Dumb People Town - Justin Hires - Top Shelf Local

Episode Date: April 14, 2026

Comedian, actor, and podcaster Justin Hires (Killin It podcast audio Video) stops by as Jason describes a police chase involving a naked man accused of hit and run, Randy explains how a man stole an ambulance with a patient in the back, and Daniel warns against hitting police with a bible before pooping yourself, and so much more!Thanks to our sponsors: Monarch and Hims!Use code DPT at Monarch.com to get your first year half off at just $50.To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit Hims.com/DPT.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Townies, it is a banger episode of Dump People Town. We have the wonderful Justin Hires with us. Yes. And man, we got so many chases, so much nudity. It's all here. We got a guy in a truck without clothes. The cops are mad and he's waving goodbye. Then we kick things at the very end to me because I have, what would we call this?

A mad Christian, but... With a name that doesn't match the face or the body. That doesn't match. And we thank things over to Wisconsin, which I normally love, but it gets bad when somebody steals an ambulance with someone. inside of the ambulance. Everything is on this episode of Dumb People Town. Round, make a sound, come you're down.

It's Dumb People Town. Hey, Tannies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population, You. Population Hires. Justin Hires, welcome to the show, dude. Welcome to Tom. Thanks for having me. I'm so glad to have you.

We are here. We have you as a fan of yours, as a fan of your work. We are here. We get to play and we get to talk about dumb people doing dumb things. Hey, man, look at it. Let's go. Amazingly, the world's getting dumber. And our dumb, our smart fans, dumb boots on the ground, send us stories.

And we get to break them down with you. First one was sent it by Dane Couch at Dane Couch. Amazing. Not Cook. No, not Dane Couch. That's a dumb name already. Dane Couch. But he's our guy who sent it into us.

I love you. I love you. Joddard of the day we love you. Dumb name. Dane Couch sounds like he was in a low-ranked at FBS school. Right. Deng, he was a quarterback. Of course quarterback.

Dane Couch is like, I'll never go near J.D. Vance. Yeah, yeah. He's a practice squad guy. Good, good heart. Okay, good heart. A lot of guy. Glue guy. All right, here we go.

I just imagine Dan Couch just walks around with a lot of loose change. Yeah. Dane, you're clanking, you're clanking, man. All right, I'm sorry. We heard you coming, Dave. We heard you coming, that works. Again, there's a far reach for a joke, but I went. No, I like to.

You got random remotes. Yeah, for random remotes. You got it, you know. Paper clips. Right. Why can Dane open my garage door with his watch? Here we go. V-N-V-I-N officer leads pursuit of naked hit-and-run suspect

on I-40. Leads pursuit of naked, hit, and run. So if someone's driving the car naked, or they have hit someone and they're literally running naked. Let's find out. A multi-agency pursuit, multi-agency. They got everyone in the county. They're crossing in college.

This is like a smoky and the bandit thing, right? The Bureau of Tobacco and Firearms is now in a park. Or you've said this before, man. It's just a lot of cops going, you got to see this. You got to see. We don't really. We're like a task force. Get down here.

What county is it? This is in Vion County, Oklahoma. There's nothing else going on. Thank you. No. Yeah, yeah. This is our entertainment for the night. Do you want to watch wind blow across some crops or you want to see this,

naked asshole? Naked asshole. Naked asshole. Yeah, because if you're in my hometown, my hometown is Rochelle, Illinois, a little farm town. And if there's four cop cars at a, like somebody being stopped, you would go, what are they doing? I wonder what they did. Probably nothing.

Right. But if you're in Chicago, an hour and a half away, and there's four cop cars that it's What did they do? Definitely something. Someone got shot. But what you're saying, the small town, they're like, just get everybody over here. We got nothing else to do. What are we doing today?

What do we do today? Okay, so a multi-agency pursuit in Oklahoma ended Sunday, February 22nd after a Muskegee County hit-and-run suspect led officers through Vian and on to eastbound I-40. The Vion Police Department, the V-PD, said the suspect, and this is one of the great names. We get some great names coming through Dunn People Town. This is the naked hit and run suspect. Yes. One of the greatest names ever to come through Dun People Town. Oh, wow. That's saying a lot. We had Officer Bone Break. Yeah. We had a cop whose name whose name was Officer Bone Break. I'm like, dude's name. I'm like, Officer Bone Break. I'm like, dude. I'm like, legal name. You're going to get sued on name alone. Right. Wasn't that Sean Penn's character in one battle after another? Officer Bone Break? Close. All right. This and this is good's name. Yeah. His is like a lockjaw. Yeah. Griffin Hink. Griffin Hink. So it starts out with a lot of flourish.

Yeah, and then it just really Hink. Then it just thawls off. Then it dove down. Griffin Hink of Edmund, Oklahoma. He's got to go middle name. That would help him. Griffin, David Hink? Yeah, Griffin, Robert Hink. That would help a lot.

He arrived in Vion, naked, driving a black pickup truck. Why is it got to be a black pickup truck? That's right. You know. Every time. Every time. It makes sense why it was so many cop cars. Right.

So in Oklahoma, they said, hey, there's a black. All they said was, there's a black. It's like all time. I was going to say pickup truck, but then all of a sudden, cops showed up. One of the all-time greatest lines from Arrested Development,

Patrice O'Neill, when they're setting fire to the banana stand. And he's in the banana stand. He goes, I'm going to get blamed for this. I bet you improvised that. Oh, shit. That's so funny. All right. Officer Cassandra Perciful.

That can't be her name. Perciful. Every name you said from the town to the people. To James Houch. Sounds like an improv team creating scenes. Hi, what's your name? Griffin Hink. But I want to follow the story. So the dude he was driving naked in a black pickup truck. And he hit somebody and then drove off. He hit somebody drove off, but we don't know his race

technically. Right. But we're assuming from the county. White dude. White dude. Okay. Yeah. And Griffin Hink. I don't know a lot of brothers named Griffin. Not me either. Now if you give me a black dude, Griffin Hink, I see a totally different person. Like I'm seeing like D1 basketball player like cool as hell dude. Oh my God. Hink, Hink from the corner. Or guy who organizes like the finance club at the University of Oklahoma. Like, he's like a rising star. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Officer Cassandra Percival already on another call, spotted Hink's vehicle after receiving a be on the lookout, a bolo, beyond the lookout. Do you know about

that? Yeah. Alert and tip from a witness. According to VPD, Percival tried to stop the truck, and Hink paused briefly, like, slowed up a little bit. Slowed up as he. And then sped away. After a second stop, he fled again, prompting a multi-agency pursuit. Here we go.

Sequoia County Sheriff, Larry Lane. I'm not making these names. Larry Lane. I like that one. That's a good one. I like Larry Lane. That sounds like that could be LA Confidential.

Yeah, I like that. Who's showing up on the scene. Larry Lane's going to be here in five minutes. You better get your story straight. Yeah, you don't want to fuck around with Larry Lane. Or like Danny DeVito's character in LA Confidential. Larry Lane. Always on the scene.

Always on the street. Hell yeah. He said in a news release that he was alerted to the situation while eating lunch at a local restaurant. Do not tell me the name of the restaurant is like Sandy McGillacotties. Immediately joined the pursuit. But like, why do you have to bring up that you were eating lunch? Like, I got, I'm eating lunch. That's what he's pissed most about.

Yeah. They got people to work into his lunch. Yeah. Lane said deputies from the Sequoia County Sheriff's Office, the Salasaw Police Department, and the Oklahoma Highway Patrol troopers assisted. pursuit reach speeds of over how fast was this naked truck driver we don't know the make a mile of the truck I'm gonna say 110 110 I say 120 I'm picturing like a little like ranger like Chevy S 10 so you know when you get up there and it's like like those from the 80 yeah we had a we had

like an 88 an old automobile 88 and uh it couldn't go a pat like above 70 miles per hour so I remember my mom driving us, we were going to Chicago. Like everything was shaking in the car. It's like when they're like Apollo 13, when they're coming back in and you're like, I don't know if we're going to bake it through the atmosphere. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I'm going to say, what did you say?

He said 110? He said 120. Oh, you guys are up there. This is like the price is right at this point. Yeah, come on. I think, I think going back to boredom, whatever we have to do, we'll do, like, just looking for something to do.

I'm going to go 85 miles. 85 miles an hour. Get your answers in because the pursuit reached speeds of over 100 miles per hour. Oh, well, don't. That's you. Right here. Continued for several miles.

Officers attempted to disable Hink's vehicle with stop sticks. Yep. But they were ineffective. Right. Bros. driving through stop sticks. Lane said a semi-truck driver assisted by slowing in front of the pickup. So now they're getting other trucks on the road into this one. A second trooper executed a tactical vehicle intervention, a TVI.

You know, you tip the back and then spinning out to Hink's truck. That reminds me. I did almost do that to somebody in real life. You did it? Yeah, man. I was taking my daughter to go look at in Florida. Okay. My wife and daughter did in Florida.

And I was taking her to go look for a new school, like her new middle school. She was trying to decide what middle school she wanted to go to. And this dude, white dude, he cut me off and trapped in a pickup truck. Probably the same one. Could be this guy. His truck was white, though. You got mad. I got mad because I got my daughter in the back.

and he cut me off and we was like in a school zone. So I'm like, you're speeding through a school zone. My daughter's in the back and I'm trying to turn into this school. So pit maneuver. That's what it's called, right? The pit maneuver.

So he's in the truck and I literally started because I've seen enough of these. You know, we're in LA. We've seen enough of these police. Chase it. So we know how to do the move. We all know how to do the move. Are you being yelled at by your own family?

It was just my daughter in the back. Oh, okay. My wife, she was at school. She was a teacher. Yeah. And I'm sure my daughter, she still remember that. She was like, oh my God. So she didn't know what was going on.

Now, the dude, I was like kind of yelling at the dude. He was yelling at me, yeah, fuck you, you. Whatever, whatever. So I did the pit maneuver. The back of his truck. And his truck started to like go like this. And then I stopped. I said, yo, if this dude flips over.

I'm going to jail. You may never leave Florida. I may never leave Florida. That's right. Yeah, just the way I like it. Florida. I'm a Florida man. Did you touch it?

We did. Oh, I still got a mark up my car from it. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. You didn't exchange. Can he turn around and try to come get you or no? I'd be worried about that too. I think he was happy that his truck didn't flip over and he probably thought I was insane. That is such a bold move. That's incredible. So anyway, thank God that you had the moment of clarity of like, hold on. I better not. If I look at this from a thousand feet up. That's a fact. Yeah. Because I really did have that moment. While I was doing it, I was like, I started to see the truck go like that. I was like, yo, if this flips, I'm going to jail. My daughter's got a loser. Her dad. about this is going to make it better. It's like in the NFL. When someone like punches someone and the refs don't see it, you always get the penalty for retaliation. That's always the guy who gets, he was wrong for getting ahead of you.

Yeah. But you're like, I didn't need that. Because the lane was closing and he like, yeah, he's cutting in front. I'm on your side. I'm not on this guy. I would have been fine if you flipped him, but I'm just saying. I would have been too if I didn't go to me if I wouldn't go to jail.

That's right. The Sequoia County Sheriff's Office said, this is where this becomes a dumb people tell us to it. Now. Hink briefly rolled down his window, waved to officers before rolling it back up and reversing. Deputy fired one round at the front tire. Front tire, front tire. Sequoia County Sierra said Hink briefly rolled down his window and waved officers before rolling it back up. They fired the shot.

He eventually removed Hink. So he shot the tires out. It comes to a stop. Who remained unclothed. So now you've got to go in and grab a naked guy. That's as a cop. And he's probably, like, I hate my job. So, wait a minute.

How did they know he was naked? So you can see him from the chest up. He's got knowing, but then you open the door and you're like, oh, no. But also, Oklahoma. What are we doing? Windows up. Naked. This dude is sweaty.

Oh, yeah. This is going to be. It's not going to be fun. After he reportedly refused and repeated commands to exit. So they're like, get out. We don't want to touch you. Get out and get on the ground. And he was like, no.

So now they got to go in and get this naked. boldness. What if he's a germaphobe? He's like, I can't get on the ground. I can't even wear clothes. An Oklahoma Highway Patrol trooper sustained lacerations to his hand during the extraction and received treatment, Lane said. The incident is a reminder of how quickly situations can escalate in law enforcement. I think it's a reminder of a drunk, like, you know, naked guy. Sheriff Lane said, one minute, I was having lunch with my family. And the next, I had someone at gunpoint and gotten to a lengthy. He is pissed about this. He's so mad about the luck. They're waiting for this. of garden table for so long. I only had bottomless breadsticks at my hands. I only had one refill of the bottomless bricks. I'm touring Italy over here. Damn it underscores why training and readiness are so critical for all of us.

In a social media post, of course, the police department has to go. You know that's going on Facebook. They go for their best New York post pun and the headline is like, hink before you act. Hink before you. What was he hinking? What was he hinking? Yeah, they didn't do any of that, I wish. She said officer personal actions were within department policy, calling her a seasoned officer who exemplifies the professional standards and exportation set for Von Police Department.

Hink was transported to a nearby hospital for medical and mental health evaluations. That's probably good idea. The Sequoia County Sheriff's Office confirmed he had an outstanding felony warrant from Muskegee County for a hit and run case. So this isn't the first time. No, he's kink. Hink. Hink. Additional charges.

Here we go. Getting kinky. Getting hinky. Related son of instance are getting hinky with it are expected in Sequential. Way of County. Here's a picture of the guy. I think we're going to try to guess his age. There is.

Oh, man. Very close to what I thought. A little bit thicker of a build. I kind of don't recognize him with clothes on. I mean, right? What's his dude doing? I don't even have his age, but that's just what he looks like. He looks like every guy on HGTV.

Did he give an explanation why he was naked? No. No. He looks like he stormed the Capitol on January 7th. Yeah. Yeah. In the 8th. And the 8th.

And the ninth, and he got naked on the 10th. Just kept going back. He just kept going back. I think he looks like he's about 36 years old. I think so. Right? We don't have an age on him. We can all guess.

All right, that's story number one, down the books. Man. There you go. When we come back, we're going to let you know what Justin's up to, what we're up to. This is Dumb People Town. We are off and running. Stay with us. Payne maneuvers.

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It's Dumb People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show before we get into Justin's amazing podcast. What are you going on, boys? Let's tell you what we have going on. We got, we're going to the Moontower Comedy Festival. Can't wait. That's the end of April. We're going to do our Netflix's.

a joke show our tagged show comedians do their sets we take we're in the back writing tags we then pitch them on stage that's 930 may 6th wednesday night ucb theater hey also we dropped a don't tell special a 13 minute uh taping that's on their youtube page we're putting clips up on our social but go to youtube watch the don't tell special it's trying to get as many people to watch it it's called the same white guy twice that's funny that's who we are and we just love that special and love how it came out those guys did a really good job and that was really fun to do so that that's out there. Do you all feel hope that you all might get nominated for the Academy Award being twins?

Being twins? No. Our joke about that as we were hosting the VES Awards is like, you know, the visual effects of sinners was just incredible just by the simple taking- turning Michael B. Jordan and turning into twins, thereby ensuring that real twin actors like us will never work again. Thanks a lot, you jerks. You guys are too good.

Hope you're proud of yourself. I was hoping you guys were going to go, they spent millions and millions of dollars to recreate Michael B. Jordan to have two twins on screen. and to that we say and then you just hand him a cigarette and then you smoke it and be like we would have done it for scale well how much was this pack

how much was his pack? Exactly Finally a black man taking a white man taking our job It took a while It took a while He did it He was amazing in the movie

They were amazing Both of the two Michael B. Jordans were incredible in that movie Let me just say And to see him with the Oscar at In and Out afterwards That was so cool That was great

Weird Al did that, didn't he, when he won a Grammy? I remember when Patton won his Grammy, he went to the Arby's, the RIP Arbyes. And he sat there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Him and Matt went. That was so cool. That was so cool.

I loved it. So, anyway, we got dates in the south. We're going to Mobile, Alabama, Baton Rouge, Lafayette, and Lake Charles. That's going to be like May 13th, 14th, 15th. Then to the Bay, right? Then to the Bay, right? Then we go to San Francisco, Cobbs Comedy Club. And then in the fall, we got a bunch.

We may go to the comedy fort, and then in the fall, we got a bunch. Some great Sanarbor, Michigan. Some year I'm going to just tag along just to go to a Michigan game. Oh, you can. You have to. I know. We've been friends for almost 15 years. I've got to be fired.

All right. And let's talk about your podcast, man, killing it. Yeah, killing it. It's hosted by myself, comedians, B.T. Kingsley and London Brown. And London is on one of 50-cent shows right now called Raising Canaan. So they're going into their fifth season. I know.

And B.T. Kingsley tours with Nate Jackson and Matt Rife. And yeah, and I was on some McGivers show, CBS shows, McGiver and Rush Hour. And so we collectively came together to do a podcast, the three of us. And it's going really well. We've been doing it for maybe like four or five months now, but subscribers are going up. We're talking about Brian Simpson being on it. You have a collection of like other actors and comedians. Oh, man, yeah.

So what it is is we talk to actors and comedians that we feel like are killing it in the industry. And like killing it in their career. So, yeah, we've had Brian Simpson. We've had Jeff Dye. We've had Nate Jackson Kave on stage But it's a lot of people All you got Shantay Wayne's

Punky Johnson So all you got to do is just go To our podcast It's on YouTube and all the podcast platforms Who? Tamir, wasn't Tamir on there? Tahir. Yeah, to hear more He's great

He's great So yeah, it's doing really well I love it. Check it out. Check it out and are you doing any stand-up or anything or no? Do instead of no tour dates right now I plan to put some tour dates

on sale next year Great. And Lil'Keev. I'm on Little Kav. On what used to be BT Plus, but now it's going to be Paramount Plus. So, season two, a Lil' Kev that's Kevin Hart's animated series. So good. We just worked on his show on with Kenan Thompson on.

We wrote on Amazon. And what's your Instagram handle for me? Justin Hires. Like tires, but with H. H. H. H. H. Justin Hires. And if you screw me, I'll fucking get you with a pit maneuver. That's right. He'll shoot your hires out.

That's right. I'll shoot your hires out. People need to check first before they cut you off. is he of your daughter's in the car. Daughter's not in the car. Just be smart when you're driving around. He will back off. Yeah.

Yeah. Exactly. It was only because she was in the car. Oh, 100%. Yeah. She saved your life. She saved your life. We got this story sent in by Nicole Miller comedy at Nicole Miller.

Thank you, Nicole. Thanks, Nicole. Here it is. Man arrested after taking Wisconsin Rapids ambulance with patient inside. So when you steal an ambulance, you got to check if someone's in the back. Yes. Stole the ambulance with a patient inside. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

That's a mistake. Wisconsin Rapids. Now you've got a responsibility. Right. Now you've got to get them somewhere. Now you've got a job. Now you've got to do something. You're back there yelling out.

Defib. Clear. Blood transfusions. Yeah. Do you have time to go to Burger King? Right. Hey, it's cool if you want to go this way, but I do need to be inhibited whenever you get a chance. I just need a tube down my throat.

No one was injured after police say A, and we'll get to his age, man was got into a driver's seat of an ambulance with a patient inside and led a chase with law enforcement for more than how many miles. from Wisconsin Rapids to Pittsville. How long... Can you imagine being in the back of that thing? Crazy. Being in a police chase. How many miles you can do this? I'm going to go 13 miles.

Jay, what do you think? 27 miles. I'm about to say. My initial was 30. Go with it. Go with it. This thing went 18 miles. Hey.

It's right there. According to that's long, by the way. Yes. Ambulance was far. It was parked on February 17th on the fortunate block. Back to back chases here. 22nd Avenue South in Wisconsin Rapids as fire department crews were providing medical

care to a patient nearby. Two paramedics were in the ambulance with the patient secured on a gurney when a man got into the driver's seat. He's got three people in the back? Oh, yeah. Don't you want to know what the patient needed so bad. So maybe we'll find this. One paramedic got out of the ambulance

to try and stop the man. And the second paramedic tried to stop the man from moving the ambulance but left the ambulance when the safety was compromised. The man then left the scene, driving the ambulance with the patient still inside. Jesus. So both paramedics get out to try and stop it and end up then not being in the ambulance with the patient.

It's just the guy and the patient. Sure, they was trying to stop it. They knew what was happening. They're like, let's get the hell out of here. You don't want to be a patient. Right. I care about myself. Right.

At about what time do you think on February 17th did this whole thing go down? February 17th. You're a guest. What time do you think this went down? You know, I'm going to go with 1224 p.m. I had the noon hour. Day time. Daytime.

Daytime. I'm going to go 8 a.m. What do you think, Jay? I want to say 10 a.m. Okay, this thing took place. You ready for this? At 537 p.m. Okay, so, and it's February 17, so it's dark out.

It's nighttime in Wisconsin at 5.30 p.m. So the plea thing told... I was kind of the closest on the word. Yeah. 18.2 miles. Chase lasted about 40 minutes according to release. As the officers followed the ambulance, they tried to end the chase early by deploying a tired deflation device that was

successful. Now, you got to be careful because you can't do the pit move on this guy. No, you got a patient in the back. Remember they were like stop sticks in Jason's story? Yeah. And then, and then. These are strips. Yeah.

Oh, they did the strips again? Tire deflation devices that were, oh, hold on. Because the gun shooting a tire was also a tire. How fast can an ambulance go? So they tried to do the tire devices. They were unsuccessful. So these tire devices are working. Let's just be honest right here.

Which is probably good for an ambulance. I guess. Right. In case you run over something. They attempted tire deflation also unsuccessfully. They ultimately did deploy the tire deflation devices successfully. The Pittsville police did disabling the front passenger side tire. According to the release, the man then drove the ambulance into a muddy field and got stuck.

The man refused to exit the ambulance as officers commanded according to the release. Yeah, he's not going. People don't want to get out. You know, I've never seen an ambulance broken down on the side of the road. In a muddy field? Just in general. Even like just in like just in like. In life, I've never seen a broken down ambulance.

Me either. So maybe it is something with their tires. They're like extra strong. Yeah. Out of concern for the patient in the back, the Wisconsin police deployed a drone to observe the man at the scene. Then a coordinated team of officers and deputies approached the ambulance and took him into custody. The Wisconsin Rabbit's Police Department is requesting charges of disorderly conduct.

Lude and lascivious behavior. I love the word lascivious. Lecivis. You know, you're in trouble when I say lecivisivis. You sound slightly drunk. When you say lascivious. What did you say? He said lescilias.

I'm lascivious. It also sounds like a STD. Yeah, I got that lascivious. I know. I got a wash. That went dormant for a lot of years. Talk to your doctor about lascivious today. You got to shower twice a day when you have that.

You need a shower in the ass. That's right. You shot in the ass and shower twice a day. Motivicle without the owner's consent, obstructing emergency personnel recklessly endangering safety threats to law enforcement and a third offense of operating while intoxication. Yes. Daily Tribune is not naming.

the man because of the morning of February 18th, charges were not filed. Oh, they let him go? Both the man and the patient were taking to Pittsville Emergency Medical Services to Aspirus, Wisconsin Rapids Hospital for evaluation and treatment. Both were uninjured in the crash. The ambulance was towed from the scene with minor damage. The port police and the Wisconsin State Patrol also assisted. Now, I ask you, how old is the man who would do this?

Who would steal an ambulance while a patient is in there? Yeah. It feels young. young man's game, right? It's a young man's game. You want to go last? I'll go last on this one. I'm going to go 26 years old.

Jay, what do you think? 34. Okay. And I was thinking, you think on bullshit, I was thinking 23. Okay. Go for it. Michael Jordan, throw it out there. We talk of Michael B. Jordan.

We're talking Michael B. Jordan. Here we go. You miss all the shots that you don't take. Here we go. This man was 37 years old. He's lived a while. He's lived a while. Wow.

All right. We got one more story. When we come back, we'll hear what Dan has going on and how you can catch him on his upcoming shows and stuff. Give us a little taste of what we're going to hear in the story today. Not a problem, my friend. Let me just pull it up. I think there's some nakedness. Am I right?

Yeah, there's a bit of it. There's a bit of it. But only half. Only half naked. All right. Half naked and religious. I love how naked everybody's getting in this thing. It's Dumb People Town.

Justin Hires is our guest. His podcast, Killing It's Got to Check It Out. And we'll be right back. Stick around. Make a Sound. Hunger Down is Dump People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Daniel, before we jump into the third story, tell people where they can see you and what you have going on.

Sure. Check out my podcast. The other one I do, the midnight air. That drops every about Monday night. Sometimes it moves around based on travel, but it's just an overnight radio podcast of me just talking about general stuff to help you go to say. It is so calming and so good. I recently did top 10 things. Somebody suggested it and I did it. A fan suggested it.

Top 10 most annoying things when traveling. Oh, that's so good. Yeah. You know, I mean, so good. High up there was other people who don't travel a lot. Because they just, so many times they just don't know where to go. And I don't mind people not knowing. It's when they do it with like attitude or like get into your personal space.

Middle seat with people who don't respect the space. Oh, that's a good one. Middle seat. Person who's not ready to exit the plane when it's their rose turn. Oh, that's a good one too. Get your shit together. Now there are plenty of times when traveling, this doesn't apply at all. But when it does apply, it's always annoying.

The fact that we can, even if you're in the, you know, hotel in the same town, in which you live, the channels on the TV are never the same. Certain channels are never there. It's so weird to me. That's annoying. I would say also annoying if you rent a car anywhere, it doesn't matter if there's six people in line or 60 people in line, it's going to take two hours. Yeah.

I don't like when you're on the plane is delayed and nobody says anything. Like the pilot doesn't say anything. I put that one. I go, I don't know. I understand delays. I understand cancellations. I don't like when I'm lied to. when they're like, oh, we're going to take off in a couple minutes

and they know it's lowly. Yeah. You just want information. I just want information. I've been sitting there for like 20, 30 minutes and then it's like, what's happening? Catch me up. Now I've got to do a pit maneuver on the plane. That's right.

Not to go back to the rental car thing, but I recently rented a car in Detroit. And like there were three people working. There were 18 people in line. I'm like, all right, we're going to get through this thing fast. I'm going to get this car fast. It should be 18 minutes. Five minutes. Six people that I have to go if we go there.

I watched two people, like, one woman left for the day after she'd serviced one person. One other woman went in the back and like, two women went in the back. So no one was there. Then one other woman came out, helped one customer and then left. And then there was no one at the... Nobody at the counters. I'm like, you guys... That is a version of hell.

What are we doing? That's wild. What are we doing it? Just fun stuff like that, joking around, talking about stuff. That's a midnight air. And then Daniel Van Kirk.com. Come see me live. I've got so many dates that are out and about right now that you can come check me out.

I'm going to be in Iowa, Wilmington, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina. I'll be in Charlotte. I'll be in Wisconsin. I'll be in Illinois. All over the place. Everything's at Daniel vancirk.com. I would love to see you. I'm even doing Boca Raton.

I'm doing Austin. So everything's up there. Nice. Come on. Let's jump into this story. All right. All right. All right.

All right. Headline this. Half naked burglary suspect. Hits Florida Sheriff with Bible before pooping himself. Now, is he Winnie the Pooh in it? Like just a shirt and shoes? What do we do? What half are we doing this?

It's got to be bottom half. Otherwise, they're not even talking about it. We don't know how constipated this guy was. That's right. He might have had to hit the sheriff in order to get that. To release it. But wait, but wait. That's the final push.

But if he was really constipated and he then, I would feel terrible for him if this is the only way he can release. himself. She now has to rob a place, have a sheriff get there, hits him with the Bible, and that's the only way he can't. He can only hit a sheriff to it. Can't be anybody regular. Can't be a regular officer. Can't be a deputy. It's got to be someone of rank. Of rank. Yeah, it got to be sheriff. Takes place in Ocala, Florida. I got family in Ocala. Here we go. Come on an old stopping ground. Robert Otis Hoskins. Say that again. Robert Otis Hoskins.

That's a Negro. Middle name, Otis. That's civil rights name right now. That is. He was arrested last week after police were called to his home following reports that Hoskins had broken into a neighbor's home to steal clothes. Well, he knew what he needed. He needed something.

This is a short little dumb story. Does he think that they won't notice when he's wearing their sweater around the neighborhood? That looks a lot like my V-neck sweater. It is. Remember we did that story once that somebody stole a family's luggage at a resort and then was wearing the luggage or like wearing the clothes around the resort? Balsy. That is ballsy.

sheriff's deputies found the half-naked suspected burglar outside his home last week. When confronted, Hoskins allegedly screamed, I condemn you at the sheriff's deputy and then threw a Bible at him. Hey, man, he threw the book at him. Yeah, well, they're about to. The Bible landed squarely in the deputy's face and jaw, which I got to admit, Robert probably fist-pumped a little bit. It's hard to throw a book.

Like, if the book opens on the throw, it's going to flutter down this way. Athletic Christian Negro. Thank you. Otis. Otis. Another responding deputy was able to capture the scene unfold through body cam footage. Yeah, that's the point. Oh, no, that is the Christmas party video. I love the news was like, guys, they turned the cams on.

What a crucial part of this story. You know the things that should be capturing everything they do anyway? Anyways, I know. That may be the most unbelievable part of this whole thing. It's like white officers arresting a black man and they turn their cameras on. Good. Thank God. The video shows.

Progress. Progress. Progress. Thank you. We like to call that progress. Thank you. I mean, he's, he's, he's naked-ish. He's not even nude.

The video shows Hoskins wearing gray underwear and a black rosary around his neck, running towards the deputy while flailing an open book Bible in his right hand. Gray under ear and a rosary. Yeah. And so like, so this is a deeply religious man. Yeah. Or he just got religious in this moment. I'm going to cling to God.

Yeah, but Christ compels me. I'm going to cling to God in this moment. That's when deputies tazard Hoskins before taking him into custody. Authorities say Hoskins then defecated himself while he was detained and allegedly told them that God told him to break into his neighbor's home. Oh, it's God. So when you're throwing God under the bus, what? I mean, he told me. So he didn't defecate while he was being tased.

He waited until he got to the cell. I got something for you. Yeah, you're going to have to clean this. That's like my dog used to do that when I would like leave the house. That was an out of spite shit That was like a you're not here I want you to be here I'm gonna let you know

Yeah Here's something you guys didn't see coming The arrest report also includes Hoskins' wife saying quote He does have a drug problem Sounds like you got a duky problem Right exactly I didn't see a wife coming

I didn't see a wife coming I didn't see a lot of So anybody who is single And it's like I can't find anybody This man This guy Your one rosary and a pair of gray underwear Away from having the love of your life Who calls it like

it is. So our grandmother used to say every pod has a lid. Okay? That's what I'm saying. I just see him like taking like a bottle of laxatives right before he pulled off the robbery. If anybody comes close to me, it's all coming out. Okay, do you want to see a photo first? Yeah. And then guess his age

or guess his age first. Let's see a photo first. Aaron, do you have it? No, I have it. Oh, okay, ready? Robert, hold on. This has got all messed up. Okay. Okay. Robert First, hold on. If he's the first Asian Otis, I mean, I will. This thing literally feels.

I will stand up and clap. The first Asian Odis. I should have sent it to our friend. All right, here we go. Aaron, I'm sorry I let you down. I do have it pulled up now. Okay. Robert, Otis, Hoskins.

This guy. Wow. It's a redneck. It's a redneck. That is a Grand Theft Auto side character. You have to help. Very early in the game, steal a boat that he does not own, but he thinks his belongs to him. Yeah.

So this light dude. He's the reason why you die from the body camera. There we go. Thank you, Aaron. Aaron's got it pulled up for everybody. This is the reason why you die early. Yeah. Yeah.

Now, I'm be honest with you. His name is, I could tell, he, he not, he don't look like an oldest, but his parents hung around Negroes. Somebody hung around. Somebody hung around. Somebody was influenced. Somebody was influenced. Also, there's two dogs in this. You can only really see one of them, but you can tell that both of them.

them are looking at the police officers going, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. They're like, we're not even his dogs and thank you. And he's not mean to us. We're just sick of the tension around here. They don't listen to him. They definitely don't listen to his commands. How old do you think Robert Otis Hoskins is? I just love that he's a white guy. Come on. Look at him with the fat. I'm going to say 46. 36. 37 year old man. I'm going to say he's a rough 32. You know what I mean? He's like a methy 32. He's on meth for sure. He's a meth. He's a meth. Well, he does have a drinking problem. He does have a drug problem. Who are you? I'm his wife. I'm his wife.

Of course. I mean, again. You can't feel this chemistry between me and his? I mean, also, he asked this woman to marry him and she said, I can't let this guy go. No. His middle name is Otis. You have a bit, y'all perform in them small town. Sometimes that's the best that they can.

Sometimes you take what you can. Proximity. Proximity, romance. Top shelf. That's top shelf. Local. Top shelf local. That's funny. You write that down. That's funny.

Top shelf local. That might be the title of this episode. Top shelf local. All right. Robert Otis Hoskins is, we will end the episode here. Justin Hears. Thank you so much for being here. Justin, you were so awesome. Check out, Justin Hears. You killed it on this podcast, and now people can go check out killing it your podcast.

And just watch you on all the great things that you're a part of. Lil Kev, all the stuff. Give me the ages one more time. Jason. What did I say? I said 37. I said 32. 32. I think I said 46. 46.

Robert Otis Hoskins is 39 years ago. Very good. Very good. That was good for 39. Damn. That is a quick, very quick romp. But sometimes these shows just they flow, they go fast. I love it.

Justin, thank you. And oh, snap, we got to get back to work, y'all. Peace.