybe crack fun. propane lighter. Yeah, that's right. Officials identify the suspect. I won't tell you his name as Richard Christopher Smith of his age. I won't tell his age. Sorry. I won't tell his age. Richard Christopher Smith. I won't tell you his name. His name is Richard Christopher Smith. I won't tell you his RCS.

As deputies were on the way, they told Smith, they were told Smith was in a black minivan driving in circles around the store. How much do you love this guy? He's just a good time. That thing could be a hearse. Do you know how a cartoon character in the things is running in place for a while before they get up the speed to take off

and then a smokeout line? That's all he's doing. He's getting in circles so he can then take off. Straight three stooges. When deputies arrived, Smith allegedly sped off, like Randy said, leading on a chase that ended several miles later in a parking lot at the Sebring Airport.

Where is he going? He's about to jump on his jet back to Columbia. A body cam video show, let me ask you this. All right, both of you guys. You show up to a convenience store just to get whatever That's right. A body cam video show. Let me ask you this. All right, both of you guys. Sure. You show up to a convenience store just to get whatever you gotta get. Yeah.

And someone in a black van is just doing circles. Circling it. Oh, I'm immediately on Instagram. Immediately. Yeah. You're viral video. What? We're going live.

Look at this fucking. I'm gonna commentate this from over my shoulder. I gotta see how this ends. Dan stands in the center of the circle and every time he comes around he's like, are we all right? Are you good? You good buddy?

Checkered flag. You good bud? Lucky one. Yeah. A body cam video from a deputy show Smith at one point holding out a can of Kettle One vodka spritz. Thank you, I was right, he got the cannabis. Out the window as he drove by the deputy.

As the deputy asked Smith to stop, he responded, I was just gonna give you a drink that's it kept driving I was just gonna I was just I'm so glad you're here cuz that is yeah that's like the most drunk thing you could possibly do is the thing that you built up in your head that they don't know that you're doing and you're like, this is obvious. Zero test needed. No blood test, no blow in the straw. Just by saying that, he blew a point, like, two. Yeah, absolutely. But it's like when you catch your kid doing something wrong,

I mean, I hate to say it's from a Cosby bit, but that bit of like, he catches his kid grabbing a cookie off the top shelf and he's like, what are you doing? He's like, I was just getting it for you, daddy. Like, that's it, that's it. It's like such a little kid response. That's such an early lie. In a minivan, by the way.

Is there a family in there? He should be arrested for doing a version of a Cosby bit. That's right, right? The chase continued and Deputy said, part of that, giving someone a drink. I mean, attempted, never do that. Okay, then the chase continued and Deputy Zed Smith attempted to ram two patrol vehicles.

So now he's not offering drinks anymore. He's offering dicks. Amid getting all four tires flattened on the spike stripper. Of course, there you go. After crashing, video shows Smith casually getting out of the minivan while puffing on a cigarette, trying to walk away.

He doesn't listen to commands to put his hands up. Comes out with a heater. It goes, hey, you guys have fun? on a cigarette trying to walk away. He doesn't listen to commands to put his hands out. He comes out with a heater. I could've snicked. Fucking ass. Hey, you guys have fun? He gets tased by deputies. For ass. After Smith is placed in handcuffs, he has to deputies.

You guys had fun though, right? That's so nice. I love that he, that feels like he needed that for his own self-esteem. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that was fun. I did good though, right? Right, yes.

He definitely gave them a story that they tell every day. Every fucking day. So in a sense, they did have fun. They did have fun, now that it's over. Strange things happen all the time when you're in law enforcement. This one, however, might make the books. Is that a phrase?

I've never heard that phrase. It might make the books. This is one for the ages. This is one for the ages. This is good. Put that down in the, put that in the books. This, we put it in this, that one's, but this might make the books. Not even saying it is gonna make the books. Also bookmaking is betting, so it might make it.

The Highlands County Sheriff's Office wrote in a Facebook post. They continued, we would be very interested to hear from anyone else who has been offered a vodka spritzer by their suspect in the middle goal In the middle of vehicle pursuit. Yeah, probably no one anyone else out there been offered a vodka spritzer Yeah, the guy so was fun I got two thumbs and has been offered a vodka spritzer in the middle of it. Do you have a picture of him? Yeah, I there's a link to the video All right

Smith was charged with two counts of aggressive assault on law enforcement officer battery on a law enforcement officer two counts of resisting arrest DUI refusal to submit to a DUI test and petite theft Yeah, what did he steal petite that's what I want What do you think his bond was set at and then we'll guess his age 50,000 25,000 10. 25,000. 10K. What do you got? Get your answers in.

120,000. Whoa! That's how much they fear this cat. Ramming the police. He did ram into the police. Should I go to this and try to see if I can get a photo image of him? Yeah, whatever you want.

All right, so as you're doing that, we'll guess how old he is. How old do you think this cat is? Well, many,? Well many well here's an image. Oh, oh shit What you're fine hold on here we go classic Jade not knowing how to work to think the page loaded like a huge ad It's not just full. Yeah, it is Jay's fault Jav any fun. Let's see. That's the guy So you could be Dean Dale right cousin. I like his choice of pledge. Just like on that. He's not Doug Stan Hope he's Doug Stan no hug lay down. I had a plaid. I thought it was a plaid hoodie

Those are always choice for your meth aficionado a little blood on the forehead looks I just got out of a job or in a WWE. I just gave you vodka spritzer Look at what do you think third? I think 37 I say 36. I was just kidding you, Vodka Spritzer. Look at that guy. What do you think? I think 37. I say 36. I'm gonna go 46. Whoa, Danny looks good for 46. You're right, this is drug-aid.

I mean, this guy's got a smile on his face. Drug-aid. A little bun. He's fucking 10. I'm gonna change, can I change? Yeah, change. I said 36, he said 27. I said 27.

I'll go 32. Okay, 32. I'm going with the meth-induced aging. Yeah, it's fair. Receding hairline and everything. All right, get your answers in. Check out 5836, amazing special, and then go see Dean live. Come see us live.

Come see Dean with us at the Comedy Store on June 6. Go see Dan. All the great things, and listen to his broadcast. DannyofBankHe podcast.com this man Was or is it was is fair because it's soon to be was You want a vodka spritzer on the freeway in a chase start ramming cars 39 years old There's no way that's his first arrest No, no Fuck or his last

There will be more So my there will be blood that's his favorite arrest He's the one that's telling me honestly. I took him for a fucking run. What's the point of doing it? He can't have fun Did you guys had fun though right and I asked this to all of our fans who are listening show did you have fun? You guys had a lot of all right Dean Dale raised our to all of our fans who are listening to the show. Did you have fun? You guys had fun though, right? Dean Del Rey is our guest. We had such a great time.

Go check out his special. We love you. And oh snap, we got to get back to work. Peace. See you. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town.