Dumb People Town - James Davis - Grounds For Divorce

Episode Date: August 26, 2025

Comedian James Davis (@theejamesdavis) stops by as Jason describes why a Greek woman filed for divorce based on Chat GPT's advice, Randy explains how a hangry Florida man destroyed a Del Taco drive th...ru after finding it closed, and Daniel warns against exposing yourself and pooping on the floor of a surf shop, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsors: Chewy, Monarch Money, Quince, and Hims! Right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to Chewy.com/DPT Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code DPT at monarchmoney.com in your browser for half off your first year. Keep it classic and  cool — with long-lasting staples from Quince. Go to Quince.com/DPT for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit Hims.com/DPT. 

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:01:47 And remember to use the code D-PT at checkout, save 20% that lets them know that we sent you, save 20% on your first order, and get that sleep and feel the way you're supposed to feel, mood.com Dan and Rand and Jay will share Tales of folk so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose The life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic bail in Florida
Starting point is 00:02:14 There's half-rise bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast band With co-host our man Dan Bender don't be a jerk Jay, you know what's the music is the we are going to take you down. Stick around.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Make a sound hunger down. It's don't people town. Jay, you know why I'm so excited that these guys are sponsoring our podcast. Chewy is who I'm talking about because I was already a Chewy user long before they ever started sponsoring our podcast. I got food from them. I got dog toys from them. I got dog beds from them. They have everything and I'm so excited they're a sponsor.
Starting point is 00:02:53 Well, Chewy does have everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. now you can save 20 bucks on your first order and get free shipping by going to chewy.com slash dbt that's chewy.com slash dpt to save $20 on your first order with free shipping minimum purchase required new customers only terms and conditions apply see site for complete details hey tony's welcome another episode of dumb people town population you population Davis James Davis the fourth where's my camera you got all you and me it's a two shot of the one I just Keep on looking at the monitor.
Starting point is 00:03:28 You're at two, dog. You're at two. Okay. It's the third, by the time. It's the third. Welcome, dude. So good to see you. As always.
Starting point is 00:03:34 Great to be back. Good to be back. And, you know, we live in a dumb world. We live in a dumb world. We saw you on stage at the laugh factory and you were killing us. It was so fun to see new stuff and the stuff that you're doing. Also, all the stuff you're posting online on your, because those clips just come through my feed. Like great, great crowd interaction.
Starting point is 00:03:52 It's missing a lot of people's feeds, but I'm glad. It's catching my feed. It's catching you guys as feed. that's what we say we're missing a lot of people's feeds in terms of that's our that is the knock on our comedy all right but well here's the deal this is going to get everyone's feed because this is ridiculous this is our story number one sent in by kyle andrews at late night nachos here's the headline i this is what i need you guys to do and i need you guys to tell me if when you hear this okay is this a real story or is it not okay i i honestly can't tell what comedy will be real
Starting point is 00:04:21 dan's bs meter is pretty good on this stuff and okay isn't that the question every day Is this real? Is this real? What is you ever walking to a waffle house and you're like, is this real? Dan, what are you going to say? I saw the newest version of AI and I'm like, oh, we're done. We're done. Because I can't tell now.
Starting point is 00:04:39 Yeah, I am. I'm just angry. Well, what, to what end? Okay, here we go. In a bizarre mix of old traditions in cutting edge tech, a Greek woman has reportedly filed for divorce after asking chat GPT to quote unquote read her husband. Greek coffee cup and receiving an answer she took very seriously. That's the headline.
Starting point is 00:05:03 I already hate the headline. Did AI come up with this headline? You know it's crazy? I actually heard about this still. Okay. So I know it's real. Okay. So wait, let me see if I under.
Starting point is 00:05:14 She's just looking for a way out. Yeah. Dan, you're right. Give me any. Give me any way out on this. Well, the fortune cookie said I'd be happier with a big change. Right. I'm pretty sure we got to get a divorce.
Starting point is 00:05:23 Listen, I read my horoscope and then just after that I hear. the first one I read I didn't like but then I read another month's horoscope and I was like that probably I saw a hummingbird that flew by and that was my dead aunt and then she shit on the windshield so we got to get divorced
Starting point is 00:05:37 why not ask AI how to fix the marriage afterwards you know if you're so dependent on AI bring them into counsel exactly let's do some AI marriage counseling did you hear about the like engineers they created like this fake account and all this stuff and all these emails
Starting point is 00:05:54 and within the emails they embeds They embedded that two of the people in the email were having an affair. And so they asked it to like learn everything about this company and like how to do the job. And then they told the AI that they were going to shut it down. And the AI said, if you try to shut me down, I will email your wife and say that you're having an affair. No. Like it leveraged the knowledge that it had against the people. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:06:20 To try to prevent that from. Don't tell me that, Dave. That's the first step of I robot right there. Yeah. This is 2001 of Space Odyssey. I'm afraid I can't do that. But if we know that this is a possibility, then aren't people who are cheating going to now use that as an excuse if someone reaches out to their wife and says that. Right before it kills us all.
Starting point is 00:06:38 That's not anyone I knew. AI tried. And I don't mean Allison Inverness. I mean AI. She is cool. Alan Iverston. Okay, here we go. The woman married.
Starting point is 00:06:50 You know there's an Alan Iversston out there. Yeah. And he's always correct. decent crossover you know what i mean he's not great he's not really the iverston okay tom cruz uh here we go the woman and she was made i'm not going to tell you how long she was married uh and mother of two turn to the a i chat bot and developed by open ai asking it to interpret the coffee grounds in a photo of her husband's cup a modern twist on the age old art of reading the tea leaf tasography yeah yeah it's coffee yeah coffee grind reading well wait so he's got
Starting point is 00:07:25 First of all, why do you have coffee grounds in your cup? Well, she takes a picture of his cup, I guess, when it's finished, whatever is left in the thing. And he, and you can tell if he's been cheating. You can tell if he's been cheating. So this is a non-AI just thing people do is read. Correct. Read the tea leaves. Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:40 Crazy. This is, this is dumb. This is crazy. Already dumb without chat, GPD being involved, but now it's dumb. It's dumb enough to be its own cafe in Los Angeles. That's not. Just reading the tea leaf. AI should have been like, girl, please.
Starting point is 00:07:53 That's right. that's how I know I get to the air level then I'm like all right we're dead when AI rejects your request because it's like too stupid okay here we go too stupid the result chatGBT allegedly told her that her husband was having an affair dan a member like those that a i mentioned with a younger woman who was determined to tear their family apart from coffee grounds just from coffee grounds taking the AI's mystical reading at face value she immediately initiated divorce proceedings could there have been like a young person's lipstick on the corner of the cuff and like a i'm reading the tea leaves um you just have a i run like a seance that's right a i talk to dead relatives oh my god appearing on the
Starting point is 00:08:34 greek morning show uh that's so greek proino it's all greek to me it's all greek to me the greek of the week are greeking it out you know that they say that on a set when they're trying to like get rid of a label Everyone's working. So they would just turn me to Greek letters. We're going to Greek it out. What are they doing Greece? Everyone's working for the Greek end. Stop, Dan.
Starting point is 00:08:56 The bewildered husband recounted the incident. So the husband goes on, now he's on the morning show. Oh, yeah. Bewildered. She's often into trendy things, which is his way of saying, this bitch. Dumb as hell. Dumb as hell. We'll believe anything.
Starting point is 00:09:09 We'll believe anything that comes along. He said one day she made us Greek coffee and thought it would be fun to take pictures of the cup and have chat GPT read them. Dude, this is like trying to catch a celio killer and, like, waiting for him to drop the cup and then, like, 12 federations. Would this be fun? She said, before she headed into a divorce? The result, according to the chatbot, his cup revealed a mysterious woman with the initial E that he was supposedly fantasizing about and with whom he was destined to begin a relationship. So he's not even in the relationship.
Starting point is 00:09:39 But if they get divorced and then he starts dating someone new, this all came to fruition. She just put it into motion. She just manifested. This is minority report. Yes. She's going like this. In the air. Wait.
Starting point is 00:09:54 Have you been in a relationship where the person's had a dream about you cheating and then says, and like you cheated on me in the dream? And even if they're not saying you did it, they are explaining explicitly what you did. And then you do have to defend your actions in the dream. Yeah. No, because the dream has emotionally affected them as if. Correct. If you got to take it happened.
Starting point is 00:10:12 Yeah. Maybe maybe. You know I wouldn't. Like you have to really. I have to reassure you that what didn't happen. won't happen. We'll never happen. Baby, that was dream me. Exactly. I had a dream last week that I did this.
Starting point is 00:10:23 I almost apologized, but I'm not stupid. By the way, you know the same shit happened to Martin Luther King. I had a dream. I had a dream, but I'm not sharing that dream. Corretta had a dream too. That's right. I love it. He was with a lot of people. Corretto was like, you was like, listen, your dream can be real once you hear my dream. I couldn't have done what it was in your dream because I was way too busy having my And worrying about what was going on.
Starting point is 00:10:49 She could see the future. Don't judge me. All right, here we go. He was destined to have relationship, so not in it with. His wife's cup, on the other hand, painted a much darker picture that he was already cheating and the other woman wanted to destroy their home. So this is her cup. She can tell all that from her cup.
Starting point is 00:11:08 So off his cup, it's going to happen. There's two cups being examined? Yeah. Okay. Off his cup, it might happen. But by the way, it's happening already. This is a great test that if your wife is willing to do this to catch you in something, get out. Go.
Starting point is 00:11:24 There you go. Right. That tells you all you need to know. Based on her cup, she wanted this to happen. She wants it to happen. This is your cup. You're manifesting. Right.
Starting point is 00:11:32 This is your cup. Your grounds. This is on her vision board. All right, here we go. I laughed it off. I'm on shaky grounds. Grounds for divorce. Objection on the ground of the grounds.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Damn. This is a wild. You hear about this one, Ed? And that is, yes, yeah, we are. All right. Grounds for divorce. I laughed it off as nonsense, the husband said, but she took it seriously. She asked me to leave, told our kids we were getting divorced, and then I got a call from a lawyer.
Starting point is 00:12:02 That's when I realized this wasn't just a phase. Oh, my God. This woman. This woman. I mean, I know Greek people are emotional. I don't want to blame the victim here, because she was cheated on in a dream. Yeah. the kids have to be like very young because if not and they're like what happened and like their mom's like well he started with this coffee thing right the kids back cool I'm gonna live with that I'm exactly you're cuckoo I'll see you on a couple of holiday weekends every other weekend yeah when he refused to agree to a mutual separation he was formally served with divorce papers just three days later the husband also noted that this wasn't the first time his wife had fallen under the spell of supernatural gun why are you staying with this person if this is your friend James if this is a
Starting point is 00:12:44 your friend you're like get out got to go no not at all i'd be like let this play out he's they're gonna end up without her anyway i know for divorce i'd be like cool man just ride it out write it out i don't i'd be like you got to leave because your girl is way more loyal to magic yeah than reality it's right can't be like this can't be all based on like a tea leaf she took it seriously uh a few years ago she visited an astrologer and it took a whole year for her to accept that none of it was real oh my astrology is a gateway magic that is that's marijuana It's the marijuana of magic. That's right.
Starting point is 00:13:17 Greece is an Oracle culture. Thank you. Thank you. See? Look at what he said. To Mount Olympus. How about a little Socratic method and like ask some questions? All right.
Starting point is 00:13:27 His lawyer emphasized that the claims made by AI chatbot have no legal standing and stress that the husband is innocent until proven otherwise. Of course. I mean, I don't know how Greek courts work. I don't know how Oracle law works. Meanwhile. seasoned coffee readers have weighed in, noting that real tassography involves much more than just the ground.
Starting point is 00:13:51 So now you've got the coffee. They're worried that AI chatbot's going to take their job. The internet coffee sleuth. Yeah, but they're like, guys, this is... Chatbot can't do what we do. What we do is more involved. You can't just read the grounds. That's the whole point of AI.
Starting point is 00:14:07 That's right. You know, it can't write your whole script. It can just someone to just bounce some ideas off. Although you imagine if he is cheating what that... That must have felt like when chat GPT nailed it. Like, he'd have been like, but he can't tell anyone how good the AI's got because he'd have to admit. He randomly becomes their biggest investor.
Starting point is 00:14:27 Dude, he invested. He just mortgages everything and puts it into AI. He's like, listen, you guys don't get it. I'd rather give it all to you than half to her. That's good. That's what we got. Tag it. Tag it.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Tag it. We're going to get out of here on this. All right. How long were they married? How long was this guy married to this woman? Putting up with a year's worth of astrology. We've gone through two eras of magic infidelity. Yeah, that took its own year.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Yeah, that was his own year. And they have two kids. And they have two kids. But I like the point you pointed out, that's a good clue that they've got to be young enough to not realize how stupid she. Right. How crazy she is? Sure. I think how old is she?
Starting point is 00:15:07 No, how many years have they been married? We'll get out of here. I may have been married for 14 years. That's a nice kid. I'm going to go nine years. One dollar. No. No, seven. Seven years.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Get your answers in. Next story up is going to be, Randy. 12 years. Oh. You're all dancing around it. Even Saturday. All right. We come back.
Starting point is 00:15:30 We're going to tell you what James Davis has going on, how you can follow him, how you can watch him live and all that stuff. And us too. This is Don't People Town with the great James Davis. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound.
Starting point is 00:15:42 There's more. Don't people. Hey guys, welcome back to the show Before we get into James Davis And how you can follow him And see him and watch all of his stuff We got to tell you what we have going to. July 11th, we're going to be in
Starting point is 00:15:55 Dallas, Texas At Hyena's downtown, one of our favorite club. One night, probably two shows that night Hopefully we'll sell it out and do two And then we're going to be in Houston at the secret group the next night. We know it's summertime. It's hot in Houston.
Starting point is 00:16:07 You want to get indoors in the air conditioning And just hang with us, Dallas two. And then the next we might. Wait, is that on the 12th? It's on the 12th of July. 12th of July. It's a Saturday night. That is correct.
Starting point is 00:16:19 That's Saturday night. And then we may be doing the stateside theater in Austin either August 1st or we'll do it in September and September 18th or the 20th. But in the middle of August we'll be a desert, Desert Ridge, which is C.B. Live in Phoenix. Can't wait to do that. Supersclorys.com for everything. We'll let you know what other stuff we have going on. James. How can people see you?
Starting point is 00:16:42 How can people support? So I'm going to be in Michigan, somewhere in Michigan. This is going to be a vague promo. Okay, vague promo. Vague promo, but, you know, always first follow me at the James Davis. That's right. TikTok, IG. But, yeah, somewhere in Michigan, mid-July.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Great. Then we're doing Nate Jackson's Comedy Club, Super Funny Comedy Club in Seattle, July 18th. Nice. Through the 20th. Great. Shooting something in Brooklyn on June 12th, you can't make that. live show. But it will be available for you to see by the time this comes out. Is it a special
Starting point is 00:17:19 of sorts? Well, here, what's a special? I, exactly. It's a, it's a tape set that I care about. Thank you. That's what I like to call. It's a snapshot in time. Yeah, exactly. You're doing. My, my thing right now is I'm just going to drop longer sets and not so much like the whole hour thing. Great. Yeah, I love this. Just mixed tapes. Uh, do it's a mixed tape. EPs. Yeah, baby. EPs, dude, six tracks. Comedy EP. Comedy E.P. What a great idea. I love it. All right, I'm going to jump into this story.
Starting point is 00:17:46 So follow him. The James Davis. The E. James Davis. The E. Dave. Exactly. All right. You ready for this? Here we go. This was sent in by Larissa at That Girl, GRL on the wall. You ready? Nothing could get between hangary Florida man and late night Del Taco. Fair enough. I don't see anything wrong with this. If an angry person in Florida wants to do anything, you let him. Yeah, you're not going to get in between.
Starting point is 00:18:11 Question. I like to ask people who live in L.A. Last time you had Del Taco. And it feels like a Southern California thing. Am I right? Yeah, it is. When's the last time you had Del Taco? Talk to me, James. Within two weeks.
Starting point is 00:18:23 Oh, good call. Over Taco Bell. I think Del Taco gets slept on. See, when I visit my- People just forget about it. Yeah. They forget about that. They also forget about El Pollo Loco.
Starting point is 00:18:32 There's less guilt. There's less guilt that follows Del Taco than Taco Bell. What is your order there? Co-sign. What is your order there? Regionally corporate. I'm for sure getting a chicken soft taco. You have to.
Starting point is 00:18:46 Have to. And then sometimes I might get a little party taco. What's a party taco? Is there smaller than normal, hard shale? Hard shell. Hard shell. It comes with ground beef and ground cocaine. I do a party taco.
Starting point is 00:19:01 I get an extra bump on that. Man, I'm feeling great. If the whole taco fits in your fingernail. That's why they're open 24 hours. And that's why there are so many new franchises after someone eats them. I asked because for me it's been too long. I bet it's been years. It's been a while years.
Starting point is 00:19:17 We ate the hard tacos from there. Do we go to Taco Bell reason? We went there like. You know what else I'm fucking with in L.A that people sleep on? Your face is like, no. Waba. Waba grill. Waba?
Starting point is 00:19:28 Haven't been there in a while. I love a good Waba grill. They just started doing tacos too. Waba. No, but you know where I went? That was insane. What? Now that we're getting into food, I went to Howl and Rays.
Starting point is 00:19:41 The chicken tenders in Holland Rays are like whole chickens Each tender is a whole chicken Yeah, you gave me one It was so good And I didn't get that spicy My son got spicier But like let's go
Starting point is 00:19:53 That was so good I mean I think that's like The new thing is like And Austin foretold this Years a couple of years ago Everything was a chicken spot Everything was a chicken spot Everything was such good chicken chicken salmon
Starting point is 00:20:06 I'm sorry I'd derail us God why'd you do this to me? I'm so hungry now Florida man A Florida man's craving for Taco turned into violence. Of course. When he was denied tacos after midnight.
Starting point is 00:20:16 And we low-key get it. That's what they said. In today's episode of Florida Man versus Fast Food, I love this. See, okay, there are ways to write these articles. The New York Post does it the bad way. They want to punt out on everything and you're like, stop, stop. I like these people right here. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:20:32 All right. A hungry guy's late night taco craving escalated into a full-blown window smashing fiesta. Don't do that. Is it a fiesta? It's not a siesta. It's a window smashing fiesta. Minus the fiesta. I like these games.
Starting point is 00:20:47 I like them. Okay. And definitely minus the tacos. I like these people. According to NBC affiliate, Gulf Coast News, a man named Anthony Izzo, A to the Izzo, D to the Taco. Tom. D to the taco. You see the first basement for the Cubs when they won the World Series?
Starting point is 00:21:01 No, he's the coach of Michigan State. Tom iso. That's right. Rolled into Del Taco drive-thru in a, you want to know what he was rolling up in. Golf cart. Please say golf cart. I want it to know a much more pimped out mobile. Cadillac convertible.
Starting point is 00:21:16 Ooh. Come on. CTV. Cinematic. In parentheses, they say he has style in Port Charlotte, Florida. Just past midnight, ready to feast like a king. Unfortunately, his timing was less than ideal. After attempting to order how many tacos?
Starting point is 00:21:30 How many does this do you order? And he's got a Cadillac. Caddy. Ten? Ten, what do you think? I'm going to go. You go. Seven.
Starting point is 00:21:38 Okay. I go six. Get your answer. in town he's not much four four tacos all right the employees six guys one for the road three for home in four him the restaurant was closed the kitchen had been shut down and most tragically the meat had been put away i mean there is something infuriating about a place that's supposed i'm not saying they're that you see people in it but i'm just saying if their hours are open and they're not it it it it does mistake dail taco for taco bell like just roll up and they're just like
Starting point is 00:22:09 I'm gonna go to Taco Bell here and it's like it's not Taco Bell Taco Bell's open late late late late Yeah they're usually at least one if not But to your point the worst is when you see somebody Inside just kind of walking around Turn the lights out and do it It's like when you go to a story like can I go to the bathroom
Starting point is 00:22:23 They're like we don't have one like bitch Where do you do? Where do you do? Where do you go? Take me to the part of the alley where you go Eventually it was not just any meat It was taco meat the sacred season substance of late night dreams I love these people
Starting point is 00:22:40 This person wants out of this job Instead of gracefully accepting defeat And maybe hitting up a nearby Waffle House Like any reasonable Floridian Izzo allegedly chose violence Yeah if you're gonna choose violence anyway Just go straight to a waffle arm
Starting point is 00:22:52 They're ready to fight Have you been in a Waffle House Recently? No in your life Oh for sure There's certain places like I'm gonna If there's a Waffle House nearby I'm gonna go I love Waffle House.
Starting point is 00:23:05 Dan has a new, like, chunk on a Waffle. 10 minutes, 15 minute bit. It's story of him at a Waffle House, which is the most Waffle House. To me, that's the most quintessential Waffle House, like it should be, the whole story should be transcribed and written on the Waffle House crest.
Starting point is 00:23:22 Should be on the menu of every Waffle House is your bit transcribed. Pekon Waffle, that's all the same, man. That sounds so good right now. All right. So, according to Charlotte, the Charlotte County, Sheriff's Office. After being denied his midnight munchies, he reportedly retrieved a pipe wrench
Starting point is 00:23:39 or some other heavy object from his vehicle. That's too fast. Dude, if you got a Cadillac with a pipe wrench, you're ready to go. You're looking for a fight. You love Goodfellas. It's like something criminal went wrong to put him in a mood. That's right. And he wanted the Del Taco to put him in a better mood. And they failed him too. And he got back in the mood. Down turned even further and delivered four blows to the window in protest, cracking the glass and shocking employees. Yeah. Witnesses say the sound resembled gunfire,
Starting point is 00:24:10 which is not typically the soundtrack of a taco run gone wrong. No shit. One terrified employee called 911, unsure whether to report a break-in or an audition for the next Fast and Furious. Is this real? This is real. Fast 10 taco tantrum. They put a title on this thing.
Starting point is 00:24:28 I mean, The worst thing ever, it should, I'll say this the rest of my life. It should have been fast tenure seat belts. That's what, that's, uh, Doug Benson. Oh, just, you know, maybe that's probably where I'm like that. I guarantee I heard him. Fast 10 year seatbelt. But after they did fast, shout up Doug Benson.
Starting point is 00:24:42 Fast 10 taco tantrum in parentheses, the writer said, okay, I'm done. So like, knows the limit. Yes. Person sending in a packet to Colbert. Is it, right. Iso then fled the scene in his convertible like a bandit, but the Charlotte County Sheriff's office tracked him down at his home in, In Birchkrest Road, he was then arrested for criminal mischief, all because he was, quote, hungry.
Starting point is 00:25:05 Damage to the window is estimated at how much. Well, we all agree he's not mad at them. No, he's not trying to hurt people. No, I'm saying, if you go from we're closed to breaking the window, like you said, you're already mad about something else. You're mad about something else. This is a she... Sometimes you've got to suck it up, drive yourself over to the gas station, get yourself a couple of rollers. Right.
Starting point is 00:25:25 Get a couple of rollers. Nobody's happy about it. They're not even happy to be selling them. Nope. They're, they're, are you talking about the hot dogs? Dan, you buy a hot dog at a gas station and every single employee will say
Starting point is 00:25:38 if they have a conscience. Are you sure? They make you, they make you justify. Unless it's a quick trip. The greatest gas station. Even still, they'll like look at you for a second. Or they'll look at you while they're putting it in there like, this is where we're at.
Starting point is 00:25:51 Or the thing is behind them and they're watching you the whole time. They're not even looking at the process. change slow and they go it's gonna be alright i'm praying for you no or i'm so sorry exactly i'm sorry for your loss i don't know what they'd say in that end so how much damage was done to the drive-thru window monetarily you're gonna go first in american dollars i'm not i i don't know window finances so i'm just going to throw three thousand dollars i love that because i was going to say 3200 so i'm glad i defer to you i'll go i'll go $2,200 okay 1275 okay one of you is $200 off Oh, 14-7.
Starting point is 00:26:28 A thousand bucks. A thousand. It was a thousand bucks? No, $200 off. Dan, you did $2,200. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I said it $1,200. I thought he said $3,200. I was like, $1,000.
Starting point is 00:26:39 I'm going to say $1,000. It's $2,000 worth the damage for this thing. And whoever wrote this goddamn article, oh, I'll give you the, I'm going to give credit to the writer, Nicole Lopez-Alvar. Hey, in L.A.? No, I think it's Florida. No, I was saying her initials. Oh, yeah. N-L-A.
Starting point is 00:26:59 N-L-A. She's in L-A. I love this. I love this story. I love that it did not end in someone getting hurt. It's just a del taco thing. And then that's it. And no one got divorced because of what the cracks in the window told them.
Starting point is 00:27:13 Chat G-P-T. Hey, man. Crack the window, don't do crack. How about that? I'm still mad at the employees who were just there the whole time. They were like, oh, they were afraid. They called 911. You could have just made a taco.
Starting point is 00:27:23 Make one taco. And slide it through the time. Make four and just be like, a hostage taco. Like, here, here, here, take two tacos, sir. A thin one under, like you open it just a little bit. We'll give you two tacos if you leave right now. Just leave. Just for free. Two tacos for free.
Starting point is 00:27:37 For free? And we'll just say they fell on the floor. Yeah. Although I did walk into Chapolet recently. An hour before they closed. And they go, hey, just so you know, we don't have chicken, we don't have lettuce and we don't have rice. What do you? And I go.
Starting point is 00:27:50 Are you just a waiting room? Do you want me to lock? Just go, lock the door on my way out? What are you even doing? Did you really say that to them? Because they have steak? Is that why? I don't know what they.
Starting point is 00:28:00 I guess they could have just done tacos. Yeah. I said, you won't quite. I go, I go. I go. Casadilla. I'll, I'll, you're out all that? And they were like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:08 They looked to me like, what are you going to do? And I'm like, I don't work here. And then I go, well, good luck with tomorrow. And they go, oh, we got stuff for tomorrow. I go, so probably should have used that for today. You could use that now? I don't. And I don't know.
Starting point is 00:28:19 And also, like, they're just trying to get through their own ship. It's not their fault. Yes, I know. You cannot open the lettuce today that is for tomorrow. I would have been, but I was. You lying to me? Are you lying to me right now? I couldn't.
Starting point is 00:28:33 And I go, open that lettuce up. Take me to the back. You know what he's? On the way out, I go, I go, man, I'm so frustrated, but okay. And then he goes, I mean, you could go to a different Chipotle. And then I love when people tell you things that you know, obviously I could go. But also, based on this experience, should I go to another Chipotle? They won't like.
Starting point is 00:28:53 An hour before they closed. So, Dan, tell me you walked on. And each of the tables picked up a little hot sauce and left. Yeah, I took all their bottles. All their tiny little tobasasas. Green pepper sauce. You can take it. I was so mad.
Starting point is 00:29:04 All right, there you go. That is story number two. All right, Dan, tease us a little three and... Yeah, what do we got on a story? We got bad news at the Treasure Island. Oh, God. Bad news of Treasure Island. We'll find out what Dan has going on.
Starting point is 00:29:15 The actual island? Maybe. James Davis is with us. Emotionally. I'm so happy. It's no people telling them right now. Stick around. Make us down.
Starting point is 00:29:25 There's more. Jay, how's your doggy doing? I know you're watching your in-laws dog. Well, it is my dog now. Okay. We are taking this dog. Take this dog. She is so wonderful and she brings so much joy to my kids.
Starting point is 00:29:39 She does for you, but are you trying to be the pet owner that you think she wants? Well, now I just took her to the vet the other day. I'm like, this is like my baby. We care about her and we want her to be happy and healthy. And that ties riding. You're Googling things like dogs eat watermelon, can they? And you're like, yeah. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Okay, let's get a watermelon for this dog. Let's do that. Let's do this. Let's get a good chew toy. Let's get a good frisbee. I want the, so this dog needs to run around a little bit. Can I feel the ribs when I'm grabbing the dog by the side? I want it to be in shape.
Starting point is 00:30:07 Let's talk about chewy because I love them so much. I love them. As temperatures rise, so do the risk of fleas and ticks. Look at that. Yeah. Even for indoor pets, these pests can spread through other animals, visits to the groomer of the vet. I was just at the vet. And even hitch a ride on humans, you know, Chewy cares a wide range of vet recommended
Starting point is 00:30:25 fleet and tick medications to help protect your pet year round i just love it but customer support is available so the auto ship can i just talk about the fact that i have my food that i have the dry food that i get from my dogs and the wet food that i have on auto ship from them so i just know as it goes down i'm like wait there's a moment where i'm like we need to order oh no it's coming then it comes because chewy's got you on the auto ship so they got extra device always on hand they have 100% satisfaction guarantee they got all the toys dog beds cat trees all the things you need to take care of your dog and cat tree sounds like an indie rock man i'm going to say this chui has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy and right now you can save $20 on your
Starting point is 00:31:05 first order and get free shipping by going to chewy dot com slash dpt that's chewy dot com slash dpt to save $20 on your first order with free shipping chui dot com slash dpt minimum purchase required new customers only terms and conditions apply see site for complete details do it let's talk quickly about finances. It's something that people don't want to really talk about, but I'm telling you as a guy who just dropped both of my daughters off at college, I need to know
Starting point is 00:31:33 how much we have, where it is, the 529s, what they're a consequence. And sometimes that's a daunting thing, is just finding everything and knowing what you got. For separate places, well, with Monarch money, I love these guys. I love that they're sponsoring us.
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Starting point is 00:32:22 And again, I was able to, my stuff was in a bunch of different places, put it all together and see what I had. And it's just Monarch, it's just built for people with busy lives like us. And our lives are all over the place. Right. So this is the perfect thing for me. If you've put off organizing your finances, monarch is for you. It does the heavy lifting, link all your accounts in minutes and get a clear data visual smart categorization. Well, it also helps you make decisions moving forward.
Starting point is 00:32:49 If you're like, okay, this is what we got, then we can calm down. Or, hey, we need to work a little bit harder now. We need to get this number up. Those are the things that you, the big questions that you can answer in your life, this helps you get there. So, you know, when you're making money, it's sometimes you can leave money on the table. Don't leave money on the table like that. It's easy to get complacent. You don't need to track every dollar, but ignoring your finances entirely, it can actually cost you money.
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Starting point is 00:33:27 Heard of them. So I just think it's really important, especially for couples who are trying to manage their money. That can sometimes be the hardest thing. So here's what I want you to do. I want everyone to try this because it is really cool. It's simple. Don't let financial opportunities slip through the cracks.
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Starting point is 00:34:02 High quality fabrics, classic fits and lightweight layers for warm weather, all at prices that make sense. Everything that I've ordered from Quince fits right in with all my other clothes. And I love clothes. High quality stuff. It's been nothing but solid. Yeah, Quince has the closet staples
Starting point is 00:34:17 that you want to reach for over and over, like cozy cashmere and cotton sweaters from just 50 bucks, breathable flow-knit polos and comfortable lightweight pants that somehow work for both weekend and dress-up dinners. The best part, everything with Quince
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Starting point is 00:34:42 and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. So I got these linen, like sort of olive green linen shorts, and I was just on a trip back east, and it's so funny, I brought so many shorts. You always overpack, and the things I kept reaching for over and over again were the quaint shorts. They were the most comfortable. They were looked cool with everything. They were casual. I could just wear them out as I was walking around with a T-shirt, and I wore them to nicer dinners and stuff.
Starting point is 00:35:10 So I just loved it, and I got actually a linen, a white linen shirt. I've never had just a white linen shirt, buttoned down, shortsy shirt. 39 bucks i mean i couldn't believe and again the quality burnt orange over shirt that i really it's so good i highly recommend everyone check it out you'll find great pieces for yourself and again shorts button down linen shirts for you for you for i got a pair of golf pants for my son yeah and he wears them and he loves him a kid who's picky about clothes yeah he's very big of all right so keep it classic and cool with long lasting staples from quince go to quince dot com slash dbt for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns that
Starting point is 00:35:47 That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash D-P-T to get free shipping and 365-day returns, quince.com slash D-P-T. Boom. All right, guys, hymns can't solve snoring or blanket stealing. I don't know if anyone can do that. But when it comes to performance, they got you covered. Take control of ED with personalized treatments made with proven ingredients prescribed by licensed providers 100% online, Dan.
Starting point is 00:36:14 Yeah. Through Hymns, you can access personalized prescription treatment. options for ED like Hardmints and Sex RX Plus Climax Control if prescribed. It's a stressful time. Give yourself the ability to go, you know what? I'm going to stop worrying about this, stressing about this. I'm going to give myself more satisfaction and stress-free experience in the bedroom. This is what Hymns is for, guys.
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Starting point is 00:37:27 stick around make us down there's more don't people town hey gang welcome back to the show before we jump in Daniel tell what July 10th I'll be at the thrasher opera house in Green Lake Wisconsin hey now that's that's a big like lake tourist Wisconsin town So tickets are going to go really fast forward if it's not already sold out by the time. That's going to be fun. So jump on that, Daniel Mancirk.com. And then that following week, the 15th through the 19th, it's Hub City Comedy Week,
Starting point is 00:37:58 my own week of shows where I get to pretend I live in Chicago again in the summer, which is the best. That's all going to be at the Lincoln Lodge. Great different shows every single night. Check it out. And then at the end of the month, on the 24th, I'll be in Dayton, Kentucky at the Commonwealth Sanctuary, and then across the river in Cincinnati on that weekend at the Comet. and then I'll be in Portland, Oregon.
Starting point is 00:38:19 I'll be in Boston, Massachusetts. Other stuff I'm already forgetting. It's happening in August. And then September, Northern California and New Orleans. So go to Daniel Van Kirk.com and listen to my podcast, The Midnight Air. It drops every single Monday right here on all things. You want to know what the best bread is in the world? I'm ranking bread.
Starting point is 00:38:36 I'll give it the top 10. Rankin' bread. Okay. Ready for this? Set in by Ace of Finance at Dragon ILM. Thank you. Florida man exposes himself. Should stop there, right?
Starting point is 00:38:47 Nope, defecates in Treasure Island Surf Shop. Oh, I know. Which I guess it's just one of these, like... Is that Disneyland? Or no. Did he ask you where... He might have asked you have a bathroom. No.
Starting point is 00:38:59 And they're like, we don't. A Treasure Island Surf Shop had quite a mess to clean up. Oh, God. After police say a Lakeland man defecated on its floor and used a shirt to wipe it up. Oh. Mm. That's... That's...
Starting point is 00:39:13 That's... It's like... I love this. O-B or like hobo Their inventory Sometimes I meet people just by name alone On this show And I'm already like
Starting point is 00:39:24 I'll talk to you on a plane According to Treasurer Island Police Department, Gary Peter Bush Wait, Peter Bush is all one No Oh Gary Peter Bush Is this one of those two first name First names?
Starting point is 00:39:37 Yeah or it's his middle Like Jonathan Taylor Taylor Thomas Gary Peter Bush Gary Peter Bush GPB if you're nasty Gary Gary Peter Bush is
Starting point is 00:39:48 That is a name Gary Peter Bush That sounds like a game you play in elementary school. His name was Gary Peter Bush This is a kid's version of Mary Kill Fuck. There's a lot of places Gary Peter or Bush him Well I like him so I'll
Starting point is 00:40:02 Gary him. Gary we're going to have to let you go again. Gonna Peter him. He keeps getting fired from the same place. He walked into the Surf Style Shop located at 1-0701 Gold Boulevard. One of the Peters were two in the bush. I had that to the dumb people time walk the door. He exposed
Starting point is 00:40:16 to genitalia and proceeded to defecate on the floor near the dressing room. Now, I am not defending this man at all. No. But if the goal was to just drop a deuce, then by the nature of that act, he exposed himself. But it's different if you say, hello. Yes, and then decide. If those are two separate things, ring him up. But if it's all one movement, it is it in steps or did it all occur at one time?
Starting point is 00:40:40 That's been my whole question the whole time. Is it dinner and a show? Was it exposure by. nature of defecation or was it like boom bow I'm going to show you this and then I'm going to do this
Starting point is 00:40:54 and he does like a jump pivot like he's like look at saying like the man who used a knife and then made a sandwich was like well did he use the knife to make the sandwich? No he was right is there a comma or is it a run on sentence? Exactly everything's a run on Bush or Peter Bush
Starting point is 00:41:09 The guy really Peter Bush let's be honest his Peter is out and then he dropped one in the bush Witnesses told police that Gary Peter Bush wiped himself with the shirt belonging to the store. He's not going to use his own. Creating a biohazard out of the top. Oh, yeah. Yes, technically, you're right.
Starting point is 00:41:26 The top is done. You're not going to sell that. The bottom's done. The top is ruined. Bush, Gary Peter Bush, was arrested later in the day after being recognized at the store again by a store manager. He came back to the scene of the deuce. This is part of it. He came back a second.
Starting point is 00:41:45 time yes i made me want to see anything weird happened here today yeah i think i left my shirt here hey i'm not sure i don't know if you remember i was here earlier i dropped two things off i think i dropped something on the floor here earlier is that i was going to buy this shirt but it's got shit all over it hey you guys hiring because i feel like y'all have a security issue right yeah he's like one of those hackers just like maybe i can work for the feds now you got you got me right i know your weaknesses. Do you want to jail me or do you want to use me? According to the rest report, Gary Peterbush told officers, I was at the store earlier to get clothes. I returned to the store to get more clothes. I bought an outfit. No, you didn't. No, you
Starting point is 00:42:29 didn't. It's not what you did. They recognized you as the shitter. Oh, he's full denial. Like, the shitter, that wasn't me. That wasn't me. I saw him, though. He was a wild car. I heard about it. Oh, that happened? Oh, that happened? I don't like him. I thought that was a myth. Gary Peter Bush is facing charges of criminal mischief and exposure of sexual organs. Yes. I'm going to show you his photo. Not the organs.
Starting point is 00:42:53 We're going to guess. And you will guess. How old? Mid-squat. Is Gary Bush. Oh, God. Well, he's got nice skin. What's the meth situation out there?
Starting point is 00:43:02 Doesn't some people's photo looks like the words, you take it? Do you take it? Are we? These don't look like Dale Gribble's brother. I mean, look at how perfectly straight across. his mouth is and the beard is pretty nice he yes if there's meth involved he's 47 oh there's no drugs at all that we've been said oh you're saying if has you tried to figure out if there's meth involved he's 47 is he one of the bush family like is he jeb bush's brother they all they always
Starting point is 00:43:30 have that one brother that they don't want to talk yeah yeah he doesn't click how it's like it's like watching a really hot celebrity bring his mom or her mom to like you're like oh shit she's in a trailer i mean like that's it Star wagon. But you're just like, wait a minute. You're the best looking person I've ever seen in my entire life. Oh, yeah, that's happy. Too much bedazzled.
Starting point is 00:43:50 Don't need to bring her. Did not need to be. She made her own dress. All right, cool. She doesn't need to hit the red carpet. Come on. Does she? Let her hand with her.
Starting point is 00:43:58 Let her hold your water as you walk through. All right. What are you going with Gary Peter? I would say 61. Okay. 55. Okay. So two years older than us.
Starting point is 00:44:06 Only two years older than us. I'm going. Gary. He said, he said 61. 65. 65. What do you think? I'm going
Starting point is 00:44:15 49 I said a methie 47 I'm going to methie 49 69 69 69 69 61 from Randy 55 we will get out of here in this
Starting point is 00:44:29 go see James Davis somewhere in Michigan the T-H-E James Davis follow him that's the most that's the urgent matter just following me everything else comes together
Starting point is 00:44:41 you'll find it all out there They're same with us, same with Daniel. See Daniel in Chicago and give him lots of hugs. Those are going to be great shows. Gary Peterbush is 69 years old. Oh, he looks good. Bro looks good. He gets the babes when he's 90.
Starting point is 00:44:56 He's almost 70. It's an almost 169-year-old. Who knew taking a dump is the fountain of youth. Public exposure. He gets rid of the wrinkles that way. Shit where you love, you'll never age a day. There you go. That's why he can't eat.
Starting point is 00:45:11 That's why he can't work there. Don't shit where you eat. There you go. All right, guys, that is a show. James Davis. Thanks so much. Thank you guys so much. Oh, snap.
Starting point is 00:45:19 We've got to get back to work. Peace. Stick around. Make us down. There's more. Don't people town.

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