Dumb People Town - Jimmy Shin - Clickbait

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

Comedian Jimmy Shin (Wok This Way) stops by Randy describes a man that stole goods, showered, and was found asleep in a firehouse: a full Goldilocks, Daniel explains why a Belgian couple has use the same 4 letters to name their kids, and Jason warns against hiding your drugs in a bag labeled "definitely not drugs," and so much more! Thanks to our sponsors: Factor and BetterHelp! Eat smart with Factor. Get started at FACTORMEALS.com/dpt50off and use code dpt50off to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping.  Discover your relationship “green flags”, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/DPT today to get 10% off your first month.

Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware They lack in race and sometimes choose the life they choose We'll make the news, breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half price bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast jam with co-hosts Armand Dan. Members, don't be a jerk, because when the music goes, the funny hits and we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound,

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Get started with factormeals.com slash dpt50off. That's use code dpt50off to get 50% off your first box, plus free shipping. That's code DPT50OFF at factormeals.com slash DPT50OFF to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Hey, Toudies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Toud. Population you. Population Shin.

Jimmy Shin, what's up, buddy? What's up, buddy? Nothing much, man, good to be here. Glad to have you. Population, Shin. Jimmy Shin, what's up buddy? What's up buddy? Nothing much man, good to be here. Glad to have you. Welcome to town. You got a new special out, we'll talk about that in a little bit, but there's dumb news to get into, are you ready?

The world is dumb. I'm ready. The world is getting dumb. Do you feel like the world's getting dumber? It's getting so dumb. Right? Why is it so dumb? Just in all walks of life.

Well I feel like we're celebrating the dumb in a way that we haven't before. Well we are. Yeah, yeah, we're exposed to so much dumb. Right. And it's, maybe we pulled back the carpet. It's always been there, but now we can see it. You know what I mean? We gotta vacuum this garbage out.

We gotta swiffer it, wet swiffer it. I got a story from our good friend, Matt Friedman. So our fan sent in stories at. He's not average. He's not your average, Matt, AVG, Matt. So here, you ready for the headline? Here we go. Man arrested for allegedly going full Goldilocks

and three bears in Haynes City Fire Station. Wait, so. So you're sleeping in their beds? So I actually think that the headline is dumb too. Cause you can't go Goldilocks and three bears unless you catch yourself in someone else's house, which is your house. Oh, you also would then own the best.

You only go Goldilocks or Three Bears. All you need to say was Goldilocks. Can't do both. Can't have it both ways. So he goes Goldilocks. And part of me is like, that whole story was really interesting because they tried to make the young girl the villain

in that story and you're three bears. Just maul the shit out of her. Like you did it to the grizzly man. The guy who thought he was your friend. Ended his life. You ready? Werner Herzog had to watch you. Couldn't watch it.

He can only listen to the audio. All right, yeah. The Haines City Police Department arrested Jordan F. Simmons. It's like J.K. Simmons' son. J.F. Simmons. arrested Jordan F. Simmons, it's like J.K. Simmons' son, J.F. Simmons, J.F. Simmons, after he allegedly took a shower, slept on a bed, stole personal items including a handgun, and ate food out of the station refrigerator.

He is Goldilocks. So these guys are all on a call. Right, which is worse, the gun or the food out of the fridge? Cause you know they work to cook at fire houses. He's like, I'll get another. I'd be mad more about the food. Food, right? For sure.

That was a case, you son of a bitch. Anyway, so that's what happened. Alright, handgun, food out of the refrigerator. Incident took place on December 7th. The following is redacted, so there's like parts that are taken out. But. What is confidential about? Yeah, why do we need to keep names? People stealing from a fire station. People's parts that are taken out, but. What is confidential about?

Yeah, why do we need to keep these? People stealing from a fire station. People's names maybe, I don't know. Maybe what the recipe of the food that he took. I don't know, that could be confidential. Three lemon bars. No, so but unedited portion of the Haynes City Police Department arrest affidavit.

Should be noted, again, unedited, all right, but there are redacted. Okay, so let's get into it right now. On 12-7-2024, Detective Vas are redacted. Okay, so let's get into it right now on 12 7 2024 Detective Vass never forget detective Vasquez this D day Responded to the Haynes City Fire Department station number one Haynes City, Florida Of course in reference to a subject trespassing in the restricted common area the case city also sounds like an underwear store, right? Hey in city. Yeah, I gotta go down to Haynes City get some briefs

Yeah, And socks. Hayne City's where you go when they lose your luggage. Yeah. And you're like, I just had to grab these in Hayne City. Yeah, I had to get, I can't believe they lost. I wonder if they got any G-strings. They do have G-strings. They do.

They actually have, they're tidy, whitey. Yeah, they're nice. What if there was a tidy, whitey G-string? There 100% is. Is there? Yeah, Luma the Fruit. All right, so that's actually great. I walked into the common area and observed two firefighters

conversing with a white male who I later identified as Florida driver's license as Jordan Frazier Simmons. JFS, JFS. Now we're gonna find out when he was born. I'll do that later. The firefighters were identified as Haines City's firefighters. Sure. Redacted, redacted.

I began to gather initial information. The subject may have mentioned that he had permission to be there from a former employee. That's a good excuse who let you in here someone I could you mean the the Old excuse of why you should jump the line at a club. Yeah, well, I'm friends with somebody who used to work with the owner Yeah, does Mike still work? I'm cousins with the former DJ Does Mike still work here? I'm cousins with the former DJ, Dan. He said just show up.

Dan, does Mike still work here? How many times did you hear that as a door mouncer? Oh my god, so many. Did you ever work at a bar or club or anything like that? Oh yeah, I used to promote bars. Oh, so you know. Hey, does Mike still work here? Is Jimmy in there?

Day behind the bar? Someone asks him, is Jimmy here? Yeah, yeah, hey does Mike still work here Jimmy in there Behind the bar someone asked him is Jimmy here. I am Jimmy And no no they are you they had that happen for sure really I'm friends with Jimmy Shin and you're like yeah No, really Jimmy Shin. I I don't know you No, they argue, but yeah, you're not Jim Shut up one This one. Go get Jimmy Shin and I wanna talk to him. It's like your six day in a row and they're like, I come here all the time. Yeah.

And you're like, I beg to differ. Yeah, I don't think you have. I haven't seen you at all. So he notified me of the subject taking a bag belonging to him and loaded his own keys and multi-tool. So he took like a Dremel tool into the bag as if to claim the bag was his own. That's my bag, right?

You just start claiming stuff, right? Yeah, opposite of Austin Powers. Right. With the bag was miscellaneous clothing to include clothing and a Glock 19 with 15 nine millimeter rounds contained within a magazine, all right? There was no round in the chamber, thank God. Sweet Jesus. One of the firefighters notified me Simmons had taken

his bedding from his locker and laid in his bed. He is going full Goldilocks. This one's too hard. So violating, right? To have someone lay in your bed is so weird. This is the worst, he can't wash that out. He soiled his linens and his pillow. That's not good. Really?

That's not good. That's not good. Soiled meaning? Shed himself? He shed himself or peed. Something. Soiled, it got something in there. I'm gonna go piss on this. The bag was a brown in color London Fog handbag

valued at how much? The bag he takes. I don't know, London Fog made handbags. They make coats. I'm more of a Vera Bradley girl. I know you are. It's your basic bitch. Wait, how much do you think this London Fog handbag was

that he took? That's probably mid-range. What do you think? Maybe about 100 bucks. 100 bucks, what do you think? I'll go, that's a good guess. I'll go 250. 400 bucks for a London Fog.

London Fog handbag, valued at, get your answers in townies, $200. You guesser around the thing, right? Learned that the subject's wearing his black Nike socks valued at how much? Stop. Come on, how much are the socks? One pair.

One pair. $10. $10? What do you think? $10? Five bucks. $8. Get your answers in, 20 bucks.

These are expensive socks. What? There's no socks. There's no Nike socks out of 20 dollars. There's no way. Valued at 20 bucks. I feel like this is someone making an insurance claim. Exactly. Right?

You're going to the highest level. Whose socks were they? Scottie Pippen's? They're sentimental value. That's right. Upon learning he was missing his own, I walked out of the patrol car, advised Simmons of his Miranda rights warning via an agency issued Miranda warning card.

All right, fine, we get it, you did that. The firefighter stated that his towel was hanging in the bathroom after learning Simmons had showered and he went back to the bathroom. This guy's just doing it all. They were gone for a long time. Once in the bathroom, he discovered his towel was wet and used presumably by Simmons.

I love that he took a shower and then soiled the bed Did he soil the bed and then take a shower showers both showers? He needed that she hated a shower position next to the recliner where Simmons was seated comfortably upon discovery of his presence Was his dirty clothing hat shoes and a large hatchet? Apparently how long approximately how long he brought it? I don't know. He maybe maybe took it how long was the hatchet that he took for two feet inches a hatchet job 24 inches foot and a half foot and a half 18 inches what do you think two and a half feet get your answers in it's a 10 inch hatchet that's not that big that's only like this big that's a scary baby hatchet it's a baby baby hatchet. It's a baby little hatchet, like what do you do

with a little hatchet like that? It's like an ice cap. It's not the size of the hatchet. Right, it's how you feel with it. It's the motion of the chopping. You can't burt the kicks with that. You do, you can just slice really quickly, thank you, Aaron. So the firefighter sworn that no one was given permission

to open his bag, temporarily deprive him of his personal belongings, or wear his clothing. You know, these are his things. Do you think that everything is really labeled in a firehouse? I don't know if you've been to a firehouse. It is not. Just guy like go and get my, somebody's like hey.

Well you just have your stuff in your own. Did you take my meatballs? Yeah. You know what I mean, like who's Tupperware is like the Tupperware in the food. Oh that sure, yeah, food one. At this time the point point of entry cannot be established as review camera system was not,

view of the camera system was not available at this hour. Upon my arrival, the police department to conduct a sworn record interview, Simmons declined to speak with law enforcement. He made spontaneous utterances that I was colluding against him and putting my career in jeopardy. So this guy's like, I'm gonna take a shower,

I'm gonna soil this bed, I'm gonna eat this food, and I don't work here, and I'm gonna grab a hatchet, I don't work here, I'm friends with a guy who said I could be here. I stole a gun too, and you're putting your career in jeopardy, right? This guy's gone. The only thing he didn't do is jerk off.

That's right, I mean he could've done that. We got time. Wait a minute, there's still, Simmons went on. That's what the mini hatchet is for. That's right, Simmons went on to inform me that he was Eating ranch dip from the fire station. So he's doing which did not belong to him At least he admitted that the ranch dip was not his the ranch Not me the ranch is everybody. You got me on the ranch. You want to bust me on the ranch?

Also, I don't think he really knows what colluding means no way didn't we used to have a joke in our act about Also, I don't think he really knows what colluding means. No way. Didn't we used to have a joke in our act about ranching your ranch? Oh yeah, at Cracker Barrel. You can get ranch for the ranch sauce. You can top off your ranch with ranch and they take over a bottle and let you smell the cap.

Yeah, the ranch. It's like Hidden Valley 97. That was a good year for the valley. It was a great year for the valley. It was a really good year for the valley. A lot of rainfall. A lot of rainfall, a lot of winds. It was just, you know.

So did not want to. A criminal history check revealed no prior convictions, theft, or burglary. This is his falling down. Wow, that's surprising. This is his falling down. This is his moment where he makes a break. This is his rum springer.

This is a, right? Is this like a regular person rum springer? White guy rum springer. Sure. Does he like go to the nearest firehouse? And it's so funny, because firehouses are usually like, the back door's open. The gym's out in the garage, White guy rum springer sure does these like go to the nearest firehouse and it's so funny because Firehouses are usually like the back door is open the gyms out in the garage and people are just working out

So there's no one thinks that someone's gonna mess with the fire If you walk it like if you walk in with confidence people are like, oh, yeah the guy Dan told me I could come Not sure not if you just like you they gotta be on high alert If you're gonna leave the garage door open, you gotta be on high alert, am I right? Oh yeah, I just heard there must be no one there. This must be a small house. Yeah, that's it. All right, was I figuring out how old?

His age, yeah, I'm gonna get his age. We'll get out of here on this. What's his name again? His name is. Somebody at one point was named Jordan, he's Simmons. Jordan Frazier Simmons. J.F. Simmons.

J.F. Simmons, all right. Now, his date of birth, okay, we can get it, because his birthday's coming up. His birthday's on February 6th. Mazel. Never forget where he was on February 6th. Also, we have a tagging on that night. We'll talk about that later.

But February 6th, we're gonna guess the year, so I gotta do the math now. I believe in you, Randy. I know, I got this. Okay. How old will he be on February 6th? Ooh. How old will he be? J.F. Simmons. How old will he be? 61. 61? 51. 51. 51. Very good. Showered, pissed, ate, hatchet,

ranch. Ranch is what's thrown at him. Right. How does the ranch figure into this is he just prior? Can you just finger dipping the ranch Oh to figure you can you just like cup the ranch and just Shoveling it in you need some sort of a broken heart move right there So ranch needs some distribution system whether I care it's it up, and he's no no no you're not drinking ranch two hands whether he's a carrot. No, no, he lifts it up and he's drinking. No, no, no, you're not drinking ranch from two hands. I'm gonna go 28.

28, all right. Aaron, you wanna join in and give a guess here? What do you think? I think he's 20. Okay, get your answers in, Townies. What'd you say? 61, 51, 28, 51. All right, get your answers in, Townies.

That's the first story down in the book. When we come back, we're gonna hear about Jimmy's special, tell you what we have going on. This man, Jordan Fraser Simmons, is or will be on February 6th, 46 years old. There you go, Jimmy! Oh, nice work, sir. I love it.

Dan, you got story number two. Let's take a break. When we come back, we will tell you what's going on. All right, there's Dumb People Town with Jimmy Shams Hey guys, we're back. Hope you guys are doing well. Thank you By the way, all of you who support us and join our patreon we like to give you every little stories and stuff It's so much fun patrons really fun patreon.com. I guess slash dumb people town or DPT dumb people don't people. Yeah Super super fun. We'll got to tell you what's going on with us first, then we'll talk about Jimmy's new special

Which he did on 800 pound gorilla Walk this way. We'll get to it in a second. But for us, we've got a lot of stuff coming up now Depending on when this drops we've recorded a lot of episodes So we'll just kind of give you the the lowdown as it were We have a lot of let's just do the March dates because we have a lot of stuff, so we'll just kinda give you the lowdown as it were. We have a lot, let's just do the March dates, because we have a lot of stuff happening in March. Yes. We've got.

Special day, March first. March second, special day, March second, that we can't talk about, but we will sort of let you know as it nears. We've got, in March 12th, we're gonna be at the Aspen Comedy Festival at the Wheeler Opera House. So excited to do that, please come out for that. 13th, 14th, 15th at the Mark Ridley Comedy Castle.

Those tickets are selling, which we're very excited about right now already. Minneapolis is the next weekend, the 20th, 21st, or 21st, 22nd. And then we're in Denver, the second, third, and fourth of. Third, fourth, fifth. Third, fourth, and fifth of April, and then we're at Moon Tower.

So great stuff on the rise at supersclarities.com. We're gonna be doing Taggits the first Thursday of every month, which we're at Moon Towers. So great stuff on the rise at supersclarities.com. We're gonna be doing Taggits, the first Thursday of every month, which we're very excited about. That's at the Comedy Store in the main room. The next one is, I believe, March 6th. Good people on it. That's it.

Now Jimmy, new special. March 6th or February 6th. So we got February 6th and then March 6th. So Jimmy, talk to me. How can people consume and support your awesome special? Yeah, they just released it on 800 Pound Gorilla. It's called Walk This Way, spelled W-O-K. Where'd you record?

I recorded in my hometown, Tacoma, Washington. It looks awesome. Were you at a theater? Where were you? Yeah, we were at McMinnamen's Spanish Ballroom. Nice! Yeah, yeah. Come on, McMinnamen's.

I can't believe McMinnamen's traveled into Washington. Yeah. Because on, Mcminimans. I can't believe Mcminimans traveled into Washington. Because it's mostly very Portland thing. Very Portland, very. The coolest bar. I remember when we went to a Mcminimans that was inside of the Kennedy School, Mcminimans. Yeah, they transform historical buildings. This one happened to be like an old Elks hall.

Wow. And it was really cool. It looked so cool. The special looks beautiful. Who shot it, who directed it? Gary Robinson. Nice, fantastic. Are you happy with how it all came out?

I am. Yeah, is this like, is this your first special or no? This is actually my second special and it's the first time I just became really vulnerable. Nice. I talked about my childhood and the trauma and made it funny. Isn't that the best though,

when you make that turn and you're like, oh, I can just talk about these things about myself then. And then people at your shows probably afterwards come up to you and you're like, thank you for saying that. Oh, I had the same thing happen to me. They relate to your depth in a way that they don't when you're just being silly.

So you're getting the last, but you're moving people as well. Yeah, yeah, no, people come up to me all the time and go, I went through exactly the same thing and I'm not even Asian. That's great. Yeah, you're like, really? That's such a shock.

Yeah. That's great. All right, so walk this way. It's on the 800 Pound Gorilla YouTube page, right? That's it, check that out. Check it out, support it. I love it. And then do you have any live dates coming up

or where can people see you live after that? Yeah, I'm at Phoenix Improv. Great. On January 6th, or I should say February 16th. Okay, great. And then March 6th, I'm in Portland, actually. Great, amazing. At Helium or where are you at?

No, actually at Portland McMinneman's. Oh, great. Mission Theater. Amazing, phenomenal. I love it. All right, check them out. At helium or where are you at? Yeah? No actually at Portland McMinneman's great mission Theater amazing phenomenal. I love it alright check them out all your dates are at Jimmy Shindig Jimmy Shindig calm Jimmy Shindig Dot-com I love it Daniel. Let's jump in are you ready. Yes, sir a Couple uses same four letters to name all their kids this was sent in by It's a word scramble. Well. Is that an anagram? Yeah, yeah, but like you know how you get those like word puzzles, and you just Paul Lop yeah, it's like playing boggle

playing boggle with a lap This is anybody we talking about practice at not a game And I feel like you should give us the four letters, and we should try to guess we guess the four we're gonna okay good I love this This couple from Belgium Named their children using the same four letters, and they plan to continue the tradition Excuse me with the next child that they are expecting would you first like to guess how many kids they currently have oh? That they've been too many for letter. Yeah, the one they're about to have another one they have too many kids mm-hmm would you like to guess how many

I say six six I say four seven they're about to have their 12th child why you Elon Musk Jesus for letters do I this has to be for you Antonio Cromartie this is what they look like they're so young but this has to be from a few years ago. Antonio Cromartie? This is what they look like. They're so young. This has to be from a few years ago, right? At least 12. It has to be from the set of Saturday Night Fever. What this guy did. I know, what is that? She looks like she's gonna read your fortune.

She looks like Greta Thunberg. And he has bad coke. He's got all the bad coke. I'm like, hey man, coke shouldn't be brown. Yeah, come on man, you either want some Coke candy or you want me to sell you a sob. I think that's Alf Pacino's outfit and brown. Yeah, come on man, you either want some Coke can or you want me to sell you a sob. I think that's Alf Pacino's outfit and scarf. Say hello to my little friends.

Say hello to my 12 little friends. He was a stand in. This Belgian couple, or this couple from Belgium, either way you want to say it, named their 11 children using the same four letters. They plan to continue the tradition with the 12 that they're expecting. Oh God, this is gonna be the most fun game ever. Okay. to continue the tradition with the 12th that they're expecting. Oh God, this is gonna be the most fun game ever.

Okay. Ready for the, ready for. Can you do 11 44 letters? I know. After you see. The names on these two people are, it's perfect. The names are Gwenny Blankert. And that's the guy.

That's the woman. That's right. And Marino Veneno. That's the woman. Okay, that's right. And Marino Venino. Marino Venino. Marino Venino. That's the only suit Marino Venino can wear. Now he spells Marino the way you'd expect. M-A-R-I-N-O.

Yes, but he spells Verino. Venino. I'm sorry, Venino. V-A-N-E-E-N-O. Venino, Marino Vanino. That is like, you're like a regular Verino Vanino over here. It's like Marino and then it's Verino.

Naming your kids with the same four letter, Marino Verino. Vanino. Vanino, not Verino. Gwenny, Gwenny and Marino, till as old as time, a love that will last forever Mm-hmm will soon have a dozen children all of them cheaper by now you want me to tell you the letters yes And then we'll see how many you can knock out we can get

Okay, all of them have have names using the same four letters sure let's hear them those letters are yep a mm-hmm E L X Using the same four letters. Sure, let's hear them. Those letters are. Yep. A. Mm-hmm. E. Mm-hmm. L. X. X, Alex.

Okay, hold on. The family consists of seven daughters and four sons. Alex could go either way. Meanwhile, Gwenni and Marino, Vanino and Blankard if you're nasty, I got two. Alex Alex are expecting a son this year okay okay Alex axle axle you have to Lexa hold on lex a okay hold on

we said Alex right axle you got axle yeah you said what was Alexa yeah that's the 10 year old so so far you have the 13 year old the 12 year old and the 10 year old three jump the 11 year old lax Lax e Do not have an L. A ex lakes L a ex No, what zale okay? I say le xale that's a year old okay? Xela Zela, what is it Zela say it again Xela Zela? Yeah, it has to be yes, it has to be no what no wow? So they got room for one more

Yeah, so you guys have come up with three they don't have we have three you guys have three kids, okay? So so far you have Alex Axel a e lexa a e lx ales No, no, that's pretty good to e l e lacks e lacks yeah to e l e l x e l a x e l a x Come on jump in here Okay, you want to give you another one? I did Alex you did Alex you did did axle you did axle X you did like X a e l jail X a e l yeah, that's your nine-year-old

Jail yes X Do me xl extra large No, okay I'll run them down le ax leaks. Yes, that's a four-year-old. Thank you. Thank you got that okay 13 year old Alex 12 year old axle

11 year old Forgive me if you guys yell at me be like we said that one. This is very confusing to look at all these four I'm sure we did Zeila ex-ie la yes, yeah We said lexa that's the ten-year-old nine-year-old. I need some Lexapro just to handle all this I think we said this one X a e L. Yep, shale okay, eight-year-old X e a L. That's the same they just flipped it no Five-year-old X E a L. That's the same they just flipped it no Five year old

Ex-la ex-la oh we forgot x-lac yeah Four year old I think we said this one that came out easy le ax yeah leaks leaks Leaks WikiLeaks two-year-oldold mean a leaks. I think this one was said Zale or I'm sorry X ale is jail jail jail one year old ELA X elax elax do that and you said no, sorry and six month old Al X II how can you have a one-year-old? Al's e al X II How can you have a one-year-old? Alzy Alzy Alzy Al XE

She yeah a couple plants to name their 12th child using the same letters However, they aren't going to have any more children after he's born. I mean good at this point. Hey, thanks sir Thanks for being reasonable 12 Idiots, how you have to be rich. I mean every every, here's the thing. And it's not like you get a discount by using the same four letters. But also, this is, okay, we are living in a time where people don't have to write anything down. You just have to say, so each of the names sound different except for Jail and Zail.

Zail and jail. Zael? Zael, like, no, and by the way, they're like the same age. So one's eight and one's nine, or whatever it is. So like, you're yelling at them because they're doing something terrible because that's just what the eight and nine-year-old kids do. No, they're doing, they're being eight and nine-year-old kids.

So you're yelling at them and it's like, no, which one are you yelling at? I'm yelling at Jail, not Jal, but Jal was the one who did the thing that was wrong.ail is the one who's getting named reamed for it. What are the different? Among the any of the languages we get off your sister. You can get off an X G and G is an X X Okay. Yeah, yeah, I don't know shit At a certain point my daughter doesn't even matter my daughter's taking like they could just use the four letters and pronounce it

However, they why I thought so xx is the x is used in like Mandarin. Yes. Yes My daughter's taking Mandarin and so there's a place in Mexico There's a place in Mexico City like south It's like has canals like in the south part of Mexico City a neighborhood called Zolche Milco Mm-hmm, and that starts with an X. Yeah, it's crazy. I think you just named one of these eggs gonna Give it to you. I think they should have gave it Roman numerals I I X is our eight year old. All right, these kids, I mean, it's hard enough,

like at a certain point when you're a parent and like you have two kids and they're acting like crazy, I've called them the dog name, like I'm losing my brain. Yes. These people who are dressed like they're in Saturday night fever. They're trying to give themselves dementia. Right, they're gonna have dementia at age 30.

No, they don't care. They're doing this to get internet attention. That's right. That's all they are doing. They started it 13 years ago. I don't care. It's like the Chrisleys. They're like, now we can make something of ourselves.

You saw their wedding. They're gonna be a sh- They had 12 kids for clickbait? Yes, that's it. You know what, if that's the case, I respect it. That's what they call their kids. Clickbait. If you're gonna go that hard in the paint,

for a click, you gotta like and subscribe. That would be the TLC show about this. Clickbait. Clickbait. The color kids. Clickbait. The color kids. If you're gonna go that hard in the paint, for a click, gotta like and subscribe. That would be the TLC show about this. Clickbait. Clickbait. So we were in La Jolla doing shows this past weekend as we were recording this. And there was just a period of time where I like, there were no sports on that I wanted to watch,

and for like a three hour period of time, I watched the same show on TLC, back to back to back to back to back and I never watched that never ever Ever what were you on a plane? It was like I was on a plane or on a cruise or so. What did you watch? It was like 90 it before the 90 day 90 days before but it's like oh, I love last resort is the name It last resort. So it's couples married Wedding day fiance. Kind of, couples who are having problems. Great. Already all in.

But not be together. They go to this resort for their last resort to like try different things. And the show was, they film it, and this show that I watched over and over were different couplings of the people. Two women, two wives, a woman and a guy who's not her husband and somebody else watching video of stuff that happened

and them being like, yeah, that's crazy that that happened. Oh, this bitch over here. I mean, it was like, it was insane. I was like, dude, you gotta watch Married at First Sight. I can't! Married at First Sight? I got through a season of that. You did? You know that?

Okay, so Married at First Sight, this is insane. Jimmy, I love that you're all in this. This is. Okay, so married at first sight. This is insane. Jimmy, I love that you're all in this. This is people who wanna be married, they wanna be married so badly. Right. That they're like. Do they?

Yes, they do. I mean, they think they do. No, no, they think they do. They think they do. You don't want this. They get a pastor and two relationship psychologists and they interview them deeply and then they match them with someone

who they think would be a good fit for them. They meet at their wedding. No. They meet at their wedding. Nope. Then they have a wedding party with families there. It's a modern day arranged marriage. Totally.

Families are there and all that stuff, but families don't know each other. It's not like they've approved this union. So some arranged marriages, people know each other. You're gonna marry my niece. So they marry each other, then they get to know, then they have a honeymoon with this random person. Wow.

That's fully filmed with all these other couples who are going through it too. Then there's like eight weeks of them getting to know each other in a house where they live together. And they annul the wedding. And then they decide if they wanna keep it or not. They wanna keep it going or not. That's great.

And they go to couples therapy along the way and they go to this, it's kind of fascinating. Also, 90-day fiancé could be swapped with 60 days in. Right? The prison? Yeah, exactly, both you're kind of locked into something. That's probably not on the air, right? Somebody probably got killed and then I took myself to the...

Someone got their throat slit by a bed sheet. But anyway, anyway. Good times. I just watched a ton of that. But I feel like this show... These people are trying to be on a show like that. They're trying to do their show. Like, you know...

I mean, do you meet someone and say you want to have 12 kids? At what point are you like, I guess we're... Should Joss be called clickbait? If this show I guess we're, football team with one backup. Four letter, children are four letter words. Well with names like that, you don't know how many of them are gonna survive at school, so. I think you're banking on,

so back in the day, many, many, many century, or century ago or so, 100 years ago people would have six kids, just have 12 kids, cause four aren't gonna make it. Right. So now you got eight. Or you're like, we need help on the farm.

Yeah, that's right. Help on the farm, or these people raise these kids, you're the older brother, you gotta raise them. I mean, at this point, it's a free for all. It's jail versus Alex. Dude, that's unbelievable. Right from the start, we had set the bar at 12, and we will stick to that.

So they started saying we want 12. That's unbelievable right from the start. We had set the bar at 12 and we will stick to that great Started saying we want 12. Well, I'm gonna beat this woman's vagina up. Yeah, I mean She's got to be tired all the time. She's ruined coming and going no pun intended. All right, that's story number two Jason got story number three. Give us a little tiny taste We're gonna say this woman like, you know how you like try to hide in plain sight sometimes in many different ways? This woman tried to do it and got busted. There you go, Jimmy Shin's with us. We'll find out what Dan's got going

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there's more than people tell. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Stop it, you, you stop it. We are back, I'm so happy Jimmy Shin's with us, got a new special out, Walk This Way, W-O-K. It's on 800 Pound Gorilla, you can check that out. Check him out, jimmyshindig.com for any of his dates and stuff. Daniel, speaking of, are you worried that someone

was gonna do a special woke this way, making fun of woke culture? No. There's nothing to do with yours. Woke this, how do you be woke? How do you be woke? Let's go. Fields for specials.

Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna do dates. Let's do it. Go to DanielV special. Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna do dates. Let's do it. Go to danielvankirk.com. I'm gonna be in Milwaukee, I'm gonna be in Denver, I'm gonna be in Green Lake, I'm gonna be in New Orleans. Other dates are being announced probably already by the time you hear this.

Everything is at danielvankirk.com and I have my podcast, The Midnight Air, which drops here on Mondays. It's an overnight radio podcast. Super fun. Just something to keep you company. And I will be, I'm interviewing townies. I mean, it can be anyone. It can be a friend of a townie,

if you know somebody who just has a type of job where someone goes, I don't know if anybody's done that before, and I'll be doing those interviews this year when I'm on the road. So if you email me and say, oh oh I run my family's hot dog stand I would love to come and have a conversation. You let me know where you're at. I work at the race track in person I want all the key all I want every story of those. Yes, who better to horse train better to interview that Yeah, I'm gonna buy you a book. I'm gonna buy a really cool book. Yeah

Don't tell him. I'm not just get it for him. Okay, I love it. You ready? Here we go, this was sent to, oh, I don't know who sent this in. I almost wrote it and I forgot it. Okay, sorry. Here's the headline. Florida woman arrested with drugs in bag labeled,

definitely not a bag full of drugs. Okay, now come on. That is just. We've had this happen before. Oh yeah, yeah, people have. I'm not saying it's the same story. No, no, but. Maybe.

You know when someone's like, I'm gonna put a label on this bag and says this isn't drugs and you're an organized fuck up Why not just use a crown royal bag like everybody else right? Thank you, Dan Or why not because because they maybe they think that they're just like they've outsmarted the cops They're like once they see this message on here. No one's gonna be the Wiley Coyote Yeah, all right P right all right P The Wiley Coyote? Yeah. RIP. RIP Wiley Coyote movie. Geez.

Wiley Coyote movie got RIP'd? Yeah, remember they shot the whole thing, it was supposed to be great, and then Warner Brothers took the tax right off. What? What, really? It's never gonna be easy. Who was in Army Hammer movie?

Yeah, remember they did this. Who was the lead in it? It's somebody we all are familiar with. Jason Sudeikis? I can see Sudeikis being... I have no idea. It does feel like that sort of wheelhouse. He would be Wiley Cutty.

It's supposed to be great. Brevard County, Florida. A Central Florida woman was arrested over the weekend on drug possession charges for the second time this month. According to the Brevard County Sheriff's Office, during her most recent arrest, she was caught carrying drugs in a bag with the words, definitely not a bag full of drugs. Full of, full of, definitely not, full of.

Definitely in full of. Full of is this. She's definitely not full of shit. Right, but I'm like, you could've just said, these aren't drugs. But the definitive nature and the size of how much. I think it's hiding in plain sight, you know what I mean? That's what I mean, yeah, she's out there. It's so obvious that. Yeah, it's hiding in plain sight. You know what I mean? Right, that's what I mean.

Yeah, she's out there. It's so obvious that maybe they might. Yeah, it's like when someone commits a crime and goes back to the scene of the crime and is like, what's going on here? You guys need help? Of course. That's what she's doing.

It happens a lot. But it is also like one of those moments where someone, a cop comes up to someone and says, hey man, what's going on with you? And the person responds, I didn't kill my wife. And they're like, well, hang on a second. No one asked you that. We just said what's going on with you? And the person responds, I didn't kill my wife. And they're like, well, hang on a second. No one asked you that. We just said what's going on with you.

Also, there is a world in which she's right. It's definitely not a bag full of drugs. Could be a bag of drugs. Semi-full. It was only half full. What is your perception of full? That's how I live my life. I look at the bag of drugs half full.

I say it's half empty. Taryn Acree. Taryn Acree. Taryn Acree? Of Melbourne. Sounds like a golf course. Can you play Taryn Acree? I have. It's really nice. I did the North course.

Did you do the South course? It's a lot of hills, but it's nice. Was booked into the Beaver County jail on Saturday on several drug-related charges, including trafficking and meth, possession of methamphetamine with an intent to sell him, possession of methamphetamine. Dep intent to sell in possession of her for now

Deputies arrested a Cree after pulling over a vehicle when she was a passenger driver Consented to a search of the vehicle sure don't do that. What well, no, what is she if you were about the bag is labeled This is her angle. I'm out. I have it out Yeah, this is her I knew it was gonna be meth because a coke dealer would be a little bit more Right a little bit about it. We would have already had a few quotes by now. You cagey? They have a lot to say. You know all these bags on the side, you should buy some.

I got a great idea for you guys. It's a business, it's like, shut up dude, I know it's Coke. Deputies discovered that a Cree had several bags with her, one with the label, definitely not a bag full of drugs. Thank you. And this is the quote from the county sheriff's office, the Brevard County Sheriff, this is the part you just can't make up.

Yeah, you could. You could make it up. You could make that up. You could make it up. It's not, okay, as Acre had a few bags, one of them had the words, definitely not a bag full of drugs printed on it, the county sheriff, you can make it up.

Among her belongings included the ironically labeled bag. Anybody was like, I can't believe you'd make this up. I'm like, go watch everything all at once. Everywhere all at once, yeah. Look what they made up. They made up. You think we can't make up? make this up. I'm like, go watch everything all at once. Everywhere all at once, yeah. Look what they made up. They made up. You think we can't make up. A conversation between two rocks?

Let's go. The conversation between two rocks is amazing. Just made me so happy. God bless it. Among their belongings. That Sack Alphinaxes thing? What, between two rocks? Yeah.

I thought it was between two firms. It might be both. Needles, Narcon, digital scales, small baggies, cut straws. You got a digital scale. Yeah, this is a business plan. You have a business plan. You have a business plan.

Yes, you got this. The digital scale. You're prepared for any deal at any moment. She's like sending stuff via. Well, and she's definitely learned her lesson because the arrest came nearly. Ship station. How many weeks after a Cree was detained

during another traffic stop? Oh, she did. many weeks after a Cree was detained during another traffic stop Oh, there's Aaron a Cree seven weeks Yeah, when they busted her they should go you're definitely not going to yeah, you're definitely going to jail. That's right I think this second arrest happened three weeks after the first one. I said seven seven weeks. What do you think? Two months two months eight weeks, okay get your think? Oh. Two months. Two months. So eight weeks, okay. Get your answers in. This happened two weeks after the other.

Oh, come on. You're not learning your lesson. A label will not save you. You never wanna be in a situation where the cop is like, again? Please. Like, that's too off. What do you notice?

You? Andy Griffith. We know her. The ushe? The ushe. All right, we'll get out of here on this. How old? How old is Taryn Acree? This is a woman who has, I know her. Right. The ushe. The ushe. All right, we'll get out of here on this. Okay. How old?

How old is Taryn Acree? This is a woman who has, she has a label. She sounds like a Dune character now that I think about it. Right, yeah. It's like her head is a snake. I'm gonna go 32 years old. 32?

I think 41. Jimmy, what do you think? I say 48. 48? Yeah could all go up or down here. Jackie Robinson, I'm gonna Jackie Robinson, 42 this one. I'll go 31. 47. 47, all right, get your answers in. See Walk This Way, 800 pound gorilla YouTube page. JimmyShindig.com. JimmyShindig.com, come see Daniel James.

He's a great guy. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. He's a great guy.

He's a great guy. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. 47. 47. All right, get your answers in. See Walk This Way, 800 pound gorilla YouTube page. Go see. JimmyShindig.com. JimmyShindig.com. Come see Daniel, danielkirk.com. Check out the Midnight Air, his podcast, and then come see us as we're gonna be in, as we mentioned, all those wonderful places,

Detroit, Minneapolis, Denver. Taryn at Cree is, this is not a bag full of drugs lady. Nope. Is not 31 years old. Hey Daniel! Dan got it right! is this is not a bag full of drugs lady. It's not 31 years old. Hey Daniel, Dan got it right. All right, I love you guys. Thanks for watching.

Thanks for listening and oh snap, we gotta get back to work. Stick around, make a sound. There's more to People Town.