Dumb People Town - Felipe Esparza - Solar Eclipse Of The Gnards

Episode Date: November 19, 2024

Comedian Felipe Esparza (What's Up Fool podcast and tour) stops by as Daniel describes a Sydney homeowner's ingenious solution to people peeing in his yard, Jason explains how a man stole the tow truck that was towing his truck and smashed everything in its path, and Randy warns against watching solar eclipse coverage on Mexican TV, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsor: Chewy! Chewy is helping take the stress out of the holidays. Take advantage of amazing holiday savings and shop for personal favorites at Chewy.com/dpt.   

Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware they lack in grace And sometimes shoes, the life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail in Florida, there's half price bail I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast, Dan, with co-host Armand Dan. Members, don't be a jerk. We spread the music, there's the funny bits. We are gonna take you down.

Stick around, make a sound, under down is Dumb People Town. All right, Townies. The most wonderful time of the year. So Hickory Duke is just about here. It is more than likely sort of a stressful. It's kind of stressful. Yeah, I mean your to-do list is about a million miles long and that's for work things, work parties,

friends things, family things, family parties. All of it. And somehow your pet needs always seem to be a do it tomorrow thing because there's only so many hours in the day. That's why I think everyone should be doing it all the way we do it the way Randy does it. On Chewy. On Chewy. Chewy is helping take the stress out of the holidays, take advantage of amazing holiday savings and shop our personal favorites, my personal favorites at chewy.com slash dpt. That's

chewy.com slash dpt. One more time. Chewy.com slash DPT. Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population, you. Population, Esparza. Felipe Esparza, I'm so happy you're on the show, dude. Thanks for being here. Thanks for having me, man.

What's up, man? What is up, dude? You're like one of my favorite comics, dude. I just, all of ours. Okay, so here's the deal. When comics get a bit that sticks with you that you repeat to other people or share, like when I, you know how much it takes for us

to share another comics bit with friends of ours as if it like. We just don't do that stuff. Typically. I sent the R2-D2. Oh, it's the best. Chewy R2-D2, R2-D2. Oh, it's the best. Chewy R2-D2 bit, the Star Wars bit. I've sent it to so many people.

I'm like, this is just perfection. It's you, it's you making an observation that's never been made before. It's brilliant, it taps into this larger thing that everybody loves. Like, is that for you, is that like a bit that people just love more than anything? Yes, and it's an add-on to someone else's joke.

Yeah, I love it! No shit, here, lift that mic up to you. It's an add-on to, when I mentioned a comedian, I don't wanna say his name, but he had a HBO special where he said that, he goes, when they put Mexicans in space movies, he goes, they still have to be a mechanic, and a Chewbacca mechanic.

Yeah, that's right. So that's why he's Mexican. That was the observation. Yeah, so then I said, no man, Chewbacca's too tall. It's a... Ha ha ha ha! But Mexicans, it's R2-D2. His name's not Spanish,

it's like a short version of Arturito. Yeah. So good. And he even speaks like my dad. Ffffwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwfwf I'm like, I just love this guy so much and we've hung out and so it's great to have you on the show. Here's the deal. The world's getting dumber and the only way we can fight back is through comedy. So our friends and our fans send us these great news stories and we're just going to

go through them and just riff with you and then we'll tell people how they can follow you, see you live, and all that great stuff. Dan's got the first story, so start us up. Everybody got their steering wheel? Yes, we're ready. Take it wherever you wanna go, because this one comes from Matthew Friedman, at Not Your Average.

Matt. Thanks, buddy. Thanks for sending this in. Sydney homeowner's ingenious solution to stop people from peeing in his driveway. So this is Sydney, Australia. Yeah. Homeowner, so many people are peeing in his driveway. So this is a Sydney, Australia, homeowner, so many people are peeing in his driveway. What's that say about your house that everyone goes in your driveway to pee?

You're closest to the bar? Gotta be. Gotta be. You're a toilet. Your house is a toilet. You have too much curb appeal. Yeah. Right?

Oh, that looks nice back there. He was lived by a stadium. Yes! Oh, that's the word. Because this is comedian that used to live next to Wrigley Field. Yeah, I did too. And then everybody would pass by and pee on his face.

On his face. All the time. Or fight or throw up. All the time. Yeah. If you're by a bar. Or park in front of your house, too. Yeah, park in front of your house.

He's what he said about people in Chicago. Daniel said that, is in Chicago they save parking spaces? Yeah, park in front of your house. He's what he said about people in Chicago. Daniel said that is in Chicago they saves parking spaces. Yeah. Dibs. Dibs. They'll put like they'll put a couch in a parking space. Dining chairs, whatever, like in the winter to save spots to save a spot. You're going to be dining. It was weird man. Like like, you know, I'm a Dodger fan, but that justger Stadium, I know everybody rules for the team. But when I was at Wrigley Field the first time, I was in a section where you can curse. But I guess because we're losing,

and then the people started chanting to the people in right field, let right field suck. Right field sucks, right field sucks. Yeah, we go back and forth. They're yelling at each other, they're like, you guys are on the same team. Right field sucks. Here's a solution for that guy, man.

I was invited to a party many years ago from somebody from the comedy story who was at the party talk at three o'clock in the morning. So we all went, and in the morning, we all woke up with donkey ears like Pinocchio. Everybody was partying dude and this guy, he had those bathroom urinals for men connected to the start of his wall.

Oh my god. Oh I have a Bunny who did that in his basement. No way. In his basement bathroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got like urinals. Urinals, yeah like Dodger Stadium, a long one. Like a trough. Like a trough. That's a ring. He had a trough, yeah. He's got like urinals. Yeah, yeah, they thought you stayed on my long one Everybody's wrong like a trough. That's a little trough. Yeah trough the trial and that's old Wrigley Field. That is

Comiskey, yeah. All right, so he's so for years guys trying to stop people from peeing on his drive Yeah, all right. So this guy's last name is Steven for years Stevens driveway has been the chosen location for many late-night drinkers in need of a quick toilet stop, but not anymore. A Sydney homeowner who has become fed up with late night drinkers using his property as a makeshift toilet has taken matters into his own hands setting up an ingenious and so far very attractive, effective, wee trap. For far too long, Stephen Bodnar from Waverly in Sydney has had to deal with inebriated individuals using his driveway as a place to relieve themselves. I feel

like this article said the same thing. Yes, you already said it. We get it. Men and women alike have stumbled from nearby pubs, women, the Charing Cross Hotel, and the Robin Hood Hotel and onto his property for years leaving an unpleasant reminder of their visit. The Robin Hood Hotel, they steal from the rich and pee on the poor. So this is his driveway, and these are people just pissing in his driveway all hours of the night. The worst is when I go away out to dinner or something

and then I drive into my driveway and they would be peeing right there where my door opens. Oh, what? If you wanna pee on somebody's property. Do it on the grass. Yeah, the bush. Do it in the bush. Side of the house.

Behind a tree. I'd rather someone peed in the middle of my driveway than on the door. Or on the tire of a car. Yeah, that's a good middle. Drive off, you drive it off. Let's drive it off. That'll drive off.

That'll drive off. You're fine. It was an unpleasant feeling. Also, can you imagine if you had people in from out of town, you come back, they're staying with you, you come back for dinner, there's people, there's a line of people pissing in here. And by the way, if one drunk person sees one person do it,

then now you have a line. Now you got a line of people. It's like when one person recognizes you out in the world, then all of a sudden, like 80 people start coming. It's like when you're in a golden shower, man, you let one guy do that, and everybody's gotta do it. It's like a waterfall, a golden waterfall shower, man. You let one guy do the other. That's it, and then everybody's gotta do it. It's like a waterfall, a golden waterfall.

Golden waterfall. Turn off the spigot. I can't believe someone would leave a pub with a bladder full of urine and not realize that they just walked past the toilet to get here. Has he never been in a bar? Yeah, dude. These people are probably leaving the bar

because the line in the bar is too long. Or the bar closed. The door guy's like, go around the corner of this house. He just gets pissed right there. That's the car. Yeah, he can be on the street. Finally, fed up, the electrician decided to install a sprinkler and CCTV system I love the penitentiary away fight back. How much do you think he spent on?

getting cameras and a sprinkler system set up to Automatically, whatever it is. He doesn't care should load mean, I'm just talking like, $10,000. When you say $8,000? $9,000. $9,000, I'm gonna say $5,000. $3,000. Still a lot, still a lot. That's a big investment.

Yeah, dude. But you're like, I'll do anything at this point. I had no other option than to take matters into my own hands, he said. The deterrent includes a motion detector, which triggers a light and then a three-minute downpour three minutes of water. Yes from the hours of and your hand you're sitting if you're a woman your pants are down and you're squatting if you're a guy you're Sitting there with your job in your hand up. You're just gonna get drenched on I love this from the hours of 6 p.m. To 6 a.m. I love this now

That's too early for me because what if he comes home? You're just gonna get drenched. So you're done? I love this. From the hours of 6pm to 6am. I love this. Now that's too early for me because what if he comes home to his own driveway. So we can watch. We have a TikTok. Anybody go to the YouTube, you can watch this as well. So this is people coming into his driveway and deciding that they're gonna piss. Instantly. It hits them.

Oh yeah. It's so good. He's drunk. He has chains set up. That doesn't stop people. I pictured that his driveway would be super easy People are doing a limbo to get in there. This is so good. It's working. It's working wet solid. That's in Australia, right? Yes, Australia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. We'll kill you water goes the opposite direction

But don't you think he's also eventually gonna have somebody who's so drunk. They're unfaithful. Oh my god. It's raining Yeah, exactly, and they just don't care just keep pissing dude where I got a full suit and he's paying who thinks that's okay That's a no. No, that's a brilliant idea It will go off it will go straight off whether I'm here or on the other side of the world Stephen Bodnar says, okay All right, the Robin Hood hotel owner Daniel Witten Said he had previously offered a solution to the problem but he was turned down. We offered to pay for a gate so that people actually couldn't go onto his property. That's pretty nice to the hotel. Dude, if the hotel is like, we'll pay for a gate.

Because all he had right there was like two chain links. You take the gate. If the hotel says to you, this is not even our problem. You take the gate, man. But we're going to pay for your gate? I'm taking that. What do you take for that? Would you take a gate? For what we're gonna pay for your gate. I'm taking that. I'm take a take for that What would you take a gate for what for that from the hotel if the hotel?

Hey for a gate for your driveway you say an electrical gate electrical gate We offered to pay for the gate, but it was turned But we offered to pay for the gate so that people actually couldn't go on to his property But that was declined at the time. What if you put in a pool of sin? I would let homeless people sleep there and then let people, tell people you're gonna pee, but you're gonna be peeing on homeless people.

That's right, so if you wanna do that, you gotta deal with that. You can sleep here, people are gonna pee on you. They're not gonna do that. Or I would put, you know that thing, I don't know if it's an urban ledger or not, if you pee into the Amazon River, there's like a thing that'll fly.

Swim up your pee stream. I thought that on. I thought the waste would die. Right. Yeah, into your urethra. Swim up your pee stream into your urethra. Your sound hole. So you put a bunch of parasites.

Baby salmon. Baby salmon upstream. Upstream into your penis. Baby salmon up into you. Bodnar's solution seems to be working just fine, as we saw with CCTV capturing the shocked experiences by multiple late night drinkers. We saw it.

That have had to receive a surprise drenching. I'm really happy with the outcome he sees. Yeah, of course he is. I know. Fighting back, it feels good, doesn't it? But how long is it going on before you say, I'm gonna spend $3,000? I mean, it's all the time.

Years, right? All the time. Years, right? All the time. Because there's amount of time you get mad, then there's amount of time you think about it. Then you're like, what can I do about it? Then you figure out what to do, and then you're like, do I really wanna spend all this money? Then you have one friend who's a conspiracy theorist

who owns a security company, it's like, I got you, bro. Yeah. He's a homeowner? He's a homeowner. I used to live in front of an apartment on the first floor next to a bus stop and that was I remember now That was a problem. Yeah, everybody was waiting for the bus to appear on the wall And I was just look out my window and then see a guy pee. I remember I said that I was in a bus

Driver came to my house. I can't take a shit. Oh into your house I just said we can't take a shit man a shit man. And he had to say it like that. Did you let him? Yeah. That's so nice. He lived in the bus all the time for free. If you let him go to the bathroom once in your house, you have free bus ride forever. I let him man, he was cool. Well, cause if you get to the point where you're asking a stranger if you can come into their house, you've swallowed your pride. I'm saying you are in an emergency situation. And you'll do anything that that person has.

Because the guy drives a bus, he knows how far he could get to get to the next McDonald's or anything. He needs you. He needs you. Yeah. It's good to have that. It's good to have that over somebody. You shouldn't have left, you know what I mean?

You shouldn't have left a bus full of people in front of your house. That's a bad thing to do. We actually have six more on the bus that need to use it, too. Is that what you're saying? It's like, hey, man, you got any reading material in there? Yeah, I do. Hey, have six more on the bus that need to use it too. Is that what you're... He's like, hey man, you got any reading material in there? Yeah, I do.

Hey, can I microwave my burrito in your house? No! You can't do that. That's the problem. You're eating microwave burritos. All right, that's story number one. All right, let's take a break. We come back.

We'll find out how you can follow Felipe, and Daniel will find out about all your stuff as well. It's not people town with Felipe as far as you can be right now. No. Stick around, make a sound. there's more Dumb People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Welcome. Before we tell you where you can see Felipe live,

check all of his stuff out. Daniel, let them know what's going on with you and how they can catch you. If you haven't already, check out my podcast, my other podcast right here on All Things Comedy, the Midnight Air. It drops on Monday nights. It's an overnight radio style podcast.

I'm just talking about whatever's going on. Top 10 Halloween candies, my favorite Halloween movies. Try to keep it theme as to what's up. And then just a bunch of other listener emails and fun shit like that. It's the Midnight Air, Monday nights, just me, right here on All Things Comedy. And then go to danielvankirk.com.

I'm doing a headlining set at the Flyover Comedy Festival on Thursday, November 14th. And then I've got some other dates that I'm announcing a headlining set at the Flyover Comedy Festival on Thursday, November 14th. And then I've got some other dates that I'm announcing as well and you can listen or watch my special, Rose Gold. All good. Felipe, where can people find you, see your stuff that we love so much, specials and all that stuff? When is it there?

This layer, maybe in a couple weeks, right? Okay. Where are you in November? November 15th. There you go. I'm going to be in Pueblo Colorado nice November 16 I'm gonna be at the Paramount theater and Denver then great theater man I love it good for you and I'm gonna be in Amsterdam in

November and a blend Amazing. Wow. So have you been over there? Have you done shows over there yet? Just the Rotterdam. How was it? I did a television show there. Yeah, it was good. It's good.

And then I'm doing Westniac in Liberty Live. Great, awesome. And then the next thing I go, my tour is on sale right now at FelipeWorld.com at my leisure. I have a Spanish podcast. You do? Yeah, I got a role on Blue Beetle. Okay.

So I threw in one line in Spanish, Chespirito. And so somebody wrote a scripted podcast based on that character throughout. Amazing. Oh, that's fun. Is that improvised by you? No, it's too much to just say it.

That's amazing. So I just said it and then I did the voiceover in Spanish, scripted, I read it, and it's all in 100% Spanish. Nace una leyenda con Jesperito. Nice! Is it out now? It's out now on Spotify and everywhere. But it's all in Spanish.

I don't know. It's awesome to listen to. There were some times when I would, there were words I wouldn't know how to say them, and it would just change them to a word I knew how to say. To a word that you knew how to say. That's amazing. I love it. And I realized that now I know my people say,

oh, you're Mexican, you don't speak good Spanish. But then when I was reading this podcast, I realized that, well, my dad graduated, didn't, he dropped out of school at sixth grade to work in the fields. Wow. So if whatever word he don't know in Spanish, I don't know either.

I don't know it either. That's the extent of me. His cutoff was my cutoff. Yeah, I was taught by an idiot, eh? Yeah. Come on. So I have the What's a Fool podcast and I have another podcast called History for Fools.

I love it. Oh, and a movie with Paul Rodriguez that came out October 11 with Aeris Pierce called Holy Cash. Nice. Holy Cash. Nice. Holy Cash. I love it man, you're working. Lot of cool stuff happening.

FreePayWorld.com you said? FreePayWorld.com. And check him when he's doing Stand Up Near You. If you're in there. I'm doing, I think the Comedy Store was you, I don't know, somebody November 10, November 11 I think. I don't know. Okay, dude, you're gonna do,

we'll have you come and do our show. I love you man. That would be so fun. Phenomenal. All, dude, we're gonna do, and we'll have you come and do our show. I love you, man. It's so fun, I love you. Phenomenal. All right, here we go. Yes. This was sent in by Nick Deppie. Deppie.

Deppie. Driver steals truck attempting to tow his pickup and smashes everything in his path. Wow. Wait, say it again. Driver steals truck attempting to tow his pickup. So his pickup is like parked in a wrong spot, tow truck comes, steals the tow truck,

and this starts, because he doesn't know how a tow truck. Is he also dragging his car on the road? Yes! Probably. What an idiot. Dude. Them Dukes. Just right?

Them Duke boys. Them Duke boys are in some trouble. All right, a lot. That does feel like a Duke boy thing to do. It does. A lot. Hold on, that scene, I thing to do. It does. A lot. Or that scene, I was watching, I was passing by some bar somewhere

and they were watching everywhere but loose. Yes, yes. I remember they dragged the truck just like that. Yes, this, this is it. A lot of drivers on America's roads are pretty angry. According to who? Yeah. But perhaps nobody is quite as angry as this pickup owner

who had his truck towed in New York this weekend. It's like a New York guy. Hey, you've all, a New York guy with his pickup truck. Instead of letting the tow truck driver drive off with their Chevrolet, the owner instead fought off the tow truck driver. Oh my God. Stole their vehicle and drove off in a rage,

and then the article says, as you did. Let me ask you this. Do you think tow truck drivers have to deal with this a lot? Right, you know what I'm saying? Like they have to deal with this a lot because no one's happy when their stuff's getting towed. Well yeah, because even if they're like broke down,

they're in a, their car, like nobody's ever having a good day when you pull up. You ever gotten towed? Your car? Yeah. And did you know it was happening or you show back up at the place where your car was broken down? Yeah man, I had my car towed, but you know like so many thoughts go through your head,

like, it just feels like somebody walking away with your girlfriend, you know? That's right, it's like violating. You have like a five mile stare, man, when your car's gone. But especially if you have a shitty car, cause you know in deep down, cause everybody say they stole your car, you stole your car's gone. Especially if you have a shitty car, because you know in deep down, because everybody say they stole your car,

you stole your car. But deep down inside you say nah man. There's no way. That's tough. They stole that car, they want it back. That's right. That's right. To want that car.

Three payments behind. I'm basically stealing it right now. I haven't stolen this car in the last three months. Parking five miles away from my house. Yeah, stole my debt. I have my car relocated. You have your car report? No, relocated.

Oh, relocated. So in Chicago, they can relocate your car if they need the street, but it's not a tow zone. Shut up! So they will relocate your car up to two miles from wherever they've put it. And do they tell you? They will tell you once it eventually gets processed

and then they tell you what street and block it's on and then you have to go find your car. This is the worst scavenger hunt ever. Oh my God. So you'll think your car got stolen but they were like no, we had to do some utility work so we just moved all the cars on that block. Your car's in school.

Your car is somewhere within two miles. Wow. Good luck bro. At first I was like oh my car got stolen, Your car is somewhere within two miles. Wow. Good luck, bro. First I was like, oh, my car got stolen. No, maybe it got towed. Then I called and I'm like, hey, is my car been impounded? They're like, no.

Then I was like, then what the fuck happened? Maybe it did get stolen. They're like, well, it might have just been relocated. Relocated is like what they do to priests in the cabin. When priests touch a child, you relocate it. So we went to Mardi Gras when we were in college, drove down from St. Louis in our dad's Oldsmobile A98. Drive all, it's a crappy car, drive all the way down, park near Tulane, we think we're fine.

Go out into the French Quarter for the night. Just have a huge, I mean it's Mardi Gras. Party until five in the morning. Come back as the sun's coming up to where our car was. It's gone. We're like, that's stolen. Now we have no way to get out of the city. And we have no way to drive back home.

And we start freaking out. This is before cell phones. This is 1992. We start calling all the tow lots. And they're like, we don't have it, we don't have it. We have one more lot to call in the New Orleans area. We call five of them through the yellow pages. Look up in the phone book.

We call the one that's right by the Superdome, under the freeway, right by the Superdome. And we're like, hey man, do you have this? And he's like, nah, we don't have that. We're like, can you look again? Please check. You're our last hope. You gotta check.

He's like, no man, I said we don't have, oh, here it is. I think we got it. We're like, oh my God. You son of a bitch. Why would you do that to us? You killed us. So we take a cab over to this place and we have to scrounge all the money we had

between the four of us who were down there to spend 280 bucks or whatever. Whatever it was, it was more than we had. More than we had, we all scrounged up, we had no cash left, it was a nightmare. But it was like. But what happened was the sign that said don't park here was pulled out of the ground.

And they still gave us the ticket. They still gave us the ticket. I'm like, you gotta. Yeah, come on, man. Sign was pulled out, it's Mardi Gras weekend. All right, so the dramatic events unfolded in Sunsec Park in New York this weekend after a black Chevrolet pickup truck

was hitched onto a tow truck, ready to be removed, however the owner of the pickup was having none of it and fought back according to local news outlet News 12. News 12 always gives the right news. The person towing your car, unless they're a complete asshole, has no interest. Like they're not personally doing this, right? No, but they are doing it.

They're coming to the city to take your car away. But I feel bad, so I also feel bad, look, I feel bad for the person getting towed. It sucks. You don't want to get towed. But it's not this gentleman's fault. So that's why I always say when I'm like yelling, mad at somebody because someone screwed up on the phone, I'm like, I'm mad, I always say this out loud.

I'm mad but I'm not mad at you. Well look at this, look at this. Here we go. Fight, so here it is. So this guy, this guy found out this guy's towing his truck. Oh my god. Wait, which one's which do you think? I can't tell which guy. I think the guy on the left of the t-shirt's the tow truck driver. Yeah that's got. I feel like he's not. It is. No and he's getting into his tow truck. Can you? He's getting into his tow truck. That's a badass tow truck.

Can we be honest? That's a really cool. Wait so now. He's like. What are you doing man, and he's like you don't know how to drive I know how to drive this I didn't properly put your truck on oh god. He's gonna hit something He's gonna watch this oh my god smash oh Smash for oh my god. He He did every car down the street Every car down the street this guy's towing his car his truck and his truck is like Cock-eyed and his truck just fell off just fell off and rolled over and crashed look at that smash smash smash Yes, he hit every parked car. I rolled his own truck. So here's what I'm learning

I just love that you can drive a tow truck in shorts. You can show up to work in shorts. Tow truck driver works for infamous towing with a Z. And then he- He's also an Uber driver too when I tow truck. Delivers pizzas. Delivers pizzas, Uber driver. So then the end of the story is he ran into a city bus. Oh no. And then he had to get out on foot and start running. That's a lawsuit You know, it's thinking like halfway there before you that bus Fuck that ain't no stopping us now There has to be a moment of clarity while you're in that car, you know, cuz there's nobody rooting you on no Yes, your brother not there. Good. Hey, man

Cuz there's nobody rooting you on no your brother. Hey man Bro you and your thoughts I hope to the radio turned on when he sold it and it was just like Saturday Yeah, it was it wasn't even like Also he was driving a Chevy, but it was a Ford tow truck. I feel like there was some sort of aggression there. It was like, you can't mix the streams, you can't mix the brands. But the guy, you know, should have said, hey, your car's gonna get screwed up

because I haven't fully attached it. It rolled, what you didn't see in the video is that- You can't take it around the corner. If you don't know how to drive a tow truck, don't be driving a tow truck. And this guy's just smashing every car along the way. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Oh my God.

That tow truck driver too, man. You could tell that he was asleep and no one else took that car but him. Right, right. He went, all right, got this. I mean, I'll just go in my pajamas. I'll go in what I'm sleeping in. But this is kind of part of,

we're in this moment in history, I think, where you can't fire anybody because that guy's gonna show back up at work with a gun. You can't break up with anybody because he's gonna start stalking you and show up your house with a knife to your throat. You can't even tow somebody's truck. They're not towing your truck for fun.

Nobody is coming up to your truck and being like, hey, this would be cool if we just got rid of this guy's truck. No, you clearly parked wrong. Like when we found out we were illegally parked, even though the sign was down, we're like, all right, we broke the law. What are you gonna do?

We gotta go get our car back. But it's like, you can't, this guy is wrong. We were mad that it happened, but we weren't mad. Nobody can be wrong anymore. They're like, uh-uh, I'm not letting this happen, so I'm gonna fight this. and now he's in so much more trouble smashing cars. He is in deep, deep trouble.

Some of them are nice. I remember we were in a car and the cops took a car away and they're gonna tow it away, and the tow trucker said, I'll give you guys a ride. Right? But then the car would take the fuck out of the truck. Oh, sheesh. And then we had to walk.

John, no! So this guy, the tow trucker's like, I'll pick. Oh, dude. And then we had to walk. John, no! So this guy, the truck driver's like, I'll pick you up when he leaves, I'll pick you up. I'll catch you, I'll go around the block. And I'll grab you. 20 bucks each. The meter's running. He's like, more than a cab? You're like, wait, you're charging me?

You're trying to get me too? He's a side job. I love it. It's a side job, right? Okay, so the driver, he's not yet been identified by authorities, didn't get too far behind the wheel of the tow truck as he came to a sudden stop after Colliding with the you should know who the driver is based on the truck and the license plate the driver then fled the scene on foot Yep, leaving his trash pickup at and a scene of destruction far behind

So think about this guy this guy was like I'm trying to get my car back. I don't want to get to towed now He's totaled his car. He's made cots he's now hit so many other cars. So many other cars. City bus. And a city bus. That's gonna be a big lawsuit. Everybody on the bus could sue him. That's right. Police, they're gonna bust it, what?

It was a city bus. Oh, city bus, okay, that was a school bus. No, no, no, no. School bus, you're in deep trouble. No, no, no, you're in deep trouble. Especially man, people are going to work. I'm already late. I'm already late.

Now I'm gonna be in trouble. So now I'm gonna walk into my job and say, hey, you know what happened? This guy stole a tow truck and flipped his car and your boss is gonna be like, no way. Yes sir, they were filming a new movie about a bus. Speed two. Speed three?

Speed three. Stone cold Austin. Stone cold Steve Austin. Dude, that would be so good. All right, and that's it. And they still haven't identified the man. So police are now on the lookout for the guy. So the guy got away with it.

I can't believe that. I mean, they have his truck. There's no way he's gotten away. They have his truck. They're gonna find him. They have to know by now. They gotta know by now. But there you go.

That's the story. Story number three. Oh man. Give you a little taste of what we're gonna get on number three. This is, okay, this is clap. I'm so happy you're here. Mexican TV accidentally aired something

they shouldn't have aired. We're gonna get into it with Felipe Esparza. We'll tell you what we have going on. It's Dumb People Town will be right back. I thought she'd do it in Dumb People Town. Ha ha! Stick around, make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town.

All right, so I'll start it off. Do it. So it's the holiday season. So who could we do? Nope, and who can do? Who can do? Doc. No, so it is a crazy time as you're running around getting gifts for your family, your

friends. Yeah, it started just now. Who gets pushed down to the bottom of the list? My doggies. I love my doggies. The animals that love you the most, sure. Right, and so you're like, wait a minute, wait a minute, we gotta like take care of these, and so we say now, as you're about to enter into

this period of time, that's when you take care of your dogs and your cats and your pets and get ahead of the curve, take that thing off your plate. Cause you know what we're trying to do, and you know what Chewie's trying to do? Prevent you from doing that thing of you get home at 9.30 at night from thing after thing and thing after work and then

you go I forgot to get dog food and now you're in an old pair of slides and shorts you have worn since college in a grocery store because you love your animals so much that you are going to run to this store and then they're yelling we are closing soon and you're like do you have dog food? One flip-flop off. This is how you avoid that in your life. Yeah, yeah, just get Chewy and get the subscription, which I have, which is so good. Like there are moments when we go through it too fast and I'm like, oh God, I gotta re-up this.

So easy to get on there and re-up it quicker. So I'm gonna tell you about this. This time you're auto-ship on Chewy's thing. Yes, it's a feature. It's the real stress reducing hero. Randy set up recurring shipments. All the essentials you need just keep coming to your house. They do.

Right on time, like right as you're about to run out, boom. New order comes in. And if you gotta bump it up, you bump it up. It's so easy. They got great 24 hour customer service. You get advice, whatever you need 24 hours a day. We one time ordered the wrong bag, I called them up. They fixed it and handled it perfectly.

So here's the deal. Chewy is helping take the stress out of the holidays. Take advantage of it, all right? The amazing holiday savings and shop our personal favorites at chewy.com slash dbt. Dan, what is it? That's chewy.com slash dpcheat. Sorry, I can do this, right?

You got this. Chewy.com slash dpt. Stick around, make a sound, there's more to a town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Before we get into this third story, we should tell you what we have coming up in November. First week in November, we're at the Comedy Fort. If you've ever been there, that place is great in Fort Collins.

And then we're going to be at the Flyover Festival in St. Louis at the Sheldon Theater on November 16th. 15th, we're doing a Tag It, which is going to be really fun. We're going to have you come do a Tag It that we do at the store. We're probably working on a date for early. Possibly the 5th of December, which is gonna be really fun. We're gonna have you come do a tag that we do at the store. We're probably working on a date for possibly the fifth of December, which is a Thursday. Which would be great. And then we're doing our two man show

at the Lyric Hyperion, the Bourne Identity on December 9th, 12th, and 16th. And then we'll do it in San Francisco at SketchFest on February 1st. Oh, and then we're doing La Jolla Comedy Store. The first time we've done that, because normally we go down and do the American Comedy Company, which I really like. We've never're doing La Jolla Comedy Store, the first time we've done that, because normally we go down and do the American Comedy Company, which I really like,

but we've never done the La Jolla Comedy Store, we're doing that that weekend before, which is believed like January 24th, 25th, all of it at superschoolers.com, plus, all good stuff happening, we'll let you know kind of when movies coming out and all that good stuff. All right, you ready for this? Yes.

We're gonna get into this, sent in by Jason Bullitt, at IBJB, E-Y-E-B-E-E, J-A-Y-B-E-E, IBJB. All right, you ready for this? Here's the headline. Mexican TV outlet accidentally airs man's testicles during solar eclipse coverage. That's a whole different kind of a clip. That's right.

How did that happen? Yes, how did that happen? So here's the deal. Soccer game. Right, exactly. So, get those balls out of here. You guys remember the solar eclipse was a big deal? People traveled to different places to see it.

Right, it didn't go across Mexico, it went across Texas. It went all the way across and then kind of up through like Vermont and that area up there. All right, so well the story comes to the New York Post, so trigger warnings are necessary. This eclipse coverage was nuts. All right, here we go. Mexican news outlet is garnering ridicule online

because it accidentally aired a man's testicles when presenting viewer submitted footage of, that's the problem. Send us your best footage. So they asked the public, send us all your footage from the eclipse. And then somebody was like, I'm gonna see if they check this or not. I'll show you, let's see who's.

Maracas. Yeah. Am I blocking out the sun now? ROG Media's 24-7 news program was covering the eclipse when three anchors presented clips submitted by fans experiencing celestial phenomenon. This is why you gotta check the clips. Only to fall prey to a well-known prank in Latin America.

I didn't, is this a well-known prank in Latin America. Is this a well-known prank in Latin America? I didn't know. You're our Latin American expert. You're our connection. Yeah, but he only knows up till sixth grade. Leave him alone. I know, sorry. I watched you in America.

All right, so the local La Vanguardia. La Vanguardia. The La Vanguardia newspaper reported as the male host was listing the cities from where the eclipse. It was a team of bad cocksuckers. Ah ha ha. The eclipse being presented on the cities from where the eclipse was to be judged. It was a team bad cucks of us. Ha ha ha. The eclipse being presented on the left side of the screen,

cut to a man blocking out the sun with his testicles. Yeah. So he was. He was eclipsing it. It was an eclipse in some ways. It was an eclipse of sorts. One of the two. The two moons of Tatooine.

One of the two female anchors could be heard gasping in shock while her male colleague carried on ignoring the obscene image. The clip was quickly taken off screen when the male anchor explained that the clips were submitted by viewers as he admitted that the fervor to include the fans experiences can lead to embarrassing situations for broadcasters.

The balls to do that. It's not uncommon for people to share clips of the so-called testicular eclipse online during a solar event. So people are like, hey, you want to see something? Where'd the sun go now? You want to see some of this nuts? These nuts.

All right. With such images previously shared during the 2019 eclipse in Chile. Wait, it happened then too? People pranked them? Oh yes. It's a Latin American thing. You got to put your nuts out there. Even Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee has gotten in on the risque gag.

Sons Out Balls Out, similar video on Instagram before the page was taken down. Tommy Lee made famous by that Pamela Anderson Tommy Lee video where he's using his dong to like honk a boat horn and that whole thing. So he does the testicular eclipse. I think it's kind of funny. Do you agree?

They must be old now, so they must hang pretty low. They are low. I mean, he was blocking it out early. Moon and three stars. That's right. No matter what, don't look directly at it. Don't look directly at Tommy Lee's testicles. But Monday's incident.

You gotta look at them through a shoe box. To the pinhole. So Monday's incident in Mexico appears to be the first time the image was made its way onto television. Okay, so it's an online thing. With many mocking the news outlet for failing to check the video before airing it. One.

What color were they? What'd I say? What color were they? Pink? I don't know. Dark brown. I think they were pink probably. Black.

Exactly. One ex user with the handle Revolver claimed responsibility for submitting the clip to RCG as he reveled in the successful prank. Greetings to all my peoples from Saltillo, who had to watch my eggs on television because those from at RCG Media neglected to review the video of Eclipse carefully.

So he's blaming them. He's like, you didn't check my video. I did my thing. That's not my fault. Also, that's translated, because the reason he said eggs is probably because he said huevos. Huevos.

My huevos. You said I'm generous. I love them. Huevos grandes. Huevos grandes. It remains You said that in Cherries? I love them. Huevos grandes. Huevos grandes. It remains unclear if the footage submitted was of him himself or if it was recycled from previously, previous testic drillers.

It was Joey Diaz balls, eh? It was Joey Diaz balls. Those are some big balls. Those are some big balls. Those are some big balls. Huevos! I love it. There you go.

That's it, story number three. That's it. It's a little dumb people town for you with the great Felipe Esparza Hey go check him out live wherever he is Felipe's world or Felipe world dot-com Felipe's world dot-com on a tour like second leg of the tour second leg of the tour man At my leisure. He's so good You will love him so much and go down a rabbit hole and go watch all of his stand-up tips because so good And while you're at it watch Dan's special Rose

Gold and then come check us out we love it it's a great special and oh snap we get back to work we'll see you