Dumb People Town - Luke Null - That's Fancy Nugs
Episode Date: March 25, 2025Comedian Luke Null (Pretty Songs, Dirty Words) stops by as Daniel describes a woman that stole a jacket that was actually a piece of art on the wall at the Picasso Museum in Paris, Randy explains why ...a woman was arrested at an Indiana Applebee's over an "All You Can Eat" dispute, and Jason warns against vandalizing the wrong car after a breakup, and so much more! Luke plays a song! Thanks to our sponsor: Chewy! Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. And right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to Chewy.com/DPT.
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Hey, Tatties, welcome to another episode of
Dumb People Town.
Population, you.
Population null.
Luke.
No, he's got a new special,
which I wish was called the null set,
which is just your face with a circle around it
and a line drawn right through it.
And there's no, when you put it in,
it's nothing, it's just blank.
Nothingness.
The null set.
You have a new special, we'll talk about that
at the top of segment two, but.
Love that.
Pretty songs, dirty words.
That's right.
Here's the deal, the world is stupid,
and we, all of us, delight in its stupidity.
It is.
We revel in it.
We revel in it, we trade in it, we love it.
Sometimes we perpetuate it.
Yes, we do.
And we get wonderful stories sent to us.
Still you can send them to us on X.
You do at Sclarbrothers, at Daniel Van Kirk, hashtag Dumb People Down.
It tells us when they came in, so that's how we see them.
Send them to us.
And we've had some new people send some stuff in.
So thank you to all of our friends who sent stories in.
Daniel, jump in the first one.
You ready?
Yes, let's do it send it by Derek the
legendary daddy which I only hope is sexual yes and I only saw it is a hat
game design dude what does he do for a living I have a deal he's a Leatherman
which is also a sexual it's a blacksmith he's a daddy a leather daddy he's a
blacksmith although sounds all sexual every single one
I remember in Chicago the first time I walked I was like walking through downtown in the loop and I just saw like
Big burly man leather big burly man leather and I was like what is this and then a couple years later
They I saw it all again and then I came when I started working for the Chicago reader
I found out it was the International Mr. Leather Fest.
Sure. Oh yeah.
And I always thought about the people
who were just doing a weekend getaway
and didn't realize that they were entering in the fun den.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or someone from a small town visiting Chicago is like,
what are you here for?
A bean. Mr. Leather Fest?
Where's Mrs. Leather?
Yeah. She's not here. She passed away in Daddy, where's Mrs. Leather Daddy? Yeah.
She's not here.
She passed away in her sleep.
But also just, I like the idea of an international leather
daddy dress, where you're like, you
could be just like some guy from Sweden who's just like,
no, I'm just here for this.
Kianis.
Doesn't matter where they hold it, I just come.
Kianis to papa.
Yes.
Woman steals, this is the headline,
woman steals jacket artwork on display at the,
I think it's M-U-S-S, M-U-S-E-E, musee?
Musee.
Musee Picasso.
Oh my god.
This is in Spain?
Sounds French.
Yeah.
Barcelona. It's in Paris.
Oh, Paris. you have a museum He said he knows where Carmen's at. I love it. His drummer's name is.
Did mid George time. No.
I like when you pause
because you know you don't want to have to say it.
But it's in there.
I'm so mad tag along St. John's, but whatever.
We can get into all the biggies.
These are all the biggies.
Samoa Sterakis.
My favorite goes to Samoa Gunsaka.
Samoa Gunsaka.A. Masaminos.
Raleigh Masaminos.
Did they have to change Samoa?
Samoans?
They called them Samoas.
As long as they're not Samoans.
Samoas Sars.
What's this rice cookie?
Why is there a
pea?
Why is there a day to my cookie?
The ones at Cheesecake Factory pretty good. God damn do the really? Yeah, she's gave me some
Here's the thing. It's on page 48 of the menu, right? So they don't they don't whip them up often I would that would be so this would be such a carrot top bit is to come up with the cliff notes of the
Cheesecake back. Yeah, a really short.
It says Cliff Notes Cheesecake Factory Menu.
What are you reading right now?
Well, I'm listening to Cheesecake Factory Menu on tape.
I have an audio book.
I have a long trip.
Who's narrating that?
I don't think you'll mind me saying.
Sir Ian McKellen.
I love you so much.
I think it's okay to say this interaction.
So Chris Sullivan and I recently went
to the Cheesecake Factory together.
Of course you did.
And while you sat down, did you say this is us?
It is us.
So we're sitting there and one of the women who works there, she walks over and she goes,
I'm so sorry.
I don't ever interrupt anyone.
My boyfriend and I have been binge watching your show.
You are one of our favorite characters
I love you so much and you know Chris is one of the best guys in the world. So he's like, oh, yeah
No, no problem at all. And she goes
She goes I mean seriously
Every single person everyone famous comes into this cheesecake factory. I don't say like I mean every like a con Kanye
I don't bother them at all
But I had to say hi to you and she leaves and I go usually
get that pairing a con or Kanye. It's Chris Sullivan. That's right. It was nice that she
sent over a bazooka in the shape of a swastika. Oh this is for another table. Sorry sorry
Kanye. Kanye ordered a kosher meal. Yeah. Why. All right. So this guy or you'll villain
over. We made it five four words in yeah
Exhibited a jacket filled with postcards visitors could remove and examine at the Musee Picasso in Paris
Little did he imagine that one person would take the liberal you're inviting people to pull shit out of your jacket
Oh, right, then don't know what you've you've started right opened the can of worm
Oh, and then he complained post that he so first what he's saying what he complained that someone stole the jacket
Well, that was but it's Picasso's jacket period
But it is true like when an artist goes
I just want to break down the barrier between experiencing art and seeing art and the artist sure well
You don't once you break that down
Yeah, like we've all seen comics where it's like,
they've engaged too much with the audience
and then they get mad at them and I go yes, obviously.
Toothpaste is out of the tube!
But I'm like, you ain't going back in!
You opened this door.
Yes you did.
And once you do that, you kind of.
You live with the consequences.
Yes.
That is Picasso's toothpaste out of the tubus period.
I had an opposite scenario of the postcard scenario,
which is that one time at a gig,
I went immediately after a drag queen,
and the drag queen announced her set
by being like, anybody who's feeling it,
like put money in my outfit.
Sure.
Like jam dollar bills all over me. great way to make a little extra money
Sure, I do that instead of a merch line. It's on merch line. That's right. So I
Follow that act and I go same deal but for me anybody, you know
Sure, and here's the thing is they they did it they did it
So I'm in the middle of my set of perform with a guitar. Someone came up and stuck a not someone
40 people were just
During me stuffing money into your underwear jamming shit into my
And I'm like and I'm like in the moment I'm like I asked them to do
You brought this on you but how much do you remember how much you made at the end of that?
It was all singles.
Of course.
And it was like $78.
It was like, it was a lot of singles that I then had to be like, how, what am I going
to do with all these singles?
Go to the strip club.
I suppose.
That's what you do.
Pay it back.
Put it back.
Pay it forward.
Exactly.
One second.
Yeah, exactly.
Dude, that's amazing. in the moment I'm like I
can't be mad I this is throwing me off because I asked so the guy was like come
in dig around this jacket take anything you want out of it and somebody goes
I'll take the jacket yeah and he was like no no no no no I can't do that so
in late March a woman took the blue jacket which had been hanging on the wall
blue took it home with her, according to French daily,
La Parisienne, she then had it altered at a tailor's
so it would fit.
No.
No.
So dumb.
Who, honestly, this now, I'm now, I'm like,
you're an idiot.
Who goes to a museum, even if you can take the postcards off
and doesn't understand that you can't take the jacket.
Take something home and then just get it altered.
You wear it everywhere.
She's like, this doesn't even fit, she's mad at it.
She's like, of all the nerve, to let me steal a jacket
that is at best boxy on me.
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna tailor this.
Shoulder pads.
Let me bring it in wild. Yeah wild behavior
I'm partially still mad at the guy for being like I guess
Technically it's within the rules that I must give you the jacket
It's like you you did you took the like how are you about to let that lady walk out the front door?
Well, he's not no he's not there. He's not there
Guys back no, but there has to be a security on a wall and there's postcards in the pocket and you can go in
and take a postcard. So the security guard wasn't looking probably and she puts the jacket
on and walks out. Here's how she got caught. Upon returning to the museum. She goes back
to the museum. In the crime. In the jacket probably. To revisit the show, a few days
later the woman who had been captured on surveillance camera putting the jacket into her bag
Was arrested by police who happened to be at the museum looking for evidence of this crime, right?
So a true returning to the scene of the she's like, what are you guys looking at? What's up?
Nobody's gonna say anything about my yeah. She's wearing it. She's like what happened to that jacket
Yeah, they have just a clear vinyl jacket with the with the postcards in it
Right exactly while in custody the woman her picture on every postcard. Have you seen this?
She's been banned. Yeah, do not let you not allow this woman to come back to the scene of the crime
She's like wish you were here now so we can make the wall the museum. Yeah, I'm are
Well in custody the woman who was reportedly
Well in custody the woman who was reportedly
Passionate about art according to La Parisienne immediately confessed to seeing the jacket But claimed not to have realized it was an artwork
So what she thought this was the lost and found right as a take one leave one also right here
Not yours. No if you saw a jacket just laying on a bench
We wouldn't leave no you leave it in the front police searched her home where they found it was shortened sleeves
Well, yeah, it's a bit really great. Yeah, she's like I can't what am I gonna do?
I got for some reason in my mind. They just mean she had it tailored, but I was picturing remember that era
We're like pre. Yes the Capri
This yes, yeah, I
Still got bangles on the branks and wearing a bangle shirt
But this recently happened,
a scenario similar to this where last season,
someone broke into Joe Burroughs' house
while he was in Dallas on Monday Night Football.
And stole jewelry, right?
They broke in and stole a bunch of stuff,
jewelry, et cetera, et cetera,
and then they caught the guys
because they were all wearing the stuff out in town. And it's like like you're the dumbest guys ever you can't wear you didn't win. You didn't win a national championship, bro
Yeah, exactly
I don't want we I don't want to go too far
So if I just out of curiosity did have any of you guys watch chiefs of holic the documentary about the guy who robbed banks on
The road no, you know about this story the title alone. Maybe he saw yes
He was a he followed the chiefs around the country and whatever away game he was at, he would
rob a bank in that town so they couldn't connect all these bankwires.
They didn't know they were tied together.
Eventually they figured out, oh, there's a Chiefs away game in all these cities and it
was a fan who was like a big predominant, well-known fan.
He wore a whole wolves outfit and Chiefs gear and all that stuff. So there's a documentary about him about robbing for tickets.
He's just taking back the land.
I'm just glad he didn't go with the Native American tomahawk chop.
Yeah, that's right. I agree.
I agree.
You don't want to come in with it.
That's how he got sworn in.
Then that would be a bad bank robber.
That's terrible.
Here's what I don't understand.
But I'm still now on his side.
Right.
Worthy of getting the money back.
So police go to her house. They find the jacket was short shortened sleeves. After a few hours of interrogation, how much time
did you need? You have her. It seems like you're dead to rights. It's like, did you
do it? This is from the museum, right? Arms behind your back. Yeah, we broke her. There's
nothing else to ask. I can't, they're too short. The public prosecutor's office. She
has short arms. She's got T-Rex arms. So it gets us straight. You want me to go over there?
She takes the jacket, which I do feel there's some gray area of like, you opened the door
here to people being like, oh, take whatever.
But she, she take it, whatever, they determine she's in the wrong.
She takes the jacket, they, she comes back, they catch her based off of identifying her.
She wasn't wearing the jacket.
Then they search her home, which she could have just gotten herself. No, no, no. We got to search her home. They find the
jacket. Then they interrogate her for hours, all to say this. After a few hours of interrogation,
the public prosecutor's office let the woman off with a warning.
What? What did we do all this for then? No. No. What did we do? Why did we do all this?
They should at least make her lengthen the sleeves again. Right? Yeah, yeah. You have
to take it and have this free alternate. Have this out a way. Yes figure out a way. There's not enough material
They cut the material out. I don't care. Can I figure it out? I figure it out put a new hem on it
I wonder if it was even that nice of a jacket. It's like a
It's literally exactly just a blue blazer. Oh, it's nothing that's it Villanova's artwork
It's literally, exactly, just a blue blazer. It's nothing.
That's it.
Villanova's artwork belongs to his old master series,
which involved filling the pockets of a blue jacket
with postcards depicting artworks
by major figures in art history.
So he's sort of a cover artist.
Yeah, he's kind of like the fat,
he's the fat Jewish of,
Yeah, he's a collector.
An amalgamator of other people's art.
At the Musee Picasso, Musee Picasso,
the jacket was filled with postcards
purchased at flea markets, hell yeah.
Yeah, baby.
And museum shops, all with images of Picasso's work.
The jacket appeared next to a black and white photograph
of Picasso in his studio,
and was presented in Picasso à l'image.
What's the name of the exhibit, Post-Casso?
Yeah, Post-Casso. What was it, pre-Casso? Postcaso? Yeah, Postcaso Malone.
What was Joe List?
Freecaso.
Freecaso, Postcaso.
Didn't Joe List do a bit about how Picasso lived
all the way until like 1978?
Yeah, he died in like 72 or something like that.
72 or 74, so like all the things he knew,
you keep thinking of him as someone from like
a century ago. 1700, no.
He lived until 1974.
He definitely saw a black and white or a colored.
When the museum told me that the artwork had been stolen,
I was surprised, but it was impossible to envision
the story that followed Villanova told Artnet News.
But Villanova disputes this.
I've always exhibited this artwork in the same way
in other museums without any problem. Sure, sure. As there were security guards that guaranteed its safety.
Other museums insured the artwork. If I had been aware of the risk of theft at the Musee
Picasso I would have never exhibited it. He said adding that the 150 postcards were also
destroyed by the culprit. I was about to say were they because if we're encouraging people
to take the postcards. She took every postcard in there and then just threw them away
I'm not advocating for anybody to steal any artwork. I think it's terrible good good good place to be on that said that being said
You did not make these postcards. You did not spend years and years
Crafting this right you got to go to flea Right, you went to flea markets and bought other postcards.
And jammed them in an H&M suit,
or the suit that they give you at a stuffy steakhouse,
when they're like, you can't wear flip-flops here, sir.
Get the jacket out from the back.
I've had to do that before.
You've had to do that?
Yes, I was always way too big.
It didn't smell, but it just was like,
that one part of it was just too big.
I was like, this sleeve is too long.
And shoulder pads were huge.
But there's something, anytime they make you wear
a life vest, if you've ever gone canoeing or brewing
or whatever it is, they're just like, here,
wear this life vest.
You're like, this smells like a thousand
of the sweatiest dads ever.
Ever.
Ever.
I'm gonna be in this all day.
This smells like depression.
Yeah.
Yeah, so. The theft raises questions about me say Picasso security system
However, the museum told artnet news it proposed to the artist to secure the jacket on a coat hanging system
Which would have prevented it from being unhooked off the wall
Mounted it to the wall without yeah, an easy little other way. That's where I get all my news is artnet news
easy little. That's where I get all my news is art net news. I have an alert. Yeah. This option was not chosen by the artist because they because the public could not have manipulated
the work easily. He wanted people to be able to handle not just the postcards but the jacket
too. Well they handled it. Yeah they handled it. Due to the nature of Villanova's piece.
It was not insurable for risk of theft. The museum said the artist was aware of the risk
of the object being stolen.
Get another blue blazer, buy another bunch of postcards,
stuff it in and no one's gonna give a shit.
Take one trip to the flea market.
Nobody will care at all.
We're gonna wrap it up.
Based in Brussels, Villanova describes his method
of working as quote.
Stealing other people's shit.
Flea market studio practice.
Buddy, get in line.
Get in line. That get my life how are
you in a museum how I'm like how are you longs in a museum for someone to take
this makes me question I need to walk out with no security no they were like
we have security guards are like that woman's just walking out with a jacket
no problem security I didn't even know that that was an exhibit they're like
that's yeah like that's our joke when we would go
to like museums right now, we'd go and look at the exit sign.
At the exit sign are like a man's ribs.
Like this is unbelievable.
And we talked about it as like it's so real.
It's got braille.
It's making me think, yeah, it's like raised up.
It's making me, don't touch it.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This is so fast.
Okay, we will get out of here on this.
How old is the woman who Oh who stole the jacket?
We go in young and dumb we young and old and on a witty I go old I go
Pensioner okay, okay, so how old?
65 I said 23 among the jury 48 48
The end of story one will conclude with this the woman
The end of story one will conclude with this. The woman who took all the postcards by means of a jacket
then got rid of all those postcards.
Just felt like it was okay for her to just take art
off the walls of a museum.
Literally went back to that museum.
Season ticket holder.
Which has one less thing for her to see
because she took it.
She took it.
She removed it.
Where did that go?
Is 72 years.
Oh!
That's what she's talking about, Luke.
You should know about her, old lady.
You know what, gal, you were on it.
Well, we're going to take a quick break.
When we come back, we'll find about Luke Knoll's new special.
Very excited about it.
It's Pretty Songs, Dirty Words.
Am I right? There you go.
And Daniel will tell you what he's got going on.
It's Dumb People Town with Luke Knoll.
We'll be right back.
Rip it and rip it.
Yeah, baby.
Hey guys, welcome back to the show before we get into Luke Knoll and his new special.
And we will.
It's Pretty Songs and Dirty Words.
Not Ann.
Pretty Songs and Dirty Words.
Yeah, there's a comma.
Daniel, tell people where they can find you and see your special rose gold up over a hundred thousand very
excited.
I'm watching that right now. If you haven't, if you want to see me live, go to Daniel van
Kirk dot com. I'm going to be in Providence, Rhode Island, the 20th and 21st of March.
Then the next weekend on the 20th and 29th of March, I'll be at Denver comedy underground
and then Milwaukee at the laughing tap on April 11th and 12th.
May 23rd, Janesville at the Comedy Cabin.
And then Louisville, Planet of the Apes,
May 30th, 30th, Planet of the Tapes.
I'm sorry, thank you.
I love that club.
It'll be my third time there.
First time doing a full weekend.
I've always done where I'm on tour,
doing one night here, one night there.
So it'll be great to be there for the weekend.
That's the 30th and 31st of May,
Planet of the Tapes in Louisville.
Dan, are you gonna go to the Muhammad Ali Center?
I didn't know that was the- Or the KFC Yum Center? You should be Yum Center. You should at plan to the tan are you gonna go to the Muhammad Ali Center? I didn't know that was the KFC Yum Center
You have a young center also go to I will do Louisville slugger. I've done that you go down the base
Place I've the two times I've been to Louisville. Well, I guess I've been there three but two of the times I've been there
I've gone to
Buffalo Trace and I will probably go do that again, especially if you did say it right too because you know Louisville people
Yeah, I learned I learned the more you swallow it
Trying to get a date for the Worcester as well the Worcester people and the little people have gotten even the Boise people
Boise think of it as Bo Y hyphen s ee that's
Like Boise yeah, it's boy see
Everything's up at Daniel van Kirk dot com. I would love to see you speaking of seeing someone
No, amazing live. We got a chance to work with him down at Houston so much fun Just a blast and just incredible and the special best time cuz that was during
The championship and that we were down in Houston with a audience exclusively of the drunkest Big Blue Michigan fans.
They were not a great comedy audience, let's be honest.
But we had fun.
We had a great time because if a bit
that required any level of like,
follow me for one millisecond, they weren't gonna do it.
But you could immediately win them back
when your bit didn't quite get what you wanted
by just going go big blue
Crazy and I'm like, alright, that's gonna be good. It's gonna be you were fantastic
But you have a new special called a pretty songs dirty words coming out on March 25th
That's right
Everybody can see it on the 25th on YouTube YouTube go on there leave a mean comment because that boosts it in the algorithm
Does it really? Yeah, yeah anger goes farther than got it. And I want you guys have a problem
with it and I want you to express that. I want you to make an account. Thumbs up and
thumbs up the video but then make a super mean guy. I'd be like heard about this on
dump people. Yeah. What's this guy? Yeah. I shouldn't be playing guitar or doing comedy.
Here's the thing. I've heard it before, I'll hear it again.
There you go.
So I wanna juice that, juice those comments.
Where'd you record it?
I did it at Dynasty Typewriter.
Oh beautiful.
One of my very favorite places in LA,
oh my goodness gracious, really good popcorn.
Yep, great popcorn and great venue.
Really, really cool.
And it looks beautiful.
Ryan Sickler's last special that he did there
was something amazing.
Yeah, it's true.
I went all out, y'all, I did.
I cashed in a lot of favors. I got Wayne Brady comes and improvises a song with me
Had to edit that part down because they said you can't just leave in Wayne being so so funny
And you laughing at what Wayne says that's you have to contribute at something
I had so so funny is just the two seconds where I'm funny, too
Okay, I have a to pock hologram of myself that yes
I really go all out. I called in all the favors. I did I got a full band song. Oh my god
25th pretty songs dirty words. That's amazing. And then you're touring around doing some you just on the road all fab
Where can people catch all your dates man? Oh, man, just go to friggin Luke andutonold.com or hit me on the gram, I'm blasting it out on there.
But I'm doing a plan of the tapes this summer,
I'm doing some Denver, I'm hitting it up,
I'm all over the place.
Just the joy of an evening to come and catch.
It is so fun and funny.
And stream of consciousness and brilliant,
and unlike anything else that exists.
It's remarkable.
It's remarkable.
It's like how you riff,
cause Randy and I have a lot of questions.
We're like, how much of this is written,
because it feels super written,
because there are a ton of jokes,
and how much are you just kind of feeling and going?
It's your ability to create a song
with a really beautiful voice that is hilarious,
is just beyond me.
It's all too kind to take.
I'm a dumb ass.
Right.
And I, anyone who plays music will go I know
he's just looping chords and regular people don't know that's right we don't
know us don't know I have a hoot up there and I I love watching you guys to
just anybody who has a like a style and a cadence different than what my how my
brain works right it's fun to watch this This is different from us too. Same, same, same.
All right, I'm gonna jump into this story.
You ready?
Sent in by David Johnson at D. Johnson 1661.
You ready for this?
That's when he was born?
Yeah, exactly.
Set this in.
No, it's a new Taylor Sheridan show.
Oh yeah, 1661.
What?
They just keep going back
until there's no one living in Montana.
This father shared and file this whole story.
Yellow Stone Age.
Yeah.
Pretty good.
That was pretty good.
File this under, I can't believe this doesn't have more.
Okay.
That's what I'm gonna file this under.
Woman arrested at Indiana Applebee's
after argument over all you can eat deal.
Yup.
How is that not happening all over?
How do you not have a sign. Indiana Apple. My upbringing
has me at this part. Who you mad at now on her side on her. I'm saying my own upbringing.
All you can eat Applebee's in the Midwest so far. Let him know other details. Cook.
Look, cook. Let him cook. No other details too. I'm on her side so far until we go over
the point where it's like, are you eating it all? That's right. Okay.
Because there's like the guys at the things that will like grab all the lobsters and they're
like, no, you can't do that.
Can't do that. Well, so the other thing is John Panet, who's one of the so funny recipe
recipes did a incredibly racist by today's standards, imitation of him showing up at
a Chinese or you can eat buffet. But also, if he didn't do the voice.
This is my thing, guys, because I have a bit right now
where I have to do the voice.
And I've started doing a bit before that bit
where I say, can we start doing two things?
And both these have to be true.
What do we know about the person doing this dialect?
And what are they
saying in the dialect? So if I'm saying something disparaging about people who sound like the
voice that I'm making, shut up. If I'm just trying to paint the, and you guys know I'm
a storyteller, if I'm trying to paint the truest photo of what they say.
Are you not going to do the Boston guy, his accent, when he's telling you you can park
the car? Can I tell you what it is
Really?
I go to a Chinese ex-wife I
Go to a Thai restaurant that I've never been to before sure they do not know me. We are not friends
I'm not a regular and we don't have a massage parlor to I wish we don't have a rapport
Okay, unhappy ending I then order and I do not think this is insane. I gotta pause the bit do it. Yes, I just want
Him to cut in with the moat like do the eyes do the war absolutely like tasteless
Where he goes, can we just pump the brakes that there's a way to do it?
That's not racist and he does just 10 out of 10 the most possible. He's like a Bobby Lee
I
Look like Mickey Rooney all of a sudden.
Just the most brutal.
You're like, oh.
He puts in like buck teeth.
Yeah.
Horrible.
That's horrible.
That's horrible.
Horrible.
That bad.
But that isn't funny if you don't hear what she says.
I order chicken satay.
Sure.
Fine.
I'm going to see if you can do this bit without doing
her accent.
Wait, so now you want me to do it without?
No, I want to hear both.
No, I want you to do it.
But in my brain, I'm going to listen to be like, and I would welcome from
the three of you. Can you do this? I order chicken satay. Sure. I order pineapple fried
rice. Uh huh. Sure. Great. And I order a pod tie. Sure. All good. Not right. You order a Tide Pod? She goes... Pod Tide. She goes, you having a party?
Hold on.
I go, what?
A party?
And I go, oh, I'm just ordering the food.
She goes, enough for three people!
And then she points down at the thing she just wrote down and said, enough for three
people.
I was mortified.
And then I go on and
end of the bit and everything like that. You might do her voice because she's being
a bully to you. She's being a bully to you.
Yes. And I'm not saying she goes.
She's ordered. But what if you just said it this way, she looked at me and she said in
a tie like in a heavy tie, sex accident, are you having a party?
Sure. You could say it that way and I was like a
what? She's like a party.
And I was like, no, it's just for me.
She's like, it's just for me.
And you're eating enough for three people.
Yeah, fair, maybe.
You might be able to do it.
I think he's gotta do the voice.
But I don't want it to be ruled out
because in this scenario, I am in no way saying
anything disparaging.
And I don't think that the joke hinges on it
being in the accent
It is more just this is what I heard. Yes
There is something funny about
Somebody who very clearly English is not their first language who is flat-out bullying
She's like how many forks do you need? And I then I panicked because
I feel so ashamed. I was like for. For the party. I was like yeah they all they're coming.
They all made me come get you to go. I'm like yeah they all made me to lie about some part
I made a whole thing with having a pot because I felt so ashamed. I were having a party. All
right. One was arrested in Applebee's restaurant in Portage, Indiana.
You ever been to Portage, Indiana?
Yes, of course.
I have friends from Portage, Indiana.
It is essentially a South Chicago suburb.
Okay.
No, it's a-
Oh, Northern Indiana.
We were in Portage.
Yes, it's right up by the city.
We were in Portage.
There's like a whole train-like depot.
Sure, yeah.
Okay.
Indiana, earlier this month, after an argument occurred about an all-you-can-eat deal offered by
the company, the woman, and we'll talk about her age
later, was arrested and charged with disorderly
conduct according to a arrest report obtained by USA
Today. According to the arrest report. I think it
looks right, about what happened. Yeah. Officers
with the Portage Police Department were dispatched
to the Applebee's located at 6211 US Highway 6,
around what time on August 2nd?
6 p.m. I thought you were going to ask about the age of the lady again and I was going to say same lady 72.
I remember correctly this is a Thursday.
You're having a party?
I'm having a party.
Thursday and she's arguing.
Yeah.
I'm going to go, what did you say?
6 p.m.
That's a really good idea.
You knew it was a Thursday
because your birthday is two days later,
three days later.
Three days later, yeah.
And this is the point that she's being kicked out.
Right, right.
This is when the police were called.
After a verbal disturbance.
Okay, yeah, I'm gonna go 9.30 p.m.
9.30 p.m.
You said six, what do you think?
Hit me with an early window.
Hit me with a lunch problem
where culminating in a three p.m.
We've been drinking. We've been drinking all morning.
All right, fine, get your answers in,
because this happened around 8,
just say around, around 8.38 p.m.
Don't say around 8.38.
Don't say around.
It's 8.38 or it's around 8.30.
Yeah, like you idiots.
Don't say or just before 9.
Just because they were like,
we were gonna miss the seconds.
Around 845, around 845 I would tell you that,
around a quarter to nine.
Police dispatchers advised responding officers
that they heard quote, multiple females screaming
and threatening people.
One of the responding officers wrote in the report.
So this is like what you're walking into.
Lots of people screaming and threatening at Applebee's.
And this is like in the neighborhood here.
And this is supposed to be a fun place, right?
Applebee's is chill.
And remember, this is when it is not
your locally owned restaurant.
The people who are there do not have enough authority.
They're mid-level management.
That's the highest person in the restaurant.
So officers arrive on the scene,
and they were immediately met outside by multiple adults,
including the women who said they had been involved
in a verbal altercation.
They're trying to get in front of it.
They're trying to get out of it.
We got into it!
Oh, thank God you're here.
Oh, thank God you're here.
Thank you for coming.
Yeah, you mean the people?
This is like tech companies.
You'll be on our side.
You want to be first to market.
But I also love, here's another story
that is in this article that you could click to.
I didn't, but I just am gonna read this headline.
Please.
It's like, if you're enjoying this,
you will love this one.
Oh yeah, you read this, so you're definitely gonna love it.
Stolen chicken wings.
Kansas City Chiefs player offers to cover $1.5 million
in stolen chicken wings to free woman.
Okay. That's another story. Love that. Over a million dollars in stolen chicken wings to free woman. Okay.
That's another story.
Love that.
Over a million dollars of stolen chicken wings.
So we're talking a deep freeze.
You can't, a million dollars in chicken wings.
Right now.
And we're, I mean, we're all trying to lose weight.
But I have, and I haven't eaten all day.
Haven't eaten all day.
You look great.
You look like you've lost some weight.
Thanks, you guys.
I'm the fattest I've been in three series.
Are you serious?
I'm trying to be on my way down.
I'm with you guys.
You look great, dude.
Are you gonna ask us how many wings we can eat right now?
How many?
And would you mix this?
How many wings?
Bones or flats?
I say drumsticks instead of flats.
Oh, I like drumsticks all day.
How many could you eat right now?
20 tops, and I'll feel sick.
Okay, can we talk really fast?
Yeah, yeah.
About the fact that we're just doing drums.
Just doing drums.
Just doing drums.
At a spice level that you can, is not gonna.
Yeah, it's not off the charts.
Now there are like, there are places where you'll go to like
your random Ma and Pa joint where you're like,
this one, or like, I ordered the wing stop wings,
we're like, what chicken is this?
I know, just, yeah.
A normal amount of wing.
Right, right.
I could top out yeah
Man I could top out I bet I could do like 24 two sets of 12 to 12 to sell strong easily
64 wings
He's in college and
I could do 40. Jason's thinking he's in college and the chicken nuggets. Nope. I could easily do 64. Easily. Cause I have a problem.
Jay and I were at the improv and they're like, you guys want some wings?
No. Jay and I were at the improv. They're like,
you guys want some boneless wings? Boneless wings?
We housed so many. Boneless wings is different.
That's chicken nuggets. Yeah. That's fancy nugs.
And then there's like, if you ever made the mistake of ordering Domino's pizza wings,
the wings are like the micro machines. And you're like, what are these chickens that you guys,
these are veal chickens.
These are chicks that you are murdering.
Jay, I love you, I don't think you could eat 32 wings.
Dan, I can easily eat 64.
The group?
And if you wanna fight me,
and if you wanna challenge me to that,
I will easily do it.
The group thought all you.
How much meat are you leaving on these?
Cause there's people who throw,
you see their discards and you're like, baby doll.
All drums, I could eat 64.
So by the way, so now this is,
Dan, let's do it one of these days and I'll do it.
This is really, this is gonna now,
now we'll see if you're on their side.
Okay.
The group thought all you can eat, 15.99 deal
covered everyone at the table.
That's horrible.
It does not.
That's horrible.
One person, all you can eat, that's the rules. No longer on my third side. It does not. That's one person.
All you can eat. That's the rules. No longer on my side. All of you can eat. No, everyone
can eat. So once one person ordered it and we'll all just go up as much as we want. So
what you do is once you see other people eating off that, you charge everyone 59 and one in?
Well, and you go up to them and go, Hey guys, just so you know, and maybe you didn't understand,
I just saw a couple people
eating this, we do have to charge each person who consumes
the order.
And if they go, oh, we're not doing it,
they'll be like, all right, cool, just don't have any more.
Maybe you didn't know, whatever reason.
Now you know.
Just so you know, I won't even have to come over.
If I see you guys doing it again, I'll just charge you.
I'm just going to charge it, yeah.
According to the rest board, the group
was under the impression that if one person at the table
ordered all you can eat, it was good for the entire table.
That's wild. Who is under that impression. These aren't appetizers
According to under that logic if I if we're all in a car and I'm going
25 over the limit according to the chain all you can eat deal in question is one that offers endless boneless wings now
I'm watering mouth is watering riblets and double crunch shrimp
This is all part of the package. I'm a single crunch shrimp.
Served with endless fries for $15.99 per person.
The whole point of that is like,
a regular person can't handle so much of it
that it's gonna be terrible.
When the manager informed the table
that it was not the case,
each person would have to pay $15.99 for the deal.
Sir, words were exchanged.
Quote unquote. According for the deal. Sir, words were exchanged. Yup. Quote unquote.
According to the arrest report,
the group told...
F no, bitch.
I think were the words that were exchanged.
If you're going up to a table who's already done this,
and you've seen them in your restaurant
for a minimum of 35 minutes,
just on the phone, nine one,
and then walk over there.
And then just have it ready.
Hold it up.
I'm already, I know.
Hold it up, nine one. The group told the policeman that the manager became, quote,
very unprofessional towards them. That might be true. Nowhere on the menu did it state
that the deal was per person. So now they're lawyers. Now these guys are lawyers. But it
actually does because the word you is singular. Thank you. Right. The responding officer said
that in the restaurant that the woman used, the that handed him a menu like you know she's like trying to litigate
this thing right which showed the words per person underneath in bold lettering. So you
can't say that anywhere. It does not say they are having kangaroo Applebee's court. I'd
like to enter into evidence exhibit a your honor.
There's one guy over at the bar being like, I'm the judge. They gave us the apps and Zerts
little inlaid menu motion to strike motion to get rid of the way you just said, no, I
want to strike my kids. I get motion to order a Pazuki for the table. All Pazuki's all day
underneath. They didn't even have no blooming onions. That's a different restaurant.
That is a completely.
The officer said he showed the group
and while doing so, a couple was walking out
of the restaurant.
Woman also engaged in an argument with that couple.
Yeah, you don't do that.
She's now.
You're not helping.
Don't chime in.
You know they're walking out and be like, they did it.
Yeah.
Bitch.
You're gonna walk out on us?
No, man, as the couple exited the restaurant, words were exchanged again and the woman became they did it. Yeah. Bitch. You're going to walk out on us? As the couple exited the restaurant,
words were exchanged again, and the woman became very loud
and disorderly, attracting the attention of other patrons
according to the report.
Officer wrote in the report that he warned the woman
about disorderly conduct and that another person
in the group tried to quiet her but was unable.
You know, it was like, Sherry, don't do it.
Oh, no, they're not going to walk out here
and say that I did this.
Sherry, we are going to get in trouble. I thought it was all for you
You bet Sherry fire you in the crib and try to quite her unable at one point
The person tried to place her hand over the woman's mouth in another attempt to quiet her
Childlike behavior it's over at that point once you're having to physically cover someone's mouth
And you're on their side, it's over.
You better be in a Will Ferrell sketch.
Shut your fuck up.
Just shut up.
Just shut up.
Just shut your fucking mouth.
Woman arrested, bill paid once misunderstanding
was cleared up, the woman was then placed under arrest
and then transported to the Porter County jail.
Another person in the group went back in the restaurant
and paid the bill in full after realizing the menu said all you can eat was every deal per person.
I love that someone immediately switched energy when they were proving wrong.
They went, oh, it's on the menu?
Oh, they got us.
Thank you.
We gotta pay.
But too little too late a little bit.
A little too late.
Could you imagine being in like the drunk tank with...
Oh, God.
And then like that...
What'd you do?
Yeah, yeah. It didn't say per person. What'd you do? Yeah. Yeah. I didn't
say per person. I didn't say per person. Okay. I ate unlimited double crunch shrimp. We tried
to get a double crunch shrimp. Alright. We're gonna get out of here on this and then we
have one more story. I think Jay it's you. Yeah it's me. Um the last story right here.
Uh hey I'm gonna pass it here. How old is the woman the per the woman who got arrested for this Applebee's scam of epic proportions? Do we know is she the
hand over the mouth person or that was somebody else? We don't know. She's the woman
who's who was arrested. Hand of God. Someone try to put a hand over her. Someone try to
silence her mouth. How old is she? I'm getting called to a 43. I like that
guess. That is that is the number that's right. I'm going to go 47. 47. Okay,
Jay, what do you think? 33. Okay, get your answers in townies. When we come back, we'll tell you what
we have going on. Who knows with us? The all you can handle, all you can eat woman. Pretty songs.
Dirty words. I'm sure this woman was trying to she's singing like a bird and saying dirty words.
Reaching. This woman was at Applebee's trying to scam it out
for everybody to get the all it can eat.
28 years old.
Yikes!
I was close, 33.
All right, when we come back,
we got a little misplaced anger
and maybe we'll get Luke to play a little guitar along.
Yeah, let's do that.
It's Dumb People Town with Luke Knoll.
We'll be right back.
Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Stick around, make a sound. back.
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Seaside, but the lead-up. Stick around, make a sound, there's more to People Town.
Alright guys, welcome back to the show. Before we jump in, and Luke's got the guitar, I'm so excited.
If you're watching, you'll see it. Beautiful Martin guitar.
Gorgeous. Dirty in the Light.
Is this the guitar you played in your latest special, which is out on March 25th?
That is true. This is the baby!
And his next special is called Dirty in the Light.
Dirty songs, pretty words. That is true. This is the baby and his next special is called dirty in the light dirty songs
Pretty words pretty songs dirty. I mean the one after this one is gonna be called dirty in the light dirty in the light
Hey, we got some stuff coming up to we're going to be yeah
And if this comes up before our stuff comes from slugs that come for all of our dates
We're gonna be oh we found out when our night court episodes are gonna be airing on
April 28th very excited about that, but we've got
episodes are gonna be airing on April 28th. Very excited about that.
But we've got lots of good stuff coming.
I don't know if this drops around this time,
but Minneapolis 20th through the 22nd.
We're gonna be in Denver at Comedy Works,
the third through the fifth.
We just added a date that we're going to do this.
Cancer Benefit at the Rialto in Raleigh,
North Carolina, our buddy Hayes Premier.
Premier, I love him, he's running that theater. That's on the 16th of April and then we go to Moon Tower and then we got it
We're doing a really cool theater in ever an old historic Everett, Washington
That's just north of Seattle may say this big theater. So all that stuff
We should look out for a little run of your your guys's two-man show
We're gonna pick a two-man show will pick a, and then we're gonna do that maybe summer or fall.
Yeah, and we'll do like a month of it.
So you got like 30 chances to catch it.
Superskulleyes.com for all that stuff.
Jay, let's jump into this final story.
Here's the little play.
Before we jump all the way in,
I wanted to put one little addendum on the last story.
And that's. Do it.
I was very much so guilty as a teen
when we would go to the movies,
we would just go to Steak and Shake after the fact.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we would order the bottomless fries
and then just like 17 boys.
Of course.
All around the table paying 5.99 for one.
For one set of bottomless fries.
That's right.
And then on top of that,
I would ironically meet up with my buddies
every year at Chili's.
We have an ironic,
that turned to genuine love of Chili's and we were all
slamming
Coronerita's shout out to coronerita fans out there everywhere and
I remember we got it and we were talking about how the coronerita just using science to pour beer into your margarita
Which is what you want. That is what that's what you want
The Reese's peanut Butter Cup of drinks.
Yeah, you got Corona in my margarita.
You got margarita in my Corona.
Two great tastes that taste great together.
Yeah.
And a guy turned to us while we were drinking Corona-ritas.
Right?
We were ripping Corona-ritas.
And he was like kind of threatened
He looked over to us and he just said this is kind of my chilies
We were like we love this guy. Yeah, that's right. God damn right it is and we are sorry that we are in your house
Ripping Corona Rita's. For some reason you just saying this is kind of my chilies invoked the now you can't leave scene from a Bronx tale. Yeah, he shuts locks the door behind.
Yeah, they felt like we were being disrespectful to the Corona Rita in his house.
And that's not the way we drink them son.
We want them over though.
Yeah, we were more of an El Nino guy.
That man was Chilli Davis.
That man was Chilli Davis.
Chilli Davis.
Jump in.
Here we go.
This was sent in by Sean Anderson at Sean 70.
Woman discovers she's vandalized the wrong car
after attempting to get back at her ex-boyfriend.
Yeah!
You gotta look an idiot.
You gotta be really, you gotta verify.
You gotta know.
Before you vandalize.
I dug my key into the side of that neighbor's little soup
tub four-wheel drive Found out it wasn't his at all
I've been called my insurance and put in a claim
And they said well it would have been we would have covered it if it was your boyfriend's car
You gotta work these things out first. Let me just check your angry ex policy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got it.
Come on.
I took a small umbrella to his wheels.
I had gap coverage it didn't help.
All right.
A Florida woman has left one neighbor disgruntled after mistakenly spray painting their car
while trying to get back at her ex-wife.
I mean, giant penis on the side.
Neighbor, you don't see your neighbor's car daily?
You dummy.
Yeah, unless they have, do they have the same make and model?
Maybe, all right, here we go.
Deputies responded.
Didn't you get in the wrong car once?
Yeah.
With your mom and your daughter?
Oh, wait, the other day.
Didn't you walk all the way through a parking lot,
sit down, get in the car, and go, this isn't my car?
Yeah, I was like, in the car? in the car and go this isn't my yeah
I was like you're in the car in the car. So I don't know
Left it open. I had like a gray
Georgia and your mom my mom no me and Daisy and my mom and
We were like on Larchmont and the cars that are there there are parking spaces like just right up to the stores
Yeah, but an angle and I parked my across the street
and we went across the street
and we were just doing a bunch of things
and then we came back and I came back
and I saw the car where I had thought that I parked it.
Two spaces over the exact same car I had parked.
And I opened the doors, opened the doors and got in
and there's like a water bottle in there
that like I did not recognize.
Still tried to turn the car on. I'm like, who put this water bottle in there that like I did not recognize. Still tried to turn the car on.
I'm like, who put this water bottle in my car?
And then I was like, oh shit, we're all in the car.
All of us have like gotten in someone else's car,
which feels very like violating.
It's not my house.
Decked out with Back the Blue stickers.
No, yeah.
In blue line.
I know, the best was the other day.
This is how recent, yesterday wasn't it?
Did we get back yesterday from Minneapolis?
We get off the plane, I have to go to the bathroom,
and we just have carry on, like rolling away luggage.
Randy's standing with my bag, and I'm like, I gotta go.
He's like, I don't, so watch my bag.
I go in, I come out of the bathroom
to where Randy was standing before,
and there is a bag there that looks like go in, I come out of the bathroom to where Randy was standing before,
and there is a bag there that looks like mine.
Randy has moved to the center.
I just grab the bag and start wheeling it.
And the guy's like, hey.
And I'm like, hey yourself.
And he's like, that's my bag.
And I'm like, oh shit, it is your bag.
That and we're getting off the same plane back to LA
and there was a nun sitting in on the,
Jay's on the aisle and there's a nun on the window
of his aisle and she's like,
hey, can you take that, can you bring down my bag?
Can you help me bring my bag down?
And we're like, sure, what have you ever done for anyone?
Yeah, I was like, sure, of course.
So we bring our bag down and I'm like,
oh, this is heavy, what do you got?
The expensive drugs in here?
Clat, like, good laughs, good laughs, classic. And I was like, we'll take it to the, do you
want us to wheel it up to the front for you and whatnot? And I'll take his other bag.
So Jay's like, I'll wheel that bag up to the front for you. And, and I thought Jay was
gonna wait up there off the jet, like right off the plane, just wait and hand with the
bag. Yeah. This is what Jay does. Jay, no, the woman behind me took it. She said, I'll take
it. Oh, yeah. I thought it was you. No, no. She took it. I thought it was Jay who just
took it and just left it by the cockpit. It's just sitting there. And I'm like, it's a generic
black bag with like maybe an orange and I was like, the woman behind the end of the
jetway. I'm like, what the, what are you doing? The woman behind me said,
I will take care of this and give it to her.
She literally just dropped it off and then left.
And I said to the crew, I'm like, is this someone's bag?
And they're like, I don't know.
And then I said, and the nun started walking off without it.
And I was like, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am,
this is your bag right here.
And she's like, you unzip it to check
and see what's in there, it's just filled with holy water.
Just tons of holy water.
How many bags did you come with?
And she's like, none.
How many bags did you leave with?
None.
Deputies responded to a vandalism call
about a young woman spray painting the wrong car.
She thought it was her ex-vehicle in Deltona.
Deltona sounds like a combination of Daytona and a
Look straight ahead.
Look straight ahead.
That's the car.
That's the car.
Oh, man. Deltona and Jason. Oh, that's the car. That's the car. Oh man.
This will be up on YouTube.
Dell, Tona and Jason.
Wait, it says Jason.
Yeah, way to go, Jay.
It says Jason Devil.
Jason, oh my God.
26, the Louisa Sheriff's Office stated
in a news release shared on Facebook, of course, right?
She's full.
Photo accompanying the news release
shows the vandalized car covered
in bright yellow spray paint.
Oh my God.
What is that, which car is that?
Can we tell?
That's an Infiniti.
We're not gonna tell you how old.
What's the smiley faces?
Oh my God.
Evelina Fabianski.
Evelina Fabianski.
That's a dealt Pona name right there.
Or a pulp fiction name.
Evelina Fabianski, per local news outlet.
Wasn't that like Bruce Willis's buddies?
Right, was joined, Butch is at the scene
by two years younger than her female accomplice,
Corndon Police, they were both arrested and charged.
So you know the friend was like,
two days is the greatest day of ever.
Okay, responding deputies spotted two
female subjects in the area
We're not gonna say their ages one of whom we had yellow spray paint on her sweat. Yeah
Who me I didn't do it. How do you know?
That's a lipstick on the collar when questioned she admitted she was upset with her ex-boyfriend
So she and her friend decided to spray paint and throw eggs at what they thought was her vehicle.
Oh, my God. You can't do this.
You can't be 60% sure we're doing this to the right car.
What? Just two eggs?
I was about to say, pick eggs or spray paint.
Eggs is cleaner.
The price of eggs these days is just wasteful,
but I mean, come on.
She really loved eggs.
Yeah, I've been making scrambled spray paint.
That's right.
For my ex.
A lot of protein, a lot of protein.
The owner of the vandalized car told police
he returned home around what time?
And parked his car across the street from his home.
He returned at 8.45.
No, he returned and parked his car, so his car's fine.
Oh, I thought you said the owner of the vandalized car.
I'm sorry, the owner of the vandalized car
told police he returned home around what time, local local time parked his car across the street from his
home. I parked across the street from him at eight. Forty five. I'll go. I'll go the
cool seven fifteen. How about three PM? Oh, geez. Law and crime reported. Do you get your
news from long? There is a relevant. Yeah, but he parked it across the street. Yeah,
right. But also like it had to just be there. Right. It could be there all day. It was there when she got there.
It was there when it was dark out. I'm more curious about when the boyfriend arrives home
to see that he's dodged a bullet. Right. Oh, that was him. You know, she's all upset about
this breakup. I'd be like, you don't even know what cars mine, right? So you don't know really that in love. Are you really that mad? You don't even know what cars mine right so you don't know really that in love are you really that mad you don't even know what car I
drive right no me police recovered an empty Crown Royal bottle we sure scale
little fun fuel scale scale they're dealing and a can of yellow spray paint
at the scene and witnessed the girl driving her vehicle with two open containers of four loco in Plan B.
Two?
Two.
Well, one for the friends.
If you drink two four locos, you die.
That's right.
Two in a night is your death.
That's eight loco.
That's eight loco?
And that's too many locos.
Too many locos.
Times two.
In a video of the arrest obtained by WKMG News 6,
Fabianski is seen being put in handcuffs
and being placed in the car the other woman seen wearing red
Hoodie says I wasn't really involved in this
That was her way to throw her friend under the bus despite a policeman saying in the clip that she was covered in yellow spray
Yeah, I was involved. You should have played I got hit too. Yeah downwind. She got me. She tagged me
I'm glad you're here according According to the police. News release,
Fabianski was charged with criminal mischief,
contributing to the delinquency possession of alcohol and
drive. Good read, Jay. Well, I'm, it's gonna reveal their
anger. I mean, honestly, if you're doing this type of
stuff, you're, you might be in the minors. Yeah, hey, hey.
Uh the
vehicle damages are reported at
a cost of how much according to
law and crime which is where I
get all my. You saw you saw
that. What what kind of damage?
Oh you gotta repaint that. You
need to. That's a $6000 job. Oh
yeah. Oh that might be $8000. Oh
wait. Well we're down in
Deltona so they could do it for
4K. Yeah. 4K. Uh well two of you are $1,000 off.
Oh yeah, 5G.
$5,000.
$5,000.
That's still incredible.
Fabianski was booked into the Valuisa County Branch Jail before being released later this
afternoon on Wednesday, February 26th according to the New York Post.
I'm gonna get out of here on this.
How old is Evelina Fabianski?
And how old was her accomplice?
Are they the same age?
Two years apart.
Italian, Polish, Fabianski.
23 and 21.
I give him a microphone.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go.
I mean, I can just give him more juice.
I wanna make sure that he can still rip his eyes.
I'm gonna go with 17 and 19.
17 and 19.
That is the perfect age,
because if we're getting contributed into the age of a minor, I'm going in on a 17, 19. 17 and 19. That is the perfect age. Cause if we're getting contributed into the age of a minor,
I'm going in on a 17 and 19.
So this is a minor crime of a major,
major mistake.
Her friend was 17.
She's like 18, 19.
Minor affairs of the heart.
Why bring the scale to this crime?
I know.
Why are we bringing scales to this crime?
Or was this actually more of a mastermind situation where they knew
that the scale is inside of the neighbor's car yeah they want and they broke it didn't seem like
they broke into the car though they just sprayed it yeah they just sprayed the car i was about to
say if they broke in then i'm like maybe the scale was inside of the car it wasn't they, they B-Y-O-S'd. They brought their own scale. They brought their own scale to an eggie.
Maybe it was a food scale,
and they wanted to know how many ounces of eggs
they were throwing.
Yeah, yeah.
Like that car.
It's important to do the serving size of eggs
for this infinity.
Especially in this economy.
Serving size in this infinity.
This economy. this economy serving size and this infinity.
This economy. All right, maybe I'm going to adjust mine to 18 and 16,
just to be different.
Love it. Love it.
Okay. Get your answers in before I give our answers
as we plan out.
Please watch the special.
Pretty songs, dirty words.
It's going to be on YouTube.
You can check it out.
25th of March.
800 pound gorillas.
Yeah. Come see us live wherever you go. You can check it out. It's the March 800-pound girl is yeah
Come see us live wherever you go and one of you is exactly right. Okay, it is right
And I'm the first full all nude special on YouTube
Full-frontal nudie
That makes more sense now because I'm like only an 18 year old and a 16 year old
would slam a bottle of Crown Royal and then crack open two for logos.
And one of them probably said all I know is his car is black.
Alright you guys that is the show.
Love you, Luke.
Love you, Daniel.
Thank you for having us, Cora.
And go snap.
We gotta get back to work.
Stick around, make a sound.
There's more at The People's Town.