Dumb People Town - Orny Adams - Hike Guru

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

Comedian Orny Adams (Podcast & Tour Dates) stops by as Daniel describes how a man got banned from all National Parks for organizing a group hike, Randy explains why a Salem man was arrested for jumping on the back of a firetruck, and Jason warns against returning a used car violently, and so much more!

Dan and Rand and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose We'll make the news breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half price bail I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast jam with co-hosts Arm and Dan. And don't be a jerk, because when the music gets the funny hits, we are gonna take you down.

Stick around, make a sound, Bunker Down is Dumb People Town. Hey, Taddies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population, you. Population, Adams. Ornie Adams. Welcome to the show Welcome. We said this is gonna happen. We made it happen. You're here. I'm so happy you're here I feel like this show is

Genetically engineered for all the things that you do the stupid behavior that exists in this world You love to just grip it apart rip it to shreds and that is what you do not suffer fools No, I you know what I said last week on stage? Let's hear it. Just off the cuff, I was just talking about all these stupid incidents I had with stupid people. Yes. It's non-stop, and I was on the third example.

And you're like, wait, I'm now 20 minutes in. Yeah. And I said, you know what? Stupid finds me. Right. Yes, you're a magnet. I'm a magnet. I don't know if this happens to other people.

No, it happens. We have three stories that are gonna find you right now. Dan, are you the first one? All right, Dan's gonna start with a story. We gotta dive in and then second, top of the second rate, we'll talk about your podcast, how people can follow and support you, what we got going on, but Dan is gonna get us going.

Am I the only one who doesn't know these stories? That wasn't given these answers? None of us. Dan's the only one who doesn't know these stories? That wasn't given the- None of us. Dan's the only one who knows his. I don't know the story he brought. We each brought a story. Oh, okay. One person. So three of us are always in the dark.

I brought a story too. You did? Yeah! We'll talk later. I just sent in by Derek the Legendary Daddy at Game Design Dude. What does he do for a living? I'm shocked that this guy's not Derek Lipkin, but okay.

Man banned from national parks for organizing large group Grand Canyon hike. Wait, he got, you can't go long. How do they, I always wanted that. Like if you get banned from like a stadium. Sure. Yeah, how do they know? That isn't the Intuit Dome, which has your face, which I went to recently and I was like, how do you know my face isn't the Intuit Dome, which has your face, which I went to recently and I was like,

how do you know my face? I literally, this was crazy. How'd they know the difference that you weren't me? Yeah, how'd they know? That's right, no, I walked, I signed up for the app. That would suck if he got you banned. From like a national park. Imagine you can't go to the Grand Canyon.

What are you doing? No, you just shaved your mustache. And the more he explained it, the less I would believe him. That's my twin brother. We're in a comedy team. They're like, sure. Get out of here. I think it's a buy one, get one.

You ban one, both gone. Both are banned. You're genetically responsible for each other. Party your DNA. Right. Well, I think like for a lot of national parks, well, not a lot, but quite a few, you have to make a reservation

to like get into the park. So if your name's on that list, once you put it in. No, you can buy a ticket at the, when you drive up. But if they sell out, I imagine you'd be good. Is there gonna be a picture at the front thing with the ring? Wanted, wanted, Ornie Adams, ban his ass. You know, I could be banned from the Joshua Tree National Park.

What did you do at the Joshua Tree National Park? This is really, you know, I should feel bad about this but I don't because I pay so much taxes in the state of California. You're like, I deserve to do this. Right. So it's like, did you burn a cactus? Did you step on a cactus blossom? No. It's like 30 bucks to go through this park. Sure. And we just wanted to drive through for like 20 minutes and say we were at the park. Right. And so I noticed what they do is they stand in front of the car and then some people they're going like this too and others just go and go over there and pay 30 bucks.

And so I noticed people were like holding up some card. So I don't know what they're holding up. So I, when I went to drive through, I held up my Costco card and she went like this. And then as I got closer she said, whoa, whoa. But too late. I'm already in the I was out. And you drove. You made a play.

And wait, you drove through? Yeah, she was already past her. That's how you exit. You exit. You pay at the exit. Hold up my Costco card. Well, we don't really know what's included in that membership. But the problem is National Park.

It's not just one. It's you get like a bulk of national. Yeah, it's a bulk of national parks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a pallet of national parks. You saw 8,000 cactuses for the price of 20. All right, a Washington state man faces probation and a multi-year ban from several United States national parks after he pled guilty to misdemeanor charges stemming from a large person group

hike. He organized in the Grand Canyon in defiance of park guidelines. So the park says you can't have- Can't bring a big group. Too big of a group. How many people are in this? We'll do it.

The National Park Service first became aware of Joseph Don Mounts. Mount is in his name. He's got Mount in the name. I saw it at Defense. You can't say I've got Mount in my name. He's mounting a defense. He's saw it at defense. You can't say I've got Mount in my name. He's mounting a defense. He's literally mounting a defense.

Not like, Don Julio, okay. But Don Mount. Joseph Don Mount. JDM. Lock him up! Yeah. On name alone. On name alone, get him out of here.

Became aware of JDM's plans in September when the Grand Canyon's permit office received a tip that a large group of people they wrote. They're on the message board. Should be were. What else do they have to do? They're just sitting there waiting and watching birds and stuff.

I mean if you're like a park enforcer. Sure. You're living for this opportunity. So and somebody guy who couldn't get into the CIA for whatever reason. Couldn't make the police. He's got scanners. He's got scanners. he's on Facebook pages, he's figuring out, he's checking all the search results.

9-11 was an inside job. Loosey-shay. That's what he says on the first day. Developing conspiracy theories. All right, so it's good. It's not just crazy that somebody called in and narted on this large group pipe. It's that the park also took it so seriously.

They have to, you gotta control, you know what I mean? Like after this podcast, people are going to be waving Costco cards. You've got to put it in. You know what I mean? It's the broken windows here. Welcome Gladwell. Stop it immediately. Stop it immediately or else it's all going out. They receive a tip that a large group of people was planning to hike the canyon on October 24th. Park rules limit group size to how many? Six. Well, we're going to guess the next one. We can guess this. Six. 20. 15. 11. That's it? 11. Park rules limit group size to 11 people on a hike. How many people? You have a big family. This is what I was going to have you guess. You shouldn't.

How many? That's the moral. This is the logic I want to get into as well. This is birth control. Here's what I wanted you guys to guess. How many? That's the moral of that story. This is the logic I wanna get into as well. Birth control. Here's what I wanted you guys to guess. How many people? One of the Mormons hiking? That's right. All my wives are coming with me. Wait, and how do they define a group?

Is it like golf? Somebody's like 20 yards behind? That's what I'm saying. How many spaces? Can we play through? Yeah, right. Can't you break into the big ones? I'm gonna force them behind these guys.

Yeah. Here's what I wanted you guys to guess. How many people do you think Don Mount was planning on bringing into the Grand Canyon for his group hike? Now, the maximum they allow is 11. 11. Oh, I think, I mean, to me, the best would be if it was 12. Okay.

But, I'm not gonna be ultimate. Bam, bam. Get them out of here. 12 life. Oh, they don't mess around. They don't mess around. Yeah. We got him as his cousin. I'm gonna say one cousin we didn't want to invite and then decided to go his wife's like you gotta invite him. He's never gonna say yes. He'll never say yes.

Who's the 12th wheel? Who's the guy that got the bannock? Cousin Jerry. Somebody they didn't want. So wait, so I- I hope this led to a divorce. The wife invited this guy. And then it does and he's like, all right, now we're down to 11.

Yeah. Papers aren't through yet, I can't even make a thing. I'm gonna say 35 people. Okay. I'm gonna say 15, like close. Or any? 200. 200 people, all close. Orny? 200. 200 people, right.

The amount of people Don Mount was planning on bringing into the Grand Canyon, 100 people. Oh, God! You're in the right way. You're in the right direction. You were on it, that's crazy. That is life banning. It's a lot of people.

He was really going like, you have to check the park with him. He was gonna screw up that mountain. Yeah. That was it, with the canyon. The canyon He was gonna screw up that mountain. That was it. The canyon, the canyon was over. So we walked down in the canyon, my wife and I one time like this years ago

before we had kids were driving here. That's also what you say when you guys get in a big fight. We walked down in the canyon. One of us was gonna come out of there. But you walk down and there's just the way the wind was blowing, there's so much donkey shit smell in the air, it like goes into your face. And so for the next day at Runyon, well it's terrible.

For the next three days you're just tasting donkey shit on your lips and so like you wanna put 100 people through that, that's what you want to happen. Come on, come on Don Mount. No I mean like think about it, if everybody did this. Yeah, you know what I mean? It'd be a nightmare. It's social media influencers. And maybe I'm tipping some elite of what happens you know what I mean? If it were a nightmare, social media influencers.

And maybe I'm tipping some elite of what happens here or what I think should happen. Carpooling, you can't go to the carpooling. They should go, you want 100 people, great. 10 groups of 10. Yes, and you guys have, you're staggered 45 minutes apart. Now you can all do that because on a technical level, you could have that happen.

Absolutely. Right? And the park makes 100%. So you just go, well, you could have that happen. Absolutely. Right? And the park makes 100%. So you just go, well, you just, somebody's, one group is gonna take off three and a half hours after the first group. Slap a crazy group fee on them. Yeah, I suspect this guy's monetizing this,

and that's the real problem. Yes, that's why. That, that, there you go. I think that might be too smart. That is 100% for them. The pseudonymous, instead of anonymous, pseudonymous. Not a pseudonym, not anonymous. Pseudonymous, okay.

Which means a fake name. Right. That you won't reveal is your name. So he's really not named Mount. No, no, no, that's the tipster. The pseudonymous tipster sent a screenshot of a post by Don Mount in a, Don might be his middle name,

in a private Facebook group noting that he had, this is what the screenshot said, 112 committed hikers coming from 12 different states and talking about the importance of taking precautions so they wouldn't draw attention to themselves. If you do anything with 112 people. You're gonna be seen. Yeah.

People are gonna be like. This is squid game. You're drawing attention seen. Yeah. People are gonna be like. This is squid game. You're drawing attention to yourself. Guys, I need your attention. I know there's 112 of us. Act like 11. So someone's in this space. Clubs.

They should've acted like Siamese twins. They should've all just. We're all conjoined. Yeah. These are conjoined births. We count as one entity. We have one heart. What's going on in the life of the pseudonymous person

who's in this group, but is like, I'm gonna take it down from the inside. Someone who's somebody who brought mountains. They're deep throaty. Did the hike happen or was this before? Here we go. Here we go. So this is like a pre thing.

Good question. Grand Canyon National Park has limited size for under the rim groups to 30 since 2014. Tell you about WNBA groups? Yep. When Mount spoke to the parks permit office however, he said he was bringing a group of 12 people. When advised that this group was slightly over the limit,

he asked about the possibility of splitting it up to comply with the parks rules and was informed that he was not allowed. So they can't split it up. Right. Which I think they should split it up. They should split up. And like you said, Dan, go, you guys gonna have a lot.

You don't get 100 people a day in the Grand Canyon? I suspect they've had problems with this guy in the past. This isn't the first run in. So it's sort of a spite hike. There's a history. As a golfer in LA, there was a big issue recently of like Korean bots would buy up all the tee times. So they would get like-

And our homes. And our homes, and our future, no, all their tee times. And you wouldn't be able to get a tee time to go play golf forever. And what, then they would just resell them? They would resell them to people on a second market. On a second market and people would pay a lot of money for them.

But you'd have to, nine days out, you couldn't in the morning be like, oh, we have time this afternoon, let's go out and let's play. Which you used to be able to do 20, 15 years ago. Wait a minute, are you telling me that the Korean bots beat the captcha? Yeah, they beat it. They were able to identify the fire hydrant.

They said they were not a robot. They saw how many bikes were in that grid picture. So now they have that. Now they have a thing that when you're trying to book a tee time you have to like say you're not a robot and go through it and and it's open things up so you can go play again. That's I think a little bit what's going on here. I think they're saying yes We probably have like a thousand slots open to climb down the mountain every day. You can't take up a tent of them Just well order out. I think already is right though. Don Montz a little bit of a shit because he said I only have 12 people Knowing it would be over. He lies is a lie. I'm just went over like we've got ten times Well, plus a hundred he's pushing boundaries, but then I do think that there's be some parents

Some logical thought of like, well yeah, I guess if you guys do break it up, we can't prevent in total 112 people coming here today if they're all in different families and vans, whatever. However, so once they said, no, we don't care about you're over the limit, you can't split it up. Mount kept planning the hike.

And park rangers who had gained access to the Facebook group continued to monitor it. You don't know who's following. How do they have time? Really? I'm shocked. This is like their recro-case. There's a fire in the canyon.

Hang on a second. I'm gonna face it. We gotta work on the donkey shit smell. But first of all, don Mountain is at it again So park Rangers infiltrate the Facebook group they continue to monitor they went as far as to call Don Mount again And warn him against hiking the canyon with an oversized group I mean all that meant that when the hike went ahead as planned the Rangers were in place and witnessed the whole thing Are they armed? They have Swiss Army knives.

They will get you with the bottle opener. Yeah. Some website called the backpacker, as backpacker, reported last night. Ass backpacker? That'd be awesome. That's a completely different site. Ass backpacker is such a great name. Amazing name. For the hiker who doesn't know what he's doing or back for him for the very specific Okay, this is a quote when the group showed up on the day of the hike Rangers were waiting some in plain clothes You know those guys were they were undercover They were undercover in like trout fishing shirts. He's got like a big camera. Yeah, with wide brim hats.

Everything's brand new. They're like, no, I'm part of it. I'm part of it. I'm with you guys. My name's Rick. You don't have to use an accent, Mark. They all met at the bath store in the parking lot. Got a $20 budget.

Look authentic. And all the tags are on because they have to return. They gotta return it. Underneath, you can see the name tags sticking through okay so the group shows up Rangers were waiting some in plain clothes National Park Service Ranger Timothy hop wrote in an affidavit hop to it he wrote in an affidavit that he saw about 50 that'd be people mingling at the North that's your problem trailhead that's your problem each can if I said that wrong. Can't be me.

Group up in groups of 10. And that a few people told him they were with the quote mount group. Oh God. You know that he's on a radio being like, I have confirmation, I have confirmation. We got the mount group together. They've mounted up, literally they've mounted up.

I'm glad they put this to an end because this feels to me like how Burning Man started. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is before it went corporate, when a hike was a hike. Oh, you guys don't understand. Just to be rebellious outside of our society. Randy's been to Burning Man.

I've been to Burning Man. He'll defend it till he dies. I love it till he dies. You should get a 100-man hike, y'all. You have? I was at Burning Man when it was Burning Man. Back in like the early 2000s? Yeah, it was before that because I was working for the Travel Channel

and I had a show called America After Dark. Oh, nice. And it was so unwidely distributed that I lived in downtown Manhattan. I had to go to uptown Manhattan to watch it on my sister's cable. Oh my God, that's terrible. Yeah.

But they sent you to Burning Man? They sent me to Burning Man. Orny, what did you think of it? Because all I hear is this crazy ass- I had fun, I loved it. I know you loved it. I loved it. I was working and unaware that the entire crew was tripping.

Right. And I was sober doing some of the most creative- It was not even on you, the lava's on the ground. Yeah, but I- Some of the most creative shots you've ever seen. Yeah, but it was really organic at the time, and I actually, you would just go over and talk to the guy who started it and other people.

My friends tell me stories who've gone forever about when it was really wild westy, which is what you're kind of describing. They'd be that this whole area, you could go out to deep, deep, deep in the corner and just shoot guns at barrels and stuff. And I mean, it was like, it seems to me like

the thought behind it was we're just going, we're escaping, everyone will take care of everyone. If you make it out there, you're not gonna go hungry, you're not gonna sleep outside, it's about art, it's about all this other stuff, it's a chance to build stuff and show it off in the desert and listen to music. There was like a barter system, it was really cool. Still is, still is. But see, I'm somewhat hypocritical because I've been to

Burning Man, but I wouldn't date a woman that's been to Burning Man. Sure, not true. Too many questions. I don't know about that. I don't know it's just, I don't want that freedom sort of like. I don't want her thinking so much. No, no she can think, but like. I don't want her that happy. It's okay to use deodorant sold in cvs You might be surprised by the person that you really like and find out that they went to burn I know if you meet someone you're like this off me and you don't know that she's burning man. No, no, no I'll tell you why never there's zero Nobody in the history of burning man had less fun

There than me. Well, that's true. I was working, I didn't do any fraud, no alcohol. You can say that about any of a number of things. You can say that about Vegas, you can say that about LA. Nobody has had less fun than you. I'm not dating somebody that says I love Vegas either. No, so here's the thing about Burning Man. There's no one who has ever been to Burning Man, including you who didn't really fully get the experience,

will ever shut the fuck up about it. So there's no way you'll find out that it's a carnival of the human spirit. But whatever. You're saying it comes out like in the first few minutes of a date or something? That's what people, they feel the need to share it with you. You'll find out about it.

All right, well back on the trailhead. People are saying they were with the mount group. Plane clothes, park rangers are getting the low down. You are as strong as your weakest link. Another ranger, Cody Allenson. Playing close park rangers are getting the you are as strong as your weakest link another Ranger Cody Allenson not Allison Allenson sure Cody Allenson said that he saw about a hundred and fifty people enter the man's in

Manzanita yeah, they use area within half an hour Yeah, and that this is where he tries to like pontificate. We're getting closer to my 200 number. We are. We are. It's creeping up. This isn't enough. He doesn't have enough juice to say what he's about to say. I love it. This Cody Allinson. He's a ranger. He said I saw 150 people enter the man man's Anita day use area within a half an hour and that in the seven months I've been on this job, I've never seen so many individuals traveling in the same direction in such a condensed period

of time and space. Whoa, seven months. Dude, you're not hardened. You're not even Nathan. You're not Danny Glover. You don't think that's tenured for these people? I've never seen anything like this in, I mean, seven months.

I mean, how long have you been here for? 30 years, seven months. I've been on the job for eight weeks. I've never seen anything like this in, I mean, seven months. I mean, how long have you been here? Seven months. For 30 years? Seven months. I've been on the job for eight weeks. I've never seen anything like this. I've got a real problem with anybody ever using that expression. I've never seen anything like this. Right.

Oh, we do that a lot too. People go, you couldn't imagine it. Yeah, you could. You couldn't write this stuff. Yeah, you could. Someone just wrote it. Someone wrote it. You can't make this stuff up.

Yes, you can. Have you not seen Loom?. Do not have an imagination. A sand snake? Come on. Cody Allenson. I realize every time I start to go into a bit or something it's like you guys already have it. No. What are you talking about?

We're laughing. I was gonna do my, I can't believe, I've never seen anything like this, you know, epic five minute closer. But you guys went into in harmony. I'm sorry. No, it means you're in the right spot. You think like we think.

Welcome home. Welcome to Dumb People Time. Okay, so Cody Allenson, who is shocked at what he's seen for the first time in seven months on this show. He hasn't seen anything like it. He said, while many hikers told Rangers that they were hiking in groups of nine or 10, a few allegedly admitted that they were hiking as part of a larger event, and rangers observed

some using radios to coordinate amongst themselves. Now they do have a Rico charge. Yeah, this is so oddly deep, but also so serious. It's greed. It's about greed. Joseph Dunmount pled guilty to violating park rules, limiting group size to 11 people on a hike. He will serve two years on probation and will be banned from entering national parks in northern Arizona, including the Grand Canyon during that time. Ryan Stevens. He should just try the other entrance.

You know, there's the north entrance. That's right, just go on the other side. Yeah. You guys don't know me over here, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see you guys in Brighton. Has this guy ever been to Burning Man? Is that mentioned in the article?

Get there, go. Look, how did you think, did you think the, when you entered Burning Man, what did you think of getting in and? They tell you to lay down in the dirt and just say you're home. Hang on a second, we're just gonna talk some Burning Man. It was fun, oh dude, it was amazing. How about it, I wanna hear about it.

I felt like I was finally seen for the first time in my life. Yeah, why the resentment? Were you supposed to go? No, my kids are too young, I can't go. Okay. Ryan Stevens, Mount's attorney, told the Associated Press that his client had only good intentions in organizing the event.

Still planning. He makes money. Hey, I agree with you. Okay, in court, in the court, government, in the, this is weirdly written, in court, the government identified the it's this is a weird the written in court the government identified the size of the group the final number to be I don't count I wanted to be Orneys know how many people I think now we know that he planned on a hundred hundred and one of these Rangers I want him to be right one

of these Rangers said they thought they saw 150 but we also remember these guys are in plain clothes and this is the biggest day of their life. They've never seen anything like this. Serious question, any drones involved in this? I don't know. Jersey drones? Are we gonna now talk drones? Uh. Jersey drones, one of my favorite punk bands.

By the way, their sandwiches are great. Jersey drones, amazing. Everything is delivered. Yeah. They drop it from up above. Jersey drones. How close are we to Uber eat drones? Very, very, very close.

You don't have to tip anyone. You just drop it on your porch. I think a hundred. They'll guilt you into tipping the person that made the sandwich. The drone will hang out over your house and threaten you until you're like 18%. I mean someone does need to fly it there. I would say 170 people. That by the way was one of my favorite sketches in the Kroll show. until you're like 18%. I mean someone does need to fly it there. I would say 170 people.

170. That by the way was one of my favorite sketches in the Kroll show. The current Top Gun and it's just a bunch of guys in like an office cubicle like with drones. Brilliant. Anyway, how many? I said 170.

Are you gonna stick with your 200? I have to. I think you have to. I'm gonna say 150. Okay. Total number of people who did this hike and got Don Mount... Banned. Banned for two years. Randall, I'll have story number two. I will tell you what I'm up to, but I can tell you this.

The number is... 139. Oh, that was close. That felt good. Wow. Not bad. Alright, I guess we're number two. Never in seven months have they seen anything like this. Can we also admit, a little impressive? Yeah. I mean, to get. Never in seven months have they seen anything like this. Can we also admit, a little impressive. Yeah.

I mean, to get people to come out to a show, to get like 19 people to RSVP and then come to your house as planned. This guy could sell out the ice house. Impressive. Why is this guy doing marketing for us, for God's sake? But here's the other thing that should be discussed. I feel like two years is not enough.

You think longer? Yeah, doesn't feel like much of a penalty. Give him five years. He'll set up operation in another state. I think the park sort of has to sort of like be glad that that many people want to come to the park and that he has that much zeal to like get people to come to the park. Like maybe the park should hire him to market for the park. Yeah. Judge Orney, one month for every person. Wow. So two years, he has time to think about how to do this better. We meet at a hotel off site. We rent the cars that you guys pay a little extra. You guys are going in different groups. Do not speak of this. If you speak of this, you're banned.

You go down to the bottom, if we meet at the bottom, we can talk to each other, but avoid the Rangers. That's how it works. Don't say you're part of any group. Or don't try and get a group rate at a hotel nearby. They'll then alert the guard. I don't know why you guys feel so comfortable mapping out this guy's for the criminal.

He's like, don't do it. He's saying don't do it. Let's take a sure. This is like, you know what, if you're gonna commit a crime, leave your cell phone at home so they can't track you. We're like that MacGyver episode. You talk to the kid how to make a prank call.

If you wait till your wife comes home, O.J. Don Mount is for sure a spiritual guru. Yeah, yeah. So he needs that gathering. He's this close to actually telling people to drink Kool-Aid. All right, let's take a break. When we come back, we'll find out

how you can support Orny, his podcasts, all that stuff, and what Daniel's got going on at Sump People Town. We'll be back. Stick around, make a sound, there's more at Sump People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Before we get to Orny, Daniel.

Yes. Let people know what you have going on. The Midnight Air, listen to it every Monday night. It's an overnight radio podcast that I do right here on All Things Comedy. If you have a unique job that most people don't do, email me, themidnightmailbag.gmail.com. I wanna interview you.

Other than that, danielvankirk.com for all of my dates. Wisconsin, parts of Illinois, obviously including Chicago, Colorado, Pacific Northwest. Go there for all that stuff. Daniel Vankirk. Check out his special, Rose Gold, and check out his movie Rose golds a Special I'm proud of and I hope it's very good

Yeah, and all this all the what's on YouTube. Oh, yeah, put it out in April So and everything I'm doing now for the most part should be Should be new material I had a couple people message me in New when I was in New Orleans and they were like Are you gonna tell the Boston story since the specials already out and I was like fuck it I'll do the following you going to tell the Boston story since the special's already out? And I was like, fuck it, I'll do the Boston story. You have to. So, but, what was the story we were doing on the other podcast today about being at the wedding?

Oh, at the wedding, yeah, when the, when the, I'm gonna just strongly recommend you. Oh, you have to do this. Bring that into your act. Ornie, your podcast, how can people listen to it? You know, where they have podcasts. What's it called? Tell them the name, for God's sakes.

What's Wrong with Ornie Adams? What's Wrong with Ornie Adams? What is wrong with Ornie Adams? That's a question Orny Adams? What is wrong with Orny Adams? Yeah, well it's got a duality. It's like, you know, what's wrong with Orny Adams? Sure. With Orny Adams, in the world. But mostly it's what's wrong with Orny Adams?

A question we'll ask all the time. Very different than this setup. I do it in a Shasta trailer in my backyard. Cool. And I turn on all the cameras and the lighting and there's variable lighting because it comes in through the window. No, I've seen clips, it's good, man.

I like the clips, it's good stuff. Stand up, where can people see you, find your dates and stuff, orniadams.com? No, they're not gonna show up. Yeah, they are. You're getting the fuzz. Our people are wonderful. Our people show up for people.

Oh, they do, okay, good. Yeah. Those are comedy going people. I mean, I'll be, it's, they draw on my website. Okay. Ornaniadams.com. Yeah, yeah. Okay, beautiful.

Thank you. Go see them. I look forward to seeing you. I mean, we started in comedy around the same time. That's what we should talk about. We were 94, 94 in New York is when we kind of really, and we had been doing it in the 80s in St. Louis. And I don't know if some people will tell you this,

but you have a slight Boston accent. Just a slight, it's a very, you were in New York 93, 94? That very. You were in New York in 93, 94? That's when you came to New York or no? Maybe 96. 96, so we had been there for a year or two, but we were sort of coming back into it 95, 96. And how much fun was it back then?

Loved it. It was a blast, oh my God, I loved it. Stand Up New York, Comic Strip, Donna Carolines, Gotts, Seller, Boston, all that stuff was sort of coming up and we were a part of it and then there was the alt scene which we were also a part of down at Luna Lounge and down at Surf Reality and all those other shows. It was a very exciting time to do Stand Up in New York.

But I love it now, man. I love that you guys are still doing it. Same, don't hate each other that much. I really enjoy what you guys do. Likewise, likewise. Right back at it, nobody crushes like this, much. I really enjoy what you guys do. Likewise, likewise. Right back at it, nobody crushes like this, Gary. I mean, it is really fun, because nobody captivates an audience more

and holds the microphone farther from their mouth than Orniath is. If you could hold it down by your kneecap next time. No, it's great, great shit. Every time we see it. All right, I'm gonna jump into the story, shall I? Yes. Sent in by Andrew Greenblatt, little Andy Greenblatt.

Love it. At Dat Greenblatt. Can I, before you get into it. Sure, yes. Has there ever been a case in the history of Dumb Town. Dumb People Town, sure. Dumb People Town. Thank you.

Where you, there was a duplicate story. So we try not to do that. No, that's never happened on a show. It's never happened. Although that would be great. That would be great. That would be just dumb. If his story was my story, and I'm like,

oh my God, he's doing my story. What if, what's he over under on all three of you of the same story? If it was a great story, I don't know. Oh my God, that would be crazy. All right, you ready for this? Here we go. That would be true.

Thank you, little Andy Greenberg. Here we go, Greenblatt, ready? Sail a man with warrants arrested after stealing ride on back of firetruck. You're not allowed to jump on a firetruck. That's not your Uber. You can't just jump on a, even though that's a way people-

Some people have our time just getting out of the fucking way. Right. Is this happening so much that we have laws? Yeah, you just can't jump on a firetruck. No hop-ons. Oh, no hop-ons. Yeah.

Is that what it's called? I mean, you assume that's what he did. No hopsies. He got a ride on a firetruck. No hopsies. Yeah. I just grabbed the ladder. I don't know why I'm a bad person.

Arrested in development with the staircase truck. He's like, you're gonna get hop-ons. You're gonna get, you're gonna get people are gonna run up it. All right, a Salem man in Oregon, is Eugene, Oregon, a Salem man, with existing warrants out of Marion County, was arrested on Monday morning

after he allegedly hopped on the back of a fire truck that was heading back to the Denbo station according to the Eugene Police Department. Now, EPD officials say that Eugene Springfield Fire contacted police for assistance. You know it's bad when the fire department's like, we can't even handle this.

We wanna kick this guy's ass. All we do is work out all day long when there is no fire. We are designed to carry heavy stuff and kick people's asses. Here's what we are as firemen, we're designed for three things. Take our shirts off and be on calendars. Sit around and work out and talk about stuff.

And then occasionally do a control buzz. Yeah, and cook. And cook! You know what, this is an interesting fact because I see them all the time at the supermarket. They'll be like two firemen with a. Jacked. Yeah, with two carts full of

stuff yeah and I always think maybe I should just pay for it right you know thank you for your service so I asked them once I said does the firehouse pick up the tab yeah or do you guys split it what do you say he said we split it and I decided still not to pick up that point. That's why. At that point it was so much for you. It was too cartload. $2,000. Eat less. What else am I gonna do?

At these prices? Yeah, what are you doing at Airwalks? Shopping at this place. I got the bananas. I got the bananas. I'll take these. All right, fine. So this would happen.

Police asked assistance. They were asked for assistance at what time of day? When did they call the police on this? Say that there's a guy riding on the back of our car. When do you think this happened? Late night. Late night, so give me a specific time. We'll see if we can get there.

12.30 a.m. A.m., what do you think? I'm gonna go 9 p.m. Three in the afternoon. Okay, get your answers in town. I like that too, by the way. This happened, are you ready for this? 7.30 a.m.

Ooh, early morning call. He was probably up all night partying. This is the end of a long night. Yeah, that's what I need to know. Yeah, he's like, I can't get an Uber. I don't have the app. I gotta get across town. I know the firehouse is closer to my house.

Let's go, baby. Calls on a false alarm at his next door neighbors. That's it! Don't give him the road map. God damn it, you were yelling at us or giving people the road map? All right, so at the Dembo station at Berntson Road, where a man identified as, this is the most jokey name ever.

This feels like an SCTV name, like a soap opera name. Fernando Aguilera Bravo, it's a hyphenate. Fernando Bravo, he's a wrestler. I don't recognize you without your mask onilera Bravo. It's a hyphenate. Fernando Bravo, Fernando, he's a wrestler. You know, I don't recognize you without your mask on. Fernando Bravo, all right. And we're gonna get it, I'll get you his age later. Does he have a history with the fire department, like he applied?

That might be it. He's got warrants and he's like, I could have been, man. I know how to work the ladder, let me get on the back. He allegedly had ridden on the back of one of the fire engines back to the station. Fire personnel discovered Angela. Oh, he's coming back to the ladder. Let me get on the back. He allegedly had ridden on the back of one of the fire engines back to the station. Fire personnel discovered Angela- Oh, he's coming back to the station. I'm sorry, Angeliara Bravo.

Fernando Angeliara Bravo. Angeliara Bravo upon their arrival at the station, at which point Angeliara Bravo jumped off the engine's tailboard and then rolled underneath the vehicle where he was partially hidden by a large tree limb that was laying beside him. And let me be the first to say it on the podcast,

I can't believe it hasn't come up, but did he play with the steering wheel on the back? On the back! Does that affect the car? Does it affect if the people on the back can spin it too? Oh wow, Jesus. How many axles? Two, two separates.

But I mean, this is a pro move. Fire truck stops, Angel Arobrado rolls off, goes underneath, underneath, partially hidden by a tree branch that was next to him. This guy's amazing. He's a ninja? Authorities say that multiple officers responded to the scene and while a language barrier

presented challenges, no speaking English, you know that was happening. No, sad last one, no. Police eventually discovered that Angel Aguilera, I'm sorry, Aguilera Brown. I keep screwing it up. It's hard. Aguilera Bravo had two warrants out for Marion County for a theft and third degree escape. Is he a magician? Sounds like it. Third degree escape? He knows how to roll under a truck. Aguilera Bravo was arrested on the on the warrants and transported to the Lane County Jail where he faces an additional charge

of second degree criminal trespass, which I think that's what it is. Yeah, you're not allowed to be on a bat. But why is it trespassing? It's more like breaking and entering or? Or joyriding, is that what it'd be? I'm gonna move to the Salem, Oregon because they're tough on crime.

If this happened in LA, like if the fire department, they're like, under a 9-1-1, what's the emergency? They're like, ah, there's a guy on our fire truck. They would say, so? Did he steal anything? So, what do you want us to do? Is he using the back-steering wheel? He isn't?

Just make sure you're taking care of him. Just let him be blind. I imagine they trespassed because he rode back, so they pull in to the garage, so he's on the property. But then I agree with you, it's like, get him out like a bat. You just gotta shoo him out of there. I called 911 This is I'm not kidding a couple of weeks ago because two homeless people on La Brea

Were having sex on the sidewalk. No first question. No first question. Is it consensual? Yeah Have these guys been to Burning Man You need to know. That does matter. Great question. Have these guys been to Burning Man? Yeah! They still think they're there! They can do it out there, you can do it anywhere.

I hope you wrote back like, how it feels romantic. You want to go talk to us? I said I'm not an expert on that, but there's two people having sex on a sidewalk. Either this is enough. Yeah, because otherwise you just said, there's someone having sex with someone else.

Now we're going, that doesn't sound conventional. Two people having sex. It's the greatest shared among us. Greatest second bumble date ever. with someone else. Now we're going, that doesn't sound consensual. Two people having sex. It's the greatest second bumble date ever. Or first. Or first. Or second bumble. First hinge.

First hinge. Your tenter mine. Yeah, that's right. That's it, your tenter mine. And so he has been in custody. Sorry, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I phone to be able to go in there? Anyway, all right, so we're gonna get out of here on this because he's in custody right now. How old is Fernando Aguilera Bravo? Fernando Bravo, hey.

How old is this guy who at 7.30 in the morning jumped on the back of a fire truck, rode it back to the station, when it stopped, rolled off under it. He's got some agility. Rolled off and he's got some agularity. And he goes underneath and he gets hidden by the, he's got one time. He's a 28 year old man.

28 year old man? Daniel, what did you say? I'm gonna go 23. Okay, morning. 52. Wow. 52. I like it, it's like a spry guy. Sorry.

Maybe he has a bowling ball. Something to prove. I can still do this. She'll come back. 52 recently divorced. Right. She do this, she'll come back. 52 recently divorced. She cheated with a fireman. Finally.

Are you the guy that don't belong on this truck? I got a host too. I have every right to be here too. I have every right to be here too, Louise. All right, get your answers in, Townies, because Fernando Aguilera Bravo, thank you, is 35 years old. Ah!

There you go. Right down the middle. Right down the middle. That's story number two down in the books. I like that part of the format of Dumb People Town is there's sort of some guessing involved. There's some game. Game, game.

Game. Gamesmanship, it's fun. Ornie Adams is with us. You can follow him, listen to his podcast, The Problem with Ornie. There's some games. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game.

There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game.

There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game.

There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. There's a game. wherever you get podcasts. We'll be right back with the last story. Jay, give us a little teaser. You know, this guy does something that I think we all think we wanna do, but you don't wanna do it. It taps into some of the anger

that Ornie can access on stage that I'm curious to hear. I can't wait. All right, we'll be right back with More Dumb People Town with Ornie Adams. Stick around, make a sound, there's more Dumb People Town with Ornie Adams. Stick around, make a sound, there's more Dumb People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show before we jump into the final story with Ornie Adams.

Jay, we should let people know, first of all, thank you to everyone, like we said before, for coming out and seeing our two-man show, which we are very proud of, The Born Identity. Coming back out, we're gonna do it at SketchFest on Saturday, February 1st, in the afternoon at the Gateway Theater.

4 p.m., I think, is the show. Yeah, so phenomenal. It's an afternoon show, but you should be able if you're a SketchFest person in San Francisco, I want to sell this thing out because I want to see it in a bigger theater. We did it at the Lyric Hyperion, which was 80, but this is like almost 300 seats. I think we can do that. We have dates. We're going to be in La Jolla the week before at the Comedy Store, which we have only been down to San Diego and done the American Comedy Company, never done the La Jolla Comedy Store. Killer Club.

All we've heard. Very excited to do that. And then we start to really, we got Denver Comedy Works, we've got Acme in Minneapolis, and we've got Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle in Detroit. All great. Love, love, love. And then the Moon Tower Comedy Festival.

I'm going. Are you? Great, we'll see you there buddy. I of love. Love, love, love. And then the Moon Tower Comedy Festival. I'm going. Are you? Great. We'll see you there, buddy. I love it. Maybe I'll have you on my podcast. Let's do that. Oh, yes. I love it.

So all that stuff, superscalars.com. Check it for our dates and all the other things and good stuff happening. We have another special date that's on March 2nd that we'll say, but we can't say anything else about that. And then on Tag It. Oh yeah, Tag It Comedy Store on January 9th. The 9th of this drops before that.

Okay, ready? All right, this is sent in by Kyle Andrews at Late Night Nachos, he sends a lot of stuff in there. Here's the headline, angry customer drives car into Sandy dealership after return denied. Wait, oh he had a car and he wanted to return? Yeah, yeah, this is a very recent thing. Sandy, Utah, a man was arrested after police said

he intentionally crashed a car he recently bought into the storefront of a dealership in Sandy. According to the Sandy police, Michael Murray. Michael Murray. Michael Murray feels like a guy who's ready to drive or a one hit wonder in the 70s. Didn't he sing that song? He did that one song with the Doobie Brothers.

Michael Murray. He did that song about the horse. You know Ann Murray's brother. Ann Murray's brother. He was, instead of being up on a pedestal, this is so deep. He was below the ground. Did you see the special he shot at Burning Man?

Oh, Michael Murray's special, I did. It was unbelievable. He made an entire song out of pipe cleaners. So he bought a car from Tim Dahl Mazda, South Town on Monday night. If you're buying a Mazda today, Probably a six. You're not gonna be happy with it number one and number two

You're gonna want to know back and drive it through the front window. Okay, he bought it he bought No in videos sent to Fox 13 news the car appeared to be a Subaru Outback But he bought it from a Mazda place. I guess it was in the This is a lesbian car This was in the used car. Was he like, this is a lesbian car he sold me. Yeah, I can't. You're like, hey, hey, hey, hey. Pre-owned.

Hours later, Murray, and we'll get to his age later. Pre-owned is like, I love when businesses try and make something used. It's used. They're like, we can't say that anymore. Pre-owned. Reportedly discovered that he unalived. No, reportedly discovered what he believed

were mechanical issues with the car, went back to the dealership in hopes of returning the vehicle, which he called a lemon. However, Tim Dalmaz, the South Town Management, said they would not take the car back. It was sold as is. When did he buy it? How long did he have it?

Hours before, hours before. Hours before. It states that you can return a car within like two or three days. As is is as is. If it's a sold as is used. Hours before hours before that you can return a car within like As is is as if it's a sold as is used as is J pre-owned was it properly explained to him the terms of It would even matter really Allegedly threatened to drive through the dealership front door if they wouldn't give him his money back. So he threatened, he didn't just do it, he threatened.

At this point you have to, yeah. We're like, quote, whoa, we don't need to do that. Sit down, we can figure this out. We can find a solution. So at this point. Said Tyler Slade. Okay, at this point. A platform manager at the dealership.

Tyler Slade. Former porn star. Frosted Tim. Tyler Slade. Former porn star. Frosted chin. Tyler Slade. Former. Former. Current. Only works out his upper body.

You know these guys. What's his only fans? Tyler Slade. The old Slade. Slade claims. One horse Slade. So is he telling the truth? He probably didn't say whoa.

At this point. Sit down, we can figure this out. He probably said fuck off. Right. You bought it as say, whoa, sit down. We can figure this out. He probably said, fuck off. Right. You bought it as is get out of here. So what I would do if you were in this instance and you, someone's threatening to drive in the front. Okay. You have to take that as a threatened. Yes. I think he's like, I will drive this to the front of the

store unless you give me my money back. You have to take that as a credible threat. Okay, sir. Please sit down over here, have some free popcorn or whatever they have at the dealership. Let's figure out what we can do. Let's figure out what we can do. That figure out we can do that's all he said They said you call the call the police all the police Yes

While he's sitting there be like this guy's threatened to like drive the car in front of the thing You got to take it seriously because this could happen. Please come and pick this guy up So that's what I would do in that situation and say hey, we're working on it. We're calling our manager our managers night We're gonna get the guy we were trying to get the big guy on the phone We're gonna try and get to the bottom now this. Now if this was LA, you call 911, they'd say, has he driven the car through the window yet? Right, if so, let him take what he wants to take up to $1,000.

Up to $1,000. Is the car driving consensual? Let me tell you, yeah. Let me tell you what I suspect happened. Yeah. This guy, all excited, bought the car, it's running great, calls his best buddy, he says, just bought a Subaru.

Guy's like, you bought a lesbian car What's wrong with you and this guy's like it identifies as a Mazda? All right, here we go. He claims the dealership did offer Murray his money back or a different car before he rammed into the front Of the building he added that Murray was told they offered him his money back. That's what he's saying. Yeah Slay don't lie Beforehand the car needed work. Okay, Murray was told by the dealership beforehand that the car needed work before the purchase. We were very clear about the fact

that this car is not retail, Slade said. It's gonna need more inspecting and some work. In this situation, the customer needed the car. It fit his limited budget, and in our mind we were doing him a favor. Yeah, oh well that's. The arrest reports were about seven, okay, the arrest report said there were about seven salesmen

near the front door when Murray drove through but nobody was injured during the incident although the dealership suffered and estimated how much money in damages. Oh, $80,000 in damages. Like you have to replace a front window and a door and all that so that's expensive. I'll go $60,000.

What do you think Ornie? $15,000. $15,000? Yeah. Get your answers in, Or Orney's the closest $10,000. Oh, it's not that much. I was going to say 10. Not that much. You were close. Slade shared how he and other employees had to act fast with a hit. I was actually just outside the building, but the noise you can imagine was a big bang, a lot of scrambling employees and there were a lot of shuffling going on the last minute where the customers rammed through the front door. The customer, Murray was booked to jail

and faces charges of felony crime. How about the guy, the salesman who's like, I sold a car after that happened, you know he's gonna be like, I can sell it at any time. He's like, that guy's swinging the big dick. Like, oh, I got, you know, this guy drove the car. I could sell this car to someone else. Don't they put like on the board

when somebody sells you a check? Does a check come down at that point? Take his name off. Who sold this car to that guy? Take his name off the board. So I got video. You guys can watch this video.

I feel like this is a symptom of long COVID. Yeah. I saw this on TikTok. I saw this on TikTok too. All right, this guy, this is him. All the way through. All the way through. All the way through. Into the store!

Oh my God. And then the guy gets out. Drops the keys. He's like, I want my money back. I told you, MFers, whoa, whoa. Wow, whoa, shit. Call the cops. This guy.

Dude. You see him. I mean, that is definitely a guy who is. He's like a prettier me. January 6th. He's like, I did it once, I could do it again. He's like, dude, that is just, why? I mean, full on through the glass. He's got, I did it once, I can do it again. He's like, dude, that is just, why?

I mean, full on, through the glass. He's got a job as a stunt driver. He's got a job as a stunt driver. $4,000. Boom, right through the door. Wow. And it's amazing that he didn't hit any of the other cars. Incredible.

Now, if this was a comedy club, they would let him sit there and enjoy the rest of the show. They wouldn't throw him out. No, they wouldn't. They would let him back in. He already bought of the show. They wouldn't throw him out He bought four thousand dollars worth of drinks. He has ten friends with it. He has twelve Kick him out. Yeah, that's the can't kick him out the comedy club. He's a customer We can't kick him out. I've had fist fights break out in the crowd in the crowd. They settle it down They let them stay and watch the show. You're like no. Yeah We had people talking the entire time at our show in Louisville.

This club doesn't exist anymore, the Louisville Improv. Oh, I went there. Remember they make you a bat at the Louisville Slugger Museum with you? Yeah. It actually was really nice. It was cool. But then we're at the show, sold out Saturday night show.

There's like 11 people kind of near the front. They're talking as loud as I'm talking to you, the entire show. Now Randy and I need, it has to be quiet when we're doing our bits and then laughter because we have, where timing is involved. I can't hear other voices talking. And so, and we don't like,

at that point we weren't into opening things up and talking to the crowd. And so we just kind of let it happen. It ruined our show. You had people drive three hours to come to our show and it ruined it for them. And so afterwards, these people had the nerve to come up to us and say, will you take a picture with us? And I was like, why? You were

talking the whole time. They're like, it was her birthday. And I was like, I don't care. And then I said, bring them over, bring them over. And I was like, before we take the picture, I just want to tell you guys, don't ever go see a comedy show ever again. Don't you bring your friends, call your friends and tell them never to come to this club again. Tell everyone, you know, that no one wants you. Nobody wants you on this earth. Your parents are embarrassed about you. Your parents are embarrassed that they had you. And that was the most awkward picture we took after that. I'd be worried about the yelp review. I was like, but we will take a picture. Now everything here is 20. Yeah. JJ was like,

buy all of our shit. I said that before we kicked someone out who was talking through our whole show in Florida. And the security was dragging this woman out the door. As they were dragging her out, we're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, we've got CDs and t-shirts and more, she wants to make something up on the way. All right, you guys, that is it. That is the show, What's Wrong with Ornie Adams?

What's Wrong? What's Wrong with Ornie Adams? Comma, with Ornie Adams. And so check out his podcast. Follow Daniel, dannebannkurt.com, Sklar Brothers at supersklar.com. We love you guys. Did you not know our website for a brief moment?

For a brief moment. We couldn't decide if you wanted to go to Swamp Community or if you wanted to go to Swamp Community. I got the podcast, I got his thing, I don't know, whatever. We will see you next week. This was so much fun, man. Thank you for having me on. We have to thank you for it.

You're welcome. Stick around, make a sound. There's more to F***ing Town.