Dumb People Town - Jackie Kashian - Not Loving It

Episode Date: March 24, 2026

Comedian Jackie Kashian (Alter-Kashian) stops by as Randy describes how a man got banned from McDonald's for bringing a horse-drawn wagon through the drive thru, Jason explains how a judge threw out a lawsuit against Buffalo Wild Wings about boneless wings, and Daniel warns against wearing a Batman cowl when trying to de-escalate a neighborhood dispute, and so much more!

Townies, we have a banger of a dumb people town episode for you. We are joined by the great Jackie Cation. Oh my God, there's so much happening. We're horsing around in McDonald's. We've got a boneless fight at Buffalo Wild Wing. Got a bone to pick. And Batman cop man shows up to a dispute. It's all this week on Dumb People Town.

Dan and ran and Jay will share tales of folk so unaware they lack and grace and sometimes choose the life they choose will make the news. Breaking down each epic failed and floor. There's half price bail. I'm happy to say they. We'll listen to our podcast brand with co-host our man Dan. Man dirt, don't be a jerk. Let's spread the music. It's the funny.

Stick around. Don't people town. Hey, Tadies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population Cation. Population Cation. Jackie. What? Okay, that's your next special.

Population Cation. Oh, my gosh. Gosh, yeah. Staycation, has that been... Staycation was when we were all in town. Okay, that's right. By last name's Kaysen, we were all lived indoors for 60 months. Yes, that's staycation.

And this one's altercation because I want to punch everyone in the nose. Okay, so that is... We'll talk about our new special. We'll get into it, but we got dumb to get into Kish. Exactly. Let's get into it. We have you here. Downtown population.

That's right. Let's Dump People Town. It's dumb people in our story. Our friends send stories in. They can send it to us. We're still on the X if you want to. It's pretty much the only reason we're there. I know.

I literally, the other time I go there. I promote some stuff on there. I mean, you'll throw it up there, but it's, it's, somebody asked you today like, oh, I said something there. You should tweet that. I go, I don't think anybody. I tweeted something the other day. More people are on threads. What did I tweet?

At least an hour old. You tweeted something funny the other day. I can't remember. Anyway. All right. Let's get into this first story. I know. I'm only there for you listeners.

Speaking, you shot your special in Portland at the Siren Theater. Speaking of Portland, our first story is sent to us by one of our great listeners, There's Alvin Cadabay. Oh, yeah, Cadet Bay. Easter is coming around the corner. I always love the Catabay eggs. Which is just a real egg inside of Caramel. Also, if you were at like a resort and so it was like,

hey, tomorrow we're going to go out on the Cadabay if you want to join us. Did you book it ahead of time? You'd be too insecure to ask. So you just assume that's some sort of catamaran-type boat. It's a giant egg that floats. Yeah. It feels like a catamaran pontoon boat. Right.

But what do they call the things that you sit in around a hotel pool, palapa? No, no, no. The Cabagna? Cabagna. Cabana. Cabana. I've dressed like a Cadabana. I've decided years ago that I go Cabana.

You're going to put a little Tilday on that? I go a cabagna. My favorite actress, by the way, is Tildie Swinton. All right, here we go, Tilday Swinton. Here is Alvin Caterbay sent us in. Here is the headline. Powell Man banned from McDonald's after driving horses wagon through the drive-through. Say it again.

Powell Man banned from McDonald's. Why? Because he drove horses and a wagon through the dragon. Is this organ? Is that where I'm from? Powell. So Powell's somewhere. He works at the bookstore.

He's from the bookstore. He has a horse and wagon for some weeks. The bookstore is so big where that's where the Portland Trailblazers practice is in Powell Books. No, it's like inside of Powell Books is like three McMinnamins. Don't you think there's people who have done way worse that aren't banned from McDonald's? Yeah, yeah. And I bet you've only banned from that McDonald's. Because guys you do.

And there's turnover. Of course. So he's going to be fine in three months. Three years. But also, I always wonder like the banning is like, now you're going to get everyone on board. They got to do their regular job, deal with next to employee of the month. Is if the person who banned you remembers you, you can be immediately trespassed. I can't remember people who dislike me.

That's right. Like, they get to hate them over and over and over again. I see him and I'm like, hey, it's that guy. And he's like, oh, shoot. I forgot. You don't like me. I don't have the memory of a regular person. I have the memory of a goldfish.

There used to be a McDonald's across the street from Wrigley Field and a Taco Bell across the street from Riggily Field. And we'll just stick to McDonald's because of the story. The things I saw happen in that McDonald's that no one was getting banned for. Horse and a buggy through drive-thru gets you banned? Let me say this. Just through a regular drive-thruiting. Driving through into the playplace with it.

Yeah, you didn't come in with some Shetlands. Drive-thru does have weird rules, though. Like you can't walk through a drive. I know it's weird because there's some, some they've like given up and then others that are like hardcore policy on it. Could you drive a segue or a scooter? Because if you're in like a party town.

What if I'm in my bike? Yeah. Party town, college town. If you're in line, like sometimes after a show we'll go, you know, like, all right, we got to get food somewhere here at fast food. And it is so often that someone, like a drunk person in their 20s or 50s,

will walk up to you in your car and go, hey, would you order for me? They won't. And I'll usually do it. Of course. Yeah. Well, you're not a monster. What do you care?

I want you to hear how literally what I care. Yes. I want you to hear how literary this article is. Powell resident, Alan Hatch has two new draft horses. He's been training for several months. That's the way they just start the thing off. It's like a portrait. As far as journalism goes, you're like, what did he do wrong?

Get to it right away. Nope. I'm going to like portrait of a horse owner. I'm going to tickle. This is like the beginning of X-Men where we're like, we're going to tell you. We're going to tell you what Magneto went through. We're going to see where this. trauma came from, remember when he makes the fence?

Yeah, of course. Yes, I know. But I'm asking her if she remembers. I'm wearing my America Shabbat's jacket, which is a deep cut in the long boxes. There you go. I love it. But yeah, also it makes me think they're on his side. Like if they're like, hey. The next ends, I love it, Dan. You're so on it. What better way to motivate

everyone than a quick visit to McDonald's? They're saying, what is the problem? Minimize, minimize. They're literally the people right there to go. Right. When a hatched in Topal this week, he decided a cheeseburger and fries would hit the spot. Sure.

This is, like a, the difference was. It's a fluff piece. Right. Very charming. The difference was he was riding a wagon pulled by draft horses in training. I needed some parts from Ace Hardware. We've got to pull us.

And feed at Murdoch's and the horses needed some miles. Hatch told, this is the paper he told. So he's like, hey, these horses need some miles on those hooves, right? Yeah. But then also, if we're looking at the photo, you should go watch everything on YouTube. If you're not watching episodes, you're missing out so much content of this show. If you told me this photo was an ad for McDonald's. I would be like, great.

Yes. Yes. And this is a great idea. If you were like, hey, hey, come, you know, any way you want, as long as you got wheels and an appetite, we got your cover. If this is a black and white photo, I'd be like, they had McDonald's in 1897. No, if I saw this photo, my first thought would be like, Wells Fargo is selling McDonald's. That's a great call, too. They've merged with McDonald's.

So he needed some stuff. And he wanted to get. He just killed two birds with two horses. So in, I mean, this is almost a New York post. Just hit it. Hatch was so hungry he could eat a horse. Stop it. But he thought that he might as well grab some grub while he was in town in a, quote,

spur of the moment decision. Stop. Tell them to stop right now. Well, you can't park horses and then go in. No, you have no problem with the spur of the moment, pun. No, I, of course, just blew it off because I'm like, I get, oh, there's spurs. Nothing. The hoof, take it on the hoof.

Taking on the hoof. Did he say, I don't want to go? I would like to take it on the hoof. You have to leave. Why the long face? Hatch drove his horses through the McDonald's driver. There were several different reactions. The young lady at the first window was very excited to see horses in the drive-thru.

The young lady that was handing me the food to the second window thought it was great. The manager of Pals was not so enthused. Rule of three. Good job, right. She couldn't get off her high horse. Yeah. Informed Hatch that livestock were prohibited in the drive- through unless they're already

butchered into bite-sized portions handed through the window. That is not. The horse? Are you guys serving a horseman? Now McDonald's is like, we have a conversation with that manager. Can we talk about messaging? Yeah.

You know what you should do. He should say, these are seeing eye horses. Yeah. Or comfort horses. My comfort animals. Yeah, yeah. Did they poop in the row? I mean, I guess that's a problem.

That might have been the problem. You know how some horses have that little bag in that? Oh, that catches their proofs. Yeah, that catches it. So I feel like you could just be like, we'll dump that bag out later. The manager of Powell's McDonald's not so enthused. Okay, there's company policy precluding having livestock a drive-thru for purposes of liability. The one thing that she did was very clear about this is what happens if they, quote, shit in my drive-thru and there's no one to clean it up.

Okay. Camerany, would you mind doing a short act out with me? Yes. Okay. You are the first window. You are the first window. And you like my or something? You're the second window.

You're the manager. Okay. Here's my money. Hey, look at you. Oh, thanks so much. You got horses. Hey, thanks for the food. Are they named?

Oh, yeah, they're named. They're new, actually. I just draft one, draft two, because I haven't figured out the names yet, but I do love them both. Don't shit in my drive-thru. What are you really mad about today? Just, I had a...

That would be the first thing I would have... What are you really mad about today? She liked it. Yeah, yeah. What are you mad about? Because it can't be this. Because when you go, who would clean it up? If it was really a problem,

I bet me. Yes. I'm the person. You know, if it's your horse, it's your duty. Hey. Put that in there. Put that in there. No, I'm talking about the thing of a scenario when someone gets out of their car in the

drive-thru, which they never do. And then gets kicked by one of your horses. Then who's liable for that? Me? Of course. Again. It's like the person who takes care of these horses from literal front to back, all of it, would be the person that cleans it.

From head to tail. There's a company policy, so that's what that is. We've been 86 from McDonald's, he said. The manager was not available for comment by publication time, and an email sent to McDonald's corporate offices were not immediately returned. Of course. Cole and Onyx, those are the names, you asked. Oh, thank you.

Those are great names. These horses look gorgeous. Yeah, Hatch grew up around draft horses, but these two are the first team he's ever owned. He picked Cole and Onyx up from a farm near Chattanooga, Tennessee last year. Good for him. Do you know how old there? To one end. I don't know.

They're pretty young. How old do you think they are? They look pretty young. Well, he said. I thought he said at the top, he said they're pretty young. Three. I think they're three years old. They're one year apart, so three and four?

Three and four. Okay. Dan, what do you think they're? I think the manager was like, the main issue here. All right. So they're too old. The main. I'm going to go, what did you say?

I said three and four. Oh, they're the same age. I'm going to go. They're both. They're one year apart. Oh, well, then I'm going to go the same age. No. I'm going to say that they're two and three.

Okay. What do you think? Quit horsing around, Dan. She wants to chop them up. I'm going to go 13, 14. 13, 14. All right. Get your answers in, Danny's.

These two horses are 12 and 13 years. Oh, my God. You know your horses. Horse lady? I was a horse girl. I'm not going to lie to. 13. Do they really need miles on them?

I know. Well, look, you've got them. Their particular pair are trained, but they're new to me, and they speak a little bit of a different language than most of the local teamsters. Oh, my gosh. Weird. It's a matter of me. He's definitely getting answers from these horses.

Have we thought about, I don't know, suing the person who wrote them? I know. That's the next thing. Who's the dumbest person in this article? The article. The wagon is capable of carrying up to 18 people. He acquired colon onics with the attempt that they'd be pulling the wagon. Since the wagon is road legal with a, quote, slow-moving vehicle sign on the back,

hatch can hitch coal and onics and take them into town. They're going to name, they were going to be named colonoscopy. Colonoscopy would be fantastic. Onics and slam? So working mules, no horseplay. God damn this thing. It looked pretty well matched. Yes.

We're acquired for more than pets and publicity. They're busy doing good, honest work and mentoring future farm animals in Powell. And in Powell, Hatch said the primary reason he acquired their horse was to train mule colts. Think of it as a big brother program. Yeah. Okay. So the... I'm in favor, buddy.

The thought is here that someone, is this manager stepping over their bowels? to be doing this. No, they're probably within the legal right of what... But they could have just let it slide. You know what they are? They're freaking buzzkill. Right. They're not fun.

It's like they're not fun. No. I don't know if you've ever worked in fast food, but all fun is needed. Yes. Introduce a horse into the plot. Yes. That is enjoyable. That is good.

I'm going to ride that out the rest of your shit. I would argue that like there's more shit in the ball pit than would come on the area of the right. People who let their kids go into those ballpits. Just the diapers. Though I don't know how you would stop. You can't stop. It can all up to 18 people, but I haven't had that many on it. He said there's a teamster group in Big Horn Basin that takes people on trail rides,

and that's all on wagons. They'll be doing that too, he said to someone who said, we didn't ask you. Yeah, no one asked you that. He said, here's a small ad. If anyone would have 17 friends and like a friend me and my... That's what this is all about. He's him promoting the fact that he's taking people on trail rides. Hash doesn't think the colonomics are ready for that yet.

He's had a few people ride on the wagon while they're pulling. but it's only been a few close friends. Do you really need to say that you have a lot of close friends? Like, I feel like that's now a promotion for this game. You need to talk this much about your transportation on the way. So, like, these are only like three. He also owns a Subaru. Yeah, Subaru, and he's like, these are only three or four of my close friends.

I have other close friends that couldn't be there that day, weren't available. Not because they didn't want to be there. One of these close friends is a woman I had a relationship with. We're now still friends. And she hasn't been able to have another relationship since because no one has been able to Satisfire quite like me. But these horses... There's a guy that I know.

He's a comic, of course, who every story comes up. He was like, so I was talking to this woman. We used to date about 11 years ago. Stop. Or there's this woman I used to do it. We went on on a couple of dates. It didn't really... And you're like, who do no, no. That is the weirdest.

How does that apply to this story? Not at all. She's reading a book I just read. She saw a movie he liked. She went to a restaurant he's thinking about going to. There's nothing. there. We get it.

You still talk to the people you dated 11 years ago. You still live it in hope, brother. Good. I'm certainly not going to be out for hire. This is family and friends only. Once summer comes around, colonomics will be enjoying excursions all over the Brighton basin. You can call, just kidding.

The only trail they won't try it again is the McDonald's drive-thru. After that experience, I won't be blessing them with my presence ever again, Hatch. All right, said. I'm not loving it, he said. Oh, I say nay. Money on the table for not saying that. That's right. I say nay, it was also up there.

And that's it. I just love, now this is the last question I'll ask you and I don't really have an answer, but I'm curious to hear what you guys think. Do you think he knew this is probably not acceptable and I'm doing it anyway? No. I don't think he thought this is how it's going to go. You thought, hey, I go to the hardware store with this. Why can't I just go there? I think he thought it was funny.

Yes, or like, oh, I wonder what they'll think of this. Yes. It's on to me, too. But he didn't think it was not okay. The only, I think it's all irrational on the manager's part. I don't think it's irrational to say, hey, normally we can't let this happen. But there must have been an argument or that manager is even worse because you would go, hey, we understand you to know, you just can't do this again. But to go like, you did this to band without an argument, like without the guy pissing you off.

Right. Well, I mean, to me, if I were him, I would say to the manager, I'm from McDonald's corporate and you guys don't have any hitching posts outside. It all becomes like an ADA, like, ramp situation. It's like, you guys don't have any hitching post. Secret shopper. All of a sudden, I'm here. I will say. Undercover v.

And this is why I understand if they go, hey, we can't do this again. Do you, can you imagine the PR or insurance nightmare? If, God forbid, something spooked the horse and then someone hits the horses in the drive-through. Like, you would just be like, we would be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You would like, we're trying to avoid the exceptional worst-case scenario because it outweighs the likelihood of it even happening. But you look at that. drive-through and it's not like a tight

cover. No, no, we're not talking Sepulveda and Sherman Way. Yeah. I mean, there used to be McDonald's on sunset. Yeah. Oh, right. And Crescent Heights where you drove through a ton like indoors. It was like a tunnel. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Did they get rid of that? It's gone. That whole thing.

Those are like, those are sold that land. There's a McDonald's. You know, that's their big money, you know. California talk. There's a McDonald's at like Hollywood and Vine essentially. Yeah. Where you do, you end. up under the old arc light parking garage like going around. And there's so many, there's so many places in LA where you get fast food that you, once you're in, you are in, you might as well be in a submarine torpedo tube. Don't bring a horse pair into this situation.

More things I love when I'm back home in the Midwest where you're like, you can at any point decide you want out of this line. There's so many, there's so much space. You're like, I'm getting out of here. I have encouraged the people in Minneapolis to just expand the 62. Well, so Minneapolis has a lot of drive through liquor stores, you know, because of the West. and whatnot and so-called. Do you know that my whole, my childhood liquor store has been gentrified? What? You guys, yeah, yeah, they turned it into an ice cream shop.

And right next to my childhood liquor store was a gun shop that was owned by the same people. And that is now a coffee shop. So now, gentrification is a ride. Guns to coffee. No, you still get them. It's across the street to the bait shop. Okay, good, good, good. Just, you know.

There's both items shoot right through you. There's guns and liquor right across at the bait and tackle. Baton tackle. That's being changed too. All right, there goes. Story number one, down in the books, I thought that was a little fun one. Jackie Cation's with us.

When we come back, we will find out and tell you what we have going on. We got a couple more dates we just added. And find out about her special altercation. I can't wait. It's Dumb People Town with Jackie Cation. We'll be right back. Stick around.

Make us down. It's Dump People Town. Hey, gang, welcome back to the show. Before we get to Jackie, Jay, let's discuss what we have coming up. So we'll be at Moon Tower, comedy fest in Austin and April. I love it.

And then we have our big Netflix as a joke, tag it show that we're doing at UCB Theater. You've done it, you've done it. On Wednesday, May 6th at UCB Theater 9.30 p.m. on the show. Great people on the show. We're very excited about who's on it. We just added our friend Sheeds. She did this podcast with us.

She's on the show. Jenna Friedman, Morgan Jay, Ian Carmel. And Rob Hayes. It's going to be. a really nice, like, group of people, and I just think people will just enjoy the show. And that probably will sell out. I hope so. So that's that.

And then we just added some shows in the south. We're going back to kind of the area. We were in New Orleans, but we're going back. We're going to Mobile, Alabama, Lake Charles, Baton Rouge, and Lafayette, all of that. Join us at punchup. com. We put all our dates on there, and all that stuff is there. Just join.

Look up punchup. Live slash Sclar Brothers, and you can find all of our stuff. And then we just added San Francisco in June. Yes, San Francisco, June 19th, and 20th will be at Cobbs Comedy Club. Day weekend. Take your dads out and we'll make fun of your kids. That's it. This is your present to your dads. Like come see a set about a lot of stuff about being dads and it's just a wonderful weekend of comedy in San Francisco at one of my favorite clubs. And then also this is the biggest thing. We just dropped a don't tell set of comedy taping. Our episode or whatever you want to

call it, our special, our little mini special for Don't Tell is now out on YouTube. Go check it out. Watch it. Give it a positive comment. All that stuff helps us and moves along the line. We'll post clips on our social at Sklar Brothers, but definitely let's boost the numbers as much as we can on, I think, first weekend we got, I don't know how many views, but it's a start. It was super fun and we're really proud of it. We love how this. Those are always really cool. Yeah, it looks great. They did a great job editing. We feel really good about it. And it's a teaser for whatever our next special. Special will be. All right. Speaking of specials, Jackie Cache. Altercation, recorded the Siren Theater in Portland. Portland, Oregon, where I'm going to be this weekend,

actually. Which is Thursday, Friday. Okay. Someone got work. So I'm sliding into the helium Thursday, Friday this week. Fantastic. Yeah, you know, before, I just want to tell you, because I am booking a monthly now. Oh, nice.

At Geeky T's. You know, the board game store over at Burbank right here? Yes, yes. So they have a really big space. See, it's about 50. We've done two shows sold them out. All right, we'll do it. All right.

Well, the next one's Monday, and so you can't do that one. I would do this show in a heartbeat. Oh my God. It's got Ada Rodriguez and Aparna Ncherla and Helen Hong and myself and then a couple other comics. And it's, yeah, it's just 90 minutes and. So fun. Just comics telling you who they dated 11 years ago. It's called Thank Geeky It's Monday.

Thank geeky. I'm in Dumbtown. Third Monday of every month then? Or does it move? It might move, but once a month. Yeah, so it's April 20th. Wait, what is it? Are we in March?

March 23rd, so it's April 20th. Then it's May 25th or something like that. So it's Monday. Whatever you want us. But yet I'll definitely bring you guys in. We're down. We'd love to do it. Thank Kiki, it's Monday.

Thank Kiki it's Monday. And on the 23rd, it's that really cool show with Helen Tongue and Ida Rodriguez and a partner in Nigeria. I love it. All right. So talk about the special. Where can people watch it? So it's on YouTube.

Great. So Blonde Medicine. Love it. Dominic Delbine, one of the greatest people in the world. genuinely the best thing to come out of. I love him. Love him. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know that he, I mean, there's nine, there's nine stories. Yes. But the altercation, it's, I was going to call my last special altercation.

And then lockdown happened. Right. And so I went with staycation. Which is phenomenal. Which is ridiculous and silly. And the cover was a, was a, was, was, you know, remember the 3D glasses still shot? Yes. From the 50s? Yes. Everyone's looking at the movie theater and it's a shot of the audience.

I had an artist, Jeff Tice, also a comic from Denver. He's our guy. We put masks on everybody. And that's the cover of staycation, right? Looking up with masks on. Right. And 3D glasses. This one is altercation.

And it's because I'm angry. And it's how I, it's a lot of stuff about how I deal with anger. And so, but the cover is a play on the old Pogs cover. which everyone thinks it's an AI joke because it's altercation. Right. Oh, yeah. And so there's extra fingers on mycation. Ah, you get all the letters in.

To get all the letters in. And the Pogs had peace and love. Right. That's so great. That's so good. Yeah, so it's on YouTube now. You can go to my website, Jackiecation.com, or family pet ancestry.com,

which points to jackycation.com. Wow. Scuars. Why do you think I bought that? Because it's funny. Family pet. Yeah, that is funny. That is funny.

I like the idea of someone. going, did my cat come over on the Mayflower? Right. What is my cat's like full history? And can I solve three cold cases by going through this? If I get this, I know this. My dog, the golden state killer. FamilyState Pet Ancestry.com.

Is my dog eligible to join the dogs of the American? I own coldcasepetncestry.com. And I bought FamilyPet Ancestry.com before people did family pet ancestry. Oh, my God. Like it was, I feel like Cassandra. So it's a... Anyway.

So you want to get a... the numbers up. It's watch it. Please, this is, do yourself a favor. You'll be so grateful that we did this.

As you're mentioning that altercation, I do, vacation is your next one. No, but the, No, because staycation was the first one. I know, but you can do vacation.

You do this special in Hawaii. It depends. Ooh, I want to go to Hawaii. Okay. I was thinking either vindication or abdication. Yeah.

Abnication is great. Well, vindication and then comes abdication. It's one of those trilogies like the hit-checkers guy. It's a quintilogy.

Well, that is amazing, but altercation as well is the, there's the idea of alter ego. And so, like, I see you as, like, one of the nicest people that we know. So, yeah. To, to, the alter ego. Oh, it's weird about the rage.

Yeah. Because this, more than once, people have been like, well, you seem so nice. And I'm like, sadly, that's an illusion. It's the altercation. It's my altercation. It's my altercation. It's my alter ego. Right.

Right. Yeah. No, I've, it's just, I've worked on it a lot. It's like, you know, when you have like, you try to figure out how to, I would love to be angry at the right time to the right person to the right degree. How beautiful would that be? It doesn't happen often. No, no, it's a learned skill. Is this a gift from your father like down through the salesman anger?

My father, what my father likes to say, he says, you know why I like to vote for it, the underdog? Do you know why? And I was like, why? He said, plausible deniability. And I was like, you know what makes me not like you? This type of, this type of thought of us. No, come on. Don't do that. Don't do that. Come on now. Don't do that. All right. So altercation on YouTube or pet. It's do it well. And then it's going to be like you can buy it on band camp. But I was going to tell you, Dominic Delbenne. So I had an idea. One of the jokes is about how I'm so angry. I feel like I'm made of bees. And if you were to scratch me, bees would come out.

Right. And so I sell, I'm good merch, you guys. Made a bees. Beanie and shirts, whatever. But we made an enamel pin of the bees. But we made an enamel pin of the bees. that Jenny Fine. You remember Jenny Fine? Yeah. Yeah. She did the art. She's done an amazing art. So we made an enamel pin of the B and we attached it to the download card. And Dominic Del Pene at Blonde Medicine is putting all of them together. And all the money, since it's a download card, and we have essentially free, it's free to. Yeah. It's already recorded. It's already paid off. He paid for the pins. He paid for the pins. I bring them to, this week. Last week in Vermont. You sell them. Right.

And all of the money goes to help immigrant rights and food and rent and this stuff. I donated my first, sold to Gransworth this weekend at Vermont and Boston. Amazing. Amazing. Gave it to Vermont immigrant rights. How good does that feel to just like turning and check? It felt great. This is comedy did this.

Comedy did this. And, you know, a thousand bucks isn't a great deal of money, but it's more money than nothing. It's something. It all matters. Yeah. And this is why I'm saying, altercation. You're a nice person. The altercation gives the anger.

That's smart people town. I'm going to bring you guys back to dump people. Let's go back to dump people. This is sent it by Sean Amos. Dumb it up. At Sean 70. Judge D. Bones lawsuit over Buffalo Wild Wings menu item says case doesn't have legs.

I know what this is about. The big lawsuit. Are boneless wings? Wings. Chicken nuggets. Yes. Now, technically, yes, they are. But can you still call them boneless wings?

Am I right to it? Who cares? And are they shaped like a nugget? And also how awful. is your life that this is a problem for you. Okay. A federal judge rejected a lawsuit. This is in Chicago, Dan, W.TVC. Do you ever watch that? They got bigger fish to fry. They have bigger wings to fry. Take the bones out of that. That's correct. A federal judge rejected a lawsuit this week, rejected a lawsuit this week that claimed Buffalo Wild Wings misled customers by selling

boneless wings that are essentially chicken breast pieces. Lawsuit. Took it all the way to the courts. Wow. You know how all those people are complaining about not having bones in their stuff. And also that it's not a wing. Right. That people are like, oh, I wanted dark meat. Yeah. Was that it?

No, I wanted 30% of the meat that I'm eating to still be on the bone. Because that's the thing, too. I would understand in that scenario. Like if it was like, oh, it's, uh, I want you to make it out of thigh meat. Right. But you were giving you chicken breasts and you'd be like, well, that's different. But a wing is white meat. So, yeah.

So you're just, you're going. It's the same. It's the same part of the chicken. It's attached to that part of the chicken. I don't know if it's white meat. I've harmed a thousand chickens that I can't remember. If you order all white, like if you're, you'll get like a chicken breast and a wing. If you're going dark meat, you'll get a thigh and a leg.

I like this. But like, you got to order the chuck. But I'm saying they're not lying about the type of meat. Like I would understand if they were like, I didn't, I want a dark meat. You're actually giving me white meat. If you said it was horse meat from McDonald. Yeah. You'd be like, all right.

What a film was a on. Woman in here. It was a honics. Or Cole for that matter. The lawsuit was filed in 2023 by A.M.A.M.A.M. Amen. And Halim, an Illinois man who argued, oh, okay, who argued that the name boneless wings amounted to false advertising. Again. Because the product is not made from the actual chicken wing meat.

Haleem shot up to how much in damages. Oh, you're not damaged. You think this person. You are damaged. You are damage. But you didn't have. And damages. And ask the court to force the restaurant change to change.

I hope the judge was like, hey, man, your dad's not coming back. No, exactly. And either is your wife. Neither is she. The kids, you might be able to repair that, but you've done some. The kids will feel sorry for you and in 10 years they'll come around. 75 grand. And legal fees?

Yeah, I mean, and cover all my legal fees. It's got to be legal fees and a million. A million dollars. This is like coffee on the lap is what you're talking. Does Buffalo Wildlings, Jay hasn't gotten to this, do you think they have to counter sue? Because they had to pay lawyers for this. So that's almost why almost most people counter sue, right? is like, well, when we get found that this is ridiculous,

we have already countersued you to pay us for what we had to pay lawyers for this ridiculous lawsuit. Probably. I'm going to say, I'm going to say $250,000. If I was the defense lawyer for B-dubs. I don't know that you did. Okay. If I was a defense lawyer for B-dubs, I would-

Ban this bitch? Nope. One of my exhibits is I would bring in a bunch of boneless chicken breasts so that the jury could just taste them. You know who would do that? What was his name, Rosco? Whatever. Your honor.

Now I have brought him a minute different bonus. You eat these. Now your honor. I have, I have brought. I have brought.

What we have here. What we have. Here, Exhibit eight. I put it down. Now this has a bit of a zing to it. You guys are doing like the Wittahen. This is like this character was a real

character in a jumpy with Clark story. I think was Sigura. Did he say yes. It was Sigurra. Foghorn chicken leghorn is pretty game. Oh. Yeah. But it's foghorn leghorn.

It's like Witt a hen. Would you have the judge eat them and then go tell me you don't like this? Not the judge, the jury. Because then if the jury eats them, there is no way they're going to love it so much. There's no way they're going to be like, who cares? They're just going to be like, who cares? Thank God there's a snack during this interminable day. Right.

Thank you. But if you were in jury duty and they're like, here's some boneless wings that we're bringing you. You don't have to get lunch today because we're bringing it for you. Just want you to see what this guy is angry about. Like that. 75,000 according to you. One million according to you, 250,000 according to you. Get ready for this.

Ten million dollars. What? You weren't even eye enough. Ten million. No. Is that because he's doing it as a class action and or they would have to pay out so if you bought wings in the last two years? He's been damaged to the tune of ten million dollars, Dan, by the fact that it's not wing meat. You think John Taffer was an expert witness?

That seems. He's on hinge. He's on hinge. He's on hinge. What are you involved in these days? Well, you know, I've been a lawsuit. I got a lawsuit. I'm crossing fingers for 10 mil.

But the U.S. District Judge John J. Tharp, Jr., snobsting. John J. Tharp, Jr., sent him take it on the arches. We don't want to go to McDonald. Go to McDonald's. on J-Torpe Jr. J-J. J-J-J-T-J. What did J-J-T-J have to say about that?

W-W-W-J-T-J-T-J-J-T-J. I'll tell you what he did. J-J-J-T-Js. J-J-T-Js also sounds like a local wing place. That is competing. Now, they use real wing meat in that. Now, according to J-J-T-Js, all right, how long do you think his opinion? Like, how many pages?

Yeah. was his opinion on this. A quarter of a page. Yeah, paragraph and a half. I'll go two. A title page and the guys are low again. Ten pages. Oh, my God. Oh, the judge lost his mind. Yeah, he's like, you know, I'm not going to stop. I'm going to just keep going and talking about how you're wasting all the time.

I'm not going to allow you to shame you for a nine and a half page. And I'm not going to allow you to, you know, appeal this. Well, he said any reasonable customer would not be misled by the term boneless swings. He noted that the phrase has been widely used in the restaurant industry for more than two decades. is understood to describe chicken breast pieces, prepared like wings, not deboned chicken wheat. Words can have multiple meetings. Starp wrote pointing out the term buffalo wing

refers to the sauce rather than indicating buffalo meat. This guy's trying to embarrass him. Right, right. At this point, he added that the plaintiff did not drum up enough factual. There we go. That's stage three where he's just doing filler. Now he's doing. Yeah, this judge has family.

obligations he's trying to avoid. Stretch this opinion. Riding out as much as you can't. But I bet there are a lot of people who have never thought about it. They've never thought that a bonus wing, a chicken tender, and a chicken nugget are just variations of the same exact thing. Right, and they've lived full, happy lives.

A hundred percent. There's not something itching at them. They don't need damages. And they don't need to talk to Mr. Tharp. No. J. J.J. T.J. or his honor? His honor. The judge also noted that Buffalo Wild Wings offers menu items such

is cauliflower wings, which also does not contain actual wing meat. Which also don't fly. Yeah. Reinforcing his view that the termed boneless wing is not decept. Meanwhile, the plaintiff puts away their next lawsuit that I had ready to go. Flower wings. I guess I'm not suing for that. Halim alleged the boneless wings are more akin in composition to a chicken nugget

rather than a chicken wing and argued that he would not have bought them had he known what they actually were. fine you're telling me you would not have gotten him well you only eats wings he only eats wings here's the weird thing if you've ever had if you ever seen what's in an actual chicken nugget yeah right at macdonald so there's no there's very little chicken in there well there's right there's a space between the outer shell and a chicken nuggett that's got the song from yeah the space between no you're exactly right also the funny i don't know at hooters i know for a fact i don't know about buffalo wellings of course they will de bone the flats for you

So if you wanted boneless wings, you could order them. This just feels like forced birth technology. It's all women, right? They're like, we're going to make you take the bones out. Take the bones out and then drop it from a height. It's so uncomfortable. Into a ranch. Been at a lunch or dinner.

Into a ranch swimming pool. They come out with plastic gloves and they just stand at your table and debone along. Well, I'd like my wings debone table side. I mean, I always say it's like someone makes a season. I don't even want my guacamole on the table side. I know, I don't like the show. I don't want to go to a Korean restaurant

where I have to cook my own food. I go out for a very specific reason. You make it and bring it to me. That's it. From another place. I don't want to see the sausage get made. I literally don't want to see it. Now, what about a baked Alaska?

Someone comes out and lights that on fire. Are you cool with that? I don't mind you lighting things on fire in front of me. Right. That's entertainment. So Benny Hanna, out of the question, or does it fit? Jackie and with you 100.

I am still shocked. We went to a Benihana when I was like 15 or 16. It was supposed to be a big deal. Yeah. You mean was a big deal? And I genuinely like a seal. The guy's like, open your mouth. And I'm like, what?

Bam, into my throat. And I was like, if I never come back here again, we all win. Right. This is insane. You felt violated person. So you're all Fobachi? You're not a Habachi person to this thing? I love a habatch.

I don't even like that. What about a guy you Kakaku where you sit there and there's a little thing in the center and you put your own meat on? That's a shaboo shaboo. Shaboo, yeah. Yeah, that's the Korean. Yeah. At least the habachi you get some sort of. Wait,

let me to swear. And say that they can fuck itself. Yeah. Altercation. This is the attitude you're going to get on altercation. You didn't laugh at one of the Benihana guy's jokes. Do a new bit about this where you're like, you know what I don't want? I don't want a shrimp that's been on your fucking hat.

Run with this energy, Jackie. I want to see you work this. Alterate from Abbashi. It feels like Chris Fleming could turn it into an 11-minute fit. That would be amazing. You're like, I barely want to sit with the guy I came with, let alone to 11, eight other people. Right, this is literally, I mean, I think when people do this,

they don't want to go out to dinner with their family. No, they want to buffer. My kids love it. They want it for like birthday destination. Oh, for sure. They make a round hat at the end that they get. to wear it's like a whole thing. You come out, your clothes smell like that.

There's no smoking in restaurants anymore and bars. You come out smelling like flaming oil. Like a flaming oil. Yeah. It's unbelievable. Yeah. But I will admit. There's something about that in Banchure.

That fried rice just seems so much better than any other place. The onion volcano is still impressive. All right. I like your negativity towards it. I might have missed a window. No, no. No, I'm with you on most of it. You're right.

I don't mind a tableside Caesar at an old steakhouse because then usually the person doing it has been there for like 48 years and it will tell you some crazy stories. I'm just imagining 15-year-old you sitting next to your dad who's saying, you know how much aluminum siding I had to sell to pay for this dinner? Pay for this three houses worth. He's right. He's not psyched to be there either. Nancy Kation has dragged us there because she thought it might be fun. She'd get the family going again. I thought Nancy Kation was another one of your specials.

The Nancy Kation. of the world. The fancication. You know, the nansification. Gentrification. Gentrification. Gentrification. That's another one. There we go. All right. We're just coming with everyone. We're just firing them off. All right. In dismissing the lawsuit, Tharp said the plaintiff had standing, had standing because he plausibly alleged an economic injury, but he did not provide enough factual support to show that reasonable

consumers were confused by the menus, items, name itself. Haim has, or Halim has until March 20th to amend his complaint and try again, though the judge express doubt that he can offer additional facts to change that. There we go. Story two down in the books. Dan's got one more. We're going to do this. Jackie Cation's special.

Altercation. You got a little taste of it right here. Just a little taste of the attitude, which I love it. Benny Hottabit, you can come see it at... I call it Spiceycation is right here. And she's got it. And so I can't wait to see this special. It's on YouTube.

Go check that out. Dan's got one more story. Little one. Can you give us a little tease of what we're going to hear? Thematically fitting for our one. Wonderful guests. Perfect. I love it.

Sometimes it all aligns, rage bait. We'll be back at Jackie Cation and our last segment of Dump People Town. Stick around. Make a sound. Dunger Down is Dump People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Daniel, before we jump in and let people know where you're going to be and how they can catch you. Go to Danielvancurk.com.

I have so many dates in so many places. I don't want to rattle a while. I'll try to do the next coming up ones. It's New York, York, Pennsylvania, Allentown, North Liberty, Iowa. and then I just added Charlotte as well and Boca Raton late in the year, but there's so many dates at Daniel Vancirk.com, there's a great chance.

I'm coming somewhere near you. You can check out the Midnight Air, my overnight radio podcast that drops every week right here in all things, comedy. And I will be doing Netflix as a joke. My show is at 10 o'clock on the 6th of May. Go to Daniel Vancirk.com to get everything you need.

If you're at our show, leave our show and go see his show. For sure. 100%. All right. You guys ready? Yes. Local Habachi restaurant. I'm joking.

This was sent in by Josh Mowett, J-M-O-U-A-T. Thanks, buddy. Thank you, Josh. Battle Creek officer's Batman disguise fails to add levity to neighborhood dispute. Okay. It's like you're doing the... Really a vigilante who perpetrates violence isn't going to lighten the mood around the neighborhood? Or a little cop.

And it's an actual cop dressed in cosplay. We've got... too much of that. Betford. Cops play. Lean into the backstory. Both of your parents were murdered when you were a child.

That's not lighting the mood, anyone? And which generation of Batman did you go in? If you went to the 60s, Batman, I mean, the crazy thing is it was Lego Batman. Ultimate Batman. Just this with his hand. Yeah, fans are this. Bedford Township, a Battle Creek police sergeant's effort to add a bit of humor

by showing up to an ongoing neighborhood complaint in Bedford Township in a Batman mask. No your audience. Fell flat. No your audience. Is it Halloween? And just a mask.

Just a mask. Yes. No utility belt. Nothing. Nothing. No. What are your powers, Bruce Wayne? I know.

I lost my spot here. Let me come. Oh, here. I have the photo for you guys too. It is, I think it's as a bad call. Oh, I mean. Sure. This is the guy.

So it's not just the mask. It's the ears and over the top. Yeah, it's just the face part of the cowl. Right. Is all it. But it's just a man. He looks terrifying from jaw down. Yes.

You know, this is just like, what is happening? He's just like, let's have a little. It's a neighborhood dispute. The Batman mask is one gimp all away from being like a total domination setup. Oh yeah,

for sure. BDSM. In a recent video, a Battle Creek police sergeant, Chad Fickle, is shown wearing the Batman mask while responding to resident Justin Schatz, report of a complaint. Shots said he had repeated,

he's had. repeated confrontations with an individual attempting to deny his legal deeded access to his dock shots fired in wabascon lake so we got we got a dock fight we got a lock right daniel in wisconsin this is a michigan yeah it is michigan yeah it is michigan a dock fight people are very proprietary about their dogs it's real it's been going on to it is real and then all of a sudden weirdo batman shows yeah exactly not shots he can't do that shots no has documented his interactions with the individual and Battle Creek Police and a series of 50 plus videos

posted to his personal YouTube channel. He's crushing it, by the way. Yeah, but... What are his numbers? Yeah. He's got the ads on? Why are you mad? This is content.

If you're the victim, you live long enough to become the villain. Like 50 videos on YouTube. 50 videos. Don't make us do all that. Thank God Bill Hicks died when he was 32. Shots previously called Fickle a wannabe Batman. So in one of his videos,

Schatz calls this police officer a wannabe Batman. Oh. following a court hearing where he claimed fickle and another Battle Creek police officer testified against him during the hearing. So the guy, the cop, fickle, shows up in the Batman. Yes. In response to his YouTube thing. After

you labeled me as Batman in your last rant, I decided to bring some levity into the situation since you've made a mockery of the entire justice system. Wow. There is a DA who's going to go, fickle. Fickle? Just don't add anything to do this. We're now in a fickle. You've now

made it. This was ridiculous. because of them and now we are ridiculous because of us. Don't do this. We made this worse, right? Yeah. You don't egg them on. Yeah.

Police said fickles use of the mask served as an attempt to insert humor. Who wants that? Nobody. To any legal dispute. Hey, what kind of dispute is it? It's a legal dispute that could turn violent. Let's make it funny.

Yeah, the word you're looking for is de-escalate. Yes. Your humor is pissing more people off. Right. Defund the bat. And who, like, get some improv glasses. Thank you. Like, get, talk to a professional.

Oh, there's nothing worse than a prop comic in this scenario. Oh, my gosh. As much as we... Get your guitar out. Nothing safer than a guitar comic. As much as we value creative responses in all situations, sergeant's, well-intended action that there being nice, was done in poor judgment and was disappointing Battle Creek Police Chief Jim Blocker.

Jim Blocker. Jim Blocker. We got fickle and Blocker. The new Rosolian Isles. As with all police matters, or Batman and Robin. As with all police matters, his case was reviewed and will be addressed. That's story number three. Hey.

Joy number three. I love it. Jackie Cation, it's altercation. We love you. Go watch that special. We love you so much. I'm going to be in Germany, too, in April. I meant to say that.

I'm doing shows in Berlin. Okay, German listeners to this show, if you're in Berlin, go see Jackie. That's it. The third through the 11th, something like that. Just go to Jackie Cachian. I love it. Thank you. Thank you, Daniel.

Go see him. Thanks, guys. And oh, snap, we got to get back to work. Peace.