Dumb People Town - Rachel Bloom - Brazilian Mow

Episode Date: November 26, 2024

Triple threat Rachel Bloom (Death, Let Me Do My Special) stops by as Daniel describes how a woman sued her former employer after she didn't receive a "farewell" card but they did and no one signed it, Randy explains a husband that was reported missing only to return with strip club charges, and Jason warns against getting a near-fatal lap dance from your housekeeper, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsor: Skylight Frames! As a special, limited-time offer for our listeners, get twenty dollars off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go to SkylightFrame.com/DPT.

Dan and Ran and Jay will share Tales of hope so unaware they lack in grace And sometimes shoes, the life they choose Will make the news breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half price bail I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast band with co-host Arm and Dan. Members, don't be a jerk, because where the music gets the funny hits, we are gonna take you down.

Stick around, make a sound, hunker down East Dumpf-People-Town. Hey, wanna celebrate with and stay connected to people who live far away? Are you missing someone this holiday season and want them to be part of your festivities from afar? Or do loved ones live far away but wish they were closer to you? Now as a special limited time offer for our listeners, you get $20 off your first purchase or your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go to skylightframe.com slash dpt. That's S-K-Y-L-I-G-H-T-F-R-A-M-e dot com slash d-p-t. Get $20 off your purchase now at skylightframe.com slash d-p-t.

Get $20 off a Skylight Frame at skylightframe.com slash d-p-t. Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Bloom. Rachel Bloom. I'm so happy you're here. What a wonderful time to get you in dumb people time what a fun time

It is a fun time is a crazy time and you are Judy blooms daughter. Is that correct? Yeah, that is true different spelling. But why do I somehow? Yeah, you all her daughter you emancipated and you're like, I like the sound change in the name. Yeah exactly Yeah, this is your Hollywood name shitty mom. Yeah I didn't want to going into an audition room. You don't wanna carry that in, no. You wanna be your own. And you spell that R-U-M-E, audition room, right?

You go there. Yeah. Just checking, just checking. Rachel Bloom has a special out and we're gonna talk about it, not right now. We'll talk about it at the top of the second segment, but I watched it and I loved it and I have so many questions and wonderful things

because we're doing a two-man show that like, it just inspired me in so many ways. Ooh, I can't and I loved it and I have so many questions and wonderful things because we're doing a two man show that like, it just inspired me. We'll talk all about that later. But first there's dumb stuff to get into and we need your help. Turns out the world is getting dumber. I have story one and it is so harmlessly dumb. Okay great.

I mean it would, there is a person that I'm not like in it. I like a good harmless dumb, yeah. That's what I like. Okay, non-threatening dumb. We've all done enough, so many different types of comedy shows. I've said this a lot.

Sometimes all you need is a headline. We could just do an hour on the headline. The headline is enough of a prompt for you to be like, cool, we'll do this improv show for the next hour. It was sent in by Matthew Friedman, at Not Your Average Matt. Thanks, bud. He's crushing it recently.

Okay, woman who sued company for not giving her a farewell card. So she sues because she leaves the company and nobody gives her a farewell card. Finds out they did buy her a card, but almost no one signed it. No! Ha ha ha! I love the anger to it.

Have you ever gone? So we went to, can I say this? We went to Hawaii years ago. Like when our kids were little. Okay, one percent. Wow. Okay, right? Money box over here.

We went to Hawaii years ago and we stayed, and we were staying at one of these hotels where the kids could go into a babysitting sort of a thing and we could just go enjoy ourselves on the beach. This is when they were little. And it was like a fun thing they were doing, like arts and crafts. And we wrote down our assets to write down our address

and they would send a birthday card, like a little birthday card every year to our kids. But they got the wrong date for the wrong kid. They flip-flopped them, so like wishing Daisy a happy birthday on George's birthday, and George a happy birthday on Daisy's birthday, and those dates were also wrong. So like.

So you sued them. Yeah. I'm so mad. I'm mad. I'm like, I don't need this mail. Dan, it's not the thought that counts. It's not. I'd rather get 15 Bed Bath and Beyond coupons

that I will never use. But that is great marketing. Because if you do give it to your kid, now you have your kid saying, we wanna go back there to you all the time. They're so nice. They get an ice over at crayons. Also Rachel,

That's a lot. I didn't say this to you, much like Ranger said, anything that comes up in this story that takes you anywhere in your life, a character, a story, feel free to go there. We all have steering wheels. A song?

I just want, there's no such thing as interrupt. No, I also don't appreciate, I don't care that my dentist remembers my birthday. Right? That they send you a. I don't need that. You don't need a tooth-shaped birthday card. No.

Hey, just filling you in. It's like, I don't wanna hear the pun. I don't need holiday cards from corporations. No. Hey, just filling you in. It's like, I don't wanna hear the pun. I don't need holiday cards from corporations. Nope, right. I like when like a scarf I bought from my mom for Christmas like eight years ago. That company is still like, we've missed you, happy birthday.

And I'm like, first of all, you don't miss me, but I appreciate the sentiment. Rachel's dentist, you're one year molar. Yeah. It doesn't even make sense. It doesn't even make sense. It does not even make sense. I guess I would like that more if it was like, congratulations a year ago that you had that filling

and it's a picture of the filling. Right. That'd be cute. Someone's getting long in the tooth. Wow. That is a good dentist for that. Wow. Bro, that's so neat.

You can't say that to me. Don't comment her like that. Okay, here's the story. A British woman who sued a former employer because she didn't get a farewell card. She sounds great. Found out in court that her colleagues did in fact buy her a card.

It's just that hardly anyone signed it. How did this go to court? I mean this is- Because now I've been part of a, I went through a house lawsuit a couple years ago because our house was really fucked up. Let's just say earthquake proofing was faked anyway. Yep.

But we never went to court. How'd you find out? Earthquake? Well. I was hoping it wasn't that way. It was the window. What happened is the windows were leaking. Okay.

And then someone came to like look at the windows and they opened up the wall a little bit and they went, something has been very, something is very, very wrong with this house. Did you first say ghost and then? I first said ghost and then. So from the windows to the walls. Okay.

Till the sweat dripped down. From inside the walls, you're like, something's wrong. There's literally sweat dripping down inside the walls. Something is very wrong. Something is wrong. Yeah, literally sweat dripping down inside the walls. Something is very wrong. Something is wrong. Yeah, cause that's way beyond, we had your inspector, we went through rescue,

everything's done. That is like egregious. Here's my number one tip to first time homeowners, cause we bought the house over 10 years ago, we were first time homeowners. Never use the inspector that the company or the realtor recommends. No, you should.

Consist on bringing in your own inspector. Independent inspector. We didn't know that. A structural engineer took one, it's basically the second floor of our house, which is like, it had been a crawl space that they then tried to make livable space, but cheaped out on.

The structural engineer takes one look, he goes, I can't work on this house. So we have to get another structural engineer. So I've been through a lawsuit. But you didn't take it to court. So we went to get another structural engineer. So I've been through a lawsuit. But you didn't take it to court. So we went to arbitration and we settled before out of court. So for something to go to court. Well, in all fairness, you're talking

about the structural safety of your house. She's talking about a car that she didn't get. So hers is clearly court-worthy. Yours is not. Yours is way more important. Yeah. But what I don't understand is like, you have to pay, it's what, I think it's Trump's tactic, is that if you just get people spending more and more money

in lawsuits and you keep them in legal jeopardy for years, people just give up because it's so fucking money. I won't hang on, I won't hang on. I can't, I'm not gonna hang in. So how did this go to court? Like someone had to put on a powder wig. And it's in England, yeah, someone's in a powder wig. Oh maybe it's different in England.

Maybe, but also I feel like, sort of by the end of this article, maybe even halfway through, you're gonna be like, oh, if I work for this company, I want to be able to say this in court. We did get you a card. That's pretty great. I want someone typing on a thing

that doesn't have letters to type in that we did get her. You want my name on that card. You want my name on that card. You need my name on that card. Well, no, no, there is a moment though where they're like holding that information in their back pocket and that is their gotcha moment. Something doesn't, the British legal system

must be different because that would mean they were spending tens to hundreds of thousands of pounds, I guess, is their wonky currency. Pounds. Just to be able to say in court, we actually made you a card. That's right. Or it's that whole British thing where they're like,

I don't want to say, like I don't want to put it out there. Right. Like, let's not talk about this right now. If we can avoid saying it, let's talk. And then eventually they get to the point of like a deposition or like at court. And like, all right, fine. Yeah, and then they're sober grudges.

Like have to grudge up the uncomfortableness. Okay. After her colleagues didn't present her with a farewell card on her last day of work, Karen Cognaghan, Oh, she's a con, Conaghan, I'm gonna go Conaghan. Karen Cognaghan sued the International Airlines Group,

which I know owns British Airways. And I think other as well. Yes, IAG. Her former employee from, how many years do you think she worked there? Oh, this woman sucks. So I'm gonna guess she worked there. And is this mad about not getting a car?

I'm gonna guess six years. Okay. Two years. Okay. 11 years. One of you is exactly right. Oh! So we get to play the mini game within the game.

Okay. Who do you think is right? And you can stick with yourself or jump on to somebody else's answer. What did you say? We have six, two, 11. I'm gonna stay at two. I'm moving to Rachel's.

I'm gonna stick, I'm gonna go six. I'll stay with six. Okay. It's gonna be two I'm gonna go with six. I'll stay with six. Okay. It's gonna be two. It's gonna be two. This woman sucks. It's gonna be two. International Airlines Group was her employer for two years.

What? What? 2019 to 2021. You can't. You can't. You aren't card worthy. That's fantastic. Two years is maybe a Chipotle gift card.

Maybe. Not even, not even. A wave? No, like a Chipotle gift card. Not even. Not even. A wave? No, like a- Hey, it's been great. Yeah, it was really good getting to know you. You still say getting to know you, two years?

Oh, this woman is, I mean, not to theropize everything. A hair is bad. This woman's very sick. This is a sick, this is a sick, addled person. She was laid off in 2021. Yeah, for being- She's suing them for failure to acknowledge her existence, a breach of equality law according to the Guardian.

What? In court, Conaghan's former colleague, so they're bringing people in from the cubicle, testified that they did buy her a card. We did buy her a card. You got a receipt? That's people's court. But they didn't give it to her because only blank amount of people signed it. How many people do you think signed it?

At IJ, it's a huge company. They own airlines. Sure, I think two people signed it. For however many years she worked there. One person signed it. One of you is exactly right. I'm gonna stay with two. I'm gonna go with three.

I'm staying with mine. One person signed it. They didn't give it to Karen because only three people signed it. Yay! Three. By the way, that's enough. And one of them, you know, had to be like,

just fucking sign it. All you have to do is put your name in the hole. My argument is that's enough and also fake some signatures. Yes. Just start, just start. How's she gonna know? Also draw pictures.

Cards. What I would do, maybe it's just because I a four-year-old I would draw my signature It's not cuz of a four-year-old because I draw like a four-year-old my signature to fill out things on cards is I draw a Heart with a string to make it look like a heart balloon Smiley faces in the o's and bloom. I mean, you've got it. Okay, I used to, my signature, this is middle school to high school, to early college. Okay.

When I think, did I do it over the A? No, I did it over the O's. I love this. Oomblots? Oh no, I'm sorry, at the end of the M, I draw a heart, smiley face, and give it hair. Oh, what kind of a haircut? Spikes?

Just like general girl hair. Just general girl hair down there. Hard hair. There are multiple, but at least one teacher could have a very successful Instagram account of just showing the signatures of their students. Oh my god. Right?

First name only. That was literally your signature move. Yeah, that's right. There you go. That was also a way that. Yeah, that's right. There you go. That was also a way that I, when I would forget people's names, this was really elaborate. I only did it a couple times.

But in high school when I would forget people's names, I don't know where I got this, I'd go, hey, I can tell your future from your handwriting. Can you write your full name down? Oh, that's so good! That's so good! That's great. Make it a hand write.

Of the day, that's the equivalent of what is your Twitter handle again so I can follow you? Yeah. And you hold their names. And then it's like. Yes, yes. And then it's like popcorncruncher364 and you're like, I can't.

Yeah, yeah. Not reliable. It should be your name, which is. There are people though who have done alterations of their name as their handle and then over time you end up thinking like that is there like they shouldn't have like altered their name by like two letters to make it funny because then you forget right crunchy Jack like his last name was Marshall but he'd say Martian and I thought his last name was Martian yes

and he was like no we know that guy a hundred percent and I guarantee that happened okay so mark Smalls for the longest time they kept calling him mark I thought his last name was Martin. And he was like, no. We know that guy, 100%. And I guarantee that happened. Okay, so. Mark Smalls, for the longest time, they kept calling him Mark the Dart. And when we were playing golf with him, and they were like, oh, it's, I've been saying Mark Smalls, it's Mark.

Why did I get this wrong? And they're like, no, it's Mark. And then I'm like, but why are they calling you Mark? And so then we had a long text chain where I kept messing. Sometimes it's on the people. Well, I have a nightmare. It's not a nightmare. My life is fine.

But, uh, I love the honesty. My husband went to Jewish summer camp where everyone's either named Dan or Josh. So everyone goes by their last names. So there are friends of his whose first names I don't know. Of course.

But also my husband, his name's Dan Greger. He goes by Greger and we were friends before we dated. I call him Greger. But he introduces himself to acquaintances as Dan. So then when I say Greger, they look at me like I'm fucking crazy. You're like, when did you marry a Russian guy? And I have to then explain,

my husband's name is Dan Greger. We speak like we're on a basketball team. It's been my struggle, it's been like, mine comp for the past like, truly 16 years. Or they'll say it to you about him, and for a second you have to be like, Greger? Or they'll be like, how's Dan doing? And be like, Dan, who's Dan?

Oh, and then I have to be like, oh, you're not close enough with him to call him his real name. See, I used to do a different version of this, which I was frustrating people, because my college roommate, his name's Paul, and then we were one of the five people who went and saw Fight Club in the theater,

and the Meat Loaf's character in that name is Robert Paulson, so I started calling him Paulson, and I'd call him Robert Paulson, and then for a while I just called him Robert, so we'd be at things, and I'd be like, this is my buddy Paul, and they'd be cool, and then I'd be like, Robert, can you, and people would be like, what the?

Who are you, why are you calling him this? I know, which I was frustrated. I don't like it. I would assume that your husband's name was Greg, and you're affectionately like a hot dude. Gregor, Gregor's here. So this is what a lot of people think, and also one of the characters in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

was named Greg, unrelated. Yeah. Didn't even occur to me. Gregor. Because Greg is a different name than, it's been. It's not your last name, because you kept your last name. So people are already confused by that.

It's already really confusing. You got it. I've thought about, do I hyphenate, do I illegally hyphenate my last name just to have some sort of like clear. No, you can't now. Too late. You're too famous.

Make the world be the change you hope to see. Well, I keep Rachel Bloom professional, I don't know. You wanna hyphenate it in social situations? Rachel, try it out with me. Introduce yourself to me. So hi, I'm Randy Sklar, nice to meet you. Hi, Rachel Gregor Bloom. Oh! Bloom Gregor!

No, Gregor Bloom has always been. Gregor Bloom? Yeah. Gregor Bloom sounds like it's non-hyphenated. Gregor Bloom, exactly. Sounds like one whole, you know the Gregor Blooms. Well, this was a discussion, so it's me. I think I would have been in favor of that.

Who do we need to talk to? I don't know, because my husband has six names, so I was like, okay, I guess you're the name expert. Dan Josh Gregor Bloom. All right, so this is Gregor. And he doesn't have a, he only has a middle initial, he doesn't have a middle name. Really?

I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I guess you're the name expert. Dan Josh Gregor Bloom. All right, so this is Gregor. And he only has a middle initial, he doesn't have a middle name.

Really? Jay? It's a whole thing. A. A. Dan A. Gregor. Daniel A. Gregor. And he's named after his great uncle who has a fascinating story.

But Daniel A. Gregor sounds like an old novelist. Yes, here's the problem. At the airport, it reads Daniela Greger, so he gets flagged because they think, oh, you should be a woman. I've had that happen to me. And you're like, why are you questioning my gender? Yeah, like, this is how it's gonna go.

And that's exactly what we say. At this point in history. I have three. If you're my family, it's never stopped being Danny. It's still Danny to this day, every single person. And then people who've married into my family, they're like, oh Danny? And then it's like from like 15 to 30, it's Dan. And then everything since 30, which is what I introduce myself as, is Daniel. But I can't even, I've had on stage, you get brought up, it's always a part of what they say, what

do you want me to say? I go, it's Daniel. Some people say Dan. I don't know why I told you my name is that's a very calm way to bring it up Oh, I try to be so chill about say it's Daniel Gregor midwestern terrified. I know and this is the problem is no No one calls him Daniel. So he's acquaintances calling Dan his family calls him Danny Close people call him Gregor There was a time where I was like, should I maybe call you Daniel? And it could be our special name. And he was like, no one calls me Daniel.

And I'm like, oh, so you now have enough names. And you call him like you guys are on a hockey team. Exactly, but to me it's not. Bloomer, Gregor. He doesn't call me Bloom. Nobody throws a dag at him? He should call you Bloom. No. He should call you Bloom, I'm sorry. Or Bloomer! Exactly, he doesn't call me Bloom. Nobody throws a dag at him? He should call you Bloom. No.

He should call you Bloom, I'm sorry. Okay. Or Bloomer. Bloomer. Bloomer. All right, you wanna hear more about this? Can I ask you something for the record, my whole thing? If no one's signing the card,

go tape three pieces of printer paper together and say goodbye Karen from all of us. Yeah, we love you. Which doesn't even mean you like her. Don't even say goodbye Karen from all of us. Just from all of us. Just give't even mean you like her. Don't even say goodbye Karen from all of us. Just from all of us. Just give her the card. I don't know.

Let her know that only three people like her. She sounds like she sucks. I don't know. You can't sue if you get the card. Told you. She can't sue for people. It must be different in Britain. There's no way they spent hundreds of thousands of,

there's no way. He believed, this is her colleague, he believed, this is the Judge Kevin Palmer, JKP talking. It doesn't sound like a British name. You're right, because of the hard R. He believed it would be more insulting, this is the colleague, to give her the card

than to give her the card than not to give her the card at all. It's not your call to make. That is not your call. You're playing God right now and I don't like it. I would have bought a new card and not had anyone sign it so that at least a card right The tribunal was told that two men More than one judge someone's gonna be shot I know the tribunal was also told that two men were also laid off during the restructuring at the company

Which was off which also owns air lingus and iberia, and they did not receive cards either. Aer Lingus is absolutely. It's insane that they haven't changed. They are into satisfying women on that airline. That is what they're into. That is what they're into. The seats are unbelievable. But, do you think, I imagine the other two guys

had tons of signatures, but they were like, if we're not giving one to Karen because no one signed it, we can't give one to the other two. But also they didn't give that to them. No, the other two guys didn't get one either. Okay. They're not suing this woman. Conaghan.

What's her name? Conaghan. Karen Conaghan. Karen Conaghan. I know, I know. Karen Conaghan brought a total of 40 allegations against IAG in her lawsuit, including sexual harassment, victimization, and unfair

dismissal, but the court dismissed every claim, including the alleged breach of equality law because they, quote, either didn't happen, or if they did, they were innocuous interactions in the normal course of employment. The judge added that Conagan exhibited a, quote, not pervasive at all, a conspiracy theory mentality and misinterpreted quote normal workplace interactions as harassment. By the way, great opinion written by the Tribunal. Well, and I love that they give some examples so you can go, okay. The example offered, one of them I guess, was when Conaghan wrote, whiz, W-H-I-Z, in

a co-worker's card and then claimed another colleague was copying her when they used whiz, W-H-I-Z, in a coworker's card, and then claimed another colleague was copying her when they used whiz with two Zs in a different card. Oh, this woman's very sick. Separate Z, dude! Yes. Extra Z means it's original. Now I'm adjusting my shoe. The Guardian reported.

Strings coming out. They look great. The Guardian reported she also complained after a coworker asked her, are you taking the piss, Karen? A popular British term meaning making fun of somebody. Making fun of, joking, goofing around. Taking the piss out of.

The Tribunal heard that this was after Conaghan suggested that she, quote, had done all the hard work and it was his turn to do some. And so she was like, I do all the hard work and now it's your turn. He's taking the piss, Karen. Yeah, yeah, you're just trying to wind me up. Right? Conaghan. Sexual harassment. Yeah. Conaghan moved to Richmond, North Yorkshire in September, 2021. This is important because it is expected that all employees live within two hours of the office of Heathrow. So she moved

outside of the radius that they tell you when you get hired. Do that. They should have given her a goodbye card. Yes. She was then made redundant the same year as part of a restructuring of the organization. With colleagues saying in evidence that many people also left around the same time.

So it's not even just her. It's not just you. The restructuring. So the sexual harassment, is it all about the card? Or are there other allegations of, is the card's one thing? The card is one of 40. I think she said taking the piss was a sexual harassment, is it all about the card or are there other allegations of, is the card's one thing? The card is one of 40. I think she said taking the piss was a sexual harassment.

Yeah. Taking, are you sucking my piss into your mouth? That's how I would reason it. That's a different. Are you sucking my piss? Spreading my piss all over you. Like a golden shower. Rachel, I don't think you're saying it right.

Someone deadpan saying that to you, not even suggestively. I would, I'd be like, I gotta go to lunch. Are you dripping the piss? No, stop, everybody. Don't shame me. I'm not gonna call the episode that. No, just in all, taking the piss is not the episode. Okay, thank you.

Dripping the piss, though. Dripping the piss. Wiz, wiz. Wiz, wiz. Okay, that's different. Judge Palmer. Wiz, wiz is, I guess, a euphemism for taking the piss, though. Wiz, wiz. Wiz, wiz. Okay, that's different. Judge Palmer. Wiz, wiz is, I guess, a euphemism for taking the piss. By the way, the odds are pretty good

that she's into piss play. If she considers that sexual harassment. Absolutely, yes. Yeah, because it's on the table. I take, I believe women. This particular woman, I think, has some problems. She's making it hard. She's making it 40. 40 times over.

Well it's with Fran Lebowitz. She was like, she's like, I'm not saying we have to believe all women, but I'd like if our society got to a point where we investigated the claims made by all women. Yes, yes. She's like, I'm into that. Just get into it.

Which they did, they totally did here. I think this is great. Judge Palmer said that although further signatures were gathered, so she ended up getting more. Although further signatures were gathered on the leaving card after her departure, a former colleague took the view that, quote, it was inappropriate to send such a card to her

at a later date as she had raised a grievance against him and another colleague. So they're like, look, she's gone. If we send her this, she's gonna somehow be pissed at me again. Also, it's like if she's saying you harassed me, mailing her a card. Do not.

Extra harassment. Do not. That's like, if someone's mad at you and you do something really nice to them, that's like the worst thing you can do. They can't. And stuff is horrible, because it just so delegitimizes actual

I know. Cases of harassment. Oh my God. Forget about it. Come on, lady. But that's why I'm glad that they is horrible because it just so delegitimizes actual cases of harassment. Oh my God, forget about it. But that's why I'm glad that they still looked into it all. Because even on the surface, somebody is saying, I'm suing because I didn't get a card, you'd be like, okay, we're still gonna look into this, but I'm already feeling like, what are we really doing here?

It's good, wait, really quick, are you listening to that podcast Kill List? No. Whole podcast about basically, I'll try to sum it up. I'm gonna spoil a little bit of Kill List. No. Whole podcast about basically, I'll try to sum it up. I'm gonna spoil a little bit of Kill List for anyone who cares. This journalist has a friend who's a hacker. He hacked into a site on the dark web

that is a Hitman for hire website. He somehow hacked into the user, like the site admin, so he can see all of the Hitman requests. Now the site itself is a scam. It's like send us all this cryptocurrency. They never actually send a hitman, but there's a case where one of the requests on the site,

the man just ended up saying fuck it and murdering his own wife. He sees this, okay. Oh my God. So the podcast is about trying to contact everyone who's on this kill list to be like, listen, there isn't a hitman coming for you, but someone in your life wants you dead.

He's really considering how to get this done. Yeah. A large conting considering how to get this done. Yeah. A large contingent of people on this list are women being by an ex. And the amount to which when they, and this male journalist sees it firsthand where he's like the amount that they are laughed at, that the police are like, this sounds like a spy novel.

And he's like, oh my God, that the fact that violence against women is, this is violence against women, right? And it's being laughed at is really shocking. So look, I'm glad they investigated. I'm glad they investigated, yes. I hate that it has to be like fuckery like this, but part of me would love if they called up the officer,

the sergeant, whatever answers, and they're like, we just need to know your daughter or your wife is on this list. And then when the cop's like, all right, well, here's what we're gonna do. Be like, oh, wait, oh, actually, I read this wrong. It's actually just a woman who lives in your town, but we're still gonna,

when you thought it was your daughter, remember how we felt? We're still gonna do that for the woman you've daughter, remember how we felt, we're still gonna do that for the woman you've never met? Yes. Yeah. Like just like. My daughter wouldn't make stuff up

but every other woman would. It's like in Promising Young Woman when she pranks, pranks, it's not really a prank, she basically makes it seem like she sent the dean of the school's daughter off to be assaulted at a frat party and then, yeah. Yeah. So I just think the court itself,

when this case leaves, should send the woman a card. Yes. Absolutely. Sorry about your loss. Signed by everyone on the court. Signed by everyone. The stenographer, Dolan's card, the jury, the whole tribunal.

It was a pleasure having you in court. Just was a pleasure having you in court. Yeah, and end it with this quote. This is the last thing I'll say. There was no evidence to suggest any of the allegations were related to anything that she had said or indicative of any of her allegations. Quote, it was a view of normal interactions being something more sinister. And that's it.

Put that on the card. Yeah, and anyone who has interactions with this woman where it's difficult, just read the court. Read the court filing who has interactions with this woman where it's difficult, just read the court. Yeah. Read the court filing and read the court file. Or also to everybody else, when someone's leaving, they're already out there, just sign the fucking card. Sign that, great.

Just be like, cool, stay cool in school, see you next summer. All right, well let's take a break. When we come back, we'll talk about Rachel's special, which, death let me do my special. Correct. It's so good. Thank you.

And we'll talk about that and what Dan has going on after the break, it's Not People Town. Look at that car. With Rachel Bloom, we'll take a break. We'll be right back. Find out at all. Stick around, make a sound. There's more to Not People Town.

Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Before we get to Rachel's great special, Daniel, please let people know, I know you have a new podcast here on this network called The Midnight Air, which is awesome. It's an overnight podcast that is just what you network called the midnight air We're not honestly overnight podcasts That is just what you find on the radio when you're driving across country or you hope to find when you can't go to sleep Talking about emails from listeners running down things like the 10 best Halloween costumes

Or Halloween candy best Halloween candy Snickers wasn't even on the list top which I'm not saying it has to be number one But I was very I think they did Reese's as a whole thing. Because it's Reese's, Reese's. Oh, Reese's is a thing that the East Coasters say, right? Reese's Pieces. Reese's? You guys say Reese's. Well, I'm Reese's.

Born and bred, Northern Illinois, Rodeo-Rosie, all the way up here. Reese's, Reese's, Reese's. I just say it the way it's supposed to be said. Reese's Pieces. We say Reese's, but anyway. I got Paul F. Tompkins on my team. It's a Reese's monkey.

I think it's a regional thing, right? It's like pop and soda. Pop's very Midwest. Hoagie. Yeah. Frap. Hagee. Yeah.

You getting gay gay today? Get gay gay. Why don't you get in here and grab a hug? Listen to Men Out Air. It's a good time with me for about an hour every week. So what is the number one, okay, best Halloween costume. Are you saying the most common or like just like- Of 2024, what are the top Halloween costumes?

This is a great thing to run through because yeah make anything funny i think so good i'm having a hard time remembering number one maybe i don't remember just give me a taste of number two is uh what's her name the australian break dancer reagan which i think is just going to be a whole bunch of repurposed squid game you could have done on snl you could have been that reagan oh yeah i. I don't know who it is. Oh, the girl, the Australian break dancer. Oh, she was in the Olympics? Yeah, the Olympics. Yeah, she was in it.

Our joke is she got a 0.0. That means we all tied her. And we weren't in the Olympics. Yeah. So, the midnight air, every Monday night, right here on All Things Comedy. And then you can see my show, my stand-up show, the first Wednesday of every single month.

It's Overshare Comedy. The comics start their set with overshares of embarrassing moments from the audience that they submit before the show starts. It's a super fun show. It's right on Fairfax next to Cantor's. And then- Oh, the Kibitz Room?

Yeah, well no, it's next to, it's like two buildings down. Bespoke LA. Yeah, Bespoke LA. And then come see me live. I'm headlining on Thursday, the 14th of November at the Flyover Comedy Festival in St. Louis. Everything else is up at danielvankirk.com. Go watch my movie, go watch Rose Bowl.

Headlining. Headlining, good times. All right, so Rachel, I love the special so much and I watch it with two other people. And of course, I mean, I was like, man, what, because we've seen you do standup. I'm like, it could be your standup. But I'm so glad that like,

I was really glad that it was so much more. And it was like serious in many ways and you carried the weight of it so well. I don't wanna give anything away. So I wanna try and tiptoe around because I want people to see it. I don't wanna get. I want people to see it,

but I want people to be intrigued enough to, Oh, I'll intrigue them. Click on it on Netflix and then watch that whole thing. You know, even if you don to see it, but I want people to be intrigued enough to click on it on Netflix. And then watch that whole thing. Even if you don't dig it, it's important to complete the special on Netflix or the algorithm. They don't take the attention. It's really important. It's such a beautifully handled special.

And there's so many, theatrically done, there were so many great little things that were done that made it so great. Like the set, you know which moment I'm talking about. It's beautiful and as we're writing and performing, we put it up a couple times, we've been readjusting it, a two man show for ourselves. I was like, it was inspiring to me

and it gave me hope for what we were doing with ours because I'm like, oh, I think we're doing some things in the same kind of general direction of what you did in yours and it made me very happy with what we were doing with ours because I'm like, oh, I think we're doing some things in the same kind of general direction of what you did in yours and it made me very happy with what we did. Do you have a director? Yeah, Evan Shapiro directed it. And yeah, I mean, it's like. Who did yours?

Seth Barish. Oh yeah. He does all of Mike Rubiglia's stuff. Cause the set design really came, I was touring with it for a little bit, the set design came when we went off Broadway. And you can get some actual, like theater money is a kind of oxymoron,

but you can get theater money behind doing that and getting an actual set designer. Totally, I just thought it was so genius in so many ways, but it is fantastic, obviously it's in the title, but like dealing with a difficult subject of death and obviously about how would you, what's the log line that you tell people like, it's about the birth of your daughter?

I would say it's about like, probably like the most intense and worst shits on my daughter. So I would say like the most intense slash kind of worst, like two weeks of my life that happened in 2020. I'd say most difficult. Difficult is a good, yeah. Most difficult two weeks of your life in one of the most difficult periods of time

in our country, in our like nation's history. Like when you were forced to face death in a moment where you could no longer look away. Yes. Yeah, that's a great way to say it. Yeah. Really, should I be on the PR tour? Yeah. Can we come around?

Yeah. Hey, we're gonna take this. Scars aren't in this show, but they're gonna tell you what it's about. And then you're gonna watch their one man show after this. One man, two men, two men. No, no, no, I think it should be both of you guys in the same shirt.

And one has one arm, the other has the other arm. Our show is called The Born Identity. B-O-R-N. I think the crazy thing about that time though of what you're going through is the stuff, because of what was happening in the world, the stuff we could rely on were also question marks beyond the question marks we had with what we're dealing with. Our baseline was fucked. To the smallest level of going to the doctor, going to a hospital, and being able to say, you're going to come in with me, right? And that got taken away for so many. And that's the

thing of like, I don't know what's going to be said in here. I don't know what's going to come from this test. I don't know what's going to happen. But to be able to say, but you're going to come in with me. Like everything is put into question beyond the questions of what is happening. The maternity ward is being turned into a COVID holding. Which I still can't believe that they did. I mean, that is 100% true. Basically, they turned one, my daughter was born,

they want the same floor, they turned half of the floor into a COVID patient section of the hospital. I don't know why. That does seem like a... And your child's in the NICU. It's like, what are we doing? Yeah, and we all ended up, I mean, this isn't special. We all ended up getting COVID in December 2020,

including her. She was fine. She just had a little diarrhea. My husband had it the worst. That's why I want everyone to know about my baby's diarrhea. Yeah, I mean, let's get into it. That's what it was to consist. I think we can know, there's a company

that'll send her a card for that. Exactly. So I love it. That's all it was. I think we can know, there's a company that'll send her a card for that. So I love it. I mean, it just was like, again, super beautiful and cool and the music was amazing. The songs were great. All of them and varied and different. Like, did you start, like when did you write the songs in the process of this whole thing?

Darling, Meet Me Under the Cum Tree is like, just to spoil it, I say that I started to write a special in 2018, 2019, that is true. That's the one vestige of the thing that I was writing in 2018, 2019. It's just a silly song about trees that smell like cum, but it ends up being almost the point of existence, I guess, is part of the point of the special.

Spookiest, scariest ghost was always really important to the show because that's how I feel about ghosts. Like as an atheist who doesn't want to be an atheist. The Rainbow Bridge. Rainbow Bridge was like, I was like, oh we need a song here, and I was already doing a bit about the Rainbow Bridge and I was like, this bit actually need a song here. And I was already doing a bit about the Rainbow Bridge and I was like, this bit actually becomes a song.

And then there was the Dear Evan Hansen song. And then, I mean, probably the last song in the show was the final song because it's the point of the show. And I'd been kind of writing around this thing. And once we realized that was the point of the show. And I've been kind of writing around this thing. And once we realized that was the point of the show, everything in the show then, that wasn't leading to that point kind of got cut out.

Oh yeah, so that is, so I feel like the writing of the show was baked into the point of the show. And you putting the show together, from a meta point of view, as we're putting a show together, was I could see you struggling with that and you used it in the best possible way. Yeah, like what's the point, what's the debate? What's the point, what's the point of the show,

what am I trying to say? All that stuff you figure out on stage in such a beautiful way. Is your show based on the story you did on This American Life? Yes, so that's kind of on the spine, but it's really- I love that being the spine. Yeah, thank you.

Well, I wanna talk to you off air about all that because I'm just from a creative standpoint because we love your feedback. Is this American life gonna produce? And we can cut it, okay. No, no, we'll get it all then. Our show's a show about identity. It's great.

And about why we're in a moment where we're more concerned about our identities than we ever have in the past, and yet we are choosing to simply curate our identities online instead of create them in real life. Ooh, I love that. And so for us, our story was that we found out exactly who we were through the choice to become parents,

which you think is kind of anti, kill your identity, but in essence, we found out who we were. Wow. Okay, should I jump into a story? Yes, it's beautiful. Anyway, one more time so people can watch the entire special. It's called Death Let Me Do My Special.

That's so good. And it is on. Netflix. Netflix. Wait, I had another name. Is it pronounced Netflix? Netflix. Okay. I had another name.

I was thinking as I was. Reese's Netflix. Reese's, Reese's, Fleek's. As I was meditating this morning, I was thinking of another name for the special, not that it matters and it could never be done. But it's, oh shoot, okay. Oh, Doom and Bloom.

Okay, here we go. You ready? Here we go. This is sent in by Carly McDermid at SheBeCarly. A great person who sends in stories. Here's the headline. Woman's quote missing husband returns to Vegas hotel room with $6,000 in strip club charges he says he didn't make.

Where were you, babe? No story here. I was tracking down my credit card, which must have gone to a strip club. Someone took my credit card over to Crazy Horse. $6,000? So how long was he missing? Someone took your credit card over to Crazy Horse.

No one said what the strip club was. I mean, I found the report. I got a call from American Express. They didn't even know where it was. Babe, I got a call from. $6,000? I can't believe someone took my credit card. I wanna hear how this became news.

This is great. So during the couple's. $6,000 is a strip club. Did you put someone through grad school? We just, maybe. We just went through, we just went to Vegas. How much is a lap dance in a private room Saturday night in Vegas?

500? I don't, never been, probably 500. 300 bucks? I've been a couple. A thousand? I have, I just don't know. It might be a, look. Six dances.

If it's Saturday night. 12 songs. Maybe you get two women. Two, yeah. Yeah. Six private room lap dances. Champagne room dances. So at this point, Rachel Bloom is saying,

this guy's thinking this is not worth it. Like it wasn't enough. Around song four, buddy. During a couple's last trip to Las Vegas, a woman wakes up to- It's a lot of songs. You could honestly play every song from my special. Yes!

Can you imagine someone stripping to Rainbow Bridge? All right, a woman wakes up to find her husband gone and his phone's location services found off. That's bad. You're gone. And the location. Why is it on airplane mode for an hour 45 before the questions keep coming after he returns

to her room intoxicated beyond comprehension. A woman is taken to reddit. If you get separated from your partner for more than 30 minutes in Vegas, assume that that person is gone from your life. We did a story once of two people that were having sex on the Ferris wheel in Vegas. One of them was there with their partner

and they hadn't met before they got on the Ferris wheel. Oh wow. Talk about her. And it takes 30 minutes to go around that high roller Ferris wheel. Well you only need two. it. And it takes 30 minutes to go around that high roller Ferris wheel. Well, you only need two. It's kind of beautiful. A woman has taken to Reddit,

I mean, if you're excited, to ask for the advice about her marriage after her husband went MIA on their last trip to Vegas. I'd say it's not going great. Right, so we're gonna get- How long did he go MIA? So we're gonna find out. So the woman, we're gonna get to her age at the end.

Oh no, we're gonna get to her age. At the end, we'll find out how old she is. Says she woke up at what time to find her husband not there? What time is she? 4 a.m. 4 a.m., what do you think? 2.30. She woke up at noon.

Ooh, that's nice. What time she woke up to find her husband, if he's missing. It's also Vegas, they could've gone, like she could've gone back to the room at three or four in the morning and he stayed out. Day bar. Right, so she woke up at 2 a.m. to find her husband. Still hadn't returned though.

Well she wasn't enjoying Vegas properly. Right, 2 a.m. is not that late. She's already asleep. What are you doing asleep? She's already gone a REM cycle. Yeah. That means she went to sleep at like 11. Why did you go to Vegas?

Dude, we just went and did a show in Vegas, a stand up show in Vegas at Wise Guys, then went out to the arts district and had a meal at Elizabeth Esther's Kitchen, which was incredible, then went back to Caesar's Palace and got in to see Fisher, the DJ, which he went on at like two in the morning.

And our flight was at 6.30. And we were cruising. And we're 52. And we were rolling. Shut up, all right? So here we go. She explained on the site, it's relationship advice subreddit,

that the pair were in a great place in their marriage. If you have to say it. Is it true? What did Walter Payton say? When you're good, you tell everyone. When you're great, they tell you. But tell anyone how great your relationship is. But isn't it great?

Maybe she meant like on the day they got married. They're about to celebrate their how many year anniversary. Oh boy. What is gonna inform age? Maybe. Could be a late. Right.

Oh. What anniversary? I'm gonna go, I'll let you go first. I'm gonna guess it's one year. One year, what do you think? Six years. Jay? 10.

Okay, get your answers in townies. Four year anniversary. Oh boy. But after the trip she doesn't know what to do next. Read, so the woman's husband goes missing during our vacation. I woke up at 2 a.m. to find my husband missing. Location off, thousands of charges from a strip club

on our bank account. Like she went straight to the bank account. That's how you know. So wait, bank, was he using a debit card? Probably. That's so lame. Or maybe like used Apple. Oh, the ATM.

The ATM. If I put my phone right by your vagina, it'll just like go right on. Do you have Venmo? Can I just swipe this card through your ass? That's actually really smart. Right, my husband and I looked at- Put a little QR code on your pulse.

Can I tap that ass to- Your Venmo QR code is on your inner thigh. And then she swings her ass around to say, do you want a tip? All right, my husband and I looked at last minute getaway Vegas for a couple of nights. We arrived yesterday. We had tickets to see a show last night.

I wanted to get into more about that. But after a long day of drinking in the heat. So no, no, no, people, this is what we said on stage in Vegas. Vegas, for regular people, for non Amish people, is their rum springspringer. It is redneck rum-springer. They come to Vegas to destroy themselves.

Randy and I were playing golf. We got there and we said, we have nothing to do all day. Let's get on and exercise, or whatever, golf, it's fun. We got on the course. We start playing up into this couple in front of us, and they're like, John, why don't you join us? Great.

This big guy who looked like Mini Gronk, his sweet, cool wife, they were from Calgary, they were so nice. He was the nicest people ever. He two holes in, he pulls out of his bag a funnel, cracks open a beer, shotguns it, and drinks the entire beer while his wife films it. And we're in here, she's gonna be like,

oh Scotty, don't do that. But she was like a hockey buddy. She was like, go get it, Scotty. Go on, Scotty, go on, Scotty, go get it. Now that's a great marriage. That's a great marriage. I love them. But yeah, we love them.

Love them. Cool, let's go, Scotty. Come on, Scotty. And Ran and I were like, these guys are gonna get it. And this is like 2.30 in the afternoon. Like when's your show tonight? We're like, it's probably gonna be too late. We're like, it's canceled.

I really, if you show up, I really don't want you to show up. So how drunk you're gonna be in six afternoon. When's your show tonight? We're like, it's probably gonna be too late. We're like, it's canceled. If you show up, I really don't want you to show up. With how drunk you're gonna be in six hours. So they were drinking? No, no, but the best part of the whole night is that night we went and did our show. We met our buddy at the Cosmopolitan. We went into Momofuko, the guy we were with,

knew the chef, so they just are bringing us stuff. I had like a one third of this super powerful gummy. We were walking around to find one pie goud table where our friends started playing. We walked through the whole casino and we're just standing behind. I'm really high, looking over. We're talking about it and all of a sudden this guy,

two seats away is like, don't let those two Jews in this thing. And we're like, what? And it was the golf guy? It was Scotty. Scotty! He was still upright. Wasted.

Wasted. Only a bit. Had you previously had an inside joke about you being in the right shape? So on the course, I said, I hit a really good shot and I was like, I'm gonna put some good juju on your shot. And he was like, I don't think you can say that. And I was like, absolutely.

Here comes the speech about what we can't say anymore. I was like, absolutely we can. You're telling me right now that you're against cancel culture, fine. But I was like, absolutely we can. You're telling me right now that you're against cancel culture, fine. But I was like, it's J-U-J-U, let me just tell you that. But, and then I felt the need to say this out loud, so we didn't go too far. Word Jewish.

Word Jewish, so I could say it. But he's like, oh, I got a friend named David Juha, or Ron Juhaus, and we call him the Jew on the course. And I'm like, is he Jewish? Like, no, and I'm like, I don't really need to know what's going on in Calgary. We don't have to get, let's not litigate that, right? But I was also like, you're a nice guy.

Vanessa, go grab another beer. Why don't you grab him another beer, and he'll shock on it. We were like, hey, look, this is not a mean guy. He doesn't have negative intent. Maybe we can help him understand what's right and what's wrong, but we don't really care. And I'm like, he's not, but, and then later I think he felt, he was so drunk and he felt like he could be like,

these two Jews, because we talked about Jews, and we're like, all right, all right. That's crazy. But it was crazy of all the, of all the tables, and all the vegans, and all the vegans, he sits at this one, all right, so. And his wife was not there. No, he was, so we're like, where's V?

He's like, I don't know. That's great. So, all right, so she woke up at 2 a.m. to discover her husband was not there. The show that they went to was- Which means they went hard all day because he said because of the heat. All day. Although it's Vegas,

it could have been 100 years ago. The show was literally at our hotel, so I started to panic. I go to check his location, it's off. Then I text him to ask him where he was. Well, they were supposed to go to a show. No, they went to a show. They must have gotten out of the show.

Oh, no, he went to the show. I think she fell asleep. And then- Either way. After the show, they split up. Then I have gotten out of the show. Or no, he went to the show. I think she fell asleep. And then. Either way. After the show, they split up. Then I text him asking where he is. He's not gonna see, what is the show? He's not gonna see Penn and Teller by himself or whatever. That's right.

He reads the text but doesn't respond to it. I call him several times. What the fuck, dude? And he sends me to voicemail. While I was trying to get ahold of him, I see that there are two separate charges for how much money from a strip club? Two separate charges.

Two separate charges. From the strip club. From the strip club for. Wouldn't it be 3K? Nope. $6,000. No, it's 1,000 a piece from the strip club. He didn't respond to me until nearly 3 a.m.

So that's a lap dance. That's a... Maybe a bottle too. Maybe bottle service. He texted me that he was on his way back at 3 a.m. Finally he arrives 30 minutes later, he stumbles in the room, absolutely obliterated. He tries to lie and say he was just gambling down the strip.

Fucking idiot. And he never went to a strip club, even though the charges were literally made with Apple Pay and he had lost his phone. Then started investigating further, going through his receipts, put together our own timeline of events. One bad Apple Pay.

So we see he's not allowed to go to strip clubs, right clearly I'm assuming I don't like because Say who you are in your relationship I like claim who you come with our strip and what you want to be and if you go Well, if I tell my wife I want to go party together or on my own at a strip club. She might leave me Well, oh so we'll give her the opportunity because the golf course guy told his wife, I wanna do beer bongs on the golf course.

And she said, go get it, Scotty. Go get it, Scotty. Yeah, this is a deeper, this is a deeper rot within the marriage that they're just being dishonest. Or, and I'm gonna say this, I think truthfully, if it's just like a straight up relationship and someone who maybe grew up in a more

repressed household or whatever in their life, they're not gonna say go to a strip club. Or someone who's worried about the tenuousness of the relationship. That's what I think. That's what I think it is. Don't lie. She's putting together receipts and a timeline of events.

This guy's so, again, if he knows this is, because there are some people I know who are triggered by strip clubs because they have parents who cheated on the other parent and they're like, strips clubs are cheating. And that like, it's an issue. You gotta talk about that stuff. So I'm also curious, how big of an issue is this in America? So she's claiming the evidence showed her husband

had been at the strip club for nearly five hours, confirming that he was five hours in the strip club. At that point, employees know your name. Five hours in a strip club. Jesus. Five hours. At that point employees know your name. So he- You could overhear Mike. You're watching people switch shifts. Yeah shifts, you've seen shifts.

You know that there are two DJs who work in that. If you have to watch a stripper be shadowed by another stripper and say, all right, I'm training her in. Like that's- You're spending $1,200 an hour? Right, so he went through from the show. Set a couple lap dances out. 40 minutes after my first where are you text.

This is crazy. I also checked all of our accounts and all the charges made settle as they are. He'll have spent nearly, we said, $6,000. He swears he didn't cheat on me and says nothing sexual happened. So is he admitting he went to the strip club? Yeah, at this point.

Though I can only imagine the situations you find yourself in after five hours in the strip club, especially when you're intoxicated beyond comprehension. I feel like I never truly know what happened and that alone is the most painful part. Right, because he tried to deceive you and did. But it's also what do you think cheating is? Like do you consider cheating a woman

watching, grinding on you. grinding on his erection. If you consider that cheating, that's cheating. Because that's what a strip club is. That is, you can't touch, all right? So we've been together for seven years and married for, like we said, four in just a couple of months.

As far as I was aware, we're in a great place in our marriage and there haven't been any issues of infidelity in the past. This is completely out of character. I'm absolutely crushed and deeply disappointed. He was reckless with our money, which he was. That's actually like $6,000 fucking dollars. That's a lot of money.

Fuck you. Right? It hurts. Five thousand things with that. The fact that we are on a solo trip together instead of coming back to me and literally doing anything else he chose to go to the strip club.

This marriage is over. This is over. I don't think they talk about it. Reddit did not hold back from giving other truthful opinions on whether he cheated or not. There are over 2,500 comments. Oh, so what she wants to know. Is from the Reddit community.

So it's not about like, it's not about my communication things in our marriage. It's like, he was five hours at a strip club, spent $6,000. What does that mean? Did he get a blow job? Right, exactly. Did someone touch him?

All right. For $6,000, I kind of hope he did. She said, right, so. For $6,000, I kinda hope you did. She said, okay, simple to fix. $6,000? Dispute the charge so that. You could have bought 1200 farewell cards. A lot of them, I just, I feel like those, they really, it's, the lap dances are really intimate, but like they have a, if you're like, I don't know,

maybe this is naive, and I don't go to strip clubs a ton, but like,'re like, I don't know, maybe this is naive, and I don't go to strip clubs a ton, but like, they're, I don't know, a lot of those legit places I think are pretty good about like, yeah, you keep your hands at your sides. Touch. You're not allowed to touch it. There are dudes walking around to make sure you get it. Who will bust your neck in if you get handsy?

It's security for the women. For the women. So to be honest though, you have to know that dropping 6K, turning off location, and leaving you on red is denying you. At the beginning, didn't you say, Randy, she said, is my marriage in danger? Yes, and so people are.

Another said, leave him to the amount he spent alone. If he didn't cheat for $6,000, he's dumb. Leave him anyway. That was actually pretty good. But a different comment said, it's Vegas. He's, he a hundred percent got extra services. And another suggested that she should dispute the charges and demand an STD test I don't know if a lot of I think that's really I think I mean these strippers in Vegas. They're they're fucking professional

They are tested they earn thousands and thousands dollars just from these lap dances I don't know you go to a divorce lawyer. There's you go from here. Another responder said well another added I'm so sorry you went through this, something very similar happened to me, right down to the $6,000 amount, oh my God. And I divorced him shortly after, and it was the best decision I could have made, not to say every situation is the same, she has not shared any updates,

what do we, last thing, we'll never do their ages, what do we think they should do, should they get divorced or go through counseling? Counseling. Counseling. Yeah. Because when she's like, this is so out of character, the full sentence is, this is so out of character

for how I know him. You guys need to have a real like, who are you, who am I? I guess there's so many follow up questions, like if it's out of character, is he an alcoholic? Right, right. Number one, is that part of? Also like, okay, I have a friend,

it is possibly boss six bottles. Actually in Vegas who swears that he got roofied. Yeah, I believe that. I did in Vegas. Oh really? Yeah. No, so like if someone's trying to. My friend, I won't say what strip club it was,

but like I was there. It makes it sound like I go to strip clubs all the time. Oh yeah, Rachel. You have a residency at. Yeah, well check me out. Well you used to do that show at Jumbo's Climb. It was just improv, it wasn't even. Yeah, it was weirdly just. It's hilarious. You need Climb. It was just improv, it wasn't even. Yeah it was weirdly just.

It's hilarious. You need a location. It was musical improv but that's it. Pasties. But they got Ruby to add a strip club in Vegas. He swear, like the next day I saw him and he's like, I've never been this hungover. He's like, I had one drink, I think.

And apparently this happens where it's strippers or it's the club putting stuff in drinks so that you'll just get wasted. keep paying thousands and thousands of dollars. Yeah, oh yeah, so that's crazy. So anyway, we're gonna get on this. How old is she and how old is he? Let's start with her. How old is she?

They married four years. Been together seven. You go first, Rachel. What do you think, Rach? I don't wanna steal it if you feel like you have a good one. 24. 24? Wow. I'm gonna say she's 31. Jay? She's 34.

Okay. Get your answers in, Downeyes, because she is 28 years old. Oh, yeah. How old is the guy? Old 6K and so. Okay, wait, they've been together seven years, so. I'm gonna stick with 31. 31? She's 28, he's 31, how old is he? Ooh, ooh, they've been together seven years. So I'm gonna stick with 31 31. She's 28. He's 31. How old is he? 64 you want to go way high? Oh, you never know

He's he's also 28 28. Oh, okay. What do you think 35? Get your answers in town. He's one of you is one year off So if you want to go I'll go down to 30, okay And you want to go stay you want to go up or down what I say I'll go down to 30. Okay, and you wanna go stay, you wanna go up or down. What did I say? Oh, I'll go, I'll go, I'll stay. Do you, it's one up or down. You gotta go up.

Oh, oh, oh, I gotta go one up or one down? 27 or 29. He's 29. 36. You said 35. Okay, get your answers in, Townies, because he is 34 years old. Jay, you went the wrong way, Jay. You went the wrong way, Jay.

You went the wrong way. When we come back, one more story. Give us a little taste of what we're gonna see, Jay, or hear. We're staying in the lap dance. Let's stay in the lap of luxury. It's Dumb People Town with Rachel Bloom. We'll tell you what we have going on right after this. Stick around, make a sound.

There's more Dumb People Town. Hey guys, are you trying to find a gift for a group of people? If you come from a big family, it can be hard and expensive to buy each one a personal gift for the holidays. Planning to celebrate the holidays with your friend group, wanna surprise them all with something

a bit more special and meaningful than like a bottle of booze. We got the perfect gift for you. This is a gift that we have given for the holidays and it is continuously the greatest gift that we've ever given someone. Skylight Frame. I love these guys.

It's a touch screen digital photo frame. Your whole family will love. You upload thousands of photos with your phone and watch them appear in seconds. We have done this for our mom. I'm telling you right now, it gives a little ding on her frame when we send photos.

Let her know that we send photos. So when I take photos in my life of my kids, we're playing golf, there's a special moment, we're on a hike. I take that picture, I immediately quickly send it to her frame, and my mom, our mom is in on our lives. She's connected to us in that moment. Frame sits in her living room,

and all the new pictures rotate in. First of all, easy to use. Setup takes less than 60 seconds, seamless sharing. Invite friends and family to share photos in there too. Very easy to do if you can care. Either the Skylight mobile app or email. Again, this is such a good gift. Touchscreen is a game changer on the actual frame.

Swipe through the photos, tap to see new photos sent. I have the Skylight calendar, which is amazing too. They make such good products. Two sizes on the frame to choose from. The original 10 inch or larger 15 inch gallery frame. I will tell you, we've given our mom a ton of gifts through the years. This is her favorite gift we've ever gotten her. Absolutely.

And now as a special limited time offer for our listeners, get $20 off your purchase of a Skylight frame when you go to skylightframe.com slash dpt. That's S-K-Y-L-I-G-H-T-F-R-A-M-E dot com slash dpt. Get $20 off Jay of your purchase now at skylight frame.com slash DPT that's $20 off a skylight frame at skylight frame.com slash DPT. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Uh, before we jump into this final story and again, please watch Rachel's all the way to the end, her special on Netflix Death Let Me Do My Special. Actually the credits are very

I don't know if you caught the credits but there are some nice baby dog pictures in the credits. I mean I love your dog so much. I don't want to give anything away. Dog Shrine unbelievable and I have the same like we have painted pictures of our bulldog from Etsy unbelievable. Do you tell your kids that I mean we tell that Wiley is her sister? But also her guardian angel the concept of and I don't want to get into don't I don't have a concept of your attitude Towards your dog that is like I've never heard it said before and I loved it I always love when a new concept is brought up and I'm like I never heard it I absolutely love it. So it's so good for us. You can come see us

I we don't know when this is dropping if this is dropping before we go to I could never heard it, absolutely love it. So it's so good. For us, you can come see us. We don't know when this is dropping, if this is dropping before we go to Fort Collins, we'll be in Fort Collins at the Comedy Fort and then two weeks later we'll be with Dan at the Flyover Comedy Festival in St. Louis. Sheldon Theater on Saturday night. It's like six, 700 seats.

Let's try and fill that thing, please. And then the night before we're doing Tag It, which you did in Montreal, which was so much fun, where you did your set and then we pitched you tags. Oh yeah, God, I wish I'd written down. I'm sure I have it somewhere in my phone. Well, you know, I don't think, did I tell you? No, I don't think I told you.

When I did that show, I was one week pregnant. Oh, I didn't know that. So I got my, so I, we fucked when I ovulated. I knew exactly what was going on. Took the pregnancy test, positive, and I was like, I gotta go to Montreal in three days. And now go do this thing. And so I did your show.

You were great. And you were talking about your kids. We were talking about your kids, and I remember I was like, oh, I should tell them, but I was literally like a week. Yeah, you had to wait. Yeah, you gotta wait. You gotta wait.

No, no, I told so many other people. Ah, we didn't get it. It's hilarious. All right, well, so, superschoolers.com, and as we mentioned, we're doing our two-man show. We're gonna just do it three times at the Lyric Hyperion. It's small and it's a little help us.

I love that space. Figure out what we're gonna do. That's December 9th, 12th, and 16th. We're doing it at SketchFest on February 1st. Oh, oh, oh, I'll be at SketchFest a couple weeks before. Oh damn, so we're doing it at the Gateway, which used to be the Eureka Theater, which is really nice, so we're gonna do it there.

And then we do have people interested, and investors who are gonna pay us to kind of figure this thing out and probably take it to New York. We'll see kind of what the story is, but again, it's called The Board Identity. All of that at supersclarities.com. Jay, go ahead.

Okay, this, oh, I forgot to put who sent this in. I'm really sad. All right, someone sent this in, and I'm sorry. Here's the headline. Florida man almost died while getting a lap dance from his housekeeper. What? Was that Richard Simmons?

Almost. Almost died. Almost. I mean, that's a pretty good lap dance, am I right? He saw the light. He saw the light, and was like, I'm going back for more. Is his housekeeper an alligator? That's my question.

Good Lord. This is all right. This story is one for the books. This is definitely written by a blogger. Florida man almost died while getting a lap dance from his housekeeper. The incident happened in Tampa, St. Petersburg area. They're recovering.

I mean, I know. Shout out to Tampa. I hope you guys are okay. I hope you guys rebuild. This must have been before. It was before. It was before. But it was, she must have been a tour de force.

Yes, she definitely. In her own right. She herself was, and I mean this in the best possible way, started off as a category two and then wound up to be a category five. I was gonna make a, and then I was like, should we? No, we shouldn't. High powered thrusts?

Right, circular motion. It powered thrusts? Right. Circular motion. It's an event in their area, and a woman by the name of Sincerus Sammy. Warm front, okay, go ahead. That's right, Sincerus Sammy. The I of. Took to her TikTok to recap for us one of her most traumatic experience.

She is a topless maid. I was just about to ask. I was gonna say, is it topless maids? So here's our thing with topless maids. So do you call them on like certain things? I don't like that they have to clean too. Because then at some point you're like, hey, did you get behind the toilet?

Because that kind of gets a little bit, are you gonna have a normal cleaning discussion with a woman whose breasts are just out? Are you gonna be like, hey, don't forget. Because now it just feels like you're talking to someone who's shirtless. Right, topless is like some sensual thing. Shirtless is when you're like, hey up above

in the garage there's some swift or extra swift. Where's the fantastic, do you have any like just regular simple class? Oh we don't use Windex, there's a Trader Joe's version that's better for that. Now you're having a discussion about Windex with a woman who's breasts are out. I wonder how often they break,

like how good are they at cleaning? At cleaning, this is the question. She's gonna clean it up. If they're really doing, like if they're really working hard, like you're just getting sweat everywhere. I know, well. Boob sweat. Yeah, the best sweat.

Lord's, God's water as they call it. I'm sure she has all types of clients, but one of her favorite clients. Sorry, I'm just delayed to laugh for God's water, as they call it. I'm sure she has all types of clients, but one of her favorite clients. Sorry, I'm just delayed to laugh for God's water. The question is, when does a Roomba become also a sex doll? Sure, why not? She's getting in the corners. We'll get there, AI baby.

Oh, sorry, I just had an image of a topless woman riding two Roombas like rollerblades. Oh, yes. That would be fucking awesome. That is kinda great. Actually, she doesn't even have to be topless. I just wanna see someone ride Roombas like roller blades. That'd be it.

Right, exactly. I'd pay $6,000 for that. That's like Mad Max. All right, one of her favorite clients almost died on her. Sammy says that after cleaning his home, she was paid extra to give him a lap dance. So I'm sure this happens all the time. It's called dusting up, dust bunnies.

Yeah. What happened next is something she'll never thought. Dust bunnies is a very good rival business. Great, is the other one, the dust bunnies. Oh, next is something she'll never thought. Dust bunnies is a very good rival. Great, is the other one, the dust bunnies. Oh, that's fantastic. You gotta start that now. Playboy bunnies that also clean, but they're also topless dust bunnies.

Sammy, who is also popular on TikTok, always keeps us updated on her experiences. I mean, she does lead a pretty interesting life. Who, what? Go ahead. The blogger's a fan. I like it. She will also come to your home

and cut your grass topless as well. That, okay. That's an HOA violation. That's a like kids walking by in the neighborhood. That is a great flex. So I will tell you. You gotta have privacy measures. Got hot!

First thing I worry about, sunscreen. I hope she's using sunscreen all the time. I worry about the stray rock. Yeah. And I'm just gonna tease it. I'm gonna about sunscreen. I hope she's using sunscreen all the time. I worry about the stray rock. Yeah. And I'm just gonna tease it. I'm gonna tease it. This also reminds me of a great moment in her special. You have to watch the special.

You have to. Look, come on, give me five. You can't just mow any lawn. She mows like one thin strip in the middle in Brazilian mow. That's right. Look, my thing is like, you don't wax a front lawn.

Well, and like, can people walking by with their kids like now be mad at you? Because now there's a topless woman and you're out in your lawn. No. That's in their purview. It's in your line of sight. Yeah, you could get rung up for that.

Is that? I think you get dinged for that. It's public indecency. Like if you're fucking in front of an open studio. If you're outside, it's an exposure. You can't do that. When are you gonna, why are you gonna let her do the back lawn? Mowing the lawn's hard work.

I mean, I would- The way you get away with it is you have a prop baby under her. That's right. So you go, she was, how dare you? Is it a riding mower and she's just bouncing along? Yeah, I was wondering what would be better, a push or a ride?

Dan, the most satisfying thing I've seen on TikTok ever is the guy who goes up to these old houses and he's like, I'll mow your lawn for you. And they- He goes up to these fucking Jumanji houses. And he's, and they do the fast motion, the cleanup of the yard is most satisfying. We're in a business where things never get

to their conclusion. It is like the most satisfying. Industrial rug cleaning and also the vacuum, the vacuum glitter carpet stuff. That and the guy who cleans like his work, like the ASMR cleaning is also the vacuum, the vacuum glitter carpet stuff. That and the guy who cleans like his work, like the ASMR cleaning. So listen to this part of this which I think is, she makes about how much an hour?

This is the one guess. 350? I'm a way lower, 150. 150? 200. $200, get your answers in. This woman makes $300. That was close, 350.

And according to her, tips are out of this world. Yeah. Oh yeah. Just the tips. What I love about this is, this is how stupid men are, is they'll pay you money just for you to fucking dust badly with your tits out.

Yeah. It's like, if you get past the creep factor, it's like, oh. Do you know Christina Hutchinson and Corinne Fisher? They're so great. They have a great podcast in New York and they will sometimes talk to like sex workers and other people and I was listening to a podcast

where there's a woman who came on and she's like, I get paid to like, high powered men will call me and I will literally ignore them. They'll just talk and I will ignore them. Put the phone down and do my own cleaning, do my own stuff, and I get paid to basically ignore them and not care about them. Like they have so much power in the rest of their lives, they wanna call someone

and be ignored. I'm like, how do I get in on this? I'm ready to ignore somebody. Have you heard of FINDOM? Yeah, that's what I was gonna say too. But no. Financial domination? Let's go.

These guys give women control. It's just, it's just, yep, it's people who really get off on like, I'm gonna give you thousands of dollars and you just get money and you go like, oh, you fucking pathetic pig. Let's do it, let's do it. There's gotta be a gay version of that. You need a caller, take money. Can we jump on that? Can I get money and you go like, oh you fucking pathetic pig. I'm just like, I'm gonna get money for lunch.

Can we jump on that? Can I get money for lunch? Why can't we jump on the gay version? We can do it. I'd like to. Because your heart's not in it, that's why. My heart is so in it. If it's gonna pay for school for my kids.

Believe me, I read that a bad baby who's the girl who did Cash Me Outside on Dr. Phil, apparently in one year she earned $50 million on OnlyFans. I'm like, well. There's a girl who farted in a jar and made a lot of money. A ton of jars. Jar farts. I don't know.

Would it really be off-brand for me? No, that's in your wheelhouse. You could write a song about it, no. Jar farts, I want that song. Here we go. Sammy says that she usually has her bodyguard with her. But on this particular day she did not bring him. She knows this regular, he's one of her favorites.

One of her. She usually has her defibrillator with her. She's obviously old. She said on this particular day he did not come. Who? The bodyguard or the guy? That was a bad turn of the phrase. The bodyguard didn't. Bad turn of a phrase.

One of her show up. One of her Florida clients is a, one of her favorite clients is a Florida man who is, and they just give a decade of his age, so this is, I want you guys to see. In his what? 70s. 90s. 80s. No way.

One of you is exactly right. It's 90s. 70s. 90s. 80s. It's Daniel. 70s. Oh, it's not even that bad. And he pays her not only clean, but he likes to get lap dances as well. Okay, fine. So she gives her account, I put the account in the thing. I don't know.

He calls it his love seat. Is that wrong? Can you dust the love seat? So what we find out in the account when she talks, which we don't have to listen to her talk, but she reveals, no, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think she's just gonna retell the same story. She's gonna retell the story that we just broke down. Look, I'm not paying for her to talk, Rachel. Dust, less tack, and more dust. So the neighbor, it turns out, his neighbor, she reveals, his next door neighbor is his secret lover, which, does it need to be a secret?

Plot twist. I'm not sure. And that his life was saved, so he survived, and she still made her money, and look, the man must be a good lover because the neighbor tipped. The secret lover. The secret neighbor tipped Sammy.

How much? The stripper. How much money will get out of here on this? To save his life? You first. $1,000. I was gonna say 500. I was gonna say 1,002.

I'll go, what'd you say? I said five-hundo. Five-hundo? It'd be funny if it was just 100 bucks. So I'll go with that. 55. But I said five hundo. Five hundo? It'd be funny if it was just a hundred bucks. So I'll go with that. 50 bucks. I felt. One of you is exactly right.

500. There's no way it's me. I'm gonna jump over to a thousand. Get your answers in, watch her special. Death let me do my special, Rachel Bloom, watch it to the end, through the credits, it's so funny and so good. Watch Daniel's Rose Gold, let's get that.

Let's get that up over 100,000 on YouTube. And his movie Wine Club, which is still on Tubi, correct? Yeah. He's great in it. Come see all of us in St. Louis. Come see us in Fort Collins, wherever you are. Just superscars.com, danielvenkert.com. And they, this neighbor,

secret love. Secret love. Woman or man? Woman. I think it's a woman. Okay. Tipped this topless house cleaner who took a man to the brink of death with a lap dance. 1,000 points. Yay!

Yay! Great way to help people. She walks off a winner. That's what I would do. She walks off a winner. I like when someone has a walk off win. That's it. And Rachel Bloom hasn't done people time.

We welcome any time, we love you. That's great. And to our fans, we gotta get that to work. Easy. You guys ready for the lap dance? Yeah. See you guys later. love you, and to our fans, we gotta get back to work. See ya. You guys ready for the love notes? Yeah.

Yeah. Stick around, make a sound, there's more to People Town. What's up, all things comedy fans? This is Matt Walsh. My name's Timothy Simons. And we have a podcast on the channels here called Second in Command. We were formerly a Veep Rewatch podcast, but now.

We watch any movie with a president or vice president in it and we bring on an interesting, funny, cool person to talk about that movie. And this week, who do we have, Tim? We have star of stage and screen, Kristen Bell. You might know her from Veronica Mars, from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, from The Good Place or the more recent Nobody Wants This. And what movie did she pick, Tim?

She picked the 2006 movie Idiocracy, which has nothing to do with our current circumstances. No, no, it did not predict what we were going to live through starting January. Anyways, it's fun, and I'm really excited about this episode, so please check us out. Anyways, it's fun and I'm really excited about this episode, so please check us out. Yeah, we come out every Tuesday on All Things Comedy.

Get us wherever you get your podcasts.