Dumb People Town - The Character Episode 2025

Episode Date: January 6, 2026

Daniel, Jason, and Randy are joined by the incredible voice talents of Chris Cox, Kenny Stevenson, and Jonathan Kite to bring you the 2025 Character Episode from View From The Cheap Seats! You'll hear from celebrities like Dennis Rodman, Steven Seagal, Michael Caine (multiple), Jerry Jones, Charlie Sheen, Tom Hanks, Liam Neeson, Mark and Donnie Wahlberg, Nicolas Cage, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Kris Kristofferson, Tiger Woods, Anthony Bourdain, and so much more! Thanks to ours sponsors: BetterHelp, Monarch, ASCPA Pet Insurance, and Hims! BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/DPT.  This New Year, achieve your financial goals for good. Monarch is the all-in-one tool that makes proactive money management simple, all year long. Use code DPT at monarch.com for half off your first year. To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/DPT To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit Hims.com/DPT. 

Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folk so unaware they lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose will make the news breaking down each epic bail in Florida there's half-rise bail I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up so listen to our podcast band with co-host arm and Dan vendors don't be a jerk because when the music is the funny hits and We are going to take you down. Stick around. Make a sound. Come you're down. It's Dumb People Town. Hey, Tadies, welcome to a very special episode of Dumb People, Tow.

Population, You. Population characters. It is the character episode. The annual character episode that we did on our old podcast, View from the Cheap Seeds, that we're just bringing over. That was something we didn't want to get rid of. And thank you very much to everyone here at, what network? Are we on Earwolf?

We're at All Things Comedy. All Things Comedy. And, of course, Daniel Van. Kirk, but we're going to have fun because we're bringing on some of our favorite people, characters throughout the years who pop in and populate our universe. I'm curious to hear what their thoughts are, Jay. Well, it has been an interesting 2025. I think Nick Cage has done five movies this year.

Minimum. I've done five, and I've got six in the can for next year. Six in the can. Already, okay? Damn. People are calling you. You know what you can do now, baby? A.

No, I don't want that. Sorah. Excuse Soros. Nicholas Cage is going to be playing a plate of China in a movie Who cares? I'll do it As long as the check clears, baby Well, I feel like Mark Wahlberg

Has been involved with... How are you guys doing? Good. AI. You watch my movie, right? Yeah. Play dirty? Oh, my God. Oh, I haven't seen the end.

I've only seen the family plan too. Oh, okay. Number one movie in American Airlines. In American Airlines. Number one movie in American Airlines. I did not know. know that that is you know who wrote that movie who everybody's favorite boy at christmas shame black yeah shame black yeah yeah it's a shame black so you're serious black

serious black are you whoa i can't wait to see your movie i can't wait to see your movie six in the can dude that's gonna be awesome no he's got six movies no i've got six movies in the can bro man i was in a movie with carman called six in the can you don't want to know what that was about i do no you were in double trouble there was a there was a five of the guys okay wait and you had six in the can with it were you in the movie exit wounds Yes, I was You got to be proud of your daughter I mean she's winning

She's doing it had a great year Playing for the US She's an athlete What's the matter with you man What's the, I don't know They're strange Catch up mustard you're falling behind One top tier athlete likes to hear about

Okay wait you consider yourself to be a top tier athlete I was gonna say who's the first Have you not seen the fighter Oh yeah I mean Have you not seen invincible You are Vinnie Popali You are and you really feel Like you not seen father stew

Do you feel like Vinnie Popoli deserves a statue in uh in philadelphia yes where a statue of him uh played by you looking at a statue of you okay and the statue says like it has a little voice box no there's a voice in the statue i've never seen that before and it's like i can't believe he plays me that's what he's saying and then my stature there's a voice is a word bubble it's like a teddy ruxpin yes yeah yeah yeah yeah i knew he was a great ball player too true story in 1989 he was sick He was 16 years old.

I got Donnie and Teddy Ruxbin. Yeah. And you could change what it has to say inside, right? And I kept, mine said quit entertainment. To him. You told him to quit entertainment. You said that to Donnie. And I give it to him every year.

Epic fail with that Teddy Ruxman because that man just refuses to quit. He will not quit. Neither with that guy. He's never funny. Well, I have to. I've got, you know, several kids and I've got illegitimate children all over the world. You've got dinosaur bones that are neat on layaway. I've got a very...

Welcome to Worm Life. Worm Life in the... I got three in the storm drain of Redondo. Okay, well, let me just say... I just gave him some ring pops and said, show. Okay. So, but if Donnie were to think about quitting, acting, whatnot, I would... Why start?

Well, if he were to think about quitting and I would ask Michael Kane to just look him in the eye and pep him up and just say, hey, get on... Donald. I mean, he's not here. He's not here, but just... Well, he's listening. I'm not for a fact the man is listening. Yeah. Johnny.

Don't know. Wait. You have. Why is he swallowed? I'm 90 years old. He's 90. I'm an old man now. I've retired.

We have an 88 year old Michael Cayman. Also, Johnny. Oh. Let us prepare. When we are preparing, we have to breathe. We have to breathe. If you don't breathe as an actor, how does your character breathe? That's true.

They don't. They don't! And that's what acting is. Breathing. Breathing. It's blinking. It's moving your hands. It's doing everything that your body does.

It's the mechanics of life. Asian. I mean, do you agree, Mark? I've never done any of it. You've never done any of the way. Acting for you is what? You just walk onto a set and just start talking. Most of the time, I say leave room for my dialogue.

We'll get it in post. We'll get it in both. So it's an over-the-show. Yes, I'm sorry, Mike. I just wanted to say on this talk about this. Oh, Jerry Jones. You know, I was in Landman and I'm pushing for. You were great in Landman.

Man, can I just say that? You can say it again and again. Move to tears. I saw it. A lot of people got very emotional. Jeannie actually. What happened? Well, she was watching it on the pontoon.

Okay, of course she did. She's got her own close circuit. And when I came on, we had it on a big screen, about a 20 by 20 foot screen. That was your old Jumbotron, you just brought him. And she fell off. Now, that might have been. She fell off the pontoon of the home. This long as hand open and say, Daddy, I didn't know you was an actor.

Yeah. And that might have been why. If I had a nickel. Uh-oh. Chris, Chris, the ghost. The ghost of Christmas. Back from the green. If I had a nickel for every time I've fallen off a pontoon boat, I would be a

multi-millionaire. A milty-millionaire. Is that a different than a multi? We have a different form of currency up here. Multi-millionaire. We're your other shoe, man. You know, I left it back in Cleopatra's house. Man, I got a lot of ladies.

You got a lot of ladies up in heaven. A lot of guys. Cleopatra is down to F. She really? I didn't realize. That's something to look forward to. I mean, I'm somebody to look forward to.

Assuming y'all get into heaven. I don't know if I'm going to. But if you were to have sex with Cleopatra, I feel like the environment would be altered in a big way. And that's a very, very inconvenient truth. Yeah, having sex with Cleopatra is like going to photo. Wait a minute. I just hear something.

Oh, inconvenient. Yeah, I just said that. And I know you say it once, and Al Gore appears. Flo. Well, hello. Hello. Nice to meet you. Well, I just want to say that polyphoric carbons were really one of the things that Tipper and I worked on in the late 80s, because she used a lot of hairspray, of course.

She did. Oh, she did. She played lyrics. One of the reasons I had to leave her, I couldn't breathe. I said, you're making our house an ink and... And Michael Cain would say you need to breathe in order to live. If you don't breathe, you can't be living. Don't forget.

Never. You must never forget. We will not. That's what it's all about, Alfie. breathing. And if you die, that doesn't mean you can't continue to podcast, as Doug Bafone has taught us from the beginning. We are unalive from Six Heavenly and Sixtheadly, the score. I'm your host, Doug Bofone, coming to you pre-game before the Chicago Bears, swear off at Soldier Field before it moves to Northwest Indiana to play the Green Bay Packers. Let's go to Michael in downtown Chicago. Michael, you're on the ear. Yes, I'm not in downtown Chicago. I'm in downtown Chicago. I'm in.

I'm in South London, but I do have a question about the Chicago band. Poor Doug Bafon. I'm curious to go. Look it up, boy. The thing I don't understand about American football is... This call brought to you by Polkats Gentlemen's Club. The Poles and the Cats are ready to purr. That's it.

I'm interested in that. All right. I don't understand if the game is called football, why is there only two people on the roster who actually put their foot onto the ball? It's a travesty. I agree. Thank you. Actually, not true.

Any player at any point can. do a kick on any down so it's an option that you have but you don't always do it thank you Doug let's go to you go to Matt Dennis on a boat in the Caribbean Dennis you're on the air 670s whatever I know that voice anywhere that's my old runaround pal from the 1990s the worm himself that's right that's right the squirm the worm the worm the man who always feels firm if you know where to touch. That is Dennis Rodman.

Dennis, you're on the air at 670670 the score dot com. Yeah, and I still remember that sweet we got in that day when I was, you know, leaving the team to go have some fun. Yeah, oh, that was, like the deal, you know. Four days in Vegas. Four days in Vegas. Yeah, four days

in Vegas. I once picked up Dennis Rodman outside of the embassy suites in Oak Book, Illinois 27 minutes before tip off for the game. He walks out wearing nothing but a boa and a pair of slides. And this was the old slides.

The ones were the bottom where your foot had a little knob. It was a whole bunch of little knobs for you to step onto, not a flat surface right then. And he held up one o's and he goes snort between the knobs. I did. We get to the game by halftime. They said he was out with the flu. He had 17 rebounds in the first quarter.

Still 17. 17. I mean, what did my question? Michael Jordan's going to a steakhouse for dinner afterwards. Did Jordan, what did Jordan think about him showing up to the game late? Michael Jordan always gave Dennis Rodman The most respect that Michael Jordan can give to anybody Except Michael Jordan

That's right That's right But when it comes to Michael Jordan In his opinion of what Dennis Robin were Michael Jordan would never be seen wearing what Michael Jordan wouldn't wear Which is everything Dennis Robin didn't wear Okay

And that's a Michael Jordan fact And that was a long black coat Not a trench coat But a little long A duster A duster And he had lined this Oh now you're talking about

Dick Caj's game With Draccar Noir Yeah, Neo, Neo, Neo. There is... Oh, the Matrix? Yeah. Don't bring it that movie up. Don't bring it up.

Why not? Because I read for Neo. What are we going to do our six movies, you can't? I turned that movie down. You turned it down, Mark? They wanted me to play Trinity. No. That would have been a movie.

That would have been some serious action, bro. Or Maddie Matt Matthew McConaughey would have been fantastic in that role. I actually turned down the director's role for that. You were going to direct that movie. You were going to direct the Matrix. That's right, but I chose failure to launch instead. Yeah, well, I think it's, they're basically the same movie. Same movie.

I mean, essentially the same movie. Yeah, I agree. I mean, someone's failing to launch out of the Matrix, and that here you go. And that's, and Terry Bradshaw was great in both. Well, I did Interstellar years later, and I think many, many people would say, they understood it was a film. Hang on. Let me ask you two, Scler, something right now. Okay, yeah, sure, sure.

Hand to God. Okay. Movie comes out. Sure. Nick Cage. Yep. Mark Wahlberg. Matthew McConaug.

Who gets top billing? Obviously. Okay. My question is, do you go see that movie? In the theater opening night. Absolutely. You throw Sam Elliott in there and then we're cooking with gas. The dependables.

I don't look at anything that projects his image on any other object. There. You don't look, anything that projects an image on another object. No, no. I don't watch anything that projects this guy's image on any other object. Oh, on any other option. Be it a screen or a sidewalk. I can't tell if that's a... If I had died in Roadhouse, I'd feel the same way.

Yeah, he did die in Roadhouse. He died in Roadhouse. He died in Roadhouse, and then how did he come back? He's on Landman now, and we're asking ourselves, how does it? Died in Roadhouse. You can't look at, how could you look at me? I'm a lone survivor. That's right.

You're over here being found Dad on a bar. Okay. What are you, Donnie? No, you're not, Donnie. Back of my hands getting real twitchy right about it. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. How's he's within reach?

Hold the cord, Sam. I want to see this fight going out. Rip it out. Yeah, it's like I've never left Vegas. There you go. Everybody fights on the streets in Vegas. Another real question. If you're wrong, you've got to do 10 push-ups.

No. He can't do. Isn't there a movie that stars Nick Cage and Sam Elliott? Yeah. Oh, I think there is. Right now. They all blur together. I'm sure at some point we were on set together.

Wrong, Sam. Sam Shepard. Sam Shepard. Sam Shepard. Not even Sam Shepard. Sam. That other guy. You know, we could ask, artificial intelligence.

Ghost Rider. That'll know. Ghost Rider. Yes, yeah, there we go. Yeah. Ghost Rider. Because he was the previous ghost writer. and he rode out on instead of a flaming motor cycle.

He had a flaming horse. He's a little ghost right now. Oh, I'm, guys, I'm going to go run laps. I'm so jacked right now. Before he was a dream in your mama's eye. Ryan Mask, that was good. He was so good. All right, hey, let's keep this conversation going.

We're going to take a quick break. When we come back, we got more with the characters. This is the 2025 character show. We'll get into some of the issues of what happened this year. I'm so happy we're here. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound, come you down.

It's dumb people town. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Yeah, Jay, this new year, it doesn't require a new you, all right? Let's just say that off the bat. Just like more of a less burden you. And I know we're, I'm speaking in general, but. Oh, I thought you're just talking directly to me. No, no, no, no.

I'm thinking to everyone right now. To the collective view, yes. Yes, everybody's listening or watching. The truth is like you just need to unburden yourself for some things. And the best way to do that is through therapy is two guys who have gone. gone through therapy the new year is a great way to say okay this is what i need to do better this is what i need to you need someone with an unbiased perspective to tell you this is why a therapist is great this third party who can tell you hey what you're saying you maybe need to work on this and even

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and important safety information. Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Very excited that we, are here you guys are here with us end of the year show it's a little treat that we like to give to you we get all the characters we collect them all and uh jay why you i mean we've told the story several times about you running into denzil oh so i was uh i was had to pee inside of a james purse store yeah as many people do yeah that's what you do i go shop there when you can pee i go

inside i go to pee and return gifts there so they knew me fine you come out of the bathroom the store is empty except for one person denzel washington denzil washington Oh, all right, okay. I'm listening to the story. I don't remember this, but go ahead. I believe you. So you were there, I was there. Remember this?

Paparazzi outside. I came over and I said, they're always outside. I know. They're inside. They're outside. They're in every side. I'm surrounding. So I saw you and I said, hey, man, a huge fan.

And you said, hey, you and your brother do something. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. He's like, your actress. Remember that? And I said, yeah. And you said sports. remember that you just looked at me and you said I mean that's what you do right

sports you do sports so I was like we don't do sports I do acting you do sports right well we did comedy about sports I told you that I'm waiting for you to make me laugh I did I made you laugh I said you have kids you said yeah I said teenagers I said yeah I'm like you love him you said yeah and I was like you love being away from him he laughed there you go

oh I did okay no I recognize that that line of humor you do not and then you then said what's your name and you said I said My name is, he said, what do you guys call yourselves? This is a great story, Jay, brother. We're the Sclar brothers. And then you said, you looked at me very closely, and you said, very slowly, you said, The Scala brothers.

No, no, no, no, no, you said the Scala, the Scala, brother. You put an extra syllable. You put an extra syllable. Yeah, yeah. I saw you two ones. That's what I did. Oh, yeah, that's right. I was coming, I think I was going into her coming out of the Piali House.

Yeah. Soho House. No, Soho House. We saw you that you were driving some ridiculous. car that looked like... And I saw you two and I go, I like what you guys do. I like what you guys. Because you're on entourage. We're on your show.

Hi, what do you do? I say, what do you do? I look this good and people pay me for it. You guys remember when I saw you guys... I don't remember Christ's office. It was outside of a Marie calendar. You guys were on the road. We had a locale pie that we took on the road with us. You guys were on the road in Tows, New Mexico.

That's right. You had several shows. Coconut cream. And I said, hey, boys, I remember it. Can you give me a ride to wherever you're going? And you said, oh, no, do our car's full. Because we had picked up Steven Seagal. Remember that, Stephen when we came in? Yes, I remember.

You had asked us for a ride. I've been waiting. You took up the whole backseat. No, no, you laid down for someone. No, I've been waiting. Yeah, waiting for what? Since the last. Oh, he's been waiting the whole time.

Oh, thanks, thanks, Warren. The last episode. Oh, that we. Though you guys did this last day, we all got together. And now you've not left the studios. So you've been hanging out behind these studios for a year now. I worked my way in. You worked my way in the studio with what?

How do you get inside like that? The ceiling tiles are very durable. The ceiling tiles are durable. I was up there for a while. And then I went into a coma. Well, how did he pronounce coma? A coma? It's pretty a lot.

I got pronounced Golar. Yeah, it's got a parcel word out when you were an actor. This man's an actor. That one I recognize. You had a guy. I don't know. You know, you know Steven Seagall. And I would say, I'd go to restaurants and I'd go put it in the bag.

And they would go to the bag and I would go, the body bag. Because it's a bag for your body. Because in the movie, I say, I'm going to take him to the bank. Yeah, and then the body bank. Oh, sorry, I thought it was the body bank. It's a great line. Yeah, see, Nick Cage, right? That's really good.

I want you to deliver that line, Nick Cage. I'm going to take you to the bank. No, still live. I saw you one time, Nicky P. I saw his cage, but whatever. I saw you downtown Disney, Anaheim, California. 2014. You were walking through the crowd like the island of Dr. Moreau.

You were dressed in flowing linen and a big hat. You had a little Asian kid. You had a little Asian kid behind you, and you had like a fun cold doll in another end. And you were dragging this kid. let's go let's go did you ever ride to cars ride there oh Luke Wilson I couldn't tell which Wilson I was talking to

it sounds like Owen doing I'm sorry I'm sorry it's like calling Mark Donnie Come on that's like calling me Randy Why would you do that to him ran? I'm so sorry I didn't I didn't mean to do that What's up on how you doing buddy? You know man I'm trying Best I can do you do you show stick people love your show stick Yeah they love it

Do you play golf? Love the right one man It's crazy do you play golf Did you get any tips from Tiger Woods or anybody to come through and do a little something? No, no, I reached out. He never got back to me. Well, it's interesting because we have Tiger here right now. Tiger, please let Owen know why you didn't get back to him. Well, you know, the fact is, you know, I'm pretty busy.

You are busy. I mean, we're still going through the divorce. Wait, wait, this divorce is still going on. This is like years. Yeah, about 16 years. Yeah, your kids weren't born, I think, when it started. No. So we've had to factor that in, obviously.

And my handicap's actually kind of risen up, so she's kind of factored. that end. Are you still doing your like, like indoor mini golf on ESPN that you guys shooting the sphere? Oh yeah. Yeah. We're, uh, we're, uh, mini golf. That's real golf. You get the shot on a TGF. They're just, they're like Donnie at mini golf. They're called TGF. It's called TGF. When he tries to diminish that. Yeah, I know. Obviously, it's a pretty serious right now. Yeah, Vegas. Did somebody say Vegas? Yeah, he's in Vegas all the time. I love Vegas. Whatever you're, whatever you're doing, bro. I'll meet you there. I'm there. Obviously, you know, you and I played before. Of course. He's got a really strong medium drive

about 150 down the middle I'll take that you guys screaming the whole time Nick did they let you on to the win yet you get to play the win of course The win is a gorgeous one yeah it is a great course You played it you boys at the win we have not played All he does is win win win win win Don't stop that song

I know Mr. Winberry well Oh you do I'm sure you do I'm just going to tell you right now Of course you do the man is a saint Yeah he once saved you know Jerry Jr He's up on the roof and he was trying to show that he could throw the ball as far as Tony and then catch his own pass and he uh take the elevator down and then try and catch it after you throw it no no he was just going to go over the side oh Jesus Christ

he was under that he was under the misconception that gravity doesn't work in los Vegas apparently but um mr. wind luckily an inflatable uh an inflatable mattress for him to land on it's a dry heat it's a yeah and it's a dry like sharpies machine i don't want to yeah shark he's machine and fantastic uh he's so shark he's machine oh really Yes, Dar Robinson stuntman extraordinaire. I actually tried to get Dar to come work for me at my company. To put the Cowboys? Yes, yes.

You wanted him to work for the Cowboys organization? I wanted him to work in the back office. Oh, okay. I thought he was real good. I would just assume that, yeah, that's unbelievable. No, he's not very good at sport. He's good at jumping off things. Okay.

Now, he can jump very far, but. Well, you know, those are like wrestling moves, and we do have a wrestler with us right now. Stone Cold Steve Austin. He does make a person. is he just asked us if he's allowed to read his own ass live reads during his appearance on this show it's such an odd thing to ask how you doing boys we're good great right the bionic rattlesnake the texas bad ass the number one kick you in the teeth and still make you smile yeah so uncle Steve austin in the house working for the worker man trying

to get those ducats now you boys keep it up with your cardio so we are keeping it over the Cardio. I was going to ask you. Well, you have to because if you are looking for the best way to live your healthiest life, look no further than Hems.com. Hibbs has everything you need to have medicine delivered right to your door. The description is required.

Fill out a short questionnaire and write cold at checkout to get $20 off your first annual order. Did you watch John Cena's final match? Did that hit you in any sort of a way? Didn't hit me at all. Okay? Yeah. I thought for a man with no knee braces he did pretty good he did do pretty well he also had a hair restoration if

you are losing hair in your life again you want to go to him all right come okay i've never done anything to my hair that's what to make that abundantly really charlie sheen would beg to if anybody think that's not true you know that is not true what i actually saw him at the hairplane institute you did oh he was there you do you remember that well it's very very blurry but in general i remember a visage of him you went of Nick Cage. When you looked out with Nick Cage, and I watched the documentary this year, and it was unbelievable. It was on fire. Thank you.

It was lit. Just like you, you were lit. When you talked about the other side of the menu, having options on the other side of the menu, were you surprised at how that... Are you ordering something? No, Stephen, we're not ordering anything off a menu at this point. Wait a minute, wait a minute. I just want to say something. But whatever anybody

wants... You want to order for the table? Whatever anybody doesn't want. Order for the table. The level of respect that I have for this man is immense. More than what Steven Seagal? For Steven Seagal? Well, it's not you. Okay, thanks.

There's a lot of us here. It's hard to tell. Specifically. Who you're specifically talking about. Game recognizes another person who's good. That's right. That is it. And Steven Segal, when he says game recognizes another person is good.

He knows Charlie Sheen a fireball. No, no. He translated Game Recognizes game into Japanese and then back into. Oh, you too. That's why I was so comfortable. There's a lot of wild game around the studio that you can eat. there's a lot there's plenty um the wild game around the studio pigeons are let you get very close wait that is insane beautiful birds i love them but well we're i once ate a tiger thigh

you ate a tiger thigh yes what and it with the fur not cooked thank you not cooked and with the fur i'm alive that's insane well listen i would ask tom hanks what he thinks about it but i wish he was he is here he just stepped in hi i uh i've actually gone a vegetarian i uh you know i uh i uh That's what we ate at Epstein's Island. Hey, all right, come on, man. There's a different. Here's the thing that people don't understand. Explain that.

Well, he knows it. He's like doing Snow White off his magic mirror. You know what I'm saying, right there. I'm a Disney guy. All the jokes are Disney. There is two islands. One of them is just buffets. Thank you, Steven Segal.

And the other ones are buffet of children. But the one I went to is all food. It's like old country. I was there too. You're going to say old country buffet? I was going to say a country buffet. I felt like the, I felt like the, I felt like the, fat guy and Willie Wonka

when they walk in. I was like, I can eat this. I can eat this. Yeah, that's what... Yeah. Well, Tom Hanks actually got stuck on a third island and he was there for a while. Lost a lot of weight. I did. Well, the first island, the reason I'm so fat is I was an old country buffet island. And then I went to another

island and I got really thin. It was not great. The diet was just fish. It was just fished at volleyball. It's a great movie. I turned that movie down. I put an island on salads. What? Joe Biden. I just put a thousand island on salads. That's what I do.

Hey, saw you at the Eagles game. Hey, man, take it easy. You should not be having that. I try and be here. Come on. Come on. Come on. He's still alive. Are these guys still yelling at me? I've been out of office for all year. Jesus. I don't know what to do with him. I just, we're going to take a break and we got to deal with Biden. I didn't know he was going to be showing up and he's not. You know right there. Do it if you need to take any of? Yeah, man. Let him lay down.

I took an Amtrak. All right. We're on time. We'll be like a train from Philadelphia to I'll be right back with more Dumb People Town. It's the character episode. Don't go anywhere. And it's Happy New Year. Stick around. Make a sound. Come you down. It's Dump People Town. There's always this guy. Everyone does him. But I try to do a very different kind of guy to keep it very conversational. Oh, that are our old school.

Do you want to do something? All right. Hey, guys, welcome back to the show. It's, you know, we've had a lot of great people on the show. Joe Biden, like just wandered through here. I don't even think he's gone. All right. Get out of here, Joe. But, again. would not leave when he was supposed to. No.

And so we've got some... Well, should have put a plan in place? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he did know. I put a plan in place. I was going to leave. But we've got some tough guys who walked through here and... Liam Neeson is here and has a message for the people who I guess took his daughter. Liam, can I ask you what's...

Hello. My name is Liam Neeson. And let me just make one thing perfectly clear. Go ahead, dude, make you clear. If you take my daughter... If you take any... Anyone's daughter. And that includes the president of you.

United States. That would be the worst. We just made one thing perfectly clear. Make it clear. I will find you. Yep. I turned this down, actually. You did. And I will kill. Okay. Oh, yeah. You turned down the role of the daughter. Well, Schwarzenegger came in and was like, I can do, I can do Nissan. Listen, I respect Mr. Nissen and all his stuff. And everything that he does, you know,

is also terrific and great. But the problem is, you know, you can't really hear him because he's very, very low and he speaks very softly and all his stuff. guy would have put the microphone in his mouth and all these things. Open up your ears. And you say, what the hell is he doing here? Friend. You have to do the work. When you want to be an actor, you have to do the work. We do the voice work. You have to do the accent work and all that stuff. AS, let me ask you something. What do you think of the new running man?

Listen, I think this is a terrific movie for Hollywood right now. We're losing so much labor and work over to Canada and to Georgia and all of these other states and nobody even cares about all these stuff. Listen, I love the running man. Now, could I have done it? Yes, of course. Of course, I can still run. I'm a man. You know what? I'm a running man soon.

Exactly. I run golf. You do. And I would say I would love to hear Vince Vaughn's. I'd start running out of this building. Hey, my man, running man, I thought was a documentary about my heart. You know what I'm saying right now?

Like when I was going to come up, boom, boom, boom. I love this guy. It's like the guy who's for James Brown, who's like, by the drum field that they kind of steal for everything, that's actually part of my heart. And that's where I keep all of you right now. I'm like that movie E.T.

You ever seen with a heart connected where he gets drunk in the he gets drunk in the classroom. Yes. Because E.T.'s drinking the beer. Not a part of the analogy. Couldn't make that movie today, but it's a great film where his finger lights up.

I don't know where that finger goes. Right. I'm not saying. He talks like I work out. Also, by the way, I'm outside of a treadmill right now. It's almost 4 p.m. I got to go to bed.

You're going to sleep for the night. Baby, boy, say how to Christ for me. I woke up really. I talk to him every night before I go to bed. I know you do it. My man, he says hi. I talk in Johnny. I then make sure Jenny's in her room.

Yo, let's go, Mark. Yeah. I'm so sleepy right now. See, he's not waiting in the car. I just think I'm not talking. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I know.

You got to go to bed. You got your bed time. I'm already starting. We got 2 a.m. workout. We got 2 a.m. workout. We started early. I'm thinking about starting my day yesterday.

Okay. When you're going to pre-up. That's what I know if I was pre-in-up. Got to pre-up. Before you go, I need to make one thing perfectly clear. Make it clear, buddy. When you're working out, please. And let me just make one thing perfectly clear.

You must always, at all times. And let me just make one thing perfectly clear. Make it. Dude, I have... You have a spotter. Oh, yeah. And who is that? I don't need a spotter.

This is true. You always have a spotter. Franco Colombo one time had to go to the urinal and he left it here. And the pop and came over. And you had it on your neck and you almost go to yourself. But luckily, my neck is muscular. Right. So I was able to lift it off of my neck.

With your neck. With your neck. I lifted it with my own neck. Off the neck with the neck. I love it. I love it. Tom Hanks, you've worked out for roles as well. So you're not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but here you are.

You're in the presence of this guy. I want to see, what do you think? What do you think? Well, I just want to say that I am such a fan. We tried to get him for a lot of the movies. We tried to get him to play a shake weight in Toy Story. Well, so, and why wouldn't you do that? This would have been fantastic.

Well, and you're such a recognizable voice. I could have seen you. That was when you're shaking. But that's when you're shaking. This is why he's American sweetheart, you know. Be nice to each other. Come, I'm having the car. Be nice to each other.

I'll do a movie. with all of you tomorrow do a movie with everybody do a movie oh sweet I got four movies on play for tomorrow dude six in the can I'm gonna be six in the can part two let's go six in the can part two all I love you boys I love love you love you sheen you had a year you had a year yes uh your

documentary is out are you getting roles now is this now changing are you now finding yourself being called into casting couches yes absolutely absolutely and they're all for roles of the playing for bisexual as I've already done oh okay oh sorry Yes.

That was the big reveal in the movie is that you, that you swing both ways. Is that correct? No, sorry, spoiler alert. Well, I mean, I was, you know, listen, I mean, that's the way that I was in major league and obviously. You did play. I slept with several of my catsmen. You slept with several of the cats? Corbyn Burson.

Did you sleep with Corbyn Burtz? Had him. Had him. Six ways to Sunday. Six ways to Sundays. So F. And they got him again on Monday. Winning.

Oh, geez. Oh, wow. FU. Jobu was actually a command. You followed through on that. I did. Wow. Phenomenal I believe it was actually up your butt

Jorbu And you said Jorbu not Well that's what I That's when I read for that role I never forget the way I read things So I saw Jorbub And a lot of people don't know

They said Jorbu was based on Well Jar Jorbing's was based on Jorbos Oh really? Yeah yeah He was Pro retroactively Jorbu Jorbu

When he gets wrote Roussa Mursa Wusson Jor B All right so wait George R. Biggs is here with us in studio? Is it? He's there. I'm he's in right now, so. That feels so racist.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not so racist, though. Uh-huh. I don't make the character, so. I just played the character. Wasn't Neeson in Star Wars? Am I wrong? Let me just make one thing.

You know, likes a Nisa. I was the role of Quigon Chin. Yeah. And I made it very clear that I would never, ever come back and play Quigon Jin. But let me just make one thing perfectly. I have come back to play quite hunches several times. Several times. Well, just the idea that, like, I would have loved to have seen Tom.

Vince Vaughn as... Vince Vaughn as the emperor would have just been fantastic. Just loose his brain. You know, here's the thing I say, the dark side of the force. Yeah. You've seen it in your real life. Baby boy, I'm living it right now. You're leaving the dark side of the force right now.

I'm a Sith Lord. Yes, in many ways. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We got great things in the future. Oh, God. The lightsaber. I got all the same thing.

That's the force. They're right there. Yeah, that's a force acting through you and through the lab search. I'm going to do all of it. I say that for vaccines too. Right. I'm to do your research. Well, you and Cheryl Hines.

So now, and Star Wars is a long movie. There was a brief thought that potentially Matt McConaughey could be the new voice of Yoda's voice, but I just think the movie would have just taken way too long. It would have gone in a different course. You are a philosophical person. There you go. See what he did? He flipped the syntax. You inverted the syntax.

You know, I studied the character. a lot. I watched all the movies. And you decided not to do that, but instead to do like a BetMG ad? Is that what you did? No, I mean, well, Camilla and I really were struggling with the decision whether I wanted to went for Governor Texas. Oh, yeah, I remember that. You're at the Texas football games

all the time. Star Wars was a trivial matter because I'm talking about saving mankind. Yeah, that's true. And Vince Vaughn's talking about like crashing an EWalk wedding. Which is fine. Hey, those EWACs don't how to party. They do know how to party. I'm getting there. The fur, I motorboated from. time. That's the next one we're going to do.

That's how wipe up my face. I've ever seen Battle for Endor. You guys, the fact that just, you guys are Owen Wilson. I've been waiting. I've been waiting for the call. We've got to do this, my man. We got to, right now, I mean, he could play the wookie right over there. He just be like, I'm ready. I'm ready. And if they could just work Michael Kane into the new wedding crashes, I'm in. I'm available.

You're available to work. And for, and I will, it's the ultimate wedding crash. I will only come and do the film. If? If. Oh, God. He's breathing. You make it a moment. Okay, fine. We'll make it as moot.

Because if there's no emotion attached. I agree. Why are you crushing the weddings? Can you... Why are you crashing the weddings if you don't have an emotion? Right, Michael. This is absolutely the only thing that matters. Thank you.

Is emotion. Thank you. To the core of your being. Scalaboters look at us right now. I'm looking at us. Don't stop at me. I'm looking directly at you. Look at us.

Jason and Randy, you've got to look at us right now. Look at me in the arm. Don't blink. I'm not blinking. No, neither one of you. Neither one of you, even I should, your eyes should be dry. There are two looking at us. Two sclop right there.

Oh, there's a third. There's a third. He is now sport. I've just. He's spored into a third. I'll just be chubby guys. Okay. You're very emotional.

Very emotional. We're like the cordy sims. We're the cane as hips. We just keep growing and spitting. We're like remnants. You beat us after midnight. A little cane will grow out of us. That's right.

It's, no, get us wet. I will not get you wet. It's like you're like Magwise. My wife whose name is Shakire. Don't get a sweat. Don't get... Every time I'm around here. I get wet from my eyes.

Gizmo's here. Oh, shit. Gizmo, did you have a good 2025? Yeah. What was... And I almost stole my voice. Oh, God. Did steal your voice.

I'm not really happy about that. I am happy. I'm going to stop eating the food over there. That's not for you, man. It's not for you. One last... Just a quick one. word from the world champion Dodgers, one of the greatest announcers of all time, just to hear

Vince Scully come back here. What a year it was. What a year it was, Vince. What a year it was, Vince. What an incredible year for the Dodgers out of ravine, as I like to call it. And, you know, they all came together as a team of destiny. Right. Reminded me of Kirk Gibson. You remember that famous hit with his hurt leg and bounced around the bases in glory and honor. Of course, we would have wished that Steve Garvey could have been on this team. Then it would have been. that much cleaner and better. Cleaner. That feels...

Hang on a minute. That's borderline. I don't know what you're getting out. I'm just saying he had a... It feels unbelievably true. And it feels... I wish they were cleaner, you know, not from shithole teams.

They're not. No, no, no. Japan is a country that might even be... I voted for him before I kicked a bucket and I don't regret it. Oh, come on. Oh, come on. Stop it.

I know that sense. He's unbelievable. This guy is so great. A lot of people say he's not great, okay? But I disagree completely because a lot of people would say the Japan is good the bowie good okay I say bowie if you're from a country excuse me sure if you're from a country where they bind the feet okay that's or they bow if you're from a country too much not at all not at all not enough not enough with

the Patriot games okay weekend at bernies okay they're doing a third why we couldn't vote weekend at bernies over here female Obama okay they couldn't beat me female Obama and weekend of buries show back up a little Joe Joe you're I didn't realize I thought you left you and you and you he's got a toe tag on the DOI toe tag on the DOI I know well so he tried to leave outside and he's and Don is coming back in did Mark not take you out of there Donnie I got lost I got in the wrong car I know but I got in the wrong car why is everyone out of breath while the air quality it's really bad right now you're out of breath Michael Cain's out of breath look it's hard well the reason they're out of breath is very clear

oh it's an I mean yeah these these ducks need some work okay you guys are pumping out lots of toxins. I don't know if it's left over from the L.A. fires or not. We don't know. I can't believe that Al Gore and Donald Trump are in the same room right now. It's kind of unbelievable. It's kind of wild. There's a face-to-face. Al Gore is off, if you will. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's happened before. And Jeffrey knows about it. I was never there. The only Jeff I've been around is Epstein. Wait a minute. I've said too much. You did. All right. Now you were supposed to say. I will just, we got to end this episode. I want to thank everybody who joined us on here,

but we're going to end it with one final, final thought. Who's he talking to? Not you, Joe. Come on, man. We're going to end with one final thought from the great Anthony Bourdain. If you can just any final thoughts on 2025 this year, send us off. Lake Great. Anthony Bordane. Yeah.

Looking back at an unbelievable year with friends and family and a world in chaos, you ask yourself, is this how it's supposed to be? Well, the truth is, whether you look in the mirror or you look to those around you, you were in control of your own chaos. The important thing is that we lived, we laughed, we learned. And I'm not really for bed, bath, and beyond, but that one gets it right. So I'm going to eat, pray, love, my way to another meal, a banquet full of friendship, full of love, full of happiness.

And we're going to make 2026 the greatest year of all time. God bless and good night. There you go, Anthony Bordane, to all the characters that came on. on here. I want to thank everybody and hope you guys have a happy new year and oh snap we got to get back to work.