Dumb People Town - Doug Benson - This Image Showed Up With Nudity

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

Comedian and podcaster Doug Benson (https://douglovesmovies.com) stops by as Jason describes a cop that was watching porn as his cruiser hit a parked car, Randy explains why a bride was furious after finding out a wedding prank she pulled was real, and Daniel warns against reading police cars a little too literally, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsor: BetterHelp! Write your story, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/DPT today to get 10% off your first month.

Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware they lack in race and sometimes choose the life they choose. We'll make the news breaking down each epic fail. In Florida there's half price bail. I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast Dan with co-host Armand Dan. Man, heard you call me a jerk. This is where the music gets the funny hits and wins. So listen to our podcast jam with co-host Armand Dan.

Members, don't be a jerk, because when the music hits the funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, Dumb or Down is Dumb People Town. Hey, Downies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population, you. Population, Benson. Robert Guillaume

No, it's the ensign Doug Benson. How are you? You know, I I think I'm gonna outlive the references to Robert Guillaume, it's really Doesn't happen and there was a there was a period of time where we weren't sure No, it's just like the Benson that would come to mind but now now you now Benson's are rampant, like I keep seeing there's multiple Bensons in standup, and I think a few of them are, most of them are ladies. Really, lady Bensons? Yeah, there's like an Abigail Benson.

Cedric Benson was a running back from Cedric the Entertainer's real name is Cedric Benson. No way. Yeah, I don't know, that would be great if it was. That would be too weird. That would be way too weird. Cedric Benson. No way. Yeah, I don't know, that would be great if it was. That would be too weird. That would be way too great. Cedric Douglas Benson. Let's get into a story.

Cedric hates movies. He does not have a podcast, Cedric hates movies. Let's do this. Let's get into it, the world is still dumb. We'll get into how you can come see Doug and us at SketchHas. We'll talk about that later. But right now, I have story number one, sent in by Randy Sklar at Sklar. We'll talk about that later. But right now, I have story number one,

sent in by Randy Sklar at Sklar Brothers. I sent in the story. Oh, nice. He seemed anxious. I found a story and I sent it in and Jay took it. Jay took it and ran with it. He wants to get to it as quickly as possible. I want to get right to it.

Let's get to it. Oh, I'm getting to the show. Is that all right if I get right into the show? Yes, I love it. Okay, here we go. Here's the headline. Cop watching porn at time of crash. At his crash?

The stock market? I don't know. I know. I don't know. His boner? How's that his responsibility? Right? He can't be responsible for the financial systems.

He's on duty. Well, let's get into it. Dan, let me ask this question. Dan, you work out at gyms. I just went to a gym the other day. Work out at a gym. The amount of time that, I literally was on yesterday, the amount of time that people are on their phones

between sets is, it's insane. It's insane. I've seen people doing leg machines on their're on the phone. Yeah as they're Firing off a tweet like a text birds one stone. I guess You just gotta make sure each pumping motion happens in conjunction with some good thing that you're saying on the phone I'll meet you at four Is that a good idea? Yes like on the way in saying on the phone, I'll meet you at four. Eeeh! Is that a good idea? Yes! Like on the way in, comment on the way out.

Subscribe! Oh, he's doing like a YouTube podcast? Here we go, this guy, a Florida cop, Florida, was watching pornography on his phone when he slammed his patrol car into a vehicle stopped ahead of him, according to an internal affairs report that accused the deputy of initially lying about the incident. If I was in the vehicle, I'd be like,

what did I do wrong? Right? Initially, you're like, well, I did something. Why am I? I suppose he will never know what he was watching. Or will we? Or will we? Oh, really?

Daniel? Oh, boy. What time of day you think there are nights that you think this crash was? Oh, if this feels sunshiny. Afternoon? Yeah. Yeah.

I'll guess, I'll guess. 2 p.m.? I'll guess 2.30 in the afternoon. What, just there at 2 p.m.? No, no, no, Doug, what do you think? Well, you know. Feels sunshine, right, Doug? Yeah, maybe 4.30?

Yeah, 4.30 in the afternoon. I would say it's. Long days there in Miami. Yeah, I definitely30. Yeah, 430. I was say it's long days Yeah, I definitely The Sun Florida Florida somewhere my son is out. Yeah It's a beautiful day. You don't pull this when the when it's nighttime. No, you just pull over you pull yourself Yeah, I would say 10 a.m The chances in okay this 1 45 p.m. Crash Accord two months ago at a Lake County intersection and prompted the cop to resign his post in the midst of the office of

Professional standards review. I don't know that he should about full. That's resignable Yeah on the scope of stuff where you're like that cop should resign Which tells me he's been watching porn like while he was arresting people like he did, like he just caught me on the one time but I've done it so much. But this feels like a suspension. You're gonna quit? Yeah. You're gonna quit because you support sex workers? Yeah. He's supporting an industry. He might have been paying. Maybe he's into autoerotic asphyxiation and he was the one saying, I can't breathe. Auto-mobile erotic affixiation. Wasn't there a movie called Crash

before the Oscar crash? Oh. That was like a... Oh yeah, that was the one with James Spader and James Cronenberg. Yes. Where they had sex with cars. Yeah, in car accidents.

In car accidents. In car accidents, had sex while they're going into a car accident. Right, but also somebody's wound gets screwed, I believe. Yeah, it gets, it gets. So does speaking. Oh my God. A wound screwing.

I decided screwed would sound better than fucked in the case of wound. A wound screwing. It gives him a wound. That's a good old, that's like a barn raiser. That's an old fashioned wound screwing. I saw wound get screwed at Ozfest 2002, yeah. Did you call somebody?

No, wound get screwed is a good band. Woundscrew opened up for tool at, the Amish will only do a good old fashioned woundscrewing the first of every second month. Yes. The first of every non-odd month. Terry McComber is the guy's name. McComber?

I'm not gonna give you his age. Terry McComber? Don't. See, puts the cum in McComber. Initially offered various explanations for his distracted driving. He claims. You gotta stick to one story, you're a cop, you know this.

Claims to have been on the phone with another officer at the time of the crash. You can't do that. And contended that the squad car had mechanical issues. That again. I was having trouble uploading my porn right so I called another officer He's working through this idea. Yeah, why wouldn't you just go I sneezed He would he would go on to claim that he had been exchanging texts with fellow officer shut up

They're all watching the same boy. Are you getting this driving around? Patrolling Shut up. Now we're rolling. They're all watching the same porn. Are you getting this? Driving around. Right. Patrolling. Putting the trolling in pro trolling, okay. Patrolling him jelly. However, investigators reviewed dash cam and body worn footage that contradicted the deputy's story. Cop cars are like casinos.

There are cameras everywhere. It's like, so this is the dashcam and the body armor photo and and footage is gonna put an end to watching Porn on the job, but like if the unless he has the volume up what you know working in this case Yeah, exactly who knows what he's no one needs to know what he's looking at Well, unless the volumes about the volumes gotta be up for him This guy's gotta have the video recorded the cruiser stealing real airbag deploying Wow, man, that's how hard he hit this car. That's how hard he he likes to hit it hard. Yeah And McComber telling the how old female motorist whose Toyota Corolla he hit quote my brakes locked up

So he's now another excuse my brakes locked up I was texting other officers while my car was having mechanical difficulties, and I was calling other off How old is she the girl? Yeah? 19 years old The woman he had like a 26 They're really up the ante on this story if he was stalking a 19 year old in the story if he was stalking a 19 year old. And crashed into her. It's like a Ben Stiller plot.

That he's like following too closely behind because he's stalking her. And then smashes into her. And you're like, is this a comedy? I don't know. And he's only watching like butt porn and it's called, the movie's called Rear Ended. That's correct.

Well that's why I was thinking it might have been his excuse is that someone was getting rear-ended on his computer on the screen. So he just. He's got to be. That's why he had to rear-end this woman's car. He had to commiserate. Yeah, he's trying to make it real.

Keep it real, James Spader. Two rear. Wood screwing. Two rear, two endy. Thanks for everything, Julie Neumar. I like a good end. I'm gonna stick with 26. What'd you say, 19? I said 19.

Did you say, Doug? Oh, we're guessing? Yeah, her age. No, I just ran with 19 like it was a fact. I ran with it like I read it on X. That was a fact. Um, oh, we're guessing how old, well, we don't have any clues right?

No, this is Toyota Corolla. Toyota Corolla. Oh well. Sensible car. That sounds like a, yeah that sounds like the car of a 22 year old. All right, get your answers in, she was 63. Oh wow.

Come on. He had a 63 year old woman. She's been. Florida Highway Patrol report prepared at the time of November 6 crash day that McComber Was inattentive and drove in a careless and negligent manner He's watching report estimated damage to the police vehicle at how much do you want to guess? Ring it up as a city vehicle 20,000. Yeah, I was good That's I was gonna go high to about $30,000. They're just total it. Yeah Oh, if this is prices right style, I'd say a dollar

Okay $10,000 day what? And the damages to the Toyota Corolla How much eight thousand that's why the whole Corolla? Oh, I don't know How good that back end is? Yeah, I might have just got the back end. That's what he was saying as he was watching. How good is it? The engine was probably not affected and that's where the money really starts to pile up, right?

Sounds like a man who's rear-ended somebody before. I've been rear-ended. Been rear-ended, see you now. Multiple times. Really? You walk away from a rear-ending. Yeah, you do. The airbags don't deploy.

No, you walk differently. You're limping. You walk a little differently. Okay, so You don't trust people Driven by a 63 year old woman used-ass car 200,000 miles on it. So I would bet they couldn't get much for it out of the insurance 4,000 yeah, I'm thinking around that range like I'll go five grand five guys at eight. What do you say Dan? I'm gonna say

6300 okay one of you is exactly I'm gonna switch mine to Doug's you're gonna switch to switch to five I mean, I just would have like I want to feel the glory of it. I want to switch mine to whatever the right answer whatever the right answer is. Alright, get your answers in because it was $5,000. Yay! Doug Benson knows. You even said $4,000 and I almost disagreed with you. I know, Doug Benson knows his rear ending.

Good man. McComber eventually admitted that he was on his phone, quote, looking at inappropriate pictures. He can't even say what it is. He's not just looking at pictures. Just say what it is. Which he further described as pornographic material like boobs or whatnot. Like boobs or whatnot.com.

That's how whatnot gets you in trouble. Whatnot is, you're like, whoa, whatnot, and then slam. Smash. Where did that Cobra come from? They were like boobs. Babe, I love when you send me that whatnot photo. Ooh, are you on whatnot? That's the only way I can text people out of the car. That's the only way you can come from now on

Like it's in a car crash. It's all watching for Doc and Marty having to get the car to exact speed to Go back in time. He needs to smash into something just right. This is like Yeah, we're going we don't need This is like when I'm ordered to go gasmo. Yeah. Where we're going, we don't need hoes. One point 21 gigawatts. It doesn't even say it's professional points. This should just be his situationship texting him.

Yeah. That's it? Did it just say I, McCommer stated that he was looking at images that contained nudity. Why? Shut up. But he keeps talking. So there's no sound.

Just say I looked at my phone. Also, images that contain nudity puts it on the image a little bit. Yeah. This image showed up here with this nudity. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I wanted other images. Does this image not know that I'm at work, working, driving right now? I'm going back to Bing.

I was working hard trying to eradicate. I was like, wait a minute, what is this image doing? I got to stop this situation, then I want it. Not only does it have nudity, it contains whatnot. And it's in my face, and I'm driving, and now I have to look at it, and boom, I get into an accident. The man's never seen whatnot in person in his life.

No, there's no way he's ever dealt with a whatnot. As far as why he said that his car had a defective anti-lock braking system, Comer admitted that the claim was more of a deflection than a genuine reason for the vehicle crash. Can't you say that? He's definitely said that many times after sex or an early, that was like early ejaculation.

He has the tendency to admit the pornography viewing, he said that was lying by omission and that it happens to a lot of men. What? He didn't say it. I added that. So what's his answer to why were you driving up so fast on somebody that just using your foot

to break the car isn't enough? Right, insane. Anti-lock brakes? I mean, look, if that woman who sent in these photos thought that he wasn't into her. Now. He is now. She's like, I just wanna be with a guy in uniform and he's like, not anymore.

But she's like, I don't even know if you like me. He's like, I drove into a car. I lost my job. I had to push my badge across a desk to somebody for you. This is crazy to me. You tell me what's going on now. This is the beginning of a great, a Beverly Hills Cop Five. The Internal Affairs probe.

Smash it and then you still know all the information you're trying to solve the crime from outside the system. We have a probe and a rear ending. Okay, I just want you to know the Internal Affairs probe. Found that McComber was in violation of several professional standards, including departure from the truth. Is that a movie? I brought the truth and then it departed. Departure from the Truth. Is that a movie? I brought the truth and then it departed.

Departure from the Truth does sound like the Pelican, like a sequel to the Pelican Brief. Yes, 100%. It's a Grisham novel. It is, Departure from the Truth. Julia Roberts. And he also, and the prohibited use of an electronic device. You don't understand, it's the Pelican Brief.

Her saying the term Pelican brief. Because there's not even supposed to have some sort of device that they're looking at that's not police. No! Well, so he would be. You know, information. Correct, McComar, who became a Lake County Sheriff

in 2021 and has not been charged with a crime. But we're gonna get out of here on this and I can show you his picture from far away. Oh, I see him. Okay, he looks like Gronk. He looks like baby Gronk. How old? and I can show you his picture from far away. Oh, I see him. I see him. He looks like Gronk. He looks like baby Gronk. How old, we'll get out on this, is Tristan McComber.

He's 25 years old. 25 years old, Daniel Van Kirk says. Did you say what he does for a living? He's a cop. He's a what? Oh, right, right. He was in uniform. In uniform, what? No, right. What is on in uniform in uniform on duty? Yes Since 2020 he has only that picture. I suddenly was like now we talking about American Psycho

It's maybe I don't know guys all suited Rittenberg. He looks like for the trial written house Kyle written house. He was Would you say 25 I Think he realized he doesn't want to be a cop can I see the picture again, of course, can I buy a vol? Yeah, that's pretty good a rough 25 It's Florida Florida 25. I'm gonna say 31. Oh Let's say 33. Oh Okay, get your answers in we come back, we'll talk about how you can see Doug Benson and us in our upcoming shows.

Tristan McComber, airbags deployed. Sure. Nudity appeared, came up in the images he was looking at. It's not his fault. Nudity contained. What not? 28 years old. Oh!

28 years old. So Dan, and I think Randy's next. I don't know, I'm just trying to fix it. Oh, sorry. There you go. That's story number one in the books. Doug Benson is with us. Yeah, we'll take a break.

We'll come back and find out what he's got going on. This is Dumb People Time with Doug Benson. Stick around, make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey gang, welcome back to the show. Doug Benson is with us. He finally looks as stoned as he is. All right, let's talk. It has all come together.

Before we get into Doug, we'll tell you what we're doing and then he can tell you where we crisscross. He can piggyback on top of it. Randy and I, at the end of this month here in LA, on the 29th, we're gonna do a ramp up show at The Crow upstairs in their little little theater of our two man show, which we are doing at SketchFest on February 1st, which is Saturday at 4 p.m.

The Gateway Theater, it's called The Bourne Identity, B-O-R-N. We undid the pun, undid the pun. But really good fight, your choreography in both positions. Oh my god, he's Jason Bourne. Oh my god, that's Jason and Randy Bourne. Oh my god, he's Jason Bourne. No, that's actually Randy Bourne. That's Randy Bourne. Ah! Daniel. That's Jason Borne. No, that's actually Randy Borne. That's Randy Borne.

Ah! Daniel. That's so funny. So it is a show about identity. It has our comedy. It's a two man show that we're hoping to maybe someday take to have a theater run of. And we had a really fun run of it here in LA.

It was great. We're doing it at Sketch Festival. The bigger theater, the better for it because of all the parkour action. A little tons of parkour up in the crowd. It's like Starlight Express. We're very excited. So come see that, Tandon.

Starlight Express without the skates or the songs. But three t-shirt cannons. Without the Express. We're very excited about this show. We put a lot of work into it. And then later that night, we're doing Tag It. And this guy's going to be on our show. At Cobb's Comedy Club, I believe 10 PM on Saturday night.

Ooh, that's fun. It's a late night show. It guy's gonna be on our show. At Cobbs Comedy Club at, I believe, 10 p.m. on Saturday night. Ooh, that's fun. It's a late night show. It's gonna be so much fun. It might be the last, second to last day of the whole festival, but the last Saturday night of the festival. So we're very excited. I don't love the word last these days. Okay, well then the...

It starts to sound like something very, very sad. Penultimate, penultimate. It's gonna keep going. The festival will always be. The festival will be. And Tag It is always welcome. Always welcome. Where we get on stage and we pitch tags to our friends' hilarious jokes.

Amazing lineup. Amazing lineup. Who's on it? Robbie Hoffman's on the show. Yeah. Tommy Lennon. Tommy Lennon's on the show. Arden Morin is on the show.

Doug Benson's on the show. Great comics, so much fun. It's gonna be a blast. And we sit on stage and write tags for everybody's jokes. So come see both of the show. Doug Benson's on the show. Great comics, so much fun. It's gonna be a blast. And we sit on stage and write tags for everybody's job. So come see both of the shows. Who are we missing? There's gotta be one more, right? I think there's one more.

I can't remember who the last one is. Gallagher, I think, back from the dead. I don't know, I'm not affiliated. Somebody else, we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. We oughta figure it out by show time. I'll look it up while you're saying. Find out who's on your show.

I will. I've got shows there. I out who's on your show. I will. I've got shows there. Like I'm going show crazy up there. When do you get there? I get there Saturday and the day of your thing. I think I probably arrive around the time of your show. So condolences on that front. That's all right.

But then from there I'm just doing shows nonstop. Great. You're doing an interruption. I'm just doing shows non-stop great. I just say you're an interruption I have to in a Douglas movies. Okay, do an Arden's podcast. Yes doing Jenny Yang's podcast great It's crazy. You're doing tag. You're the only show. I'm gonna walk away from with new some tags. Yes Well, we've tagged your stuff before and you're great at it and and You've gone. It's not you've used some of those tags Hopefully they some of them one of them one of Pulitzer and I should have mentioned you stop it at the time

But I was just like this is mine You're not doing a movie watch No movie watch this year because Kate. McCoochie is the other person Who I don't know what she's gonna sing a cute song and you're gonna go, here's where you went wrong, Kate. Jenny Yang, Doug Benson, Arden Marine, Kate Mccoochie, Tom Lennon, that's an unbelievable lineup. Ooh, that's so good.

Cannot wait. That's gonna be a great, great, great show. Plus you never know who's gonna come by. Yeah, it's a festival. You know, it's a tea ball. You don't wanna be like, I wanna go up there. Dave Chappelle, John Cleese, they will all be on this show. Plus you never know who's gonna come by. Yeah, it's a festival. You know, it's a festival. You tag anybody you see. I wanna get up there. Dave Chappelle, John Cleese. Yeah, you'll tag it.

They will all be on this show. John Belushi will be there. We'll tag everybody. You care what their political views are? You'll care if they're alive or not? Did you say John Belushi? John Belushi. John Belushi.

And he's gonna be doing all Jim Belushi material. And whatnot. Sean Puffy Combs. They'll all be there. According to John. All of it. All of our stuff is at They'll all be there. According to John. All of it. All of our stuff is at superschoolers.com.

Doug Benson, dougbenson.com? No. No. Douglovesmovies.com. Douglovesmovies.com. Yeah, douglovesmovies.com. Perfect. Just see Doug.

He's phenomenal in everything he's in. Check out his schedule at SketchFest in San Francisco and check his website for more things. Randy, wanna get to the next? Let's jump into this one right here, okay? Sent in by Ultra Gleam. U-L-T-R-A-G-L-E-E-M. I use that on my teeth.

Yeah, I do. Brides Fury after Instagram stunt wedding turns out to be real. Wait, what? Doug, your third wife. Was angry that you tricked her into marrying her. Is that correct? Instagram stunt wedding?

So she, I'm gonna explain it. I can't even follow that. I'm gonna follow it. I think I can follow it. Let me see if I can guess it. So a guy who's like a YouTuber was like, come do this like stunt with me. We're's like a YouTuber was like, come do this like stunt with me. We're doing like a joke wedding thing. And

she's like, all right, I'll do it, but probably was unwilling to do it. Then she does it. And then afterwards, she's like, okay, I did your dumb stunt. And then he's like, Oh, no, we're married. We're actually married. She signed the marriage license. I don't know. You can get an annulment. So but you are then married. Those are a pain in the ass to get though. You have a failed marriage on your record.

She really fell for it. In the spirit of, and you will love this, in the spirit of forever hold your peace. No, trying to figure something out in the middle of it. My wife and I, we were just on vacation over the break and we were down in Mexico, we were in the hotel, and we started watching in the middle the Fast and Furious episode movie with Jason Momoa in it.

And we haven't watched any of the Fast and Furious, like we've done none of the Fast and Furious. I always think of your famous joke, number 10. Being called. Thank you. So good. But the game we started playing is, and we know nothing about it, is try to explain to the other person what's happening.

Who this is. Who everybody is. What's happening. Mamoa goes for it. He does. But we're like, try and explain how they got- She used to date him. Vin Diesel used to be a CIA guy who was brought in

to bust a ring of stuff that's going- Wrong. Is that what it is? No. No. Like there's bad stuff happening in these street races. He's been a street racer. He's definitely like a quote unquote good guy

who does these incredibly public violent things that lead to many lives being lost. But they keep most of that off camera. Exactly, it's family. It's my family. It's kind of like the Tony Soprano syndrome. Somehow he becomes the hero of the show. Like he's the one you're worried about

if he died or not when the series ends the show. Like he's the one you're worried about if he died or not when the series ends. Like fuck, yeah, that guy. Each movie, and I haven't seen them, is a longer version of those Michelob commercials. Right, exactly. Like local hero. So we just tried to explain it to each other,

knowing nothing, which was the most fun thing. They talk about family a lot. Right, exactly, pH. A woman in Australia has annulled her marriage after realizing that a fake wedding ceremony she took part in on social media stunt was in fact real. And you know when you have a null in Australia, the annulment goes the opposite direction.

That's right. The unknowing bride said that her partner was a social media influencer who convinced her to take part in the ceremony as a quote, prank for his Instagram account. She only discovered the marriage was genuine when he hit her, no. When he tried to use it to gain permanent residency

in Australia. So he's thinking of it like a green card situation. This is a ploy, this is a scam. So he's in his own room doing like confessionals to the YouTube camera being like, I'm gonna, she doesn't know this. Hey guys, we gotta start with hey guys. Hey guys, here in Melbourne.

Hit like and subscribe. No, but listen, this is not from Melbourne. Oh, hit like and subscribe. I'm trying to move to Australia. This chick doesn't know. Like he's calling her this chick. Like anytime he says that, you know that she doesn't know. A Melbourne judge granted the annulment

after accepting the woman was tricked into getting married in a judgment published on Thursday. Bizarre case began September 2023, when the woman met her partner on an online dating platform. There you go, that's a problem. Then they began seeing each other regularly in Melbourne, where they lived at the time. In December that year, the man proposed to the woman,

and she accepted. So he has gone through. They had known each other for two months at that point? I think they... They met in September, right? Yeah, yeah, this is December. And they had known each other for two months at that point? I think they. They met in September, right? Yeah, yeah, this is December. And then in December of that year, he says let's get married.

They were dating and said. And she did say yes and that was not a prank. No. So like if you. You did say yes. If you go through the proper means to say, we're dating and now I wanna marry you. After two and a half months.

That is tricking a person. That is really tricking a person. Oh, this is the long con. So you're saying you love bombed her. Maybe. Two days later, the woman attended an event with a man in Sydney. She was told it would be a white party

where attendees would wear white colored clothing and was told to pack a white dress. This guy's really trying to get her. And she's seemingly dumb enough to go along. When they arrived, she was quote shocked and quote furious, which I think that should have been the 10th one. Shocked and too serious. Shocked and furious.

Too do. To find no other guest present, so instead they got into two streetcars and raced, no. The present, except for her partner, a photographer, the photographer's, a photographer, photographer, a photographer's friend, and a celebrant, according to other deposition quoted in court documents. So when I got there, I didn't see anybody in white.

I asked him what's happening. He then pulled me aside and told me that he's organizing a prank wedding for his social media, to be precise, Instagram. But they are engaged. Because he said yes. She said yes. Because he wants to boost his content

and wants to start monetizing his Instagram page, which you're like, if we're gonna be married, I like the fact that you- You want a roof for me, we're on the same team, our money is each other's money. She then said she had accepted his explanation as he was a social media person who had more than how many followers on Instagram.

So what level, but he can't be that many. He said he wants to monetize. Wants to boost and wants to monetize. So how many? 50,000. I think that's a high guess. High guess? Yeah, and most of the people that follow him

is because he follows them. For sure. The numbers match. The numbers match. Even number. Even number. He follows 48. For sure. The numbers match. The numbers match. Even number. Even number. He follows 48,800 people. No, no.

I bet you this guy has 6,700 followers. Okay, very good. I'll low ball it even further, and I'll say 3,800. 3,800, all right. Get your answers in everybody, because this guy has more than 17,000 followers. Okay, all right.

He's still. Okay, all right, all right. He's working it. How many people does he follow? That's the other thing. 19.4. Yeah, 19.3. 24,000.

She also believed that a civil marriage would be valid only if it were held in a court. Still she remained concerned. A woman friend, the woman rang a friend and voiced her worries, but the friend laughed it off. Can we now blame the friend here? It's not like the friend. So you're telling the woman who can't pick a boyfriend

also can't pick friends? That's right. Said it would be fine because if it were real, they would have to file notice of intended marriage first, which they had not. Okay, reassured, the woman went through the ceremony where she and her partner exchanged wedding vows and kissed in front of the camera.

She said she was happy at the time to quote, play along and make it look real. Is this Mr. Beast? This is how you got started? This is Mrs. Beast. This is his origin story. This is Mrs. Beast? Mr. and Mrs. Beast.

Two months later. There's a new season of Joe Schmo coming out. This could be it right here two months later her partner asked her To add him as a dependent in her application for permanent residency in Australia both of them are foreigners Which you told them she could not as they were technically not married. He never found that out He's the dumbest person in this story Tell me then he then revealed that their Sydney wedding ceremony had been genuine according to the woman's testimony.

The woman later found their marriage certificate and discovered a note of intended marriage, which had been filed the month before the Sydney trip before they even got engaged, he forged it, which she said she did not sign. According to court documents, the signature of the notice bears little resemblance to the woman's.

So this dude did every single conniving thing you can except ask her, can you get me citizenship in this country? That's it. Which is the basic. Idiot. What a dummy, and also, if you are in a relationship with this person, on some level you do say, well at least he's good at planning things.

So on some level, if we do stay together, I could be like, you're handling our summer plans. You handle the summer. You don't have to tell me anything. well at least he's good at planning things. So like on some level, like if we do stay together, I could be like, you're handling our summer plans. You handle the summer. You don't have to tell me anything, just book it. If I feel like going on a nice scheme, you're the guy. You're my guy.

You're the mastermind. Use my little schemer. She's definitely gonna be like, Leave me out of it. Leave me out. He's so cute though. I'm furious with the fact that I didn't know that it was a real marriage

and the fact that he also led me from the beginning, and the fact that he wanted me to add him in my application. That's enough facts. It's too many facts. You have plenty of reasons not to like this guy. I'm also mad at how he slurped his soup. He doesn't look at you when you're talking to him. He also says anyways all the time.

It's anyway, you bitch. Anyways. In this edition, the man claimed that they both agreed to these circumstances and that following the proposal, the woman had agreed to marry him in an intimate ceremony in Sydney. The judge ruled the woman was mistaken about the nature of the ceremony.

Yes. And did not provide real consent in the participation in the marriage. She believes she was acting, which is what most marriages are all about. She called the event a prank. It made perfect sense for her to adopt the persona of a bride

and all the things in the impunged ceremony so as to enhance the credibility of video depicting a legally valid marriage. This is the fallout of an episode of Impractical Jokers. That's right. That doesn't get talked about. It's all funny when we watch it. But then these people's lives are ruined, Sal.

So go up to someone in a store who's feeling a melon and tell them that you have gonorrhea because someone is in your ear telling you to say that, that's funny, but when you trick someone into marrying them, that's not so funny. So that's it, that's the story. There you go. She wins in this one.

She finally won. But isn't he, nobody said otherwise, I assume he wanted to stay married to her even though she couldn't get him residency? Yeah, yeah. I mean, but. This dude is complicated. If he comes clean and is like,

look, I just wanted to be a resident here and I wasn't sure if you were gonna do it with me and. Which she can't. Right, but I mean. What a dumb. That would be the game show. How does he win her back? So all this is the preamble

and then you're like, can this guy in reality. He's got six weeks to win her back. So all this is the preamble, and then you're like, can this guy in reality do it? He's got six weeks to win her back. How does he do it? Oh boy. I mean. Honeymoon. It doesn't sound like it'd be that difficult.

You know? Yeah, she's like, she's been tricked before. Yeah. Yeah, he could really spin it, you know? He could be like, you know, it worked, I got a lot of followers. Like, what is his stick on his social media? Like, what is he doing?

And is the end of TikTok gonna ruin him? I know, the end of TikTok is gonna ruin everyone. Well, it's Australia, so they might still keep it down there. They might. Oh, that's true. They don't care if they're being spied by China down there. I don't think they mind it as much, but I can't be sure. The spying goes in a different direction. Stop it, man. All right, we'll come back after the break.

I have it's another social media. Social media gone wrong. Perfect. And we'll find out what Daniel has going on. Doug Benson's with us. It's Dumb People Town. Don't go anywhere. Stick around, make a sound, there's more to people town. This show is sponsored by Better Hope. Townies, every January brings a brand new slate, 365 days of you being able to say, what do you want to do with yourself this year? Maybe you're ready for a plot twist or maybe there's a part of your story

that you've been wanting to revise. Well, life isn't about resolutions that fade by February, it's about picking up the pen and writing your own story. Think of therapy as your editorial partner helping you write new chapters and create a meaningful story that you deserve to live. I go to therapy, I believe in therapy, I think therapy is great. A lot of times I think people have this idea that therapy is supposed to be hard and bringing up things that are hard to talk about and difficult and challenging. And obviously, yes, it can serve for that as well.

But it's as much about having an opportunity to talk about the positive things in your life. And sometimes I deal with this a little bit. We have a hard time like giving ourselves credit or celebrating, and it can be really good opportunity to take a moment and pat yourself on the back. Talk about what you're working on. Talk about the positive things. Talk about the goals that you have in your life. It's, it's just great.'s just great and it's healthy.

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I always wonder where people, they paused it, they did their thing. If you didn't go anywhere, welcome back. I love it, it was a quick break. Daniel, tell people where they can find you and see you. Your special's almost at 100,000 views, I love it. Yeah, on YouTube. Rose Gold on YouTube.

And then go to danielvankirk.com. I'll be in Milwaukee, I'll be in Denver, I'll be in central Wisconsin, I'll be in New New Orleans and how much further dates to be announced as well So everything's at Daniel van Kirk calm and listen to my podcast right here on all things comedy the midnight air It's an overnight radio podcast drops every Monday night. All right This is sending by Carleen McDermott at she be Carleen wonderful. It's from previous years Takes place in April.

I don't matter. Here's the headline. Yorkshire driver thought follow me on back of police car was an Instagram request. Oh, oh. He followed the person. Wait, I don't understand. On the back of the cop car it said follow me, which I believe and we'll probably get into was to indicate pull over. And the person thought they meant

Hit me up on the gram. Okay, follow me. Okay A Yorkshire driver driver who was pulled over by a police officer believed the follow me sign on the back of his car was an Instagram request Sergeant Paul courting said one of his North Yorkshire colleagues pulled alongside the driver who was on his mobile phone As he pulled alongside the officer illuminated was on his mobile phone. As he pulled alongside, the officer illuminated the follow me sign in the rear of his car. This is a thing. That is a cool thing.

However, it took, quote, some time for the driver to comply with the request. Sergeant Corning said- Because he's trying to follow him on guard. The officer was dumped on- What's your handle? Can you stop watching porn for a second so I can follow you? I looked up at North Yorkshire PD and that is not an account.

The officer was dumbfounded when the driver stopped the car and said, I didn't realize you were. It's North Shore PD loves movies. Right. The officer was dumbfounded when the driver stopped the car and said to the police officer, quote, I didn't realize you were a cop. I thought it was an Instagram request. See, now people think that people address this kind quote, I didn't realize you were a cop. I thought it was an Instagram request.

See, now people think that people address this guy. I didn't realize you're a cop. I mean, is this guy thinking he's being clever by saying that? No, he really thought. It's, you know, you got into this guy's mind. I called him this morning. You got a conversation. I said, hey, dude, we're doing the story.

Maybe he's tricking you as well. Yeah, you never know. Well, I don't know if you guys seen these, but I. I said, hey dude, we're doing the story. Maybe he's tricking you as well. Yeah, you never know. Well, I don't know if you guys seen these, but I- So I followed him. More than once in LA, I've seen wrapped cars with people's social media, like all over it, or they'll do like a decal in their rear windshield that has like their Instagram account.

Follow me. Yes. At Benjamin. But do you think stalkers walk around and they're like, we follow people. You guys think you follow people. We are the OG followers of people Yeah, well, so all you'd have to all it have to be is at and whatever his right Instagram is

Would be what you'd want to promote not to just the file of art with no other information Correct like that's who should have gotten rear-ended. That's right. Yes. He should have just sped up into it It said I'm following you said follow me right also just admit you're drunk If you saw follow me you're like I will right yeah, yeah, I got you I'll throw a few likes your way. Yeah, I'll pound that so I'll go back on old posts You get married anytime soon on this. I like some old things Grab up this done with the archives Go back and like this.

You should pin this old one where you pinned a guy down. Isn't it weird when you suddenly get a like on something that was supposed to be like two years ago? What is happening? It's so funny. Isn't that a Kurt Braun all or bit where he was saying he finds people like that he knows like from somewhere and he scrolls way, way back. Oh yeah, that's very Kurt Brown.

It's such a funny, just one thing, like one thing and then not saying anything. One time when we were- Because it makes you so curious. One time on Twitter, Boy George followed us. And I was like, wait, what? What? Why?

Why? How? Do we have to follow him now? Under what circumstances was Boy George just saying, I need to follow these guys? You came to his algorithm. You know what makes people do it. Plus it's such an easy undo if you get annoyed by them.

Totally. For sure. And I don't know if Boy George has unfollowed us. I guess there's a way to find out. Don't look. Leave the hope alive. Leave the hope alive. I'm gonna kill hope right now.

Send him a DM. Can you send boy to a... Say podcasting and thinking about you. If he did unfollow us, just ask if he really wanted to hurt us. There you go. The driver was given a ticket and a tweet. The sergeant said, you couldn't write this.

Yeah, you can. Yeah, you can. That's not all crazy. It was written in the... It's not crazy. As my colleague came alongside the driver on his mobile phone and illuminated his sign, it took a while for him to comply with the request.

So the guy's over, he's got his mobile phone and he has a follow me sign that he then puts up and is like, follow me. Then the cops wrote, he didn't answer, he then said, I didn't realize you were a cop, I thought it was an Instagram request. Then the cops wrote, hashtag youth of today, hashtag Tory issued. Okay, so did they,

Boy George isn't on Twitter anymore. We chased him from Twitter. I don't think it was you guys that probably got him. No, but he did follow us. We're not making that, I feel like you're skeptical. Let me scratch that, he follows us on true social. But when he followed you, you didn't DM, like hey, thanks for the follow, man.

We did, we did. We were like, see you right back? DM like hey, thanks for the fire. We did we did well. I'd be right back No, you probably listened to the Richard Simmons Cuz that's what weirds me out is when I stumble on somebody's following me and I'll DM them and they don't respond right well Why are we doing here? Yeah? What was the point of that all right well you didn't write back So I assume you're following my dates, which means you better buy a fucking ticket. Exactly, I'll see you in the show.

All right, that's story number three, and a show with Mr. Doug Benson, one of my favorite people in the world. Oh my goodness. So what do you do if a, to me, if someone's on a, because you don't imagine like a cop pulling up and then showing a thing on their phone. What, that feels like a thing.

They didn't, it's a sign in the back of a window. How funny would it be? It feels like a, they're rolled out of the window. But how funny would it be? It's like a readout, you know, one of those digital readout things. How funny would it be if lights come on, cops speeds next to you, makes you roll down your window, and it's like, follow me, and you're like, to the side of the road, no, on Instagram,

and also on TikTok. That person, that's a one way. That's a fun ad for those companies. Sure. I mean they're like, wow. On Facebook. Have that twist. Yeah.

They love getting likes on Facebook though. They like to be funny. Cops love using Facebook. Police love, police are like your aunt. They are very active on Facebook. Very active on Facebook. A lot of all caps. Love Facebook. That's crazy, I never touch the stuff.

Not even Facebook? No. Good for you. That's the one, I've never, I never touch the stuff. Not even Facebook? No, that's the one. I've never signed up for it, so I just never. Can I tell you something? I keep the never train going. Nope, I'm gonna tell you something right now. Get on Facebook. Don't.

Get on Facebook. Read everybody's posts. Don't read a single comment or post. I can do that. Post tons of your standup. Right. And you will reach a whole audience of older stoners or people in their like 50s, 60s. Oh my goodness.

And they will start coming to your shows. Oh my God. People are active on Facebook. I swear to you. It is true. I just look at marketplace. But your standup will go. You love Facebook marketplace.

Oh God. We told you there was an old radio station. Called The Trading Station. Rolled show called The Trading Station, where just people from rural Missouri. In St. Louis. In rural outskirts. Would call up and be like,

I got a dinette set. Yeah, that's my family. We had that in Rochelle. It was called The Trading Post with Mike Green. I still know the theme song by heart. Everybody was trying to sell the theme. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. I still know the theme song by heart everybody was calling trying to see the theme It's a classic song

It's the trading Animated it would be like a little mouse Through a bunch and then everybody was calling in with a you know I got a I got an 8,000 BT you unit air conditioner looking to get rid of it. Still works on high. And then they would want to trade for like a pallet of bricks. Rich Voss used to do the great bit about just crack, see a crackhead on the street. We'll sell you anything. We'll try and sell you anything.

I got an oven door. An oven door. I got an oven door. That would be a great show. Crackhead Trading Station. I'd follow that. I'd follow that, I'd follow that. I would follow that. I would follow that for Crackhead Trading Station.

There you go guys, that's the show. Douglovesmovies.com. Douglovesmovies.com. Come see him and us in San Francisco, see us at four o'clock. Our show at the Gateway Theater, The Born Identity, and then later that, go have dinner and then come see us later that night.

It's gonna be a blast. It's gonna be awesome. We love you and oh oh snap we gotta get back to work