Dumb People Town - Trae Crowder - Steak Tips & Takis Fire

Episode Date: March 18, 2025

Comedian Trae Crowder (Trash Daddy, WellRed podcast on ATC) stops by as Daniel describes why a meathead attorney sparked a brawl at a wedding, Randy explains why a Massachusetts official misused funds on steak tips and a self portrait, and Jason warns against trying to burn down a house with Takis, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsors: ASPCA Pet Insurance and VIIA Hemp! To explore coverage, visit ASPCApet insurance.com/DPT. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. So if you’re 21+, treat yourself to 15% off and get a free gift with your first order using our exclusive code: [DPT] at VIIAHEMP.COM—plus, enjoy free shipping on orders over $100!

Dan and Rand and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware they lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose. We'll make the news breaking down each epic fail. In Florida there's half price bail. I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast band with co-hosts Arm and Dan. Banders, don't be a jerk. That's where the music gets the funny hits.

When we're talking about the music, we're talking about the music. And we're talking about the music. And we're talking about the music. And we're talking about the music. And we're talking about the music. And we're talking about the music. And we're talking about the music. And we're talking about the music.

And we're talking about the music. And we're talking about the music. And we're talking about the music. And we're talking about the music. And we're talking about the music. So listen to our podcast ram with co-host Armand Dan. Members, don't be a jerk, because when the music gets the funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, underdown, it's Dumb People Town. Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population, you. Population, Crowder. Trey Crowder, last time you were on, putted that video up, people watched it, man. People love you. Yeah, well, I mean, I did graduate from Dumb People Town High.

You did. Class of 04. DPTH, DPTH, 04? Yeah, HS, yeah. I feel like we're all graduates of this goddamn world. Yeah, I'm from a particularly dumb people town, but yeah. I mean. What's your hometown? It's called Salina, Tennessee.

Salina. And it should be pronounced Selena. Probably. Right, yes. But they don't wanna get it too close to the... Speaking as Latin, I was... Right, speaking as guys who grew up in, from Creve, Cor, which is French, really, it should be...

Creve, Cor. But where we grew up in St. Louis. Creve, Cor. Yeah, there's Versailles, Kentucky, but it's Versailles. Versailles. Lafayette is Lafayette. Lafayette. Right by Salina, yeah, so we do that a lot.

Yeah, we're gonna make it ours. We're gonna make it our own. New York does it, Houston. Dan, stop. What? Stop it, Dan. How do they pronounce it Houston Houston Houston? Do you really? Just I mean why it's Houston right Houston. So I mean Manhattan does it I feel like yeah, they can do it Yeah, everybody else can go

Definitely why we did like you heard what Manhattan's doing. Yeah, we gotta be more like it's salina We gotta be more like Manhattan. There you go. All right. Well the world's getting dumber We got stories to prove it Daniel. You got the first one. Yes, let's do it. It's a Jake groany I love Jake groany agre a groany at Jake groany. I love this headline meathead attorney He's arrested just a caveman I don't understand you modern ways he had attorney is arrested for sparking huge brawl at wedding Nice yeah, so he's an attorney who isn't me yeah, he doesn't represent. He doesn't specialize in meat head Bores head A lot of work these days.

Boarshead might be gone. The Age of Alpha males and all that stuff. If they're bringing your profession in to the headline of what you do for a living, they're just really trying to take you down. Oh, for sure. Because it's never like, plumber attorney arrested for fighting brother.

Well, it would be like meathead plumber, but they're not gonna say that. No, that's correct. But if you're an attorney, it's like, they're like, come on, but they're not gonna say that. No, that's right. But if you're an attorney, they're like, come on, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you should know better. The juxtaposition between what you did and what you, the decorum you're supposed to have. I'm sure the headline came in,

attorney sparks brawl at wedding. And everyone's like, wait, who is this guy? It should be area man strikes, creates ball. Or what is his profession? One man responsible for brawling. They wanna shock you into being like, an attorney started all this? a man strikes creates ball or what is his profession anything they want to shock you into being like an attorney started also you don't know yet but they're also being a little punny he was definitely someone's head head attorney is arrested for sparking huge

bra thank you New York Post Daily Mail there you go. A Florida attorney allegedly sparked a huge brawl over prime rib after two young girls cut in line at a wedding buffet. You can't cut in line, man. I mean, yeah, no, so far I'm with him. I can't do that. It depends on his response, I guess. Isn't this too early in the night, though?

Yeah, Dan. Dinner, you're already line fighting kids. I love that you have a wedding story because as we've said, and we're gonna say this to Trey, every time there is, Dan, you need to write a book, let me dance with your aunt, the guide, I'll dance with your aunt, the guide to being the best wedding guest ever.

Dan has all these stories, all these details, he knows how to do it, he knows how to tip the bartender, he knows exactly what to do, this is how you become a grower. Dan knows how you should take the centerpiece. I was at a wedding once in St. Louis and I got him to give me an entire bottle of Bullet Bourbon. That's right! That's it!

At the bar. Do you hear this? You should be the, well, no, he's a meathead attorney, not a wedding attorney. I do defer to you on matters of meat-based justice. But two young girls at a wedding, cut I do defer to you on matters of meat based justice. Yeah, he had a wedding. But two young girls, cut in line at a buffet,

and you're already that level of drunk bad? Also like- Young girls, is that part of what? Kids. Children? Yes. Okay, well then nevermind. I thought you were gonna double them.

Trying to take down two young girls, who are you, Matt Gaetz? Hang on a second. They're gonna get, first of all they're two young girls, they're not gonna get like stacks of meat to where it gets to you and you're like, we're out. They clear out the medium rare. We only got the fatty piece at the end.

The Girl Scouts. Maybe this is sexist. They're ages. Taking all the primo cuts. Yeah. But I think I would sort of give a little side eye at two young kids super excited to jump in line for a carving station. I'd be like, you want this?

Yeah, I'd be like, great. You know how many noodles and cheese are over there? Good for you. It's a buffet. Good on you. Prime rib. Prime rib, dude. Mark Rohr.

Rohr. R-O-H-E-R. He doesn't have enough consonants for his name. Rohr. You literally sound drunk saying his name. Mark Roar. Yeah. What?

Okay, buddy. Who you here with? Let's help you up. Who's your buddy over there? Mark Roar. Don't the Brits call a fight, they say Row. A Row.

Not Row. You know, Mark, Row her. Yes. It was Row her, maybe better. This is our favorite thing with Jay Larson, that there's the pasta sauce. And a restaurant. RAO, how do you pronounce it?

Rows. How do you pronounce it? Rows. Right, so that's the way we pronounce it. And Jay said, no, it's Raios. And we're like, you're wrong. You're wrong, dude, it's not Raios. And he's like, oh, I'm sorry, in classic Jay Larson style.

I'm sorry, did you sit down at the restaurant with the owners of the restaurant and hear them pronounce it? And we're like, they could be, then it became. Isn't that in New York? So then it became our thing to just pronounce it wrong all the time around it. And say that they might be saying it wrong.

So we're gaslighting the hell out of Jay Larson about it. And I was at Al Madrigal's Christmas party and I'm hanging out with Dave Anthony and Dave's like, oh, I know the people from, who own Rouse. Rouse, Rouse, Rouse. He thought it was Rouse. He's like, oh, I know the people who own that thing

and I was like, can you have them call Jay? I just say, dude, we have been actually screwing up. We went through like a 23 minute, it's ssr.com, we have been mispronounced again all the time, like get them to call. So it is Rayos? I'm still, yeah. It's Rayos.

Jay is right. Jay is right, but we don't want Jay to be right. But like I'm right when I tell people it's Jif, I just eventually had to realize no one gives a shit. Right, I say Gif. Of course. It's Jif. The guy who invented it calls it a Jif.

It's just no one gives a shit. And then everybody was like, well that guy's wrong. Right, yeah. We've all decided. Yes, 100%. But I just love that like, if we could get this guy. So Dave Anthony, if you're listening to this podcast,

and I'll get to you. Jay Larson will never listen to this podcast, so we know our secret. Yeah, we were like, fine. Our secret is safe with you guys. Same with you guys. Long time since we had Jay in here. Right, but so like, I want that voicemail to come to Jay

and I want Dave to get it just where they're like, sorry man, we have been saying it wrong the entire time. That would be the greatest thing ever. Oh my God, it was just so great. All right. It's funny to think of them learning, if that really did happen, them learning that and then having to make a list of people

that they have to like call and correct. Yeah, we gotta do this. Where's Jay on that list? Jay, he's on that list? How many people have you called today? 36, what are you down to? The L's, did you call Jay Larson? Not yet. Mark Rohr. Mark Rohr.

Rohr. Has been accused of smashing a plate over a man's head after two children skipped him in line at a prime rib carving station on January 18th at Boca Lago country club according to the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office Smashing a plate over a man's head could be good luck. It's a slobberknocker Pro-wrestling that's what it got but I mean was that their dad Believe so okay, but I was gonna say when you said they were children,

I was like, I was like, ah, well, nevermind, because you can't like flip out on kids. No. But you could be, you know, if the parents, I'm not saying, you don't smash a plate over their head. You can't. In a restaurant, I think you could be a little bit like, hey, what are the rules here, right?

Right. But if it's any sort of wedding or family gathering, especially kids or elderly, you can have, even if it's your sister's husband, even if it's your brother-in-law, then you get to go, you're doing that, David? Yeah, we're gonna let our kids know. Like, you can give him a little shit,

but unless David goes, all right, all right, it's just, he's just getting food in front of you. I totally agree, so if the kids are doing it, but you said earlier, you're like, that's a little weird too, like young girls going to the carving station, maybe this guy put it together, or the thinker, that they're getting this for their dad.

Their dad sent them in there. All right, sent them in, and he sussed that out. It's like, what the hell, Randy? One trip to the carving station. There's a big sign that says one trip per one cut only We're a few months away from my family having their 82nd annual family reunion Holy crap started it right in the middle of World War two 1943. There you go. My family gets together same park second Sunday in June love it and

there's a it's a you know bring a dish to pass. Of course. Yeah. And I am responsible for getting Rosemary's plate and I've been doing that for I don't know if I figured out probably 20 years. I don't know. Right. But you do get looks of people being because I'll just walk right. Right. I'm not in line when the lights are. I just walk in. Rosemary is our oldest. Her parents and their cousins started. She was 13 when this. She gets the first plate. So people go, oh, in my family it's Danny.

And they're like, Danny, you're jumping in, you know? Oh, jumping in. Right, and I go, it's for Rosemary. And obviously everybody's cool. And then they're looking at what you're picking and they're like, is that for her? She doesn't eat that. Of course it's for her.

I've actually gotten to the past few years, I really don't eat. Dan, you'll go last. It's about time I get her. You'll go last. Yeah, I don't care. So I'm gonna put a scenario out in which it's okay to smash a plate on someone's head.

Oh no, this is the other side. I'm gonna play devil's advocate here. Your two daughters go up and they're just young and being just themselves and they go up in line. And they like. So excited for the carving station. That red hum of heat. They just love it and the guy with the hat

that's like way too tall. Why does he have to wear a hat that's that tall? He has short hair. It's like you don't even have like a. How about the. Red locks. That video of the guy who like making small talk at the carving station.

That's like the greatest TikTok ever. It's like crazy weather we're having. Did you see the game last Saturday? Anyway, anyway, so. It's always extremes with the carver at the carving station. They either really, really respect this calling in their life or they are so drunk. They're so like, I cannot be here right now.

What do you want? She's not returning my calls? Yeah, that's great I just wanna can you hold my phone while I carve this? I'm gonna tell you the code and then I need you to send a text. What do you think they fall in the hierarchy of like? Yeah Hold it up to my face feels on unlock feels unlock. Feels prestigious. You're the true artist. Right, yeah. You definitely have a weapon in your hand.

People are gonna be very opinionated about what you're doing. For sure. Obviously, they'll throw plates at you. Have the right to be like, Cindy, we are out of Jell-O cubes. Right. Over there, now.

Right. Also, you'll have, speaking of people giving you lots of notes, can you slice it a little thinner, is from people. Can you make sure there's no, can you cut the fat off? People giving them lots of stuff. Everyone's your boss. You throw me another one, we're only allowed to give two. Just throw another one on there. There's a lot of fat on that one. Can I get a little? So your kids go in line and they're very excited to go to the Carving Station and somebody

else loses their shit about it and they grab your kid, lay hands on your kid and throw them away. You get your plane and you can just. Yeah, but the guy who grabbed the kids is the one who hit with his plane. Once you've greeted the guest, start a brief conversation. Try asking a question the guest can answer in a six or two.

You might ask something like this. Is it still hot out there? Did you catch a game last night? Thank you. or two you might ask something like this thank you I would love to try those on you means get away get away from my station have you tried getting the fuck away from you yeah yeah you're right what's over on the other side of the room but like you said it's the it's the it's the aggressive assumed kid Aggressor who hurls the play yeah, right? Oh the kid hurls the plate no The kids hits another man with a plate yeah, Roarer Roarer hit the guy the horror Scoville Roarer hits Another man hits the scene possibly dad of the two girls all right here we go oh

yes that is the very next sentence actually the victim who got hit in the head with the pleasure who was the father of one of the children ignored that ignored the man yelling at him and did not respond so he's in the he's in the back of the line going the hell you're gonna do this to your kit you're gonna let that budge and the guy's just like, not even. When Royer confronted him, he continued to ignore the man while he was being yelled at, did not respond. Is that worst, Trey, that if you don't say,

if someone's yelling at you and you don't say anything, that's, I feel like that's such a level of disrespect. You're not even engaging with them. If you were to be like, ah, it's kids, just let them be, they're not gonna get that much. No, I keep thinking, again, I'm not saying we should've smashed a plate on his head, but a lot of this stuff, I feel like it's fair

to be pretty annoyed by what I'm picturing has happened here. The escalator. The dude is there with the kid. Right, letting it happen. He's like, yeah, a party to it. Maybe he led the kids up there. I got kids and it's like when you see a kid when you see a parent like clearly just straight up letting a kid do something

that is not socially acceptable and they're just right there not doing it I mean it does drive you crazy. I agree with that. But at the same time if I'm four let's say it's you two or three people people, then me, and your kids come up, definitely one of them is your child, these two kids come up to get in line with you at the carving station. Am I supposed to go, hey, kids to the bat? Okay.

Like, you're with them to be like, girls, I'm going up to get in line. After you go to the bat, whatever you're doing, I need to get over here and get in line. I pictured them all, man and children, arriving to the cut. At the same time to cut. If you're saying that the dad get in line. That's I pictured them all man and children arriving to cut same time that the dad was in line and the daughters join him that's a Because they don't say the dad then join Insane

Dad is behind him and he's not though. Oh, he's okay. Yes I think the dad's because the guy because Rohrer approaches the dad with the girls Okay, so Rohrer is mad that they are seemingly mad that these two young girls joined the girls are a trojan horse To allow the dad to get if the girls came up first already there and the dad tried to do the talking cut Like hey girls, what are you doing? And he slips in the line and now he's tried to do the talking cut like hey girls what are you doing and he slips in the line and now he's gonna catch it. Well that's the main to me that is the primary distinction yes was the dad there or not. I think he was there. If you're right about that then yeah this dude's a lunatic. I would also be like hey man we're not even sat down for dinner yet and you're probably gonna get kicked out of this wedding. You're running too high. Just by yelling. Yeah like well I'm wonder if this dude's on one of those like caveman diet

Paleo diet Man lawyer, you know, I assume those guys when it's been too long since they've had without provocation the large bald man Or do we have to yeah? Yeah, I'm sorry. Do we have to? Yeah. Do we have to? Well, they want people to go like, oh, right. You are a large bald man.

Now look, I do always agree, paint the picture as accurate as possible, right? But what does the baldness have to do with it? Like, he's already mad about the, like, is it? I don't know. It's just jacked with testosterone. I'm gonna show you later. The large bald man.

The large bald man, roar-er, if you're nasty. So now I'm thinking of, like, the villain in Over the Top. Oh, they keep going. The large bald man, roar-er. So now I'm thinking of like the villain in Over the Top. Oh they keep going. The large bald man, Roarer, struck the slimmer man. He gets grace. On the head with a dinner plate. From there on, don't say that. No, there can't be more.

One word there on. A melee began between a large number of wedding guests. See, this is when it all starts. Right. First plate is thrown and then forget it. I mean, both benches clear. We're hanging out after a show. As we've done in DC, I look across the room,

someone hits you in the head with a plate. Right. I don't need any questions. No, I'm coming over. I'm coming over. I am not coming over. I am charging. I am charging. I am charging.

Hey, hey, hey. If I can punt kick someone, I might drop kick somebody. Now I'm in a moral position when I hit the ground. So I'm gonna need a tag team partner coming over the top. Give me a reason. But so of course a fight started. Of course. You imagine in a wedding?

Well, I was gonna say, you're the wedding expert. Is that change at all from 1 a.m. at a bar to you say is it dip you know you're the wedding expert is that change at all from? You know 1 a.m.. At a bar to you're at someone's special day Yeah, happens does that make it even more. Oh you see aggression in your yeah, and you've made this son still out Son still out dinner plates being broken shards going towards aunts and grandmas Kids you guys you got gotta drag this guy out. This guy's gone, you're out of here. See, that's a good question.

A lot of times I would go with the apprehend drag, but if it was one of my friends. You say bouncing client, I can see you bouncing. For nine years. If it was one of your friends, Dan, you would get ahold of the situation. No, if it was one of my friends and I see a weapon

being used on somebody, I might be coming straight fist. But I'm saying if one of your friends had done it, you would hold off. You're out. You're out. You're out. Aggressively out. So like, I recently, when they caught some guy

who was trying to start a fire in something, like in the neighbor's car, and they held him down, I'm like, why aren't guys just kicking his head? Well, you get to kick him. You get a few good kicks. Everyone is allowed a couple kicks. When the cops come, just a couple kicks. I feel like it hurt.

Watch out, I'm down. I felt like, yes, I agree. Why is that bad? I mean, we don't know that they didn't. Yeah, they could have. Because if they did, the cops were probably like, well, they're allowed those kicks. I don't have to report those kicks.

A couple kicks. Take off some teeth. A couple of snouts. At those kicks. I don't have to report those kicks. A couple kicks. Take off some teeth. A couple of snouts. At this point, you caught him trying to start a fire. A couple kicks. Yeah, one time, not to make it too dark, but one time my mom and stepdad got into the whole thing, and the cops came.

And he was being a real drunk asshole. And the cops just let her have one free shot with a bat, a bat. And she clocked him with it and they were like, all right, thanks ma'am, and they left. And I don't think that made any report is what I'm saying. Well, but then how do you live past that? What's the aftermath of that in your house?

You probably, well, I'm afraid. Not great, but you know. We ate all the gory details, but I'm just saying, I've seen cops be like, you know. Give them one. You give them one and that's fine, depending on the circumstances. You know?

Yeah. Give them one. Okay, so the large melee begins. Wedding's over now. Wedding's over. The party's over. Unless it's a great wedding, in which case you can re-rack that wedding

and we're still having a good time. Yeah, really it's up to the DJ. A waiter at the venue told police the plate broke when Rohr allegedly. If you're the DJ, if you're the DJ, I'd throw him an extra 50 if he plays everybody who's kung fu fighting. Why not?

Extra 50. Walking on broken glass? If you know the Democrat, maybe I never scared by Bone Crusher. That's a good one. I used to know a nightclub DJ who told me that during that era, he was doing it in like, in Chattanooga, Tennessee and around Atlanta and stuff

and like they, all the clubs had a standing rule That you were not allowed to play that song really because it would result in a brawl Yeah, and we had a house party after a comedy show one night and he had told us that story earlier and about 2 a.m I went to the iPod and turned it on and he just started tearing shit up all over the place Told you yeah, I told you supposed to do? He's like, I told you! I told you! You know there are weddings where there's rules like no WAP. You can't play WAP at weddings.

Yeah, I've been at one of those weddings and I was very pissed off. Like you can't play them at weddings. Fire this up. Fire it up. It's a big hit in my friend group. Sure. Okay, so anyway, the big fight begins. A waiter at the venue told police the plate broke when

Ror allegedly struck the other man more dishes were reportedly shattered as guests got involved in the chaos and I can't think of the movie in my mind where somebody just keeps throwing plates down. Oh, I know it's in my head somewhere. The victim said in the police report that he was trying to remove himself from the situation and turned away from Aurora once he started getting agitated. Did he not see Million Dollar Baby?

Yeah, you can't turn around. You can't turn around? No, don't turn around. I appreciate staying calm, but more of watching while walking backwards. Yeah, you do have to do that. I do get thinking in your head, I mean, there's no way he's gonna hit me with that plate.

We're at a wedding, the sun is out, my child is here right he's not gonna assault me with dishware I hope the carving station guy was like sir now you don't even have a plate right Go to that he smashes the plan on his head. He's like you catch that game the other day Still hot lasagna, it's my favorite That's great. Still hot off that? Try the lasagna. It's my favorite. When he recalled being hit with the plate and shoved by Rohrer before grabbing him by his

collar, a witness confirmed this story. Oh my god. Upon arrest, Rohrer refused to talk to authorities and asked to contact his lawyer. He is a lawyer. He knows the drill. He is a lawyer. Here's what's funny though. He later decided to speak with police, admitting that he initiated the conflict.

Dummy! So he first starts out, lawyer. I'm not talking to you. Lawyer. He's drunk. Then by the time they get to the station, he's like, alright. Alright, I'll tell you.

I did it. Although he was like, I mean, I'm a lawyer. I am my lawyer. I'm here, so that counts. He's representing himself. I know what not to say. I'll speak on my behalf. I did it.

Yeah. He reportedly told police He said speak to my lawyer and then he just turns this way Yeah, Stuart smiling himself a hat out puts it on you're partly told police that he did push the father But denied breaking a plate over his head everybody saw it bro. That's gonna be the one thing everybody talks about Broken plate that better off saying I didn't initiate I didn't push him He pushed me. Rorah also said that he was injured when other guests tried to pull him away.

This is my favorite. Because this would happen a lot in the past. We would stop a fight, and the person would be like, you hurt my arm. I'm like, I hurt your arm dragging you off of a person. Because you're pulling me away. I'm gonna sue you guys for stopping your fight. For stopping you beating someone else up. Mm-hmm

That plate that plate was too hard. I Find blame the play fault. I find probable cause that Mark Stewart rower roar It's in violation of Florida statute as he did actually Inattentionally touch and strike the victim and in doing so used a plate as a weapon their resting deputy wrote according to Bokka news now there you go Rohr was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon is bailed out of the Palm Beach County Jail after his $1,000 bond was met

according to the Florida bar Organization Rohr specializes in bankruptcy and commercial litigation and has his own law firm. Moral bankruptcy? His website reads, attorney Mark S. Rohrer has experience in private practice representing both individual and corporate clients in business and consumer bankruptcy. Don't cut him in line of termination. He's turned into a commercial for Mark. Probably because they feel bad about the fat ball thing.

He now works out of an office at Broward County. He studied at the University of Miami, So he's a part of your grade. He has no blemishes on his disciplinary record. Okay. He likes to he doesn't just like to pass the bars. He likes to hit the bars. That's right. We're going to guess how old he is. Show us a picture of him. Yeah. Okay. Oh boy. Sort of looks like he could have been Kingpin. He looks like he could have been kingpin he looks like it's like he could have been a genie that came out of the Bottle he let's say you should be like classified differently than that But there is a Like a team who spider-man villain Yeah, he definitely knows where the best place to get a French dip in in Broward County is yeah

Yeah, it looks like a sweet pair of a lot of the family rap rap rap rap rap Yeah, doesn't he kind of just look like a thumb of course He does look like a thumb if a thumb became a person we can't even be he also looks like Lipitor yeah, he looks like Like if he was a villain, his name would be Lipitor. I've never seen a goatee look so small on someone's face. By the way, that is huge. That's bigger than your beard.

Bigger than your beard, Dan. Big ol' face. Goatees are kinda confined to one area regardless of the general width of the face. So you got a wild ass face. A goatee is like a really large guy, like on a guy like that is like a really large guy drinking a thing of tea, a small cup of tea.

Not a lot of people have that much flesh around the eyes. I'm just saying the side skull. Just the whole head. Also the sleepiness of his eyes is like, he's got a. He looks like one of those toys where you can move the face around if you want. You can move. Right? No, you can move the goatee around up to his eyebrows with a magnet, okay?

How old and everybody should check this out, okay? How old is mark roar 49? I was gonna say 52 45 all right one of you is exactly what I'm saying Switch your answer to a number that's already been set or stay with your stuff? I'm sticking. 49. 45. Okay. We will end story number one. Mark, roar. Then I'll get to tell you what I'm up to. And we'll find out if Trey's got any special coming out.

Ooh, that's fun. Or it's already out when this drops. Yes, that's true. Okay. Mark, I believe Joseph. Stop. Something. Stuart. Roar. Roar.

Roar. Is 52 years old. Joseph stop something Stewart roar is 52 years Alright first story down in the books we come back we'll find out about trades new special where you can catch that and so much more Hey gang welcome back to the show before we jump into Trey's new special. Daniel, tell us where people can catch you. It's the middle of March when this drops so let people know. So in a couple weeks at the end of this month I'll be doing a weekend in Denver at Denver Comedy Underground and then I'll also be in Milwaukee next month. I'll be in central Wisconsin at the Thrasher Opera House in New Orleans.

A whole bunch of other dates. Go to danielvankirk.com and listen to my solo podcast that I do called The Midnight Air right here on All Things Comedy. It drops every Monday and if you have an interesting job you can email me at themidnightair.gmail.com because I'm going to be interviewing people just talking about what they do for a living if you have a job where people say I've never met anybody who does that never heard of that. I want to talk to you, Dan You've had all the job which is gonna fund Grave Jigger federal agent I've been around the bar have you had anybody that like has to you know like

Masturbate an animal because I got a breed it you know that no, but I No, but I've done that. Okay, yeah, right, checks out. I think last time around you talked about cows. We talked about it on your podcast. Oh, right, but when I was on here, we talked about that guy that used to say buying cows, but he and we, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I've been shoulder deep into a cow.

That's right. Shoulder deep into a cow. But yeah, but that's typical farm work, right? You gotta harvest the same. Is that even a particular job or that's just a side gig that you do a lot of other things? He lost his car keys. You either have to learn how to do it,

which isn't common, or you have to bring someone in. And yes, you can. Oh my God. You could easily lose your car keys. My wedding ring. You could lose your wedding ring. Well, you're cut. You're all the way.

You're all the way up in there. It's gotta feel warm. It's like a bread bag that goes all the way up to your forehead. It's gorgeous. Come on. Hey, Trey, you got a new special. Your special dropped on March 13th. This just drops.

It's a couple days in. So talk to us about it. Where'd you shoot it? Where is it at? Where can people find it? It's called Trash Daddy. It's on the 800-pound Gorilla YouTube channel. Fantastic.

Filmed it in Dallas, the Addison Improv. Love that club. Yeah, lovely. So yeah, it's a lot of fun. I'm still touring, as always, putting the new hour together now. Of course. If you guys come and see me,

it'll be completely different, obviously. Great. And yeah, all my dates are at TreyCrowder.com, and then yeah, check that out on YouTube, and I appreciate you. I love it. I love it. Great way to support comics. Watch this special, share it, and podcast stuff for you

so people can check out for you, follow you. Yeah, we got the Well Read podcast here on ATC, so yeah, you should get that wherever you get your podcasts at. Damn, that's a good podcast. Do it, do it, do it. All right, I got a story here. Story number two, sent in by Patrick Joseph at McMopat.

Here we go. Massachusetts official accused of stealing city funds buying how many, we'll get to it, pounds of steak tips and self-portrait. What? Former director of Quincy Department elder services is accused of stealing money from state. You can spend your money on any two things in this world. Steak tips and a self-portrait.

Oh, okay. I just now processed what you would even say. Steak tips and also he got a self-portrait. And a self-portrait, right? And what kind of steak tips? Well, leave it on the grill until it's pink on the inside. Then let it cook in its own juices. Can we get a carving station here?

All right, so very meat-focused. What if you just spend money on a carving station in your kitchen? You hire someone to be in the carving station, that'd be so good. Well read meats. Well there you go. And using it on things like a frame self portrait,

recording studio time, and several pounds of steak tips. US attorney from Massachusetts, Josh Levy, announced on Wednesday that Thomas Clasby, that's a great name. That's a great name. Clasby of. Clasby sounds like a great chicken that Thomas Clasby, it's a great name. It's a great name. Clasby of. Clasby sounds like a great chicken restaurant.

Clasby's? Yeah. It's like Zaxby's? Yeah, but people go there for the shrimp. You get the hush puppies at Clasby's? I get the popcorn shrimp at Clasby's. At Clasby's? It's a classy place.

Thomas Clasby of Fitchburg. These are all, like this all sounds made up, right? It does. This is in Massachusetts? Massachusetts. Massachusetts. Okay. But it also sounds like up. It does. This is in Massachusetts? Yes. Massachusetts. But it also sounds like it could be Tennessee. Oh yeah, anywhere, yeah.

Tommy, you know the Clasby's of, you know the, or from Kentucky, from Paducah, Kentucky? Fitchburg was indicted on charges of embezzlement, mail and wire fraud, and interstate transportation of stolen property. Clasby was arraigned in the Boston Federal Courtroom Wednesday afternoon. Prosecutors say that Clasby worked for the Quincy

Department of Elder Services from 99 to April. Shout out Quincy, great diner, the wheel. Right, hey now. Starting in 2019, Clasby is accused of using cities, purchase process to generate cash for himself, and pay for it. Like, you gotta watch everybody in every position that is controlling money that isn't their own.

You have to, Because this stuff happens. That are for old people. Yes, yes. Old people took their old people money. Yes, particularly. Scam action. Federal investigators said Clasby had the city pay how much for a music studio to produce recordings

of him singing. I wanna hear every one of those recordings. I wanna hear these so bad, but how much money did he use of city funds to book recording time? I don't know. This is just audio only? Audio only.

Yeah. It's cutting an LP, bro. I'm gonna go $10,000. $10,000, what do you think? $20,000, Trey. Five. Get your answers in, Townies. 89.50.

Wow. $8,900. $ies. 89.50. Wow. 8,900. Okay. Okay. Clauseby also allegedly used city funds to pay how much for how many pounds of bourbon steak tips? Give me the amount and then how many pounds. What is this, strip club in Portland?

Yeah, bourbon. TGI Fried. But by the way, I'm telling you, I read bourbon steak tips and my mouth started watering. Oh man, nothing wrong with it. I've been thinking about steak since you started this. God damn, I want bourbon steak tips and my mouth started water. I mean nothing wrong with it I've been thinking about steak since you started this god damn I want bourbon steak to him and when I'm gonna use take it by house I feel like if you're gonna buy a whole bunch of steak tips

You'd want to go like neutral though, so you can you know do any dry house go any direction We gave freedom a penchant for bourbon steak tips. How much do these pay and how many pounds from a TGI Fridays? I don't know. I mean it has to be excessive, right? Cuz he got caught. Yeah, what do you think? You wanna do pounds? I'm thinking I'm thinking he's trying to do some like let's do pounds for a van drive around selling Let's take tips business. Let's do Pounds first. 500 pounds 500 pounds. What do you think 200 pounds thousand pounds get your answers in townies? 153 pounds you say 200 yeah you're right

there how much did all that cost now let's do that 153 pounds and 153 pounds steak do I do what steak tips are going either so in this economy dollars a pound so you know bucks okay what do you think I mean I think you went premium you got that bourbon on yeah very good that that brissel. I heard a blanton's dude slather it up. I'm gonna go 2500 okay, you didn't get any kind of like, you know wholesale rate or anything like that 1200 200. Okay, he got you ready for this 2234 dollars worth yes right on it, buddy He spent how-

That's either gonna be really high-end people. This guy's going, got ripped off. Then he spent how much money on a Toyota Prius. This guy's laundry list of stuff. All over the place. I want recording time, I want a Toyota Prius, and I want steak tips. 150 pounds steak tips.

And a self-portrait. This sounds like a 1994 episode of Price is Right. Maybe Dan's right. I don't know about the, okay, he's gonna drive around reselling the steak tips. In the new car. He gets good gas mileage in a Prius so that cuts down on cost

and he gets his own soundtrack while he's driving around because he doesn't like any other bands as much as himself. How much did he spend on a Prius? Give me the dollar amount. Less than a million steak tips. What do you think?. How much did he spend on a Prius? Give me the dollar amount. Less than a million stake tips. What do you think? Less than on the stake tip for the Prius? No, I'm gonna say $10,000.

Less than. What do you think? I'll say 11. Right, what do you think? It doesn't say what year. Right. Like, I don't know. And then I'm gonna go $20,000.

Okay, so he spent $4,800 I'm gonna go $20,000. Okay, so he spent $4,800 on a turn 22 34 on the 153 pounds of steak tips 89 50. So if you're kind of playing along that's like 9 and 5 $17,000. Yeah, 18 9 and no 9 and 5 14 two, he's about $16,000, okay. And finally, he spent how much money on a self-portrait that was lacquered and mounted and framed? He really wanted that.

He wanted that. Are we talking like a painter? Yeah, painter, because I was like, commissioned like old school. This isn't a caricature, this is a commissioned, painted, lacquered, mounted frame. I've been telling my wife for years that I want one of those and she's like going for it I want you in a military jacket and you can't see where your hand

Yeah, something like that to put you know and most prominently display over the over the fireplace come on Yeah, I know, but she ain't having it but Man, I don't have a clue. What do you think that self-portrait? What do you think? $3,000. Dan. That's a good guess. So fun to guess this. I'm gonna go $1,500. $1,500?

$5,000. All right, get your answers in townies because he paid $1,658. Very good, Dan. Nice dice, Daniel. Clasby also accused him. That ain't bad. I know.

What's my wife on about? Yeah, come on. To live forever? Let her know. Well, Clasby also paid how much over to a friend's consulting company, but never used their services. Just how much money did he give to his friend?

Like a gym membership? Oh, consulting company. No, no, he's like, you consulted for me. Never used it. $50,000. What do you think? 50. 50, what do you think?

How much do you pay? 50, and he took back 25. Five grand. Five grand, what do you think? 8,000. Get your answers in, Towney. $38, Five grand, what do you think? Eight thousand. Get your answers in town, he's 38 thousand dollars. Oh, I knew it was a lot. Prosecutors said Clapsby's friend

cashed checks from the city, met him at various locations and handed off the money. You're right, Jay. But, why, if you're gonna bother with, if you think about it and are gonna bother with money laundering, why just buy the rest of this stuff with the money but he didn't launder it first right though these are all the things he's right why didn't like he go to people who were doing things for elder services I'm not telling you about a

lot of the mob gets credit because the mob knows how to law they gotta clean it this guy's an idiot. Thomas Clasby allegedly betrayal of trust is not just a theft from the city of Quincy, but an affront to seniors that he swore to serve and taxpayers who funded these programs. That's right. Director of Elder Services, Mr. Clasby was entrusted

with protecting vulnerable members of his community. Let this indictment serve as a reminder. Public officials who exploit their position for personal gain will be found out, I wanna hear these songs so badly. Don't you wanna hear them? The Clasby recording? Does it say anything about what kind of genre

we're working with here? I don't know. Probably like smooth jazz vocals. Just the tip. He could face up to how many years? Just the tips. How many years if convicted? How many years could he face?

Eight. Up to eight. Up to eight? Oh, I think it's way more. What do you think? 40 years. Just the tips, how many years, if convicted, how many years could he face? Eight. Eight. Up to eight? Oh, I think it's way more. What do you think? 40 years. Okay, what do you think? Is each one a different count of him?

I don't know, man. Cause we're all good face. They stack them up. He's eligible up to like 40 years. 25 years. One of you is exactly right. Oh really? Do you wanna stay where you are?

Yeah, I'm gonna stay. But I'm very curious. Get your answers in, Tonnies. He could face up to 40 years. Damn, God damn. While I remain deeply saddened personally by what transpired, the way this matter was handled by all involved, from our staff to outside auditors,

law enforcement showed unequivocally. They caught him. Unequivocally that all this kind of branch of the public's trust will never be exploited or tolerated, this type of stuff. Mayor. Well, this type of stuff. Mayor. Well, it has been exploited.

But they got him, so he said that in a statement. So that's it. Stake tips, personal portrait recording time. Be prious. You're gonna beat his ass. I mean, it is just amazing what he did. There you go, that is story number two. Jay, give us a little taste of what we're getting

in story number three. A fire, great. All right, all that coming up right after the break. Trey Crowder's with us. He's got a new special that is out. It's called? Trash Daddy. Trash Daddy.

It's on 800 Pound Gorilla on their YouTube page. Check it out right now. We'll be right back. ["Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb There's more to a people town. All right, it's no secret, I love my pets. Yeah, that's not even a secret. I love your pets. Ziggy and Ponyo, I love my pets so much and I wanna take care of them in every single way. That's why I'm excited that today's episode

is sponsored by the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. When you have a pet, you love taking care of them because in their own way, they take care of you. I know my dogs do this to me. I love the love they give. I was just saying to someone, I get so much more out of them than I give to them. But even if you're the best pet parent in the world,

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aspcapetinsurance.com. This is a a paid advertisement insurance is underwritten by either independence american insurance company or the united states fire insurance company and produced by p t z insurance agency limited the a s p c a is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. Townies life moves fast yes it does and sometimes you just need a way to relax, recharge or stay focused without making things more complicated than they already are. Please, you ever try meditating but then you get stressed about how bad you are at meditating?

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enhance your everyday. Hey guys welcome back I hope you watched Trey Crowder's special in the break if you haven't when this show is over I want you to go to over to YouTube watch it leave a nice comment like it share it with a friend this is how people like us we get to do more specials and stuff like that you definitely definitely wanna see his stuff. And if this is your introduction to him, watch this and then take a deep dive into all of his stuff including his Well Read podcast. So please do.

For us, middle of March right now, so we have, we're gonna be this weekend as this drops, we'll be in Minneapolis at the Acme Comedy Company, one of our favorites. Hopefully we're selling a bunch of tickets, we love that place. On Sunday we're doing the LA Folk Festival at the Bellwether, which I'm very excited about,

on the 23rd. And then in a couple weeks we're in Denver at the Comedy Works South, third, fourth, and fifth. Fourth, yeah, fourth, fifth, and fifth. Third, fourth, and fifth, that's right. And then we'll be at Moontower, supersquadrars.com for all of those dates, plus Taggit's happening every month.

We love that at the Comedy Store and just have enjoyed doing that so much. Supersquadrars.com, check that out. And any other stuff we have coming up, we'll let you know, check. All right, here we go. This is sent in by Sam Householder, at Sam Householder.

Send some good ones. And look, we're not making light of fires. No we're not. People have had fires. Yes. But this also brings out the anger in me in anyone who would want to start a fire. Yes, great.

Let's get into it. Springfield, Missouri, our home state, Missouri. A Missouri judge sentenced a woman to, and we won't tell you how many years, you can guess later. We'll guess. Prison for using Takis tortilla chips to set fire to a Springfield home with three people inside of it.

I thought set fire to your mouth. Yeah, that's what I knew they were hot, but not that. I know, right? Those are Takis. I can't eat a Takis. Yeah, that's what I knew they were hot, but not that. I know, right? Those are on fire. I can't eat a takis. How would you use takis to start a fire? You lay them down and light them. Like kindling or whatever.

Yeah, they're like little lollies. They're flammable. They are. By that reasoning. Just use something else. Anything, yeah. Could you rub the takis? What if you rub them together and they start a fire?

Yeah. Patricia Williams. Isn't that somebody? Patricia Williams. Pleaded. She's like Anita Baker's cousin. Right, it's like Vanessa Williams' sister. Pleaded guilty. Who's Williams?

Vanessa Williams. First degree arson for sparking the house fire in the 2300 block of North Weller. Why did she do it to these people? What's the motivation? According to investigators, witnesses said the fire had been intentionally set And they identified Williams as a suspect. Yep, they arrested Williams at the scene the cooperation between agencies You got one shot in with a bat one shot with her and hit her at the face of the bat

All right, so the fire marshal Travis Morrissey. I To his name is Morrissey I, I love him so much. All right, the SPD officer's immediate response allowed them to make the suspect, Dave Cuss, suspect Dave Cuss. I was working in a house and then you burned it down with a talkie of my kind. And heaven knows I'm miserable now.

That's nice. Ha ha! They got her. Investigator said, uh, Williamson Busted, bitch. Admitted to using the spicy snack to start the fire. Is Takis gonna like capitalize this and try to like use it for their marketing?

I mean, it feels like a pretty good idea. A whole thing is on fire. Yeah, right. But you said wire. Maybe the idea is like, that's just like a household food item. Right. Maybe it flies under the rain.

What can I like this? It's not a typical arson right right she said she knew it would combust due to its high grease content Oh my god, is that right doing grease surveillance footage shows William is buying How many dollars worth of gasoline and how many dollars with the tackies? How many dollars wait wait she's gas Or gas on a talk that more important. Yeah, that is bigger The talk is really really flammable. What did you use to ignite very? Shitload of gas how much gas so I saw it I saw a tick tock of my guys a guy with a flatbed truck who was

Spraying and he had like a skirt of, on the back of that, and he was just spraying gas into the back of the, into the back of the, the open back of the truck, like it's just sloshing around. And people came up to him, they were doing this, like, what are you doing, man? And he's just not answering, he's like, you can't do that. That's like against the law.

If a match comes in or some spark comes in, like we're all blown up right here. You can't do that. And he's like, whatever. And just keeps doing it. And then he drives away and it's like sloshing around. I'm like, come on. So is that what she did? Kind of $40 gallons, 40 gallons to 10, 10, 10 gallons, $1 in dollars. Where's the $120? So it's Springfield, ten burn on ten gallons dollars Where's the $20 so it's Springfield, Missouri, and I'm thinking three gallons three bucks a gallon ish Yeah, about ten bucks ten bucks thirty bucks. Oh wait. They're in, Missouri. Yeah, okay $60 of gas two dollars were forget that's it give me two dollars worth They gave me two dollars worth for super me two dollars worth for a soup or a lemon. I don't know where's the cord at. All right. William poured the gasoline. Williams

poured the gasoline which was stored in a soda bottle. There you go. Is there anything more Missouri than that? Yeah. Let me put it in the soda bottle. Soda bottle. Uh, August goes further than I realized. I don't know if you said the reasoning. I'm sorry, did you call them tackies? Yeah. I don't know if you said the reasoning, but these tackies did. They have something to do with the fire. Like. They want it too badly. But like I'm Takis? Yeah. I don't know if you said the reasoning, but these Takis, Takis did? It have something to do with the fire. They want it too badly. But like I'm saying, it's a breakup and she's mad.

I guess. And he always chose Takis over her. So this is his mistress, right? He's ruining her house. She said she'd get divorced and they'd run off. My nephews love Takis. Oh my god, my kids love it. I'm like, what is right?

I don't think I've ever even had one. You just wanna like put Razor Blade. I'm sure. Trader Joe's makes their version of a Takis. Are you a, yeah Trader Joe's, their hot Takis are actually pretty good. Are you like a flaming hot Cheetos fan? Sure.

I mean again, you know, yeah but not, I mean I prefer the OG. Trey Crowder is driving to a gap in your driving bag of your drivers driving to a gig You stop at a gas station. What do you get snack? What is your snack? Probably Doritos or sometimes Cheetos regular cheese You're rich Doritos. Yeah, I always thought like, you know munchies, which is those two and harvest cheddar sun chips Yes, in my opinion they ruined with Regular pretzels for no good reason, but I thought that to me is like the holy triumvirate of what's your drink? What's your drink? Like a Gatorade zero

Chemicaly lime lemon like the the regular ones back out on what do you what color is that? The first original type of Gatorade what color is it? It's like a yellowish yellow It's like ecto cooler. Yeah yellow. You said yellow green. So you grabbed with both. Yeah, you're right Yeah, cuz I was I said get tennis ball and then my wife is always like that's yellow That's not green and I guess there are I think now there is a way there is a green hard hard green I want the Gatorade or is green not I want to see I can't see red Gatorade I like give me in a metal in a glass Remember the glass

Yeah, and that's whatever that I'll take my orange red order like this red orange yellow. Yeah Yeah, here we go Young kids like blue she poured gas on the floor which was stored in a soda bottle onto the home's floor and a pile of laundry According to insolvent the launder launder gasoline. We're so far from talking on the floor which was stored in a soda bottle onto the home's floor and a pile of laundry, according to a ghost. So maybe the laundry, laundry gasoline, we're so far from Takis being what did this fire. Takis could not be part of it at all. She then set fire to the tortilla chips

and used them to ignite the blaze. No, you light one and throw it. Morrissey. Every day. Like instead of a match, it's a Takis. Yeah, you light a Takis and throw it. Light a Takis and toss. Dramatically talk about it.

You light a Takis and make a wish. And then walk away. You don't look back slowly make a wish slow motion Morris said the case demonstrates how interagency cooperation leads to optimal outcomes Oh, we love that. Don't give me that. The responding officers initiative and SPD included support throughout the investigation We're instrumental in achieving the outcome. I'm sorry. I can't hear you with all the back slapping That's yeah three people inside the back slapping that's going on. Yeah, three people inside the house escaped without injury. Thank God, that's good. The relationship between Williams

and the victims remains unclear. Oh, it's not mistress. Mistress. I call it fractured. Mistress. I'm gonna show you her picture and then we can guess her age. She's married to RFK. Oh wow.

Look at her, she looks like. Cheryl Hines. She does kinda look like, look at her. She looks like she is a little remorseful about it. She looks like she had a one episode arc on Sons of Anarchy. Yeah, she looks like if daughters of anarchy. She looks like she'd be like a werewolf in true blood.

How old is Patricia Williams? Yeah, that's a good call. Let's get out of here on this. How old is Patricia Williams? Based on that pick. Yep. 37 but looks 47. I was gonna say a tough 41 is what I was gonna say.

I got a tough 37. A hardened 37. I'm gonna go 57. 57 years old, Dan, in which case she looks great. Watch Trey special, it is called. Trash Daddy. Trash Daddy. Watch Daniel's stuff, go support him,

see him live, come see us live. This is a treat. Listen to the Well Read podcast. If you like this show, you're gonna love that show. Phenomenal dude. It's such a good show. Thank you for being a great guest. Thank you, you're the best.

Thanks for having me. As always. Patricia Williams is 44 years old. Hey! 44! All right, love you guys. Thank you for supporting us the ways that you do. And oh snap, we got the word, though. 44! Alright, love you guys. Thank you for supporting us the ways that you do.

And oh snap, we're getting back to work.