Dumb People Town - Jesse Thorn - Thorn In My Side That I Like

Episode Date: October 7, 2025

Radio and podcast host Jesse Thorn (Jordan Jesse Go!, Bullseye, Judge John Hodgman) stops by as Daniel describes how a man with drugs asked the police for protection, Jason explains why a French woman sued the company that paid her for 20 years to do nothing, and Randy warns wearing a hotdog costume while vandalizing a car, and so much more! To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/DPT. To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit Hims.com/DPT. 

Dan and Ran and Jay will share Tales of folk so unaware they lack in grace And sometimes choose the life they choose We'll make the news Breaking down each epic fail in Florida There's half-rise mail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast jam

With co-host Arme and Dan Then don't be a jerk Because when the music quiz the funny hits in We are going to take you down. Stick around. Make a sound. Come you're down. It's Dumb People Town.

Hey, Donnie's welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population. Population Thorn. Like a thorn in our sides that we like. Every Jesse has a thorn. Hi, Jesse. Like a thorn in your side that you like. It's reminding me of good things in our life.

I'm glad that's here. What is that nudging me? What is that beautiful pain I feel in my side? It's Jesse Thorne. How are you, bud? I'm well, Rand. in you. I'm good. It's so nice to see you, so nice to have you here to play with us. You usually were playing in your studio and now we got you in our studio. I'm happy anytime I'm in Burbank,

California, right? I'm going to go get some model trains, some goth shoes, and some chili, some Exotica records. Where did you grow up? I'm from San Francisco. That's how I thought of the Bay Area. Yeah, dude, he's all Bay. He's all giants all the time. Did anyone else, Burbank lived in a certain part of your mind as a youth before. Johnny Carson, Carson. Carson, but then there was like It seemed like any time you'd see a sweepstakes for something, it was like Burbank, California. So it's weird what it becomes when you live here versus what it is in your childhood. It still is a weird place.

Right. It is. So there's still a magic to it and a suburb. To those who aren't from here. Yeah, it is exactly the thing that I imagined it to be, except that I didn't know there was also a martial arts museum. Wait, hang on a second. What's it called?

It's called the Burbank Martial Arts Museum, I think. I mean, what is hanging in there? It's not called haia. For a while, had lower back pain and was going to a physical therapist in Burbank and like within sight line of the entrance to the physical therapy there was a martial arts museum there was a gun store there was a model train store yeah there was a women's clothing store that was never open it was only open by appointment right uh two of the best Hollywood or sorry Halloween stores

are out here oh for sure along magnollias so it's seasonal shopping and martial arts and gun stores. Don't forget the store that's only books about airplanes. Oh, yeah. See, yes. You need Porto. This is a specialty city.

I went to Porto's and got it. Well, everybody hits a point living in L.A. where you realize 80% of the businesses you see are just money laundering. Oh, yeah. There's like the Peruvian restaurant by my house that I've never seen anyone walk into or out of.

Ever. Light is always on. I mean, that's better than if you saw people walk in but no one ever walking out. Fair. Where are they going? It is. There's Portos, and that's a portal.

That's a portal. I grew up in San Francisco in the Mission District, and for a while, there was a store that sold Brazilian things. And I thought, there is no question. This is a money-long-story store. Like, how many kaveanas can you sell? When we were in New York, there was a store underneath the surf reality, which was one of the sort of performance art spaces that the alternative comedy scene kind of,

of was born out of in way downtown Allen Street. They never had anything in this. It was like one in, it was like a bodega, but like, they really never had anything in there. It was like one box of, uh, laundry detergent, and mac and cheese, and then a mac and cheese. Of a brand you've never heard of. And if folks don't know, alternative comedy is when you say thorn in my side, but then you flip it by saying that I like it.

That's alternative to comedy. Well, all right, we've got, the world is getting dumber. Yes, always is. And we still cover it. Dan's got a story. Dan's got a story. Ready? Yes.

Headline. Man with drugs asks law... Can you help me launder this? Man with drugs ask law enforcement for protection. Help me against me! Help me make my life better. Sent it by Nick Tanb. Tangborn.

T-A-N-G-B-O-R-N-T-A-N. That's a new one. Tang-B-B-R-N-C-Hat. At Jack Pine Social. Thank you, sir. I'm intrigued by both the name. And I love when a name is so far from the handle so far from the name, I'm just in true. You know, like, if you're reading a book or you're watching a TV show or movie,

and there's that point where both people are criminals and someone screws the other person over. And they go, what are you going to do, call the cops? Exactly. I love when someone goes, I think I might. Yeah, I might. I might just call the cops. Which ruins the plot entirely for the show. But in this case, the guy was like, I know who can help me here.

My favorite moment in the Heath Ledger, Joker, Batman thing is when Batman's holding him over the side of a building. And Heath Ledger is like, you're screwed. You're completely screwed. The Joker's screwed. And he's like, let me go. And then you become me. Yeah. And he can't.

What if, for one moment, Batman's like, I'm cool with that. Just drop to later bitch. It just drops him. Because technically, you're, I'll forget about this. You already are him. But that's a whole, we can get a whole bunch of bats. You're already. Harrison County, Texas.

An East Texas man is behind bars after official. say he initially asked law enforcement for help after not paying his supplier for drugs. So he's the bad guy. He wants the cops to shake down this guy. Well, on his behalf, because he didn't pay his supplier

and now he wants protection from the supplier. Yeah, it's like you hitting your brother and then complaining to your mom that like, he's going to hit me. Yes. Which is appropriate logic for that age. For a five-year-old.

Not a grown adult. According to the Harrison County Sheriff's Office, on Thursday, around 240 p.m. Thanks for the details. Yeah, you know. Exactly. Around. Specificity is the soul of narrative. With a vague.

Around 246. I love when they're like around 246. I love when they give me one of those. A man identified as Pedro Serrano. Loved him in Major League. I knew some baseball, some sort of like blown save pitcher. Joe Quas coming. Pedro Serrano went to their headquarters, claiming

to be in danger, quote, he asked to speak with members of our joint Harrison County violent crimes and narcotics task force. That is so specific. He's walked into Best Buy, and he knows exactly who he needs to. I need to talk to Dave and the Geeks Squad right now. He's like, I need

to talk to the person who sells toner cartridge. It's Thursday, and I know his lunch isn't for 45 minutes. Get him. We have time. He's in the back right now. How do you know? I'm tracking all these movements. I know where he is at approximately 2.40s. 2.42. Joint Harrison County

Violent Crime and Narcotics Task Force. And he asks for all of it. Bring him out. You got to get that down. He's like, don't get me one county. No, joint. I can't do it if it's not a joint. If it's not two counties working together, I can't.

I'm going to need interfacing. Yes, because he was concerned for his safety. The HS, the HCSO said in a statement, quote, task force investigators escorted Serrano to the sheriff's office interview room where they began interviewing him. Yeah, yeah. At one point he was like,

I don't know why you guys are asking me all these questions. I came here with things. I need you. I need from you. I got a to-do list here. Yes. This is like when our buddy John Bush

comedian's so funny, Minneapolis, good friend of Swartons, he's such a good comedian. He was talking about how he was smoking pot in his hotel room. He hears a knock on what he thinks is his door but it's the police knocking on another door across the hall he opens up his door and all this smoke comes out is like hello and they're like what

get over you're now in trouble and his joke was I put two fingers up my own ass just to get ready just to get the party started just get the party started um he says uh I need help with you guys they take him to the interview room during the interview the HCSO says Serrano said he had a large quantity of narcotics in his vehicle which he parked right over the Outside. It's over there. Authorities say Serrano was seeking protection from law enforcement after not paying, wouldn't it be seeking protection from law enforcement against the other guys. After not paying his narcotics dealer.

As the interview concluded and investigators began arresting Serrano for the narcotics, he began fighting with them inside the interview. He felt so betrayed. I'm thinking about the parking. Do you think that they have a parking spot for a narcotics vehicle? Yeah, you're right. It's like a grocery store. It's like the 15-minute pickup zone.

Yes. Call at this point and we'll come and get the narcotics from your trunk. Yeah. Yeah. I'm in spot three. Do you know how many times I parked in the law enforcement spot at Gelson's and said undercover? Dan, that works. I'm joking. A hundred percent work.

Dan, you could sell that. Yeah, I kind of feel like, Dan, I don't, I mean, I don't have my paint with a broad brush here. I know, but Dan, you absolutely could be. Well, I still have the walk. I used to be a federal agent. So I can still. I can still amble. Give a good shoulder shoulder.

Yeah, I can do a good general point. Right. Yeah, we'll close this area off, Gus. You just lift up your wallet. I got a wallet here. If you say the phrase, we're establishing a perimeter. Yeah. There's no one's going to question you.

Can I tell you something? When I ordered, so on the Judge John Hodgman podcast where I'm the bailiff. Which we did a, which I love doing. You were wonderful guests on the program. I wear a bailiff outfit. I watched you get into it. Thank you. I gave you the opportunity.

I leered at you as you got. Did you enjoy the show? I loved it. More than the show. Lines were open for a reason. More than the show. I wore, I wear, it's actually a fire department dress uniform because bailiffs wear like Sandy Brown and I didn't want to wear them with you.

But I ordered a badge that says Judge John Hodgman podcast, bailiff, you know, whatever on it. And when I ordered the badge, I ordered it from a badge company. And I had to fax in a form. signed that said I wouldn't use it to impersonate a law enforcement officer. You need to make that claim. They only take it by fax. Really? I was like, can I mail it in?

Can I email it in? They're like, fax. I had to find a fax machine to fax it in. I went to like a place. You'd have to. I had to go to a place. I had to like call seven kinkos and find one that still had a fax machine in the back. And you know where that place was?

Burbank. Yeah, exactly. For sure, for sure. And the International Fax Museum. So they started arresting him. He begins fighting with that. It's actually a domestic museum, but go ahead. Inside the interview room,

Serrano continued to resist even after several H-C-S-O investigators responded to assist. He was eventually placed into custody and escorted to the Harris County Jail. Yeah. Hey. You're already there. Protection. No, that's what he wanted on some level, probably. The H-C-S-O reports investigators executed a search warrant of Serrano's vehicle, revealing how

many grams of methamphetamine? Oh, man. Do you think he had in his car? This is a methamphetamine project. Totally. 100%. This definitely, this has

to undertones of methamphetamine. Is three grams a lot? I'm kidding. I don't know. I want to bump it up to pounds, but I mean, maybe... I don't even know how many grams are enough? 80 grams.

80 grams? Okay. My mother once got arrested with like a hundred hits of acid in her car. Oh my God. She's grateful, dead fan?

She, no, she, she likes parliament. She's the border. But she was driving in Washington, D.C. He was actually in the passenger seat with a friend. And apparently their car, I found this out when my mom went and did jury duty at dinner. She was like, they asked if we'd ever been convicted of a felony. And I said, convicted or arrested? Oh, my God.

And then you're like, mom? I'm like, forked off. And continue. So she, her car got surrounded by other cars. By cop cars. They pulled her and her friend out of the car, searched the car, found all the asset, arrested them, took them to jail. It turns out that they were driving the same kind of car that someone who had just robbed a bank was driving. They thought that they were going to get money.

But her attorney at the time was her first husband who came and said, this is unreasonable search and seizure because they did not match the description of the bank robbers. So she did not go to jail. but she was mad in 208 when she told me this story about a thing that happened in 1967 or whatever she was mad that they had kept the acid uh-huh she was like how dare that she should get it back she should get it back she should get it back to normal that might have been before a time when acid was illegal no i believe it was shortly after it was illegal fine 65 how many grams jason or just i'm going to say 100 80 100 Jesse Thorne And I say 54 grams.

Okay. They found approximately 825 grams. That's a lot of grams. That's a lot of great. When do you make it into pounds? Now granted, I don't know what a gram is, but go ahead. I don't either, but it's a lot of them. Yeah.

Grams. Serrano was charged with the following crimes, possession of a controlled substance, resisting arrest, and search. Law enforcement is a unique career. This is a quote from some sheriff. I love people have the name for the job they were supposed to, You got the name for the hat you're wearing. I swear to God, when I say this name to you, we could shut off these cameras and write up a pitch talk about a TV show with this cop.

T.J. Hooker. Sheriff, B.J. Fletcher. No. Uh-huh. No. That's already a character named in a 1970s cop show. B.J. Fletcher. Is whatever. The Fletch.

Yes. Not Fletch. The Fletcher lives. Does it say what kind of hat he was wearing? Like 100%. See? You're all. Yes. It's definitely one where he has to take two hands to pull it off.

Yeah, for emphasis. Because he doesn't have the glasses to do it with. Could be, but is it like one of those up? Is it like, you got to clear the deck? Is it one of those? Well, because of the hair. Ranger hats. Or is it?

He's got to go up. Is it a Western hat? And he lays it down. Now it would be this, Jesse. I wonder if somebody met BJ Fletcher as a kid. It was like, just so you know, you're either going to be a cop or you're going to own a business or you're going to own a bar named after you're right that is it by the way dumb people town on youtube hit like and subscribe you're gonna want to see you're gonna want to see the hat

we're doing a lot of great hat work mine hat work sheriff b j fletcher said law enforcement is a unique career and every day is different and this episode clearly shows i am thankful these narcotics landed in our lap instead of the streets are the lives of our community because we got so high at the christmas party none of my staff thank you we're injured during the struggle of trying to arrest this. Okay, but, all right, I'm all proud that they did this, but this is a little like when you

get a job and your agent's like, we got it for you. You're like, no, you didn't, I got it. Yeah. Like, he drove the drugs to the police station. I've never gotten a job, but I think I follow. Right. But are you, is that a testament to your policing that even the drug

dudes are like, you know who doesn't just serve but also protects? We do. Our local police. We protected this guy. I mean, I think it is reflective of the mindset where when they lay all the drugs out on the table. That's a big show. And then they say this is $75 billion worth of drugs.

And you're like, what online calculator are they? You're getting the worst deal. Yeah. No, but there is, I can't agree with Randy Moore about this. Like, you don't get to do a victory lap when the drugs. were delivered to you. You didn't knock down a door to get them. Cops are paying

Aeroon prices for drugs. They are. Local jokes get you local work. Blaine Capatch said that one. Yes. 100%. He's right. All right.

We'll get out of here with this. Best local comic out there. How old is Pedro Serrano? What do you put the age of a man who bought 180? Who knows to go to the cops? 825 grams of methamphetamine. 800 and 22.

825 from his supplier, didn't want to pay the guy, then got afraid of that guy. kept it in his car you got to keep it in your car went to the cops they gave me protection started fighting when they said well you're under arrest yeah he's uh 32 years old 32 i'm gonna say this man is 24 24 jason scler okay i should explain i don't know what a year is but go okay continue it's like a gram yeah one of you is exactly oh i'm staying at 32 we get to play the game who do you think is right i think i'm right okay good everyone's staying

Pedro Serrano is, to close out story number one, then I'll tell you what I'm up to, and Jason will take it away in story number two. Pedro Serrano, though, is 32 years hard. Yay, I'll take it. There you go. That's a prime kingpin age. Right?

He's really had time to come into his power. He's good at the getting the drugs. Something moon is rising. I feel like it is hard to be a kingpin before you hit paramenopause. Right. I agree. His meth moon is rising. All right, guys.

take a break we'll come back jesse thorne is with us we'll find out what he's got going on how you can support him listen to his podcast he mentioned one already judge john hodgeman his interview show is fantastic too and then we'll hear what dan's got it's dumb people town we'll be right back stick around make a sound hunger down it's don't people town all right guys it's no secret i love my pets i love my two dogs i love them with my children out of the house now it's just me and the dogs and my wife is working so much that like it is me and the dog and the dogs. They are my companions. They're my compatriots. They are, I would do anything for these animals. They are like people to me. Well, that's great because today we have a quick message from today's

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Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Featured products include compound drug products, which the FDA does not approve of or verify for safety effectiveness or quality prescription required. See website for details restrictions and important safety information. Stick around make a sound, come you're down. It's don't people town.

Hey, y'all, welcome back to the show before we get into the great Jesse Thorne. Daniel, let these damn townies know. I know you have some great gigs where they can see you. I do. I want to make sure that phone out. I'm going to see if I can remember while you're doing this and pulling the phone out. Some

have changed. While you're doing this and you're finding them. Let me just say, Dan has a wonderful podcast here on this network. I do. The midnight air. I want everyone to check it out. It is like, I have started listening to podcast to go to sleep. And yours is one that I really, an overnight radio podcast. I love it. It's so soothing. You do great lists. Soft listening. Yeah. The bread list. I'm trying to be Delilah without the music. You're amazing. Or Tesh. You guys ever listen to John Tesh's radio show? No. I'll listen to it all summer at the cabin. He's on weekdays from three to eight and then five to eight on Saturdays, and what he does is he jumps in between songs and tells you, a study was done

recently, finds out kids who do their homework prior to going to school, actually get better grades and people who do the kids who do their grades or their work the night before. Oh, my God. It's just a very, like, do you imagine him doing the podcast in? Tash crush is it in a tuxedo coat with tails. At a piano. Oh, thank you. Can you believe it?

Here's hauling out. Exactly. 100%. 100%. So, uh, somewhere, if I can fall somewhere close to or in between Delilah and Tash, I'm right. But the midnight air is a fun little show. Check it out if you want something to just relax and listen to. Dates. Dates.

Dates. We want dates. September 3rd, I am going to be in Richmond, California. I heard of it. Oh, you visiting my mom? Yeah, I will, for sure. Oh, my gosh. Bring the acid.

Bring the ass. And then in the fifth and six, I'll be in Eureka, California at Savage Henry's Comedy Club. I had a date that I have to move, so I apologize for anybody who had tickets. We'll take care of you for the 13th in New Orleans. And then I will be. Nalins, go ahead. That's what I call it. It's my thing.

High Plains Comedy Festival, the 18th through the 20th. Everything's up at Daniel Vankirk.com. Plus, don't forget, we're getting close to live Dump People Town. Flyover Fest. Flyover Festival. And it's at the pageant. Huge theater in St. Louis. You got to fill this bad boy out.

It's like 700 seats. There will be a Greenlee for anyone. Oh, Greenlee will be there. Wants to make sure they're going to have a good time. Come from far and why. Yeah, and then I'm probably doing. That's all weekend for that festival as well. Of course you are.

But everything's up at Daniel Van Kirk. You're staying at our house? What's having you do? I don't know. I'll probably say that cool little authors. Are you staying at my mom's house in Richmond? The Cheshire? If she'd have me?

100%. Cheshire and you go to the Cheshirean. I imagine wherever they put me. That's where I was last year. I know. I just always am like, Dan, come stay with that. Jesse Thorne.

You have podcasts. The Judge John Hodgman show that we did with you about twins. it was so as twins I'm like only you guys could come up with something that was so interesting and played upon the things we know about our twinness that digs way deeper than just the surface stuff I loved it the case was if I'm not mistaken it was what kind of prank is okay to play with your twin with your twin and because one of them wanted to do prank and the other one was like I don't like it it was great yeah because we got into the whole thing of like If you do a prank that's fun, fun is fun, don't make it hacky because as comedians, we really are very sensitive to that stuff. Oh, it's a great episode. You should listen to it. I loved it.

Also, Bullseye. Bullseye is coming up on its, this is my NPR interview show. This fall, our 25th anniversary. Unbelievable. I have been doing it since I was 19 years old in college at UC Santa Cruz. How are you a better interviewer now than when you were 19th? Oh, I'm definitely worse. No, I'm a hundred years.

100% that's what I wanted to hear. No, but you've interviewed unbelievable people in the breath of the show. Yeah, we had some catastrophes in the early days. These days, everything goes smoothly. We once interviewed Dustin Diamond screech from saying, may he rest in peace? Eh. Okay. He just, the thing that I remember is he had math instructional, chess instructional videos and a math rock band.

And we're like, we are going to ask him about these things. Right. And then he did. Would not answer questions about them. So then we're like, all right, we're going to ask him questions about the hit television show, saved by the bell. The college would not answer questions. What do you want to talk about? Is stand-up?

He's so he was doing stand-up in town. God. So he starts telling these like joke book jokes about people in wheelchairs. And we're like, oh, wow. We're like, oh, wow. Oh, boy. Why don't we talk about your act? And he goes, this is my act.

Oh, God. And we're like, well, got to go. Yeah, hat off. And then out of there. Yeah. Amazing. So 25 years, that's amazing. We've been on it.

Yeah, we guys have been on it. I love the bullseye that we did. It's fantastic. Is there anything planned for? Are you doing like a retrospective? We're doing it. We're doing a month of retrospective. Jordan Morris, who I do Jordan Jesse Go, my comedy podcast with.

And our college buddy Eugene, Gene O'Neill, who used to do. Great playwright. A sound of Young America with us. Fantastic playwright. Now best known for his plays. But Gene and Jordan and I, who were the original hosts of the show when I was in college, We're going to do an episode of the NPR version together. Great.

And we're going to do live shows in L.A., New York, and one in Santa Cruz. Oh, lovely. I just found out my friend Glenn Washington from Snap Judgment on public radio is going to come down to Santa Cruz. Yay. We're going to have a really good time celebrating it because I was like, wow. It's a big deal. 25 years. This is what, if there's young people who are listening out there, this is what, this is my camera.

This is my camera. I just want young people to know. know that this is the kind of thing that you can achieve if you're afraid to try anything new. Yeah, I love it. Just 25 years. It's called staying in a rut and loving it. Yeah. I love it.

Just a rut like a little piggy, like a little nasty piggy. So all those I, Jordan Jesse go, Judge John Hodgman, all this under a larger umbrella of your podcast network, which is the maximum fun.org. A worker-owned cooperative. It's out all of our podcast network. You guys, and you guys do, you do fantastic, like NPR. Podcasting Hall of Fame, baby. Yeah, you guys, you are in it.

You're in it all the way. Come at me, Roger Clemens. Yeah, that's right. Come at me with your son. All right, Jay, you ready? I got a story. Here we go. Seriously, though, don't come at me.

Don't come at me. I'm a really scary dude. He only has drugs in his car. Plus, I'm not a teenage girl. Don't come at me. There it is. Don't come on me. Sent in by Jim Stebbins.

Is that new? No. At Jimmy 82473. I think you could be Jimmy. Come on. There's always been Jim Stebbins. Isn't he be Jimmy? I'm not going to tell him to change his thing, but Jim Stebbins should be Jimmy

Eight World. Oh, yeah, that's good. Should it be? Yeah. Jimmy Eight World. Alternative comedy. Okay, here we go. Or Steven to the streets.

That I like, that I love, that I love the Thornis said. French woman sues company that paid her to do nothing for 20 years. That's right. Is there anything more French? I like that it starts with Frenchwoman. I don't think there is. I don't think there is a headline that will not amuse that starts with Frenchwoman. Probably the first time we've had.

I don't know. French woman goes to bank. I want to know what that story is. French woman showers. Is there a way to say French woman without saying it with derision? Do you think this is, French woman? Do you think that this is like a New York Times style section article about why French women are so glamorous?

It's because they're always suing their employers. Also, why are French women so thin? They do nothing. Yeah. And she's now suing her employer? How long? 20 years. She worked.

Of doing nothing. Yeah, I probably should have held that out. But, okay, here we go. No, that's fine. A French woman sued her former employer for assigning her no work despite paying her full salary for 20 years. Lawrence Vans Wausenhove. She's mad she didn't earn it. Yeah.

No, she's like, you're not giving me the respect I deserve. Correct. Even people who do nothing think that they deserve more respect. Shout out to French people know how to live, man. Yeah, right? If you want to live, go on strike for a while. Right? Yeah.

And still get paid. complain about it. You get to hang out with the homies. It's great. Hey, what are you doing? Nothing. So you're working? Yeah. Spokesime SAG eligible. She's filed a lawsuit against Orange, a large telecommunications company accusing it of intentionally barring her from working after she tried to get transferred to a different part of the same firm because of her disability. Okay. Well, the disability part. That makes sense. Sure, but also you're getting paid for nothing. All right. In 1993, Ms.

Rossenhove reportedly joined the telecommunication company as a secretary and human resources representative, wonderful. Which accommodated her partial paralysis and epilepsy. Good on the company. Good. Great on the company. Sure. But the HR part, that's where she's going to know how to sue. Correct.

In 2002, she tried to get a transfer within the company and was approved. Okay. So now the worm turns. Right. Miss Wassenhove has alleged that the firm stopped assigning her tasks at this time. due to her inadequate performance in the new position. Yeah. So do you think that they thought...

We can't fire her because they bought her a standing desk. That shouldn't have happened. Yeah. But do you think that they thought if we deny her request to transfer? We're going to get in trouble for that because she's going to say... So let's let her transfer, but then we just won't have her do anything. But like, why don't you then if she comes to you with this say, okay, do a report about... Like, just get her doing stuff that you don't use.

Or it's like, well, she can't. sue for stuff that they don't use. It's like wet hot American summer where the kids doing the radio show and then they pan down and it's not plugged in. Yeah. Just let her do the radio show that's not plugged in. Do a podcast about the... I've been doing that for 25 years. I know what you're talking about. You're in good company.

Is that plugged in? Okay. However, despite this, Ms. Woshenhover's employer did not stop paying her salary. They can't pay her. You're getting... This is like being a teacher at age 70. A report by the son claims now that Ms. Wossohnhove finds her situation very hard to bear it's really hard to get paid it's really hard to get paid what is hard to bear i mean

i can understand if she's like look i want she feels disrespectful i want to be useful i want to do things so why can't she sit down instead of suing why can't you sit down with your company and say like just give me something to do i was much happier when i was doing all these podcasts and crap while sitting at the front desk of the trust for public land not working yeah yeah uh then i am at my own house yeah trying to do it yeah exactly if i'm at my house i just want to play out of the park baseball instead of yes doing my work if i'm at work not working you want to do the work you want to do the work i want to do i'm going to go throwback so far our neighbor brad wallace had the greatest are you throwing back all the way to wallace yeah way to wallace all right to the wallace's you know the

walls so from the windows to the wallace's uh-huh to the sweat drips down from my ballises so they had a game it was a baseball game where you spun a week you're talking about all-star baseball yes you spin the wheel and like babe ruth was a card in there like a circle and a big one in the pie chart for home runs I know about all-star baseball you can't out nerd me I was like please tell me you play that okay good all right well she does she wants to do that and said okay the report claimed initially an orange employed her as a civil servant but due to her condition miss wosanova was offered a secretary position to accommodate her health needs. Yeah, we're trying to help you out.

The company conducted an occupational medicine report confirming that the position was not suitable for Ms. Wossohnhove that added into the report. They said that. After this, the firm put Ms. Wasanova on standby, which no one likes to fly standby, I ain't much on Wasanova. Although, you know, once in a while they'll, like, put you in first class unexpected. Right.

So standby isn't the worst thing. and before eventually offering her retirement due to her disability. They're doing anything they can to get her out. The company put her on sick leave. They're like, what do we have? This is like Milton in office space, but altruistic. Right. The company cares. Yeah, they kept moving him and they took his stipular.

However, the company continued to pay her full salary while this Wassenhove was not assigned any work to do. How many meetings do you think happened about her? Oh, my God. What is this woman? What is this woman think she is? A cop who murdered someone? That's social satire, folks.

A priest calling herself an outcast secretary. You're not an outcast. They're finding ways for you to continue to get paid. They're just paying you. Yeah, they're just paying you. Ms. Watson would claim... Being outcast secretary does sound like a hard job. Yeah, that does.

I know. Or would you be like big boys assistant? Again, a job with not a lot to do for a lot. I work for Andre 3000. I take all his emails and I ask. You're an outcast secretary. Yes. If you're big boys' assistant, you've got to feed those owls.

That's fair. He's got owls. I got owls to feed. He's not, man. I got all these damn owls to feed. There we go. In 2015, she filed a complaint to the government and high authority for the fight against discrimination, but not much change. Yeah, because you don't have a case.

Right. You don't have a freaking case. This I love that. They really covered their ass. Because they're trying to be really nice. Like, the company's like, look, we. They're just trying to avoid a lawsuit. Avoid stuff.

And they're like, you're like, you're so valuable. We're going to keep hanging full. Like, they're just doing all this stuff. I can't wait for her to go to the government or to anyone who is not this company who will tell it like it is to her. Someone needs to tell it like it. Like, bitch, you got paid all this money. Sit down.

The report quoted her as saying, quote, being paid at home not working is not a privilege. It's very hard to bear. Stop it. Who are you? According to who? I don't know. I feel like I would. I would want to be secretarying.

Yes. So let me ask you this. Why couldn't you collect a check from these people if it's so hard and do a second job during the day? Right. If they're not giving you work to do. Make more money. Go out and get another job.

She should have three. That's what I did. What's her name? It worked for me. Ms. Woshenhove. The firm hover claim. Can I make a recommendation to this woman?

Yes. Which is my camp? Speak directly to that. Right. Mrs. Wosanova. Uh-huh. This is my.

recommendation. I don't think she's married. It's Ms. Ms. Wastanova. This is my recommendation to you. Think about what makes you happy. Think about what you love to do. Think about what are your passions. Now, I want you to turn those into a job so they're not happy for you. She don't love them anymore. Exactly. What if her passion is suing people. She had plenty of time to volunteer. Yeah. They're so right, Dan. volunteer for people with disabilities. Do for them what you wish someone did for you. Or give puppies to people in wheelchairs. Okay. The firm, however, claim- Do comedy with Dustin Diamond. It claimed that it does about people in wheelchairs.

Claimed it had done everything to ensure she worked in the best conditions possible, according to the report. They also added a return to work in an updated position was also planned, but never happened as Ms. Wassenhove was reportedly regularly on sick leave. Right. you don't i'm sorry you're sick i'm sorry you have epilepsy i'm sorry you're in this definitely feels like a when you go to a restaurant and they're like just give them the table by the give them the table by the bathroom give them the hotel room by the elevator if they don't

complain then we got it in there i'm just going to assume and see if i can get money i've gotten all this other stuff i'm going to assume and see if i'll get money this is a dog that continue like someone's giving them food continually biting the hand that's feeding you i support it you do i know i like this lady i mean on some level she's does have some moxie. Gang-recognized game. Go get that money. Go get that money.

Go get that money, Miss Watson Hope. That's a wild. Isn't that a crazy story? I just keep thinking about it. The company just being like trying, at every move, trying to stay ahead of her suing them to eventually get sued for all the things they did to accommodate her. It's got to be part of every meeting. All right, we got new business, we got old business, and we got Watson.

Where are we on Watson? We're on Watson. We're ahead of the game. She's going to get us. No, no, no, no, no. I actually just approved another pay raise for her. He's like, you will not see. You what?

Wasenhove to this company is like building the Sagrada Familia. It's just going to go on for a hundred years. Until they finished until someone is on. I think we get another peak up there. It's a public works project. We never get it. All right. I have a public radio host.

That's why I do Sagrada Familia. Cigrata Familia. Which, by the way, when you're there, you're familiar. All right. That's story to what you did. If they put an olive garden. I would be so happy. I was there this summer.

I didn't see one. It's a little gaudy, but I like it. Audience, you got the votes on the screen. What's worse? Saying Sagrada Familia or saying when you're there, you're familia. Let us know. Both are equally as bad. Wastano just sued us both for making those statements.

And not having to work. We're going to take a break. When we come back, I have a story number three about a woman committing a crime. And that's not even the weirdest part about it. We'll come back and we'll tell you what we have going on with the great Jesse Thorne, host of Jordan Jesse Go. host of Bullseye, host, a co-host of Jordan, Jesse Joe,

a co-host of Judge Don Hodgman. He's with us. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make us down. Come you down. It's dumb people town. Hey, guys, welcome back to the show.

Before we jump into this final story, Jay, you and I have some, we have an update on one of our dates, but we're just going to lay it all out there. So September 11th, 12th, and 13th will be in Alaska. Anchorage on the 11th. Seward on the 12th. Anchorage at the,

broken blender sewered at the open tap room yeah tap room over there and then uh the valdi's convention i know alaska's huge but do you get to see john door when you're there no he's all the way in june it's like it sucks i would love to see him but uh of course we would have we were in juno but i'm very excited to go we're talking about comedies john door yeah so we'll be there september 11 12th and 13th then the next week we are in austin uh headlining the state theater i'm very excited to do that theater. It's going to be so fun. I think it's 300 seats and I think we've sold a third of it already. So we're excited. We want more people to come out. So if you're in Austin, you listen to this podcast, get there. It's on the 18th. I'd like to sell it up before a Thursday night. That's a message

directly for my friend Lauren Pasternak. Lauren Pasternak, get it together. Go see this Clark. Show up and come see us. Go, Lauren. On the 18th and then on the 19th, which is Friday night, we're in the Rialto Theater. Which you did, Dan. Did you not do the Rialto Theater in Raleigh, North Carolina? Yes, of course. So beautiful space. I can't wait. I played that theater with Judge John Hodgeman. He gave this gorgeous spot. Love the Research Triangle. We love the Research Triangle.

So anybody from Raleigh- And this is a benefit for... It's like a cancer benefit. And I'm just excited that we're a part of it. We're going to do some comedy there. Then on October 4th, we're going to be in Ann Arbor, Michigan. We were going to do a tagging on the fifth at the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase. However, we're doing a workshop of our two-man show down at South Coast Rep, which is here.

And then I switch the dates on us. So now we're only in Ann Arbor doing shows one night. that Saturday night, the night of the Wisconsin game. Two shows at Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase, let's sell them out. The rest of the time, it's just sandwiches at Zingerman. Sandwiches and visiting my two kids who are both there. Local Jokes, get your local work. Hey, now.

We ordered our sandwiches at Zingerman. Now they should be ready on October 3rd. There we go. Local jokes, get you local games. So that's it. So we're going to be there. And then we're going to be in Miami on the 25th doing a show. Hollywood, Florida, sorry.

and then we're doing the Flyver Fest with Daniel. We're doing a live dump people to have the pageant. That's the middle of November. Superscloglars.com for all of it. And then we'll let you know kind of when other things are popping up and being released and good stuff happening. Let me jump into this third story. We're ready?

Sent him by David Fournier at DP Fournier 2. I love this guy. Here's the next to. St. Pete Woman. Okay. Yeah. Great. Florida.

I'm checking in with you because you love when you just get that first. Yeah. Wearing a hot dog costume. Oh, boy. Arrested after putting toilet pants. on neighbor's vehicle. So if it's just a St. Pete woman T-Ping a neighbor's vehicle, that is one thing. Sure.

Especially if it's not a 13-year-old kid. Not in St. Petersburg, no. It can't be against the law. What if I told you there was meth on the toilet paper? No. They specifically legalized that in all the entire state of Florida. I was recently watching My Bodyguard, the movie. Mm-hmm.

You know it. My Bodyguard? Yeah. I know the Bodyguard. No. Chris. You don't know my bodyguard? My bodyguard?

Oh, my God. Who's bodyguard? Are you joking? You don't know this movie? Dan, you know it. So, like, there was a, do you know the, you obviously know the movie Meatballs with Bill Murray. So Chris make a piece, the kid in that movie, did another movie called My Bodyguard, where he, they, Matt Dillon. Matt Dillon is the bully.

Baldwin, who's the Baldwin from Adam Baldwin? Adam Baldwin plays his bodyguard. It's one of the best. His dad is played by Martin Mull and grandmother is played by Ruth Gordon. and they live in the Ambassador Hotel, which later became the public hotel in Chicago. So part of it takes place in the Ambassador Hotel. And Ruth Gordon is like this like boozy grandmother

who's hitting on everybody. Martin Mould divorced dad who's like got his son in this school. They're switching from a private school to like this gritty public school because they moved in to run this hotel in downtown Chicago. And Chris Makepeace gets bullied first day by...

What probably are you to watch this? Oh, it's one of the greatest. Oh, it's one of the great... But you just were firing it up. No, so it was on recently, but one of the things they were doing to intimidate him was wetting a bunch of toilet paper. You can't watch anything that's on freebie. And throw it against the wall. To be.

So, wetting wads of toilet paper and throwing it at the wall around him. It had a great smack to it. So I'm wondering if it's just keeping a car. But also the hot dog. This is what's great. This is maybe she's throwing wet wads of toilet. What is this is like the, who drove that? This is the Tim Robinson's sketch.

Who drove the hot dog? We're all trying to figure out who did this. Can I ask a question? Could you, before this moment, when we heard this St. Petersburg woman was wearing the hot dog costume. Sure. Did you think it would take that turn? Had you ever seen or even imagined a woman in a hot dog costume? I know that women can be doctors now.

Of course. Can they? But can women be hot dogs now? It was a sexy hot dog. Is that what women's lib was all about? It is. I'm doing jokes from 1970. Oh, you're on.

You're on this. There are certain things where people just say, like, when you go, well, supposedly there's a serial killer in Austin, no one's thinking. I mean, I wasn't looking at her hot dog. I was looking at her bun. Men are the ones who are committing. Committing the violent crimes? Yes. And wearing the hot dog.

Yes. In our culture. Yes. It's kind of, you know, it's refreshing. This is a, this is literal. This is toxic femininity. I wonder what percentage is female in the mascot world itself. Aaron, I think we just got our title.

costume hot dogs give you cancer. She puts her buns on like the rest of us one leg at a time. Thank you. You too. Doesn't quite make sense but go ahead. The hot dogs never dressed which always bothers me. Officers plain. Maybe a must

so we know, I gotta know figure out why. Officers said this is Marsha Morgan said Morgan was upset that her neighbor was... Wait, the name of the woman is... Marcia Morgan. Okay. Double M and M. Officer said that Morgan was upset that her neighbor was parking near her yard when the incident starts hi my dog is yeah so this is all about this has been

happening for a long time yeah she's near her yard can i ask a question to you guys have different different southern california lifestyles sure is it against the rules of the i'm from the city so i only recently learned about this yeah is it against the rules in where you live to park in front of someone else's house so if i see a car parked in front of my house because i have to park one car on the street yeah in my house I'm like who the fuck is this yeah I get really mad so this is a click so I'm like

get out of my house my friend in your my friend in yours Matt Bell nap from the Never Not Funny podcast love him I heard him one day on on Never Not Funny mention being mad about someone parking in front of my house they're all parking spots there's tons of spots everywhere Jesse I'm with you but there's a million other places get away from

let me ask you this if a Waymo parked in front of your house and was just like waiting to pick up a I'd block it in I'd block it in I'd do that near our house I'd park in a way that they couldn't get out so we are I'd let the air out of the tires I don't truck I have no truck with robots there you go I don't care for robots yeah if you don't have a soul you can't park in front of my house that attitude in a hot dog costume you're gonna end up on this shit when the instance are they said she while dressed in a hot dog

costume why why why I bet you in the same stuff we never find out What is? So if you're in an animal outfit, you're a furry. If you're in a hot dog, you're a foodie? Yeah. Yeah. A foodist. By the way, being a furry is not just about sex. She came from a foodist colony. At a food beach. She said it's never about sex. So what she did was in a, she dressed in a hot dog costume, she started leaning against her neighbor's vehicle. How do you like this? Yeah. How do you like this, she said. I'm rubbing my buns on it. I came here to do two things. Dressing a hot dog. dog costume to face your car and lean on vehicles looks like I'm all out of leaning I don't know this feels like a move that Robert De Niro would have done in Cape Fear just leaning on a vehicle

that would really scare the family skin a hot talk laughing in a movie shit hey I'm leaning over here she also I don't do impressions right it was hey I'm leaning on like and subscribe the facial work so she also ripped toilet paper and started placing it all over the vehicle which means it to me it's so gently placed. Do you think this was... Can I ask you, is it possible she was doing decopage?

I was wondering too. Because if it is wet and you let that dry, it's going to be harder than hell to get that toilet paper. The responding officer, she's accused of being... Well, she's accused of being intoxicated. Of course she's refusing to cooperate,

which to me would be the best chase ever. Get the hot dog. You grab her by the... If you're drunk, you never are... You're never... drunk like you're never in a hot dog costume then get drunk so in our first you're drunk and then you go i'm gonna put on that hot dog the only time that i have ever seen my friend john hodgeman like truly pull the select no i've seen him drunk many times um he just becomes more hodgeman yeah uh the only

time i've ever seen him truly pull the like but i'm a celebrity you know who i am yeah is we were in pittsburgh pennsylvania sure and uh we had woken up the morning after our show in our in our business hotel and walked out into the parking lot in front of the hotel and the Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile was there. Oh my God. And we're talking to this beautiful, this beautiful woman who runs the Oscar Meyer Wiener mobile, drives it across the country. Sure.

And we're just like, you know that he was on the Daily Show, right? Right. Like, why are we not being invited in the Wiener Mobile? Can I please get in your wiener? She did not care. Can I get inside you? She's like, yeah, well, I drive the Oscar Mower Miner, I'm not. And so I'm not sweating it either, was basically her attitude.

She's like, do you know who I am? Yeah. She met his, do you know how I am? I turned down the daily show. There you go. All right, she's accused of being intoxicated and refuse and cooperate with the investigation according to SPPD. And that is it, the source of this.

And that was it. I'm going to show you a picture. We don't even know how old she is. Is she wearing the hot dog costume in her head job? In her mug shot? Should we guess how old she is based on this photo? I like her. I like her.

This is Florida. She's not. but she's not unattractive she's cute i like her but what is she she's got the mermaid hair i mean what do we think she's i don't have an answer 56 dan come on that's a 27 year old woman 74 years old no no no she's 27 year old she's got to be 44 i say she's 32 years old i bet i can find out do we know marcia morgan future episode we'll find out you have to join our patron we'll reveal it on our patron there you go uh there you go uh there you Go, that is a show, Jordan Jesse Go, Bullseye, Judge John Hodgman, all fantastic podcast.

I love that we call you and you show up. Where can people get tickets for these live dates? What a thrill it is. The tickets are not on sale yet, but folks can go to maximum fund.org slash events. If you are in Los Angeles, Santa Cruz or New York City, particularly, can I just say, particularly Santa Cruz? I imagine myself to be a major Santa Cruz celebrity. I bet you are. On the level of the band Camper Van Beethoven.

Come on. Love them. Love them. And I did, if you're wondering, I did email Adam Scott just in case he wants a homecoming show in Santa Cruz, but if you are in the Monterey Bay area, I'm talking about if you work at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, if you pick strawberries at Driscoll's. If you are one of the whales from Star Trek 4, if you're coming up the course of Temple Beach, if you've just had the cashew gravy and brown rice at staff of life.

Frankly, if you live in any city that ends with on sea, any American city that ends with on this, if you're in a big town, San Jose, San Francisco. If you're a docent at the Hearst Castle, we're like getting everywhere. If you've just had a burger for lunch and the panthe. Are you an elephant seal? Is it your seasonal migration time?

If you've ever been? To the Henry Miller Library. To El Paso. People should go to those shows. If you went to Eselon. There you go. But seriously, how about subscribe to a podcast? Arts and Culture interviews on Bullseye,

true silly nonsense on Jordan Jesse Goh. And real-life disputes treated with genuine respect and warmth, but also it's a comedy show. As you subscribe to this, check all that stuff out. Guys, we love you. And oh, snap, we've got to get back to work. We'll see you. Boom.