Dumb People Town - Frankie Quinones - In The Woods

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

Comedian and actor Frankie Quinones (The Dress Up Gang, Cholo Fit, https://frankiequinones.com/) stops by as Daniel describes a man peeing in "the woods," Jason explains how an AirBnB guest is accused of peeing on furniture, and Randy warns against getting drunk and high after an AA meeting and busting up an airport, and so much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, we've got an amazing episode of Dumb People Town this week. We got a story about a guy who's peeing in the woods, a story about a woman who's peeing on furniture, and a guy with no shoes who tries to hijack a plane. It's crazy. And it's all done with our buddy Frankie Kinyone's. It's an unbelievable episode. Check it out. Dan and ran and Jay will share tales of folk so unaware. They lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose will make the news.

Breaking down each epic bail in Florida. There's half-price mail. I'm happy to say they. So listen to our podcast band With co-host our man Dan Man dirt Don't be a jerk Because when the music

It's the fun Stick around Make a sound Come your Down is don't people town A townies welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town Population Population Cignonish

Frankie Cignonettes Welcome to the show my man So what's up It's so good to have you here Dude every time I see you at this door I'm just smiling I'm like so happy A because you're funny

as I'll get out, but two, it's just, you're such a good hang, dude. Oh, right on, man. You're great hang. And your stuff is just, your stuff online. It's like, this is the way I, we have a friend in, uh, in Detroit who is like, one of the funniest too. You know how you have friends who aren't in the business, but are like the funniest person that you know.

So our buddy Jimmy Acho, I love him so much. And I, it's like, what, what clips are you sending to your friend who isn't in the business to be like, you got to see this? So many of your clips we said to him and he's just like, I love you. He loves you. He loves you and he's a great barometer. So Jimmy, we got him on the show, all right? He's here.

He's here. Are you guys going to jump into a dumb story? Let's jump into a dumb story. So this is actually, we've never had this happen on the show before. So I, a sneaky plug, I have another podcast called The Midnight Air. It's like an overnight radio podcast where it's just me talking about whatever. The type of stuff I used to listen to in the backseat while my grandma drove us on a road trip and I would fall. It's the best.

It's like that sort of like overnight radio stuff. So people can email me in there. and the email address for that is the midnight mailbag at gmail.com. So this guy sent in an email asking if he was the asshole, like they do on Reddit. Am I the asshole? Yeah, I love that on Reddit. When something happens, you're like, am I the bad guy? Is she the bad?

What is it? So Rob sent this in to me, and I read it and I even wrote it back and I go, I have to do this as a story. It happened to one of your listeners. Yes. And I imagine he's a listener to this show too. Great. Rob, here we go. So Rob, Rob.

Rob, via the midnight mailbag at Chima.com. Ask, am I the asshole? The topic, subject, whatever you call it, if you're making this a red quote. The headline? Would be, am I the asshole? Street decency. Street decency. Street decency.

It feels like that could be a Frankie Cignon is special. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On who. Street decency, homie? Or like a dress-up gang, like a B plot. We're like, you're just not decent. My favorite thing about the dress-up gang, for anybody who's not watch it, I have friends that are on that show.

Frankie's fucking awesome on the show. It's one of the things that helped me get me through the early days of the pandemic. It got to see the light of day because of that. This show is so phenomenal because they take the most innocuous, smallest things. Oh, I've knocked over water. And they blow it up to the biggest deal.

Like you start wearing a tank, you start wearing a, or using a toothpick. Like, remember that way? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, obviously, they're great. Okay, here we go. Ready? Yes.

Sent in. Hi, Daniel. I recently had an encounter with a guy that lives on the other side of my rather large neighborhood and wanted to ask, am I the asshole? Oh, God. Is rather large neighborhood a flex? Maybe it's to indicate we don't know each other. Right.

It's a big neighborhood. It's not small. All right. The same guy has been walking his dog to the common ground across the street from my house to have his dog use the bathroom. I've sat high and I've talked to him about the persimmon tree across the street several times. As his dog is eating persimmons off the ground. that the cars haven't yet run over.

Yesterday, as he got to the corner to let his dog pee, he whips it out himself and starts pissing in the... No. Come on, man. Granted, his back was turned to my side of the street, but he was facing the backyards of another neighborhood in the opposite side of the tree line. You can't...

I clipped images and video from my horrible security cameras and attach them to you if you want to look and or share, as I'm not on social media whatsoever. I'm already on this guy's side on the fact that he just isn't on social media. Yeah, I like him. Oh, and he's not the one peeing in public. I know. He cuts out horribly.

So I just clipped me walking out my front door and yelling at him. And his response was, I'm in the woods, man. No, you're not. You're not in the woods. If I can see you from my house, you might barely be in the woods. No. If you are turning away from my house and you can see another house, you are not in the woods. He said he's facing somebody else's backyard.

Yeah. You're not in the woods. Like I can go to anybody's front yard and be like, yeah, I'm in the woods. His response was, I'm in the woods, man, which he clearly wasn't. If you can't or don't want to open these things that I've sent, no worries. The story itself should be enough to get the picture. I did send the images and video to the HOA. and I'm waiting for a reply.

Am I the asshole for confronting someone pissing in broad daylight for the neighborhood kids or anybody else to see? Or should I have minded my own business? All the best. Rob. How badly do you have to go that you can't wait five minutes to get back to your house? Yeah. Well. Or like also.

It's a fetish. So here's a thing. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm just saying like it's bubbling up. Like you start to walk the dog. You're like, I probably should go to the bathroom. Go back to your house and do it.

And then. But if anything near you is paved, you are not in the woods. That part, yeah, he's definitely not in the woods. He's not in the woods. So here's the thing. So there's two things going on here. Number one, he's peeing kind of in a public place, which is not cool. Number two, he's just outright lying and...

I said this in the minute here. Gaslighting the dude. Trees. You at least have to go two to three trees deep and park yourself behind one. Yeah. Because then, yes, someone still could see you. But that person is going to go, oh, I think that guy's peeing over there. So I peed on a tree.

They're not going to say anything to you because you did try to get out of the view. You tried to get out. Yes. I was at my daughter's golf tournament this weekend. We were way out into the thing. And like I had to pee and there was no bathroom anywhere. So I went kind of down into someone's backyard. Into someone's backyard.

No, you know. A bunker off. On a dog. No, I peed behind a tree like up ahead of hole. But I was hiding. Yeah. Yeah, you're making sure. Nobody's seen you.

Right, yeah, yeah. I was in the brush. Like, I made, I didn't whip it out on the sidewalk. You do that. So if someone sees you, they assume you are trying to not be seen. Correct. So they're like, are you doing other things like, hey, there's a ball back here. Are you saying other things that makes it look like you're not?

Letter. There's a ball back. Hey, there's some stuff. You guys, there's some stuff. I'll get it. I'll get it. I'll get it. Letter number two.

Oh, God. Hi, Daniel. I heard back from the HOA. They don't seem to be very interested in the guy pissing in the open like you have seen. Their response was, find out where he lives. That's not my fucking job. Find out where he lives. I've shared the images and video with my neighbors who suggested forwarding everything to the sheriff's department,

even though this should be on the HOA to just take care of. Isn't that what a housing organization does? That's their job. Don't they want to do that stuff? It's kind of like gangster on there and find out where he lives. Bam, bro. I'd be interested in your take on the issue, seeing as you're the new HOA president. Context, I don't hate myself enough.

I have become the HOA president from my mom's condo building. You have? Yes. In Chicago. He's doing it from afar. Yes. I have a meeting later this week with me and Cheryl and Dawn and Claudia. Cheryl and Donne.

And Marjorie. Cheryl and Dawn. Yes. Screwed, man. Cheryl alone is fine, but you had gone into that mix? Guys, you don't understand. We've had leaks. We've got a pigeon issue.

We've got garbage issue. We've got to build a new corral for the dumpsters. And all I want is my mom to have a goddamn cat. That's the only reason I took this on. Okay. So he says, Christ. I'd be interested to hear your take on the issue, but he's going to get your guys as well. Seeing that you're the new H-O-A president, how would you handle this as president and as a normal resident like myself?

I forgot to mention that this is in the suburbs. So it's somewhat expected for the area. Thanks for your time and all the hours of entertainment you give us Rob. So I think, yeah, Frankie, what do you think? I mean, if you were the president, it's on your, comes across your desk, president of the HOA, which, by the way, if he was the president of some HOA, I'd be like, go. Where are you born in race? I was born here in the valley. Okay, that's what I had, so I'm going to confirm.

Well, before we go any further, we do get to play a quick game of whose home state did this have. happening. Oh. So. Oh. Did it happen in California? Did it happen in California? Illinois or Missouri.

All right. Get your guests is in and I'll read it. I'll tell you guys right now before we give our responses on what we would do. I think it happened in California. California? I want to say California. I don't think it's California because they said woods. Yeah.

There's no woods. Missouri. I'm saying Missouri. I'm going to say Illinois. Just to be a contrarian. I forgot to mention that this is in the St. Louis suburbs, Jefferson County. So it's somewhat expected for the. Thank you for your time and all the hours of entertainment you give us Rob.

Okay, so how would we handle this? First of all, where are we at on is Rob the asshole? No, right? No, this guy is not the asshole at all. Had he approached him in a more violent way, he could have possibly been the asshole? Like if he... Yeah, if you come out with a gun to tell somebody to stop pissing, I'd be like, buddy, you have gone too hard in the yard.

This is what would have made it okay for me. If you get caught, if you get literally caught with your pants down, okay, peeing in the thing. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. This is what I would say. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'm having like a, I'm having a kidney stone. It doesn't matter. You can say anything. Right. I'm so sorry, dude. It just caught, it hit me on I had no choice. I'll never do this again. I will never do it again. And it just got here. I'm in the woods. I'm in the woods. He made up alive. So it's probably mid-drag. He's like, what's your fault? I'm in the woods. What's your problem? I'm scrolling through like text while he's peeing.

Leaning back. But if I'm HOA, I'm going over to the house. Go to the house. This isn't an email because I just want to know like, we're serious. Just don't be pissing. Come on, buddy. Like, you got to go. I would warn him.

First of all, you give a warning. And if it doesn't have to get in three, four months, I want to rip that up. Don't worry about it. Fine. But we just have to like take it seriously.

Right, right, right. Right. And is he just like unzipping a zipper and peeing that way? Or is he full on pulling out? I mean, it seems like a guy at a urinal would put his pants all the way down. At the trough at the trough at Wrigley Field. Go, but one thing that stood up. He was like, he was like, in a rather large neighborhood.

Yes. But then in the first letter, he was like, he was peeing into the next neighborhood. He said, there's that detail. So he must be on the edge. Yeah, he was on the edge of a very large. So in his defense, he's like, hey, I'm peeing in the next neighborhood. He's like in that part of the video game where you can't go any far. Yeah.

So he's like, I went as far as I could go, dude. Take it up with their HOA. Yeah. He technically landed in their backyard. Yeah. Letter number three. Oh shit. I'll stop bothering you with this now. That's what he wrote.

But three days in a row, clear his video attached. The last couple of days, he's just staring at the cameras thinking he's intimidating someone, I guess. So he's still peeing, but now staring at this guy's cameras when he's doing it.

Oh, my God. This guy is. At this point, I go, Rob, the only asshole thing about you is that you think you might be the asshole. No, no, no. You are not the assholes. That's what I'm saying.

Definitely not now at this point. No. Three days in a row, he's back, pissing and facing Rob's house. Now he's whipping it out and facing him. And looking at his camera. Yes. At this point, now I am like, and I am not, I am a like, come on, let's work it out type person.

But I am like, do you want me to call the cops? Well, so he's not on his property. Okay, that's number one. But at the same time, he is exposing himself within the view. Yeah. He's exposing himself within view. Yes. I know.

Don't take your piece. bro. The HOA hasn't done anything. No call. No one coming by to see things from themselves. Just an email asking where the guy lives from the initial contact. Can you post pictures of him online? That's what I said too. I would post pictures of online. I'd be like, do you know this person? Hey guys, it's time again for the neighborhood pisser. Wait, are you watching the show Neighbors on HBO Max? I couldn't do it. Oh my God. Is it on Peacock? It's on HBO Max. Not your friends and neighbors, but neighbors. The first one I just was like,

it's just going to lead to somebody shooting. It's just a documentary about people. Oh, yes. You know who like used to be... I saw the first episode. Right. So they like either, they used to be friends and now someone put a fence up that's like three feet into their property.

Were these people in Florida beach fighting? I know, dude. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was crazy. Private beach thing. Yeah. And like sending the guy out and the guy, oh my God, that's super fat dude. Oh my God.

Okay. So do you want to see the first photo of this guy? You can see a house in the background. But he could have walked into it a little bit. He's not in the woods. He's on the outside. He's on the edge of the house. Okay.

You're not in the woods, partner. I mean, we're in the weeds, but you're not. How bad. Do you not have a bathroom in your house? I see the houses in the background. Why is he wearing an orange vest? Do you not have a mask? He cares about safety.

He's like, I don't want to get, I don't want to get hit by a. Wall up. Yeah, deer hunter here. Okay. Yeah. So he is, he's just constantly going across. You're not an asshole, Rob. No, no, no.

This guy is like... Looks like his dog's off leash too. Yeah, that's right. Thank you. Thank you. That's another AGOA. That's the thing the HOA is like, we are on it. Yeah.

The off leashed dog, not in my head. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, okay, we all agree, Rob is not the asshole. Not the asshole. And would you, as a resident, would you have done, would you be doing anything else about this? I'm going to the cops. I'm like this guy's, this is threatened. Three days in a row.

It's threatening. At this point. If you're peeing in my direction, that's threatening. Well, yeah, when he starts looking at. at the camera, wrong. That's a little Kate fear. And is he showing his? Yes.

He's just kind of like looking back. Over the shoulder. Coily over the shoulder. Rob, please tell us how this gets resolved. It's a new headshot. I hope this dude has an Ebony's a Scrooge night and wakes up and comes over and goes, sorry for all that, my dude. I hope we're good.

And then you guys become friends and are like garage buddies. That would be the best case scenario, but I don't think it's anything like that. I don't think that's going to happen. All right. That's story number one friends. Jason Scalar is up next. we come back, I'll tell you about midnight air and other stuff. Other stuff and we'll tell you how you can watch what Frankie has going on.

We're off and running. It's Dumb People Town with Frankie Kinyonis. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound. Come you down. It's Dump People Town. All right, guys, welcome back to the show before we jump into all the great stuff

that Frankie's doing, Hulu special show, all that stuff and dates. Daniel, tell us what you got going on. Go to Daniel Vancirk.com for my stand-up dates. Raleigh, North Carolina at the Rialto. I will also be in Dead Crow comedy in Wilmington, North Carolina. And then May 6th, that is Netflix as a joke. I'll be doing that show at 10 o'clock. That'll be great.

Come on out for that. That's my headlining show running my current and evolving, but really fun, new hour here in Los Angeles. And then I will be in Charlotte as well as like Baltimore, D.C., Austin, everywhere. Daniel Vancirk.com. I got days from now until October. I hope to see you. And if you have a neighbor who's bothering you, you can email the midnight mailbag at g-mail.

Send it. Listen to his podcast. It's super dope. Yeah. And then, you know, I've been doing these interviews. I'm going to drop it later this year. This little, like, limited series called It's a Living where I talk to people who have jobs that are like the type of shit where you go, I've never met anybody who's done that before. And I've got to.

You've had every job. I was a grave digger and a federal agent. And I worked at a tanning salon. He does so much stuff. So, yeah. But I talked to a guy who was like a corpsman on a cell. sub, like the doctor on a submarine. I talked to a cheesemaker. I talked to, you know, every Trader Joe's has a resident artist that does all of those price tags by hand and does

all the artwork that you see around the store. So I got to interview a Trader Joe's artist in Connecticut. And then in Boston, I interviewed a- This is a great series. A woman who designs haunted houses. And so she took me through like one of the haunts. I put that in the same category as guy who designs golf courses. On the docket, I have a corner in Kentucky, a garbage, man in San Francisco, a sex therapist in Dallas. Hey now. A guy whose job as it is to inspect the abandoned tunnels in Chicago. Ooh.

Yeah. So I go there. That's scarier than Greg Digger. I interview them. A lot of them let me have a tour of like their work and what they do. And I get to like put to make video of and stuff like that. So I'm working on that. Everything's over at the midnight mailbag at gmo.com or the actual show, the midnight air.

I love it. Frankie, dude, let's talk about your special, Hulu special. And by the way, go back and watch this full. You're so freaking good. on that show. Chris Estrada are doing this. They can watch it on who they can watch on who they can watch it. Yeah, yeah, it's still there. Please watch it. Right? Two seasons and a great show.

And that's where your Netflix, or not your Netflix. That's where your special is on Hulu. Yes, sir. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Title of the special. Damn, that's crazy. Damn, that's crazy. Homegirl, Ali Wong directed it. Yeah. Oh, nice. Come on. Where did you shoot him? In Portland at the Revolution Hall.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Dude, I love it. Man, you're, again, I'm such a fan of all your stuff. You were so good. I loved how they used you on this fool. I loved how it like, you just filled this role on that show. And you and Chris were like a yin and yang that was so good on that show. I just, I mean, you guys have been friends for a long time.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, a long time. You were like, when he got that show, were you so excited or did it come through you? How did it go? Yeah, it was fun. Well, he was featuring for me when I started headlining. And then, yeah, they started working on that show. and so I was kind of just chiming in

but it was like four years in the making and then all good things are and then once they got it locked and loaded then Fred Armisen stepped on board as a EP and help pitch it and then yeah and then Michael Imperiali came on board and yeah I love him we did a movie with him

years ago we did my baby's daddy if you remember that shit of the movie yes we were the white rappers in my baby's daddy come on brother style brother styles way back he played our manager and we got to like be up in Toronto and shoot this movie with him. And he was, this was like fresh off the, in the Sopranos mix.

Yeah. And he just was like, just hearing him tell stories of like being on the Sopranos and what, and good fellas and whatnot. So many cool stories. Incredible. What a great dude. He was spider. I love it.

All right. Shall we jump in this? Let's keep jumping in. All right. Damn, that's crazy. Yes, sir. Damn, that's crazy. That's the special one.

Who's the Watcher. Okay, here we go. This was sent in by Kyle Andrews at Late Night Nachos. I can't believe, Dan, you did a story about someone, peeing because I got story about so. Oh, really? I'm good. Pensacola Airbnb guest accused of peeing on furniture. What? Causing and we'll guess how much damage.

I mean, you're not a cat. So there's two ways you find this out, right? Okay. You either have common area cameras in your Airbnb and hopefully you disclose that. Or you're like, there's piss on this couch. This smells like pee. Or. And this is human piss. There's another or, Dan. Okay.

What? They leave a note? No. I got your ass. Pensacola, Florida, WKRG. A Pensacola woman has been arrested for allegedly peeing on and damaging furniture items in two local Airbnbs. What? That's her thing. Oh, she's got a fetish. Yeah, this is a quote. So I'm just going to say this.

If I am an Airbnb owner in Pensacola, you have to say, expect to get your ship beat up. There's a 15% chance that someone's going to pee on that. 15%? I'm just putting it at 15. Is that high? There's a 15% chance of precipitation in your house. Someone's going to pee on your breath. And also, forgive me if I don't really understand.

That feels like, right? Like, hey, we're getting into this business. We're going to be Airbnb on us. In Pensacola. We need to understand that someone might pee on our stuff. Yeah, everything needs to be wiped down. Someone's going to change your radiator and someone's going to kill it. Now you're like, I understand why grandma put the plastic on.

You know what I mean? Because that's easily. You index that out. Forgive me if I don't really understand like female anatomy. But it's it would take a lot of effort to projectile pee, right? You have to stand over it. Stand over it. But that's not projectile.

That's gravity. That's gravity. I'm talking projectile. So that's my point. She has to eyeball what can I hover over. Right. And she's just standing on to piano and just comes out. I think.

Couch may be seated in general. You just let it ride. But the, all right, here we go. According to arrest documents from the Pensacola Police Department, an Airbnb owner filed a criminal mischief complaint on March 15th regarding damage made to her rental property. The owner told office. that someone sent her a message on the Airbnb app claiming her, uh, her then current guest

identified as, and I'll guess her age at the end. Nicolette Kehoe had peed on multiple items in the unit in North Kuma. Okay. So she's marking her territory, which in an Airbnb is not nice. You know what I mean? That's not your territory. So wait. You own a, you own a property property.

You know, you let your dog in. And if he's on like every bush in like a neighborhood, you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He just, he just wants it. Nothing even came out. He just liked knowing that he was there. He's marking his territory. Okay, but so the theory here is, or like the chain of events is, Jason owns an Airbnb.

Right. I stay there. I piss all over the place. And then one of you messages him to say I did that. Because he's saying the owner got a message saying that. So like you guys would, like, you're my friends hanging out with me and then you're like, we got to tell this home owner. Oh, so one of her friends.

It must have been because he just said, what? There's too many terms. Later, the owner of. allegedly found a video on an adult content website that showed a woman peeing in the unit and causing damage. Wow. But they had already had a message. But so, so that means someone watched the porn.

Was it like, hey, I know that place. I know that couch. And then message the owner and said, hey, just so you know, this woman's peeing all over your air.

Posting it online. I go to youjiz.com right now. And then their friends are like, wait, why were you watching that? Don't worry about that. I'm talking. by your couch now.

Don't worry about you on that. I'm in a very special law and order sex crimes unit where we find criminal mischief. Are you? It doesn't, it's here or you?

Why did you swallow in the middle of the middle? It's also bad when anybody goes here nor there. Anybody who goes, that's here nor there. That's neither here nor there. It's fucking here.

Because it's neither here nor there. It's not here or there. It's all bad. That's neither here nor there, homie. We've got a you've been moving and stay focused. I've never heard you say that phrase.

He's never said that before. When people call you out, they're like, no, no, no, no, no, we got to stay focused. No, no, no, I want to go back to how you knew. We got to stay focused. No one was unfocused. We want to know why. By the way, our friend Rebecca,

who has been in the corporate world for a long time, she told me the best corporate phrase that people say that's kind of in the same thing. Like if people are making too big of a deal about something, she like said, this is a corporate phrase. There's no need to boil the ocean on this. There's no need to boil the ocean here. That's a new one.

To boil the ocean means you're taking a lot of effort to boil an entire ocean. Guys, no need to boil the ocean. Just move on. It's neither here nor there. I think it's both here and there. Let's keep it moving. Stay focused, stay focused, stay focused and move forward. The owner documented the damage with photos and reported a strong odor of urine in the residence, according to the Pensacola.

Please. She reportedly found that. I just want to smash that like button. Yeah. Hey now. All right. Listen to all the things that she peed on. This is such a...

Is she squirting or peeing? That is a great question. Well, it smells like you. Some people would say... It smells like you. Other people will fight you to the death. I know, I know. I know there's a debate.

You're probably right. Because she's not hovering over an armwar. She's the golden shower. You don't know what she's doing. But if she's... If Frankie's on to the... He is on. He is on.

He reportedly found an antique crown royal chair. Okay. rug typewriter typewriter so I'm saying four dining room chairs oh god

all have piano coffee maker coffee maker no bed oh god TV TV record player mounted small mouth bass

toaster boaster she could get electrocuted right Jay is just naming objects in this room no I'm not

and electric fireplace she put the fireout Needed to be replaced amounting to how much in damages. That's a lot of stuff. You list a lot of stuff. I did list a lot of stuff. I'm going to go $2,500.

Okay. I'm going to say, $5,000. That first thing you said sounds fancy. $6,000. All right. Get your answers in, homies.

$3,900. Wow. Let me say this, though. And the cynic in me is saying, what if he's like, I need new stuff for the Airbnb? he's in cahoots with this woman. He's like, go ahead and pee on it.

She's going to get in trouble. Yeah. Yeah. The police said, That's why you don't get in business with an Airbnb owner. Okay, so the responding officer then arrested Keogh and charged her

with damaged your property and criminal mischief. Sure. A police report said that Keio allegedly peed on other items at another Airbnb owned by the same person down the same street. They're using pee loosely. I know.

Wow. Wait, so she selected the same host. Yeah, same host. That's why it does feel like it's an inside job. What other properties do you have? Here's the other property. Here's what she peed on at that other property. Oh, I can't wait to hear this.

A vase. Green rug. Ancient. I'm sorry. Accent wall. Either way. Either way. Ancient wall.

Accent wall. Chair. A tiger rug were also peed on. Oh, so like the shape of a tiger. If you got a tiger rug, you got liquid. You've had a lot of liquid. that house. This, this,

this was how much damage at that house? Yeah, Tiger Road. $2,000. $2,000? What do you think, then? I mean, what do you, how do you price out? A tiger rug. Yeah, Tiger rug.

Come on, that could be really expensive. Tiger would be like, downtown LA, you got it for 10 bucks or is it like, real tiger. That would be insane. That would be insane. I'm going to go, this second house did sound like that scene from boogie nights where they're throwing firecrackers is in the corner. Accent wall. What?

What's a fucking accent? Do you have to replace an accent wall or do you just clean it? Excent wall is in like, oh, we did wood paneling on this one wall. And that costs us extra. Yeah, it's like a little wall. So she's definitely squirting because I are going to like, yes, you're 100% right. She's like legs out going it. I'm going to go.

Get the wall. She's got the wall. She's Jackson Pollocking. Come on. Like and subscribe. I'm going to go. I'll go 3K. 3K.

I said 2K. I'm going to say $1,500. $1,500. Get your answers in. Frankie's the closest, 1375. Wow. Frankie. Nice.

According to the police report. I don't know my tiger rugs. Yes, it definitely wasn't a real tiger. She was arrested. We'll get out of here on this. How old? How old is Nicolette Keough, the woman who's willing to pee on an accent wall and a tiger rug. So you have a for a guest.

You're definitely hydrated. You can go last. Hydrated. Are you saying kids today are not hydrated? they just are. No, she knows to be hydrated. Yeah. She's got to load up. 32. 32. I'm feeling 20s. I know. I want to say 20s, but I feel like

she's experienced. She should know. A 20 year old, I don't know. They're not going to know. She had to mix it up to like keep a, keep the career goal. I think this is, this woman is like she's very, I think it's 46. I think she knows. We're going to be all over the mat because I'm going 24 years. Okay. Four years old. Okay. One of you is one year. off. Oh, 45. I'll go up or down in here.

I'll go 45. You want to go 33 or 31? 31. 31. He's inching back down to the 20s. I like it. You know what? I'm going to lock in at 25.

Okay. All right. Get your answers in at home. Watch the special on Hulu. I got a story. Oh, yeah. You got a story coming out. Don't clip my story.

I still watch it. I know. I know. I'll tell the segment. Nicolette Kio is 31. You're a. Well done, dude. Wow.

Frankie Quinoos just walks in and owns this shit. Walks in and walks off. Walks in and walks off. I see you guys later. We're just saying you know how old someone who pees on everybody's stuff is. It's a great skill to. I've got, now we all travel for comedy. I've got a little airport tomfoolery.

We'll get that after the break. One last story. And we'll let you know what we're up to. This is dumb people time with the great Frankie Kiyonis. Stick around. Hunger Down Easton people town Hey guys, welcome back to the show Before we jump in, let's let people know

Because we've added some dates and stuff on our stuff. May 6th, we have our Netflix is a joke show, The Target show at 930 at UCB. Those tickets are selling that almost, that's probably going to sell out great people on that show. And then we're going to be in Mobile, Alabama on the 13th, and Baton Rouge and 14th, Lake Charles and Lafayette. So those four plays, a little run in the south we're doing through the 16th.

Of May. of May, then 19th and 20th. We're in San Francisco at Cobbs Comedy Club. I think on the 16th, we're going to headline the Venice West here in L.A., which is really cool. And then we just added Fort Collins. Fort Collins in July. At the Comedy Fort.

Superclogers.com and check all that stuff out. And here we go. All right, Rand, bring it home. Here we go. Florida, this is sent in by David Fornier at DP Fornier 2. A Florida man causing havoc at an airport amidst to getting high and drunk after a AA meeting. Hey, that's a good way to knockoff. Is that the 13th step?

Right back into the bottle. Causing havoc at an airport. That's like really getting into it. Was he a spirit air? Valuci. Right. Yeah, exactly. It's a crazy meeting.

He got inspired. Volusia County. Welcome to relapse air. Volusia County, Florida. After crashing through an airport's gate and trying to hijack a plane, that's coming in hot. Yeah. So, just buy a first class ticket. Brian Parker admitted that he drank alcohol, snorkewarm,

Nordic cocaine and smoked marijuana. Won't those three cancel themselves out? I feel like you just be that one. Now he's just normal. This is Denzel sequel to flight. Exactly. The upside down. Fight.

It's fight or flight. After leaving Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, according to a video deputy is released on Thursday, Parker and we'll guess his age later. Appeared of Lucia County Court on Thursday, accused of driving his blue Ford Mustang through a locked gate at Daytona Beach, Daytona Beach International Airport on Wednesday afternoon. So the gate is down. boom he's through it and now he's But drug problem

Mustang Daytona Beach this is all eventually going to happen Yeah right right right sure I was at my house and people started chasing me No they didn't no Parker told the velocity Like you know in his mind That's the cocaine talking right If he's like I'm going to tell him people who chase me

And then you're good He's seeing helicopters right He put him in handcuffs crew in the video Parker of Holly Hill Nearly crashed the foreign Mustang into a taxing Aircraft on the secondary Oh my gosh. That's dangerous. In the Ambry Riddle Aeronautical University's area, and he got out of the car, according

of Lucia Sheriff. Parker ran to the aircraft in the area at an airport operation technician, chased him down, pulled him out of a plane and sat him in the truck's tailgate. Parker jumped out of the tailgate, ran towards another plane before he was once apprehended and placed in handcuffs. So do you think a guy who drove through a gate and tried to steal a plane if you're like, here, sit here. No.

That's going to work? No. No. No, bro. Just chill. I'm going to trust you. Are you good now? I'm good, man.

I'm good. What else would I do? What else would I do? It's like you had to point break. Where am I going to go, man? I'm going to turn my back for 30 seconds because I have to do something over here. You're good. You're good.

Genuine question for the three of you, to the best of our knowledge, no Google. You do this. You can never fly again. Never. Yeah. Like you'll never. you're not even allowed in any airport not even allowed around the airport yeah Parker

who jumped the tailgate ran toward another plane before he was once apprehended put in handcuffs Parker who was barefoot of course uh told a deputy he didn't remember how he or his car got to the airport I'm tired as though they got there separately this what I don't know how I got here I don't know how that car got here he's like I'm tired I ran a lot now he's barefoot it sounds like every dad right this I'm tired of around that

he's barefoot do you think he flintstoneed his car there You know, like he, for sure. Barefoot rolled it there. It does feel weird when your barefoot is on your accelerator. I know, dude. To the deputy court in video, Parker faces charges of attempting aircraft piracy. I didn't realize that was a charge. It exists now.

That's that. Two counts of exposure of sexual organs. So he's like your friend. And we're back to the first story. Wow. Burglary of an unoccupied convenience. Conveance. Trespass on operational area of an airport criminal mischief.

D.Y crash with damage. Refusal to submit to D. I'm up. And do I third offense. He refused after all that. Yeah, he's like, I'm not going to do a, what you want me to do a field surprise? I know my rights. Don't blow.

Parker was at the Volusia County branch jail. Volusia County judge denied him bond. We're going to get out of here on this before we go. Okay. The special once again is, damn that's crazy. Yeah. Damn that's crazy. I love this guy.

Go ahead. Kansas City. May 1st and 2nd, Seattle, May 9th. For Netflix is a joke festival, May 7th at the Sabanti. with the Dodgers for the catcher Will Smith. It's a fundraiser for his catching hope. Let's go. Be on that show.

But yeah, frankie anonis.com for any other upcoming dates. Thanks. Go watch all his videos. Like the, just you are one of my favorite people who are doing it today. And I'm just so happy you came on this show. Oh, thanks for having you, man. All right.

Let's get out of here on this. Let's guess. Brian Parker is how old? 48. 36. 54. Okay. Get your answers.

in townies. This dude's a genius. Brian Parker is 58 years. Oh, right. Hey. Oh my God. I love it. That is how we do it. We love you guys. Thank you for support us. And oh, snap, we got to get back to work. Boom.