Dumb People Town - John Ross Bowie - The Cool In Faculty

Episode Date: September 22, 2026

Actor John Ross Bowie (Stuart Fails to Save the Universe) stops by as Randy describes a 4th grade teacher that created a fart corner in her classroom, Jason explains how a teacher got caught doing cocaine at a staff Christmas party, and Daniel warns against delivering Door Dash naked, and so much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys on a fantastic Dump People Town today. We have our great friend John Ross Bowie and amazing stories. We've got a fart corner. We've got a Coke teacher and we've got a naked door dash. All I have to say is the way it comes out and as hard as it goes and it goes so hard. Unintended. You guys are going to love it with John Ross Bowie on this week's Dump People Town. Dan and Rand and Jay will share tales of dope so unaware they lack and race and sometimes choose the

Life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic bail In Florida There's half-rice bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this Don't So listen to our podcast band

With co-host Our man Dan Man dirt Don't be a jerk Because when the music Which the funny hits Stick around Make a sound

Come your down It's Dump People Town Hey Tadies Welcome to another episode Of Dumb People Town Population You Population Bowie John Ross Bowie

The third The fourth? No The first? Just the one Negative one? No John Rosvalli

You got a great new show out And we're going to talk about it in a little bit But before we get to the damn thing The world is getting dumber Can we just all agree that the world is getting A lot? You can't hear no argument from me No argument from him

The world's getting dumber You're on a very smart show And we'll get to in a little bit But the world's getting dumbing The only way to fight back is through comedy I agree Our friends are wonderful dumb boots Or not

We don't even fight at all We just stand back and point Yep, that. And we're trying to understand why. Why would you make a garbage can into a car? Some things are so. Is that a spoiler? No.

You know what? Eventually? Eventually. But yeah, there is a spoiler on the bag. Your best friend is a raccoon. Tell me more. That's what you said to the guy in the garbage can car. Is that a spoiler?

Yeah. Spoiler alert. Amazing. God, I set myself up for that. You did. Walked head first. Okay. I got a story.

Should we jump right now? Let's do it. It's sent in by our good friend Alvin Catab. We always wait for the Cadetabay eggs on Easter. They're my favorite. Just gorgeous. Carmel on the outside. All right.

So here's what it is. Okay. At a Catabay 36 if you want to follow him on Twitter. Good dude. Here we go. Great dude. Fourth grade teacher goes viral for creating a, quote, fart corner in the classroom to, quote, keep the funk in one area.

How's my friends? I mean, I know good news and farts travel fast, but the truth is this is a, A fart corner. A fart corner is genius. I followed this new story. This is not being sprung on me. I followed this new story when it broke. Like a fart.

Like a fart, this is not being sprung on you. No, no, no. I was in the corner for that. I was in the pocket for the story. Anyway, it went quasi-viral among my friend group. Great. I love it. I don't, so I'm sorry, did they put the word visionary before teacher?

We're going to get, right? Teacher of the year. Like, I can see all of us having a friend who's a comic that like, like, maybe only one of us doesn't know. And the other three of us are like, you see that comic order there? Like I wrote a children's book called Fart Corner. Fart Cards has more money than you ever.

Fart Cohnerner. Wasn't one of his stand-up specials? The fardist? It was. Yeah. He could write Fartner. Because it's probably a great lesson in context. Like, right?

Well, in this place, it's okay to do that. Knowing where to do it. It's like everyone poops. Why aren't we talking about this thing? We should be talking two kids about two things more. Farts and death. 100%. 100%.

Taxes. And I think if you do, if everyone, now, here's the thing there, you're on a weird honor system, though, because everyone has to, like, go to the fart corner so that no one is shamed. Everyone does have to agree that that's where we go to fart. And there can't be any sort of, like, weird, like, like, I cut one one time in fifth grade and I tried to blame the next guy. I tried to blame a guy who was, who was behind me. Everyone looked at me because it was clear as a bell, and I went over my shoulder. You did an elbow of thumb point? I absolutely tried to nail it.

The one kid who was nerdier than me, and he was doing, no, John Bowie, no John Bowie, and would not have it. And I won't give his name, but I did Google him, and he has several patents. He's doing it. Oh, yeah, yeah, of course. It's a stickler for making it to sure it stops right. I'm going to say it. Say it. I don't care that you broke your elbow.

All right. Have you ever done the thing where you accidentally do it and then try to recreate the noise so that people think you were? Yeah, like that was like a sneaker. It's like a, hmm. And so you rub your sneaker across the floor? You drag your chair for a moment, see if that works. I just think there's just so much we can move so far ahead. If we accept the fact that people are going to fart,

and if you go do it in that corner, that's okay. You put the gerbil over there. Put the gerbil over there. The gerbil won't mind. The class dribble over there is probably going to love it. They're disgusting. Why is the gerbil always sleeping? Types of medication with that gerbil.

The journal is drowning in methane. So here we go. Quote, the response has been overall very optimistic, and most people find it amusing, which I'm absolutely grateful for. Yes. Valessia Broussard tells People Magazine. This is what People Magazine is writing about. People Magazine getting into the real news.

At first glance, a class... The paper of record, I think we want to call it, right? The old great lady. This is a story about people. This is a story about people. A classroom fart corner sounds like a set up to a fourth grade joke. No, it does not. No.

Nope. But Valencia, and I really, I don't want to tell. tell her how to pronounce or spell her name. Valencia. Broussard, A. We're going to find out how she is a lady. From Pierland, Texas. Pearland, Texas. Perlin, Texas.

Perlin. Perlund. Which is they have Killian's barbecue. If you're eating Killian's barbecue, get V to the Fart Corner. Oh, I see. What is this outside of Perlin? Houston. Houston.

Okay. Any possibility this is related to Matthew Bissard, the comic from Houston. No. Guys? Maybe. Should we text him? Check out. Check out.

All you say. What do you know about Fort Corner? Yeah, that's right. Just asking. You do that as I can do. Could be by marriage? We start creating an unconventional corner at the beginning of his, of, of this school year after noticing how comfortable her students have become with passing gas around one another.

All right. TikTok explaining the idea of love earning nearly how many views. How many views on the video? On the TikTok thing. Explaining about this is the Fart Corner. I'm going to say $2.5 million. I'm going to go $3.6. 5.9.

You guys are far underestimated. 50 million people. Wow. And turning an ordinary question. Closest and not going over. That one, winner, winner. Into an internet sensation. However, beneath all the laughs,

I don't know if there's that many laughs. We're creating the laughs. Broussard tells people exclusively that there's a more meaningful reason. The bigger idea is that while we were all different, read at different levels, have different homelines and have different personalities. We all fart. We all, we're all human is what she said. Oh, okay.

Broussard is in her 15th year of teaching, currently teaches fourth grade reading. 14 years of just putting up with this and the line has been drawn. A woman takes it and takes it then one day she doesn't. She breaks. Yeah. So she breaks just like a woman. So the rules.

She breaks wind. Just like the woman. Bob Dylan is so thrilled to be quoted in this content. If you added win to the Bob Dylan lyrics, she breaks win just like a woman. Just like a little girl. She breaks win just like a little girl. A kindergarten. When preparing the classroom for the new school year, she started thinking about the routines

and expectations that would help her students have a six successful year and decided it was time to address that behavior. Yes. And that it becomes so common, it was happening nearly every day. Over the past few years, as I said, noticed that my students were shockingly and extremely comfortable with passing gas in front of one another. Yeah, kids don't care. When I say in front of one another, that also means in each other's faces.

No. Well, the kid who sat behind John Bowie cared. Yeah. By the way, it was still stigmatized in the early 80s, I'll have you now. She said, when I say in front of one another, that also means on one another. She explained. They would fart in their desks while. doing assignments while sharpening pencils, which is the best time to fart.

I think so. What is she given these kids? When doing collaborative work and a collaborative fart is one of the best farts ever. It's like a call and response. Someone's farting and someone's answering. That's a project. Fartopo. There you go.

Well. Marco fado. While walking around the classroom looking for a laptop, etc. I love, well, you'd have to go, et cetera. We know there are other things. Yes. Instead of treating the behavior as something shameful, however, Bruce Sar decided to create a designated place for students to handle their toots with confidence

to keep the funk in one area. But you know one kid sits closest to fart more. Yeah. And so wait. And they're going to deal with that a lot later in line. What is his end game? Is he like, is he just wants to be there just so we can step over? He has to.

Assignment of. Oh, I shakes. His end game is someone else's end game. Okay. I also think that you can kill a couple birds with one stone. Including the kids sitting closest to fart. corner. Put the pencil sharpener there too. Put the pencil sharpener

there too. Because, A, it's going to make a noise. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to make a noise. That's a great call. That's a really good call. It's so smart. Electric pencil sharpener even better. Oh, yeah. No, it has to be, no, yeah, it has to be one of the bizz ones, you know. Yeah. All right. I know enough emphasis that they are more than welcome to use the restroom. The corner, complete with air fresheners, give students another choice. Can we see that photo again if that's no trouble?

Yeah. Because I have a comment about the... So there's two, like, air fresheners, and then there's one, like, Lysol. Well, the Lysol is just... And you might not be able to see it because of production stuff here. There's also a Fabriz.

Yeah, Fabriz. There's a lot of stuff there to cover. But the Lysol is like, somebody's going to have some industrial level of part. Where there's going to be some cleanup. Yeah, like, there's something... It sort of suggests that, like, there's something, like, viral going on.

Literally. More viral than the TikTok itself. Yeah, that might have to be addressed through some sort of, like, But also like, we've all made the mistake right next to Fart Corner is their Oops C closet. Yeah, this is where if Fart Corner went worse than expected, you could go into a Unexpected closet.

Fart Corner, shark closet? Shark closet is even more on the nose. Well, might seem as to say, by the way, shark closet, I saw them open for Devo and they were good. Unbelievable. Really good. It might seem like a silly approach to others was for Broussard, a way of reframing a normal bodily function that adults often view.

was taboo. Start people young, just accepting things and not having the shame. I slowly began to respect the fact that nine and ten year olds were bold enough to know nine and ten. How old were you? You said fifth grade? I was ten, yeah. Fifth grade? It's 2011, yeah. 10, 11, which in the long run causes digestive issues. She's now bringing it to digestion. Luckily, the students have responded very positive of the idea of Far Corner with a little hesitation. They regularly use the corner and return to their schoolwork. Ten is like getting to the point where people are starting to recognize their, I thought it was kindergarten. That's like, we're talking in a, a different league here.

I do wonder if, I mean, if the kids are just farting in front of each other anyway, there's no, there already is no shame. Yeah. But the corner puts the funk in one area. No, I guess. But the corner does, like, in the old days, you went in the corner when you were bad. Yeah, Dunst Corp. Right, yeah.

Dunst cap. Right. I'm just thinking of, like, the kid who doesn't give a shit. Like, the kid who, when he bowls, bowls it and doesn't even wait to see where it turns around. Kid who just walks through. These get caught. Confidence that you haven't seen. He's going up to read a book report.

He just says, excuse me. I got to make a stop off at Fart Corner. Excuse me. It's like when you add to say it. I am going to talk about tales from a fourth grade nothing, but not before I destroy Fart Corner. It was the best at times. Hang on what's like. Are you there?

It's me, Margaret. I'll show you I'm there. Time out a second. When did you start reading Dickens, man? That's so great. That's impressive. A tale of one tail. Ah.

Wait. Tale of two shitting. And I'll be right back to tell you what I thought of Mrs. Haversham. Because it's normalized this generation. It is not embarrassed from what I've seen. They simply go to the corner, handle their business, come back. Corner was even received with some love from students who had and who have chose to help to decorate it, which we saw flowers for each other. Fart Corner.

There's a gas station, the gas station area, which I think is fantastic. Parents who have visited the classroom. Gas them up. Gas these kids up! If you go for a parent-teacher conference at the dad who's like, or the mom who feels comfortable enough to walk to Far Corner and drop their deposit. Drop their deposit. After posting the video, Far Corner on our library starts, TikTok quickly reached millions of viewers.

Okay. Most of them have taught the teaching. Exactly. Just become an influencer. Also sparked stories from people who said they wish they had a similar option in their corporate offices, homes, and classrooms. First of all, you do. Cutest gal.

You're an adult. It's outside. She is adorable. She's adored. I love everything she's putting out there. Yeah, the response overall optimistic. And she's like, let her make more. money off of her TikTok. Like, teachers aren't being paid enough.

100%. So let them become a book. I hope she's making mad ad revenue off this one. And continues to be a teacher. Let her cook. Let her let them bake. Bake those brownies, lady. Now her unusual classroom idea has gone viral. Brousard hopes. Other teachers will take the same flexible approach to creating positive environment. Her advice is less about copying our idea and more about finding what was... Copperphelia. Copperphelia, a lot worse for each idea, regardless of what they may be. students and teachers deserve to be comfortable and content throughout the school day broussard tells people yeah we will get out of here on this how old story down yeah how old is uh

no fart corner how old is this wonderful teacher far corner does feel like space mountain like that could be its own ride at disney fart corner it's just like one area 15 years of teaching i mean i'm not imagine she got she went straight out of school and into the game 37 yeah i'll give you that guess i'll go 36 45 one of you is one year off 35. So go up or down. 38. 44.

Miss Broussard. And even if she's married, goes by Missford. Valescia, a.k.a. Valencia, Broussard. The architect of Fart Corner

is. I mean, again, isn't Poo Corner the thing, like, Welcome Down to Poo Corner? Wasn't that like a... House on Poo Corner. Is right next to Fart Corner.

It's on the cul-de-sac. It's right next to Fart Corner. The whole season of the wire was shot on Fart Corner. Valesia. up in the towers, Velesia, don't call me,

Valencia, Broussard is 38 years old. Hey! John Ross Bally walks in and blows it out in. walks in and walks it off. That is story number one.

When we come back, we'll talk about Johns' new show, how you can watch it. I'm so happy. I mean, the guy does a fantastic run on a show speechless,

and then he gets another show. We're very excited, and we'll tell you what we have going on. Lots of good stuff. It's dumb people town with the great John Ross Bowie. We'll be right back.

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Half off at just $50. That's amazing. That's 50% off your first year at Monarch.com with the code DPT. Stick around. Make a sound. Come you're down. It's dumb people town. Hey, gang.

Welcome back to the show before we get into and talk about your show. We've got a lot of stuff coming up. Lots of live dates plus a special that we are taping. which has come together fast and we're very excited to do it. But here's a deal. So we are in Rochester this weekend, although I think this will probably drop after that. But you had a great time in Rochester. It was great.

Thank you to everyone in Rochester, New York came out. We just did spots in New York City. Thank you to everybody in New York City. It's the first time in a long time. We did spots. Very excited about that. And then we are taping our special. We're going to be at JFL Toronto doing headlining shows on the 25th and 26 of September

and doing two tag-it shows late at night. Very excited to be part of the JFL. And then on Sunday, the 27th at the Illusion and Magic Lounge in Los Angeles. All of you, D.P. If you're a D.P.T. and you live in the L.A. area and you're not at this show, what are we doing? Southern California, Central California. People often ask us, when can we see you do sets?

And, you know, if we're doing sets at the comedy store or the Laugh Factory or the ICE or what it, you're welcome to come. You're welcome to come. That's a 15-minute set. This is our hour. We love this. We are so excited about this hour. Excited about the guys who are shooting. It's the same people who shot Patton.

special and Ron Funches and Michael Ian Black and Janine Garofalo. Many great people have worked with these guys. They shoot it. They put it together. They edit it. They do a wonderful job. And then they go try and sell it somewhere. And they put it on a platform, wherever that may be.

Who knows? We don't know where it's going to be as soon as it drops. Of course, that's your next thing is everybody listen to it or watch it and give feedback. But we want it packed. You really want feedback? No. Okay. I want to call just a bit of bullshit on that.

You can send all your feedback to fart corner. The hours in the can at this point. I don't know that you desperately need feedback at this point. We'll take only positive feedback. All good positive feedback. No, we love that. So that's what's happening. And then in October, we're in Ann Arbor, Michigan with the great Rafe Williams at the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase, the 15th through the 17th.

Then Flyover Fest, we're doing so much fun stuff at the Flyover Fest, including commentating on bowling that is happening on a Saturday. That is going to just be. Saturday or Friday? Is it Friday? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Anyway, if you're in St. Louis, and then we have a great show at Coco, which is like this beautiful theater there on Friday night. Friday night.

Friday night. The Koch Show. And so all that stuff, Superscloglars.com, sign up your email so that we can let you know more coming near you. That's what we got's going on

and we'll let you know when the special is coming out. John Ross Bowie, your new show, which is a, I don't want to call it a spin-off. It's a spinoffy. But it's a very unusual spinoff.

Yeah. I mean, it's like, I love, because it's not spun on the same network, even. It's not spun on the same network. It's not spun in the same genre. It's, it's not a multi-cam.

No, it is a spin-off. in name anyway, of Big Bang Theory, and it takes a bunch of the secondary characters from that show and throws them... Who were all amazing. Throws them and throws us

into the multiverse, and it's called Stuart Fails to Save the Universe. Love it, which I love. And it is on HBO Max, which is HBO Max, which I think will still be HBO Max by the time this drops. Yes.

But yeah, it's a... It's weird because it's a... I was just thinking the other day, it's hard to think of any sort of precedent for a sci-fi show that came off of a multi-cam traditional sitcom. Except that they birthed these. I love that they're doing this,

but these characters were birthed. And they're all the same characters just blown out in the way that you can do a single camera of these things, which is even cooler, which you've done single camera work. So you know. It's really fun.

It's just, it's very, it feels very much like you're doing a movie every week. And it's, and there's an effects aspect to it. I did more green screen. work, more wirework, more fight choreography than I've ever done in

my career. I get my ass kicked in the first episode by both Lauren Lapkis and Brian Possein. Let's go. Essentially, it's like fighting the same person. Yeah, it's a canny. I am forever calling them by the wrong name. Same height, same weight, same reach. I am forever calling them by the wrong name.

Ryan. But it's, yeah, but they're, yeah, it's a really fun, fun gig. And the, the character was sort of the asshole on the old show and he's still kind of the asshole now, but he's sort of a necessary asshole.

He's like the Dr. Smith on Lost in Space kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. It's great. So, uh, timely reference. But, um, yeah,

so it's, uh, it's a blast and we are, we're picked up for a second season. Oh, yes, dude. That is so great,

man. So we get to work in the new year on that. Oh, I'm so happy for you as people are struggling to find work. It is great that a good show like this is happening. And filled with great talented people. I look forward to doing a guest star on that thing. I would love it.

Love that. have you guys. A friend of, he doesn't write the showroom. I know, but I said he would love to have us. I would love to have us. That's best I can do. I put it out in the universe. I throw it into Fart Corner. In the multiverse. It's up on the dream, it's up on the vision board. Put a pen in

it. I am I literally talked to a friend of mine this morning and I'm not going to name him, but he did mention this amazing audition he had to play sort of a property brother's spin off on what we do in the

that he felt like he just crushed it. Yeah. Who did that? Who got that? I don't remember. Okay. You did that. Thank you.

Hey. I mentioned what I was doing today. It was like, oh, this is funny story about those guys. And he sat there while he was doing it like, they're just going to give this to the Sclaris, man. So, I mean, there you have it. We thought that potentially the property brothers were going to get it, the actual property brothers. But then we're like reading through it and we're like, no, there's more comedy to be done. You guys crush it.

There's so much more comedy to be done. And it was a blast. Oh, you do. You don't have to mention who it is, but I'm sorry. It feels good to put someone else down. Feels good to like to make someone out. He's fine, by the way. He's, I sure he's doing great.

I'm sure he's doing far better than us. Take us away, Jay. All right, here we go. Story number two. And I love that we're staying in school for this. We are. Keeping in school. This was sent in by me.

You found it. I sent this in. Great. Great. Teacher banned for taking cocaine at school party. Ban for what? Van Van Van for having good ideas. Does take it mean someone else brought it? So you can't.

Turn down for what? Turned in, right. Yeah, by the way, ingesting cocaine or confiscating cocaine? That's not that the verb taking. Yeah, maybe they're madder. Taking. You took all our fucking cocaine. What's the way?

The PTA bought us that cocaine. We had a fucking lid for the PTA. And you took it. Dude, we, first of all, we had a bake sale where we, everyone got baked and we smoked pot. Now you're getting mad at us for the cocaine party. All right, here we go. Rowan Barnacote. That can't be the name.

That's not. That's a, that's a capital. Captcha name. Yeah, that's an expansion pack for the new version of code. Is that Rowan Atkinson's character? No, that's Ronnicot. A coat of barnacles. Like, if you were to, like, shave off the barnacles.

Barnacote is, if you told me Inspector Gadgett. If you told me Inspector Gadget's real name was Rowan Barnacote, I would be like. For sure. Rowan Barnacote is the name of, like, one of the, those Japanese video games where they have to come up with American names. Right. For their baseball players, Rowan Barnacote is one of, like, your outfielder. on a Japanese video game about American baseball.

I like apple pie. Yes. He likes flags and pie. Is that Mr. Bean's real name? Rowan Barnacote. Yeah. Thank you. I'm not going to tell you how old he is.

We'll guess later. I'm sure. I mean, it's an old person's name. He worked at Pool Academy in Cornwall. Okay. He consumed. Yeah, England. Jolly England.

He consumed cocaine during a staff Christmas event, December 2020. Isn't that what Jesus would have done? Yes. Knowing after all. That's what it is. There he got. A streaming of a white Christmas.

A teaching regulation agency, the TRA misconduct panel heard. Barnacote, who took two bags of white powder from a suitcase, then placed them on a table, broke it up with a credit card. We're assuming it's his suitcase. Yeah. Yeah. Broke it up with a credit card and started it through a rolled-up five-pound note. There you go. The panel was told.

The school said Barnacote's conduct, quote, fell well below. the standards we expect of all staff. He didn't share it with anyone. Did not just... Sharing is caring. Sharing is caring. This is a school that you teach, we teach it, we preach it. Teamwork. Also, he's wondering on the party with a suitcase. He came to this party wanting it to be a certain vibe.

He brought a drug suitcase. A drug suitcase. Do you think he put the Pulp Fiction light in it to? I hope so. Open it and God knows what's in there. That's a briefcase, Jay. I know, but you can put that light in anything that you open. Also, they might call briefcases, suitcases over there. They call pants, trousers.

You know, they call a trunk a boot. It's anarchy over there. It is madness. And they call anarchy anarchy. The welfare and safeguarding of students was at its highest priority and that was not happening. But was a staff night.

So the students aren't there. Fuck these kids. I know. Fuck them kids. Barnico joined the school as a maths teacher. It said maths. No, that's what they do over there too. It's so dumb.

Maths is plural, sport is singular. Right. And it's, again, this, We left for a risk. Talks. Maths. How many maths have you been doing? I've been doing a bunch of maths.

Really? Yeah. You sound dumb. I haven't taken a single math since 10th grade. Yeah. I'm two maths down. I'm just going to tell you. How are you doing your maths this year?

Maybe they should take that S off for cocaine. Maths teacher. You think music was playing? Oh, it was silent? I could try to figure out the vibe of this party. It was quiet in there when he did it in? Too quiet. Like, did everyone watch him open the suitcase?

Did he think he was being like casually discreet? Yeah, so that is the question. Like, where? did he open the suitcase to do his rails? Like, was it on the dance? So it's a staff night. There's no kids there. Nobody's there. He's in a lounge. And again, well, first of all, a couple things.

I was initially going to say, we're not paying teachers enough. But on the second hand, that's a lot of blow. Maybe we're paying them too much. Yeah. Maybe England is paying their teachers better than they should be. Slow down. Maybe this is the Robin Williams joke of cocaine is God's way of telling you're making too much money. That is.

Perhaps. Cocaine is the natural leveler. And it is not rails in England. It is rail. Good, good. That's great. He did three rail. He joined the school in September 2020 and resigned in February 24 while the school investigation was ongoing.

He did not attend the TRA hearing. No, he was going to buy more cocaine. At least it was cocaine and not meths. Right. Thank God it's not the meth. You go easy on those myths. The maths and the myths. You do the maths.

Yes. Sure. Can we start that? Sure. Witnesses told the panel Barnacote had repeatedly referred to the cocaine. during the evening. But he bringing it up. He is bringing it up.

He is bringing it out. Yeah, he eventually reached the point where he was like, if no one's gonna say they wanted, like he was like, go. There's, I have an idea for a show. I have a little staff party be awesome in my suitcase. Who wants to have a Coke and a smile. It wants to crank this thing up and not.

No, I mean like skiing, ski. Yeah, we'll go skiing. Yeah, sure. Who feels like some burger sugar? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of times he started out very off

Center referencing until eventually he was like, Who wants to do cocaine? I'm saying cocaine. Somewhere along the ride, he went, somewhere along that journey. He said, who wants to put the cool in faculty? I have an idea for a show called Barnacote Junction. The guy

who goes to teachers' lounges and chops up. It opens up cocaine sitcases. Puts the rail down and says, go do it. According to the ruling, Barnacote also told colleagues, quote, I'm never skint. I always have cash from dealing. So not only is he doing. All right, I go back to, I go back to idea one.

Teachers need to get to be paid better. If he literally broke bad. Motherfucker literally broke bad. He is breaking bad. This is the truth is that you use this like the person who gets caught like breaking into the government system and he just says or he or she is like, you need to pay us more. You need to pay. I found your weakness. You're welcome.

You're welcome for that. He needs to now say to all teachers and that's what he should have said at the teacher hearing is, you're welcome we need to be look at what I have to do just to keep my job yeah yeah so you'd be like one like Frank Abagnalee who like was was caught by the FBI forging checks and then became their leading uh of course he's like I know how to do this forgery expert yeah it needs to be their their number one source on teachers who are dealing cocaine okay nice candy uh the panel found that was more likely than not that the white powder was cocaine and ruled wait a second hang on that seems that seems like we're not committing we don't want to I mean they're not a criminal

investigation, I get that, but like, what if he was just doing a bit with like boric acid and we're all losing our shit? Yeah, guys. I don't want to speak out of school, but this guy was out of school. Snorting out of school. He was out of school. This was a party, but it wasn't at school. They said it was a class A drug situation in its decision.

The panel said that Barnacote's actions accounted to unacceptable professional conduct and conduct that could bring the teaching profession into disrepute. Pute. That's a little heavy. Let's take it easy. One bad apple. Yeah, I was going to say that's a, he seems like an exception, not a rule. I don't want to.

We can't say this is the entire teaching profession. Tons of cocaine. Also, he could be the fun teacher. Right, exactly. He is him being like, I'm the fun guy. He could be. He's got a lot of energy for this. You know, he's alert.

Yeah. He is, okay. Wait, wait, did we cover, did I miss what grade he's teaching? It didn't say what age. It does not say what age. But if you're teaching maths, math. But here's the deal. We had teachers in.

our high school, Mr. Blaha, and I'll call him out by his predatory name out. He used to like put his hands on kids in a way, boys, boys, like touch the back of their neck and like he was so, and he was like part of the swim and coach of the water polo team, boys water polo team. I'm like, this guy is a predator. Yeah. I would much rather have Barna Coat just a little bit of a Coke just a little bit of a Coke just doing lines and like Johnny awake and like helping us break down quadratic functions. Dude, we just came with three new prop ideas. I got some great ideas from the school store. The school store is now selling so much stuff it wasn't selling before.

It is a whole new business. They have a website. It's incredible. They went on Shopify now. They are absolutely doing it. Barnico. Because school is making more money than it ever did. Our supply chain is incredible.

You won't even believe. This guy was up all night. I don't know how. I literally just bought an eight-year-old Ferrari. From the school store. How does we do this? So wait, not that they're going to, I mean, if they say it, they're going to say like, oh, he taught O levels, which doesn't mean nothing to this room. But I am fascinated to hear like, again, the kids weren't around, but is he teaching seven-year-olds?

I don't. Who knows? Or, and by the way, if you're seven-year-olds, do they call it arithmetic? I have more questions than I have answers, guys. I think it's middle school or higher. Yes. I'm going to have Matt. I think specialized.

teachers come in in the middle school level. Right. Mostly high school level. You know what I mean? Of course. He would not be teaching one subject on that. Right. Like you have a fifth grade teacher. You have a fourth grade or whatever those years are considered in a half. And then 12 or 13 is when you have a mass teacher. Start to get. All right. These are. Exactly. Chush. All right. Here we go. We're going to keep going because it found that taking illegal drugs in the presence of colleagues at a school linked event

fell, quote, significantly short of the standards. All right. Whatever. It also found nerd. Nerd. An allegation that he tried to influence. influence a witness's account during the investigation. But that wasn't proven. They couldn't prove that. There was an allegation of it.

And he's trying to do this. He's like, you want some Coke just to not talk? Barna Coke is barred from teaching indefinitely, although he can apply for a review in June of what year? What year can he? Well, he was trying to get reinstated. He was let go in 24. February 24.

So when can he be reinstated? No one or three, a five, a seven. I think 2029. I was going to say 29 February 29. You're going to a five year on? Five year. Five year. I'm going to go three year.

Okay. Get your answers in because it's June 30th, 2013 one. Oh, seven years. He's got the seven year age. A seven year sniff. Okay. The old seven year sniff. Our spokesperson for Pool Academy said Barnacoke's conduct fell well below the standards.

We've heard this. We get it. It's below the standard. You guys have very high standards. As soon as the matter came to our attention, we acted promptly and followed the appropriate procedures. Stop saying it's well below the standards. It's like this becomes, this feels performative. No, it also feels like your standards are constantly in question.

You have to constantly be propping up your standards. Yeah. What kind of standards does this school have? Barnaco left the school as a safeguard, a safeguarding hearing that took place and the outcome sent it to the TRA, the welfare and safeguarding of our students. I haven't even met the TRA. I don't like them. I don't like them.

I don't like it. They're not down in the trenches. No. No, they're not. They're both to get through the death. And those who can't teach gym, those who can't teach gym. administrate and that's a real saying that those who can't administrate are on the TRA

fucking A they are. They're up here with the standards. All right. We're going to get out here on this. How old is Rowan J. Barnacoke? Now, do you need this in regular or metric? You don't know. You can do regular years. They go on the 12-month schedule even in England. How old is Barnacow?

A year and a half. Was that his first job? I mean, I'm going to guess he's on the youngest. I'm going to say 25. 25? I mean, I think he's This feels like a guy who's hanging. Oh, interesting. Hanging on.

But also, you've got that idea of like, screw it. I'm clearly not going to, like, advance in this. Yeah. So what do I? So you're going, you're really going like the, the Walter White thing. We got to spice this up. I'm going to split it a bit in honor of my Chicago Bears. I'll go 34.

Walter Payman. All right. Get your answers in. Because I feel like this is his third job and they didn't know why he got fired from the other two. Okay. Because Rowan Barnacoth, the third. Yeah. And when we come back, we're going to find out what Dan is doing.

Yes. 29 years old. Oh! I didn't have to continue you guys. Very nice. Technically closest. I don't know if we do prices. No, we are close.

Close that going over. Two for two. Yeah, you're close for two. You're two for two for two. John Ross Pauly just walking in and owning this place. Like he's rowing J. Barnico. We have one more story. Can you give us a little teaser of what we're going to hear?

I can for sure. A little taste. Just come on. Give us a little bump. A little bump of what we got. What is the name of the next amazing teacher? I. side hustle inappropriate door dash good oh so yeah i'm in john ross bowie stewart

stuart fails to save the universe on hbo max is out now you can watch it and watch this wonderful guy do his thing uh we have more uh dumb people town with one more story right after this stick around make us down hunger down it's don't people town welcome back to this show we were just having a great time in the break with our buddy john ross by we have one more story dan before we get to that i want people to know where they can catch you and see you please do go to Daniel vankirk.com. There you will find my dates. Like on the 29th of October, I'll be, hold on, I can do this correctly.

You got it, damn. On the 29th of October, I will be in Cohasset, Massachusetts at the Red Line. On the very next night, I'll be in Lawrence, Massachusetts. Nice. And then I'm sending my friends and all their friends to that show. I know people in Cohescent. Are you going to spend Halloween in Salem, Massachusetts? I'll be flying back here on Saturday for Halloween.

I know. Come on. I would go. You're a witch. Salem throws down. Although they would say that is like, if you want to do Salem, Halloween time, but really just want to be ensconced completely by other people. That is when you go.

But they're all wearing fishnets, regardless of the weather. That's fine. I like a good spooking. I know, such a Kate DePaul, you're unreal and a genius. December 3rd, I'm at Mike Drop Comedy in Arizona. I'm also the 18th of December. I'm doing a Chinookwin's casino outside of Portland. Everything's at Daniel Vancurgh.com and Flyover Comedy Festival.

I think it's the 11th through the 15th. Yes. I'll be doing a lot of the great shows. might have heard me talk about when I do my annual week of shows in Chicago. Shot for shot, recreating a movie scene, shot for shot, doing a shot every single time we do it. We have to do it seven times. It's really fun. The audience gets involved.

Is it Mallort? Are you going to drink Malort? No, I'll probably do tequila. Okay. And then also doing some other things like dorm room comedy and stuff like we're just all going to be doing comedy and goofing around for a weekend. Hang on. What's dorm room comedy?

Audiences write down things that they would have revealed the first week of college. Like my mom, it could be anything from my grandma fought in World War II. A lot of people don't know that about me too. I'm shit in the fart corner. I shit in the fart corner. And then you're, I take all those things before the show that the audience writes down. And then you wrap up a towel and stuff under the doors. And we try to smoke weed.

And you pray to God your a raise visiting his parents. I put them in the green room and then comics pick the ones that resonate with them. They come out on stage and start their set by reading somebody's dorm room. Nominable. So it shows like that. Other ones as well. It's just going to be days and days of fun. So fun.

It's in our hometown. Okay. Everything's at Danielmanckirk.com. Also listen to the Midnight Air. And check out popcorn pals right here on All Things Comedy. It's me and friends talking about movies. All right. Ready?

Mm-hmm. Let's jump in. Sending by Sean Anderson with an E. S-H-A-W-N-E-E-70. 70. 70 at Sean 70. Naked Door Dash driver caught on camera delivering food to Northeast Houston home. So we're out of the classroom, but we're right back in.

Get to the funny part. What if he had a hairnet just down over his pubs? Because he cares. I'm not disgusting. Guys, I know I'm around food. Yeah, have like a, you're going to do that. You should murking up. The thing is.

Merk it up, which is my favorite guided by voices record. It is great, I know. And I set this in a little late, so I don't know if Aaron has the photo or not. But it doesn't, if you can get an angle. Guys in shape. Is it just a shape? Frozen shape. It doesn't, it is inherently performative, but it doesn't feel performing.

Also, I'm going to say something. I mean, we're all adults here. Do we need that much fuzzed out? Like I can see the guy's navel. What is he fucking Barbara Eden on I Dream of Jeannie? We can see the guy. That's a lot of blur. That's a compliment.

That's a compliment. They're like, you better nipple to knee that blur. I want that blur. I want that blurr. Nip to knee. K to N to K. But I also. Why didn't they blur out his dreads?

That's made those embarrassing glars. All of it at that point. And here's the thing. If he's like blessed, then great. But like, give him that much. credit. Like if it's pointing up, then like, you know, then if he's got Peroni's disease. Yeah. Or and if it's, if he's just, you know, if it's a nice warm night and he's hanging down, then blur that part. But like, like, get, what this makes it seem like. It's weird too because it's just, positioning looks like he's just going about his business. Right.

That's part of it doesn't feel very too performative. Like, if I was naked and drop it up, like I'd be lounging on the thing a little bit more. Like, what's up? It looks like he's walking around the playa. I am team this guy. I got to say, I, because... Do you have a name for him? No. I'm team this guy because for all I know, the ACs busted in his car. Yeah.

We've had an unseasonably... Houston in the summer. When's the last time you drove in your car with your shirt off? Shirt off in the recently. Really good. Yeah. Sometimes you have to. It feels like you're down at the lake.

And you got to do it in your... In the Shavelle. In the lake house. In the Shavelle. I would feel like Matt. Matthew McConaughey accepted to Camry. Fair. Do that.

Do that. You can't? Shirtlet's in a Camry? Come on. Also, this is a lot of people's nightmare. That they were doing their job naked. Right. Like, do you have this anxiety.

Oh, yeah. I look out. He was also late for the SATs. Yes. Yeah, on his way. And going to walk too slow. Yeah. And couldn't punch hard.

Walking through molasses. Yeah. It's being chased by an alligator. Falling down. He could sort of fly. Like, yes. A Northeast, Houston father says he was stunned. After checking.

his ring camera and seeing the door dash driver who had just delivered his food standing outside his home completely naked. This is why you never order from naked lunch. Keante Matlock. William S. Burroughs Great name. Cantey Matlock? Do you want anything on your burger? No. That's his name?

Keontes Matlock. What a great name. That is not his camera. All of these names are AI generated. All of these names. Keontae Matlock? Isn't that a great name? That is a fucking mad live. He's the homeowner. He's the victim. He's not into the That's the homeowner. That's the homeowner. That's not the DoorDash guy.

He's a bottle wine. I say to an Italian wine and a geriatric detective. Who's also a lawyer. Bring it together. How many times has he made a hotel reservation? Like, sir, we just have to use your real name. He's like, motherfucker. Is this George Clooney?

That's what George Clooney, when he goes to Italy, that's his name. Have you met my wife, Savignon Marples? Wow. See, you are going to do. Jesus. My Lord, that was fast. He says the incident. at his home on the northeast side of Houston not far from homestead what does homestead

have to do hey hey I'm I don't live in homestead I'm not far no that's what no wait that's where you ordered from this could be yeah where you're just mentioned that we're not far from homestead buffet is is a thing right isn't homestead buffet no what am I thinking of hometown town or old country old country buffet Guantayette Matt lax I didn't grow up with the separate Jimmy fucking hasty. Kianti Malik says he was inside playing a video game while his daughter was also home when she noticed a notification come through on his phone.

When Matlock checked the notification. This is literally he puts the dong and ding-dong ditch. Here's the thing. She did not see anything other than Uber Eats or whatever notification, DoorDash, notification. This guy Uber Eats. But you know he's playing the video game and she's like, I think our food's here. And he was like, hold on, let me finish. She's like, I think our food's here.

We're right out of the gate. Not a great look for the day. Right. It's his weekend with the dog. daughter. When he checked an notification, he realized. What's she got to see? The DoorDash order had arrived.

He then looked at his ring camera and says that he saw the dasher who had just dropped off his food, was naked. Yeah. Matlock says he was in disbelief after seeing the video. Door Flash. He says he uses DoorDash often, but did not keep the food from the delivery. Matlock says DoorDash later refund him for the order. Also, didn't Matlock take place in Texas?

Yeah. Could have? No, something made me that Carolinas. Anyway, Fox 26 reached out. DoorDash about the incident, a DoorDash spokesperson provided the following statement. Okay. This is going to be so vague. I can't wait for this.

We did, let's see if we can. All right. Okay, yeah, all right. We at DoorDash. Endorse all manner of lifestyles. That's right. However, this, this act was substandard within our values and quality. We have high standards.

What are we like a British school system? The Pool Academy. Here we go. What this consumer experienced was abhorrence. It must be English. And we've reached out directly to offer our support. This man's behavior was vulgar and completely unacceptable. And as soon as we were made aware, our team permanently removed their access to our platform.

We do not tolerate sexual harassment or misconduct of any kind. And we stand ready to assist law enforcement with any investigation. DoorDash also says complaints submitted through its app are reviewed by the company's trust and safety system. Sure. Glad you have that in place. The company said the driver involved in this incident was permanently removed for going against the community. We need to guidelines. In his defense.

In his defense, they did order it with nothing on it. That's right. Fair enough. They did. Fair. Yeah. How do you want those wings? Nala cart.

Naked. Naked. Naked. Naked wings. Naked wings. I just read the order wrong. I'm sorry. I thought that was me.

DoorDash encourages customers who experience concerning or no per behavior to let everybody know through the app. The company also recommends contacting law enforcement. Feel uncomfortable call 911. That's a wild call. They'd be like, when did this happen? I was playing a video game. So like, the food's been sending out there about an hour.

Yeah. Like, yeah, buddy, we're not. We're not, no one's, it's not a bomb. Yeah. Wait, so here's my thing. I was kind of a dick. I think they went in too hard. I'm,

speaking of going in hard. I think they went in too hard. I meant the driver. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You never go in that hard when you're dropping it off naked. But I think they went in too hard on that letter. I think all that they had to say, really, is like, it took too much culpability?

Yeah, I think all the, they just were like, we removed it. All you say is, this driver is facing disciplinary action. We're going to get to the bottom of it. we have a safety's thing and we apologize. This guy is a power bottom. He's a power bottom. He's a power bottom. So people need to know that.

Absolutely. I think there should be a point where they go, look, I think we can all agree that this is hilarious. Hi, Randy and Jason. How are you guys? Dan, Van Kirk, don't make a meal out of this. Dan, take it easy. Big, big fan of the show. It's so great.

Honor to finally be there. Big, that's story number three, my way. Yay. That's a dumb little door dress. That is great. The show is Stuart Fails to Save the Universe. It's on H. Max, please watch our good friend John Ross Bowie on it, as we all will. Go see Dan live where you see

him live. Go see us live. Come here, LA. 27th at the Illusion and Magic Lounge in Santa Monica. 7 p.m. is going to be a really fun taping. We want to see you guys there. And oh snap, we got to get back to work. Bye, y'all.