Dumb People Town - Jiaoying Summers - Dumb People Are Hard To Kill

Episode Date: February 11, 2026

Comedian Jiaoying Summers (What Specie Are You?) stops by as Daniel describes how a police chase became a manhunt with alligators, Jason explains how a man set his brother's house on fire by using a blow torch to thaw gas lines, and Randy warns against robbing a meat market in the nude, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsor: Monarch! Set yourself up for financial success in 2026 with Monarch. The all-in-one tool that makes proactive money management simple, all year long. Use code DPT at monarch.com for half off your first year.

Okay, guys, we got an amazing episode of Dumb People Town today. We got alligators in a pond. We got a naked guy at a meat market. And we got a guy who trusts his brother to use a flamethrower. Don't do that. In an inappropriate moment. All with Zhao Ying Summers, it's going to be an amazing episode. So check it out.

Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of coke so unaware. They lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose will make the news. Breaking down each epic bail in Florida. There's half-price bail. I'm happy to say. Hey, they do you listen to our podcast, Dan with co-host our man, Dan, dumb, dirt, don't be a jerk.

Because when the music, that's funny, it's all people town. Hey, daddies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population You. Population Summers. Jiao Yang. Summers. Welcome.

Thank you for having me. Of course. Thank you for coming. So you have a special that we'll obviously promote after we do our first story, right? Perfect. Yeah, we'll get into that. We'll get everybody.

But I'm so happy to have you. Your energy is awesome, and I'm so happy we can just break down dumb people doing dumb things. I love that. Dan mentioned you did go to school in Kentucky. Yeah, that's what happened to me. That's what happened to you. It was put on to you. Yes, it happened to the best of us.

It does. 100%. People think I'm not, people don't believe, really. Nobody lies about going to Kentucky. From your accent, I was going to say Kentucky, but still I'm like, cool. Lexington or Louisville? Lexington. There you go.

There's good comedy club there. Comedy off Broadway. Off Broadway. That's a good comedy club there. I like that club. That's sweet. All right. You guys want to do a story? Let's do our first one. It was sent in by Jake C. At no mona padaputopus, but there's no, oh, it's just patapus.

Okay. Here we go. Headline is this. Chatham County, I believe we're outside like Savannah. Okay. Georgia. South. Chatham County Police endure car chase, manhunt, and alligators to capture suspect.

Oh, man. That's a full day. But that makes it sound like he threw the alligators at them. Maybe he did. So someone does something wrong. I just want to get this right and leads the police on a chase. Car chase. Yeah.

Manhunt for the guy in the car chase. And then they're dealing with all the other. And then they also have to deal with alligators. Have you ever seen an alligator life? I like them. They make very good bags. Oh, well. Do you have bags?

Do you have some. I didn't buy it. My rich friend gave it to me after my divorce. They feel bad for me. I like to... Wait, you got a divorce present? I used to have rich friends when I was in China. So after my divorce, I lost all the money.

So they all feel very... Because Chinese people want you to feel bad about who you are. They want you to feel bad. Yeah, they're like, I'm so sorry. You know, you are poor now. Here's a Rolex. I'm like... So it's like...

It's hurtful and generous at the same time. Yeah, I love it. I don't care. Because I came down Marika. I came to Marika, so my shame, but it's like, I don't feel shame anymore. That's done. I'm like, yes, my son's autistic too. So, like, they just keep giving me things, feel bad for me. Talk about how.

To remind you that you are poor and you have an autistic son. Yeah, yeah. And also, they're like, you can't afford Botox anymore. I'm like, no, I can't. I'm dating comedians, too. You know, give me money. Oh, my God. What are you doing?

You say I'm dating comedians and they're like, we're going to give you five Rolex. Yes. I'm so sorry. They love to pity you because they love the power, but because I'm so American now, I'm like, just take it. Yeah. Just call me whatever. figured out how to beat the Chinese system.

Yeah. I am crazy poor Asian. Yeah, very, I'm crazy poor Asian. I was in a- Please write that movie. I was in a squid game. That's great. Wait, I thought that.

All right, you ready for the name of this person? So this person gets chased by police in a car. Yes. Then ends up, I think manhunt means you're out of the car. Yeah, you're going to change. It's on foot. And there's alligators. The name of this person, just that name alone,

you'd be like, that person is definitely run from the cops. Billy Sloan. Billy Sloan. Billy Sloan. Billy Sloan. Yeah. Little Billy Sloan. Doesn't that feel like they'd call him?

Oh, you know little Billy Sloan. But he's huge. He's huge. He's like six foot eight. No, I don't know. We don't know. 2.90. That's why the gators are chasing him.

That's right. So, neat, fresh meat, and lots of it. Billy Sloan had a decision to make. Either surrender to Chatham County Police. Is it Chatham or Chatham? Chatham County Police for a string of, is it Houston or Houston? For a string of offenses, including a car chase in a stolen vehicle,

or he could be lunch to a bunch of hungry and hangary alligators. Although he didn't go gently, Sloan ultimately ended up in a set of handcuffs rather than a set of jaws. Oh, so it's one or the other. So you're standing on the shores of a river. And there's alligators here or the cops here. You've got to make a choice. Yes.

According to a CCPD press release, Chad and police officers spotted a stolen vehicle around what, time on Friday. What time do you think this whole thing kicks off? Dude. I wanted to be like 9 a.m. But I'm going to say 9 a.m. 10 a.m.

When do you think this happened? 10 a.m.? 10 a.m. Okay. They spotted a stolen vehicle around 10.30 a.m. Oh, yes. Well done, friends. She knows.

Walks in and starts winning. Yeah. Near Interstate 95 and Highway 204. As officers approached the vehicle at a gas station, the driver sped off. So cops see the car. It's always a good thing to do. They woke up, be like, hey, buddy. Also, if you're the cop and you already know the car is stolen,

why are you trying to? Why are you yelling from across the parking lot? I'm not saying go up and every hand. Wedge him in. Yes. Wedge him in so he can't leave. At least be in a some scenario where it's like, he's got a decision to make because you're standing right here.

Versus like, they could have started the on foot thing earlier is what you're trying to. I would have to say, like, you just got to assume everyone's going to do the craziest thing ever. I think so, yeah. I have a stolen car. As an Asian woman, you know, I saw other people drive like me. I always try to think... Are you a good driver? No.

Or not. Yeah, but you said, I figure they're all bad too, right? Yes. Assume the worst and then you'll be fine. Yeah. Assume the worst. So officers approach the vehicle at the gas station, the driver spent off. A Georgia State Patrol officer, so he's either in the car when the cops come up or he had

enough time to get in the car and drive away. The cops are too far when they try to say, hey, buddy. Come on. A Georgia State Patrol officer spotted the same vehicle soon thereafter and gave chase. So this guy's having such a bad day. Cops at the gas station see him and then just driving around another cop season. The driver later identified as Billy Sloan. Little Billy Sloan bailed from the car and took off on foot on Al Henderson Boulevard.

CPD began receiving reports of a man unlawfully entering homes through unlocked doors in the Al Henderson golf course community. I don't want to blame the victims here, but you've got to lock your doors. Yes. Yeah. Are the doors locked in China? Do people lock their doors in China? Yeah. They do.

There's so many people. You were like, somebody's going to wander in here? Are people? My question is, and again, I've never been to China. Are people more careful there? It just is the law is harsher in China. Like, there's death sentence. You know, you could do things that.

Are like traffic tickets here. Pedophiles are death sentence. If you are kind of sex abuser. I'm not against that. Yeah. Not on the Epstein list. I think, you know, they should check when you're pregnant. They check Down syndrome.

also pedophilia. You can't kill it, right? I think we should do it. They don't do that. See this is your heart. This is unbelievable. CPT began receiving ports. The guy just walking into people's houses.

They also didn't say he did anything. By the way, he just walked out. She's not saying, kill it down syndrome, kid. She said kill a future pedophile. If you can test for the pedophilia gene, I'm back on board. Down syndrome? Keep them. It's your comma, you got to pay for it.

Keep them. But pathophilia babies. Get rid of them. I think it's better to kill them. AI residents. I can't argue with that, and yet I feel like someone will be. It's very minority report. The suspect's description matched the man who drove and ditched the stolen vehicle,

despite an early safety alert issued by CCPD, so that's them going, we told you all this guy was running around your neighborhood. He's in and out of houses, lock your doors. Which notified the public of the man underway. No forced entries were reported. So he only went to people. Unlocked doors. I guess he just passed through their houses.

CCPD deployed. Eagle 1, the county's helicopter, and the Chatham County Sheriff's K-9 unit to aid in the search. All for a stolen car. Isn't that crazy? There they are. There it is. It's so much. Take a look.

Just shoot him. Community. We're going to get to this photo. In the leg. In the leg. Community residents also assisted. That'll teach you to run. That's the helicopter.

Community residents also assisted by providing golf carts and life vests as the search. and ultimate standoff unfolded in a pond where two alligators reside. I've been to Florida and I've stayed in Sanabella and I've seen, I've ridden a bike past like where alligators go into the water and I'm like, this is crazy. Any ditch of water. They have so fast too. So very fast. So fast and I just assume they're in every body of water.

Yeah. If there's like a little puddle, even if it's this much water, I'm like there's an alligator. Yeah. In an attempt to assume that. To flee officers who were closing in. Sloan jumped into the pond. and swam to its middle. No.

Swimming to the middle is the worst thing. Why? What are you doing? I know. What are you doing? He was like, you'll never come in here. One of the two alligators swam towards Billy's. Oh.

And began circling him. Oh, God. Look at her eyes. You're just thinking about the belts we can make home with those gators. Yeah. And this guy. He's a guy too. One of the two alligators swam towards Billy Sloan and began circling.

Officers dispatched each. Eagle one to hover over the pond. That's the picture we just saw. To deter the alligators and to get a life jacket on Sloan. They're trying to save him. I don't think him sinking is going to be the problem he's going to run into. No. He's going to be lunch.

He might stop swimming after a certain. They want him to be eaten where you can see on the camera. It's a way they're like. Make an example. But they went and got the helicopter. Don't you go, hey buddy, you got a real decision to make here. Yeah. It's awesome.

Because we're already trying to get you where we are. Right. And you chose to swim out there. You're going the extra effort by bringing him a helicopter. He's where he wants to be. Wasting taxpayers' money. Wasting taxpayers' money. Yeah, we don't need to.

I don't want to pay for this. She said, shoot him in the leg. She said. Shoot him in the leg. He'll fall and take him back. Yeah. And the gas station. Terminator two rules.

At the gas station, she's like, shoot him in the leg and then take him back. Yeah, they're wasting all the money. So they tried to get him a life jacket. He refuses to take the life jacket. Yeah. Dude, they're not throwing you handcuffs to put on. They're not trying to hurt you. They're trying to save you. At least get a life jacket on.

So you're floating at the top when the alligator gets you. This is when people refuse help. Do you ever have friends that you're like, I'm trying to help you out? And they're like, I don't want it. Right. I'm trying to help you. You're already in a bad situation. Yeah.

There are people like that. They're so stupid. They deserve what's coming at them. Yeah. Thank you. You deserve to be circled by one of two alligators. Sloan refused to come out of the water. Chatham County's Marine Patrol unit arrived with an amphibious vehicle

and deployed that into the pond. More taxpayers money. More taxpayers money. Wasted on this moron. Why? Still, Sloan refused officers' commands to surrender. How long do you think he was in the water? How long can you tread water?

With an alligator circling around you, a helicopter overhead. I would say 35 minutes. For more than an hour. Wow. That's too long. By that point, you know all the police officers' first names. Like, I already told you, Dave. I'm not coming out of the water.

Like, you're too familiar. We'll talk to Jim. He's up there. Like, the fight's gone on too long. Tell Jim, I'm not coming out. You know too much about each other. Yeah. Like you ever get in an argument with someone you're like dating or married to?

And at a certain point, you're sort of just sick of arguing. There's the stand-up. So you're like, I don't know if we're going to figure this out, but I don't want to do this anymore. That's when you go eat. You go eat. You go eat. We'll pick this up later. Yeah, yeah.

We'll pick it up later. And hopefully you don't. Let's put a pin in this argument that we're having. Yes. So they are like, get over here, he won't get over there. Get over here. Finally, CCPD officer Joseph Lour, Joe Lour, and Marine Patrol officer Heath Wynn,

dove into the waters. You know him? No, I cannot believe it. This is too much. They dove into the water for this fucking morrow? I thought you had like a- Waterbrook? Not a water broke.

I thought you had a contraction. Yeah, I can't. I'm so mad. I was like, are you all right? Right? And my guys are so different. Yes. These two guys dive in because she's like, I can't believe these guys are going into the water with an alligator.

Why? For who? China would be like, go. Because if he doesn't care. Yeah. Let him keep not care. China's like, let him go. Yeah.

Why? Let him go. They dove into the waters and brought Sloan into custody. Now that's where I go. These two cops wanted to say, we fought off alligators. We need alligators. They're chasing some sort of dragon the year themselves. They want an early retirement.

This is a story to tell around the water cooler. Also, maybe they're like, there's three of us. One of us is going to be at least fine. Two of us are going. Look, if we start going and the alligators coming, we're pushing him in front of us. He can eat them. Yes.

But at least we tried. Yes. I can't believe it. I can't believe it either. Too much hustle for this loser. Too much hustle. Slown him in the leg. He's been charged with theft by receiving stolen property,

burglary drug possession. obstruction by fleeing in four counts of criminal trespass. So he went in four people's houses. He was transported by the Chatham County emergency services to an area hospital where he remained briefly before being booked into the Chatham County Detention Center. According to CPD, neither the suspect officers or innocent bystanders were injured during the incident. Alligators were also unharmed.

Okay. I'm going to, oh, did I say this? Community residents assisted by providing golf carts and life vests. Golf carts on my fists. Okay. Here we'll get out of here. Here. How old is Billy Sloan?

How old do you think the guy steals a car or at least gets it from somebody? This is a young man's game. Tries a run away. This is a young man's game. In the car. Tries to run away on foot, then swims with alligators. Treadwater. 38?

24. 24? 27. 27. We'll in story one here. When we come back, we'll hear about giant special. I'll tell you what I'm up to. We'll have story two from Jason.

But right now, Billy Sloan is 29 years old. Wow. That's you, Jay. Yeah, very good. All right, that's story number one, friends. Everyone down in the books. We'll come back. Jiao Ying Summers has joined us.

Got a new special. We'll talk about all that on Dumb People Town right after this. Stick around. Make a sound, bunker down. It's Dump People Town. Guys, set yourself up for financial success this year. Monarch is the all-in-one personal finance. design to make your life easier.

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Stick around. Sound, hunger down. It's dumb people town. Hey, Tadis, welcome back to the show. Jiao Ying Summers is with us. Before we get into her special, we're going to talk about that. Daniel, let people know where people can see you and all this stuff. Daniel Van Kirk.com.

I'm in Portage, Wisconsin at the Portage Center for the Performing Arts. And then I'll also be in New York City, York, Pennsylvania, Wilmington, North Carolina. I'll be in D.C. Yeah. And then in this summer, I'll be back in Wisconsin at the Comedy Cabin and Janesville's Amazing Club. Everything's awesome. Go to Daniel van kirk.com to get your tickets and hang out with me. I'd love to see you.

Oh, Netflix is a joke. May 6th at the Hotel Cafe. Cafe Hotel Cafe. Great little room. So you know where to find that. Danielvanekukuk.com or Netflix. Speaking of Summers. Speaking of Summers.

Jiao Ying Summers. Hi. Talk to us about your special where people can see it. Are you excited about it? Yeah. You talked about how it came out? Came out on Hulu in November, November 8th last year. Beautiful.

Yeah, it's called what species are you. I love the special. It's very, you can get anyone canceled, but I can say it because you can't cancel me. You can't pronounce my name. You can't cancel you. Yes. A lot of other people who sound like you just got canceled. Oh, for sure.

They will be canceled. Zhao Yang Summers. Yes. Gone. Gone. Gone. Yeah. Jow Young Summer, out.

Gone. Out. Yeah. Jaya Summer's still around. Still around. I'm on tours. I don't know when our special. I mean, our episode to come out.

Oh, yeah. Where can people find all your dates and stuff? Giaoiancombe. Great. And you are crushing on TikTok. People should follow you on that. Super fun. Thank you.

Thank you. It's Jiao Ying Summers. There's a handle for the social. I love it. Get on it. And how are you feeling? You feel good? I'm good.

Yeah, I'm just eating a lot right now. Sure. It's got to feel good. You and me both. Why am I doing it? I'm not pregnant. Two gators. I'm like, oh.

You're eating two. Yeah, she's like, how are they preparing that? Yes. It is good. And they're skin. And it's beautiful. Friam. She's like about persons.

Let's jump into story two. This is sent in by DG3 at Dynamite DG. Here's the headline. Man sets brothers home on fire with blow torch trying to thaw active gas lines on Indy's south side. So people don't understand. They think you can just, like, remember the guy who tried to blow torch his driveway? Yeah.

It was ice and stuff. And he's like, I can, I don't want to shovel. I just put a blowtor. Everyone wants the easy way out. Kill a spider. with fire. Yeah. That burned down the house.

Yeah. Well, this is not far from that. Fire almost never solves anything. Even most controlled burns, you got to really keep an eye on. Fire is almost never the answer to fix this. No. Other than maybe I'm cold. Let's come up with a really dangerous way to fix this problem.

Unless you're cooking pizza. Also, do you think his brother was like, please don't do this? And he's like, it's going to work. Are you going to find out? Okay. A man is fortunate to be unharmed, Nuketai Holdy, as we'll guess later, after he set his brother's house on fire. Not even his house, Jow Ye.

Not even his house. Imagine if I was like, let me come over and fix this thing for you and then I set your house on fire. I would not be happy. On Indy Southside, we're trying to thaw active gas lines with a blow torch Wednesday. Active. Let me put this fire on these active gas lights. I'm so nervous about any gas line. I'm always like, did I just turn the gas?

Did I leave the gas on? I'm like never like up on what the fireplace is doing in my house. All right. Fire crews responded to Indianapolis to a report of a house fire. fire on the 8300 block of Hill Gale Drive. It's got Gail on the name. Near Interstate 69 and Kahneland Road, the owner of the home reported a fire in a bedroom closet

while his brother was working inside of the crawl space below. According to the IFD, the man had been trying to thaw active gas lines with blow torch. That's when sparks from the torch went up into the house. No shit. So I would not float him a pass. But let's say there was just crazy ice. on your roof and you're like I don't want to...

He's in the crawl space underneath. I know, but I'm saying I don't want to knock the roof, knock the ice off because it could come down on someone or hurt somebody. I'm going to try and melt it. And it just so happened that the flame goes near the gas lines. You know my suggestion for that?

What? Take your ass down to Walgreens or CVS by 10 heating pads that you can return. Tate them to or around these gas lines. And heat it up. And heat it up. up. Pour hot water on it. Whatever.

My point is... Get a heated blanket. My point is, if someone was like, this is what I'm doing it, and the flame goes near a gas line, but you were intending to do this over here, that's one thing. This guy is putting a flame on a frozen gas. Fire on a gas line. I just... I don't feel bad for the brother whose house got burned down. You know your brother.

You know your brother. He's a dumb piece of shit. Thank you. You allow him to go near your house. Fuck you. allow him to go on you. If he ever says I have the solution for anything, this brother, we've only met him for a minute.

You know him for your life. Don't let him. I wouldn't let him drive into the airport. Here's a deal. If you're not blaming the victim in this case, you're a bad person. This victim is stupid. He's like he's alive. He should put his brother down.

He didn't. Put his brother. These two did this together. One guy was in there, but they did it together. They did it together. Because there's a deal. In a crawl space, you are 12 to tops, 18 inches from one. Wood, treated wood, and maybe some, I'm going to assume, carpeting for these two idiots.

Dan, are you ready for the next line in this article that's going to tell you how this brother is the dumbest person on Earth? Which one? The brother with the blowtorch was found in the crawl space. Brother with a blowtorch? Brother with a blowtorch. Was found in the crawl space completely unaware of the above fire. Of course. He doesn't smelling anything?

We got an issue up here. I don't see nothing. I'm just trying to get this line. Light him on fire, right? but why this guy even has a blow. The dumb people they live forever. Some people are like cockroaches. Hard to kill.

Hard to kill. That should be a T-shirt. Dumb people live forever. They're hard to kill. Dumb people are hard to kill. They are. That should be a shirt. Like to me, that would be like the greatest superhero ever is someone who's just

really dumb. So dumb. He's just so dumb. Mr. Magoo. Dumb and drunk. I have to reference. There was blind. There was a language barrier hampering efforts to effectively communicate

and the man wouldn't evacuate the space. so he's not getting out. So I'm not going. Yeah. In whatever language he was speaking. IFT said the man was then removed from the home unharmed. Overall, three adults and one dog were displaced in the fire that took how long to control. Oh, so now it's just a full-blown, the whole house is on fire.

Took seven hours to control. I'll answer really quickly. In the scenario of doing this, gas line or house, which one you're going to get on fire, they're lucky it was the house. Oh, the gas line. Everybody explodes. He explode the highway, too. Sorry. You said how long?

How many minutes? Seven hours. How long do you think? I would just say... To fight the fire. Fight the fire? I would say five hours. Okay.

I'm going to go two hours. How about 25 minutes? Oh, that's bad. This is where, okay, if the whole time you're like... But you don't need that long for a house. Maybe Zhao Ying is being too harsh on this guy who let his brother use a blow torch on gas pipes to try and... No, he's saying if people are thinking that he's about to tell you. I'm about to tell you why you were suddenly going to jump on her side.

I'm already on her side. FFT says the homeowner asked his brother to thaw his pipes and knew he was using a blowtorch on active gas lines. But the homeowner said he knew his brother had experience as a plumber. That doesn't make any sense. As a plumber. Who cares if he's a partner. Why don't you hire your brother as your wife's OB? He's a plumber.

He's a plumber. He knows pipes. Yes. He knows pipes. That actually is a more closer. Right. Comp. He knows how to clean her pipes out.

Yes. He knows how to lay pipe. He's like, wait, he's like, you have a baby? Drink this draino. You work with natural gas a lot? Nope. You blow tower or a blow torch part of your job as a plumber? No.

Not at all. You do a lot of fighting ice and freezing. No. Maybe once in a while plumbing, but then I'm not the guy you'd need for that anyway. Cool. Get under the house. Get out of the house with a blow torch and fire these pipes up. I mean, I don't even need to say it.

So why is he to say the truth? I let my brother do it because he owns a blow torch. Right. Yeah. That's what it was. He should say the real truth, which is, I can't control my brother. He said he wanted to come up. But I endorse it.

Right. The problem is ICE is affecting everyone in this country. All right. We're going to get out here on this. How old is this man? The brother in the crawl space? No, brother who... Let him do it?

Let his brother do it. Okay. 45. No, oh, no. This is the brother who did set the house on fire. Okay, either way. You still say 45? I say 30.

No, he's old and stupid, 46. 46? Yeah, I'm going to say old. I do like Tom. I think it's too dumb middle-aged idiots. 63. And you trust these people more

even though they haven't learned. You should know. He's got wrinkles on his face. Yeah. 63. I'm going to go 37. One of you is three years off. Okay.

60. Go up or down three years. So you'd go for, she'd go 49 or? I would say 45. You said 46. Is that 43? Oh, 43.

Okay. Get your answers in. I wish you would have gone up 49 years old. Wow. Wow. Yeah. But you were right. Yeah.

You knew. You knew exactly what you were talking about. I know dumb people. You know dumb people. Speaking of, we're going to take a break. Come back, tell you what we're up to and do one last story. It is Dumb People's Town with Jiao Ying Summers. We'll be right back.

Stick around. Make us down. Hunger Down is Dump People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Before we get into it, come see us. We'll be at Sports Drink in New Orleans, which is an amazing club. The 21st and 22nd of February. We're going to do a run of shows.

We're going to be at Moon Tower Comedy Festival, which I can't wait. That's in the end of April. And then we're going to do our Netflix as a joke. Tag it show, which is going to be so much fun at UCB Theater on the 5th of May. SuperSquorys.com for all that stuff.

Her special, again, is called What Species are you? Perfect. Is that right? Yes. My Netflix one is at Pacific Electrics on May 7th. Probably, my water will probably break on stage.

Oh, that's where you're fun. We need a blow to clean up the water. torch to clean up the pipes. All right. Our final story is sent in by our good friend Alvin Cadabay. Yeah. Cadabay eggs. It's Easter time. Air to the Catabay eggs. At A. Cadabay 36. You ready? Here we go. Naked man, and this goes cuts right to your heart. Naked man already. Yeah. Arrested for robbing meat market, Lake City police.

I mean, he is a meat. He's a walking meat market. He's a walking meat market. Officers arrested a man accused of armed robbery of a meat market in Lake City. Armed. Where is he? Naked with a weapon? When put his gun? Where he put his gun? That's right. I'm robbing a meat market in Lake City while wearing nothing.

And his neck folds. While wearing nothing but a mask. So he did not want to be seen. Or was he wearing a mask to like not get germs? Yeah, he doesn't want COVID. Lake City Police Department officers said they responded to reports of a robbery at BJ's meat market. BJ's. You can't have a meat market called BJ's.

BJ's meat market. You feel me? He is a porn. What? BJ's meat market is like where I hate to say it. These nice. These prices will bring you. you to your knees at BJ's meat market.

Hey, we take the, tell the competition, suck it. What a wild name that would be for a comedy venue. Yeah. BJ's meat market. BJ's meat market, you will not only laugh your ass off, you will meet your husband, sir. We take the teeth out of this deal. BJ's meat market. Formerly Scaffs market.

I don't know what's worth. Scaffs sounds like a disease. Scalf sounds like a, like an infection. You can't go down there. That's what Bill Gates got from the Russian girls. He's got a scaf infection. A scaf sounds like hookers that crossed the picket line. Scaffs came down and then they'd ruin the business.

They took my whole 18. The hookers took a stand, Zhao Ying. They took a stand. They said, we deserve more. I sent the hookers down. I sent the 18 down to L.A. The scuffs crossed the line and we all had to go get the B.T. The Oakland fan.

What's worse? BJ's meat market or Scaves? I don't know. On Northwest Maine Boulevard on Tuesday, around what time? What time did this naked man try and steal me from BJ? 2 p.m. I would think he choose to do something stupid early. Some people can wake up early too.

They have like an unbelievable until. Or they've been up all night. Because the good meeting is in the morning. So probably 8.30 a.m. That was the other slogan for BJ's market. The good meetings in the morning. Rise and Shaan. I'm going to say 9 a.m.

Okay. Get your answers in town. This happened Tuesday around 8.50 p.m. Oh, no. Nighttime action. He waited for the bad meat. Obviously, the suspect later identified as Kobe Watkins. Kobe beef.

Come on. Kobe Watkins. I'm not going to give you his age. We'll do that at the end. Entered the store completely nude except for a covering on his face. There he had a piece of cloth wrapped around. There he is. Something on his hand.

Employees believed was a weapon. Watkins broke it in the cash box, took more than how much money from the store? How much money do you think BJ's meat market has a day? Still has in the cash register? What do you think? The end of the day? The end of the day? Around 8 p.m.

I would say probably like around a $1,000. $1,000. $1,000. $4.50. One of you is exactly right. No shit. Oh, my God. I'm going to stay with my...

I'll stay. I'll stay. Okay, you're going to stay. All right. $1,000. You're so good at all these games. For the store before he ran away. No one was hurt during the robbery.

Officers established a perimeter. Located him short afterwards later with the help of Columbia County Sheriff's office. They also found items. believed to be connected to crime in the area. Just random crime of the area. Watkins was taking the hospital for medical evaluation before being booked in the Columbia County Jail. He faces charge of armed robbery,

exposure of sexual organs, grand theft, and criminal mischief. I love the ones there. Instants like this are unsettling, but our officers responded quickly, secured the scene, work with our partners to identify and arrest the subject. We appreciate the swift assistance

from the Columbia Sheriff's office. The meat is out. Meat is out. His meat was out. The corporation of the business employee that helped us. It's on the street. I ask you, you saw the picture of him. Kobe Beef Watkins.

That's now his nickname is Kobe Beef Watkins. That's nice. He's how old. You saw the picture. How old is Kobe Beef Watkins? You're, you go first. You've been crushing this. He looks, he's black, so I can't really guess.

He probably is not that young, but he looks young. Wait, I can't say that. I can say, I can say that. Yeah, I would say. I don't know if she can say. We can say black don't crack. That's right. I would say 31.

31. Ooh, I was going to say 32. What do you think? Stay with it. I'll do it. I'll stay with 32. What do you think? 37.

Kobe Beef Watkins is, apparently Black does crack. He is 24 years old. Oh, it's young. Young little one. He doesn't have little bags. Yeah, he was tired. The beef is young. It's like veal.

So there you go. That is a story. Those are three stories. What a fun, beautiful, quick episode. So again, what is your species? And you're taping a new one. Yes, I'm doing a new one. Actually, not May.

After the baby. Okay. Okay. Awesome. New hours. Go get it. Go see her live. You can see it.

You can see a sneak preview. Sneak preview of whenever. Where are all your dates? Jowyingcom. Jowyingcom. Thank you so much for coming back. Thank you. Thank you.

Follow him at danivankirt.com. Superscolars.com. We love you guys. And oh, snap. We got to get back to work. Peace. Thank you.