Dumb People Town - Esther Povitsky - Rehome My Cheeseburger

Episode Date: August 14, 2018

This week, Esther Povitsky (Alone Together, Glowing Up) joins the Sklars and Daniel Van Kirk in Dumb People Town! In Story 1, Starbucks customers are shocked when a man kicks his way through the ceiling. In Story 2, a man puts a 6-year-old McDonalds cheeseburger and fries up for sale on Ebay. In Story 3, a couple, high on bath salts, mistakes fireflies for alien lasers. 

It's a good show! Couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast jam with co-host Armand Dan. Banders, don't be a jerk. Cause when the music gets the funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, punk your downies, Dumb People Town. Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population EP. Oh no!

Yes, you! You're in girl. I am so excited to have you in a star of TV show and another great podcast on this network glowing up, which I really want to do by the way. That would be so much fun. You guys have to come do it. I want to do it. Male products,

because I use a lot of product up in this bitch. Yeah. We talk about, I mean, it's kind of all over the place. It's a lot of beauty, health, wellness, diet, food. I love it. We love to talk about food.

I love to talk about food. I would get in that with you, and then we did an awesome show that you did that I'm going to beg you to come back and to do again, a live show that you do called I don't know the name of it

but this is what I call it Esther Povitsky Goes Through Your Purse that's basically it it's kind of like Little Esther Goes Through Your Stuff is kind of the real name it's a show I used to do

a live show I did at UCB every month a couple years ago and I did it this year at the SF Sketch Fest with you guys I will beg you both to be back on.

Better get Dan on. Yes. Dan's here. It was so much fun. Because what you have on your person at all times says so much about you. Dan is so good.

This is why he's so good on this show. Dan is so good at like knowing one person by one fact. You can pull one thing out of their person. Dan would say to the person, oh, you have pull one thing out of their person. Like, Dan would, like,

say to the person, oh, you have that? You're the kind of person who opens their windows with the air conditioning on it. And, like, then it's like, yeah, that's who you are. That's exactly it.

Especially now that I carry a little man bag. Do you have it at Merce? Yeah, it's right here. Oh, Dan, look at your Merce, man. So much respect for that. Oh, thank you. The pockets are not enough

for anybody. No. Thank you. I hate it. Thank you, Jesus. Here's what we feel like, like and tell us if you agree the world is getting dumber at an astronomical rate oh i feel like i can't read you used to be able to read right yeah like i absolutely agree with you i feel like i'm i when i try to read i'm like oh i must not be able to read because you used to be able to do it yeah but, but I'm like, why am I just at Instagram?

Like, I must just like pictures and I can't read words. I can't write cursive anymore. That's so funny because I actually do think you're tapping into what is happening all around us. If you're like a kind of person who cares about that, or you're at least aware of that, then you're still, in my opinion, in the smart grid. That's happening to everyone and people don't care. They don't notice. And the dumb is getting louder, and so it's winning.

This show, we get dumb stories from our dumb ears on the ground, who are amazing listeners. They find ridiculous true crime stories that highlight how dumb people are, and we just try and make fun of it. We get to make fun of it. Comedy is our way to fight back, and so I'm happier here. Daniel has a story. Let's jump into it.

Let's do it. Ready? Ready? fight back and so i'm happier here daniel has a story let's jump in let's do it ready sent in by sharon toman at sharon toman s-h-a-r-o-n-t-o-m-a-r thanks toman char on to man four words here we go a number of customers at a burnaby burnaby that's got to be England. Right? I think it's Canada. Oh, really? Burnaby. B-U-R-N-A-B-Y. Isn't Burnaby Jones a...

It was an old TV show. We had Barnaby's in the Chicagoland area. Did you? Oh, yeah. What was that? Yeah, we did. Pizza. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm from Northern Illinois. Barnaby's. So good. This comes out of the Vancouver Sun. Okay. So, a number of customers at a Burnaby, or barnaby what it's got to be burnaby starbucks got quite the caffeine jolt i love an early joke you know wow you guys are so good at this already but we don't know we could be wrong an extra jolt

they said got quite the caffeine jolt on Saturday. Gosh. In my mind, I'm like, they just got four shots of espresso instead of one. That would not be newsworthy. That would not constitute dumb. It could be dumb behavior. They got quite the caffeine jolt on Saturday when a man who had sneaked into the store's ceiling vent got stuck and kicked his way through a wall to escape.

Okay, so... So people are at a Starbucks on a Saturday. Listening to Nora Jones, presumably. Not writing their novel. Yes, talking to their friends. Yep. Some who are there and some who aren't there. FaceTiming people who don't want to talk to them.

Yes. Talking with all the other phones so we get to hear half of their conversation. Yep. It's probably like six o'clock at night and someone's been there since they unlocked the door.

The employees are suspiciously looking at the black guy in the corner. Of course. It's Burnaby, guys. It's Burnaby. Somebody burst through a wall like the fucking Kool-Aid guy.

If you burst through a wall, are you going to yell, hey, Kool-Aid? I think if you don't... What did he yell? All right, or... Hey, everybody. Hey, Kool-Aid I think if you don't What did he yell Alright or Hey everybody Hey

Except Kool-Aid All the kids said hey I hope he did it And with that tone Hey everybody I'm going through Some shit right now guys I'm still doing the wall thing

But I don't feel good about it Did he really Burst out the wall Yes I can't decide If I would be really scared Or really really excited That like someone Some people freak out And you stand up Like We're all getting presents Right now the wall. I can't decide if I would be really scared or really really excited that someone was

Some people freak out and you stand up like We're all getting presents right now. You think a present is behind a wall burst. It's 2018's holiday character. Did you ever think that the Kool-Aid guy broke through the wall because he was self-conscious that he couldn't fit through the door?

Oh, that is so sweet of you. I can't even go sideways. He's round. Me ruining this wall will draw away from the fact that he couldn't fit through the door. Oh, that is so sweet of you. So he came in hot. He's like, I can't even go sideways. He's round. Look, me ruining this wall will draw away from the fact that I couldn't have fit through the door. That's it. Doors aren't my friends. Right.

The man apparently entered the Starbucks at 6200 McKay Avenue. Put that on the dumb people town walking tour. By the way, Jason and I were just in Schaumburg, Illinois, doing the Chicago Improv, which was amazing. We were with our buddy Nate Abshire. The shows were incredible. Thank you to all the townies who came out. Heck yeah.

We met the guy who does and updates. And curates. Curates the Don't People Tell walking tour. So every address, Esther, that we get from these stories, this guy in Chicago puts a dot on an active Google map. So awesome. So if anybody wanted to do a walkie, they could go to these places where they work. And some people do. We just had somebody on the Facebook page post a picture of them

going to the... You'll love this out of context, especially, Esther. Going to the movie theater where the guy decided to divorce his wife because she put salt on his popcorn. He said that was an act of betrayal and their marriage was over. That is so cool. I don't even know her anymore.

I love walking tours. I get really obsessed with visiting places, too. I once, like, when I was in New Orleans, there was a Bachelor contestant that I was obsessed with, and I, like, walked to where she worked. Ooh. That wasn't weird at all. I know. Well, she was deceased, so I wasn't stalking her.

It's really sad. Okay, okay. But she was, like, really... Is. It's really sad. Okay, okay. But she was like really... Is she a ghost? Yes. That's okay. She was really pretty and I was really into her. Not that way, but I just looked up to her and said, what?

Oh, no. Jason gets it. He's been to Sir for brunch 20 times because he loves being in the Puff Rules. I know. Do you like that show? I do like the show. Me too. I love it.

What I do is I often say, if my wife and I go out for a night out early, I'm like, we don't know where we're going to go. I'm like, we got to go to Cirque. She's like, no, we're not wasting it on that. Have you been there? Never. I've been there twice. Do those guys work there?

I've been to the bar. They have a pretty good happy hour. I've heard that. Have you been there? No, but I've heard the happy hour is really good. They do have a good happy hour. It's right by Gracias Madre, which is the best mexican restaurant in the city so expensive i know but no their happy hour is amazing too at gracias madre yes all right what are we doing here

well you talk about loving food and you're talking about your podcast if we get you started i know it's true i just want to say that the guacamole is so small and so overpriced. I agree. Like, you need at least three. Hit that happy hour. Copy that. Moving on. Here we go. So, guy busts through a wall at a Starbucks in Berkley. In the middle of the day.

The individual, so they said, okay, here we go. I'll re-re-requit. Like, it's the wall's fault that he snuck in and got stuck. The man apparently entered the Starbucks at 6200 McKay Avenue around 1130 a.m. Saturday, according to a staff member who spoke to PostMedia but did not want to be identified. The individual then locked himself into a single-person washroom, unscrewed a covering from a vent, and crawled inside. The Starbucks employee who spoke to PostMedia said the man had been in there some time, but because there were multiple multiple washrooms neither customers nor staff noticed the occupied washroom so this is going on for a while nobody knows oh so he went into the bathroom okay yes he locked the door yes okay this is how dumb i am i thought he busted through the door then went into the bathroom and locked the door and people were like

they didn't notice that he was in there right no he this is before he busted through the door then went into the bathroom and locked the door and people were like they didn't notice that he was in there right no he this is before he busted through the wall yes

he goes into the bathroom I thought it was after oh no these people are really done they're into their screenplay you didn't just see that guy bust through the wall and go into the bathroom

no everyone just was cool with taking a selfie sounds like today you're really done I know I'm just kidding come on

quote he thought he could stay there until closing I guess to rob the place said the employee who thinks the man may have also taken a brief nap while waiting it out so he's so he's right now in the vent waiting yes and then he's gonna yes but the bathroom is locked yeah so he locked the bathroom went up into the vent and then somehow got down into like the walls can you even imagine crawling through a vent like doesn't that send a shiver down your spine?

Oh, no. I get claustrophobic. Yeah. I just watched the Robin Williams doc where they show the little egg he gets in as Mork and Mindy, and I'm like, that's like the St. Louis Arch.

There's no way I'm getting in that thing. We took Dan to St. Louis, and there's the- Have you been in it? No, I drove past. I was like, I do not want to go. I thought it was like an elevator,

and I'm like, I can handle an elevator. What is it? You get in, it's this tiny little egg with seats in it. No way in, no way out. No way in, no way out. And Dan just got in there for a second.

He was like, nope, I know my limits. They were like, Dan, get out. I'm like, no. I know my limits. I know what I can do. I can sit here and fight off a panic attack if you guys want for 25 minutes or however long this takes. Girl, I am with you. Thank you.

I know my limits as well. Yes. Because even in an elevator, like a normal elevator, I am with you. Thank you. I know my limits as well. Yeah. Yes. Because even in an elevator, like a normal elevator, I always look at the little panel like if this comes to it, I can climb up through that. So you could never go up

the glass elevator up the Eiffel Tower. Can you climb out on top of it like a normal elevator? Like is there a little... I mean, but you're out in the whole outside. Yeah, I could handle that.

You could handle the height of it. The idea that I'm in this enclosed place that there was no way in and no way out. I can't do the glass elevator at the Eiffel Tower. I have a panic attack just looking at how high we're going. Having never been, I guess I can't answer in full honesty. I don't think I could do the St. Louis thing.

Yeah. What are those things called where you go up on a ski slope kind of? Oh, a chairlift. No. A gondola. A gondola. I was in New Zealand, and we were supposed to do one. And I remember every time one came around, we were supposed to get on. I was like, you go ahead. I was in New Zealand, and we were supposed to do one, and I remember every time one came around,

we were supposed to get on, and I was like, you go ahead, you go ahead. It took like seven of them before I like, okay. Yeah, and then you went up there. Yeah, that stuff is scary. So yeah, this person's like in the walls, like in a vent. Okay, so already a place that none of us really would go. Just dieharding it.

Yeah, go to Starbucks, climb up into the the van have a good time how are you not scared of so many things i don't know i have no idea okay so then the employee said it would have it would have been hot and dark up in the ceiling where the man was located and that it would have been impossible to return the same way he entered because of the way the vents and gates closed so maybe he also eventually figured out, like, oh, I'm a wall person now. Now I'm like, I just heard the idea of you go into the thing and a gate closes behind you.

You can't get out. So there's that moment where you can't get out. Oh, that is terrifying. According to the play, another staffer later noticed the sounds of footsteps coming from the ceiling, but assumed it was building maintenance crews, so they didn't invest yet. On the roof.

Yeah, or up in the roof. Right. By the way. They're just like hearing footsteps and yelling out like, Rachel! R-C-Y-T-L! Rachel! What? It's my stuff, ready?

So I never get my name wrong. Oh, I said no whip. I know that's like a thing. I said, what are you looking the ceiling for? I said no whip on this. Can't you order like pumps of things, too? I'm not paying for it. Oh, I said no whip. I said, what are you looking the ceiling for? I said no whip on this. Can't you order like pumps of things too? I'm not paying for it. I can barely get the people at Starbucks to care about what they're making.

Let alone care about what's happening to the building they work on. Do you ever get a R-A-N-D-I, Randy, for your name? No. I always love how Starbucks names get messed up. It gets creative. Okay, I'm going to ask you guys now. This started at 11.30. How long do you think he was in the walls?

Because at a certain time, a loud banging sound began to come from a spot inside the wall originating close to the ceiling at one end of the shop. So how long do you think? So it started at 11.30. I think he freaked out really fast, and it lasted like 45 minutes. Okay, so you're going 12.15 from Esther. I say he's in there for four hours.

Jason says four hours. I think it's two o'clock. Two o'clock. So two and a half hours. Two and a half hours. The time of the banging and the man trying to break out of the wall started at around 2.30 p.m.

Andy Sklar. The employee said a man then proceeded to kick a hole in the drywall about 12 feet above the ground. Oh, my God. So you'd be like, oh, there's a demon. There's a demon in this Starbucks. Wow. I would be running out of that. I would.

I think I would probably. Turning tables over, like knocking people's laptops off. See, I wouldn't want to be embarrassed like I'm the one freaking out. So I'd like try to play it cool. Like, oh, this must be normal. You're acting like you see somebody outside. You take a phone call. You're like, oh, I'll be right out.

Guys, let me know what happens with that. I just need to take this. You just keep typing away. You're like, no, I don't see it. I'm just very chill and cool. What? I'm just sending emails. They said he kicked a hole in the drywall about 12 feet above the ground and yelled

for people to help him. Yeah. I tried to rob you. Help me. Help me. Like, what is going on in the other side of this Starbucks wall? There's a person fighting through the wall to get out. Okay.

If you believe in alternative universes. He's found a peel. He's found a hole in the space-time continuum. In a movie, this is the scene of rebirth. He's coming through the 12-foot-up vagina. This is Stargate. He's broken through another plane. This is like when they're born in Raising Arizona,

when the guys escape prison, and they're coming out through the mud. It's like they're being born again. I am curious, at this point in the story, if you're in the Starbucks, what do you really think is happening? What's your serious instinct? I think someone's trying. The banging will start first, right?

Yeah. So then you're probably like, what the hell? Okay, so if I was in there for real. Yes. And I was in there and I was setting up shop, doing my thing, I would think that this is a worker on the roof who fell down and fell through and is like stuck and needs to get out and this is the only way that he can get out.

I think some of that is because of your time in Dumb People Town. The guy, the Qdoba guy who like fell between a Qdoba and had to get broken through a wall. You've seen this story. I would think the banging would be happening. I would say, oh, they're working on something up on the roof.

Like maybe they're working on the air conditioning or something like that. And then when a foot came through the wall, I'd start running. Certainly, I wouldn't think someone was trying to rob the Starbucks. Exactly. That's the last thing. Trying to get these stirs. I think I would take a defensive position. Damn. Yeah. And then once I heard help, I would probably leave. You to get these stirs. I think I would take a defensive position. Damn.

Yeah. And then once I heard help, I would probably... You would try to help someone. Someone wants 11 Sheryl Crow CDs, and the only way they can get them is to go into a Starbucks. Is Starbucks even a common place for a robbery? I've never heard of that. I don't think so.

I was going to say, is Starbucks even a common place for Sheryl Crow's music to be sold? Yes. Hard yes. Hard yes. Hard yes. As a manager began to evacuate customers and staff for safety, the man was able to get out from behind the wall and fell to the ground, then

fled the store. Don't you also picture one person with their headphones on while all this is happening behind them? Nodding. No idea. It's happening right behind him. Turn to it. It just beats by Dre. Quote, he was in the ceiling

and he was trying to punch the wall out so he could get out. Wait, if he's in the ceiling, does that mean he's coming from down? Yes, down. Said the employee who said the police were called instantly. He started yelling.

This is what he's yelling coming through the wall. I want someone to guess. What do you think he was yelling, Esther? He blamed somebody. I'll give you a hint. Oh. God damn it, Carol.

Why'd you leave me? Damn it, Starbucks. I don't know. Help. Randy, you said no whip. He started yelling, quote, robbery. My girlfriend's going to kill me. Oh.

I have no clue. He's saying I'm being robbed? Or this is a robbery. And when my girlfriend finds out that I screwed this up. Giving you full context of his life. There's a robbery. When my girlfriend finds out that I screwed this up, she's going to kill me. Look at how hard my life is.

It's so crazy to call it your crime before you've committed it. Right. You've literally been caught, but you haven't even done anything wrong. You could have gotten away and say like, look, I, this is it.

If I'm this guy, this is the way you play this off. So, I was in the bathroom. I went to the bathroom. I locked the door. I could not unlock the door.

Couldn't unlock the door. Couldn't get out the door. So, I was like, maybe if I go out through the vent and then I found myself going, things locked behind me. I found, and this is where I am and i'm so sorry but yeah no do you think you'd

get like i see you for the damage right that's it i'm so curious does he have to pay we'll find out the employee said when staff tried to unlock the washroom they found a backpack had been jammed up against the door and tools they believe had been used to unscrew the vent cover don't you need one tool yeah screwdriver yeah that's it i Don't you need one tool? Yeah. Screwdriver. Yeah, that's it. I didn't even picture a tool. I thought, like, just pop it off like in a cartoon.

There's no surveillance footage available at this time. According to Burnaby RCMP, police were called to the Starbucks just before 3 p.m. on Saturday to report the report. Burnaby Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Yes. So they came in on moose. A couple of moose.

Yep. They just tracked up there. Elk. They had a report of a possibly intoxicated man, quote, coming through the roof. These cops are probably like, I don't know, dude. It's 2.30 in the afternoon. I'm just going to say that Starbucks coffee for me has gotten incredibly weak. And it's either maybe that I myself have become like a more intense coffee drinker.

For sure. I think Starbucks needs to start doing this in all their stores just to wake people up. Yes, people jump through the walls. Wake them up. Or, you know, because it's Canada, like someone walked by, that wouldn't happen at a Tim Hortons. Yeah, exactly. They don't let that stuff happen over there. But I think, truthfully, Starbucks, they're like, hey, our coffee might not be strong, but our experiences are.

Yes, it's an activation, if anything. Coffee might not be strong, but our experiences are. Yes, it's an activation, if anything. Wait, I'm now curious, why didn't he just sit in the bathroom and wait there all day? Because he thought if someone was going to knock on the door. But he left his book bag in there. I know, that's the reason. Wait, what's the knock on the door reason?

Well, no, if for some reason, they probably have a key to unlock the door so eventually they would eventually someone would be like hey someone's been in there for like an hour and a half can you unlock the door i think they're unlocking if he's waiting in there he's screwed so he was like i'm gonna wait in the wall but i'm like you why didn't he just maybe just didn't want to hang out in the bathroom why didn't he just wait right inside the vent in the wall yes you know i mean like just wait right there why do you have to like crawl up through the system like you're gonna have to give him a good talking cheese you know i mean like in a habit trail human habit trail a request for comment to starbucks canada has not yet been returned and i think this answers your question of uh whether i had to pay or all that stuff because this is the final sentence of this story and it's the most canadian thing about it

there will not be any charges recommended. Oh! Which means they're not going to have him pay for it because you have to prove liability, right? I thought it was an insurance thing. But isn't the insurance going to be like, you have to charge him because that's how we get to make him pay. He's at fault.

But I love that Starbucks is like, you know what, just a Canadian through the ceiling, that's fine. Oh, it's okay. You didn't do anything. There's such a big corporation that this is just like you know what, just a Canadian through the ceiling, that's fine. Oh, it's okay. You didn't do anything. There's such a big corporation that this is just like... That's a write-off. Yeah, this is nothing. This is a drop out of the roof.

That's just the cost of doing business at Starbucks Canada. We got problems. Coffee sometimes doesn't get delivered on time. Guys fall out of roofs. That's just the cost of being Starbucks. We've got to fund for that. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That's story one

there you go stupidity in a Starbucks wall story one when we come back we're going to hear about the new season of Esther's new TV our TV show season two

right yes very excited about that and a little bit more about our podcast this is Dumb People Town stay with us hey guys

welcome back to DPT we've got Esther Povitsky tell them about your show you got a tv show that's great oh thank you so much yeah we our second season is coming out on august 1st on freeform actually this season all episodes are coming out at once on hulu and freeform yeah and it's just about me and my best friend and our platonic female male best friendship in la we're comedians and we it's called alone together it's called alone together that's right and uh yeah we don't really fit in and we try and we fail

that's by the way first of all amazing to get a second season of any show thank you uh totally in your voice i've seen it it's really fun and i again i would watch i was like oh man i'm really psyched that you're getting to be like the reason why you're funny on stage is a standup. We've seen you do standup. It comes out in the show in a great way. It enhances in a good way. Hard to do sometimes to translate why is this person funny in life and then translate into a narrative show. That is so nice of you.

Thank you. It's funny because, so we came out, our first season came out in January. So it's the second season is coming out quite fast. Just because that's, I don't know, they wanted to rush it. That's always a good thing. Good sign. Well, who knows? But the compliment that I get that's kind of a backhanded compliment, but I love it so much, the thing that we keep hearing the most is I put it on not thinking I was going

to keep watching it, and then somehow I just kept watching it. That's great. No, that's winning people over. That's a huge compliment. I always tell the story about when I saw John Doerr for the first time on TV. I saw a John Doerr television show. I turn on the TV. I've got a remote in my hand. I'm about to change the channel, and I'm like, who is this weird bearded Canadian guy?

He starts talking. He starts doing a bit. I'm holding the remote in my hand. To change the channel. To change the channel still. I'm waiting to change it. He's so funny. I sit a bit I'm holding the remote in my hand to change the channel to change the channel still I'm waiting to change it he's so funny I sit down I sit through the whole episode

and then I DVR seasons pass like get every single episode that I can old and new and I'm like this guy in 22 minutes converted me from like

nothing into a super fan wow and that's what's probably happening with their show because people may not know about it and then they find it.

Hopefully, yeah. I think, too, like, it is, this is kind of dumb people town related where it's a show that's not complicated. There's really no effort

or thinking required. People, you can just kind of throw it on and then... And engage with it on just a simple level. Or clean your room while you're listening.

No, yeah, that's how I can say all my entertainment. Yeah. That's awesome. Well, I, that's how I can say well, my entertainment. That's awesome. Well, I'm so excited for season two. And what's the date it will be out? So it'll be out on August 1st, all episodes on Freeform and Hulu. Awesome.

I love it. So check it out and let us know what you guys think about it. And Dan, you got another story? I do. Let's do it. We're in Canada again. Oh, yeah. Oh, Brandon.

An Ontario man is trying to sell a McDonald's cheeseburger and fries. The McDonald's cheeseburgers and fries is six years old. This was sent in by Joshua at Coach Moffat. M-O-F-F-A-T-T. Let's just start out. I'm going to make a blanket statement, Jay. Can I please make a blanket statement? Blanket it out, brother.

Food is not memorabilia. It can never be. It can never be. It should never be. It's not a collector's item. Can I challenge you on that? I have these Elvis Presley themed Reese's Peanut Butter Cups that came out. They're limited edition. In 77?

No, they came out in 2007. Okay, so 11 years old. So they're wrapped and they're never coming back. Is that memorabilia? You have them in a freezer. Where do you have them? Under my bed at my parents' house. Absolutely.

They're eaten. They're eaten by a bug. Those rats have come, mice have come, and they've eaten those. They're gone. When was the last time you checked to see if they were there? 2009? After our apocalypse, someone's going to find them, and you're going to save those people. You're going to save somebody's life when the zombies really come.

Now, look, those are technically some sort of collector's item because of the Elvis. Yes. I would say the wrapper is the collectible. But they have banana in them. Oh, I get it. So they're a collector's edition. Yes. Chocolate banana, peanut butter banana sandwiches are what he used to eat.

Exactly. On the toilet. By the way, that sounds so good. I know. I don't know how you didn't eat it. That sounds so good. I always think about this. Isn't it crazy that Elvis's legacy is a peanut butter and banana sandwich?

You know what? I think it's music also. Oh, he is a musician? Yeah. Oh, I only knew him from the sandwiches. He wasn't just a taste seeker. If I were Elvis in heaven, I'd be like, I had one peanut butter and banana sandwich.

And now this is what everybody wants me. Eddie Murphy's bit. That's why Eddie Murphy was such a great stand-up. Eddie Murphy's bit on Delirious, his bit about how Elvis would be in movies, and he could not act, and so they would make him sing every single one of his lines. Hey Elvis, we're going to win this race?

We're going to win this race. How about some lemonade, Elvis? Lemonade! That's cool. So funny! That's really funny. The fact that we know that straight up by 35 years later.

That's cool. And you delivered it great. I get it. We understand. We delivered it. Almost like we're comedians. That's cool. And you delivered it great. Like, I get it. Oh, yeah. We own it. We understand. We own it. We delivered it. Almost like we're comedians.

It's weird. So weird. But McDonald's is fast food. Okay, yes. There's nothing collector about that. It's also meant to disappear like your shame

for like being there. Right. Like it should just come. I was going to say that like it's made fast, you eat it fast, and then the shame lasts a long time.

Exactly. That's the collector's item. the shame lasts a long time. Exactly. That's the collector's item. The shame lasts all the way home. But I'll throw out there, McDonald's food has a lot of preservatives, quite famously. Just throw in that out there. Please continue. We're going to do it. Dave Alexander says the cheeseburger and fries he bought from McDonald's six years ago and

placed on a shelf are quote surprisingly decent looking still quote the fries are stunningly good-looking the fries look like they were purchased this morning the rural Ontario farmer morning Friday the rural Ontario farmer told as it happens guest host Robin sorry be something. Like even the regular host is like, I can't be there for this. Press now. Press now. Robin, step in. She's like, I haven't done this in seven years.

Well, this sandwich has been around. Robin, you got a Y in your name and this is what you're dealing with. Quote, the burger itself has darkened a little bit. The bun is about as hard as a hockey puck. That's on brand for a Canadian farmer. How hard is it? You know how when you freeze over a lake in front of your house? You know when an elk goes to the bathroom in the winter and about five hours later?

It's as hard as an elk dropping. Elk dropping. But it looks just brand new cosmetically. I'm going to show you guys a photo of the six-year-old cheeseburger. Dan, I'm going to ask you because you've seen the photo. Dan, you know us. Yeah. Do you think we're going to think it looks great? No. Of the six-year-old cheeseburger. Dan, I'm going to ask you, because you've seen the photo. Dan, you know us. Yeah. Do you think we're going to think it looks great?

No. Okay. I'm so desperate to see this photo. If you want to see this photo, join our Facebook page. It will be up on the Facebook page. If you haven't joined the Facebook page, and by the way, I would say there's maybe one-fourth or one-fifth of our audience. 25% of our audience who listens to this show is on the Facebook page. We should be at 75% or 50% guys.

And if you go back about a week and a half, you can still wish Jan Plato a happy birthday. It was his birthday on Friday the 20th. Guys, I need to see this photo. I'm dying. Now look, I'm going to tell you before I turn it around. The bun does look in good shape. The fries do not. And the cheese on the cheeseburger. Okay. I'm dying. Now look, I'm going to tell you before I turn it around. The bun does look in good shape. The fries do not. And the cheese on the cheeseburger.

Okay, you ready? Yeah. There you go. Oh! Oh my God. It doesn't look as bad as you would imagine, but it doesn't look like those fries were bought this morning. It looks...

Based on what he said, this person's a liar. Right. This looks like a kid's toy or a dog squeaky. It should look a lot worse for six years. Doesn't it look like a dog squeaky toy? Six years. Do you feel, though, like the fries do at least look like maybe they had seasoning? Yes.

I could see those. They don't look like McDonald's fries, but they do look like edible fries. Like curly fries. Or like the fries that have that red dusting on them. You mean Lowry Season's? Is that what they put on them? That's what we used to put on them when we worked at a snack bar at a pool in St. Louis. Really?

Yeah. Lowry Seasoned Salt. That's the secret. It's basically petrified itself. It looks very sellable, he said. I'm going to assume- To whom? To whom?

I'm going to assume that someone's going to re-home my cheeseburger. Re-home my cheeseburger are now three words we've put together on Dumb People. This man is so confident. Oh, very. I need to meet him. Right. Rehome my cheeseburger. Here's the sexual euphemism.

It is. Time to rehome the cheeseburger. He's got me. You had me at... You had me at rehome. You had me at rehome. All right. Dave Alexander

said he asked his daughter to buy the McDonald's meal on June 7th, 2012 as an experiment. Number one, I cannot believe this guy is a father. Number two, to make your daughter, I'm like imagining the daughter's like three. And he's like, take this money. There you go. Walk down.

Get in the truck. Drive the truck down. Just why it's only two miles down the road. Take the tractor. Drive it on down. Number three, I can't believe 2012 was six years ago. down just why it's only two miles down the road take the tractor drive it on down number three i can't believe 2012 was six years ago that is insane it's a different world very simpler time very different world uh he'd heard of fast food burgers lasting for years without rotting so he

created this experiment and wanted to find out if it was an urban legend. Next line in this article, it's not. Quote. Or is it? Or is it? That's pretty subjective. This is what Dave Alexander said. Quote, we live in the country, and we've never seen a fly land on it ever.

So now he's also saying that insects don't want anything to do with McDonald's food. Yeah, even insects. When insects don't want your food, it's bad. Right. He also, ready for this is the other part of this experiment, Dave Alexander also has a five-year homemade burger and fries that he placed next to the McDonald's meal for comparison. What does he call his shelf?

He's an amateur scientist. That's what's sad is this is a scientist of our time. This is it. This is the best of what we have. He's our Doc Brown. He's what's sad is like, this is a scientist of our time. This is it. Yep. This is the best of what we have. He's our Doc Brown. He's our Louis Pasteur. That one, he said, the homemade burger and fries, has not fared so well. Do you guys want to look at a six-year-old homemade burger and fries?

Yes. This one won't make me throw up, I'm certain. This one is going to Louis Pasteur. Ready? This will also be on the Facebook page. Check it out. Is there a fly on it? It just looks really dusty.

Is there a fly on it? I don't think so. Let me see the fries. I see a fly on it? It just looks really dusty. Is there a fly on it? I don't think so. Let me see the fries. I see a fly. It's like moldy and dusty. But is he leaving it out? Yes, they're just sitting. He's just leaving it out,

just sitting out. Open air. Not covered. Nope. Nothing. It's open air McDonald's, open air homemade food. Where?

It's probably like right next to his bed. In the farm in Ontario. It's probably right next to it, like above his nightstand. It does look like it's on a bed, like a comforter, doesn't it? I mean, the same words to describe this burger and fries is the words you could describe Ann Coulter's vagina.

Nobody's touched it in six years. Nobody's touched it for years. Moldy, dusty, cold. Allegedly. Nobody wants to eat there. The cheese on the homemade one, especially the french fries, the potatoes, just look like little bits of charcoal now, Dave Alexander said. Asked if he'll miss the fast food relic once he sells it, he said, quote, I've been looking at it for six years, so now that it's moving, yeah, it's a thing.

But I'm sure we'll move on. It's a thing. It's a thing for him that he's letting go of it. I'm sure we'll move on sounds like the words of someone who's trying to convince himself. He's not sure. No, you're not sure that you're going to move on. However, now Alexander and his wife are downsizing.

No way that he's married! This is a wife who can't stand up to him. This poor woman. She's a prisoner. Is someone please make sure she's not being held hostage to this guy's bad ideas he said that they are downsizing and did not want to tote around the age-defying food quote now we're downsizing and i thought i'm not taking this cheeseburger with me who said that the wife

dave said dave dave i love that he made it his idea she was like from day one please take that off the shelf right like if that's sitting on a shelf, what is that? Honey, it's been up there for three days. Three hours. Please take it down. It's gross now. This is science, babe. Wait, what?

You knew when you married me. What hour or what day did she give up asking him to take it down? Ooh, that's a good question. You're saying, the same question is, what day did she give up hope? to take it down? Ooh, that's a good question. The same question is, what day did she give up hope on this life? What day did she just be like, I'm not going to get what I want in this life? When did she, like,

Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic realize, I can't fight anymore. I'm just going to drift away. You know what I hope? I hope there are peas in a pod. He just wanted to do the burger and she was like, get the fries too. Let's see what happens. She's the mastermind. She's pulling those strings.

He has to give her his reports. She's the faster mind. Okay, Alexander, this is where it starts to get fun. It starts. Alexander listed the items on eBay. The fries and the burger. Are you an eBay shopper, by the way? I have dabbled.

I'm an Etsy shopper. I have an Etsy, but I'll eBay? I have dabbled. I'm an Etsy shopper. I have an Etsy, but I'll eBay. You dabbled in a little eBay. Okay. You guys? A little bit. I lost an auction last week.

Did you? I've done it like once or twice for like a couple of albums I've gone for that I've wanted, but I'm not a big eBay shopper. So listen on eBay. He listed it on eBay, the McDonald's burgers and fries.

In what section? Collectibles? Fucking crazy people? Collectibles. Oh, collectibles. Oh, of course. what section? Fucking crazy people. Collectibles. Oh, collectibles. Oh, of course. He listed it for $29. Canadian? No, it says US. Saying he wanted to be able to cover

shipping if someone across the world decided to bid on it. This guy has big, big ideas. There's an Nigerian prince. I love how generous he is. He wants everyone to have access to this. Now, I think he put this up on a Monday or Tuesday. As of 2 p.m. Friday,

the bidding on eBay for the McDonald's Burgers and Fries had reached how much money? Oh! Let you guys guess. Good one. You are a guest. You can go first, Tig, or third. We can go Ben. Ben Schwartz, he wants to be the first spot. But he didn't get them all right. Good one. You are a guest. You can go first, Tig, or third. We can go Ben.

Ben Schwartz, he wants to be the first spot. But he didn't get them all right. He didn't get them all right. So you can go first, Tig, or third. Third. Okay, Jason or Randy?

How much had the... We start at $29.99. As of Friday at 2 p.m., how high was this burger and fries? So now we're trying to make... They can't go under? Can they bid under what he's offered? You?

What do you mean? No, no. It stays at $29 or it goes up. Oh, yeah, yeah're trying to make under, can they bid under what he's offered? You? What do you mean? No, no, it stays at 29 or it goes up. Oh, yeah, yeah, it goes, yeah,

you can't lower this opening guy. I mean, if it's below it, they'll say no bids. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or it's like 29

or best offer, that's a different thing. Then they can go under. Then you can go lower. Yeah, he started at 29, he wanted to see how high it would go.

So this is now us commenting on the eBay community. Yes. Okay, this is not really even about this idiot. This dumb farmer. Okay.

All right, I'm going to say $40. $40. An $11 increase. I'm going next. Randy. Okay, I think it's up to $60. $60 from Randy Sklar. I think it is stayed at $29.

I just have to put faith. None. You're saying no bits? No bits. Okay. As of Friday at 229. I'm just going to... I just have to put faith... None. You're saying no bids? No bids. Okay. As of Friday at 2 p.m., townies, wherever you are... Shout at your earbuds.

Get your answers in right now. How much do you think the bids had gotten up to on Friday at 2 p.m. for a McDonald's burger or a cheeseburger and fries? Here's what we love about this, that somewhere all across the country

when people are listening to this, someone's at work and they're just going to shout out, $58! $62! They're just shouting. The bidding had reached $150.

What is wrong with this world? Why? $150. That's who we need to be interviewing. Who is placing this bid? Thank you. $150. Who's crazier?

No, what you're doing is encouraging this dummy to make another experiment. It gets weirder. Also, he received many questions about its edibility. You can't eat it, dummies. Dummies. You cannot. Dave said, and I have questions that people are asking if it's edible. I would highly recommend not.

This looks perfectly edible, but it's been sitting in the dust for six years. So don't. Don't eat this thing! Exclamation point. Alexander planned to end the auction next Thursday. He's like, I almost regret trying to sell this thing. Giving eager buyers ample time to bid, but now they will never get the chance. As eBay pulled the auction for violating the food policy, which states any food sold must have, quote,

clearly marked expiration or used by date. Alexander said he was stunned. Of which Esther's Elvis banana is way past. But it definitely has an expiration date on it. I wonder because I've seen those get bought and sold on eBay, and I'm wondering if they just didn't get flagged. If this was a high-profile case. Yes, it did become one, I'm sure.

Quote, we're just stunned, Alexander told As It Happens, guest host Robin. I can't fathom what these people are thinking. A six-year-old cheeseburger? You've got to be kidding me! You're the one who put it on there, dummy. I know. I love how surprised you are. If you put it on eBay, you're

expecting, you didn't just put it on there for a joke. That takes time. It's hard. You expect someone to bid on it. But eBay pulled it because they said you can't eat it. I think his outrage is that... Dave Alexander is like, who would have eaten it anyway? Yeah.

All right, well. That's story number two. $150. And this dummy's been encouraged by the world. The world reinforced his dumbness by saying, go try something else. I know, he's gonna. eBay just peed on the fire. Took it out his dumbness by saying, go try something else. I know, he's going to. eBay just peed on the fire. Took it out.

All right, there you go. Segment two done. Can you give us a little taste of story three, Dan? What are we looking for? We have some crazy shenanigans that can only take place in summer. Okay. Summer! Got a little glimpse of summer breath.

It's not summer, it's dumber. We'll be back with Esther Bavinsky right after this on Dumb People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to Dumb People Town. Want to mention something really huge. A huge development for DPT. We've alluded to it. We've hinted at it. We've said it was coming for a while. It's finally here. We are rolling out

next week, this week, I think it'll start. Probably by the end of this week it'll be all set up and go. There'll be a video to explain everything. It's a Patreon system for you guys. It's called Drip. Drip is similar to Patreon. It's backed by Kickstarter. So it's obviously a great company that so many millions of people have already trusted with all their information.

It's just similar to Patreon, but it's called Drip. It's great. It's super simple, very streamlined, and it's allowing us to do something really, really fun. Okay, so for the people who just enjoy the show the way that it is, you will always get this show the exact same way. Nothing will change. Nothing will change. But for people who listen to this show and they're diet fans, you want a little bit more.

A little more involvement. We are offering things at different levels, different involvement. To be a part of this community. You can get merch. You can see us live for free. You can hang with us at live shows for free. Literally, we have everything from ad-free shows to you being a part of the show. That's the whole

Spans the Gamut. And with each level of commitment, we are doing something very special. Break a little peace. We are going to save some money

and start a Jan Flato fund, one of our most beloved guys, and try to right the wrong that happened in his life as a community. So he lost $50,000 and we as a community are going to give him back that $50,000.

So we need your help. It takes a town. It takes a town. It takes a townie. If we can do this, we can do anything. I honestly believe we will all feel good. And we will have a live show we will invite Jan Flato out to, and we will present him with a giant novelty check, which actually works.

And then he will be given back the money that was taken from him, and we as a community will have righted that wrong. And then after we reach that point, which I believe we can reach in a year, or some year, maybe sooner if more people get involved, we will then donate the extra money to charities that make the world smarter. Teach for America, Venture America, all these great, great, that make the world smarter, and you guys can be a part of it and that's what we do this is our way

to get active we have the best community of fans ever and we've realized that when we go out and do our show live we talk to you guys and everyone

who we talk to is like please we want more we want more that's what inspired us to do this we're so excited to get you guys involved so there will be a video

explaining everything and what the levels are and all that stuff we'll post it on our Facebook page and it should be up and rolling hopefully by the

end of this week and you guys can get started right away. Let's jump into the last story with Esther that we have here. I'm so excited. Sent in by Josh Mouat. I always say it wrong. I'm sorry, brother. J-M-O-U-A-T. And I feel like he's even tweeted at me saying, here's how to say it, bud.

I don't remember. I'm sorry, man. All right. I got sent this so many times. I'm sure. Lamar Township, Clinton County, which is Pennsylvania, I believe. Suspected bath salts, green lasers, and fireflies. That's our summer.

State police, they're all part of a story that put two people in jail. Bath salts, green lasers, fireflies. I thought it would put two people in love. Why not? Just like a story of love. Bath salts, lasers. Troopers say Jesse Shields and Catherine McCloskey. I thought Jesse Shields was the girl.

Nope. Shields and McCloskey, though, does sound like another, like, Rizzoli and Isles. Like, it's the next. Not as good, obviously. Like Shields and Yarnell, which was the sort of, like... Dancing robot. Robot dancing thing.

Like, it's the new version of Shields and... Shields and McCloskey. I would watch that show on USA. Shields and McCloskey could be... It's a cop show about one cop's dirty,

the other cop's clean. There are two cops trying to figure out what burn notice was about. Wasn't that an SNL sketch? Yeah, what is Burn Notice? They're all the Burn Notice. They take all the Burn Notice cases that they couldn't solve.

Right. They were high on suspected bath salts during a bizarre chain of events. That's how you know you're in WLT. When we get those four words together, bizarre chain of events. Early Saturday morning. And since we're in WLT, we imagine this probably started Friday night. And it's going into Saturday. That's right.

How many of your stories are bath salt related? It's kind of taking a downturn in terms of bath salts being really cool. Also, we tend to not do like super violent. He bit his son's face off. I would still do it if he bit their nose off. According to investigators, the pair from Clinton County had a, quote, bad trip and thought that fireflies were green lasers coming from aliens who were after them. Now, in all fairness, I have thought that myself and I wasn't on that.

Get out of here. Go, kids. Where are they coming from? Pew, pew. They're not. Let's just start with they're not green. Yeah, they're yellow. Right.

I know. You're already off on your color start with they're not green. Yeah, they're yellow. Right. I know. You're already off on your color palette. You're the best cop. You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, I hear you. First off, can we get our colors correct? I'm not hearing the rest of anything about this trip until we agree on firefly color. We can't pull a conviction if we're not right on our facts.

You're like a cop who cares so much about accuracy in your report. Oh, yeah. Yes. Let's see. Where was I? Okay, yes. right on our facts you're like a cop who cares so much about accuracy in your report yeah yes um let's see where was uh okay yes they said that green lasers are from from aliens who were after them which was kind of narcissistic sure state police say shields fired his revolver in the air to scare away the lasers then ran to a nearby home on Long Run Road, which... Took a short run to get there. There you go.

That's right. In Lamar Township, where he asked the homeowner to call the cops because something was chasing them. Yeah, that's always... If I'm the homeowner, I'm like, next door, go to the next door. We're not home.

We're not here right now. I hear you. We're not here, though. We're not here. Okay, thank you. I'll call them for you, though. Go head on back, and we'll see if they make it. While the person was on the phone with 911, Shields allegedly

broke a window before he left the home, then went to the next door neighbor's house, and broke another window there. So now he's got it in his head. These windows. Window breaking is somehow gonna stop the aliens? The aliens break all these windows. I don't know. No more wire hangers. State police say the owner of that home was able to get the gun? The aliens. Why break all these windows? I don't know. No more wire hangers. State police say

the owner of that home was able to get the gun from Shields. That guy scares me too. Why would I even try? Why would you even try? You're at home, Esther, and someone breaks

your window with a gun. Is your first thought, I need to take this gun from him? Let me see if I can wrestle this gun from him because he seems like he wouldn't accidentally have it go off on me.

No. Maybe if you came at him in a weird way like a parent you're like put that gun down. He'd be like wait what?

What did I say about guns? Put it down. Do you want these aliens to stop? Put the gun down. I wonder if you could if he's just so high you could be like hey can I see that gun real quick?

Yeah yeah yeah for sure you promise to help me? Like yeah totally. Yeah but that'd come out from such a That's a great I like the can I see your gun?

Like you're not even thinking about it. Like cool gun can I see? Hey you want to help me? Like, yeah, totally. Yeah, but that'd come at it from such a... That's a great... Can I see your gun? Like, you're not even thinking about it. Like, cool gun. Can I see? Hey, you want to play catch with your gun? Or like, you're kind of forgetting it. You're like, hey, did I get to hold your gun yet? Because I feel like... We talked about that, right?

Right. You said you were going to let me hold it. You should be a cop, Esther. Your reports are on fucking point. By the way... You know how to negotiate. By the way, no one would suspect, like she would be such a good cop.

The best guy. You walk in there like, hey man. What up, bro? Hey, what was I thinking? I'm sorry. What was I thinking?

Hey, you know what? Can I just take a look at that gun for a second? You've been misdirected so far. It's so misdirected. Yes. Do you like Elvis and the foods he likes? Okay, while the person was on the phone, he broke the window, then went and broke another window.

Then the owner of that home was able to get the gun away from Shields, who asked if he could take a shower to get the, quote, goo off his body because it was burning his skin. Well, that's fair. Let me ask you guys a question. You kind of brought this up, Esther. Is anybody ever having a great bath salts trip? No. Have you ever heard of somebody being...

You know how they say hair transplants? You only know the bad ones? Because the good ones you don't even know exist. Because you don't know they're there. Has anybody ever been like, best night of my life? I fell in love. I met my best friend. I read a book.

I cured cancer. Bath salts is the wrong name for what it salts. I fell in love. I met my best friend. I read a book. I cured cancer. Bath salts is the wrong name for what it is. I know. I have bath salts at home. So do we. That's not what they're doing? Yeah, I don't think so, right? They're to make your bath actually more pleasant.

Yeah, but isn't that what they're doing? That's what they're doing. No way. Yes. No, I think that's what they're snorting. That is what they're doing. Really? Is it like Epsom salt?

Is that really? Yeah. That's crazy. No, that is what they're doing really is it like Epsom salt is that really yeah that's crazy no that is crazy I mean I have the worst drug imaginable in my bathroom yes you do

well because people do crazy stuff on huffing things that are in all of our houses I think they're just that's how the Huffington Post was started really

yeah they've really come a long way like a novelty drug using blog very suspect beginnings and now look at that wow

that's a beautiful story. It is. So then he's like, all right, here's the gun. I'll trade you the gun for a shower, which I would have traded. Gun for a shower. Because I'm calling cops. So you have to take your time in there. Lock the door.

Put a chair underneath it. We're also probably going to need to burn the bathtub. Although, yeah, it's like a lot of expensive cleaning. Isn't it also weird that we're not hearing anything about McCluskey? Yeah. McCluskey is gone. Gone. She's fighting these aliens?

Yeah. They don't even say. Or do you think she's just quietly standing behind him the whole time being like, I'm good, I'm good. He's out there, I'm fine.

She's like the girl in the Hunger Games who's hid in the bush through for 10 years. I mean, can you imagine? You sign on for this cop show. Explain it, Jay. It's not Epsom salts.

Thank you. It's designer drugs that look exactly like it. Okay, so here's what I'm saying. For everybody who's been laughing at us for two minutes, I'm sorry. I don't know about hardcore drugs. We're dummies. We're not druggies.

I'm glad to be dumb about hardcore drugs that only seem to fuck people up. Okay, so it looks like bath salts, but can we stop calling it bath salts? Yeah. You called it like diloxapan. It's just not fair to those of us who enjoy bath salts. Thank you. Right. So you're a druggie?

What if there was some horrible drug they started calling buffet dinner? I wouldn't trust anything anymore. They had a buffet dinner and they did that? Grooming juice. Or Trader Joe's chocolate-covered peanut butter-filled pretzels. Oh, now you're in trouble. Those are a drug. Those are really a drug.

Those are a drug. Shields and McCloskey are both facing a slew of charges, including burglary. I have no clue who they robbed. Well, they broke in. It's B&E. Burglary is when you break a window maybe into the house. That's destruction of property. Criminal trespass, public intoxication, and disorderly conduct.

They were both unable to post bail believe it or not. Oh, really? And taken to the Clinton County Prison. I'm going to ask you guys right now. How old? How old is Jesse Shields? Shields.

This is the guy who broke the windows and stuff. I'll go first. Okay. What do you think? Okay. This happened where? What city? In Pennsylvania, I believe.

Yes. Maybe they're on a rump spring. Saturday. Early Saturday. They don't really say, but I guess that could mean 2 a.m. what city in like pennsylvania i believe yes maybe they're on a rump Saturday early Saturday so that they don't really say but i guess that could mean 2 a.m i'm saying you know it's a boring age i'm saying 24 you don't hear about that age too often but i feel it today got it 24 jason around 20 20 from these guys are like 18 18 18 this is just stupidity on like another level. Well, I can tell you that Catherine McCoskey is 22.

Okay. And I can tell you that Jesse Shields, get your answers in now, townies. Shout it at your earbuds. The man who broke windows, gave up his gun, ran from aliens, and had goo all over him trying to take a shower is, we're going to get out of here on this, 30 years old. Whoa. That's a dummy. So what'd you say?

I said 20. I said 18. You're right. 24. There you go. Way to go. Brings it home. Nice.

That's the show, you guys. Definitely check out the Drip campaign. And we'll, again, post that on the Facebook page for all of you who are on the Facebook page. There's a lot of stuff that you guys are going to be excited about. And jump in. By the way, the first several members will be founding members. Within the first month.

If you join the drip and sign up for it within the first month. You get a special designation as a founding member of the Dumping the Town trip. We're really excited about it. I'm really excited to bring it to you and then right this wrong in this universe. And then check out your show on Freeform alone together. Or on Hulu. Or on Hulu. Check it out on either.

All episodes. Yes. All episodes. And then this podcast that you have. Glowing Up. If you're into makeup, beauty, healthy, kind of glowy stuff. We have a lot of women who listen to the show and some men who listen to the show who are into all that stuff.

So check it out. Glowing Up right here on Starburns. Check it out. And oh shit, we got to get back to work. Oh. It's a good show.