Dumb People Town - Eddie Pepitone - Where Rage Meets Art

Episode Date: November 11, 2025

Comedian, actor, and podcaster Eddie Pepitone (The Collapse) stops by as Daniel describes how man a with a whistling scrotum escaped death, Randy explains why a firefighter dropped "possibly" used tampons on her ex's lawn, and Jason warns against breaking into a stadium for a Diet Coke, and so much more!

Man with whistling scrotum escapes death after bizarre medical emergency. Firefighter dumped 75, quote, possibly used tampons on ex's lawn for dating new girl. Texas man broke into R.S.L. Stadium after hours and stole a diet Coke, charges say. It's dumb people time with the great Eddie Pepitone. Margaret, we'll be right back. Dan and Ran and Jay will share. Tales of folk so unaware They lack in grace

And sometimes choose The life they choose We'll make the news Breaking down each epic bail In Florida There's half-rise bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this up

So listen to our podcast Tram With co-host our man Dan Man dirt Don't be a jerk Because when the music Which the funny hits And we are gonna take you down

Stick around Make a sound, come you down He's Dumb People Town Hey Town He's welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town Population to you Population Pepitone

Eddie Pepitone Welcome to this Welcome to Town Who I saw at the improv and said He's like I can't wait to do Dumb Town with you Perfect And then he called me Randy

And then he called He's not losing it He called me Randy He called me Dan Is that all right You got it You're good He's Randy I'm Jason

He's Dan This is Dumb People Town And we've got the great Eddie Pepitone. We'll talk about his special and a little bit coming out and how you can watch and view it. But we got dumb to get in. Let's get into it right away. Ready. Ready? Ready. Start in by Derek Shipley at

Derek Shipley. Thank you so much for seeing. Been a while. Happy he just sent it in. Welcome back to Here's the headline. I could give you guys all this before you walk on stage and go oh, I don't need my material then. Okay. Man with whistling scrotum escapes death after bizarre medical emergency. How do you know

that that is now something the whistling scrotum? To me also sounds like a place where divorcees get, you know, like where's your town, where'd you get your townhouse? I'm out in Whistling Scrotum. Sounds like the name of an

abandoned creek and like a early treatment for city slickers. It sounds like also a bar in Leeds or Manchester, not one day. Whistling Scotum. And it's all just blue collar guys. Yeah. Welcome to the

Whistling Scrodom. And they have like cuckoo birds that just whistled, but they, and they look like tiny balls. Two balls come out and they're like, on the hour. A nightmare turned into a reality for an Ohio man who was alarmed to hear weird noises coming from his genitals.

Weird noises. Did you just cat call me? No, no, no, no. That was my... It's my nuts. Sorry, that's my... Oh, that makes it better. Yeah. Your genitals got you canceled. It's like having an unruly parakeet in your pants. But let's face it, we're all sitting here. here going that we know what a scrotum is it's just a ball sack right hangs yeah how does that

whistle yeah you get a little when the wind whips through you know how practice how do you get how do you whistle your way to Carnegie Hall practice no but i mean seriously i don't know how a sack of skin and testicles it just in the balls on this guy to try to make us believe the man who heard a hissing noise has been diagnosed as the first person in the world with a quote whistling scrotum according to the alarming new study published in the american journal of case reports you could quit your job at that point and like be like this is what i'm doing from here on now hey did you hear i've got a whistling scroats he does he really he does yeah he can do the star smangle banner can't he it's actually quite patriotic does a lot of andrew bird songs i mean the best

the best hope for you is like rippley's believe it or not Exhibit. America's got talent? Yeah. Simon Cowell. Now that's one whistling. That's not Simon Cowell. It was close.

I thought it was. It's cheeky. I thought you were doing hiding clume. The man, out of breath with a swollen face. No need. Why? Why are you going to take these shots to him? Was rushed.

Breath with a swollen. Was rushed to his local emergency room complaining about his bizarre condition. I have a. How long do you think it took him to be like, like walking across the kitchen? He's like, do you hear that? Do you hear that? Do you? hear, is it me or do you hear Tiny Dancer as well?

I kept thinking I was hearing patience by Guns and Roses and then trying to find it and be like, it's my, it's me, right? When I walk. It's amazing. Okay. So I was in my house yesterday and the Alexa, the little echo, like kept going on and playing and I was not asking it to play any music. I didn't ask to do it.

It kept going to do it. I'm like, this is probably what, and I was annoyed, like, after the third time, like, Alexa, stop it. Like, this guy would definitely shout at his scrotum. Stop it. Stop it. Stop whistling. By the way, Alexa turning itself on like that is a precursor to the AI.

That's 100%. Not only is it a precursor. It's a precursor. It's a both. Oh, really? It's both. Precursors. Sorry.

Precusser. I was with you. Is someone who curses before someone really curses. Fuck. What were you going to? say, damn it. Pre-custored. Pre-custard.

Wow. We put that in a bit dessert. Okay. All right. The man out of breast, swollen face, goes to his local emergency room

complaining about the bizarre condition. I mean, you give that to the check-in person at the yard and they're like, okay, so there is no, there is no column to fill that out. Right.

Anyone else in here for a whistling scrotum? Just say, I have chest pains and I can't breathe. Right. Because if you say my scrotum's whistling, you are at the bottom of the list. Right.

In that waiting room. Yeah. They go, okay. partner like they'll ask other people who are waiting for other people are you okay before they bring you and also they tell security like just we know we gotta go over here saying his nuts or whistle my first my girlfriend actually was the first to notice that when she was giving me flascia and then they just to security they give it not only is it where's the whistling coming from d's d's who d's nuts the whistling's coming from

inside the pants an x-ray of the man's chest Do they not know where the scrotum is? An x-ray of the man's chest revealed that he had excessive amounts of air floating within his body, causing his lungs to collapse. What? If left untreated, this could have permanently damaged his heart and lungs function. No shit. It's got to go. So he's saying it's got to go out somewhere.

Potentially leading to death, doctors reported. Later, the primary source of the man's strange whistling was discovered to be an open wound on the left side of his scrotum. That's right. Lead with that. Oh, so he had an open wound on the left side of it. You know how most people normally are walking around with one or two open wounds. He sprung a flat. Why he inserted a musical read into that open wound is beyond us.

He did an open wound and you squirt him is a red flag lifestyle wise. Right? Like maybe I'm not doing this thing right. Yeah. Yeah, which is why you're the knocking. Do you hear that knocking in your car? No, I'm not hearing anything. Are you hearing the whistling that's coming out of your scrotum?

Nope. Nope. I'm really good at ignoring problems in my life. I'm good at supplement. It's like Kurt Bronler's a little bit about the person who had like 4 million bees in their house. Just didn't hear the buzzing. Yeah. You're ignoring.

You're ignoring. The injury left over from testicle surgery to reduce swelling how many months earlier allowed some trapped air to escape via the wound. That's right. So, slide whistle, hilarious in this instance. Everyone? If it was a slide whistle. How long do you think he was just walking around, whistling Dixie with a wound on his scrotum? Also, does that mean you're naked?

How is six months? Oh, I guess the year's coming out. Oh, it could blow on your pants. It could blow if he's wearing linen pants. These guys just bling. It's a very comfortable. It's a very flowy garment. Very whistle-friendly fabric.

It gives new meaning to the term bag. bagpipe. That is a very whistle-friendly fabric. I really like linen, yeah. For what, and that's a reason. Definitely. So the whistling. If you're squirotum is whistling. To be able to whistle down there. It's like, you said six months? Six months. This guy's been walking around whistling. Ignorian. Whistling. Dixie down below. What, Jason? Below his Mason Dixon. I'm going to say if he is any kind of human being,

he didn't let that go on more than 10 days. Okay. I skied with this guy up in Canada. I know Whistler. And I went to Whistler with him. I would say two months. He did this for five months. Oh, well done, Randy. I was like, come on, I thought six was crazy. He had left over testicle surgery to reduce swelling five months earlier, and that allowed

some trapped air in his body to escape. His shortness of breath, oh, go ahead, Eddie. No. Okay. His shortness of breath and swollen face were also due to complications, the report said. Two plastic tubes. Go ahead, Eddie. No, I'm trying to.

I use my hands. Just visualize what he's going through. You're putting yourself in his shoes. Two plastic tubes were inserted into his chest to drain the excess air. Okay. Doctor, I like this name, Brand Brant Brickford. Brandt Brickford. That's a soap opera doctor.

That is a soap, Brickford. And also my order. It's all get out. That is my order at Amy's ice cream. Brand Brant Brickford. You go to Bram Brickford. I get the Bram Brickford. Amy has an ice cream.

Amy's ice cream. Brant Brickford. Dratford. It's the butter brickle of, yes. And colleagues wrote that he was. transferred to another hospital for further treatment. His condition deteriorated further with the amount of air trapped between his lungs and chest and his chest wall increasing, which compelled doctors to add a new chest tube.

Now we're up to three. Thankfully, the man's lungs had recovered after three days in the hospital, the study noted. How about you saw up the hole in his balls? After the recovery. And my leg, gay. And I got a hole in my balls, a sighty. It's nice what you're doing from my lungs, but how about you? about you patch up my knuck.

How about you dig in there and get a home of you? I got an idea, Mr. Brant Brickford. Why don't you close up the hole in my freaking bowl? Why don't you take a brick and stick it in my goddamn nut say? What do I got to do? Go to a tire shop to get a patch on this. Why don't you take a nail sticking in and then pull it back out again? Hetzling Gretel.

All right. You guys, I didn't even have to slow down the car for you to jump in because that is literally the end of this sentence. The man's long as he recovered three days, a study noted after recovery, the man was released from the hospital in good condition. Nothing about the nutsack. No. You can't introduce whistling balls and then make it disappear. Yeah, I think the whistling balls and a lot of kids are telling me there's clickbait out there now. And it's clickbait.

You put whistling balls. Everyone's going to read that article. People are like, Margaret, come look at this. Actually, you know what, Eddie? Balls are whispering. I love me. I always go to Margaret. Who is Margaret in your life?

Is there nobody? I love you. Always like, Margaret. Yeah, it's a great. Get it? Callout name. And it's a good person to yell at. This is what I love.

For no reason. Margaret is whistling balls on the interest. Nets. And you're mad at her that she doesn't. This is the presupposition in any, any Pepitone bit is that Margaret is not paying attention. Right. So, and his frustration that he has to pull her into this. I imagine Margaret in the other room.

But he wants her to see it. But also the big reveal is that Margaret's been dead for years. Of course. And it's me. It's like a play, a Broadway play where he's been talking to himself. And then blackout. It's gone waiting for Margaret. I'm waiting for Mark.

The Whistling. And Jeff Ross has a cameo. There you go. He has the Whistling Balls. The mystery of the Whistling Balls does feel like a Harry Potter episode of a movie that has not been made. Harry Potter and the mystery of the whistle. balls? That's like adult potter. And he's completely right about clickpate. The clip is going to be

him talking about whistling balls and then people are what is this? What is this? Yeah. Okay. I mean we are as we're recording this near Halloween. Sure. So like this, we've heard of the headless horsemen. Now we've got the whistling balls. His balls are haunted. Like, I wonder if they can be ornaments.

Like this guy, like, hook them off and put him off. More of like a wind chime situation. A wind wind chime. Yes. He did, however, have hair trapped in his scrotum. The condition called pneumoscrotum pneumo scrotum which is whatever I guess

pneumonia the first part of pneumonia probably means something nume means air pneumo this to me is what I think pneumoccal pneumonia is I don't know numoccal I believe

was developed by a French filmmaker Lumiere yeah it's who created no I'm sorry I was with you a condition called pneumo scrotum and abdomen

for it he had air trapped in his scrotum yep numoscrotum right the air was also in his abdomen sure for how long um just fun just fun just shoot it at nine months nine months a year two years what which is described as quote an abnormally long time no shit yeah no shit probably is why he did not shit I wonder if air in the abdomen it must be uncomfortable no it can't be good he's got to feel bloated he's got to feel how I feel all the time yeah well well well well well well well

doctors could determine the cause they noted that in the report that they were eventually forced to remove both of his testicles before resolving the problem he lost him he lost him he had so they can become ornaments they guild the guild them truck nuts right is like gilding gilding gilding gilding gilding yeah my story about that you know the stairs there no more ejaculate gildon's not fancier you know the story about jason and the gill I was the I was the sports editor for the newspaper at my high school senior year second semester senior year when you you don't give a shit about it. Yeah, at that point, I didn't care anymore.

Yeah, you're done. I was already into college. I didn't care. Right. I had to write an article featuring about this kid who ran cross country and track. His sister was in our class, Carrie Unterreiner. The kid's name was Ryan Untariner. Great.

Great. Like probably the best cross country and track runner we've ever had at our school. And I just not fact checking or knowing what I was doing. I had to turn to the article the next day. It was late one night. We may have even been out at a party. I came home and I wrote that he ran. like a gelding which is a horse that has his nuts cut up yeah so the parents and the kid

got really mad and they wanted to write a retraction and when the head of came to me I said you'd run fast too if your balls were gone you didn't have balls you'd run very good you were out of the high school I was so gone and I did write an apology to his family but gelding so they removed they got you wrote an apology but it was surprisingly cut short the study went on to explain that the numos crotum was likely caused by penetrating injuries resulting in the trapped air. We know. Yeah, uh, yeah, we get it. What is numa scrotum? Numa scrotum. Numa scrotum is a rare condition which air becomes trapped in the scrotum. In medical literature, only 60 cases have been described since the air can't escape through the body's orifice. Are you, are you all right? You

got a little too much in your script. Dr. Brickford. I just a right amount, I believe. Just a right amount. You're sure about that? I don't know. You're not really. You look like you got a little too much in there. Yeah. I don't know. Can you squeeze these? Margaret. Margaret. What's a PSI on I think you've got to be at 34. That's how they got Brady on his balls. De He was inflating the balls with the air. They got him. Hey, we need a

Gleason score on this fucking thing. You've got to check your owner's manual. Yeah, 100% because of his manual. Since the air can't escape through the body's orifices, it usually requires medical intervention. Dr. Berkford said is unclear whether the man's condition had improved due to the escape route. Yeah. Whether the air

escape was part of the patient's presentation, and led to a more favorable outcome will never be known. Yep. So they're saying part of the reason he didn't die is because of that wound in his nut sack because the air could get out somewhere. It's got to get out somewhere.

So the whistling saved him. Yeah, that's right. Another unusual suspect of the case was the length of time it took to resolve the air buildup inside of his scrotum. You've heard of a French tickler. He's the Dutch whistler. There we go. Margaret, get in here.

I'm playing Edelvise. It was a Dutch Whistler is in. Margaret, there's a witty line here about the, French tickler if you want to where the hell are you Margaret every time I sit down it sounds like a rubber chicken going on Who put this wood because your glasses are

So far down at the end of your nose This is where this is literally about to fall Margaret Get in Get in here and read this witty line At the end Spot single spot on you You look around and you go

Margaret I'm coming to you And then we know that she's dead And he goes to join her And that's the end He's come to terms of that he's ready to join his Margaret You don't come here Dr. Brickford sort of is like

Also fuck this patient The doctor's also concluded that Concluded that noting In his behavior over three years It led them to doubt this Was anything other than his fault They still haven't been able to find the exact reason Behind its occurrence

We'll get out of here on this How old? How old? Do you think is a man. Whistling's credible. He had it in it, he had it 60s. He had it in his

for five years. 60 what? Give me an age. What do you think? 65. 65. Yeah, he's definitely been around the block. 52.

I don't know. This could be. Five years. He might be 38 and looking at a life forward. I say 38. 38? 52. 65.

65. The nut sack blower, Whistler, sorry. Is 72 years. I knew it. I know it. Because once you hit a certain age, you're like, I don't care. I'm not going to the doctor for this.

What am I going to do? Does it hurt? No. Is it annoying? Fine. I mean, whistling scrotum does also sound like a Native American name, right? Yeah, that nobody liked. Absolutely.

That got kicked out of the trouble. Go tell whistling scrotum. All right. Let's take a break. Tell Whistling scrotum dances with wolves to see it. Exactly. Dances with whistling scrodom. Sings to, anyway.

Who would play whistling for scrotum and dances with wolves? What actor? What year right now? Because otherwise it's Daniel Day Lewis. Yeah, exactly. Daniel Day? He's doing his son's movies. All right.

Let's take a break. When we come back, we'll talk about Eddie's new stand-up special, which you can check out. It's on what Dan has going on. It's Dump People Town with the great Eddie Pepitone. Margaret, we'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound. Come here down.

It's Dump People Town. Hey, guys, welcome back to the show. Before we jump in to Eddie's what he's got going on, Daniel, let people know how they can follow you, listen to podcast. Come see you. Daniel Van Kirk on social media, Daniel Van Kirk.com for my dates. I'll be at the Flyover Comedy Festival. I'm doing tag it. I'm doing stand-up on the spot.

I'm doing comedy confidential. And it's all dating up to Sunday night. This is all happening, by the way, the 13th through the 16th of November. On the 16th, we're doing a live dumb people town. Me, Sclar brothers, Rory Scoville. Maybe a couple more other surprises. I will also be reading a Greenlee. It'll be a great time. Epic.

Epic episode. And then St. Louis. That next weekend, Saturday, the 22nd, I will be in Bloomington. Indiana. That morning, Indiana will beat Wisconsin and football. That night, you can come to a fundraising show for Habitat for Humanity in Bloomington, Indiana. I am headlining that show. All

proceeds go to Habitat for Humanity. So nice. So you can have a great time and do something good as well. It'll be a fun little weekend before Thanksgiving. Everything's at Daniel Vancruck.com. Check out Midnight Air. Watch my special Rose Gold and watch the movie Wine Club if you haven't already. Eddie, you got a new one of special

I'll talk to me about it. Where did you shoot it? I shot it in Chicago. at a place called Lincoln Hall, which... We did our special there. I love that. I love Lincoln Hall. It was a while ago, but we did it there with that beautiful balcony up top.

Yeah, I love that room. I like that room, too, a lot. Great. Yeah, I like that. I like being in three quarters. Yeah. Who directed it? Stephen Finardt.

He directed ours there. I love him. He directed yours there? Yeah, that's special. He just finished directing Marinstock, are we good? The latest one. But Steve has directed all my special.

is my third video one. The bitter Buddha. Yeah, he made the bitter Buddha about me. One of my favorite moments ever in watching any documentary. I've told you so many times. Did you? And your dad comes up. You had him.

You had him right there. Everybody says that. Because we're all seeking approval. Yes. And you... Oh, dear, let's be more specific. We're all seeking approval from Eddie's. Hey, I'll take whatever dad I can get.

You have so many goddamn comedians who want your approval, father. I loved it. But that moment, I mean, it leads up to that. You're right. And that describes my relationship with him is, you know, because I think why people wanted that to see me get that approvals that earlier in the doc he was being a bitch to me. And that's how it went. When you wouldn't leave and you're like, fine, I'm going.

Yeah. That whole. Yeah. The withholding. So I filmed this last summer in Chicago. Yeah. And it's called The Collapse. And it's about how my collapse mirrors our society.

I think we're doing fine, so I don't know. Yes, everything is... I hope we come back like you do. I know, Jesus, please. Let us come back like you have come back. I have more hope for you. Yeah, so I'm excited about it. Great.

I'm excited about it. You always like, you know, you did a bit years ago that I was just like, this, if I were to say to someone who did not know you at all, like, who is Eddie? pebatone and i forgot exactly what you were reading but in my brain it's this you were like a steel worker from pittsburgh reading like poetry yes yes and it was it was because you are who you are you look like you look like you sound like what you sound like it is it taps into the every man so well but your brain goes to other and your aesthetic is so different so the that's the dichotomy of you. The juxtaposition of those two.

That's the dichotomy of you as a person. And it's, you're an artist. You're an artist in this body, which is so funny because we, we think about, like, some of the greatest artists of all time. If you looked at that,

we don't know what they look like. You don't know who, like Jackson Pollock was just like a guy. He was just a dude. Like, you think about, like, there are pictures of Pollock. I know, but, like, we all don't know. Right.

We don't see him moving around. And obviously, there are good movies. But, like, you know what I mean? Like, it's, it's, the true artist is in the mind. Yeah, that's always been my dichotomy is I grew up such a blue color in New York. In Brooklyn. And my dad was, you know, but he was kind of like me too because, or I was kind of like him because he was a big Mozart, Beethoven guy. He planted this in you.

Oh, absolutely. He would be into classical music. And his next thing he would say is, I swear to God, if I hear that once more, I'm going to kill everyone here like you know what he mean like you're like the fifth concerto yeah the combination of rage and like high art rage and high art it is it's where rage meets high art that's how I would describe your comedy it is that's where I would describe your freaking comedy it's emotional on a level that I feel like everyone can relate to because we're all this way we are all this way rage anybody who's been in traffic in Los Angeles or

who has like waited at the DMV or who has like you had to go to your kids shitty piano recital or stuck in a bad conversation in Thanksgiving like you have it everybody's got it inside them and you tap into it so well but then there are these like just esoteric references and you go off in these ways that I only you can do what by the way I thought of a new traffic thing where I'm in traffic and I whenever you're in traffic yeah yeah uh you feel feel like your life is just crap. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, why didn't I sleep with her?

How come I didn't go to the gym war? And then the traffic clears up and you're like, you know what? I'll get it together. That's right. Is that a metaphor for life? No, I mean, you feel so angry in traffic. Then it clears up. And you're like, you know what?

I am doing better. I am better. Things are flowing. Things are flowing. I'm glad the external world isn't affecting me. When it's a drop Or is it drop? So when this drops

It'll be out It November 11th is when it dropped on YouTube It goes on YouTube November 11th It has been on Veeps.com For a bit Okay great And again the collapse is the name of it Eddie Pepitone

Search it Watch it all the way through This is one of our favorite people in comedy This is one of our favorite comics Out there doing it This is what you can do as podcast listeners Support him Watch it first of all

you're welcome in advance it's going to be hilarious and then you will support people like this who can make more and more of these things and live a life that he deserves because he can make the art that he makes all right shall i jump into the story margaret did you hear that they love me how about you nothing they look not my favorite my favorite thing is someone coming up after a show being like well i loved it i thought you were funny my friend doesn't owe you that's my favorite you're very brave also also listen to apocalypse soon a great uh podcast. I had the pleasure of working on many episodes. I love that.

Apocalypse soon. All right. Shall we jump in this? Sent in by Sean Anderson. It fits with the collapse. It does. You guys are a Sean Anderson run. At Sean S-H-A-W-N-E-70. Here we go. Here it is.

Headline, Firefighter dumped 75, quote, possibly used tampons on X's lawn for dating new girl. Yes, the firefighter is a woman. Oh, okay. A firefighter was accused of stalking. after she allegedly dumped 75 quote possibly used tampons. Well, there's no possibly.

Why is it like in question? If she dipped him in wine, then that's one thing. Maybe. Also, under her ex-boyfriend's line. I know that isn't the one-off, but if it is a one-off, that's not stalking. Well, this is probably the end of a stock. Yeah, this is the end of a good stalk.

Yeah, right? Or the beginning. I like to end a good stock with a tampon dumping. I got to do a quick tampon dump and then I'm finishing up this stock. What do you got? Laundry. I got to do the tampon dump.

I got a little bit of stock. Got to go over the post office. Imagine her friend that was at her house a week prior who went to go get something out of her garage. You know you got like bags and bags of tampons? Oh, don't touch them. I'm going to use that. I have a purpose.

What are you going to use them for? Oh, yeah, I'd rather not. It's weird. There's so many bags. Are those used? They're somewhat used. You look at you go, haven't used them yet. We're about to be.

I mean, they've been used. but they're not done with their final... There's a second window. There's a final usage. They come off of EAPS and they go on to YouTube, if you know what I mean. I wonder for harassment purposes if you could buy them used. Maybe. Just big bags.

Sure. The Volusia County Sheriff's Office was contacted by a woman on September 30th after she and her boyfriend woke up to find a pile of tampons on their front lawn that were stained red as if they were possibly used. Maybe they were dying. She said, according to a probable cause and effect, the affidavit obtained by law and crime. Police reviewed security camera recordings that showed a pickup truck driving past the house around what time? 1 a.m.

I'm going to say 10. 10 p.m. 23 in the morning. One of you is exactly right. It's 1 a.m. You think it's 1 a. You're sticking at 10? Okay.

Three, she wanted to be way safe. Get your answers in townies because the truck drove past the house at 10 p.m. Right. I figured it's a sleepy bird And on us Number 29 If you can Woman allegedly sat in the truck bed

Until traffic cleared At which point she dumped out And threw 75 tampons on the front lawn I was gonna I was really curious With the count them Count them up I should have had No I'm glad we get to know 69 70s 71

Give me four more When the couple was asked Who they believed was behind the crime they reportedly both pointed the finger at Gabrielle Franz, a firefighter. Dennis's daughter? Orange County Fire Rescue and the ex-girlfriend of the man living home. Look at that. That's a red flag.

Is that her? Who did it? Her. She did. You better, goddamn believe it. Where is Volusio or whatever the name? That hair. That hair fights.

Yeah. That's all I'm telling you. If we're sitting at the bar after a show and we look over, I go, fighter. Fighter. Fights. That hair fights. It was likely her demonstrating she was unhappy that her expedited. boyfriend was dating a new person.

No one can get broken up with it anymore. I know. Nobody can get fired anymore. Nobody can, like, yeah, people don't like you after a while. You didn't do a good job. Get out of here. Number one. Take your loss.

Don't let him do your loss. Take a loss. No, I agree. You got to show up with tampons. Take a loss. You lost. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

Just move on. Get mad about it. And then move on. Life hurts sometimes. In my day, rejection was like breakfast. Yes. I eat rejection for breakfast. Yeah, you have enough of it early on

to fill you throughout the day. By the way, I think that is the name of your next special. Rejection breakfast. Also, what do tampons say? Cool, you're not pregnant. Right. The significance of a tampon is just supposed to be gross.

It's gross. They claim she previously made social media posts, quote, talking badly about them and the fact that they're now together. So if you start making social media posts, that's a really bad. First come the posts, then come the tampons. then you get the power right when the police confronted franz at her home she initially said

she didn't know where her ex lived great yeah that's great what do you mean i don't know where you don't know where your i don't know where my ex lives wait you dated him for a while i don't know but eventually admitted to committing the act said it was not her idea that's what i have to know who's that instead can we blame that person are there drugs involved who do you think she placed the blame on her idea who did she think she placed the blame i want to let you go first. His whistling scrot him. His whistling scrot him. No, who did she place the blame on?

Margaret. I couldn't tell you. I'm going to go, her mom. Her mom, what do you think? Gavin Newsom. No. Who do you think? Who'd she blame? I think she's going to say her mom. Her mom. What do you think? I'm going to say her brother. Okay. Who do you think? I'm going to say

her mom. Yeah, we can do it. We'll double up. Two of you are exactly right. Yes. Her mother. Mother. Blame to our mother I'll tell you what you need to do And mom stop And her aunt Who came from out of town

And made the plan for her You know When you have that aunt When you throw Aunt Marsh under the bus She's divorced She's got a lot You see auntie maim? She's getting divorced

Smoking a lot She walks in And she's like Here's how we're gonna get it Oh you're too forceful I see smoking me like I'll tell you what we're gonna You got tan pounds

We're gonna I can smoke in here you got a red spray paint we're going to soak those things in red spray paint and then we're going to throw it on his lot and then tamp it down we're going to tamper down we're going to tan it up it's a frenzy idea it's a fran it's a franzi a wine

and a little bit of fun she said while the pair were in town all three of them purchased the tampons painted them red to make them look like they've been used that right and then the trio drove to the ex-boyfriend I mean this is like they had definitely listened to Carrie I put my

key into the side That of his... This is a lady from Rady's about. Did she talk about key in a car? Yeah. Took my key into the side of this. I just feel like this woman is not taking responsibility for her own life. And I think she's a bit of a self-sabotting.

A little bit. A little bit. Also, like, what does the fire department do with this? Yeah. Like, I mean, if she's working for the fire department, first of all, thank you for your service. They're like, we're supposed to put out real fires, not this one. Exactly, right? What are we doing here?

She's paid on call. She's not full time. Maybe. I don't know. And then dumped him. per the report, and that's it. Police arrested Franzen and charged her with two counts of misdemeanor stalking, saying the incident was done with the, quote,

sole purpose to harass her ex and serves no legitimate purpose. What legitimate purpose would buying 75 fertilizer for the garden? There you go. There we go. Sopping up ticks. Sopping up ticks. That story number two down in the book. Sop it up ticks.

That's the name of this episode. Eddie Pappetone is with us. The collapse is his new special. You got to watch it on YouTube. When we come back, we'll tell you what you can see us in, and I got one crazy story about a breaking into a stadium. Okay, there we got breaking to see it.

I've done it before. Am I? You have? Yeah. James, remember we broke into the big house in Michigan? We broke in the big house in Michigan. I did it with my daughter when I was dropping our off at school, and we like ran up and down the 50-hour.

That was from the 50-Ireland in the end zone. And then we went into Oklahoma. Remember we just walked in the stadium? Yeah, Norman, Oklahoma. Crazy. All right. We'll be right back with more dumb people in town with Eddie Pepper tone stick around make a sound come you down it's dumb people town

hey guys welcome back to this show before we jump into the last story jay we've got dates so this is going to drop hopefully the week around your special comes out november 11th which this weekend will be at the flyover comedy festival in st louis that's right tag it show on friday night which is the 14th and on the 16th we're going to be doing a live dumb people town at the page in theater get your ticket st louis rory scovil and another guest who we will announce shortly or we maybe have already announced when this thing drops out going to be fun very excited so please come and see that uh and then we're going to be in december at the rindgeist brewery as part of bombs away comedy in cincinnati on the 12th then on the 13th the den

theater in chicago den theater love that place let's sell these out two shows on the 13th and then we'll be at lohoia at the comedy store uh january 9th through 11th uh future stuff super scholars dot com we're at punchup dot live follow us there because they add us all our dates and all of our tickets i love punch up uh and that's it and then we're writing on the new Kevin Hart, Keenan Thompson sports show on Amazon called Good Sports, where you've already started when this drops. Yes. I will be joining soon.

And hopefully we'll hop on that show and do some stuff on there, too. And if we can think of anything fun for you to do, we'll write. Papitone will always think of you. And Dan, you know, we've already written you in there. So there you go. All right, here we go. This is sent in by Les at Les underscore Carpenter. There might be a new one.

There you go. Thanks a lot. Thank you. All right, here we go. Texas man broke into R.S.L. stadium after hours and stole a Diet Coke charges say that's all he wanted that's all he wanted people who like Diet Coke I mean like I like that's a revolutionary but Diet Coke people so that's a rabble rouser can we talk about this can we

blame Antifa what's RISL I don't know Rassel is Real Salt Lake real Salt Lake so it's a Salt Lake City so because Salt Lake City there is not going to be alcohol we know that well it's Diet Coke is there that's their beer yeah they get yeah They're fucked up on Diet Coke. So here's my question, though, because, and I don't understand this. I am someone who cannot, anytime there's any sort of a fake sweetener, okay, if it's a sugar-free syrup for your coffee or a stevia or a this or that, I can taste the chemicals and I hate it in everything except Diet Coke.

Why can I have the chemicals of Diet Coke? Because they're brilliant. They're trying to put the cancer in you. They're really trying. Why? How am I? Because I can detect it from, like, miles away. If there's just even the slide.

Coke zero is not bad. Oh, I hate Coke Zero, but Diet Coke is very... Why do we... I would... Well, I think... Did you guys hear that Donald Rumsfeld was supposedly involved in the formula of diet... Oh, I did hear that. Oh, I can confirm.

I hear that. Yes, you can... My mother was an accountant for the company that made it, you know. So when I go to a bar, I order I order a Rumsfeld. A Rumsfeld. That's great. So I think that explains it. Rumsfeld had his hand and a lot of popcorn.

eyes in the Pentagon. That is a lot of coax. Kissinger, probably to live something over to him. Do Robsfeld and Coats? Yeah. Can I give you my analysis? Yes, I'm dying. That he chose a stadium

because convenience stores are very guarded. And a stadium is a lot of room to operate. A lot of rooms operate and also he knew R.S. That's right. He knew him. It's right. And he was like, they don't turn these fountains off.

Someone leaves. the switch on. I'm betting someone someone left the switch on it. Oh, it was a gun? Well, no. And then your mind goes to this. They wouldn't have left it out if they didn't want me to do it. Right, right. Hey, I'm stress testing your stuff. You know, those people who are like, be grateful to me.

What did I just tell you? I brought a gun onto this plane because I wanted to see if I could get it on. You need better security measures. You fail. All right. This is like every hacker that ends up working for the CEO. Now this guy's like doing security at RSL. Here we go. A Texas man is facing felony charges accusing him of illegally entering the real salt lake stadium breaking into a refrigerator and stealing a diaco so this isn't even a fountain drink it's you broke into a refrigerator come on now

was there a lock on there probably you broke into it sean christian matthews the hans christian anderson of thieves of die coak thieves of rock wall texas rock wall texas not rock well texas rock wall why is it in salt lake build that rock wall wait i mean i mean i mean Why is Salt Lake? Yeah, I thought this was Salt Lake. So he's a Texas guy, but he's in Salt Lake. He's visiting Salt Lake because he's like, this is the most break-in-able stadium. I've been all of the soccer stadiums for the MLSs.

I've been to Portland. I've been to Seattle. Salt Lake is where I'm going to steal. I'm driving cross-county lines to steal. He's like that Kansas City Chiefs fan. He would like follow the Chiefs, and wherever they were playing, he would rob a bank in that town. Is that right? There's a documentary about it.

Amazing. Yes. So they could never figure out the pattern of like, what is he? It's asking my friend, and then suddenly just checked the chiefs. Oh, they played a big. Chief fan and he needed a little candy. Yeah, that's right. Why is this guy buying everybody's stuff?

All right, he was charged Monday in third district court with causing property damage, a second degree felony and burglary, burglary. He's working on as a nuclear. Okay. About what time Thursday did Sandy police respond to America First Field? I've only been picturing daytime the whole time. Sunday? yeah me too Thursday this is a Thursday oh a Thursday yeah I would have to say when this

I'm gonna say he did this about 3 o'clock 3 a.m. 3 p.m.? 3 p.m. It's 11 8 11 p.m. 11 p.m. I'm gonna go 1 p.m. 1 p. Get your answers in I wish you would have followed my lead 3 a.m. Oh, I was right. I was late in the night. The America's First Field home of Rial Salt Lake and the Utah Royals on a report of a trespasser. Right. Officers found Matthews sitting in a chair in the north side of the stadium he claimed he scaled a wall to get in and then used

a pole later identified as a retractable belt stanchion. What? Oh, oh, oh. Yeah, the retractable to break into the refrigerator. Oh, according to a He jammed this into a refrigerator. Oh, one of those stanchions. Yeah, you know, like

the stanchion thing. The stanchion so they keep in lines. All right. Sean then explained that he took a Diet Coke from the refrigerator machine, which he later found to be unlocked and accessible by sliding open the doors. So he jammed it in there and then realized you just... Oh, it's unlocked, and I can just open it. Police were later shown

surveillance videos of Matthews throwing the retractable belt stanchion into the refrigerator twice. I'm thinking it's like grocery store, stand up the door or slide. Right. And so he tried to throw it at the glass. Right. And then placing the station to the side, there's also video of Sean jumping the wall, and

of Sean stealing a Diet Coke from the refrigerator. Is this like a new decathlon? Yeah. So it's like you jump the wall. The drunken games. You drop the wall. You pick up the stanchion. It's like a javelin.

I don't think I'd be a good cop. But the amount of times I would have to go, hey, before we do all this paperwork, what's really going on? What's going on, right? You know what they probably were breaking and entering? Like, yeah, the Diet Coke we could live with. We can take that hit. That's part.

We could take that hit. Real Salt Lake, we can take that hit. But we don't want lunatics. Right. We don't want to let people know that you can. scale a wall and do it. Yeah, because you're probably like, man, you roll into an A MPM, you run out with a dollar 80 cent. Nobody's going to say a thing.

We're not even showing up. No. But why all, what's going on? Yeah, I want you start. Why is still sitting in the stadium, too? That's the other part. Bring mad at it. Still sitting in the stadium.

Who are you trying to prove what woman in your life said you can't do this? I was thinking the same thing, right? That I like, oh, proving something. Going to tell me I can't break into there, get a Diet Coke. Really, Betty. You don't think. I can get a diet coach from RSL. And then goes high pitch.

Okay. Okay. We'll see. We'll see. No. That's your opinion. No, I want to get caught. I want to get caught.

Yep. Just so you know that I did it. I want you to know that I did it. Because if I go and I don't get caught, you'd be like, you still have for the NBA. And you know why I'm getting caught? Because I'm not a bad person. But I am going to show you I can do it. Oh, I'm going to take it.

Oh, I can run and I can get away. I'll wait for them. I'm going to break into RSL Stadium and steal this. this die-cote, and then I'm going to sit there, and I'm going to wait. I'm going to be on camera, just so you can know that you messed up, Betty. And then Betty tries to walk it back. Relax. No, no, no, no.

You said what you said. You said what you said. What do you bet that the cops overreacted and had many guns pointed at him? Oh, God, I'm so many guns. Because you're like, what are you trying to steal? The secret sauce of RSS Stadium? Rumsfeld has that. Rumsfeld has that.

Rumsfeld did it. He keeps in a safe in his house. The cost of. Preparing the damage caused by Matthews is estimated at more than what, according to charging documents. What? He broke a refrigerator. Yeah, he broke a refrigerator, so that's like. Frigerated about 500.

Yeah, 7.50. I'll go $1,200. I'm about $17,000. What? Trying to gouge the guy. Yeah. We're going to get out of it. Why?

What cost 17 Gs? You probably jammed the refrigerator door and broke up. That's a good refrigerator. It's a great refrigerator. It's beautiful. Sean Christian Matthews, the man who scaled a wall and wrote all. And wrote most of our children's stories. And wrote all of our children's stories.

John Christian Matthew. How old is the song? Of Rock Christian Anderson. How old? He had to be nimble. Texas. He had to be nimble because to get over a wall. Yeah.

I'm going to say this. But old enough to be hurt. 23. I hear too young. I think he's 38. I went back again. I'm going to split you two. I'm going to go 31.

Okay. One of you is exactly right. Staying at 38. I'll stay at 31. Do you want to stay or take one of our numbers? 23. Get your answers in. Watch the collapse on YouTube.

Eddie Pepitone, one of our favorite, a national treasure. There's comics where people say when you're at a festival, hey, I'm going to run over and they go, I'm going to stick around four. I'm going to stick around for. And a lot of times the United States is Eddie Pepit. So you have a million reasons to watch Eddie Pepitone's new special. I leave, but they stick around for Eddie. That's right.

I'm going to give you one more reason. 23 years old You got it right Look at that He's a winner That was all based on physical Proudly No you were right

Just the ability to scale a wall And pick up a stanching And then Diet Coke Guys that's a show We love doing this for you And thank you Eddie And oh snap We gotta get back to work

Peace