Dumb People Town - Jay Chandrasekhar - This Is How I Die

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

Comedian, writer, actor, and director Jay Chandrasekhar stops by as Randy describes an elementary school social media post that was so insensitive several staff members were fired, Daniel explains how the same two men had to be rescued twice in the same week, and Jason warns against getting shot in the butt outside a Waffle House, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsor: Hims! Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/DPT.

Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes shoes The life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half price bail I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast Dan with co-host Arm and Dan. Don't be a jerk, don't spread the music. We're the funny hits and we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound,

Bunker Down is Dump People Town. Guys, when we leave the house, it's phone, wallet, keys, how's my hair look? Yep. But if you're experiencing hair loss, you might not be so confident when you stop outside your door. So it's time to get that confidence back and restore your hair with HIMS. Start your free online visit today at hims.com slash dpt.

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see website for full details and important safety information. Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population year. Population Chandra Sekhar, Chandra Sekhar. Chandra Sekhar. Welcome back, dude. Rolls off the tongue.

It just rolls off the tongue. Chandra Sekhar, it means rising moon. Does that what it means? My full name is Giant Jumbalingum Chandra Sekhar, and it translates to victorious large penis rising moon. I love it. That is, that, your parents were very, I mean. Prophetic?

Is that a family name? There you go. Name it after my grandmother. God I love you. So we played in the Lions Gate golf outing with Jay yesterday. And then after, so fun. And then afterwards it was beautiful.

We were joking around. Sitting around eating tacos, joking around and Jay. Scott Armstrong. Scott Armstrong one of the funniest people. I started on a riff with Scott Armstrong about his daughter's college essay. And I'm like, does she take Punch Up from you? He said no.

I'm like, that's gonna be a problem because now it's gotta get studio notes. And then network notes. And then those notes sometimes are contradictory. With each other. By the way, Kent Alterman from Comedy, old Comedy Central guy is there. Mark Foreman from Electric Avenue,

he's sitting to my right. And they're laughing and laughing. And then Jay has what I, a comment that made me get up and walk around the table and high five him. He said, like as if he was doing one of the network notes, he said. Does it have to be college?

That's right, for her college essay. This is such a good joke. I almost spit out taco. I'm so happy you're here. Because the world is dumb, as that hilarious joke points out, that studio people and network people can be very dumb. But the world itself is dumb.

Our friends and our fans send us in stories and then we're just gonna go through a couple. Is that okay? Yeah, I like the chemistry of this whole thing. Like we saw each other, we made some jokes, I made a joke that was up to your standard. Oh, it was, I've retold it four times and credited you every time.

Every time. And here I am now. And now that you're here. We made it actually appear. That's it, I love it. So the first story sent in, I've got it by Matthew Friedman, at not your average AVG, Matt. Thanks buddy.

You ready for this? Yes. It's crazy, three of us have kids that go to school, so if this happened at your school. My kids don't go to school. Dan doesn't have kids. All right, here we go. Staff changes made after controversial post

by Florence County School. I'm gonna show you the people. Probably like a Facebook post. Oh'm gonna show you the people. Probably like a Facebook post. Oh yeah. So these are the. That the school made. Okay, that the school, that people from the school.

Here we go. Florence County, South Carolina. Okay, you were performed in South Carolina? I have never performed in South Carolina. We proposed. We had an amazing food scene in Columbia. Oh yeah. Isn't Rory from South Carolina? Rory Sco Carolina? Yeah. Oh yeah. I love that guy.

And insensitive quote. It really wasn't sensitive. You don't have to make it insensitive quote in quotes. Social media post from Royal elementary school. These are little kids in Florence County, which has since been deleted, has led to several employees no longer being employed at the school, as well as school leadership changes according to a news release from district administrators. In the photos, and I'll show them to you,

two of the staff wore T-shirts that said U.S. Border Patrol standing in front of a brick wall, which was- This was like Halloween themed? Which was the only part of the display to represent the country of Mexico during an event, Wednesday highlighting different countries. So you're doing an event highlighting-

So the Mexico booth was a brick wall and two teachers- With two people saying border patrol on top of it. It's very current. Ice. Ice, baby. The event was part of Royals first week of school celebration.

Oh, this isn't even Halloween. This is recently. This is their own version of like, shitty Epcot. Okay, ready? Jay, I want to inform you, due to serious nature of this incident, several employees are no longer employed by the district, have been placed on leave by the district's administration.

As superintendent, I will not tolerate anything of this nature in our school district. That's them saying, I wanna keep my job, right? That's right. They have to come out. I mean, in the 80s, that joke would be in a John Hughes movie. Right? We would be like, ah!

That's what it is, guys! And now, what does it mean? We've changed? We've changed a little bit, but also I don't know if that's the best thing to do when talking about countries. There's probably a lot of other things you talk about in Mexico. I think we've changed a little bit, but also, I don't know if that's the best thing to do when talking about countries. There's probably a lot of other things you're talking about in Mexico.

I think we've changed to the point where we now know the places where these things can fit. By the way, people are smart. They can sniff out when the pendulum has swung too far, where you're like, that's just you being too sensitive. There's insensitive, and then there's too sensitive. And there's a middle ground that we can all kind of live in. Anything around children, I think, you know,

like open racism around children where I would draw my honor. That's a good way to do it. That's fair. Christopher Rogersus. I'm like, pick a name, dude. Are you Rogers? Rogers?

That is a name that never sounds sober. What's your name there, sir? Richard Rogers. Okay, well you're obviously drunk. I played golf with a guy yesterday. His last name was Morphy. Morphy? I'm like, is it?

Is it really? Are you just hiding from the law? Is it Morphy into something else? I think it was Murphy and it's Morphy in his name. Directors of the STEM education presently, but will work as the administrator at Royal until further notice. He served in Florence since 2009 when he was hired as a principal of Carver Elementary School. As nearly 30 years of experience, Julie Smith served as the school's principal for more than 20 years. It's not clear. We're getting fired. It's not clear if she's in a position or not. I want to assure Royal

Community that the school will continue to provide exceptional education for the students with high expectations, blah, blah, blah. Royal Elementary issued an apology on Thursday after the post received backlash from the parents and Mexican American community members. Apology Reads, it is with regret that we acknowledge that a picture was posted to their Facebook page. This is where people get into trouble.

Idiots. Unplug the internet. Who is the Facebook page for? Your aunt? Sure. The police department. Yeah. And for us to book shows.

For us to get fans to come out to show. At Royal, we take great pride in our long-term tradition of embracing and supporting every student who walks through the doors of our building. Our staff is unanimously committed to celebrating diversity. The other shame of this is the Mexico table section should be the most fun.

Exactly. We got a pinata over here. They got some breros. Yes, they probably have. Burros. Churros maybe. Churros. Burros and churros.

Burros and churros. Why is that not a restaurant? Maybe you have a senior frogs at the corner. Senior swankies, I was notified my mistake. Senior swankies, I was notified by my staff. Senior swankies, I've seen your swankies. It's not that beautiful. It's not that wonderful. Oh, Mal, you should the following statement

on the districts we have Thursday afternoon. I was notified by my staff an inappropriate social media post in one of our schools Facebook accounts, one of them. Your school should not have multiple Facebook accounts. No, you can't have a burner account. You can't keep control. Right? That's right, you don't want a burner account. You can't keep control. Right? That's right.

You don't want a burner. You don't want a account. You shouldn't have a burner account. One account means everyone's accountable. That should be at top of the office, right? Dan, let's make that sign. All right, so what was posted and the conduct of the staff involved

was inexcusable, not a representation of the school, its staff, or district as a whole. Today, this matter has been thoroughly investigated and those who have contributed. But is that, remember people getting fired because it was a representation? No, it was a, yeah. Yeah.

This isn't the way we. But you can't say we don't do this sort of thing. We have made great strides in Florence over the past several years and I believe that the best is yet to come. Thank you for your continued support of the staff of Florence One Schools. The Racial Justice Network also released,

did you guys know that there was that? No, they are, yeah. Released a statement regarding the post made Thursday. I have a three, don't you have a three picture deal with the R.J.N.? I do, we haven't been able to agree on a film yet, but yeah, it's coming. Which can be read in the attachment below. Racial Justice Network, they made a statement.

But don't you kind of wish we could see what other countries were? Right. To see like how did they, I think this was the only one. How did they do the Germany one? The group said the district has a habitual past of displaying discrimination, prejudices,

carelessness on professionalism and downright racism. So you need an out- But that isn't representative of them at all. Well yeah. Elder James Williams with the racial, is that, his first name is Elder? That's what I was gonna. Elder James. That's a red flag.

That is a red flag. With the racial justice network said there's lots, how many wives do you have Elder James? Yeah, must be a position within the RJN. I think Elder is his first name. So there were a lot of work time, effort, and thought putting in the display of some of his names. Is that Tiger Woods' first name?

Elder? That's Eldrick. Eldrick. The group said there was no regard for students and how some would feel what message they were sending to others, the racial justice network is questioning the motives behind the display. School is no place for racism and politics. This district, as you said Jay, has already shown

what they think of African Americans and now they've shown us what they think of Hispanics. This is unbelievable. Many of the Mexican Americans in the community have said they're satisfied with how the district handled it, so that's good. All right. But the question of the district allows for,

it doesn't allow for sensitivity training for its employees. So I'm gonna show you the pictures. And again, they just, they had border patrol. Border patrol. Border patrol. And the woman is kind of wearing what I consider a tiny sombrero, which I don't like.

It's like a Shetland sombrero. It's like a mini. Like the kind of sombrero. It's a sombrerito. I'll tell you what complicates that picture. Yes. And I think you know. It's always complicated.

If it's a mixed race. When there's a black, when there's somebody black who's doing the racism, because you're like, is it actually racism? And then, because they go, well, I know what racism is, and I know this is not racist, and I never could be racist. Here's another picture of just, it's all gals. Royal Cantina.

Royal Cantina. All ladies. Yeah, they're wearing sombreros. And a black guy. And one guy. You know, these are all people who. They're all colorful, this is like the type of sombreros you get

when you're at like an all-inclusive resort down Logically if I'm facing the wall and there's border patrol agents. I'm not in Mexico. No, you're on the other side You're in America in America. So that doesn't even work right that you would be this would be a southern No, the border patrols were on the other side of the wall. It's US border patrol. You know what also makes it bad? They're both wearing sunglasses and not smiling.

Like if they were smiling, I don't know if that makes it worse or better. And they made the shirts. They made the shirts. You're right, it is bad that they're not smiling. She made the shirts. She made. That's what I'm saying too.

Someone spitballed this. She did make the shirts. Someone was like, no, no, we have this. All right, Barbara, you can make the shirts. This is where we find out about the affair between them. Right. But Dan, you're right. We have those brick walls from when we did West Side Story.

We can use those. So here's the question. First of all, it's not a brick wall. So we've gone through. It's not the Great Wall of China. We know that about our wall. So the US Border Patrol is on the Mexicans, I will say this.

Yeah, they do patrol over there. It's on the Mexican side. But they're not presenting it. Yeah, and so. How, is there a buffer zone? No, but like when people are coming back in the United States, there's US Border Patrol on the Mexican side

who are allowing people in. So that is, but there is the US Border Patrol patrolling on our side. Again, not the way you wanna represent Mexico. This conversation is proof enough as to why they should have never done this. Yeah, you guys. Because somebody should have been like,

I'm confused about what we're going for. And they're like, yeah, let's just. No, someone's like, it'll be funny. Let's just have a nacho stand. It'll be funny. Let's have a fuckin' nacho buffet, call it a night. Which one of the two of these people do you think said it would be funny?

We all know. She did. She made the shirt. She did. She probably was like, look, we'll get us some brera, we'll put guacamole in the top, we'll put chips around the outside. And they're like, stop. Stop. Stop doing that.

Just stop. Stop what you're doing. And she was like, all right, well can I make the border shirt? And they're like, just fine. Fine, let her make the border shirt. Stop. She's got border shirts from last year.

And so there you go. So that was it. It was just stupidity in a school. And there you go, that's story number one. Down the bubble. She made the shirts. She made there you go so that was it was just stupidity in a school and they got that story number one tell me the shirts she made the shirts and that was that thank you very much partitions uh... will be right back with more hey guys welcome back to the show we've just got some dates that we're gonna let you guys know we can catch him

live very funny standup and a great show. Jayson and I, we can tell you that we, on the November 15th, we're doing a Tag It in St. Louis as part of the Flyover Comedy Festival. On the 16th, and Dan will be on that show. We're headlining the Sheldon Theater in St. Louis as part of the Flyover Festival. Big theater, wanna sell it, wanna fill it up. It's gonna be a blast. Then we're doing our two-man show, The Bourne Ident Theater in St. Louis is part of the Flyover Festival, big theater, want to sell it, want to fill it up, it's gonna be a blast.

Then we're doing our two-man show, The Bourne Identity in Los Angeles in the month of December, the 9th, the 12th, and the 16th. We're doing a Tag It, which you were a part of, you did Tag It with us, at the Comedy Store in the main room on December 5th. And then we're doing Bourne Identity as part of Sketchfest on February 1st. La Jolla Comedy doing Born Identity as part of SketchFest

on February 1st. La Jolla Comedy Store the weekend before. And then we get into the spring where we're gonna be back at Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle for a weekend. Minneapolis over at ACME Comedy Company in Denver. So Superstar's coming. You guys work harder than me. No, I don't think we do.

We just lined all this stuff up and we're way far in advance. We're gone once or twice a month. That's it. And fingers crossed we'll make a movie with J. Chandrasekhar, which would be great. We're trying. We are really trying. We're in discussion with the racial justice group.

You have the three picture deal with them. Let's go. Let us be one of those pictures. Everything we do, I think this is now the third project that we've looped you into to try and do stuff with because we got to do something with you a while back and it was one of our favorite things. We've had success, so let's keep that streak going.

Speaking of success and streaks, you are a fantastic standup. I'm loving all the clips that you put out there over on the intranets and the TikToks and whatnot. You're coming up, you got some dates in the Midwest and whatnot coming up. I do, I have. In Phoenix, you're gonna get the Tempe Improv.

Such a great club, I love that club. And then I'm also, excuse me one second there. Fort Wayne, Summit City. That's right, Fort Wayne, Indiana, right? Summit City. That's gonna be in November and December. Tempe's the 14th. November. Of November.

And people can just follow you and get these dates. I have a link tree. You can follow me at jchandersekar. Great, perfect. I love it. I'm there. He's there. See him, go see him when he's in.

You may recognize him from all his great work in all the Broken Lizard movies. If you're a Super Troopers fan, then you're already beer fest fan Yeah, I can you can also find me at the South Carolina Loretta Facebook. I've been taking that over Oh, you've been running that pay run in Border Patrol on that All right, Daniel, you're ready for a second story by Sent in by Brad McLaughlin from at Brad does film. Thanks Brad for sending this in. At the McLaughlin.

Headline is, this is from back in March, crews rescue same two men from Saginaw Bay for the second time this week. What? If you have to be rescued, in the same place. Rescue me once, shame on me. Rescue me twice.

You two all leave me there. Shame on Dennis Leary. same place. Shame on me. Rescue me twice. You two all leave me there. Shame on Dennis Leary. Sure, yeah, rescue me. That's just... Fraser? You probably directed some rescue series. No, I would have liked to.

Fraser Township, Michigan? Yeah. For the second time this week, emergency crews rescued two men, AKA idiots. I said that. That's right. That's what they're calling them now?

From the jellied waters of the Saginaw Bay after they plunged through the unstable ice, the same two men they rescued in the first incident. Did they, were they ice fishing? Yes, it's March and you're going out on the ice in March. You're tempting fate. Do you know, like, when I was a kid, when I was a little kid, and you'd be in the swimming pool

and they'd call adult swim. I always, so sad, they're doing laps, they start to put the ropes out and you're like, god damn it, and then you'd sit there, I would sit by the edge and I would wait. And I wanted to be the last, I wanted like six people to come up to me and tell me to leave. And I get a little tingling on the back of my neck

because I would just sit there. And it's like that thing. But I was tempting fate in that way. And that was a good way to do it. But this is like your life's on the line. This is not a cold plunge. The two anglers. This is a dumb idea.

We're, it's both actually. Can someone please like dispel how good a cold plunge is for you? Like I'm sure it's pretty good for you. Have you done it? I have. Yeah, I mean, for how long were you able to sit in it? Well, I had a New Year's party in New York City, and then I kept saying to everybody,

we're doing Polar Bear Club the next day, right? Which is in Coney Island, and it's January 1st. Oh my God. And I get a, everyone's like, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in. Of course. I call around on the morning of the first. January 1 get a, everyone's like, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in. Of course. I call around on the morning of the first. The first. No one's in.

And I rope in two people. That's impressive. Sorry, three people. Three people. So we drive down to Coney Island, park the car, get high as fruit baths. Sure. And step out into the freezing cold.

Now, you know, they say it's gonna happen at one o'clock. So we get there at about 1.03, you know? And it's going. Like people are like, ah! Going in. No, they're on the beach. The beach, right. It was a master of ceremonies with a whistle.

No. And he's like, we're going! So then people are pulling, like, there are 300 people there. Yeah. So we quickly, you're like, I thought, oh, I'll have a minute to think about it. You have no time. Strip down to bathing suit.

So there's new people there. Of course there are, this is their opportunity. You go into the ocean. Oh my God. First time it hits your leg, you're like, I'm gonna fucking die. Well, it's 12 degrees in the air. So the water feels warmer. Oh really? It is warmer. And you're like, well, it's not bad in the air, so the water feels warmer.

Oh really? It is warmer. And you're like, well, it's not bad. Is this a hot tub? And once you get used to the brutality of it, then you're just like, hey, I'm swimming around. And there was like a hot naked woman swimming right next to me.

But I was like, this is pretty good. And what happens is you're allowed. I can't wait to tell my wife. What? Three and a half minutes you can stay in. She didn't even know you were in New York for New Year. They tell you that? Yeah, they're like three and a half minutes.

Three and a half minutes. So you're in there and you're like, when, what minute are we on? Eventually your brain starts to slow and they blow the whistle and everybody's out of the water and there's 300 piles of clothes and my vision kind of went a little black and white. Of course!

Right? Of course. And so I'm now looking around for my clothes, thinking, oh my God, this is how I die. You have a towel? Do you have a towel? No, there's no towel! No towel! I mean, I have a towel there, if I find it.

Sure, yeah, yeah. And I'm coming out of the ocean, and I'm like, this is how I die. That's right, never throw it away, forget it. I finally find my pile. First of all, you're constantly thinking about thieves stealing your shit or whatever. I find my pile.

First thing I do is I put on these lace-up boots, socks and boots, and then I hold up my pants. I'm like, oh my God. I've made an enormous mistake. Because you can't pull a pant leg over a boot. This is how I die. This is how you die. I take them, I, put them back on,

and there are all these hot baths around there, Polish hot baths, we couldn't get into any of them because we didn't have a reservation. One of the girls we were with passes out and lays on the cement for 30 minutes. No! And you're just sort of shaking. Oh my God.

That's how she does. That's how she does. So we finally get home, and I'm like, oh my God, I get in a hot tub, and I just warm my body, and I'm like, oh, it was so terrible. I get out, I sit on the couch, and I'm just shaking. Back in, I took six hot baths. And eventually the blood warmed it up.

And I'm like, I will never do that. Yeah, I love that you were rounding people up. Or never have an idea when you're drunk on New Year's Eve. That's right. This is it. Since then, I been cold bludgeon quite a bit. Ah! Yeah, I'm kind of into it. What are the positives of it?

Okay, what it does is it puts your body into a stress that it can manage. And when your body's in a stress, then it kind of creates these stem cells. Okay. It's sort of like what happens with intermittent fasting. If you put your body into like an 18 hour stress creates these stem cells. It's sort of like what happens with intermittent fasting. If you put your body into like an 18 hour stress

where it's like, am I gonna get fed? It creates these stem cells and that's why it's supposed to be good for you. Cold pledging. I read this book by Wim Hof and he's called The Iceman and he goes into like a whole box of ice. He can go in for like two hours

and he can raise his temperature. He did that on a whim. He did not do that. On a whim and a half. So two anglers were trying to retrieve items that they had to abandon during their first rescue when they needed to be rescued yet again. So they were out on the ice.

They had to be rescued. They left all their stuff out there and they thought, hey, it's only later in the year than it was a week ago, right? Let's go. Let's let's be Jack from lost and go back. Yeah, God, you know, they went in on their bellies, too They're like slide now being careful. Yeah, I Fishing used to be necessary to survive. Yeah, it is no longer No Alaska recreation people move out of their house for a year used to be necessary to survive, it is no longer. No, Alaska. As people move out of their house for a year.

Sorry, three months. It's just a chance to get away from your kids for two weeks. About 4.30 p.m. on Wednesday, March 9th, Bay County Sheriff's deputies were dispatched to Linwood Beach Marina in Fraser Township after being alerted to two men being in the water after their boat capsized. They didn't even make it onto the ice.

No. This was according to Sheriff Troy R. Cunningham. The two men were trying to retrieve equipment. They'd been forced to leave on the ice from their previous ice rescue. Here's something you never wanna hear when you're being rescued. Have the rescuers be like, you guys again?

You guys! Yeah. Leave them. Should be like, where? Grab the rope, idiot! Yeah. You guys. Yeah. Leave them like we're at the rope idiot. Yeah. You know what to do. That prior rescue occurred three days earlier on Sunday, March 6th and saw the two men identified as Jonathan Doty of Otisville and Nicholas Mullins of Mount Morris. Jonathan they had to leave behind when they

suppose when they were first rescued snowmobiles, fishing equipment, and off-pop-up camper due to a large crack in the ice, the sheriff said. The US Coast Guard rescued- So they drove all that shit out onto the ice. Well back when it was fine to do so. Right, but- And they fell through, it wasn't fine. And now there's a huge crack in the ice, so they're not going to be able to get back,

so they were rescued. But in order to get rescued, you couldn't take everything with you. You can see why they went back for it wasn't fun. So they're not gonna be able to get back, so they were rescued. But in order to get rescued, you couldn't take everything with you. You can see why they went back for the snowmobile. Oh yeah, the snowmobile. That's a fun activity. You don't wanna lose that. There was a...

They're like, if we get on this snowmobile, we can outrun the ice breaking. We can outrun it. We know we can get past it. There was a third person with the men on that date as well, about two miles offshore from Linman Marina. So this third guy was like, I'm not going back. Yeah. I'll meet you guys on the other side on the second attempt or first attempt to get their stuff a

second time back out there in three days. They took a 12 foot flat bottom boat across the water bottom boats. You make the rock and where I go. They took that boat out to cross the water out onto the ice flow when it capsized in rough water, which means they also had to assess like, I don't think it's going to get much more choppy than it is now. These guys don't know how to like assess. It's Michigan guys. It's called the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Did we learn flat? The whole point of a flat bottom boat was it's who it doesn't capsize. Right? Like wide enough. Wadham. It's like a tennis sneaker. Yeah, no it did They took that boat out there I capsized rough water one of the two men cell phones still worked and he managed to call 911 giving updates on their location in the worsening condition in the water He's like holding it up on the ice on the water. Oh god

Cuz they could take the boat on the ice. Right, but it flips over. At a certain point you're gonna get to the crack and then you need the boat to get across the crack to get your stuff. This feels like a true detective season. This feels like a riddle. They must have lost a bunch of stuff in the capsizing

so they gotta go back and get that. Get that now. They even made it to load up the boat. He's talking about the third time they go in April. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta guess. The US scuba gear. Yeah, that's right.

The US Coast Guard also responded and deployed an airboat and a helicopter. The men were found about a mile and a half into the bay and were in the water for just over an hour. A mile and a half into the bay? They were rushed to the shore, placed in waiting ambulances, and taken to McLaren Bay region

for what appeared to be non-life threatening injuries. That was March and they're still not warm. They're being kept overnight for observation. Both Dottie and Mullins had been wearing life jackets without the vest. Who knows if they would have survived, the sheriff said. Probably not. Dottie and Mullins.

Underneath the life jackets were their border patrol shirts. Yeah yeah. The boat the men had taken out had sank. The other property they had been trying to retrieve was not hauled in on Wednesday night. The men were not issued citations or charged with any offense. Something Cummingham said is not done to people who are rescued. The Coast Guard or Department of Natural Resources can issue fines to people who leave property on the ice after Advisories have been issued urging people to stay off it right so that went out there when they shouldn't have been with that stuff Disregard the advisory yes, you're gonna get fine coming at Cunningham Once again encourage people to stay off the ice as it becomes increasingly unstable with the seasons changing if abandoned equipment does not

Does need to be retrieved the best way to do so is to hire a professional salvage team. This is where this gets a little fun. Hire professionals, they can go retrieve it. He probably said, it's much safer, much safer. To that end, a GoFundMe campaign was launched shortly after the rescue to raise money for a salvage effort. How much money did they raise? Yes. As of 9 a.m. Thursday the writing the story the campaign had garnered $1,365 from 31 donors towards the goal of $3,000 that's pretty good. All funds go towards a salvage crew not to the guys So they've already said we're not giving these idiots any money. No, by the way, this is pretty

Like gives me hope for the community that people like we're not giving these idiots any money. No, by the way, this is pretty, like gives me hope for the community that people are like, we'll even save these idiots. Yeah, okay. I wouldn't have donated. I wouldn't have either. First off, how old, it just throw me two numbers, is Jonathan Doughty and Nicholas Mullins. Donny and Mullins is the new Resolio Niles.

You two be honest. Okay, keep the words right. Ask our brothers. I'm gonna go 20 and 21. Okay. 20 and 21, Jay, what do you think? Mullen's Don Donnie and Mullins is the new result As far brothers 21 okay, and 21 Jay, what do you think? 46 and 38 okay 61 67 Jonathan Donnie and Nick Mullins in the perspective order are 23 and 29 That's the kind of age where you're like, it's gonna be fun.

We'll go get it. I'm invincible. We'll go get it. Right. Okay, final thing, then we'll go to story three. So the goal for the GoFundMe was $3,000. I went and looked. Of course you looked.

How much money do you think the GoFundMe raised? Between that, so it was up to a thousand something 1365? Okay, can we go over? Yeah? 4265 okay, four thousand joy six five. Okay, I think I think they raised twenty seven hundred dollars Okay, two thousand four hundred dollars. They raised of the three thousand dollar goal before we go to story three and I hand this to Jason Sclar they raised 3022 bucks. Oh, right over it!

They stopped it. They were like, we're good, we got our money for the salvage. We don't wanna raise anymore. I hope they got their stuff. Don't go back out onto the ice. Don't go back out on the ice. They were screwed because you are gonna get in big trouble if you don't go get all that equipment.

How do you salvage the equipment without going into the ice yourself? A salvage team? Is that a Bee Gees song? Yeah, it is. How do you salvage a broken heart? Jay, what do we got? We got a story.

We got a Waffle House. OK. And everything that comes with it. OK. Sticky floors and fighting people. Yep. Here we go. Jay Chandrasekhar is with us.

And we'll find out what Daniel's got going on. I can support him right after this out what Daniel's got going on. You can support him right after this break. It's Dumb People Town. Don't go nowhere. Stick around, make a sound, there's more Dumb People Town. All right, no one wants to lose their hair. Absolutely not.

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Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Stick around, make a sound. There's more than people tell. Hey gang, welcome back to the show before we jump into story three. Daniel, let people know you're going to be at the Flyover Fest and beyond. Yes, if you're not in Tempe on the 14th of November, come to St. Louis. I'm headlining the Flyover Comedy Festival and I will be there the next night as well. Sclarz and I are'm gonna jump on their show Tag it that'll be super fun

But come see me in new material on Thursday the 14th And then go to Daniel van Kirk comm the first Wednesday of every single month is my show over share comedy You write down over shares from your life, and then comics start their set by doing them. You should know to have it I mean we did it. It's fun. It's really fun So I would I would share the story and then people would make. No, there's a bowl of stuff that the audience members have. They write down overshares from their own. I'm in love with my coworker and you're like, holy shit, and you go and riff off of these things

and then you can go on to the next one. You can do your own material too, but you start out your set by revealing somebody's overshare. It's super fun. It's really fun. Go to danielvancurk.com for all that jazz. All right, Jay, you ready? Shall we jump into this?

All the way in. You're all the way up. Okay, here we go. Nothing can stop me. I'm all the way up, just like that, Joe. Oh, I don't know if I wrote down who sent this. Jay, you're so bad at this. Damn it, I'm so bad.

Come on, give credit where credit is due. All right, this, it was probably Sheebie Carly. No, I don't know. I actually don't know. Here we go. Uh, Pensacola man accused of shooting man in buttocks chasing man with screwdriver at Waffle House. This feels like a typical night at the one. It also sounds like a deescalated. It started with shooting in the butt and then chase sort of a good thing for Waffle House. Like, Hey,

we're starting to deescalate. We wait from gun to screwdriver. Yeah, that's kind of smart. Call that a win. That's like serving fruit with waffles. What is it, smart people town? Yeah, come on, this might be a pathway for the Middle East. Okay, here we go. Deputies with the Escambia County Sheriff's Office arrested a Pensacola man who allegedly

shot a man in the buttocks and chased another man around at Waffle House with a screwdriver according to an arrest report. So, shot the rest of his ammunition into someone's butt. Yeah, that's what I thought too. He's like, I'm out of this. Click, click, click, what else do I have? He had the one bullet he had planned on using for himself.

I got one bullet and I got one screwdriver. Who wants it? Shoot a guy in the butt. I thought maybe that he shot the guy in the butt and everyone else is like, it's cool, he's out of bullets. And then he pulled that screwdriver. Oh yeah! No, we should have gotten rid of him.

What is that? Is that regular, flat? No, Phillips, get out of here! Part of me also wants it to be like an orange juice and vodka that he's chasing a man with. A screwdriver. Thank you. Yeah.

Okay, I'm not gonna tell you how old this guy is, but his name is phenomenal. Dequan Turrett, Dequan Therese. Okay. Dequan Therese. Jamarl, Jamarl. These aren't real. Dequan Therese Jamarl Lucky.

That's his whole name? That's his whole name? Yeah. Dequan Therese Jamarl Lucky. Giant Jumbalingam Chandra Sekhar. Right, that's the only name? Dequan, Therese, Jamaral, Lucky. Giant Jumbalingum Chandrasekhar. That's the only name that rivals it. Jamaral. Jamaral. Should we name him Carl or Jamar?

Nope, we can do both. Combine them. We can do both. Can we do both? There was a football player named La Mike, and I always thought that was cool. Yeah, La Mike. La Mike, La Mike. Here he is, Jamarro Lucky.

He's the opposite of Lucky at this one. Was the rest of us? Why I'm lucky. Yeah, right. On September 8th, he's accused of attempted homicide, aggravated assault, distribution of a Schedule I narcotic. And not finishing those hash browns. Wait, distribution of a Schedule I narcotic within a finishing those hash browns. Wait, distribution of a schedule narcotic

within a thousand feet of a school. Wait, what? A Waffle House should not be within a thousand feet of a school. That to me is just like, anytime you commit a crime at a Waffle House that's 900 feet from a school, you now have broken that law. Yeah, distribution of marijuana

within a thousand feet of a school. So this is a drug deal that went wrong, correct? I mean, that's what we're saying. They met at Waffle House and went wrong. Would you rather be shot in the butt or stabbed with a screwdriver? Shot in the butt. This sounds like the beginning

of your blue collar comedy tour. Would you rather be shot in the butt or getting by a screwdriver? At a Waffle House. You might be at a Waffle House. Okay. You might be at a Waffle House. I might be at a Waffle House. You might be at a Waffle House. I'd rather get stabbed by a screwdriver. That could be his new. I would take the shot in the butt.

Shot in the butt? Imagine a screwdriver coming in. Again, that is my favorite. If you've ever thrown hot coffee in a man's face who you just met. You might be at a Waffle House. If you've ever distributed a grade one narcotic within a thousand yards of a school.

If everyone sits facing the door, you might be at a Waffle House. If the chair ends up behind the counter, if you burn your groin with a grease fire, you might be at a Waffle House. If the hash browns are raw, if the hash browns contain hash, you might, okay. Possession of a firearm by a convicted felon,

he's already a convicted felon, and disorderly conduct on the premise of an establishment. Let's not go so far as to calling the Waffle House an establishment. I think that's a reach. It is a covering. A pillar. It's a restaurant though, the tables aren't nailed down,

are they? Are they nailed down at a Waffle House? They're nailed down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Last time you've been to a Waffle House? Have you ever been? I question how confident you are about that. You just know this?

Stan's been to a Waffle House. My new hour, I have this whole story about me, the first time I went to a Waffle House and it was traumatizing and very hilarious. So just a regular Thursday at a walk. Yeah. It was like 1030 in the morning. We were about an hour and a half north of New Orleans. You should be clear. We walk in and the woman looked at us and goes to and we go yeah and she goes there and I'm like normally it's like see yourself or what do you got? Nope. They're there. I'm like, okay, normally it's like, see it yourself or what do you got? Nope, she's like, there.

And I was like, I think I have a new high school football coach. Stone Cold Steve. It was insane, it was insane. Tabitha Wolves, come be there in St. Louis on the 14th. Oh, I'll tell that story, 100%. According to the ESCO report, Lucky pulled out a gun and shot a man,

but the bullet hit the ground and ricocheted into a man's buttock. A different man's buttock. I felt like it might have been an accidental. Went to shoot a guy, shot the ground, and ricocheted up and off. That's not his fault exactly, right? I mean, because he's trying to waste one to scare him, goes into another guy's buttock.

He's wasting a pitch. Yeah. Okay, going in a way. Pulled out the jammy, aimed at the sky. That's the part he didn't get right. He yelled stick him up and then let two fly. Up there, but he let him fly. You don't go down,

because the ricochet factor. Also, we just talk about. Do you think he called bank? You gotta call glass? No, I mean let's talk about Waffle House flooring in terms of like the ability to ricochet. Yeah, because usually it's just dirt. Yeah.

That's very true. After that, the man who had been shot. Two, there, in the dirt. After that, the man who had been shot allegedly ran into the Waffle House. Wait, so they're in the parking lot? Yeah, they're in the parking lot. Yeah, it's the parking lot of Waffle House.

Ran into the Waffle House and probably was like fourth in line. Sorry I'm late, sorry I'm late, sorry I'm late. Or fourth in line in terms of injury. Sure. He was like, we gotta deal with you after the guy who got knifed. It's like an acute medical care clinic, which caused patrons to start running

to the back of the business. Yeah, of course. Somebody's shooting a gun outside. Shooting a gun outside. The arrest report said one man tried to run out the front door to leave the area, which is when Lucky began chasing him outside the building with a screwdriver. Different guy.

You're not leaving. Wow. Different guy. He's like, I'm parked out here, do you mind if I? You're a witness. He's like a dragon that the town has to try to get around when they go to leave. I'm going to pay the bill, I'm going to run by the guy who's shooting people in the parking lot. Are you too drunk to know the riddle

so we can get back to our car? Do you not know how to solve the riddle? He doesn't, the guy out there doesn't even know the fucker. He changes the riddle. Answer me questions! Change the riddle every time we walk out there. When officers. Answer me these questions three or get a screwdriver. In the knee!

When officers arrived, they found multiple bags containing marijuana and MDMA. I mean, are we talking about trash bags, right? Party, yeah. Target bags, guys. Get your seared out. Trash bags Eugene Levy style from Club Paradise. Okay, okay.

We'll get out of here on this. How old is Dequan Therese Jamaral Lucky? Jamaral Lucky. 48. 48 years old. 48. 48? That was quick. The guy with the gun in the ground. Quick on the draw.

He's got a screwdriver for anyone who's engaged. I don't think young people carry screwdrivers. Yeah, if you've done enough of these drugs, you're fine early on. At 48, you start to make bad judgment. Right. Bad choices. Start to lose it.

I'm gonna go, it's a lifetime of abuse. Leads us to this. I'm gonna go 26. 23 year old Jamaral would not have done that. Okay. 26? Fair. Okay, I see you got 30.

I just undercut you. 34. 34. Yeah, old, because the screwdriver, I just feel like he's got this truck. Well, he's working, he also has a job. That's what I'm saying, I like that guess, but I'm gonna try to go to the other end.

Also, did he have the screwdriver in his pocket just in case anything went wrong? Not on his utility belt. Oh, he's wearing the belt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's doing a job, all right. This guy works hard. This guy does work hard.

Can we please give him some credit? Come on, he's got four names. He's gotta feed four names. He's got an extra L in his middle name. Jamaril. The extra L is not for lazy. No, it's for Jamaril. All right, so this guy, one of you,

I'm gonna do this. I don't know if we've ever done this before one of you is two years off. Okay, fine You guys have the option to go go years 30 six 24 46 46. All right, get your answers in townies go see November 14 15 Fort Wayne at Summit City Fort Wayne Summit City in December go go see Daniel in st. Louis Watch his movie wine club. It's so good at Summit City. Four Way and Summit City in December. Go see Daniel in St. Louis. Watch his movie Wine Club. He's so good in Wine Club.

You should watch the movie, Jay. Wine Club is a movie he did. It's a feature I did. It's now been moved off of the premium streamers over to Tubi, and it's a great romantic comedy. My wife and I, Lope, we go to an off the map winery that ends up being a cult run by Steve Little. He's a former childhood star

and then he wants out of his cult as much as we do. It's really fun. It's really good. Who plays your wife? Not your real wife. Taylor Ortega. Taylor Ortega. She's really, really good.

They're really good in it. Dan is so good in this movie and his special is great. Come see us in St. Louis as well. And the person who got it right, Dequan Therese, Jamaral Lucky, gun and screwdriver at a Waffle House, is 24 years old. Oh, Daniel nailed it.

Man, he's young enough to have a screwdriver. Hard work in 24 years. That's right. But it didn't work. Entrepreneur in work. It was funny because you said I don't see a 23 year old Jamaral, and he was just 23. That's it, whoop.

He was just 23. This is the beginning of a Dolly Parton song. All right, you guys, that is the show. We love ya, and oh snap, we gotta get back to work. Peace. Stick around, make a sound, there's more to our people town. Hi, I'm Vanessa Baer, and this is my brother, Jonah.

We're two siblings who love to talk about our childhood and nostalgia, and how it shaped us into the people we are today. And we're so excited because all new episodes of our Nostalgic Podcast, How Did We Get Weird, will be hitting your feeds again starting Monday, October 14th. So get ready for more laughs, more incredible guests,

and updates on our dad, AKA the first Todd, including a recent run-in he had in our parents' condo community that Vanessa witnessed first hand. Listen right here at our new home at All Things Comedy, it's gonna be rad!