Dumb People Town - Jenny Zigrino - Meth In A Mason Jar

Episode Date: November 4, 2025

Comedian Jenny Zigrino (Live Dates & Weekly Show) stops by as Randy describes how an IHOP waitress got charged with groping a customer, Jason explains why a woman put glitter and salt in her ex's engine, and Daniel warns against storing your meth in a mason jar, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsor: ASPCA Pet Health Insurance! To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/DPT. Eligibility restrictions apply. Visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/amazonterms for more info. 

Oh, do we have an amazing dumb people down today. We got a hansy waitress in an eye hop. We got a woman who puts glitter in her ex-boyfriend's air conditioning of his car. And, oh, snap, we got meth in a mation jar. And all of that is broken down with the hilarious Jenny Zagrino. You don't want to miss it. Hey. Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of coke so unaware.

They lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose will make. the news breaking down each epic bail in Florida there's half price bail I'm happy to say they couldn't make this dumb don't so listen to our podcast jam with co-host our man dan banturred don't be a jerk because when the music which the funny hits and we are gonna take you Down, stick around, make a sound, don't you're down, it's Dumb People Town. Daddy's welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population. Population, Zagrino.

Yeah. We're already laughing. We're already having fun. It's great. Zagrino, I want Zagrino to take over for Pellegrino. Like, I want that to be the only bubbly water I drink. It's a spicy bubbly water. It's very spicy.

It might be too spicy for people. Why is there so much pepper in it? It should just have a hint. I'll have a pample-moose and Tabasco Zagrino. Thank you. We'll take a table-side Zagrano? I like the guys chose pepper as the spicy. Like, how white could you be?

Why is cute? So much black pepper in this. There's too much pepper in it. It's always got to be black pepper. All right. So here's the way. The world is getting dumber. We know that.

That's the one thing we can count on having done this show for decade, for over a decade. Over a decade. But it feels like decades. Yeah. Yeah, as the keeper of the calendar, we did start it over a decade. Over a decade ago. Wow.

Keeper of the calendar. The world gets dumber. We still have dumb stories. Well, someone I remember one time was like, you guys ever were? You're going to run out of stories? And we're like, no. That was in 2017. Yeah.

We are not. No, we said we're going to have a pandemic. We predicted it. All right. I've got a story. I'm going to start us off. You ready, Jenny? Ready.

Let's jump into it. This was sent in by me. I found it. Oh, who's that? Okay. All right. So, here we go. Here's the, we're going to IHop guys.

Remember when they changed, we're going to change it to IHob, International House of Burgers because they had burgers. That was a lie. Yeah, it was all a marketing. No, I think they were going to do it, you guys. They were going to do that. IHop.

They got you. I know, they got me. Where do you rank in terms of Denny's IHop? IHop Waffle House. Like you should have a knife on you. It goes Waffle House. Definitely. And then do you put Denny's above IHop?

IHop above Denny's. in terms of dangerous meter. Wasn't there an IHOP right next to when you worked at the gas station at Clark? I hop and you saw and you guys all I worked at a gas station which... Big reveal.

They wouldn't let us work at the same gas station because they thought if I saw him stealing gas I wouldn't report it, which is saying blood is thicker than gas but whatever. Also, probably true. Yeah, totally true. I would never report it if I saw him stealing gas. They had an Sprite under the

cap game where like you could win prizes and one of the prizes was free sprites and so we would just hold them up and I'd be like oh there's a free sprite and I would just crack it open and drink sprites all day you were right next to an IHop IHop and these these heathens I was working with they got so excited because a van pulled up to the IHop with a famous stripper in it I don't know How they knew. So this is 93. So the internet was not letting people know. They weren't following her on Snap.

This is like just word of mouth and legend. Yeah. And like Howard Stern appearances. Probably. That is like the only. That's how you knew. Although I don't know how many people in St. Louis were listening to Howard Stewart. Stern wasn't paid.

He was syndicated by 93 in St. Louis. Maybe. It was like him and Bob and Tom just fighting. Very Bob and Tom. Maybe. It's not true, too. She called her breasts, Bob and Tom. Not a bad.

Her name was Busty Hart. Have you ever heard of her? No. She had 88 triple Ds. And this woman walks out. Just a curse. She's falling over and these guys who are working with were going crazy. I'm like, you guys went the afternoon off and go over there and get her autograph?

Have her sign your breasts. If it's good enough for Busty Heart, it's good enough for our next story. So she went to the IHop? Yeah. To the I hop. They just watched her going and come out. They were like too scared to go up and say something to her. That's so cute.

I'm like, okay. I'm like, okay. I don't know. All right, here we go. You ready? Yeah. I hop waitress charged with customer grope now. Oh, that's not okay.

No, but we're going to get into it. And we have a very specific, the three of us, feeling about waiters and waitresses that are too comfortable. When they come in and they sit down in the booth with you, you know those. What are we doing? How are we doing today? How are we all doing? What are we doing?

What are we having? You're not in the group. You look fancy? You don't look fancy today. Oh, we're celebrating? Okay. We are. We are not celebrating.

You're not in the we. We are. You aren't. And I hop waitress sexually harassed a female customer and rubbed a woman's breast, back arm and arm, back in arm after sitting next to her in a restaurant booth, according to police, who arrested the worker for battery. Now, investigators alleged. Battery sounds so intense. Battery is like bumping it up. She just was, I'm not going to say it's not right.

Yeah, I wonder what would be the lower. Like, did she lean when she was putting the pancakes down and we're like, oh, no. Oh. Oh, God. I'm going to pull a little fruity in that Rudy, too. Fresh and fruity. Investigators allege. Now, there are now investigators investigating.

Sure. Let's dial back the SWAT team is there that Allie may write. And if Ali may write, I don't want to be wrong. That's why you chose this story. We're going to get her age in a little bit. The server at a Florida IHup, of course, was waiting on the patron when she, quote, began to call the victim a sexy cunt. And in front of her grandchildren. She can sit at the table, okay?

This lady can sit at the table. Shut her in the booth. That's the least offensive way to call someone a cunt. Look, she's sexy. Like sexy con is like She thinks it's a compliment Yeah I feel like that's something David would say

In my lottery dream home Right Like when he meets David's always meeting If it's your sassy gay friend It is like the greatest compliment You sexy cunt Look at these sexy cunts

Like that's nice This is so fun I love this allegation Also if you walk in and that offends you I'm not victim blaming But you should leave Because it's not gonna get better No

That's the opening And you walk in and it goes You sexy cat and you are appalled by that, do not sit down. Okay, so the patron said she began to call the victim a sexy cunt and gave her a milkshake that was not ordered. Is that a euphemism? You're my milkshake tastes better than yours.

This person is getting the best treatment at an I hop. Ever. She's getting a free milkshake. She got a compliment. There might be coming it. What a treat. If you're offended, you can't, again, I'm not, you can't take the milkshake, but you can't take Did she take a little shake?

She obviously. She obviously did, but right cops charged would return to the table and continue to call her a sexy cunt. Well, you got to come up with more terms. You can't just keep, this is like, you can't low kick your way through this street fighter battle. Yeah, but she came in at a 10. Like, where do you go? She came in hot.

Some sexy cunt. Right then sat next to the victim. We all know that this is a problem. And began to rub on the victim's back arm and on the outside of her right breast. Oh, side boob. and was seen resting her head on the victim's shoulder. Okay. Okay.

This is really comfortable. Did they say what time this happened? I think that's also very important. Oh, yes, they did. Well, guess that. The victim did not know the defendant and did not give her permission to judge. Unless it's, you're saving it for the end. Because I don't know.

I have other things, but what. 245 a. Yeah. Okay. One 11 a.m. Oh, the golden hour? 12. The angel.

The angel number. Angel time. Aaron, do you have any venture to guess? I'm going to say. 9.45 p.m. Okay. Get transit. Late dinner. 8 p.m.

Oh my God. Prime time. Prime time, baby. Even more reason to leave. Oh, my God. It was recorded by the IHob security cameras. Now, Wright was arrested for battery, booked in the county jail, and misdemeanor charge.

She was released on how much bond? What do we think? A thousand. 5G. 250 bucks. One of you is exactly right. 5,000 bucks. You're going to stay at 5,000.

A thousand, you're going to stay at $2.50? I'll move to $1,000. Okay. Get your answers in townies because she was released on $250. I don't know. You got to get you confident. I don't trust that. You know what?

You aren't a sexy cunt. That does feel low. 250 bonds, spending the night in custody and a judge ordered the St. Petersburg residence to have no contact with the victim. I don't think this was targeted a human. No. This is just not like my ex that I'm trying to make uncomfortable. Correct.

I feel like this is just a random. the waitress is drunk and the so the rest affidavit indicates that the cops detected indication of an alcohol. Sure. She got drunk at work. With regard to right, it's unclear that her current employment status at the St. Pete

Beach pancake purveyor. That's a fantastic. Wait, it's unclear whether or not she still has a job. Yeah, it's unclear because, you know, what do you order at 8 p.m. What do you order at 8 p.m. at an I-Hop? Yeah, like, club sandwich. Club sandwich? Yeah, steak fries. Did you say South Beach? That rolled right off there.

Did you say South? Beach pancake purveyor. No, I said St. Pete Beach pancake purveyor. It's so much better. St. Pete Beach Pancake purveyor. I would change the name to that if I'm that. Instead of my. IHob.

No, no. St. You got it. Let him do it. S.P.B. P.P. That to me sounds like something you got from the government during COVID. Or from your wages.

You get your SVB, P. I still owe money on my SV. You got to pay that off or else they're going to. I got to pay that off. paid off. What is the interest rate on that? We're also going to take my HM1.

Yes. And give you HPV. They are going to give you HPV. I got the vaccine. They're going to take away all your N95s. So it is, to me, if you're at the booth next to this, you are like,

stop eating everybody. I'm filming the greatest thing I've ever seen in my time. Oh, I'd be so mad if I was at the booth next. Why? Why are you not giving us that attention? I want to be at the booth across. Or at the table. If I'm at the booth next,

be like we have to... Dan, there is no booth across. I can't believe how naive you're being about what an IHop looks like. There is no booth across. The booths line the windows and then there's the bar seating. Yeah. Bar seating. Is there a center, too?

No, they're on center booths. There is a booths line the windows. I love that you think every IHob is laid out the exact same. It is booths, booths along the windows and then a bar with seats that face the booth. Come at me, bro. Seriously, come at me. Come at me, I hub. Okay, so, I mean, to me, I'd be mad if I would, I would be.

Behind her in front. This would be the greatest show I've ever seen in my entire life. If I'm sitting there and this whole thing happens, like, I'd be like, come sit on. You imagine if we're sitting here, right? And it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, we're at the booth next to it, and it's behind you. And I'm having to tell you can't turn around. And you can't open your mouth as you're talking about it. You would be like, we are same siding.

Like, you would get up and be like, we're going to same side those things. We're on a date. And Dan, and you're explaining everything but not moving your mouth. You're like, she just called her a sexy. No, no, you're at an eye hop. You start, you announced to everyone. You know, I would do like, check out this shit. Oh, I'd be like, no shake for me.

Like, I'd be trying to, like, get in on some of this. You can grab my titties for Friday. Because it's not going to be, it's funny on stage tomorrow if it doesn't happen to me. Yeah, Dan. Exactly. Oh, my. I would insert myself. I wish you were there.

This would be your closer, Dan. It currently is. I do a Waffle House story to close my current hour. I know, but this would be like a side tributary. Within the Waffle House story, this would be a tributary. Your Waffle House story could be a one-man show. Like, I swear to you, Dan. Yeah, no.

Like, it's already like 11 minutes. I leave things out of it. How long is it? 11 minutes? At least. And Dan, I would call your next special that that thing is in waffling. Sure. Dan, Daniel Van Kirk is Waffling.

Why not St. What is it? St. St. Beach. Pancake Perveyor. It's the St. Pete Beach Pancake Perveyor.

We're going to get out of Europe. Two ages. How old was the woman who... Was victimized? Was victimized? Who was grove to deny us for it. Four days. Pick an age.

46. Okay. What's, like, willing to take a shirt. Can I change it? Yes. Okay. Now that I'm thinking for a comedic effect, it would be so great if she was like 78. Yes.

Which could also make sense, though. They wouldn't make sense. Because she's first like, what did you call me? Like she doesn't, she's like slow on the uptake. And once she's like being physically accosted. She would be offended. She is enough of this. Right.

Yeah. Okay. I'll go. So you're saying 76? 78. 78. I'll go 31. Uh-huh.

Jay. 25. Okay. Aaron, you ventured to guess. She's calling the cops at 23. Okay. get your answers in townies because the woman who was groped was 51 years old she is a little older she's an older woman okay maybe she looked great all right

how old is the way allie may write we'll get out here on this story number one and it was just a alley may write that she thinks a 51 year old is a sexy cunt right or or enough and starts out like is she trying milkshed yeah so this is what i'm this is what we have to understand older than her? What if Allie Mae Wright is hilarious? She's like, she's just not from Geico, but not from progressive.

She is hilarious. Look, as comics, we've all said weird stuff and have been like, oh, if a comic was here, they'd get it, but this regular person, maybe she's just a genius.

Right. So I'm saying like, this is why I'm gonna, there are clues that tell me she maybe is really funny, okay? Like, she is the kind of person who puts food on the table

is like, put this inside of you. Right. Or something like that. You know what I mean? Like she'll say a funny thing She's silly amongst her friends Sassy She says whatever she wants and it's really funny

Empty plate she says guess you hated it Right exactly Yeah I'll go back and tell the chef you hated it's stuff like that And it's like and the real joke is chef Anyway but I think How dear I think

Pancake purveyor Dan would you order pancakes at night You wouldn't order? I mean I'll always do a pancake for the table Oh yeah Table cake Yeah And, like, to me, she'd be like, if nobody ordered it, she would, as she's walking away, this reminds me who she is.

She's walking away and say, okay, I had a pancake for the day. But the fact that she's doing this to a 51-year-old woman, like, it's either she's so drunk and she is really attracted to this woman. Or she's just the crazy person who says all the crazy things. She's doing it on a, I don't know, anyway. So how old do we think Ellie May wear? Allie May right is. Yeah, and you can go first. I'm going to say 30s.

Okay. Pick an age. You got to pick an age. We've got to get specific here. Okay. I'm 37. Okay. Good guess.

I'm going to go 26 years old. Okay. 48. One of you is exactly right. Oh, shit. I'm not moving off my number anymore. 48? She's 26.

She's drunk. What do you think? I'm keeping at 37. Yeah, she's drunk. She's 37. Get your answers in. Jenny Zagrino, the great Jenny's Gros. Comedy Pervair.

St. Pete, Comedy, Beach. Some do call me the pancake Pervair. I mean, it's probably not accurate, but it does work. St. Paul, Comedy Pervair. St. Paul City Comedy Pervair. We, Allie Mae Wright, is 26 years up.

Daniel, you know it. Boom. She was supposed to go out that night. Don't slide that hard. She was supposed to go out that night. She was supposed to go out that night. She brought the party. Party to the IHop. Story number one down in the books. We'll come back and find out what Jenny has going on. Oh, so many good dates.

Lots of good dates. So many good dates. So many good things. You've got to see her live. It's Dumb People Town with the great Jenny's agreement. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound.

Come here down. It's Dumb People Town. There's a beautiful new pet in the Van Kirk family. Maisie Louise, little puppy beagle that we have. And I love animals so much, even though they manipulate me with their love because when I first met little Maisie Louise I'm like well I'll do anything for you in the world which is sort of perfect for our sponsor for today which is the ASPCA pet health insurance program here's the deal we insure everything in our

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To explore coverage, visit ASPCA pet insurance.com slash DPT. That's ASPCA pet insurance.com slash DPT eligibility restrictions apply. Visit ASPCA pet insurance.com slash Amazon terms for more info. This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence, American Insurance Company, or United States Fire Insurance Company, and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Before we get into what our wonderful guest, Jenny Zagrino, has going on, Jason, tell them what we have happened.

Not sure when this is dropping, but if it's dropping anywhere in... September we are going to be in Alaska on the 11th 12th I always love flying on September 11th I think we've done it 20 of the 25 years it's like why is it every like why can't they be on a Monday so September 11th we're going to be in Anchorage September 12th in Seward Alaska and September 13th in Valdez and I'm so excited we these shows are going to be great we love to Alaska so we're doing that and then the next week we're going to be in Austin Texas one night we're doing the state theater I'm really excited and we want to sell it out.

And it's doing okay. So, like, I think we got a shot. Have you head up our guys to do the radio? LBJ, yeah. I think Matt Bearden's going to be on the show. Yeah, it's Bearden and Bob. Yeah, so Matt's going to be on the show. He's going to do it set on the show.

Yeah, we're very excited. We're going to make it happen. And then the next night we're in Raleigh at the Rialto Theater, which I'm really excited about. And then we'll be in Ann Arbor for one night only. October 4th, Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase, two shows. And then Flyover Fest. I'm so excited about Flyover Fest.

That's the St. Louis one, right? Yeah. I love that one. It's so great. We're doing live dumb people town, and we're working on guests on that, and it's going to be so much. At the page in theater, which is like 700 seats, so it's going to be big. Sunday, the 16th of November. Let's get people out for that.

I think Michigan will be undefeated about the time you guys get to town. I would love it. That'd be fabulous. That's our sketch. Supersclogers.com. Jenny, where can people find you, see you and do a little? Well, I'm going to be at the Lincoln Lodge this Saturday. Is this going to come out by that?

Probably not. Well, you loved it. You love it. She was so good. How much did you love it? Oh, yeah. They loved it so much. Of course they did.

The place burned down afterwards. Oh, no. You weren't that good. Let's go a few weeks out. So in October, first week of October, I'm going to be in Pittsburgh and then Buffalo. Yes. In Columbus. We're in Pittsburgh.

We're in Buffalo. Pittsburgh's at the Sunken Bus Studios. Cool. And then I'm doing some fun little bar stuff because I'm like, I'm going to be in the air. We're going to work some stuff Some new stuff And we're going to brand new hour The hour that's out now is done

It's finalized So now Now you can make the new stuff Where can people find the hour now It's not out We have to record it But it's done That's saying

It's like done Well I like that you finish the hour It's not even out yet And you're working on the next hour That is brilliant That's so smart I don't ever want to tell the jokes That's on the previous hour

I forget So let's record this bitch And let's do it And then, actually, I think it's October 8th, I'm going to be on Dropout TV on their new crowdwork show called Crowd Control. Well, I love this. That's so cool. I'm super excited. Yeah, they do great show.

And then I'm going to be throughout October. I'm going to be, oh, my God, I have so many dates. Where are they all at? Comedy Showcase in Ann Arbor. I'll be there the last week of October. So great. I'm very excited. I'm going to be in Georgetown, Colorado, and Denver, Colorado, the 11th and 12.

Great. And there's some other stuff. Go to my website, everybody. Janie Zernerno.com. Have you been to Ann Arbor? Have you done that room? Yes, I love it. It's the badass.

You go to Zingermans. You get a delicious sandwich. I have not done that. I'm going to tell my daughter to come out. My daughters, they're both there. Are they both there? Yeah. Have them come out.

I know. You would love my oldest daughter so much. She's hilarious. I already love her. Youngest is. Gorgeous. Do they go, do they like to go vintage shopping and thrifting? We're going.

The most. They have a great. antique shop in Ann Arbor. I remember going there years ago. I'm going to put you in touch with Daisy. We're in a party. Tell her and she'll bring a bunch of people. Yeah.

She'll bring people to the show. All right. Let's jump into the story. Okay, this is sent in by Kyle Andrews at late night nachos. I know our people. So our people, the way you do it, just so I let Jenny know is that you, we're still on, all of us are still on X. God bless us all.

Sorry. But you just hashtag dump people town and at Danne Van Kirk at Sklar Brothers. And we know who sent it when. We've got an order in a timeline. It just organizes it that way. Perfect. This is a story about love. Oh, okay.

Kentucky woman accused of totaling X's car by pouring glitter into his AC salt in engine. So good. I mean, that's just so good. Is this a Carrie Underwood song? Oh, my God. I took that glitter to his AC. I think that's Miranda Lambert. Thank you.

No, it's, no. Carry Underwood. That's Carrie Underwood. Thank you. Yes. Miranda Lambert is. That was. weirdest thing ever all right uh we meant to do that yeah yeah Kentucky was squash the violence

a Kentucky woman this is from Richmond Kentucky at WKRC she was like what what what how much was this bubbling how much was this boy doesn't what he did I don't know wait how even start the car to get the AC go and if there was salt in it no I don't know it was it was glitter in the AC salt in the engine salt the engine glitter in the AC yeah it's great song and hey And hate in my heart. Glitter in the engine. Salt in the engine. Hate in my heart.

That's the song, right? All right, here we go. Kentucky was taking to custody after she allegedly totaled her ex's car. Totaled it. Okay. Following an argument. It's not totaled. He could buy a new engine.

He just doesn't want to. I mean. Yeah, but if you're him, you're glad it was. No, the insurance comes through and looks and they're like, it's cheaper. Cheaper to just blast this car. That's true. rates are going up. That's true.

Now there's another piece. So WKRC in Cincinnati, but actually Kentucky, now they're saying according to WDKT, KY TV. There's another one. So now someone else is in this article being like, wait, we also want to be credited because our letters need to be in here too. Citing Madison District Court documents. I'm not going to tell you how old she is. Stephanie Carl Christ.

Call her quist. Caller Quist. Caller Quist. C-A-L-R-Q-U-I-S-T. Caller Chris of Richmond, Kentucky was arrested on Thursday after she was accused of inflicting how much damage over how many days in July? Let's start with the damage.

Whoa, okay. On him or just in general? On the car. I mean, emotional damage, obviously. But like, let's get into the... Well, what did he do? We don't know. Okay. Probably something wrong.

He deserved it. He deserved it. We know he deserved it. I'm going to save five grand. I'm going to go... Guilty until proven, not a piece of shit. That's what I'd say. Great.

Thank you. I'm on his side. What do you say? I said five grand. Calder a sexy car. Did you say the car? Yeah, totaled it. Total the car.

Did you say the car? No. How much damage? Damage to the car. What kind of a car? We don't know what kind of car. He's asking the man. I'll go, I'll go 8,000.

8,000. Dan, your question is like, what kind of a Fierro was it? Yeah. What year? It's kind of a sebring convertible we're talking about. What kind of Impala? What kind of a PT cruiser are we talking about here? It's always an Apollo.

In 1998 to 2003, Impala. Stop. Bage, white. Black trim. How much damage did she do to it? 6,500. $6,500. Get your answers in.

$12,500. What? Over how many days? Wait, so this, like, because it wasn't so overt, because she didn't really key the car. Is this like slowly poisoning? Yes, this is like carcinous and putting it in your mashed potatoes. Oh, my God. Over, I'm going to say, nine days.

Nine days. What do you say? 21 days. three get your answers in she did it over a five day period wow yeah i mean you have to know when he's not there you got to know if you turn on in a scene glitter shot out that is a horrible and great prank i mean it's so good it's so so good it's like i've seen tictox about it uh promoting doing it to ice vehicles oh 100% we're not we're not saying but we're just happened we're not we're not saying to do that no we're not but it is saying to do that yeah

But it is interesting. Like, we're not saying to do that. Just saying that people have said TikTok. It's crazy that people learn how to do that and then do it. Yeah, it's insane. It's like, and I'm sure some people could easily figure out how to do it. We're not saying to do that at all. No one thinks you're saying that.

Everyone thinks that you're saying that it's an interesting hobby. I feel like all these other people. Could be. We're not saying it. So the court documents reviewed by the station alleged that Calorquist committed the following acts. One, pouring glitter in the air conditioning vent. two crack the windshield that's a stand

okay that's old shit come on that's lame you're better than that what are you Nicholson three crack the rear view mirror which isn't that the name the movie and the blowfish album all right crack rear view

four busted the vehicle's radio screen I'll come that felt person so this is a newer car well in my mind again it's a detachable face and you pull it out with all the graphics he holds it like an impala

holds it like a briefcase it's got to be the screen. Remember those? And it had like a million graphics happening. Yeah. A lot of equalizers. A lot of EQ action. A lot of EQ action. Port salt into the vehicle's engine. All right. Now there's a third people reporting. WKYT reported.

So we have a news station. We have a radio station. I don't know what this is, but they want to start reporting on it. Newspaper. They said that Calcas X informed authorities that she previously slashed one of his tires on July 6th. Oh, wow. She will, she is trying so hard to get this man's attention.

But said the other ass for committed. You know what, honey, let's get back together. Yeah. It worked. What if it works? But that happens a lot because clearly something attracted him to her crazy. Correct.

And he loves the crazy. Yeah. So they probably had. You know guys are always like, yeah, right? Yeah. Their guys are always like, I can fix her. Yeah. Yeah, guys are the ones.

Because they're always doing that. he showed up he was covered in glitter and he's like i need to fuck this girl right now i gotta make this right this is a project i can take on uh but she said the other acts he said the other acts were committed after an argument on july 15th after the argument cocker's ex-boyfriend said he walked away doing due to he walked away due to not being able to drive on the slash tire w dk n y who's another whoa dk n y dk n y yeah also red k y tv yeah also red k y jason has said her last name four different ways. And I'll never get it right. I got it. It's

Caller Quist. Caller Quist. Which, by the way, is like... But it might look... It might be easier to hear. Not a podcast, Caller Daddy? Yeah. Caller Quist. According to this station, Caller quits. Caller quits. Call it quits. Caller quits. X had the vehicle. So the ex...

Her ex had the vehicle. Call her an attorney. Toad to Good Year. I don't know what's more fun. This guy trying to figure out that he shouldn't be in a relationship with this girl. Or I was trying to figure out her name. Or Jason trying to figure out what's happening in this article. Great read. Well, to his defense, there are nine different news sources. There are so many different

news sources in here. So the ex let's watch you fight through it more. The ex had it towed to good here where it was determined the total loss of damages estimated $12,464.64 in 96th. She allegedly... I know a guy. You don't need to take it to Goodyear. Come on. We don't know a guy. How does

he not know a guy, right? We can give this car to a stripper, and that way she doesn't have to put the glitter on when she gets to Just turn on the AC. He's going to watch. Shoots her. Two birds with one stone, right, Dan? Yeah.

Two birds with one pole. There you go. Which is also an offer you can get at the joint. CollarQuist. Allegedly told the tow truck driver about what she had done. So, CollarQuest does. Caller Quest does sound like a place you take your car to get fixed. It does.

You got to take it over to CollarQuist? Also, she knew enough to do these things, so maybe she... Understands how to fix it. How to fix it. If he would just ask. That's it. Also, you say things to a tow truck driver. That can't be admissible.

Well, that's tow truck driver privilege. They have to give that confidential. That is your toe truck driver. If you can't say things in front of your toe truck driver. Babe, where are you? And all of a sudden she slides up from under the car and one of those rolling things? Nowhere. Nowhere, nothing.

Let's go. Let's go out. Why don't you drive your car around and see how it goes? She probably knew the tow truck driver. So, okay, well, here's the best part about the tow truck driver. And the driver informed the ex-boyfriend's mother. These people all know They all know each other

They all know each other It is the most codependent Like weirdest Like weirdest family relationship Who co-owns the car So he was like All right Well you co-on the car

So she damaged I feel like this article Should be titled Mother has to deal With her shitty son's Relationship Yes Gone awry

Mother who wants to just take her car to work Now has to deal with There's son's bad relationship. She walks out to her car. Windshield broke. Review mirror broke. Glitter.

Jesus Christ. Salt in the gas thing. Kevin, what did you do? Whose fault is this? I told you to stop dating her. He's like, I tried. He did try. According to the outlets report,

Collar Quist reached out to her ex on social media. He did it another way. Collar Quist, like collared green. Carl Quist. They say, this is spelled differently. It's C-A-R-L instead of C-A-L-R. So the article is also screwing. I love that the art.

Notre Dame coach that had a name similar to me. J. and I did a, there was something we were doing. There were athletes. They were brothers. The first one's name was Travis. No, no, they were, oh, yeah, they got into a fight. Travis. This is a deep cut for you, too.

And there was another one name. They didn't name him, but we said his name should have been. third brother, if they had their brother, should be taveris. And then if they had a fourth brother, it should be tavers. Just the AR keeps moving. That's what. The AR keeps moving in this name. The AR keeps moving. If you looked at this, you would say, originally they said Calerquist.

Now it's Carl Quist. Okay, okay. Reached out to her ex on social media and told him she was stressed out in connection to her pregnancy and apologized for what had happened. So, okay. We're fine now. Oh, so she's pregnant with his? Yeah, with his baby.

Well, she didn't say it with his. She just said with her pregnancy. She is not a sign. We don't know whose it is. Yes. He could just be the guy that's trying to help her out. WDK. Why?

Reported that Carl Quist also sent emails that indicated that she would do the following. One, emails. Okay. Pay for repairs. Okay. To give him another car. What? Okay.

How? And then three, give him her car. Oh. So she's being reasonable about this. I think she knows she's screwed up. Like this is somebody who's like hat and hand. I'll do one of these three things if you don't press charges. Her father also allegedly reached out to her ex-wife.

So you're right. Everyone knows each other in this small town. Right, right. Said he'll make sure Stephanie pays him back for all the damage to the car. I'll make sure she does it. The fact that you could have been saying, Stephanie. Instead of all her whole time. It only comes up at the end.

No, it was Stephanie was before. We knew it was Stephanie. Caller Quist. Carl Quist. Stephanie will take care of it. I'll make sure of it, he said. Stephanie. Thirst quencher.

That he was certain they could come to a better solution than Stephanie taking a felony charge so nobody gets hurt anymore. Right. Felony's big. Then that baby's a criminal, right? Isn't that hell? There you go. Accomplice.

Yeah. Baby's an accomplice. Baby didn't stop her. Yeah. This is the definition of original sin. Stop. During an interview with the police. Carl Quist allegedly admitted to pouring

glitter into the AC vents and damaging the windshield, but she said her ex was, quote, overdue for the other damage per WKJ. Still never saying what he's done. Wait, the salt, like overdue for the salt? Yeah, salt in the cracker. I will admit I did the glitter, but

the salt he had coming. Yeah. For other things we have yet to even, she never even told it anymore. You would have done it too. That doesn't make any sense. No, right. Like this one, I will take fine. You can get, you can dig me on this one. I'll take credit to that. He fucking deserved

that salt. I mean, or is she saying that salt was already in there? It was overdue to check it. That's the world punishing it. I actually, I am, I do have to go get the salt checked in my engine. You have to. Guys, that's what today's episode is about. You need to get a mammogram. Get a mammogram

whether you think you're not and check the salt in your engine. Please. She was taken to Madison County Detention Center on a, we're going to guess the Bond and we'll appear in court on Monday per the outlet. All right, let's guess the bond and then we're going to guess her age and get out of here. $700.

$700? $2,000. I think $5,000. She did a lot of damage to this. Aaron, you want to throw a guess out there, buddy? Yeah, but they probably know the cop. Yeah, right. He knows that.

Cop was like, listen, I'm friends with your dad. Tell your, the tow truck. All right, go ahead, Jay. I think $25,000. $25,000. $12,000. Right, I said it was a lot. It's almost the same as the car.

And how old is Stephanie Carl Quist? Oh, 19. 19? That's not a lot. bad guess that's really not a bad guess i'm gonna go 25 23 23 aaron you can throw one out there too buddy 37 all right get your answers in when we come back dan will finish uh i'll find out what dan has going on and how you can follow him stephanie don't call me calerquist carlquist is 31 years what her saturn has returned and she's point glitter that's true that's why she's being crazy

someone said 25 i said 20 and then someone said it's a clip season is upon us it is a clip season so it's kind of not her fault. It's not. And she has a baby inside her. She does. She's kind of crazy. That baby said I should do it. I got hormones raging.

All right, guys, that's story number two down in the books. Daniel, can you tease us as to what we might hear? Nothing a mason jar. I love it. I love it. I love it. I've been waiting for it. That's my wedding gift.

That's another Miranda Lambert song. We'll be right back with our last story of Don People's Town with Jenny Zagrino. Hey. Stick around. Make a sound, hunger down. People Town Hey guys, welcome back to the show Before Daniel, you jump into that story

Why don't you jump into a little dates action Let them know. Hotcast, let them know. Go to Daniel vancirk.com. I will be at the High Plains Comedy Festival. Amen. I will also be at Flyover Comedy Festival. Yes.

I am doing a show the 22nd of November for Habitat for Humanity in Bloomington, Indiana. Nice. I will probably go fun to the Wisconsin. an Indiana game that day. So fun. Stay sober

and do a show that night. Great. And... I guarantee you'll get 10 minutes of material at the game. Oh, yeah. That's your opening... Tailgating. Everything else is at Daniel Van Kirk.com. Listen to my podcast. Dumb PeopleTown that I've been doing for over a... You're on this podcast.

And you should also check out the Midnight Air, which is an overnight radio podcast that drops the beginning of the week. Music to my ears. I go to sleep to it. I go to sleep so chill. All right, everything's at daniel van kirk.com. Let's jump into it. Okay, this is a very, very short story.

Great. Possibly the shortest story I've ever done in Tom People Town. I'm ready for it. Three sentences long. Oh, it's perfect. The headline is meth in a mason jar. Uh-huh. Sented by Susie Godboldt.

At Susie Godboldt. New person to send in. I don't believe in Godbold. No? I do believe in God. I'm like Bill Mar. More of a God-I-Talix sort of person. I question whether God-Bold exists.

I believe in God-Italics. But that's right. That's right. All right. Deputies responded to responded to the report of a disturbance on Chichot.

How would you go with C-H-I-C-O-T? Chichot. Chichot. Chico. Chicago. Chicago. Chicago. I think it's pronounced Chicago.

Chiquot. Whatever. Road. Shicket. Contact. Hey. Hey. Contact was made.

Watch it. Sounds like a bug. Sounds like a bug that bites you on your ankles. Yeah. The chick-contact was made with salient. Mayfield who admitted to smashing a mason jar over her boyfriend's head come what is happening in this world wait what are men doing thank you to deserve this right this takes place in what was he wearing i think is real the question you see the pants he was wearing he deserved a mason jar to the head

chinos this takes place in Arkansas and that might be the most Arkansas shit yeah that is that's just the nearest thing for her to grab was a mason jar was a mason there are people in Arkansas who have never had a drink out of a regular glass. No. They've only sipped out of mason jars. Yeah, or whatever is at the seven. Here's my question. As she was about to hit him over the head and he saw it coming and she was reaching for it.

Not my good glass. I was going to say, not the meth, not the meth. Anything but the meth. Meanwhile, mason jar is thick. And I know I'm like just thinking about it. It actually does. Did she smash it? The famous ones are the balder.

We don't know this. We haven't even gotten a meth. Okay. We're just at the violence. It's meth and a mason jar. jar. Oh, I thought the meth was in a mason jar. Isn't that a kid's book?

If you give a mouse a mason jar, you get a You're going to get meth. Meth and a mason jar is a bert Reynolds movie from 1976. With Sally Mayfield in it. Yes. Bert Reynolds and Sally. Sally Mayfields. Okay. There's so much they leave out. At some point the cops show up because the next sentence, it's literally just three

sentences. Yeah. So I said. No. Maybe you can't start it. It's actually four sentences. So I says. Yeah, four sentences.

I was right. So I says contact was made with Sally Mayfield who admitted to smashing a mason jar over her boyfriend's head. While putting on her shoes. Wait, what? Some Arkansas shit. Okay. Deputies observed. No, not putting on her shoes would be Arkansas.

So let me try to break some glass, but let me also be barefoot. While putting on her shoes. In a kitchen. Deputies, which is capitalized and I don't think should be, observed a clear baggie in the shoe. When asked about the baggie Sally Mayfield stated Well there is my bag of meth that I've been looking for She's like trying to be funny about it

Or hiding in plain sight I honestly think she really was just like Oh my God there it is yes Thank you deputy What if what if she got it Trying to be served Right she was being so obvious that they wouldn't check There is my meth that I was looking for

And they're like yeah that's not what it is You don't want to claim possession Dan, but she's like thinking she's like, yeah, I murdered him. Yeah, right. Oh, sure. The guy who says that I love. And that's my meth in that shoe. There's my meth.

I'll just take this and throw it out back. You're crazy, deputy. I'm going to call your mom tomorrow. I'm going to flush. These aren't even my shoes. Is that your mouth? Yes, but these aren't even my shoes. I'll throw this out.

Mayfield was charged accordingly and booked at the detention center. That is it. I don't know. I don't know if they. are in some sort of like thousand words. So again. Is he alive? Again, this is. Are you referencing the Eddie Murphy movie where he is a thousand words left to sleep?

Why would you write a story that's four fucking sentences? You don't even talk about the cops showing up. No. You don't talk about the state she's in. You don't talk about the victim. You just go. She smashed the mason jar over his head. Cops come.

And guys, I googled Sally Mayfield, Arkansas, meth, Mason jar. This is the only ride up. This is a puzzle. I was like, can I find out how old she is? No. Is there any other statements? No.

How's the guy doing? In Arkansas, they're like, what do you need to know from me? Yeah. Mason jar, meth, cops, shoes. I mean, there's a lot for us because we're good at this. Yes. But not enough. I have no idea.

I don't know what he did. So I would now go to you, Jenny. What is the lesson in all of this? I think the lesson is don't have so many mason jars around. Thank you. Too thick. They're too thick. And, you know, okay, I'm imagining the shoe she's putting on is a flip-flop.

The meth is just sitting on top of a flip-flop. That's so true. Also another. Or a crock. Also, another country song. If you're going to break some glass, make sure you're wearing shoes. Oh, 100%. That is.

Yeah, because she's impulse match. Yeah. If you're breaking glass over your boyfriend. head, make sure you're wearing shit. I'm like, is she on the way out? She's just like, yeah, I smashed it over his dumb head. He's like putting her shoes on.

Oh, my man. There's the meth I was looking for. Oh, she's telling the cops what happened. Anyway, so he told me I wouldn't do it. And oh, hey. There it is. They asked her.

So she didn't even recognize what's in the other guy? What's with that bag? Oh, my God. Y'all, I would have put my shoe on and walked around with a match. You imagine that? How dumb that would be. The meth bag is a crock charm

You mean a widget or what are those things called? Yeah, a crock charm. All right, that's story three. This is Jenny Zagrino. Jenny Zagrino. Go see you live. Go see her in Ann Arbor after you see us in Ann Arbor. Dot com.

Oh, yeah, jennysmurna.com. And thanks for joining this show and thanks for being a part of it is a great listenership. We love you guys. And oh, snap, we got to get back to work. Peace.