Dumb People Town - Erica Rhodes - Smells Like Home

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

Comedian Erica Rhodes (tour) stops by as Jason describes a nude man that crashed a car into a jail and then threw rubber snakes at police, Randy explains how a Utah couple accidentally sent their cat ...away with an Amazon return, and Daniel lists the strangest place that British people have admitted to eating, and so much more!

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware they lack in grace And sometimes shoes, the life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail in Florida, there's half price bail I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast Dan with co-host Armand Dan. Members, don't be a jerk. Spread the music. Press the funny hits and we are gonna take you down.
Starting point is 00:00:32 Stick around. Make a sound. Bunker Down is Dumb People Town. Hey, Toudies. Welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population, you? Population Rhodes. Erika Rhodes. Erika Rhodes. First time.
Starting point is 00:00:45 First time. Hi buddy. First time in a long time. First time in a long time. Three of my favorites. I do. Every time you're on one of the shows that we're on, I love it so much.
Starting point is 00:00:55 I love, first of all, I think your joke writing is fantastic and perfect, by the way, for Instagram. And perfect for TikTok and whatnot because you get your character who you are, just your persona or your view of the world. I don't even call it character, your voice. Your voice, you get it right away. You get it in the first joke so that the second joke and the third and the fourth that end up
Starting point is 00:01:19 in whatever clip you get, I'm like, oh yeah, I know who this person is. I love it, I love it. Thank you. Love seeing you. Well, thank you for being here. Well, it's always fun to do your shows. You guys are such good joke writers. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:01:30 We try, we try. We gotta do Dan's show. Dan's got a new show. Don't overshare. Oh yeah, I'm oversharing. Oh, that's right. I am doing it. Yeah, it's next week.
Starting point is 00:01:38 Yeah, next week. Oh, we're on the same show. Oh, I will. Super, love it. We're doing everything together now. That's how we do it. We're never gonna stop. We're like a commune. Overshare comedy, it. We're doing everything together now. That's how we get, we're never gonna stop. We're like a commune.
Starting point is 00:01:46 We're like a comedy, baby. We're like a troupe. We're like a troupe. We're a troupe. So, Erica, it's her first time, I'll explain it to everybody. Dumb people are, smart people send in dumb stories about dumb people doing dumb things.
Starting point is 00:01:57 The way you do it is you just, we're still doing it on X, I don't know why, but you basically Twix, you send a story, hashtag Dumb People Town, and that way we know, at Dan Van Kirk, at Sklaar Brothers, I don't know why but like you basically Twix you sent a story hashtag dumb people town and That way we know at David Kirk at Sklar Brothers And then we know who sent it in what time and we can give you the credit so your story Jay here We go this is sent in by DG3
Starting point is 00:02:16 Dynamite DG is that a new person I think so I don't know if this person is anything. Thank you Thank you so much for being part of our, our stringers on the ground. That's right. Here's the headline. Nude man crashes car into MC jail, throws rubber snakes. Wow. That was like a full plan. So like Hattie just crashed the car into the jail. That's a dumb thing.
Starting point is 00:02:38 The rubber snakes makes it funny, right? Yeah, it makes it really funny for some reason. Is that a tag on the- This sounds like a punked episode. They didn't go with right or Outtake it's like Shawshank Redemption 2 And now I've got to prove it is these rubber snakes. Andy Dufresne. I'm tired of all these mother fucking rubber snakes
Starting point is 00:03:08 and this mother fucking rubber snakes. 12 rubber snakes. Here's my question though, like you go to the store, cause no one has like 30 rubber snakes just hanging out. You go to buy it with the plan in place. So you have to make a purchase of a handful of rubber snakes. Like when you go up to the register and the person is just swiping you through on the register,
Starting point is 00:03:26 what is their small talk? You have 25 rubber snakes. It's a hot one out there. He's like, do you have a gun? No, but we could give you this. Okay, sure. Here's 30 rubber snakes. These'll work.
Starting point is 00:03:39 What are you planning on doing today? Driving naked into a jail? Actually, yes. And then the employee turns to the other employee and is like, see, I told you, we need to put the snakes up front. That's an impulse buy. That's an impulse buy.
Starting point is 00:03:49 People will buy that like gum on the way out. Do you make impulse buys when you go to the front? Always. There's always something I think I need to do. Trader Joe's. What do you do at Trader Joe's? What's your go-to? Chocolate.
Starting point is 00:04:01 Any chocolate. Justin's dark chocolate peanut butter. Yes, any. Yeah, I always get the little ones that look like Reese. Any chocolate. Justin's dark chocolate peanut butter guy. Yeah, I always get the little ones that look like Reese's peanut butter cups, but they're somehow healthier. They're not healthier. They do seem way worse.
Starting point is 00:04:15 They're worse. Or they're almond butter, so they're okay. Okay, I know. Almond butter. And then someone's like, you do know almond butter has like eight million more calories. You're like, what? And then I thought it was all butter. And then I throw the rubber snake in. almond butter has like eight million more calories, you're like, what? I thought it was almond butter.
Starting point is 00:04:25 And then I throw the rubber snake in. This is responsibly sourced. Yeah, no one cares. Wait, so this guy, he drove into a jail? All right, let's get into it. But what happened with the rubber snakes? Did he throw them out the window? I'm gonna get in.
Starting point is 00:04:34 We're gonna get in. There we go. I have so many questions. First of all, this is from the TC Palm, and this is actually a Greenlee, but it's not, so Will Greenlee is a writer for the TC Palm, who used to. He had a column called Off the Beat with Will Greenlee, but it's not. So Will Greenlee is a writer for the TC Palm who used to. He had a column called Off the Beat with Will Greenlee.
Starting point is 00:04:49 And he used to over explain. Like he would explain what a rubber snake was. He would explain what rubber is. He would explain what a car is. He would explain what a jail is, what a car is. And our contention is that. Dan knows the answer though. But don't give it away.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Our contention was that he had like 1,500 words to fill in every article. And every article he wrote was at like 750. And so he's like, I gotta put words in there, let me explain how to put your pants on. So he doesn't really overexplain anything. What's TC Palm? Yeah, what is it?
Starting point is 00:05:17 Thanks for asking. Something Coast Palm. I wonder, but like what's that closest to Tampa? Yeah, I feel like this is a Florida story. It is a hundred percent. It's definitely Florida. Yes, no it is and what's the last time you performed in Florida? I like this week No way, where were you? I was in Boca Raton. Oh, we're 20 but I mean it was a little bit rough. Why really? Well, I didn't have a great Turnouts. Yeah the black box. Okay. There wasn't anything wrong with the room,
Starting point is 00:05:45 but it was just kind of like small attendance, you know? Did you have fun shows though, at least? I did kind of have fun. Greg Hahn opened for me, you know, Greg Hahn, he's so funny. Greg Hahn is so physical. Yeah, he's the funniest. He just gets out and boom, boom, boom, boom,
Starting point is 00:06:01 joke, joke, joke. And so he got them going. And then you're like, now I'm gonna take. And then I was like, I wanna calm you guys down. Remember all that laughing you did before? That's gonna end. I said, they asked me what would happen if I don't win America's Got Talent, this.
Starting point is 00:06:14 That's a great joke. I open every show like that. That's a great joke. Okay, so he drives into the jail? Okay, anyway. I have what TC stands for in TC Poland. Treasure Coast, right? Treasure Coast, oh, I get it. Treasure Coast. But what is that closest to? I feel what TC stands for in TC Plains. Treasure Coast, right? Treasure Coast.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Treasure Coast. But what is that closest to? I feel like it's Pensacola. Port St. Lucia, I think. That comes up a lot, yes. I think it's near Port St. Lucia. Okay. I just wanna know, if I was gonna,
Starting point is 00:06:36 what comedy club would I have to do to try to invite Will Greenlee out to a show? Tell us what major city it's closest to, Aaron, if you find it. Are you already looking it up. He's checking it out. Okay, okay. So. West Palm, Vero Beach.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Okay. West Palm. All right, we did the West Palm improv. I feel like I was there at some point. We did the improv at West Palm Beach, and it was a disaster. Those were some hard shows. All right.
Starting point is 00:06:57 He doesn't over explain anything in this. I feel like he's heard our podcast, and he's like, I don't do this anymore, buddy. Okay, all right, here we go. Martin County, a partially naked man. Partially naked. I want you to tell me what part. Winnie the Pooh part.
Starting point is 00:07:12 Yeah, which part? Pants off, mask on. Copper bottom. Shirt on. Top on, pants off. And it's a polo, a polo shirt and nothing else. Collar up. Maybe he just didn't have shoes on.
Starting point is 00:07:22 That is partially naked. That's a shoeless man. Oh, true. Parsely naked means something showing that shouldn't be showing. Right. Yeah, it has to be something. Yeah, because they would have said shirtless,
Starting point is 00:07:32 a shirtless man. Something that counts in strip poker. Parsely is just the bottom. Just the bottom. But maybe he had underpants on. Assless chaps. All right. Might have been, had underwear.
Starting point is 00:07:41 Maybe. If it doesn't count as strip poker, it's not partially naked. A partially naked man is accused of intentionally crashing a vehicle into the front entrance of the Martin County jail and throwing how many rubber snakes? Ooh. Along with cell phones.
Starting point is 00:07:54 Throwing cell phones? Cell phones, multiple? How many rubber snakes? Is this a cricket wireless? I don't know, no, no. Is it asking us how many? No, I know. Oh.
Starting point is 00:08:03 We're just a little fun little guessing game. Yeah, it's a guessing game. I'm gonna go three snakes. Three snakes., fun little guessing game. I'm going to go three snakes. Three snakes. Oh, I'm going way more than that. What do you think? I'm going to go 30. 30 rubber snakes. I'm going to go seven.
Starting point is 00:08:12 Just handfuls. Just handfuls of rubber snakes. Chucking snakes. Why would you just throw one? And I feel like if you throw a rubber snake, it's like throwing a piece of paper. It never goes as far as you intended it to go. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:23 You're still holding onto it and it's hanging down. As he crashed into the place and then rolls down the window with the electric thing and then throws the rubber snakes. I think 17. Or did he get out of the car and then throw them? Throw them, yeah. 17, 30, what'd you say? Out through the window?
Starting point is 00:08:38 Okay. I think 30. So I'm gonna paint this scene for you. So guy drives up, drives into a jail, crashes into it. People are shot, gets out of the car He's not wearing pants But he does have a shirt on and he does have shoes and socks on because it's easier to drive that way Okay fistful of what looked like real but probably rubber snakes and just throws them that is the way to enter a room
Starting point is 00:08:58 Yes, that's an entrance. This is how we should all come on stage So 30 17 and would you say? One of you is one off. Okay, so now we all get to make an adjustment of one up or one down. 31. 16. It's four. Get your answers in, because he threw two snakes.
Starting point is 00:09:17 Damn! Oh man, what a bummer! That's nothing. The suspect drove from the parking lot. That shouldn't even make the paper. Ah! That's not news. Up the walkway through the glass lobby doors, which had to feel good.
Starting point is 00:09:30 Sheriff's Office stated at, okay, so they posted this at what time? I don't know when this happened, but what time did they post that this happened? I think this feels early in the morning to me. 2 p.m. 2 p.m., 10 p.m.? 8 a.m. 8 a.m., get your answers in, 10, 29 p.m. Two p.m., 10 p.m. Eight a.m.
Starting point is 00:09:45 Eight a.m., get your answers in, 1029 p.m. P.M. Hey! So it might have happened at 10. I thought it was morning. I thought morning. That's a morning. But that's the morning from a crazy night before.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Right. It's just an extended evening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We used to say this, we had a t-shirt that said this. Three p.m. is the six a.m. of day drinking. Okay. I don't know why. Six p.m. is the 6 a.m. of day drinking. I don't know why. 6 p.m. is the 3 a.m. of day drinking. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:10:09 All right. He was not able to breach the inner steel security doors. They were proud of that. They were proud of that. It's a police station. They're not gonna have. Imagine the week earlier him telling his friend, I've got a plan.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Here's how it's gonna work. Do you think he maybe thought the snakes were real? Yes, and trying to get them. Yeah, yeah, like he was on something that made him think, he's a real snake. Very docile, but totally real. They'll do what I, they'll go where I throw them. Aren't there churches where people dance with
Starting point is 00:10:40 poisonous snakes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a weird. And then they die, like a lot of people die doing that. Maybe he thought they were poisonous snakes and he was trying to throw them in there. Trying to save people. The man identified as Joseph Leedy, and we'll guess his age at the end,
Starting point is 00:10:53 faces at least four counts of aggravated assault on deputy sheriff's deputy John Budensike said on Tuesday. The jail's the 800 block. Officer Budensike? Budensike, yep. That's tough. Oh, okay, so I do have a time of when it happened, and I will tell you, it was 9.55 PM.
Starting point is 00:11:11 I was five minutes off. Five minutes off. Well done. I'll take it. Leedy, wearing only a ladies top, confronted the correctional officials inside. Only a ladies top. Halter top, what do we think?
Starting point is 00:11:24 Tube top? Erika? A blouse? Like a very breezy blouse? Wait, is she working there? He, no, this, Joseph Leedy is the guy who drove through the thing. All he's wearing is a ladies top.
Starting point is 00:11:34 Oh, he's wearing a ladies top. Yeah, so what do we think it is? Is it one of those? Tube top. Tube top. Yeah. How do his breasts hold it up? Okay, he's wearing a blouse.
Starting point is 00:11:45 A blouse. Maybe they miswrote it wrong and it's a shirt that just says ladies? Question mark. He's wearing a ladies top. Ladies question mark? Yeah. Maybe it was a floral blouse. Floral blouse.
Starting point is 00:11:59 That's in a picture. Maura Ashley. Yeah. He's a classy nutcase. He got it at Kohl's. I think he's wearing a camisole. A caftan. I think it's a, like from the top.
Starting point is 00:12:10 What's a caftan again? It's a long, that's a long dress. No, not a caftan. Maybe like a, one of those. Absolutely, not maybe he's had enough. Are you joking? No one would care. What was the store that we used to say?
Starting point is 00:12:20 Chicos. Chicos, yeah. Like, he's wearing some chunky jewelry. Yeah, maybe a linen top. Definitely like a linen. That's very Floridian. So something that would appear in a Diane Keaton movie. Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Something's gotta give neutral. This guy's getting cooler by the second. I know, we like him, I don't know. We're making him cool. The Nora Ephron collection. Yeah. The Nancy Meyers. Thrift store, a thrift store linen tops.
Starting point is 00:12:47 Maybe. Something's gotta give because it's complicated. There were definitely buttons on it. There were wicks. Big ones. So many buttons. Yes, giant gold buttons. He at that point threw two rubber snakes
Starting point is 00:12:56 and multiple cell phones in the lobby. Then he started pouring motor oil all over his vehicle. Then the floor where he was threatening to light the car and himself on fire. Wow. Dude. Road patrol deputies arrived. You think the friend who he was threatening to light the car and himself on fire. Wow. Dude. Road patrol deputies arrived. You think the friend who he told about this is like,
Starting point is 00:13:08 I just, if you're gonna drive into the jail, and I get that you wanted to do the whole fire thing, don't, do you need the snakes? Yeah, do you need? Where are the snakes coming from? It's like a hat on a hat. And whose cell phones are these? I agree.
Starting point is 00:13:19 And they're all flip in our mind. Right. Yes, yes, I don't know why. Three Nokia Pebbles. Burners. I don't know why they were. But just, whoever ran this by would be like, I just don't see what the snakes get you.
Starting point is 00:13:27 Why? Like you're coming and boom, and then fire. That's crazy enough. And then he explains it. He's like, it's symbolic, man. Yeah. Right? It's like the Bible.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Yes. Biblical. And then just try and call me on it. You can't, cause I threw your cell phone. Everyone needs an editor. And they'll know I'm mad at women because of the blouse. Can't you just yell I'm mad at women? I thought the snakes were why you're mad at women.
Starting point is 00:13:51 No! It's messy though. Oh, the blouse. Did you even read my manifesto? Did you even read my manifesto? He's like, are you wearing pants? No! No, of course not.
Starting point is 00:14:01 That was the first thing I told you. I told you no pants, woman's clothes. Not paying attention. Can I borrow your car? Yes, after I crash in. I mean, if you're gonna crash in. He's trying to break into jail. That is what is going on.
Starting point is 00:14:14 That is also the weirdest thing about it. All right, so road patrol deputies arrived and leader reportedly didn't listen to the commands. Of course not, Tays and then. What's the point of doing this if you're gonna start doing what other people tell you to do? Put down the snakes? No, Tays and put in a custody of doing this if you're gonna start doing what other people tell you to do? Put down the snakes? Tays and put in a cussie.
Starting point is 00:14:27 It took him a while to calm him down. He was extremely amped up, you think? Yeah. They gave him doses of ketamine to sedate him, and now he's at Burning Man. Dreams come true. Apparently it didn't work. He said he was taken to a local hospital
Starting point is 00:14:41 where additional medicine was given. He was borderline incoherent and made a number of statements over several hours. He was emphatic that he hated Donald Trump, okay? He did. Why you gotta make it political? Yeah, I know. Yeah, geez, wow.
Starting point is 00:14:54 On a hat, on a hat, on a hat, and one of them's red? Come on, he did not make direct threats to him. He just talked about his hatred for former President Donald Trump. He also kept emphasizing. He's the guy that just doesn't like the apprentice. Yeah. Like he's like, so you got problems with political,
Starting point is 00:15:09 no, no, no, no, I'm just saying. No, no, no, there's nothing to do with politics. Nothing to do with politics. I don't like that he fires people. He also kept emphasizing that the devil told me to kill as many people as possible. All right, that's right. So he's having a mental break.
Starting point is 00:15:20 That's okay. He will take steps, barriers, pictures posted by the office show the shattered glass in the doors, and a backpack with what appears to be girl power patch on the roof of his vehicle. Wow, so he is a feminist. He is. He's a feminist.
Starting point is 00:15:35 Now I feel worse. See? I'm like, bro, come on. This incident recalls a December 2015 case in Indian River County in which a man high on synthetic stimulant rammed a 2002 Toyota into the fence of the Indian River County jail. This is a second incident?
Starting point is 00:15:50 This jail is like, you gotta do a better job of like, and all you gotta do at the jail is put up those like, metal, those cement posts that don't allow a car to get through. That's it. Or a sign that says no rubber snakes. Thank you. No rubber snakes. I still don't know no rubber snakes. Thank you. No rubber snakes.
Starting point is 00:16:06 I still don't know why the snakes. I still don't know. Yeah, I wish we knew why. But see, behind this too, I just picture two other people having a conversation. They all know each other from high school, and one of them is like, have you talked to David lately?
Starting point is 00:16:19 What's he up to? I'm just worried about him. He's always so creative. Yeah. So this, can you believe this is a Greenlee? He's not worried about him. He's always so creative. So this, can you believe this is a Greenlee? He's not over explaining anything. No, it's not. I think he's heard our podcast. Not off the beat, not off the beat.
Starting point is 00:16:32 All right, let's get into this. How old? How old is Joseph Leedy? Woman's top, no top, girl power. I'm going 58. 58? That's a nice guess. Straight out of the gates, you had that.
Starting point is 00:16:44 That was on the tip of your tongue. Yeah, it was just right in my head. Okay, I think 29. 29 year old Joseph. No, this guy's old. Joseph Gordon Leedy. I'm gonna go, oh man. 500 days of summer.
Starting point is 00:16:55 Joseph, Joseph Leedy. I'm gonna go 53 years old. 53 years old. This is the end of story one, get your answers in. When we come back, we're gonna tell you what we're up to. We're gonna find out what Erica's up to, how you can support her, follow her, and go see her live. Joseph Gordon-Leedy is 40 years old.
Starting point is 00:17:15 Oh! 40! 40! What? Hey Judd Apatow, this is 40. He is just scrunched in the knee. Wow, I really thought he was much older. I pictured a much older man. I did too. Older and wiser. Yeah, I pictured him he was much older. I pictured a much older man. I did too. Older and wiser.
Starting point is 00:17:26 Yeah, I pictured him with gray hair. Great. Like he needed it a lot. He still could have gray hair. He still could have gray hair. Gray hair everywhere or just on his head? Just on his head. All right, this is Dumb People Time.
Starting point is 00:17:37 We're off and running with the great Erika Rhodes. We'll be right back with more. Stick around, make a sound. There's more D a people town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Before we let you know what Erika has going on, Jason, tell them what we've got. Yeah, not sure when this is dropping,
Starting point is 00:17:52 but if it is soon, we are gonna be in, if it's before October 2nd, we are on the same Overshare show that is Daniel Van Kirk's show. So we're gonna be with Erika on that show with Daniel Van Kirk. Yeah, correct sir. At The Bespoke, right next to Kanders on Wednesday, October 2nd. On the 10th, we're gonna be with Erica on that show with Daniel Van Kirk correct sir at the bespoke right next to Kander's on Wednesday October 2nd on the 10th we're doing a Taggit show which Erica has done and Dan has done they're
Starting point is 00:18:11 both it's really fun at the Comedy Store main room Tiffany Haddish Bobby Lee Joel Kim booster Blair Saki and Maz Gibran it's gonna be a really fun show on 1010 and we're doing Taggit Again at Largo on the 28th of October and hopefully some really big people on that show, we'll let you know. Vegas, have you ever done Vegas? Yeah. I did it once.
Starting point is 00:18:33 Okay, so we have never done it. We're doing Wise Guys. Oh nice. We're gonna do Wise Guys in Vegas. Great comedy club. So that's the 18th and 19th and then we're going to Fort Collins, a comedy, Fort at the beginning of November and then the flyover festival in St. Louis. Daniel will be there he'll let you know about that and we're gonna headline
Starting point is 00:18:50 the Sheldon theater which is like six seven hundred people it's a lot of people. Let's get people out there on that Saturday night in St. Louis our hometown hometown people come out and then in December we're doing our two-man show called The Born Identity which I'm'm very excited about, B-O-R-N, at the Lyric Hyperion on the 9th, the 12th, and the 16th. So a chance for you to see us kind of do that, come a couple times, you'll see us change it and alter it. Yeah, we're working it out.
Starting point is 00:19:14 And with hopes of that going on to New York and potentially going to Broadway, fingers crossed, we'll see. That's what we have going on, superscglibes.com for all of it. Follow us on Instagram, at Sclaw Brothers everywhere. Erica, how can people see you?
Starting point is 00:19:27 Where are you gonna be? This may drop like maybe beginning of October, maybe middle of October, we're not sure. So all dates, let them know, and where can people see you and all that stuff. Okay, well in October, I think I'm going to the Dallas Comedy Club. Nice.
Starting point is 00:19:40 That might be the beginning of October. Okay. And then, oh man, I've lost track of all my dates. Where are they located? Everything is at erikarodescomedy.com. R-H-O-D-E-S. Yes, and I'm on the road pretty consistently through the spring.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Awesome. Lots of dates to go to. You're a Rhodes dog. I am a Rhodes dog. Going on the roads, and again, follow you on Instagram. I love it and TikTok. Just Erica Rhodes. It's so, you're a great follow.
Starting point is 00:20:09 Great, great follow. Aw, thank you. Please, please, please do that. It's great. Hi, I'm Vanessa Baer and this is my brother Jonah. We're two siblings who love to talk about our childhood and nostalgia and how it shaped us into the people we are today.
Starting point is 00:20:20 And we're so excited because all new episodes of our Nostalgic Podcast, How Did We Get Weird will be hitting your feeds again starting Monday, October 14th. So get ready for more laughs, more incredible guests, and updates on our dad, aka the first Todd, including a recent run-in he had in our parents' condo community that Vanessa witnessed firsthand. Listen right here at our new home at All Things Comedy. It's gonna be rad. Jump into story mode too. Hit it, Rand. Okay, this one was, this one, I vacillate back and forth.
Starting point is 00:20:50 Love a good vacillation. I'm happy. I like the word vacillate. Thank you, I go back and forth. Good, good word. I mostly flip. I oscillate more than vacillate. Do you oscillate more?
Starting point is 00:20:59 You're like a fan. But I do support vacillation. Okay. Utahns, Utahns. Utahns? Utahnians? I always wanted to go to Utahnian. It's Utahns.
Starting point is 00:21:10 You wanna say Utahnian? I always wanted to do Utahnian. Oh, it sounds like a metal. Yeah, Utahnians. I thought it was Utahnians, but this is the way it's spelled. Utahns. This is by the way, said it by Matthew Friedman at Not Your Average Matt.
Starting point is 00:21:21 What's up, buddy? Utahns, U-T-A-H-N-S. That's how they're, Utahns. Utahns. Utahns. Utahns. The more I say it, the more I can get around it. Utahns. Yeah, Utahns.
Starting point is 00:21:32 So we're gonna kinda go through this thing and I think this is Jay, this whole story is gonna be, it's all about a cat and it comes at a time when people are eating the dogs and eating the cats. They're not. They're eating the dogs. They're eating the cats. Eating the cats. Eat, eat the cat. Eating the cats. Eat, eat the cats, eat, eat the cat.
Starting point is 00:21:46 No, so Utah's. Is that a song? It's, it was a remix of what Donald Trump said at the debate. Oh, right, okay. Utah's reunited with pet cat that they accidentally shipped with Amazon return. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Oh, that moment. Do you know what I mean? Where's the cat? Wait, wait, say that again? So they. Utah's reunited with pets. Oh, after they, oh. So they accidentally shipped in an Amazon return.
Starting point is 00:22:11 You don't have to do this. Just go to a UPS store. You don't have to do anything. No, you have to pack it in your house, Dan. People keep telling me that and I never end up returning anything. No, you just keep it. I've gotten really good at it, you just got really good at it
Starting point is 00:22:25 You I've gotten really good. No, I did it yesterday The hassle is so big that I'm like I'm so it is it is I don't do Amazon anymore They give you a barcode you scan the barcode. I agree walk away. You walk into like whole foods I promise you Salt Lake City's a cat may have used a couple of its nine lives In Lake City, a cat may have used a couple of its nine lives. You don't know that. Boo. When it was accent, comedy's hard. Okay, Erica, anytime I see comedy
Starting point is 00:22:54 that someone's struggling on stage, I'm like, comedy's hard. It is hard. I never like, you suck. We're like, comedy's hard. It is very hard. It's a better way to sort of look at that, right? It's hard. Yeah, it is hard.
Starting point is 00:23:05 It's hard to come up with this stuff. Not everyone can make people laugh like we do. So they have used some of it's nine lives when it was accidentally shipped with an Amazon return from Utah to what state? Ooh, Utah to, where did they ship the cat? Where did the cat go to? My first thing was like Nebraska.
Starting point is 00:23:24 Utah to Nebraska, that's good. I'm gonna go Colorado. I feel like it's gotta get just like a big distribution center in Denver. In Pueblo? All right, go ahead, what do you think? I'm gonna say Illinois. Okay.
Starting point is 00:23:34 Okay. Well, I didn't play the what state is this from. They sent that pussy to Illinois. What? No! Okay, you ready? So it was shipped from Utah to California. That's a long way.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Oh, that was my second guess. The Utah couple got a surprise of their life when they got a call that their missing cat was found in Los Angeles. Think about that. Cat's gone. Which, by the way, if it's an outdoor. The horror that these people are going through.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Except if it's an outdoor cat. I don't know if you have cats or ever have cats. Yeah, but this could be more of an indoor situation. But this cat survived the shipping? Indoor out. Yes, yeah, they're really having a big. Survived the shipping. Survived the shipping.
Starting point is 00:24:09 Indoor, outdoor cat. Okay, if you have an indoor, outdoor cat, I'm sure you don't see it for like weeks. It's gone, it's rumbling. So this goes back to an Amazon center, they cut it open and a cat pops out, and they're like, shit. And it was their cat, but the owner,
Starting point is 00:24:23 it was the owner's cat that. That mistakenly jumped into the box that they didn't know that it was in there. Carrie Clark said her family's indoor only cat, Dan, you were right. Galena. Oh. Mysteriously disappeared in April 10.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Galena Maxwell. Do we have a picture of this cat? No. Galena Maxwell. She was stayed in the box. Bray. That's a brilliant cat. What. It's a really young cat. What is that, a kitten?
Starting point is 00:24:46 Why is it just hanging out with kittens? I don't. I don't care to fall off the truck. Bring in other cats on the way. I don't know about nightlife. You said yes or no for a cat picture. No cat picture, I don't have one. Friends and family, oh I can look for it.
Starting point is 00:24:57 Friends and family help them search their house, neighborhood and surrounding community for a week. Frantic, losing their minds. Plastered with mis- Sadness. total sadness. Galena, a huge emotional support to me, has helped me get through many health challenges over the past six years, Clark told KSL TV.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Okay, but look, let's not skip over, obviously, it's well documented how much I love cats, dogs, animals. Pets in general, yes. Okay. Guinea pigs, you're not Haitian. How fucking heavy did you think the box was supposed to be? Right.
Starting point is 00:25:24 There is some dumbness. Did you say you're not Haitian? That was my dumb you think the box was supposed to be? Right. There is some dumbness. Did you say you're not Haitian? That was my dumb joke. There is dumbness on the part of people who did this. Like I'm not gonna take away from how much they're. You're an idiot if you boxed your cat up. I just picture someone on their phone the whole time. You know how addicted we are all to our phones
Starting point is 00:25:43 and they're on the phone and they're doing the thing and then the cat jumps in and they look over here and they're still on their phone. And they're just taping it up. And they package it up and then they throw it in the car and they're still on their phone. But you don't hear even the slightest meow. You don't hear like a scratch scratch scratch scratch.
Starting point is 00:25:56 No, because everyone's like this. Yeah, I think you're right. I think you're 100% right. Then on April 17th, Clark received a text that Galina's microchip had been scanned that afternoon.'s a good call that's a good feeling that's a great call get that text and always a microchip in the head that's a very easy thing you just it's like a tiny microchip their pets of course it's the most important thing to do because if this happens then it goes oh yeah basically it just like embeds like a look like an iud
Starting point is 00:26:23 like just like a little chip. They can scan it and then they have all the information about it, although now a lot of people also just get a collar with an Apple AirTag on it, which is just as great. Oh, that's true. Same deal. But see, so now you know, cat found,
Starting point is 00:26:36 you don't know if cat's alive, but you got a notification that it's been scanned. Imagine Clark Surprise when he received the call from a vet in California. I didn't believe it at first and thought it was a prank. So scanned means that it has gone to a vet who has the scanner. Yes. So it's not like-
Starting point is 00:26:52 Or a humane society or something like that. Stole. Like, so then you can also rule out this has been stolen. Some sort of facility has- Right. It's not in a random person's house who was like, I like his vet. Again, although sure, and I know they need it. Oh, it didn't go to a person's house?
Starting point is 00:27:05 It might have, but like, somebody took it to a vet to figure out who's missing their guy. So my daughter, we went up to Lake Tahoe to Truckee with my daughter's friends, and we were staying at their relative house up there. And they're all chipped. They're all chipped.
Starting point is 00:27:18 You gotta check your dogs. They have a huge Marmaduke-style dog named Bodie, B-O-D-H-I, and he's an awesome dog, but he hates, he was rescued, and he's an awesome dog, but he hates, he was rescued, and he hates being left alone. So we went to, all of us, go on this river rafting down the Truckee River, which was so funny, so fun and so sweet, and we were having the best time.
Starting point is 00:27:38 And on the trip, literally, on the raft, we're like, I wonder what Bodhi's doing right now, because we put him in the garage. Eating a wall. We put him in the garage, because it was a huge, huge space, huge garage, he could just run around, and we put trash cans up against the door,
Starting point is 00:27:52 and the door, just so that he wouldn't get in the house. As we said, I wonder what, we had like 15 minutes left on this trip, or 20 minutes left to float down the river, like we could see where we're getting off up ahead. As we're getting out, the phone rings to our friend and they're on the raft and they're like, hello? And like this, we're up in Truckee.
Starting point is 00:28:12 Like this is a vet in Reno. We have Bodie. Oh my God. What? How did Bodie get all the way down to Reno? He escaped out of the garage into the house. There's like, the doors aren't like little doorknobs. They were handle doors.
Starting point is 00:28:30 So he just pushed, pulled down, got in through the thing, got in from the laundry room into the regular house, then got out of the house house and went like a few houses away and people, he jumped into someone's car when they opened the door. He doesn't wanna be alone. He doesn't wanna be alone. And he's like enormous. When I say he's like, he jumped into someone's car when they opened the door. Because he just doesn't want to be alone. He doesn't want to be alone. And he's like enormous.
Starting point is 00:28:47 When I say he's like, he's like this tall. And he was all the way down in Reno. And we're like, I can't believe, we shouldn't have said anything. But then we blamed it on us for saying something. It's not because you said it. I know. Poor guy gets anxiety.
Starting point is 00:28:58 So I get this, I understand the anxiety. So the vet said, Galena was found inside of an Amazon box along with five pairs of work boots I ran to tell my husband that makes a little I'll give a little bit more It's already gonna be heavy right so you're not noticing maybe five more pounds Galina was found and we broke down upon realizing that she must have jumped into an oversized box Don't put them in an oversized box Make the box fit the cat's love an empty bag or a big box. Box, right.
Starting point is 00:29:25 That we shipped out the previous Wednesday, the box was a try before you buy and filled with steel-toed work boots. So a lot of weight. Puts in boots now. Yay! Someone had to do it! Erica Rose!
Starting point is 00:29:38 Circle gets a square. Ultimately, Galena was trapped in the box, which wasn't that like a, isn't that a Soundgarden song? Man in the Box. I'm the man in the box, which wasn't that like a, isn't that a sound garden song? Man in the Box. I'm the Man in the Box, Allison Jains. Allison Jains. Was trapped in the box. I'm the cat in the box.
Starting point is 00:29:56 With boots. Galina was trapped in the box with the Amazon returns for six days without food and water. An Amazon employee named Brandi, we're not gonna give her a last name. Brandy. You're a fine girl. She's a hero and she only gets her first name.
Starting point is 00:30:09 That's right, what a good wife she would be. But my love, my life, and my lady. Is the C. Are these boots. Are these boots. Is the C-A-T. Is the C. A-T.
Starting point is 00:30:20 On the phone, Clark said she was so relieved to find out that we love Galena. She was relieved to find out that you love her. Well, I mean you got it. Well, here's the thing Yes, she was like what the hell is this was this some people's just fucked up way of getting rid of their cat You gotta lose the pussy to love You please make that your merch? You gotta lose the pussy. You gotta lose the pussy.
Starting point is 00:30:52 You gotta love the pussy. You will sell out. You will sell out. You'll make like millions of ducks. Like all those Instagram accounts that are like sex memes that just, they also sell merch and they sell out every, there's one called Sorry Dad and they just sell out everything all the time.
Starting point is 00:31:09 Yeah, yeah, yeah. To me and it's just the cat from hanging there, baby. It's hanging on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotta lose the pussy to love the pussy. It's so funny. It is pretty good. After talking to that I got to talk to Brandy.
Starting point is 00:31:20 She was so relieved that we were desperately looking for Clark and her husband booked a flight the next day to reunite with the miracle cat. Only one of you needs to go on that flight. You both don't need to go. Yeah, you don't need to both reunite. It's a freaking cat. It does not care about you.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Randy, if you and I were married. Damn. And it was our cat and it was our indoor cat. Man, I think I'd, if you were like, I'm gonna go, I'd be like, I'm going too. If this happened to one, no. Now, if you were like, They have no kids.
Starting point is 00:31:49 You just go. We know this. If you were like, you just go, then fine, I'll just go. But if I'm... We're not both buying a ticket to California. I don't know. One of you is fine to go. I gotta see that cat as soon as possible. This is a new relationship.
Starting point is 00:32:01 I don't know. They don't have kids. Oh, I'm not saying I'm normal. They both booked the flight. We brought Galina a pink carrier, food, favorite treats, and towels that smelled like home. Okay, she was not gone for six years. Yeah, this is.
Starting point is 00:32:15 This isn't like Tom Hanks in Castaway. Okay, but guys. Towels that smelled like home, how do you know? That's right. If it smells like home. This could be another, I thought the boots smelled like home. Yeah, how would you know if it's your home?
Starting point is 00:32:27 I laid on them and farted for three hours. It smelled like home. It smelled like home. Most cats, like you're gone all day for work and you come back, they yell at you for like an hour. You go away for a few days and come back, your cat is like, where have you been? They're like, man, this cat's gonna be pissed
Starting point is 00:32:43 when we see this cat. Oh, so they're trying to mitigate the backlash. Yes! They're like, yes! I feel like the cat was trying to make a great escape and then she's like, oh, I can't get rid of these people! What is? Freedom!
Starting point is 00:32:55 That is funny. Freedom! All right, so Brandy told Clark that Galena immediately recognized and reacted to Clark's voice when they entered the vet's office. Not true, I don't believe it. I bet. It was an amazing reunion. Galina instantly stopped shaking and relaxed my arms
Starting point is 00:33:09 and I got to hold her again. Despite being skinnier and some mild dehydration, her blood work, she didn't have food for six days, was completely normal and she was completely unharmed. Oh, I'm sure they did. The family packed up. In the shipping they made. Wait, the family packed up and drove 10 hours back home to Utah.
Starting point is 00:33:26 So they flew there and drove home because they didn't want to, I guess, travel with the cat in the air. In the air. But a box is okay. Right. Thank you. We learned that Brandy.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Yeah, the cat would have been like, this is fine. You know what I just did? I just was with six parents. You know what a cat loves? A 10 hour drive. That's right. These people don't have kids, right?
Starting point is 00:33:46 No, they do not. We learned that Brandy knows, we learned that Brandy knows all about cats and rescues them on the side. Man, they lucked out. It's by no coincidence that Galena ended up in her warehouse. Yeah, it is.
Starting point is 00:33:57 I mean, there is no coincidence that, but it was, you're lucky that she's completely a coincidence. That's great. The box Galena was in was split open on one seam that gave her air to breathe. The weather temperatures were ideal and she didn't overheat or freeze. Galena survived because of her microchip, Brandy's kindness, the generosity and God's grace. Yeah, cause without that chip, I don't wouldn't add God into that. Yeah, you have to add God. Do we need to add God into that?
Starting point is 00:34:23 God's grace. This is like that Drake song. Cause she's a miracle cat. Oh right. God's plan. Yeah, that's to add God. Do we need to add God into that? Hey, this is like that Drake song. Because she's a miracle cat. Oh, right. God's plan. Yeah, that's God's plan. That's what Drake was talking about. What did he say?
Starting point is 00:34:30 God's plan. And God's grace. Quote Bill Maher. That's right. Clark said she wants to encourage all pet owners to microchip their pets. Okay, now is not a time for you to then hop up on a soap box. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:42 You're right. We should all be microchipping our pets for various reasons. Just air tag them, microchip them, and triple check your Amazon boxes is what she said, and that's WandaGrow on the morning. Wow, they really learned so much from this. Oh yeah, they learned. Didn't they get a lot?
Starting point is 00:34:58 They gleaned a lot. They really got a lot. That's right. This is an experience. And also, we didn't touch on this. Someone is either vocally or silently blaming whoever packed that box in that relationship. Hell yes.
Starting point is 00:35:11 A hundred. There is a lot of leverage to be worked out in who did what. They hold the relationship capital right now. Who packed the box? You packed it, honey. Yeah, that was a man box with the shoes. The man box.
Starting point is 00:35:23 That was a man doing that. Yeah, that was a guy not paying the shoes. That was a man doing that. He doesn't know how to do it. That was a guy not paying attention. He's not paying attention. And he is gonna pay for that in the relationship for years to come. What are you gonna do, pack me in a box and send me to California?
Starting point is 00:35:36 You can't pack this relationship in a box and send it away, like now they're getting on that. It's that. Oh, I pulled it up really quick. I found a picture of Galena. That's the end. You did? And, yes. This better be a hot cat or none of this I pulled it up really quick. I found a picture of Galena. That's it. And, yes. This better be a hot cat or none of this is worth it.
Starting point is 00:35:48 This better be a hot cat. I think, I don't know who the owner and who Brandy is. It's literally a crapshoot, but gorgeous little cat. Oh, look at that cat. Oh, it is a cute cat and it's not skinny at all. It's a pretty hot cat. By the way, definitely the husband screwed that up. Is that, wait, is that the couple though?
Starting point is 00:36:04 No, I think it's a guy. I think that's Brandy. The woman who found it. The Amazon employee. Here's the box. This is what the box looks like. Wait, the box says cat on it? Yes, those are the shoes.
Starting point is 00:36:15 Caterpillars, but yes, that's great. Yes, wow. That should have been the first clue. Oh my gosh, guys, this cat is a model. Look at this cat. Oh, that's gorgeous. Oh, wow, that is a model look at this cat That's why this made the news who's a good kitty
Starting point is 00:36:41 That's what I call a cat, be a little Easter cracker. Oyster cracker face. Look at those eyes. Those eyes. Those glamour push. Yeah, those eyes are saying why. If they didn't get that cat chipped, that cat was going to another home and then a dead cat. Oh yeah, that cat would have been kidnapped. Cat naps. Get that puss off your face.
Starting point is 00:36:55 Cat naps. Cat naps. Cat niped. Cat niped and cat naps. All right, that's story number two. Dan, give us a little teaser. Oh, okay. Oh.
Starting point is 00:37:04 So there was a poll done in the UK. And we were turning it into a crazy guessing game about how people eat food. Oh my god, I'm so excited. And when we come back, we'll hear about what Dan has going on, how you can support him. It's Dumb People Town with our friend, Erica Rose. We'll be right back.
Starting point is 00:37:20 Stick around, make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey guys, we are back. Again, let's not gloss over the fact that we now know how to say call Utah people what they're called. Utahns. Utahns.
Starting point is 00:37:33 Utahns. Pass me the Utahns. I have to go to the barbecue. Yeah. Can I get a pack of Utahns? And give me Marlboro Reds too. You want them in a hard pack or soft pack or box? Right.
Starting point is 00:37:44 Daniel, tell us what we have come out So much everything's at Daniel van Kirk dot com You can go there if you want to watch my movie wine club great watch my special rose gold amazing special Overshare comedy is the first Wednesday of every month at bespoke LA you You come out to the show you write an over share down and you get a free drink just for putting an overshare in the box. Comics start out their set by reading an overshare, and they'll either spend all their time talking about
Starting point is 00:38:11 your wild thing you should have never done, or go right into their set, but it's super fun. It has all the great tenets of Dan Levy's Gossip Show. It's different, but it's like, I love that participation. It's interactive, crowd involved, and a little improv mixed in with stand up. It's a great idea. And so, Overshare Comedy, first Wednesday of every month.
Starting point is 00:38:29 And then I will be in Cedar Rapids at the beginning of November, I think on the 9th, and then on the Thursday the 14th, I will be Flyover Festival, headlining that comedy festival as well. And then also, some people know that some people don't, but Rory Scovel and I took our show Pen Pals and it's over on the page. We kept it going as Rory moved off to Denver and I took over that feed with a show called The Midnight Air,
Starting point is 00:38:56 which is right here on All Things Comedy. So every every episode is a little bit different whether I'm running down like the top ten crazy American food origin stories or talking about movies I spent so much time talking about the movie trap which is one of those bananas and I was gonna say you kind of fell into it with that one yeah I know I got caught like if the sign says this way for M night Shyamalan you should know it's a trap it was a trap but it's a really really great easy listening show I treat it like an overnight radio show I love it's called really, really great, easy listening show. I treat it like an overnight radio show. I love it.
Starting point is 00:39:26 It's called The Midnight Air. So check that out. Everything's at jenielvancourk.com. All right, let's jump into this last story. This is sent in by Carleen McDermott at She Be Carleen. Wonderful person who sends in stories. Brits admit to scoffing snacks on the toilet
Starting point is 00:39:43 and eating while having sex. What? A poll of 2000 Brits has revealed the strangest places that they have tucked into a snack with things like chomping in the bath and others doing some nibbling in the shed. Psychologist- Nibbling in the shed sounds like a sexual thing.
Starting point is 00:39:58 Yeah. I nibbled her in her shed. You want the little nibble in the shed. The nibble in the shed. Yes. Creepy. Right, creepy. Psychologist Joe Hemmings, speaking on behalf of Pepperami.
Starting point is 00:40:09 Hemmings is such a British name. I like a cheese pizza, but I don't like Pepperami. You don't like Pepperami on your pizza? I don't like it. It's a little too spicy. It gives me heartburn. Will you take it with Hemmings on it? I will have Hemmings on it.
Starting point is 00:40:20 I will have fennel and I will have sausage. Pepperami commissioned the poll. Said there's been some interesting revelations from this research. And the intriguing question is, why do people tend to reach for a snack in somewhat unconventional places? Why do they do that?
Starting point is 00:40:35 Sometimes. But you can't wait? Sometimes, well, I'm really interested when we start to say, we play the game that I've made out of this. You two love snacks more than any people I've ever known. In my life. You are not fat. I have to exercise so much just to look like
Starting point is 00:40:52 I'm kinda out of shape. I like snacks too. I think. They'll snack all the time. Well, but that's good for you. Oh, yeah. No, it depends what you're snacking on. Depends what I'm doing.
Starting point is 00:41:01 If you're not good things, then you're fine. Okay, wait, what do you snack on? Bad stuff. Chips. Like candy? When they see anything fun-sized or like a little mini bag of chips, their eyes light up.
Starting point is 00:41:11 I like chips too. I like chips. You got a little bag of chippies? Yeah. Bad, it's awful. Chocolate-covered, peanut-butter-filled pretzels at Trader Joe's will kill us all. Okay, that's simple.
Starting point is 00:41:23 I'm going to stop by Trader Joe's for no reason right now. Just because I uttered those words. Stop, I don't need shit there. No. I'm just kidding, I won't. Sometimes simply just snacking away from others can give you a moment of peace to enjoy something in its purest form.
Starting point is 00:41:36 Eat your emotions, right Erica? Right, always. While many reach for snacks as a comforting habit, others would prefer people not to know about their cravings. Either way, the locations speak for themselves. Secretive snacking. Of the lengths people will go. Shame snacking.
Starting point is 00:41:53 Shame snacking. To have a quick bite. Okay. This is a little off topic, but what do you guys think about people who pack sandwiches on the plane? Always do it. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:42:05 Here's the deal. I found a really good one that is one, not like very aromatic. Very offensive, yes. And also holds up. What is it? So I love this sandwich. Jersey Mike's.
Starting point is 00:42:17 They have like a turkey and bacon club. I do it with their like rosemary bread, so you're getting a lot of flavor in the bread. And then you don't do any of the tomatoes, none of the lettuce, none of the oil because it's not going to hold up. And you do, I do that with a little Swiss cheese. I literally call it my airplane sandwich. Wow. You're an airplane sandwich guy, but it's only, it really depends on when we're flying. Cause a lot of times like with the time change, I'll land somewhere and be like, well, I wouldn't even be hungry in LA. If I brought you, if
Starting point is 00:42:43 I brought you on a plane, Larchmont wine and cheese shop turkey sandwich. I think that would hold up. I think that would hold up. Because you don't go lettuce and tomato on that either. No, I put avocado on it. I just imagine Erica sitting down to go fly to do it, like a comedy gig, and she's like just whatever.
Starting point is 00:42:59 She had to wake up early in the morning because she's flying out that day. Somebody sits down right next to her and like takes, opening up a refrigerator bag and she's like, are you kidding me? Well there's always a guy, it's usually a man, that packs a sandwich. Why?
Starting point is 00:43:15 And there's a guy next to me on the plane recently had a peanut butter jelly sandwich. I will buy. In the middle seat. Was he smacking his mouth? A little bit, and it did smell like peanut butter and jelly. Yeah, you don't like that. But it was just, in my mind.
Starting point is 00:43:29 It's in your space. But what my mind went to was, wow, his parents must have really loved him. Right? Yeah. That's where my brain went, because I was like. He grew up with a lot of stability.
Starting point is 00:43:40 Yeah, someone who brings a sandwich, that's like a real self-love act, you know? It's a real act of self-care. I'm always blown away. It is. Kinda. When we fly out for shows same day, a lot of times we're on that like 5 a.m. flight,
Starting point is 00:43:52 and you guys love to come back, but you come back super early, so you're on those 5 a.m. I'm always blown away at like 5.30 a.m., 6.30 a.m. What people are eating. Yes! No, they'll go buy a burger. Panda Express, burger. A burger at 5 a.m., what people are eating. Yes! No, they'll go buy a burger. Panda Express, burger.
Starting point is 00:44:06 A burger at 5 a.m. Yes! Panda Express! Give me the orange chicken. How long have you been awake? Like, they must have just not gone to sleep. Right. Or, but I also,
Starting point is 00:44:17 party all night. In a normal scenario, most of you are not up at this time. No, ever. And any of you in this airport who are up at this time are not eating or eating any of this, but I think it goes back to the joke you made about something about eating your emotions.
Starting point is 00:44:30 I think some people get so much anxiety about traveling and stuff like that, flying. It calms them down. That they're like, I just need to eat something that'll make me feel good. I gotta salute to General Tso as I eat. I've never had a meal at an airport that I don't regret. Right, there's never a great meal.
Starting point is 00:44:43 There's never a time where I'm like, that was a good idea. At least on price alone. Yeah. That was smart. That was smart. Yeah, I'm glad. Sure am glad I got four sides. Right. This is the best $24 chicken salad sandwich I've ever had.
Starting point is 00:44:55 Yeah, sushi was a great idea. What? But in Dallas. It's flown in every day. The Earth Cafe though, at LAX is the terminal one and they used to have that pineapple mango smoothie. That was a good smoothie. Now I could do that before a morning flight.
Starting point is 00:45:13 Well you know they now have a Jersey Mike's in terminal two and terminal two connects to terminal one. Why isn't Jersey Mike sponsoring this podcast? Get on it Dan. Also at Midway, there's a Billy Goat Tavern at Midway, great burger and some of the best prices for any like. But not at 5 a.m Dan. Where's Midway, there's a Billy Goat Tavern at Midway, great burger and some of the best prices for any like- But not at 5 a.m. Dan! Where's Midway?
Starting point is 00:45:28 Midway Airport, Chicago, Chicago. Oh, I hate the Chicago airport. O'Hare? It's terrible. It's rough. It's the Atlanta airport of airports. Yeah, it's the worst. Somebody, I can't remember who it was, I feel bad too.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Atlanta, Philly, Phoenix, Chicago. But I was just seeing them do a bit about O'Hare. And they were like, a lot of airports are like, we gotta update, even LaGuardia was like, we gotta get this new. And O'Hare is like, fuck it, we don't care. We either there's nowhere to walk. Yeah, we are staying.
Starting point is 00:45:56 You fight it out. We've got an escalator on an escalator. Oh, guess what we put up? 50 more flags. Great, nice. Yes, wonderful. And crazy coked out neon ceilings. And like the L terminal and the K terminal
Starting point is 00:46:12 just like branch off from each other. Yeah. It's so weird. It's so confusing. And then the food court is always just so congested. So jammed. By million people in the food court. That's where COVID started.
Starting point is 00:46:23 I'm just kidding. It would be surprised. The O'Hare open market. Okay, so there's lengths people will go to have a quick bite. The study also found that crisps, chocolate bars, and biscuits were the most commonly eaten snacks in unusual places, along with sandwiches, sweets, and fruit.
Starting point is 00:46:38 While 22% prefer chomping on chicken bites the most. So nuggets. Yes. McNuggets. Bites. With one in five opting for snacks that are packed with protein. Like a good old fashioned Chomps beef stick.
Starting point is 00:46:52 Those are good. Unbelievable, I do the turkey ones of those. Those are great. Chomps would be a sponsor. Chomps. Here now are the categories for odd places where people have eaten food. Let's hear them.
Starting point is 00:47:02 You have to guess, three of you, have to guess the ratio or the percentage of people that are eating. You have to guess, the three of you, have to guess the ratio or the percentage of Brits who do these things. First one, one out of how many people confess to eating while taking a bath. Now they pulled 2000 people. Taking a bath? Aren't you wet? An example would be one in seven, one in 102. What are you eating, a ramen? So an example would be one in seven, one in 102. You guys have to guess one in how many people confess to eating while in the bath.
Starting point is 00:47:32 Sometimes I'll have tea when I'm in the bath. That's different. That's like you're treating yourself in a nice way. Exactly. But eating. So you're saying out of 2000 people, you say one in every 22 people. I can't take a bath without eating a five course meal.
Starting point is 00:47:48 I really need all the course. Thanksgiving dinner. You're like Francis in Pee-wee's Big Adventure. There's like a, I have a tray that goes across the bathtub. People do that. I put a napkin, I don't care how wet the napkin is. It's a washcloth. Where you going, Trey?
Starting point is 00:48:02 We got one in 22, one in? One in 50. One in 50. How many people? 22, one in? One in 50. One in 50. How many people? One out of 200. One in 200. Okay.
Starting point is 00:48:10 The ratio for people who confess to eating food while taking a bath out of 2,000 people polled is one in five. What? What? Yes. You dirty birds. Oh my gosh, we thought Americans were the fat ones.
Starting point is 00:48:25 One in five. God. You can't wait five minutes? Yeah. You gotta eat while you're in the bath. I mean, or how long is your bath? Are you bathing for so long that you're now into your meal time?
Starting point is 00:48:37 The chicken's naked. Is someone bringing you the food? Food. You're Butler. I feel like a bat. People do do the whole I I'm gonna set up my iPad and I'm gonna lay out the little bench. Candles, music, I can do that.
Starting point is 00:48:48 It feels like a charcuterie meal to me if you're bath-y. Bring a board. I don't know. Drinking tea works for me. Yeah, drinking tea makes sense. Drinking water in a bath is fine. Or even having a smoothie. Honey, I'm in the bath,
Starting point is 00:49:01 bring the melon baller. Champagne in the bath is fine. Ready for another one? What percentage, so I'm looking one and a hundred. What percentage of people out of the 2,000 people poll admit to eating snacks in the shed? In the bathroom. The shed.
Starting point is 00:49:18 Not a shed shed? That's the bathroom. Really? The shed's the bathroom? The loo, I think it's the bathroom. The loo maybe? They call it the shed? I pictured the shed. I pictured a shed's the bathroom? The loo, I think it's the bathroom. The loo, maybe? I don't know. They call it the shed?
Starting point is 00:49:26 I pictured the shed. I pictured a shed shed. I thought it was a shed shed. Out in the back? Yes. Yes, like a bathroom shed. Maybe they mean like garage. No, give a percentage.
Starting point is 00:49:33 Maybe they mean like the garage. Percentage, 40%. 40 from Jason. Yeah, 50%. 50. 60%. 60. The percentage of people who admit to eating snacks
Starting point is 00:49:43 in the shed is 18% One out of how many people confess To eating food in their Wendy house now Wendy, Wendy house is like a doll house, like a little playhouse for kids. Oh, well, lots of people are gonna be eating in the Wendy house. One in how many? Are you eating Wendy?
Starting point is 00:50:12 Go into their child's playhouse out in the backyard. To eat. To sneak a snack. One out of five. One out of five. One out of 10. One out of 10. One out of six.
Starting point is 00:50:23 One out of six. One of you is exactly right. I'm staying at one out of ten. So really quickly, you can stay with your answer or you can jump on someone else's. I'm staying. The ratio of people who sneak a snack in their little Wendy house. They have Wendy's in the Wendy's. Is one in ten. What? Pub pretzel sandwich. Why not? Stick it in the Wendy's. Is one in 10. Yeah! What? Okay. Pub pretzel sandwich, why not? Stick it in the Wendy house.
Starting point is 00:50:49 When it comes to snagging food out of the bin. That would be the trash can. Ew. Ew. Come on. Which still looks perfectly fine in their opinion. Which still looks fine. I don't wanna know.
Starting point is 00:51:01 How many people, one in how many people have said they eat garbage food? One in eight. One in eight from Randy Sklar. One in 30. One in 30 from Jason Sklar. One out of 200. She's Eric, it does not like this.
Starting point is 00:51:16 I don't like it, yeah, I'm not approving. She doesn't like it. No. Whatever the number is. The ratio for people who they go to throw their pizza crust away and see somebody else in the family through a good pepperami pizza slice in there. Although my dad used to do that, he'd be like, don't let that go to waste.
Starting point is 00:51:37 Why aren't you eating that? I'll eat that. I'm gonna save this. Who put this here? God bless your dad. The ratio is? What did you say? 200. 1 in 8. Randy said this here? God bless your dad. The ratio is, what did you say? One out of 200. What did you say?
Starting point is 00:51:46 One in eight. Randy said one in eight? One in 30. One in 20. Wow. Wow, just missing a zero. Still too much, still too much, I know. Okay, last one.
Starting point is 00:51:57 Okay. One in how many people confess to feeling peckish while getting hot and steamy in the bedroom. Admit to eating food while having sex. Snack and sex, sex snacks. That should be my word, sex snacks. There are sexual acts that involve food. I mean, I don't think that counts.
Starting point is 00:52:18 I think he's saying straight up eating it. Edible underwear. You're popping a bag of combos. He's saying you have to be eating it. If you were having sex with them and they started eating chips, you'd be like, what are we even doing here? Get off of me.
Starting point is 00:52:29 Get off of me. What does it count between rounds or something? No, this is in the middle of the act. It could be in the free use. That's a type of sex people have now. It could just have some Ritz crackers by the bedside. Honey, you're getting crumbs on my chest. Honey, you're. That one my chest. Honey, you're-
Starting point is 00:52:45 That one I kinda get, cause we're like, what if they're losing energy and they need a snack? Yeah, honey. Protein snacks. It's like a Snickers commercial, and there's like someone on top of you and it's like Mike Tyson,
Starting point is 00:52:55 and you're like, honey, get a Snickers, and then it becomes your husband. Yeah, yeah. Okay, one in how many people- I think this is gonna be more than you think. Have sex snacks. I can't even. One out of how many? One out of five. you have sex snacks I can't even one out of how many yeah one out of five one out of five one out again I'm gonna go one
Starting point is 00:53:10 out of ten again okay I'm gonna go one out of 25 one out of 25 that's just at that is a weird time like 2000 brits eat it's also Brits so like we don't like to talk about yeah that's true. They're not as open. They're secretive. I feel like if it was Americans, we might really get a different number. What are you eating down there? Meat?
Starting point is 00:53:30 No, a Scottish egg. Ew, ew! Yeah, but I mean, what are you eating? I didn't know what a Scottish egg was until I ordered it, and then I realized it has pork around it, and I don't eat meat, so I was like, what is this? Yeah, Scotch egg. This is everything that I can have.
Starting point is 00:53:48 This is all that's wrong in the world. It's not good. Scotch egg. Scotch egg, no. We're getting out of here. I like deviled eggs. Deviled eggs are great. I love deviled eggs.
Starting point is 00:53:55 Love deviled eggs. They're so good. It's like, the deviled egg is like the best. I don't like the chives when they do the chives. It's the best repurpose of something that's been in there. It's like, we cut this out, we took the thing out. We turned the thing into a bowl., we turned the thing into a bowl, and we turned the thing into a bowl and put it back in.
Starting point is 00:54:08 Upgrade. Upgrade the egg. You took the egg and you made it better. Just don't ever order that at an airport. Or when it's 115 degrees outside, right. Okay. Okay. We're leaving on this. Go see Erika Rhodes. Go see Erika while she's on tour.
Starting point is 00:54:22 ErikaRhodesComedy.com or just follow her at ErikaRhodes on Instagram, R-H-O-D-E-S. Get your tickets for all of our shows and Dan's shows in the future. Come to live comedy shows and don't just watch online. You can see us all. Yes, see us all in person.
Starting point is 00:54:38 Oh my God, every time we do a show, I always feel like the audience leaves better than when they started. Yes, me too. Review one more time, you said one in 25. I said one in 10. Which one is this? How many people are having sex next?
Starting point is 00:54:51 Oh, one out of five. Yeah, she's like a lot. According to 2000 Bricks. They're all eating. The ratio for people having a hot and steamy while getting hot and steamy, hot pocket in their hot pocket. Hey, come on now. It is one and 20.
Starting point is 00:55:09 Oh! Yeah, over here. Very good. I feel like one and 20 was every answer. There was like two of them. There was like three of them. Two of them. Everything was one out of 20.
Starting point is 00:55:16 Yeah, so one and 25. I don't trust this at all. You have a one and 20 chance of loving this show. Thank you, join our Patreon and all that great stuff and oh snap, we gotta get back to work. I'm hungry. Yes!

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