Dumb People Town - Ryan Sickler - Stigmacha

Episode Date: March 3, 2026

Comedian and podcaster Ryan Sickler (The Honeydew, The Way Back, Live & Alive) stops by as Daniel describes how a cafe has been accused of blasphemy over the name of a sandwich, Randy explains how a man broke into a Little Caesar's and started making and selling pizzas, and Jason warns against sending meth into bank drive thru tubes, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsors: BetterHelp and Monarch! Your emotional wellbeing matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/DPT. Set yourself up for financial success in 2026 with Monarch. The all-in-one tool that makes proactive money management simple, all year long. Use code DPT at monarch.com for half off your first year.

Townies, it's a phenomenal episode of Dumb People Town. Ryan Sickler is with us, and the stories are great. We've got a sandwich that isn't offensive, but some people are really mad about it. And then we've also got a guy who wants to work at Little Sears more than you've ever wanted anything in your life. And then we close everything out with a bank deposit that should have never happened. It's all this week on Dumb People Town. Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folk so unaware they lack and grace and sometimes choose the life they choose will make the news. Breaking down each epic bail in Florida

There's half-rice bail I'm happy to say they Good in the podcast jam With co-host our man Dan Man, don't be a jerk Because when the music The sound, underdown is dumb people town Hey Tadies welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town

Population, New York Population Sickler Oh Ryan Sickler One of our, one of our long, welcome back to town It is always good to have you here You all are good to be. Ever. Yeah.

You really? Can I go get it? Slice cheese over by the crutches? I want to ask, was CVS the second episode? Second episode of Dun People Townham? Man, we talk about mining gold right away. Every time I'm in a CVS. We're like the Wells Fargo right there.

They hit it big right there. Yeah. Cash coming out. Anytime. Anytime. If I see two things, where's, I say, where's the toy paper? It'd tell me. It's all.

By the greeting cards over by. any free. And the tie. And the title. So I am just excited that you are here today that we can jump into more stories. We'll tell people about your podcast, which we did your one of your latest ones. Oh my God. What a treat.

But let's jump into this right away. We got dumb. Shall we? Yeah, Daniel. Love you, Ryan. Carleen McDermott at she be Carleen sent this in. Thanks. I just love, this is just a story of people having a made up issue with a business and then thinking they can like bowl.

that business. Right. Well, it's like when someone's like, and we all got a problem with that too and like, no, you're the only one. You're the one who made that up. Come on, guys. Right. Right. Nah, I just want to get my call off me, bro. No one's. Cafe. Cafe accused of blasphemy over a name of sandwich. A cafe has received a threatening letter.

What do we think the sandwich's name is? Hellfire on a, you know. Jesus below. Brimstone and treacle. one of you is very close a cafe has received a threatening letter over the name of one of its sandwiches the bridge bakehouse

offers a playful menu full of puns give it a grilled Jesus can I get the Hitler hero how is that done and if you don't like it you cook at you cook it right you don't like it you eat that enough why don't you run down in a bunker

and get me that Hitler hero you get a bunker and you know what it's back next time cheese and the band Bandages back here. That's like an early CVS. And do me a favor.

Do me a favor of Hon. Do me a favor of him. Press it in the old Panini machine. Can I press it? I'll press a wrap in there. It's a baguette. Press it anyway. I don't give a crap.

The Bridge Bake House offers a diet, Dr. Pepper. Go ahead. You don't have cherry? Give me a moosellini, mozzarella. Press that too. You need a moosellini mozzarella sticks and a

Dad's root beer. Give me the gerbils Gabagool. It's a combo! The Hitler hero of Mussolini Monsarose things of. And a dad's root beer. These sandwiches are allied with each other.

It's part of an access of sandwiches. You get the excess combo. You got the WW2, comment. Cut. A little bit of. We throw in a couple pieces of sushi. A little far as little bit.

Put a little assambi. A little kamikaze sauce out there. The Bridge Bakehouse offers a playful menu full of puns, including Don't Go Bake in my heart. I would write a letter about that. I liked it. Get your goat you've pulled. I don't know that. Pulled goat sandwich.

It's from the U.K. But one member of the community has taken offense at one sandwich name, a cheesy offering with the moniker, Jesus Christ. Nothing wrong with it. I like it. Jesus Christ. You're saying this is, if you're a believer, you're saying this is the chosen one. This is the best version of this. They serve it on top of a glass of water. Yes.

That turns into wine. It flits. We take it off the menu for three days on that it comes right back. The Jesus Christ. Listen, you're going to eat it today. Two days later, it's going to come back up. It's going to come back up on you. That refrigerator is going to be open.

might be a shroud in front of it or something but it's Jesus Christ Did it a grilled cheese? Is that the whole point? Do you want extra mer on that? Come on go ahead and pass on the

Frankencents White paint You want it on the side? Yeah I'll get one of those little cups for the frankincet But extra mur Extra mire!

White paint was recently thrown over the eateries outdoor menu board Although it has not yet been confirmed if the incident was connected to the naming of the sandwich. I'm going to tell you as this goes on the door. It was 100%.

It is. The lunchtime snack has been on the menu for a while and features a combination of caramelized onion, onion chutney, mature cheddar, and mozzarella. Served on a board. However, earlier this week,

the cafe was sent a threatening letter claiming to be from a Christian group according to a report in Derbyshire Live. We take a baguette, we slice it. Chabatta right up the middle and we're sticking in there. It's weird because Christians usually are like

the most understanding people. They're calm about that stuff. We have a Lucifer's Pizza in L.A. Live and let live. The letter sent to the Whaley Bridge Cafe read. Let me have someone that had Stygmacha drink too. I want someone to have a rigged

Stigmacha. Gating a hole in my hand. It's so hot. Burning a hole in my hand. It's hot. It's hot. This person. has demands. So here's the letter that was sent to the Whaley Bridge Cafe.

Our members have instructed us to write to you. That is somebody who wants to, like, you were saying, act like, there's a whole, we all feel. Not everyone feels like this. Not everyone is on board with your. Our members have instructed us to write you to ask you to remove the sandwich name Jesus Christ from your menu. Although our clients would prefer to settle this matter out of court, there is clearly a case to answer here. Out of court. What's the charge?

There isn't any... What do you think that person thinks they are? Religious persecution? Exactly. Infrigement? Yeah, I guess just being disrespectful to their God. But Christ is a colloquial. Discrimination.

Also, as a Jew, I ask this. What if it was on a wafer? Don't you're eating the body of Christ whenever you're a day? So here, have a little another piece of the cheese on the wafer. Amen. Right? Literally. Can I get it? Amen? Thank you. Everyone in the United Kingdom has the right to their beliefs without fear of discrimination.

It's a basic human right that all institutions, including bakeries, have a duty to abide by and protect. No, they don't. Also, they're not saying anything negative about Christianity. No, it's just a wonderful. It's just a divine. No one's saying you can't pray. It's a divine sandwich. To your God.

It's a divine sandwich. It's a fucking dumb. It's a fucking dumb pun. Thank you. That's all it is. That's all it. The only argument you should have is whether or not there should be onions out of it's great. I mean, I'm with you on that.

I'll put those on the side. Yeah. With my frankinson. But like Jesus's last name isn't. Heavy on the mark. Every on them. Isn't Christ. That is the description of what he is to those people.

So you're just, it's Jesus Christ. It's the best version. It's the greatest. Yes. If anything, they're kind of reminding people about your religion out there. They're making more. where people go, oh yeah, Jesus. Would Jesus of Nazareth be better?

What would Jesus do? Jesus of Lather this. Okay. Okay. This is dating. Oh, excuse me. How many pounds do you think this sandwich cost? What pounds?

Oh, I thought you were saying. Okay, gosh. I think it's probably a 10 pound sandwich. Probably like 13 pound sandwich. Well, let's see. It's roughly, what, double the pound? English dollar, so I'm going to go with 2850. Well, unless I forgot the symbols of things, the four-pound sandwiches name was an insult

to Christianity. The letter demanded that to stop the author from taking the matter further. The sandwich is only four pounds? Four pounds, so it's essentially eight. Why am I thinking of a $14 sandwich? Oh, it goes the other way. So it's like one point. It's like 1.6.

I don't even know if I'm reading this symbol. I think it's like a $9 sandwich. Here, I'll run the rest of the sandwich Is that a pound? Yeah, that's a pound. Yeah, that's right. But it's how much? How many pounds?

Which means it's about seven or eight dollars. I mean, that's a great, great price for the sandwich. Not bad. So the author demands that the letter, demands in the letter that they might have to take the matter further. No. In order to prevent them from taking it further. If I'm the cafe, I'm like, let's go.

The cafe needed to follow the instructions within the letter. to make this right. You ready to hear these? I can't wait to see this list of demands. Issue a public apology on the cafes, platform, social media, website, etc., within how many working days of the date of this letter? I love that. It's a threat. Now it's a threat.

Now you've got to do this by a certain date. They don't want that chiseled on a tablet? Yeah, exactly. We can bring that down from a month. I'm going to say 48 out. I'm going to say three. Five or five. Five or no.

Five. In the whole week. Can you take the weekend before and the weekend after? Yeah. It's nine. They also, four dollars, four pounds is five dollars and 42 cents. Oh, it's not even that reasonable. It's not even that much.

Is it more or less reasonable than Jesus himself? Right. Then they have five days to issue public apology. They also have to remove the sandwich name and all mention of it from the cafe's menus within 10 working days of the day of the letter. Who's coming up with these days? They also have to remove any mention of the name Jesus Christ from the sign, standing on the Whaley Bridge parish within 30 working days

of the date of this letter. I would do all of these things and then I would take their letter and thank them for it and I would take the word Jesus Christ from their letter and bolt it out really huge and sticking on the front door. Yes. And be like, thank you for telling us we were wrong

so that their letter says Jesus Christ and that's still in there. I like Martin Luther. They're not done. Okay? So we have 30 days to get it off a sign. they then also have to make a donation to the Holy Trinity Church within 30 days of the date of the letter. That's blackmail. For an amount of how many pounds.

So first they're gone. Social media. Gone. God. Five days. Ten days. Menu. Signage. 30 days to write a letter.

Signage. Gone. Also make a donation within 30 days. 30 days. How many pounds do you think they want that? 500 pounds. 250. 100.

300. Wow. Still a lot of money. That's a shakedown. It's like 500 bucks. Because you don't like the name of a grilled cheese sandwich. Yeah, this is puniting. So you're also saying, we do all that and you still want a donation.

Right. It's a lot. What I would do is I would write back and go, thank you for the press you are giving our sandwich shop, our cafe. What if in the donation you said we make. 10, Jesus Christ, sandwiches free to the first. First 12, we want the disciples, apostles. And we're going to throw in some potches potato strings.

Don't make this your last supper. Just so you know, you come in. Don't make this. This is our new thing. What if in the donation you said, we make this donation in the name of Jesus Christ? In the name of Jesus Christ. I would lean all the way in.

I'd go, you come in, we got 12 scratchers for a free sandwich. One of them is the Judas Scratcher. You are not going to win. You have to pay for somebody else's sandwich. But you got to scratch that behind your back. Grab a robe on your way in, take a seat at the tape. Now introducing the Philly Cheese of Steak. The one big long communal table.

Right, right? Yep, very uncomfortable seats. It's awful. Hey, hey a second, we all have to sit on this side? All on one side. No one's to sit on the other side. Somebody came to me and I ran this once in there. And I ran this once in there like, what's your problem with Christianity?

I would go, in relation to what? And then they go, that Jesus Christ, I go, oh, in that context, none. But if you want to have another discussion, let's go out back and we can talk about how punitive it is. We can debate some stuff. Put your sandals on right there. And if somebody goes, well, I'm actually a caring, you know, really love the actual preachers to get Jesus Christian, I'd be like, then you shouldn't care about this sandwich. You just ended your own argument. Let's talk original sin for an hour out back.

The strongly worded letter claimed to be from the religious organization called Christian concerned. What if you called it the original sand-dow? Just boring as hell. That's a It's almost fucking. Hey, you know my favorite sandwich? The original thin. The original thin.

It's thin. We pinini press it down, super thin. The original thin? You're going to feel guilty, U.S. Or it's the style of how you order. Can I get the Jesus Christ original thin? Yeah. It's adultery. It's a charcutary form. It's an adultery board.

I'll get the Bethlehem and cheese. I could do this for a very long time. A bag of those Nazar chips. Oh, man. Let me get a Jerusalemian Swiss on Rob Red, please. There he is. There he is. And I'll give you a side of the Damascuscus. You got Damascuscus in here?

I like that. Thank you very much. when you mean you're out of myr? Every time I'm here, you're off of myrr. Because we give it away for free, and that is the problem. That is the problem. Carmelized myrrh. I'll take a balona in the whale.

Jesus Christ. All right. So the Christian concern, they're the organization, it's claimed to be from them. But this was later dismissed as a fake by Bridge Breakhouse. I can do this, Bridge Bakehouse on its social media. A spokesperson for the cafe said, so after investigations, it turned out the bizarre blackmail letter had nothing to do with Trinity Church or a Christian concern. So this is one wacky person who's like, going, I'm from this organization and all of our members. Meanwhile, that church is going, we have nothing to do with this.

We like your saying. We don't care at all. Jesus Christ. Yeah, what would Jesus do? Nothing. What would Jesus do? It seems it was from an anonymous, anonymous, discreet. gruntled member of the local community.

We'd still love to find out who it was. They don't know? They had anything to do with the recent vandalism of our menu board. It did. I wonder. They're like, thanks for the publicity and all,

but we got to get this menu board. We got white paint all over this movie board. I mean, look, so that was the one thing in the letter. They're like, we're going to change the menu board. Yes. You're going to have to change. If I'm bomb them right now, I'm putting cameras and everything on the thing, cooking in the oven.

and as it grows, it's he is risen. Jesus Christ, every Sunday. Buy one, get one free. He is risen bread. In reference to the menu board, the cafe responded in good humor posting on social media to whoever has tried

to cover up the Jesus Christ sandwich on our outdoor menu board with white paint, can you please not? We really can't be bothered contacting the council to check the CCTV. And if it wasn't done in the dead of night by someone dressed like the mask of Zorro, we are going to be highly disappointed.

These people don't care. They don't care. They're having fun with it. Again, Dan, I think they're like, thank you for the publicity. Wouldn't you? I'm starting to think they might have been in. Did it to themselves. I'm starting to think we did it to themselves.

All right, that's story number one. If anybody ever sees a follow-up, I want to know. If anybody has had the Jesus Christ, please let us know. And that's story one. Grant's up next. Come back. We'll find out what Dan's got going on. We'll find out how you can support Ryan Sickler and all the good stuff he's doing. It's dumb people down with the great Ryan Sickler.

We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound. Come you down. East Dump People Town. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. It is. We are taking a moment to celebrate women and all that they carry at work and relationships and our families and the many roles that they hold every single day.

March includes International Women's Day. A moment to celebrate women's strength and progress while also recognizing how much they carry every day. Between caring for others. Between taking care of families. They share that as well. Actually carrying people in their bodies to then birth them. do, yes. Wren, are you mansplaining what women?

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Use the code DPT at Monarch.com for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first year at Monarch. Dot com with code DPT. Boom. Stick around. Make a sound. It's dumb people town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show before we jump in the story too.

And before we get into what RISE got going on. Daniel, when can people see you? Where can people see you? all that stuff. I'm not sure exactly when this drops, but if it's before the 28th, then I'll be in Portage, Wisconsin at the Portage Center for the Arts.

I'll be at the West Side Comedy Club on March 26th in New York City. And then the next night, I will be in York, Pennsylvania, and then Allentown, Pennsylvania. That's all that weekend. I'm also going to be in North Liberty, Iowa, right outside of Cedar Rapids.

That's the beginning of April. And doing Dead Crow comedy in Wilmington. That sounds so fun. Netflix is a joke on May 6th. Go to my show. Go to The Sclar show. It's the same night. You cannot go wrong.

Going out to comedy that night. Tag it is one of the most fun shows you can do. And I will be doing a headlining set of my new hour at my show, maybe some surprises, guests, and a little bit of fun. It's a small venue. So it's so fun to say with confidence, it's going to sell out. Yep. I don't want to have so much embarrassment that it doesn't. But, yeah, Wisconsin, everything's all the way in through October.

There's a whole bunch of stuff and a whole bunch of dates are being added. Daniel Vancirk.com. and check out Midnight Air. It drops right here on All Things Comedy every single week. I love it, both things. Ryan, we had so much fun

doing your podcast. That was like the Mr. DJ clips were like my favorite. And whoever did all your crape fingers. Those hands in the great. Cray fingers. Who ever did all the...

Who's got rheumatoid arthritis? Carry these great stuff. Whoever did all the like Photoshop's that was the best. That's all my D's. Dude. That's all my D's. I cannot. So good.

and so fun and just a really fun show. Explain it so people get into it. Let us be your entry point in there. Could I plug my special? Yes, please. That's the whole thing. Live and Alive. Streaming now on my YouTube over a million views. My old special Lefty Sun after being demonetized just crossed a million views.

That's pretty awesome. So impressive, man. Live and alive is so good. Thank you. I love you. Thank you. Come on. Come on.

I recently had to go back to. I recently had to go back to Cedar. I know. I recently had to go back to Cedar. and I was like, I don't like being in. I don't like me. Three weeks of hanging out with this guy. Yeah, yeah.

They all remember me. He's back. He's back. He's back. Like, as you're going through this stuff, you're like, that's my next special. Right? If I make it through, if I live. That was the part.

If I live? That was the part. Just let me live long enough to do another hour. I know where all the Diet Coke is in Ceders. No, man, it's so good. I love it. Obviously, I love your podcast. You just had a great clip come out with Sal talking about the people who listen to the honeydew and what it means to people.

There's so many people who have been. like, hey, this made me feel like I'm not alone. This may we feel like pain happens to everybody. This may me feel like that comedy can override all of these things. People have, like, gone to therapy because they've heard other people be like, I didn't know somebody else went through this and they said therapy helps. Like, I guess I'll try that. So it's, but first and foremost, entertaining and funny.

And you don't come out of it. And we don't give a crap. It's like you just go into it and just be strong in what you're saying. That's the way people feel when they're sitting on that couch between you. It's next to you. It's the greatest. The honey do is great, highlight and low lights, but the way back is so fun. It's definitely a produce show.

We be rolling photos and reliving just birth to high school. Like that pocket of your life is, you know, really what I like diving into. Oh, it formulated us. It made us who we are. It's kind of everybody's origin story when they hit that couch. So much life since then, and that's how we're everyone knows you. But those first years. And then it's like the backseat of the way back of a car.

That's what we're sitting. Yeah. And it's been so nice to bring the monitor up and we look at your old home or your old school. And, you know, I'm 52 and I still forget. We can go look at that shit. I can go see my grandma's house right now online. I'm like, oh, yeah. And then you see people laid up like, oh, my God, that's where I grew up.

Oh, I haven't looked at this in years. Oh, my God, that's my school. It kind of still looks the same. So, yeah, it's really fun. Check out my specials. Live and Alive and Laughy Sun. Way back to Honeydew, Lefty Son, all on my YouTube. Come see me on.

on the road. Ryancycler.com. I'm in Connecticut, Dallas, Albuquerque, going to Tacoma, Spokane, La Jolla, I'll be at Netflix as a joke fest as well. Doing a live way back actually. Where are you doing that? What's the bed you do? Is it called Hotel Cafe?

What night are you? May 5th. The night before. I'm just going to come hang. We got your comedy. My show's on the six. Their shows on the sixth. I love it, dude.

And Ryan Sickler.com. Ryan Sickler. Get all of it there. I'm going to jump in the story too, sent in by our good friend in Portland, Alvin Cadabay at A. Catabay 3836. And you know, Easter's coming up. Cadetay eggs. All right, here we go. Man breaks into Little Caesar starts making and selling pizzas.

You're hired. You're hired. Working harder than any employee in that store that night. That's what I'm saying. All the employers are there are like, man. That shitty manager is like, you want to know who got here before we even opened today? What's your name? Broke in.

Kevin. Kevin. Kevin's on that line right now. I'm out here. You guys. He's buttering dough already. My stepson used to work at Little Caesars. There you go. He worked there and I went to visit him at work one time to embarrass him. Yeah. This is so funny. So here, our article at. Wait, let him say it. I walk in. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm making a scene. Where's Derek? He's also 6.6. I'm like, where's Derek? And they're all looking at me and you hiding back there?

And the manager finally comes out. He's like, can I help you? I go, I'm going. I'm just sorry. I'm looking for my steps on it works here. Derek, he goes, big tall kid. I go, yeah, he goes, man, he's at the one a mile down the show. I'm in the wrong little season. And they're this big now. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Damn you little Seasers for franchising. The door hits the counter. They're getting littler. The Sears are getting little. They're just hot and ready. Do they still do pizza pizza? Yeah.

Yeah, hot and ready. I hop behind the counter and sold a few. Yeah, that's amazing. So that's the thing. That was crazy bread. So pizza, pizza, baby, baby, pan, pan. It was a baby, baby, pan pan. Remember that?

Yeah. And the noid is dominoes, right? Yeah. So Little Caesars was in the union in Michigan, and we would eat that late night. Is that in college? Yeah. All right, so a former employee of Little Caesars in Kinston, K-I-N-S-T-O-N-N-K-I-N-K-E-L-K-E-Lan.

Former employee broke in when the shop was closed and started making and selling pizzas. The price. you can make them. You just can't sell them. Oh, taking the money, not putting in the cash register. He's just making his pocket in it. So he's sort of had a business plan.

Right. He said, facing multiple felony charges after he broke into a little season after closing time and started making and selling pizza quarter and the police happened Sunday the day after he passed. We got a pop up.

After a mess of snowstorm. It's the thing. And the suspect kept all the money for himself at the Kingston Police Department sent at February 2 news release. An arrest was made after the suspect tried to break into the shop a second time. He's going back in. He loves it there. Do we know what he made the first time?

I mean, what would you make in that? Yeah, throw a little pepperoni on that. And he must have gotten fired, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's going to be. Because he was already a former employer. You can't fire a former employee. But I was saying he didn't quit and then he wanted the juice back. No, he was told to leave. Multiple times. Asshole, asshole. We're not going to get his age, but upon arrival, officers were advised that Jonathan Hackett, a former, Johnny Hackett, a former employee had on a awfully entered the business in two separate occasions during the first incident. He entered the business, prepared pizzas, sold them to customers, and kept the proceeds for himself.

You could put that in the register? We'll do it later. We'll do it later. Imagine him explaining this plan to his other dumb friends. He's like, it's not stealing. No. I used to work there. I'm making, if they make them, but what's wrong with that?

I'm selling it. He's making everyone pay cash. Yeah, I'm sure. That's how he's getting us. He's got a square. He's got his own thing. Right on Zoom. Just tap it.

Or Zoom. Tap the card. You got a chip? There's a pop-up. Where is it? It's actually at the little. It's in a little season. What do they serve?

Little C-Pee. Little C-Pee. This is the same thing? During the second incident, Hackett again broke into the business while it was occupied by employees. That's not good. Well, how's that a break-in if it's occupied? So employees attempted.

Right. Employees attempted to prevent Hackett from entering, which resulted in a physical altercation. Hackett was then injured in the brawl. No. Like Shia Leboof outside of a. bar in New Orleans and taken to a hospital for treatment police said he was arrested after being released. Officials said he has been charged with felony breaking and entering or felony obtaining property

by false pretenses felony larceny after felony breaking and entering. Misdemeanor breaking and entering. Damn. Violating city curfew investigators did not report. I think you should because it's Little Caesars say everything twice. Yeah. You violate a city curfew curfew. Yeah. Misdemeanor breaking and entering and entering.

Little Caesars is an. National Chana Pizza shops with the locations in all 50 states. Who wouldn't know? Wait, they're in all 50, huh? Wow. Damn. Kinson's about an 80-mile drive southeast down from downtown Raleigh. Cunity got as much as 14 inches of snow.

So this is after a snowstorm. I got an idea. Maybe he knew that people want to. I love that when we were kids, Pizza Hut was like, we're going to go after the kids who love to read. And Little Caesars was like, there's a lot of kids who hate reading. We're just going to be hot.

You didn't make the honor roll? Get away. You better come in and grab. You're probably getting beat on the way. We got two pizzas for you. Yeah. We got an extra one for you. Look, we give you a sticker every time you get beat up at school. Or at your home.

We're not here. Well, you're not. I just started talking about this on stage because the Pizza Hut thing going back to it. I used to get a 3.0. That was my, that was on a roll. That's straight bees. Straight bees. And I would get straight bees except math was my C and it was a low C.

Jim was my A. Yeah. And that averaged you out to a right. And that was as good as I was at math. But a 3.0 got you on a roll. Got you state farm lower insurance rates on your insurance. Car driving, yep. And free personal pan pizza at pizza hug.

Yeah. Come on. I like how. You take a poor car, but that was when it was a restaurant. You went and sat down and there's a salad bar and a fire place. I'll have a picture of Coke. Yeah. In a plastic container, the red cups.

The ice good. The red plastic. plastic cups that were about this tall. We're leaning back and spitting at the fireplace to see if it's real. That ain't real. At the buffet, they always had that dessert pizza that was too hot. It was always part of your mouth. It's like, why is this?

And so that, I mean, why do they call it a personal? I do think it's great. They called it a personal pan. They could have just called it a mini pan pizza. Personal makes it so much more. I care about me. I'm going to get my mom. You get your personal pan pizza.

Personal pan. That's for you. All right, so let's get out of here on this. We're going to find out how old he is. How old do you think? Jonathan Hackett, who came in and tried to hack. Literally, it's like a life hack. I mean, I also hope this manager knows he's coming back.

Oh, yeah. Well, that's the other thing. Change the locks. Little Caesar should have definitely worked on their security system if he was able to get back. Change the locks. I want to say 42, but I'm going to go 36. I'm going 36. I'm going to go 27 years old.

What do you think, Jay? 21. Get your answers in. townies. If you would have stayed with your first way, you would have been one year off. He's old. He's 42. Well, you put it one year off. Three or one. You pick the three of the one. 41. Okay. I'm going to go 43 just for fun. 41. All right. Get your answers in townies because Jonathan Hackett who broke in not once but twice. By the way, would have gotten away with it the first time. Yeah. He got greedy. Scott free, bro. And I think this is what Little Cesar just engenders in you,

that you're greedy. Like you can't go, like if you go to Little Ced. Breaking, breaking. You break and breaking. You can't just break in once. He just, you got breaking, breaking, breaking. Jonathan Hackett is 41 years old. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. All right. Jake gives a little. I mean, come on, man. We're arresting a guy for a work ethic for growing the business. Certain deposit. All right. Maybe you should be open later if he was selling a lot of pizzas that late at night. Maybe you expand these hours. He's learned something. Hire him. Let him do it. All right. Before we get into this last story. If I break into a chick-fley on Sunday, is they're selling chicken? I would. That's fine. You know how to do it. He knew how to do it. He knew how to do it. He knew how to heat the ovens up.

He knew everything. He knew how to dough at large day. That is the large day. I'm going to tell you that story three involves certain deposit at the bank that you're not allowed to make. All right. There you go. Story three. We'll get back to that.

We'll tell you what we have going on. It's the great Ryan Sickler. He's with us every time. It's just my heart is warm by having him here. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound. Come here down.

It's dumb people town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Before we get into the final story, for us, we've got a lot of stuff coming up. up again hoping that we get a chance to do another alt cast one of like basically like the manning cast but maybe for the tournament games we were holding out hope that we get a chance to do that on turner um on true tv or hbo max that was so much fun we did the hockey game the nchal game was awesome uh and so that's that uh you can see us at uh moon tower comedy festival in austin texas the third weekend in april we're going to go back to kind of the area we're going to go baton rouge i

believe Lafayette, Lake Charles, and then in Mobile, Alabama. The Gajun Food Tour, boys. I love it. I can't wait. So that's going to be in the middle of May. I think we're going to go to Fort Collins in the middle of July, go back and see our buddy, Dave Rodriguez, who we just, we just played golf with him on Catalina Island. That was so cool with the whole heckler guys.

That was a blast. It's all at superslashogers.com, and our Netflix is a joke. Tagget show is going to be on May 6th. Same day. Near Dan's. Your Dan's, and that's going to be up at the UCB Franklin. So get your ticket, superschoolers.com. Jay, jump into it.

All right, this was sending by Sean Anderson at Sean 70. Okay, here we go. Suspected meth sent through bank drive-thru by mistake. Ohio man later arrested. When you were a kid and you went to the drive-thru it and the thing that sucked it up the thing, greatest thing ever? That was as Jetsons as it got. Right.

That technology. Future technology. I feel like that was so far ahead of like. what, I mean, that... It should still be used. Why wasn't that done during COVID? Right. We weren't supposed to do anything.

Where were all the bank shoots giving you? Speak about contact. There it is. Everything should be contact. Everything sent through contactless vacuum. The vacuum of the... However you built that thing that went up and went down. As a kid, that was the greatest thing I've ever seen.

And then they're sending lollipops back. Sending you a lollip. Out of here right now. With deposit slips, get out of here. There's a lot of like old buildings in New York that had to... those in there to like transfer documents from floor to floor. I mean, it is, it's the greatest thing I've ever.

I was amazed by it every time. And here, as you say, every time I would see it, I never saw it fail. No, I don't recall one time it ever getting stuck or a service person like out of order. You know why? Because it went on suction. It wasn't like electrical. I think it was.

The air's on or it's not. It's on or it's not. But like, whose idea was like, look, we can do this. Like, people don't want. want to go into the bank. They don't want to wait in line. They don't want to park their car and do that. They're busy. We're going to create something that is like you can be three rows away and we'll suck it up and get it. Imagine pitching that. There's no way. Hold on a second.

You're going to be three car or low. You're going to send a tube up over to my goddamn. How's that going to work? Two technology. One bank had to give out a shot and then they all were like, we got to do. It's the wave of the future. We got to do what First East West. Still the wave of the future. It is. We got to do what First East West is doing. When did that first come out? I mean, I don't know. You want someone to look that up? 70s?

I'd say 60s. You think before. Yeah. I'd say end of the 60s beginning of 70s. What do we call that? Yeah. What do you call that thing? You don't think 50s?

Bank deposit suction. Vacuum suction. Vacuum suction. Technology. When did it come out? I'm going to say like 69 or 70. I'm going to go 758. 58.

I might be late. I might be late. I might be late. No, because I'm already a kid when it's happened. Maybe 70. I'll go 70. Yeah, what is the first we need to know how, what do you call it called? What do you call it?

Deposit. Deposit. Deposit. Tube. Tube. Tube suction tube. Tugging. Technology.

Tube is probably in there. While you're looking for it, I'll go forward. A wood field man, this is from WTRF. A woods field man arrests it after deputies say a baggie of society. of suspected methamphetamine was accidentally sent through a bank's drive-thrued air tube earlier this week. Accidentally?

What year is this? They're still out there? That wasn't no accident. The ones of Rochella is still there. They're still, oh, they're still opera? I have yet to see one. Central Bank, Rochelle, Illinois, still using it. We had them at my old film job at the photocam at the land. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. You sent them out. That is not an accident. Here we go. According to the Monroe County Sheriff's Office,

deputies were called to a local bank December 3rd after employees found a crystal-like substance inside a tube used for drive-through transactions. Tests indicated the substance appeared to be methamphetamine. How do you know? Mark tried that conversation in the car. Like, what did you put in the tube? You're not going to believe this. The deposit slip is right here. You are not going to believe.

1947. No, I bet 18. You are not going to believe this. It's really old. You know what it's called? It's called pneumatic tubes or capsule pipelines. Is that with a P-N-E-U-M-A-T-S-E-C tube transport, a pneumatic tube systems, are systems that propels cylindrical containers through networks of tubes compressed by air or by partial vacuum.

These are used for objects transporting solid objects as conventional pipelines which transport fluids in the late 19th century. Are you ready for this? You guys will not believe this. All right, pneumatic transportation was invented by William Murdoch around 1799. Get the whole out of here. It's pressure and induction. Like, we had vacuum stuff for a long time. In 1854, Josiah Latimer Clark was issued a patent for conveying letters or parcels between places using pressure air and a vacuum in 1853.

He installed 220-yard 20-200-meter pneumatic system between the London Stock. What's Latimer doing? He's developing the old. Tubes. Ed guy sucks. I was nuts. I was like it has to be at least the 50s.

You'd remember we used to have all some memories. When did they start serving meth up in it? But you guys, do you remember? I mean, I think we're all too young, but do you remember seeing or hearing about the automat? Yeah. The automatic, it was like you went into this cafeteria. It was all like a robot machine served cafeteria for like anything you would want

to eat. They were huge. And it had all these little cubbies and you could pick pie. You could pick whatever. Shout out, TPS. Shout out the P. Bormor. Prime.

Yeah, you put money and then you'd slide. door open. You can get a cheese steak. Yes. A piece of cake. Yes. By the way, what are they called? We had an automats. Automats. So by the way, in, in, uh, documentary about it. McDonald's in a dinah, Minnesota, which is just outside of

Minneapolis, they had one of these tube things. For the McDonald's? That's fun. You get a happy meal coming through a tube? It closed in 2011. I mean, it is. We got batting these things. Just wrap the fries up. Yeah, wrap them up and put them in there.

Okay. That's another thing, ice ruined. All right. Investigators determined the packet had been unknowingly sent through the system by Jason G Smith. JG.S. JG Smith? JGS. We're going to guess his age at the end during a routine baking transaction. Nothing but a G thing.

It was routine after he sent what he sent. What's he baking in there? Smith was later found in Wayne. You know the phrase let him cook? They're like, let him bake. Let him cook. In Wayne Township by officers with the Ohio Department of Natural Resources, deputies assisted by K-9 Max, so dogs were in.

involved, search Smith's vehicle and recovered additional suspected drugs and drug-related items. The sheriff's office said he was taken into custody and booked into the Monroe County Jail. The sheriff's office used the case to remind the public that illegal drugs should not be left in public spaces or businesses, but can be safely surrendered. Oh, so you think he thought he was going to get caught?

And so he was like, let me send this. I don't know. Could you send a small dog? It's not like a baby at a fire department. No, no, no. No drugies. He's going to eat it if they're going to get caught. He's going to get it away.

It's going to be an assistant. Illegal drugs don't belive and don't believe. Let me do this again. I'm the same way. I'm the same way. Illegal drugs don't belong in bank drive-thrus. Of course not. Thank you, police.

But they can be turned in at the sheriff's office. You get a lollipop and that rock over there. I'd like to modify that. They don't belong in the bank. That's right. Keep him in the drive-thru. Yes. Keep him in the drive-thru.

I think he was probably on speed and he was hurrying up to put shit in and a little bag of, He probably flicked in his pocket in there. Put it in the shoot. She went up the thing. What is this? Man, that pneumatic shoot is working a little faster than normal. If hardcore drugs are a daily part of your life, don't even, you don't want anything to do with the bank. No.

Also, you need off the bank money. Two words if you do hardcore drugs, mobile deposit. Why are you driving that thing? Is he making a deposit? Is he making? That's impressive. Right. Also, he had to be.

In addition to the math. What I'm saying? Is this guy working? Does he work? Does he work? Does he get most of a deposit? his money through by check. He might be working. He might worry.

Officials said we'd much rather safely take him off the street than see another unexpected deposit. Oh, God. How old? We're going to get out here on this. JGS. Is JGS. Jason G. Smith sent meth through a bank drive-thru, pressure system.

Right. You want to go first? Last? What do you want to? I'm torn here. This could either be a younger man or an older man because most of the people. Do young people even know what a lot? a bank is.

You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? How many old people are doing that? Do young people even know that like if you opened a checking account at a bank, you would get a shitty cooler that you wouldn't want to use? Remember? Do they like, hey, here's this ice key set that you'll never ever use.

Five glasses. Tumblr's you can use around the pool. Backyards. Throw in the cooler and I'll do it. Going to open to check. Give me to check. Yeah, cover. Cover.

High school's, uh, bench. Is that like, I would say, I would say, poor or. or broke younger kids do because maybe they don't have internet, maybe they don't have credit cards, maybe they don't have digital. So I believe they know a bank. Bank. Which also could be the older people like, I don't trust the electronics. The I don't trust it.

You don't live long usually doing meth. So I'm going to go with 23. Oh, wow. I'm going to go 38, 29. Aaron, you want to throw a guess in the mix? I just have a question. How do you get his big rig into the drive? That's a great question.

Truckers are on. Truckers are on meth. I'm going to say he's 52. All right. Get your answers in. Check out the new special. Live and alive. Live and alive.

Thank God he's alive. Thank God he's alive. Thank God you're here. Thank God you. Thank God you. Continuing to make great stuff. We love it. We support all.

I laughed harder just now like at the beginning of this episode that I think I have in. So I was tears. Ages. And just support him. Ryan Sickler. A Jesus Christ sandwich to the winner. I want one. I want one so bad.

Hold onions. That's the ham and cheese also good. All right. Here we go. He is Jason G. Smith is 46 years old. Wow. Oh, man. Old Rand River.

You were closer. He said 21. I said 29. Aaron was the closest at 52. So, guys, that's how we do a show. It was quick. It was beautiful. And Ryan Sickler is just one of our favorites.

Go support him. Go support. Daniel and us too. And oh snap, we got to get back to work, y'all. Peace.