Dumb People Town - Jonah Ray - Sprinkle Pool

Episode Date: December 17, 2024

Comedian Jonah Ray stops by as Jason describes a man that claims a bag of Fritos made him burglarize cars, Randy explains how a man got severely injured at the Museum of Ice Cream, Daniel announces that the Bend, Oregon Little Caesar's lady is back after open heart surgery, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsors: BetterHelp, Chewy, and Shipskis! Find comfort this December, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/DPT today to get 10% off your first month. Don’t forget gifts for your pet this holiday season! Take advantage of amazing deals and shop my personal favorites at Chewy.com/DPT.  Right now, ShipSkis is offering our listeners 20% off your first shipment when you go to Shipskis.com and use the code: DPT.  

Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware they lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose. We'll make the news breaking down each epic fail. In Florida there's half price bail. I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast jam with co-hosts Arm and Dan. Members don't be a jerk because when the music hits the funny hits and we get the fun.

We're going to make the news. We're going to make the news. We're going to make the news. We're going to make the news. We're going to make the news. We're going to make the news. We're going to make the news. We're going to make the news.

We're going to make the news. We're going to make the news. We're going to make the news. We're going to make the news. We're going to make the news. So listen to our podcast jam with co-host Armand Dan. Members, don't be a jerk, because where the music goes, it's the funny hits, and we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, hunger down East Dump People Town. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. How do you stay cozy during the winter months, Jay? Well, for some, wrapping up in a blanket with a mug of hot chocolate or watching a movie with the family is the best way to spend

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my personal favorites, at Chewy.com slash DPT. That's Chewy.com slash DPT. Chewy.com slash DPT. Hey, Townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population, you. Population, Ray. Jonah, Ray, what's up buddy?

Hey everybody, I'm glad to be back in town, driving through the old Dumbville. Wanted to get my stupid on. Yeah, thank you. With my pouch. You know, our dumb viewers are gonna notice that Jason finally found someone who is willing to look like him.

I finally have a twin in comedy who I respect. Oh, wait a minute. Thanks, Parker. Thanks so much. I appreciate it. Good. There we go. Hey!

Hey! Hey! I loved you guys on supermarket sweep. Took your joke. Took your joke. Dude, it's all about the turkeys and the diapers. Turkeys and diapers. That's right, junk.

Junk. Turkeys and diapers. Turkeys and diapers. Turkeys and diapers. You guys are going to see turkeys in the diapers You guys go to see turkeys and diapers They brought that war for turkeys and diapers I heard the guitarist was canceled You guys work at the same ranch sort of Slickers to Wyoming By doing that we have a place in the desert because we're just in Palm Springs and have a shop We're back to battle of the earth tones. It's also a spa

That's for anybody to watch we mostly sell incense though seafoam versus camel tonight on dumb people down guess what guys the world's still dumb We're sorry sent in by our great fans you sent in We are still taking them on Twix you can do At school I brothers at Danny van Kirk has checked on people town We will find out who was first in the line and we will read I also went over to blue sky You feel free to hit me up there. Okay. I'm giving it a shot. Hey, mr. Blue. Hey before we go Is this our, the first ever live Dumb People Town we did guest?

Oh. Was it at the castle? Yeah. Was that the first one? I think it was our first live Dumb People Town. You only did a handful too, right? It's great to have you. Great to have you.

Always been a part of the city. I got a key to it by the mayor, but it didn't work on anything. Talk about dumb. It was too big for any fucking keyhole. You can't put that in any. So keys to cities like novelty checks, they don't work. Right, you can't go to the bank and cash a giant novelty.

They don't go into a door. You gotta get a sign. You could threaten somebody with a key to let you in anywhere. Yes, so if you're trying to put it in like a giant novelty check, you gotta go.5 if you're taking a picture and putting it in the bank. Okay, here we go.

Story number one, this was sent in by Sam Householder. At Sam Householder. A household name. Here's the headline. Man says bag of Fritos sitting on car seat lured him before stealing vehicle, later burglarizing cars in Ingleside. This is the worst written headline I've ever seen.

Every participle dangles and doesn't. I understand what he did. He walked by, saw a bag of Fritos. A bag of Fritos lured him. They're like, hey buddy, what you doing out there? This guy is really counting on somebody, like a judge being also really into Fritos. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You gotta, you get it. Fritos. So what if he had a Mereda Twisted Fritos? really in yeah you gotta you get it he is like this is him because he definitely represented himself in court okay and he had his back pocket the judge is like you can't just be a bag of Fritos and he turns the jury and says they they were chili cheese. Oh! It's like, all right, let them off. I'm gonna reveal a logic thing about me that I'm gonna apply to this.

Sometimes, many times, almost every time, if I'm watching a movie in the movie theater, I will tell myself, like let's say it's an action movie. I will say, I can't start eating my Reese's Pieces until I see a gun like if it's an action movie That's what you otherwise. I'll just sit there and like eat Oh, no, I'll eat and I like pace myself through the previews So I sort of let the universe as a movie determine when I act start and so I wonder if this guy was like

I'm not gonna rob this car. However, however. Unless I see a bag of Fritos. If I see. If it's open. Like if there's an incentive there, I sort of feel like it's telling me. The bag has like a mouth. Look, you can't spell Fritos without free. Hey. Hey. That shit's free to me.

One version. I'm going in. Let's go in. I once, like when I got a speed ticket when I was like 15 years old in Hawaii. You can drive at three in Hawaii. You can drive very young there. I remember thinking, finally I can drive.

And then I see, if I see someone who's like 18 driving a car these days, I'm just like, get that kid out of here. What is he doing? Underage. Your brain's not even fully formed to understand the mechanics of the car, let alone the spatial recognition of anyone on the road.

15. I am getting into the car with my son as he drives me around. Don't. Don't do it. No, I'm telling him. He wants to. But like, the excuses I heard at court, my dad made me go to court,

and I just heard all these guys like, so why did you steal the truck? He's like, oh, Judge, you gotta understand. It was, I thought it was my friend's truck, and then I was gonna just sleep in the back of the bed, and it got a little cold, so I busted through the window. And I work with a guy that does windows, so it was not a big deal. I knew I was gonna just sleep in the back of the bed and then it got a little cold, so I busted through the window. And I work with a guy that does windows,

so it was not a big deal. I knew I was gonna get it fixed. I was gonna get it fixed. I was just cold. My cousin knows the guy. He's a Raiders fan, bro. All right, here we go. A man told police that he saw a bag of Fritos

sitting on a car seat while on drugs. Yep, okay. Were the Fritos on drugs? What if he's treating this like a dog or a baby? Yeah. And he's like, I look in there. You gotta crack a window, bro. I look in there, I see chips.

You can't leave those in there. You can't cook these chips. By the way, the temperature change is gonna make him stay. I'm gonna say this though, I'm kind of on his side. Who has a bag of, if there's a bag of Fritos, and you don't trash it. I am such a snacker.

You leave it on a seat. When you buy a bag of Fritos, eat it now. As you purchase it, I would probably open it and start eating it before it's paid for. Well you also got detained for eating in a grocery store. So of course you guys did. In Israel. In Israel. In Israel.

In Israel, I was walking through a store and eating bulk food and they're like, and then some guys start walking really close behind me and kicking my heels. I was like, excuse me. And he's like, come to this back room. And I was like, oh, I'm gonna have to leave the country. That's it.

What? Because they can't wait with snacks. They cannot wait. You two are defending this guy. So what kind of security guard, it's like that's their move kicking the back your heels flat tire got you flat and also when they say let's

go to the back room that's something that just happens that like you know sex clubs right that's like yeah my god blow it to the stall the bathroom next to it on that black leather car here let me put you up on this wheel alright Fritos sitting on a car seat while on drugs which lured him to steal the vehicle.

Okay. How did that? Yeah, dude. Just trying to save the Fritos. But then the Fritos were talking to him. Well, the Fritos were like, it's like, hey, you know, it'd be even better. Bean dip.

Yeah. And you know what? I have a friend, I have a cousin. It'd be a lot cooler if you did. And like, wait, you're bean? Fritos are vacuum-economics'd be a lot cooler if you did. And I'm like, wait, you're being a lot cooler? It'd be a lot cooler. It's been a long time since I rock and roll. It's been one week since you've steal a car.

That's great. That's great. We can end the show. It's been. All right, before he burglarized several vehicles in Ingleside, the Lake County Sheriff's Office responded to a theft on January 3rd according to Lake County. A man was at Crosspoint Church in Ingleside

when he returned to his car. So this was a car stolen. From a church. In his car, which, oh no, no, he stole other things from a car. Returned to his car where he could not find his wallet, which had how much cash in it, and credit cards, and other important documents.

How much cash was in this guy's wallet? Well, it's church, so it's tax free. Right. Who leaves their wallet in the car, stupid idea. And who's carrying cash? I'll go $80 cash. $80 cash? I'm gonna go $175.

$560. Get your answers in. This guy had $400 cash. Whoa! Is he in Vegas? What, he just do three stand-up shows? At the store? What do you, who has $400 on them?

In cash. Ever. Ever. Dan. Everybody in Goodfellas. I bet they were like 20s and 10s. Like no 100s, no 50s, just a bunch. Wait, and this is in the wallet.

That's a lot of money. In the wallet. Unless you're doing hundreds. By the way, if you have $400 in your wallet, shame on you for leaving it in your car. How about this? How about he didn't have any of that money in there and he's jacking up the amount of money

he might be doing. Because it's cash, it's cash. How do you trace that? They're unmarked bills. I need $400 back. No one carries $400. I like this plan. The victim was notified by his bank later that day

about suspicious purchases made by one of his credit cards in Foxley. Thies said the purchases were made at, this'll tell you all you need to know about this guy. Close. What'd he say? Dollar Tracy. JCPenney? Family Dollar. There you go you need to know this guy dollars. What do you say dollar Tracy penny? Family dollar there you go family dollar there you go Walgreens

Shell shell he's on one corner McDonald's. Yeah, this is an intersection one Video footage was received and showed Sean M Johnson will guess his age later of Richmond get out of an older model pickup truck and walk to a Motel Johnson was seen again on video a short time later walking to McDonald's at the same time Yeah, the victim's card was used to purchase the food Yes, the pickup first of all the pickup truck involved was stolen out of Beloit, Wisconsin Dan. Where's Beloit? You know, it's just north of Rochelle right over the border Oh, you know where it is Rochelle Rockford below

Johnson was interviewed by members of the sheriff's office after he was taken in custody in Wisconsin He identified himself in the McDonald's surveillance video and admitted to stealing the pickup truck So I bet they were like is that you in that that video. Yeah, I stole the truck. I stole a truck I'm not trying to talk bad about McDonald's, but they put pickles on my burger and said I didn't want it. So why aren't they here? How come we're not trying that? Why did they put the system on trial?

Why do the pickles have ridges? That's what I asked all about. And the pickles have started talking to me too. They don't know they don't fall off there. Oh yeah, that would be a slide. It gives you traction. I'm not trying to say I'm mad, but I'm kind of pissed. All he asked was really breathy. Really breathy. I'm not trying to say I'm mad, but I'm kind of pissed

Were you in McDonald's I went into there and first of all, I'm gonna say it and I you know I know it ain't nice, but I don't like the kiosks Taking away the jobs from the working you guys have a personal a personal interaction like the one you had when you stole the truck. And I don't know why we lost the grilled chicken snack wrap ever since the pandemic. All right, sir. And they never bring it back and they used to have breakfast all day and I'm not saying I'm mad, but I'm kind of-

Sir, was that you in the stolen truck right there? No, that truck drove me. Okay, okay. Well, he said he was- He was technically not wrong. He said he was walking around when he saw a bag of Fritos sitting in front of the truck so he opened the door and saw the keys were inside

which led him to steal the vehicle. If you have a, people are just way too loose with everything. Wallets in cars with 400 bucks in it apparently, allegedly. Fritos just sitting out like you're not gonna eat it. Like that to me is the most egregious thing ever. Keys in a truck that's open, come on.

This guy, I like that he admits that he did everything wrong. He said he was staying at the Fox Lake Motel, sir. You admitted to burglarizing several vehicles at the Crosspoint Church in Ingleside, including stealing the wall belonging to the male victim who made the report with the sheriff's office. Johnson admitted to using the credit card

at several locations, including McDonald's. He drove the stolen pickup truck back to Beloit where he abandoned it. So he didn't want the truck. He wanted the freedom. More about the friends he made along the way. It's a vehicle journey. It's the journey. The nine different places you have to.

It's the journey, it's not the destination. Exactly, that's why I'm so upset about the kiosks. He wanted to meet somebody. Interaction. I like connecting. We don't interact anymore. Johnson claimed he committed the crimes because he was on drugs.

He was charged with possession of a stolen vehicle, burglary, two counts of identity theft, and unlawful possession of identification card. At the time of the incident, Johnson was already on pretrial release in Lake County for two other similar, there you go, which he was released from in jail just one month prior to his latest offenses.

Lake County Judge Ari Fizz. That's correct. That's not a name. The soda king. Yeah, exactly. The soda king of Beloit. Great movie. Granted petitions to revoke Johnson's pre-trial release

and remanded him to the Lake County jail pending trial before we get out of here. How old. This is kind of all over the place. Is Shawn M. Johnson, this is the guy who saw a bag of Fritos. It spoke to him enough to get in the car, oh, keys, let's go on a little. I know, but like family dollar is all over the place.

And he took credit cards, so he definitely bought like a spatula and some like laundry detergent. Yeah. And we're all picturing midday, right? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It's church. They're in church.

So he wants McDonald's for lunch or breakfast. Yeah, sure, sure. He went to Family Dollar, he went to Walgreens. It's Filet-O-Fish. What do you think he gets at McDonald's? Motel. What do you think this clown gets at McDonald's? Double cheeseburger meal, you get the two.

Yeah. Has anyone tried the double chicken Big Mac? I have not, but I've heard a lot of people talk about it. And they're saying it's solid? They're saying it's really good. One time Andrew Youngblood called the chick mac We were on tour and he ordered me check without my knowledge He ordered me an air land and sea for McDonald's and that was not good. No, so that's fish

Chicken and a burger all in one sandwich. Yeah, come on. Why what's the point? What it? Can you really do that? I've never even heard of that before. Yeah, they call it an air land and sea. Wow. And it doesn't really taste like anything. I call that a semi-amphibious assault. Last time I got McDonald's, it was on a road trip and I just wanted just a single cheeseburger.

That's all. When I opened up the wrapper, the cheese was underneath the top bun and on top of the top bun. It was folded over. And it was like late at night. It wasn't like they were in a rush to make this thing. And they messed that up and they threw it away.

I was like, what else did they mess up? Right. Did you hold it like this? In the commercial one? Yeah. The way people eat it. You just hold on the side. I've never seen anyone just hold on the side.

And the only way to eat like a McDonald's burger is to have one hand on it and the other hand on the steering wheel. 100%. Yeah. It doesn't taste good the other way. And you're thinking, how can I throw all this stuff away before I do?

Yeah. All right. The other hand on the bag of Fritos. One hand in your pocket. I've got one hand on my Fritos. There you go. Here we go. How old is Shawn M. Johnson?

I'm just asking a simple question. You're a guest. Would you like to go first? I'm gonna go 47. Okay, I'm gonna go 28. All right, I'll go in the 30s then, and I'm going to say 33. One of you is one year off. Okay, 27.

34. Go up or down? 48. Get your answers in. This is story number one. Jonah Ray is with us. We'll find out what he's doing and how you can support him after this break.

Sean M. Johnson, steeler of Fritos, stealer of trucks, stealer of wallets, This is story number one. Jonah Ray is with us. We'll find out what he's doing and how you can support him after this break. Sean M. Johnson, stealer of Fritos, stealer of trucks, stealer of wallets, Dollar Tree, McDonald's, just wants a connection with people. The Arif is of Beloit, 46 years old. You were so close. You went the other way. You went the other way.

I love it. There you go. Story one down in the books. When we come back, we'll tell you what we're up to. Sorry, we'll get Jonah Ray's info about how you can. Oh yeah, we got a little marathon coming up. We'll talk about all that on the other side of the breaking stone, People Town with Jonah Ray.

Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, stick around, make a sound, there's more to People Town. Hey gang, welcome back to the show. Before we get to Jonah, let's tell people what we have coming on because we've got a lot of stuff a lot of stuff coming up Chances for you to see us live Great show so when this drops if this drops before we do the flyover festival in st. Louis those shows are gonna be fantastic We're doing a tag it on Friday night November 15th, and then on Saturday night. We're doing a headlining set at the Sheldon theater

It's a big theater in St. Louis. Want all of our friends to come out. If you're a Dumb People town person, please, please, please, thank you to all the townies who came out in Vegas to see us. You guys were great. It was so good to see everybody there at Wise Guys. And then we are doing our two-man show,

The Bourne Identity, and hopefully you'll come to that. That's in December at the Lyric Hyperion. Can't make it December's real time. Oh really, there's three possible days. We haven't even told you the dates. Yeah, no, I just. It's just a tough one. That's a rough night.

You didn't say the dates? No, nobody said anything. They're the sworns. What dates are they? 9th, 12th, and 16th. No! Those are bad dates for you. Turns out those are,

those are my birthdays. There you go, wait, that's the only one. And then in January It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday.

It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday.

It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday.

It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. first and then all sorts of stuff as we sort of lead into the spring the spring which includes Detroit again in Minneapolis and Denver just good stuff So super scholars comm and then we'll tell you all other good stuff that's coming out when it comes out Jonah Mst. Marathon. Oh, yeah, we're doing a turkey day marathon or the annual tradition in the Mst. World But yeah, so we're gonna be streaming on the Shout TV channels and the MST channels on Pluto and all that stuff. How many do you do in a marathon?

This one's gonna, I think we do like eight episodes or something like that, so it runs all day. Not knowing, but maybe it'll help people who also don't know. It's movies you guys haven't done? No, no, it's like old episodes. They just kind of do a marathon. The interstitial stuff is you guys. Is it all three? No, no, so it's like, I am introducing

celebrity fans of the show. And so it's like, Mark Hamill, like you just said, his favorite episode. David Doss Malchin, a bunch of great people, Mike Flanagan. So yeah, it's a nice, comforting thing to have on the background. Oh my god, it's the great.

During Thanksgiving. I'm gonna put that on. It is the greatest thing in the background. Oh my god, it's the great Thanksgiving. I'm gonna put that on. It is the greatest thing in the world. So I'm gonna watch three things on Thanksgiving. I'm gonna watch the Macy's Day Parade, I'm gonna watch the Kennel Club dog show. The Westminster Kennel Club dog show. No, and then I'm gonna watch the...

I'm gonna watch some Bear's Lions, but I'm definitely gonna watch some of those. That's in the morning at least. Fine, I'm gonna watch some of those. Cry Wilderness? Cry Wilderness, I don't know. I don't know their picture yet. You don't know? Yeah, so we'll see. Cry Wilderness I will actually I don't think we can't show any of the Netflix

The hardest I've ever laughed at any incarnation of them It is the funniest That it bang bang is like it's like it's like and then like and no one does it better than Hampton It's wild like that one was like that was one where I was like I was like This was kind of sloppy. It's I'm not sure I'm a good episode and then like it's like we're all like youngery That's like an old classic Korean monster movie. That'll be the big hit and then it was like cry well I was crying I will then I will turn it by myself in my apartment. Yeah as I do often just right Just crying yeah Well, yeah, no, that's a fun. You were crying wilderness As I do often. Just crying. Just crying. Yeah. Crying wilderness.

No, that's a fun, that's a real fun. You were crying wilderness, literally. It's just great when you have someone you consider a friend that you're such a huge fan of too. Who are you talking about? Squatters. Don't you worry about it. Can't.

Baron. Baron ball, Baron ball. You guys look back at me, I'm holding up a mirror, looking at myself. Yeah, yeah. I just, I love it. I see you love it. I love me.

We do have friends that would actually do that though. Also people can follow you on socials. Yeah, I'm on at Jonah Ray on Instagram. I also like, I directed a bunch of comic specials for Dropout TV. So I did like a Courtney Perusso's Vanessa 5000 show. I did some improv specials, one from Hank Green, Adam Conover. Great.

Yeah, much of those on Dropout. Oh my God, phenomenal. That's blown up on TikTok. The Adam Conover one? No, the Vanessa 5000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's an incredible show. God, phenomenal. That's blown up on TikTok. The Adam Conover one? No, the Vanessa. The Vanessa one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's an incredible show. And like, it's like, you know, I got to direct the, like the, you know, the taping of it and like, and kind of produce it. How was that experience for you? I know, cause I know you've directed films and stuff. Yeah, I mean, I've directed, like,

I directed a special for Kurt Braun or Kyle Kanane. Yes. And like, it's like a handful. The Kanane one, unbelievable. It's a, I really. I really love doing them. It's neat because every, it's like depending on the comic or the performer, it's like you're just kind of trying to facilitate

whatever their vision is. How can I accentuate what they're doing? I want to ask you a little inside baseball comedy question. Oh please, yeah. I was just having this conversation last night with Irene Tu at the Comedy Store. Where do you think we are in comedy specials in terms of opening sketch

and audience reaction shots? So when Kurt and I were, like the first, like, you know, like, comedy special director was Kurt Braun or was a perfectly stupid and we were both like in that mindset. Like, like anyone is when they're coming in to realize like, we don't want any of these audience shots. That's just so old school. Who needs it? Why would you want to do that?

And then you go, oh, you need these. You need a cover. We need an edit cover. You need cover because you're gonna cut out some time. You're gonna cut between two shows. Yeah. It's like you need those shots. And going to a wide open time.

They've gone away way more than they used to be. So sometimes they replace with the shot from behind. Dude, there's a shot from behind, which is great, but that's also to me kind of a waste of a camera, because that's like one camera that you will only have that one shot where it's kind of a bummer. But yeah, again, it's like super fun to watch a person set and then kind of like with like Cananes,

he did a lot of stuff where he was facing the back, and so was that Wise Guys in Salt Lake City. So on each show, I would have a roaming camera guy go to the back corner of the stage, so we can cut between these two angles, if it's between two different shows, to make us, so you still see his face in, because he does such good face.

Oh yeah, and amazing. And so it's like watching someone's, like Adam Conover does a lot of stuff where he points down front and center. So you want him pointing right to the camera. Yeah, so I want the camera right there, and that's the kind of fun stuff I like, watching someone's, like Adam Conover does a lot of stuff where he points down front and center. And I was like. So you want him pointing right to the camera. Yeah, so I want the camera right there. And that's the kind of fun stuff I like.

It's like having been a part of comedy so long, it's like you know what your friends are, know how you would want to see it and what makes it punchier or more visually stimulating than just having someone on stage with a mic. And it's a weird spot to be in because you don't want the direction to take you out of what's going on,

but you just want it to enhance it so much more that you're like, god damn, that was cool. That was cool. Yeah, and I think having a random, I always have a roaming camera just getting kinda artsy, weird shots, because every once in a while, you want a new thing to pop up visually. And that's when I would make music videos,

it's the same thing, where it's like, you want something to reengage the person's prefrontal cortex, because they're gonna just start seeing the same stuff over and over, and then all of a sudden there's like a kind of a side angle or a weird angle or an obtuse kind of thing. And then they like, they'll subconsciously I think re-engage into what they're watching. So there were a number of these music like concerts

that the BBC did in like 1971 and it was Elton John. James Taylor. James Taylor and Neil Young. They're incredible in a studio, and crowd in the round kind of, and Cat Stevens. And some of the shots they did were exactly what you're talking about. Like, oh my God, this is like a revolutionary shot for the, I don't think people saw it at that time.

And it was just so cool. So it did that exact. And it wasn't all the time, it was just every once in a while. Because it moved all the time, then it just becomes once in a while. Every once in a while. Because if it was all the time, then it just becomes rote. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Amazing. All right.

So yeah, I've been having a good time doing those. So follow you on social media because I'm sure you'll let people know when those things are dropping. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Okay, there you go. All right, I'm gonna jump into the story right here. Sent by Sean Anderson at Sean, S-H-A-W-N-E 70.

Thank you, here we go, ready? Lawsuit says man broke his ankle jumping into Museum of Ice Cream cream sprinkle pool in SoHo. Oh, I've been to the museum of ice cream in San Francisco and I did jump into the sprinkle. Why? You're not allowed to? I think you're allowed to, I did.

But it's not gonna be as deep as you think it's gonna be? Dummy, you don't jump with your feet first, you jump and roll on your back. Head first. This is the Scrooge McDuck effect. People see something in any sort of pool form and they're like, oh, I can swim in this. I'm surprised you didn't dive in, maybe he said.

So wait, but I don't understand, and I have a picture of my kid buried in the sprinkles just to the face, it was fun. So a lawsuit filed this week alleges that a man was severely injured at the Museum of Ice Cream and Sprinkle Pool. If you're sending a lawsuit against the Museum of Ice Cream, how much of a downer are you?

What's going on? Well, I'm suing. With who? The Museum of Ice Cream. I'm suing fun. I'm suing happiness. I know, but look. And don't be on the side of this guy

there's an adult film star named Adriana Chechik who was at like a Convention sort of deal and they had something that looked like a big tub of like balls and stuff that you could jump into It was extremely shallow big tub of balls Jumped it. She broke her back Yes, and they so I haven't seen most of her work is done on her back. So! Yes, and they, so I haven't seen this. And most of her work is done on her back. So, so there it is. I know another situation where she broke her back. But it might look super like jump in-able,

cause there are various museums, like the one, is it the same one? If you don't know what it is, if you can't see into it, don't jump in. I've talked about this, this is the Ozarks, this is my number one of my big fears. How about like the guy, there's videos and tic-tacs of like Russian guys in their underwear like jumping out into like icy things and they think they're gonna go through

Oh, it just hits How about the woman who tried to jump off the roof under trampoline into an above-ground pool? She just hits the trampoline goes straight Yeah, go straight into this like at the Ozarks a lot of people like to jump off bridges in the Lake of the Ozarks, and most of those bridges have rebar under them. And people, this happens every year. So I am very pro, I'm not just gonna jump into that. But what if it's like a Frito bag and it's just Asuka?

I mean, come on. Come on, buddy, jump into the lake. Why don't you jump into the lake, buddy? I would jump into a whole thing of Fritos and eat my way out. The state suit claims that the Soho venue created quote reasonable but false expectation that jumping the pool is safe through its marketing,

through its social media posts, asking people if they're ready to quote jump in. All right, do we have a case? So I'm saying, how inviting was this? But what if jump in was in quotes? Oh. Do you know what I'm saying, if you're ready to jump in, maybe take part in.

Yeah. According to the lawsuit, a plaintiff, Jeremy Shor, S-H-O-R-R. Polly's brother. Did just that at a March visit with his daughters. Don't do that, like what are you teaching your kids? Yeah, it's like he's struggling, he wants to look so cool in front of his daughters.

You're not cool Jeremy. And he's like, you know what, I'm gonna take him to that ice cream thing, they're not having a good time because who cares about this place. I'm gonna jump in, I'll jump start the fun. And they're all gonna be like, dad's so fun. Dad's so fun, he jumped into the place where he wasn't supposed to be. Mom's wrong, dad is fun.

Randy, was it you eight, nine years ago, did you sprain your ankle playing tennis? Yeah, oh, broke my foot. That's what it was. Broke my foot playing tennis. This is one of those things too, like the instant. You know. You know.

And so this guy, most of them like, cause he's there with his daughters, he's probably wanting to be fun dad. That's what he said. Yeah, sorry, jumps in. It's his weekend. No one's listening to you, Jon. Instantly like pops, and he's like.

That's it. Oh and by the way, when you hurt yourself as a parent with little kids, because I'm guaranteed they're little kids. The story of the dunking thing, when you dunked on an eight foot hoop. Oh, so my daughter, I blame her, essentially challenged me. It's like you can't.

But this guy's crazy for suing ice cream. Yeah. Over here blaming the daughter. No, to dunk on an eight foot basketball hoop while she had a game, a practice going on. And you had never heard of the Tom Segura story? Oh, I had heard of it. So I dunk, grab on the rim.

Grab on the rim, to like rim shake. I swing my legs up, but what I don't realize is that my fingers are going to at some point let go. And then I fall directly down onto my back, like eight feet, or seven and a half feet, whatever it was, I fell straight down onto my back. It made the loudest noise, everyone in the gym looked over me, and then I had to get up

and pretend I was okay. When I was horrible. So how much money did you make when you sued the basketball? I sued the Museum of Ice Cream. I basketball? I sued the Museum of Ice Cream. I sued my daughter and the Museum of Ice Cream. No, but no, it was one of those things where when you get hurt and it's your fault, like everyone was mad at me.

Like you get no, like no one's caring for you in your house when you have responsibilities for your kids and you're hurt. So you're gonna jump in and do this? So with his daughter to the self-described Experium, which features a series of interactive rooms celebrating ice cream, I'd go to that. It's great.

It alleges the venue failed to make the pool deep enough and calculate the proper amount and dimensions of the faux sprinkles, so the plunge left him with severe and permanent injuries to his right leg, ankle, and other body parts. That's lawsuit talk. What other body parts? Pull the ligament.

Yeah, yeah. You're nuts. Diggin' bones. Because he was jumping in with a massive erection. Yeah, you can't stop popping all those sprinkles. That's how he wanted to hide it. I gotta get out of here. Adriano Chechnik or whatever story,

he was just thinking about a lot of stuff. I'm not hard anymore! Don't jump into him. You won't be damaged. Anytime he walks into the Museum of's screaming, he is rock hard. He's just like, I'm so happy to be here. Guess who's excited, let me jump on them sprinkles. All right, the lawsuit doesn't specify the pool's depth,

but pictures on the museum's website and social media from its various locations, including Singapore, show adults and children standing with sprinkles reaching their ankles and lower legs. Look at the pictures from Singapore. Before you dive into any pool, check the Singapore report. The Singapore report. The Singapore report.

Doesn't the Singapore report sound like a failed Tom Cruise movie? It was the sequel to the Pelican Free. Which was the prequel to the Minority. One post. We are twinning. On the museum's Instagram page, included a voiceover that said, "'This went a lot better in my head,'

"'where a person jumps off a diving board "'alongside the sprinkle pool, "'bounces as she hits the sprinkles, "'and then faceplants into them. The museum's marketing materials show adults and children alike using the pools. Supposing for the university to decline the comment, the lawsuit claims the museum is aware of the alleged danger, citing a Daily Mail article from 2021 with the headline, Well That Bombed, Woman Falls Flat on Her Face When She Cannonballs in the Pool of giant sprinkles.

It also references a video posted on TikTok of August 12th, last year documenting a leg injury sustained by a visitor who jumped in the pool. If you're gonna have a pool of sprinkles that's only 12 to 18 inches off, you should have a lifeguard on board being like, hey, no jumping. Or a scientist says no jumping.

It's gotta be something fun, like a clown or someone dressed in a sugar cone. Or just two scoops of mint chocolate chip. The misguided confidence of like I can jump it. To cannonball into a sprinkle tub. You're breaking your pelvis, like that's it. The concoctsics is done. That's a woman who does not wanna bear children.

Other materials on the museum site. What the fuck was that? Wow, weird. Real huge judgment there. I'm just trying to give options for abortion in states that you've got to, all right. Other materials on the museum's site don't appear to address the depth of the pool

or whether they're appropriate for all visitors. An FAQ stresses that regularly, it's regularly cleaned, ensuring fresh and clean experience with every jump. How would you even do that? And the site's health and safety page says the only, that guests are free to swim in the sprinkle pool at their leisure. When Gothamists searched the sprinkle pool on TikTok,

they found and solved six cold case. No. No. The sprinkle pool fails, was one of the top recommended searches. The result shows several videos showing people jumping in the pool and landing flatly on the sprinkles, including one posted by ESPN with the caption,

that didn't go as planned. No, it's dense. According to Suits, Short has been unable to engage in the same daily activity since his injury and anticipates needed surgery, plus he broke his penis. It's not the first time the sprinkle pools have upset people. same daily activity since his injury and anticipates needed surgery, plus he broke his penis. It's not the first time the sprinkle pools have upset people.

In 2018, they made headlines when officials in Miami and San Francisco complained that plastics from the venue were littering their cities. Oh, I'm sure it's stuck to people's bodies. Yes, yeah, they didn't walk around. Yeah, and this guy now can never drive by a colt zone without breaking into the front of the church. Exactly, without feeling it.

It's like SD. You know how like when you hurt your leg and then you can tell when it's gonna rain? Yeah, yeah. Can never drive by a colt zone without breaking the fucking exactly without feeling it in a play SD You know like when you hurt your leg, and then you can tell when it's gonna rain Yeah, you can hurt his leg and tell when someone's getting some mix ins Does the like risk reward of these sprinkle pools go away like all you you just listed like nine times Where these went wrong? I know they're like littering cities people What are we gonna do, get rid of them? People love this. Dan, this is, I used to do a bit

or I used to talk about how when I knew that I became a responsible adult is when I was driving down the street in my neighborhood, I saw an overturned box. And you avoided it. And I went around it. Now younger you would've been like, I'd be able to brush it. I'd be like, that would be cool to crush it. You younger you would have been like, brush it, brush it.

That would be cool to crush it. I don't know what's in there. That's true, that's a good point. And then I drove around, because I'm like, I don't know what's underneath it. What if there's like a car motor? I don't know how deep that sprinkle pool is. I'm not gonna cannonball.

I'm not gonna even a can opener. Or I will climb into it first, feel how deep it is, and then I'll decide. I can't. Yeah, I'm gonna weigh it into any situation. Is it a fathom deep? I don't know. How many leagues?

Leagues of sprinkles. 20 leagues under the sprinkles? 20 leagues under the icing. All right, there you go. There it is, there it is. If you can't see the bottom, you don't know there ain't sharks in there. That's right, true.

Sprinkle NATO. All right, there you go. That is story number two. Daniel, give us a little taste of what we got from story number two. Oh, the little Caesar's lady's true. Sprinkle NATO. All right. There you go. That is story number two. Daniel, give us a little taste of what we got from story number two. Oh, the little Caesar's lady's back. Oh, I love it. We didn't know we lost her, but she's back. She's back.

And Daniel's going to tell you what he's got going on. It's all coming up with Jodere. Oh, Dumb People Town. We'll be right back. Stick around, make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. All right, guys. I want to just talk about the December months.

The weather's getting a little bit cooler. Even in Los Angeles, we hit some 40s out there. How do you stay warm and cozy in the winter months? I light a fire. I watch as many Hallmark movies as I can. You don't even have a fireplace. You just roll around and grab a pan. Oh, I light a fire.

I have a pan in the living room. Right, but I mean, you try and stay cozy physically. And then you have to warm your insides. How do we warm our insides? How do we do that? You do it through therapy. Therapy. Thank God we have the Better Help people on this podcast.

If therapy, we say you should give Better Help a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, suited to your schedule. You just fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist anytime for no additional charge. They're really trying to make this easy for you to step in.

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to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash D-P-T. Townies, friends, lovers, the holiday homestretch is here. And when you're crossing names off your holiday list, you can't forget about your pet or your friend's pet. A little bit of something for Ponyo under the tree when you go to hang out at Randy's house. Ziggie gets a little something something.

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Take advantage of amazing deals and shop our personal favorites at chewy.com slash dT. That's Chewy.com slash DPT one more time. Chewy.com slash DPT. Okay, guys, it's ski season. It is and snowboard season and heavy travel season. So if you're traveling, if you if you live in a town that it doesn't have, you're not driving to your ski location. So you're going to Park City, you don't live there. The biggest pain, and this is such a pain,

Jay, you have a snowboard. I have a snowboard, I brought it with me. A lot of my, on a trip to Park City, all my luggage showed up, my snowboard didn't show up. So you're like, so now what am I gonna do? You wasted a day. I have to communicate, I have to communicate with the airport, wasted a day, deal with this whole thing.

And you really wanna trust this? I can't ski for a day. To the hands of some person who's like very mad at their husband or wife or boyfriend or father. Or angry that they're working during the holidays. They're angry and they're not getting paid enough for what they do anyway. Thank God for ship skis. Ship skis is the best idea ever.

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Hey, gang, welcome back to the show before we jump into story number three. Daniel, tell people where they can see you, how they can check your movie out. You can listen to me every single week, whether it's on this show or Pen Pals or my new show, The Midnight Air. It's a good show, guys. It's, or my new show, The Midnight Air.

It's a good show, guys. It's a good show, it's a good hang. It's fun. It drops on Mondays right here on all things comedy. And I love it, I love doing it. It's like a little overnight radio show podcast. It's exactly what it feels like, and put it on as you're kind of falling,

drifting off to sleep. Or you're on a long drive, you're trying to stay awake. I listen to it as I'm drifting off to sleep. These are conflicting thoughts, I feel. I just like those overnight radio shows where they Random lists like we're counting down the list of SNL cast members with the longest hair. Okay Wait Dan, you should have people like submitting like I got a Don it Oh that so there we used to do a series there's a show It was one of my favorite shows and trading station ours was called the trading post change

I'm from 12 to 1230 right in Roche, Illinois Mike Green hosted To be like a dating show so Randy and I wanted to combine them into the same thing. Like, I got a dinette set, and I'm looking for a nice man. And then if some guy's like, I don't need a dinette set, but I'll take you out to dinner. And then like, we'd be just like meetups, meet cutes, and selling their stuff. It's called Furniture Connection. People are more, hey, the midnight mailbag at g1.com,

if you got something to buy, sell it. Right, I want people to be trading stuff on your thing. That would be hilarious. I'd gladly read that. Oh my god, Dan. I want you to read all the things. Midnight Mailbag at gmail.com. Midnight Mailbag.

And then I will also be at the Flyover Comedy Festival. I'm headlining on the 14th. That show's at 10 o'clock at night, so let's go hang. Fill it up. Yeah, it'll be a lot of fun. And then the next night, I think I'm doing tag it with you guys on the sir are other than that I'm sure I'm forgetting stuff go to Daniel van Kirk we'll sign by your show on that Thursday night well thanks brother yeah we're coming we'll be in

town that's awesome alright did it okay let's jump in Ben's that's bend organ okay and now I want to go back there and do stand up. I love love there Ben's beloved Little Caesars Lady is back is back dancing after heart surgery So Ben Dorgan has their own Little Caesars Lady If you've driven past the corner of Southeast 3rd Street and Reed Market Road lately, then you might have noticed that Mary Barachman Barachman Barachman, Barachman, Barachman? Mary, Mary Hussein Barachman. There you go. Thanks, Barachman.

That's right. Ben's dancing pizza promoter is back in action. Hey! Is it wrong that I think that the song that's playing either in my head when I watch this or in her head is the old. Now I'm blue? Yeah.

Okay. The old guy from Six Flags. Oh, ba-da-ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- and then had like a cassette recorder to play that song it also wasn't worth it. It worked. It worked. I can't stop it. It was a long way to go, but it also wasn't worth it. Did you say aorta aorta? But she certainly isn't done dancing on her corner, which has made her a bend celebrity. Yep.

A year has passed since Barackman had surgery to replace a faulty heart valve a procedure that like Life it's a tremendous lifesaver while she is recovering She periodically gets back outside bringing smiles to people as they drive by thank God. So obviously I love the story Nobody did anything wrong. It's just of course in dumb people town There's a woman who used to work for Little Caesars and is now just out there for the love of the game Oh, she no longer works for Little Caesars? Oh, I miss the people too much, she said. I love everybody, it's my happy place.

She took the part-time job in 2010, along with a second part-time job as a cashier at the Dollar Tree, which she later quit. And that might be my favorite part of the story. She was like, Little Caesars, fine. Dollar Tree, I. I draw the line. I mean, the thing is though,

like what she's doing with Little Caesars, like she's I draw the line. I mean, the thing is though, like what she's doing with Little Caesar is like she's getting activities. Exercise. Which of course is being snuffed out by the amount of free pizza and breadsticks she's probably getting on top of that. But if you're working at Little Caesar's and Dollar Tree, you are seeing the same 17 people.

Yes. Every day. What's up Dave? Both jobs. Hey Dave. I'm one of them. And they're big. And they're big. In both jobs, someone, at least two people every day,

is like, can you watch my kids for 20 minutes? Yeah. And she's like, I gotta go do this thing. Yeah. And at both jobs, people are trying to return half eaten food at both jobs. Hey, Dan, do you think she was the original sign flipper? Like she kind of?

Flip the thing yes or no, there's a real like national competition for sign flippers. Yeah Don't know there's a game. Yeah, there's a games there. I'm flipping games on the sign flipping games. No, yes It's a sports comp. Have you guys done like no? We have to bring up that question not knowing that they would know about of course The problem is nobody knows where it is. Yeah. That's so funny. They need someone outside to show them. The valet, the valet.

I thought either A, they would definitely know, or B. Cool, valet, the valet. B, they would tell me the guy in the 80s who got second place that they happen to know the name. I forgot to tell you guys. You mean Mike Grubb? Sure. Dan, the 2020 World Sign Spinning Championships.

Yeah, that Biden ruined. This is the music? My name is Justin Brown, I'm the director of training for the Aero Sign Spinners. I'm also the head judge of the World Sign Spinning Championships. Oh my God, dude. So many people there.

What's going on this year is amazing. We judge on three different categories, which is style, theoretical, villain, execution. Oh my god, dude so many people there Why isn't this me like I was gonna say this has to be an NBA halftime show an execution they execute each one of these No style they chop someone's head off with a sign Her shifts at Little Caesars lasted about five or six hours and her enthusiasm on the corner started to get noticed. So she'd be out there five or six hours dancing. How old is she? How does she have any heart problems? This is like a lot of movement. I'm gonna read a name based on name alone. We would never follow it with General Manager at Little Caesar's. Madison Durand, General Manager at Little Caesar's. Madison Duran, General Manager at Little Caesar's. Not your host at the casino.

I thought Madison Duran was that website where you want to cheat on your wife. No, that's where you cheat on your pet. You walk another dog that you like more. I logged on to Madison Duran. And now I'm walking a Pekingese. Without their own knowing. The General Manager at Little Caesar's said when she first met Barackman she was a little

kid. I don't know which one was the little kid, Madison or Sharon. If Barackman was a little kid and she's been doing this this long. Mary, Mary Brackman. Mary Brackman won it all. Mary Mary why you Brackman. She was instantly tuned in to Brackman's radiating positivity. She lives to be on that corner. This is the wire. On it.

So it's waving to anybody and seeing them smile. And it's one of the main things she cares about. Mary said she will continue dancing on her corner because it gives her strength and she missed it dearly. Now instead of Little Caesar's guitar, that's awesome, people might remember her for having before, She will continue dancing on her corner because it gives her strength and she missed it dearly now instead a little Caesars guitar That's awesome people might remember her from having before she now dances with a pink guitar instead That's right. If I didn't have the corner, I think I'd be depressed. This is the wire. That's it. Totally Said Tavon get up on them quarters get her up in the tower. She said prior to her surgery

She could be out there dancing for hours But now she only goes out when she's filling up to it Wait, the surgery is supposed to help you dance more. Well, she's got to recover from it. She's got to recover. Fine. She said she's building up her endurance. She plans to keep dancing for as long as she can. Great. Someone might need a wave or a hug a smile making people smile is the only part of what motivates Mary. She also explained that listening to music and playing her guitar allows her to really get into the dancing The fact that people are driving by not just staring her is staring her they have to move on it Kept keeps her from being so a second listening to the music really helps her get into the dancing. I don't see the core I'm not seeing the connection. We all know dancing existed before How in the world you guys always do a music show every year. Right. With Jonah. Well, some

of her favorite pieces to listen to on the corner. I can't wait to hear includes. Oh my God. Tub thumping. Carrie Underwood. Okay. Ray Charles. I took my key into the side of Ray Charles's car. And he couldn't say it. Creedence Clearwater Revival. Down on the corner. Yeah, perfect. Down in the street. Luke Bryan. Okay. And occasionally some Led Zeppelin.

Oh! Every once in a while. Do do do do do do. She has all kinds of music from multiple eras loaded onto her MP3 player. Hey! Get that zoom! Fool in the rain.

Zoom. Boom, boom, boom, boom. If it wasn't for the community, I wouldn't have made it through all my tough times. That's who's in the rain I wouldn't have made it through all my tough times she also wanted to said the gratitude to her doctors I wanted to thank them for all they've done for me and what they still do for me and for giving such a great Opportunity to go out and be crazy Shout out to my dire maker Okay, we'll get out of here on this just for fun. How old is Mary shit Bherkman? What do you think Jonah gonna go 53? Okay?

Our age anyway 74. I think she is 67 okay one of you is one year off or down a year 73 68 52 okay, Mary is Jonah. Thanks for being here to tell everybody worth father you Father you worship the father. Oh for being here. Tell everybody where the father you Are you worshiply father? Please anywhere? I need it if you know most of my close comedy friends are like older father figure TV appearance hey now his next TV appearance watch him on Thanksgiving Thanksgiving the MST 3k marathon You can watch on Pluto or any of the channels. Yeah, all the kind of streaming things.

Okay, that's awesome. I love it. So, this woman is? Is 66 years old. Oh! Oh, so I went the wrong way. All right, guys, we love you. Thanks for watching.

Thanks for, join our Patreon. It's so much fun for that, too. It is a great time. If you haven't, if you've been away, come back. It's got such great stuff, little stories for us. And we'll snap together getting you back to it. Stick around, make a sound. There's more to people's town.