Dumb People Town - Vince Caldera - Snake Is A Gateway

Episode Date: October 21, 2025

Comedian Vince Caldera (Up & Coming) stops by as Jason describes how a man brought an emotional support alligator to a Pennsylvania Walmart, Randy explains why a Melbourne couple was "blessing sites" but were arrested for vandalism, and Daniel warns against trying to jump over a sink hole on a motorcycle, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsor: Monarch! Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code DPT at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year.

On today's episode, we've got an emotional support alligator. We've got people putting vegetable oil on monuments. And we've got the dumbest, dumb, evil, Knievel you could ever meet. Yes. Vince Caldera's got a new stand-up special. He's our guest. It's all on Dumb People Town. Stick around.

Make us down. Come here down. It's Dumb People Town. Hey, Townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population. Caldera. Vince, welcome to town. Dude, welcome to town.

Thanks for everyone to town. It's all going to be dumb. I mean, I'm sure as you've traversed this life, you've encountered plenty of dumb in your worlds. Yes. Yeah. I mean, you can't live in this world and not experience it. Can't live in this damn city and not see a lot of dumb stuff. So where are you born and raised?

Northeast L.A., so Glassville Park. Glassville is. I love it. So there's probably dumb as you were growing up and now new hipster dumb on top of the dumb. It's changed. It's evolved into something completely different. It's a new brand of dumb. Yeah, yeah.

Or you're just like, if a second pinball shop opens up in your neighborhood, you're like, I'm leaving. Because it's Maribu, the Palisades, Altadena, Glassville Park, wherever you are, if you're born and raised there, there's been five or six times in your life. You're like, oh, I guess our neighborhood's doing this now. Like if you move to the Palisades or Malibu in the late 60, 70s, you were just living in the country. It wasn't rich people. And so you've watched me like, oh, I guess everybody's rich now. Like, you've just watched it become so many things. And seeing all the hobbies that people have, too, now.

Like, you're saying pinball, I had never played pinball before. They have, like, a comic bookstore out there. I joined a pinball league for, like, once he's. Yeah, dude. Derek Lipkin, our friend who listens to this show is, like, a pinball enthusiast. I have a pinball machine. Yeah, then I absolutely love. My favorite game, though, is Medieval Madness.

That one's really good. It's my favorite. They're hard to find. And there's also one, like, the Black Knight, which is sort of like a medieval so great tip waltz which is a really cool bar in eagle rock on eagle rock boulevard has great pinball machines and they cycle new ones through they had one that was like the one we had in our childhood very we had one growing up in our house the the family guy one is one of the most fun ones and they just did you know they mapped that exactly for the shrek the shrek game is the family guy game just completely different so they did that with like these two flash gordon and the other one or flash all right here we go let's send it by sean anderson uh at shon 70, S-H-A-W-N-E-70. Emotional Support Alligator is no longer welcome in Pennsylvania, Walmart. Yeah, like, no shit.

Like, allowing people to tell you what is their emotional support animal is the problem. Do you, should a dangerous animal, animal, whatever I said? Animal Lector. How much emotional support is an animal that, given the opportunity, would happily eat you? I don't know. I've seen, like, TikToks of, like, if they're doing their job, they're sort of like, man, you should let it go. Go ahead, Vince. What were you going to say?

I do like the liberty that people take with, like, this is going to be my thing. I'm going to have this as my emotional support animal. Right. Because I think, like, I would just assume a dog or a cat. Right. But people just take it to a, no. Parrot. Bunny rabbit, maybe, but an alligator.

I'm sorry. Alligator. This is my dumb algorithm. And when I watched it, I watched just a TikTok yesterday of a bunny rabbit jumping in a woman's lap. And I'm assuming it looked like she worked at some place where bunny rabbit. It didn't look like it was her thing. And it jumped up in her lap and then rolled over and she just pet it.

I was like, I want that. I want that buddy. Like, how come I can have that. I saw a Happy Barra that I wanted. I mean, I would believe a Capi Barra as a fine. There's a video of a guy swimming towards an alligator. Okay. And I'm like, do not.

Don't do it. And he goes and grabs the alligator and he picks up the alligator and the alligator hugs him. So he clearly knows this alligator. The alligator knows him and hugs him. Well, I love that. I know. Maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe we're wrong about alligators. A Western Pennsylvania man and his emotional support alligator took a shopping cart spin around the local Walmart where he claims they've never had a problem. Was the alligator in the shopping? That's got to be right. No, the guy was. The alligator's a lot of support. If that's what's going on, I take it all about. He's pushing me around. I normally can't finish it unless he puts me in there.

I mean, how many times does he's walking by Walmart just looking at people who were looking at? Who rescued who, huh? Who rescued who? He's doing this because he wants conversation. Yeah. Like, he wants attention. Yes, this is the guy with the steak.

Oh, what? This? Oh, you want to talk about that? Ask me about my alligator is to sign over his head. And his shirt. I wonder if he tries to take away, like, concerned by putting like a leash on it. You're like, well, he's on a leash. Yes, he's fine.

He's fine. He likes it. It's like the old Paul F. Duncan's made. He's like walking around a corner. What was that point? Paul's bit and a dog like where he's fine right in his face he's fine he's not fine he doesn't look fine he almost bit my

I always like when people blame you too they're like oh they can tell you're nervous I'm like that shouldn't be my me first of all I should be nervous per what's happening I'm shopping in a Walmart getting sweatpants I don't need an alligator up my ass all right here you go so this recent trip earned them orders to stay away the retail giant confirmed Thursday Wesley Silva and we're not going to tell you his age we'll guess later and his Wesley Silva

I want by the way Wesley Last night I was right to video Wesley Snipes My wife was working late And I was waiting for her to just I was gonna like Either help pick her up from the office

And bring her back or whatever You unrolling the new routines of your life Because his daughters are now both off at college He's an empty nest And I used to know Just we've been friends for 14 years I would I've learned I learned his whole life

I've known one of his daughters Since she was like four So it was like He walked to school we walk the dogs up we're going to get tomato pie pizza tonight and now i'm like rudderless open for i watched all he's waiting for amy to come along i watched all of beverly hills cop two last no one's ever done that not even anymore i'm like i what what am i doing like who is i'm like what is judge ryanholt's character do you do have a lot of time to feel they did give judge

ryanhold too much to do in no i just they're like what is his character like he puts on the trench code and I'm like, what is going on? Man, he's reading instructions. I need to come over. I need to come over and hang with you. And he needs it. Dan, I, that's what I. I literally can't do it.

I'm going to call you to come over and you better be there. Yeah. You better be there. Vince, you're close to me. I'm in Silver Lake. I might call your ass. Yeah, please. It's like the time we're like figuring out hobbies that you're going to end up getting

into. So I have a bunch of hobbies and so maybe we need to join the pinball league? Do I need to join the pinball league? Am I coming? You got to get me into the pinball league. My friend is in that at that pinball place at Leszell Park. Wade, Wade Harputtlian. That's a good. He's a great

dude. He's a great dude. Right. Anyway, go ahead. Randy's calligraphy business. I'm not going to tell you how long and how heavy this alligator is, but it will have an effect. Do you guys want to guess how big it is? Let's do that right now. So we have an idea. How long and how heavy? You're a guess. Do a pound and a length. Length, I'll say, um... It is head to tail. Head to the end of the tail.

Six foot ten? So almost. Ten. And how much does it weigh? Three fifty six. Whoa, dude. First of all, fantastic guesses. Like, the specificity is really, I think it's a four-foot, 79-pound. Okay. Oh, okay.

I'm going to go five-foot alligator, clocking in at a nice 150. Okay. One of you got the length, right? Okay. None of you got the pounds right. Okay. He is five feet long. There you go.

Great guess. Take it. 32 pounds. That's it. It's kind of light. I mean, he can carry it around with him. It's his emotional support. That's right.

Five. There it is. There it is. Look at how cut he is. It's in a sweater. That is. You put a sweater. I'm like,

you would have told me I'm going to show you this photo and it's going to be cooler than you think. I never would have believed you. What if I look at this guy? Look at how cute he is. And the alligator's not bad either. I know. It's like Darius Rucker's uncle.

This proves that humans can create. AI themselves. This is an AI photo that is not AI. Did he buy that sweater from, it's like a dog sweater that he put on a I want a guy. I took it to Walmart to try on that

sweater. Okay. Right? I need to get my alligator a sweater. I hate to be mean to Wesley but alligators are cold-blooded animals. They do not eat sweaters. But imagine this AI prompt. I want to look at who do you in the blowfish is

Darius Rucker's brother who borrowed his shirt and has an alligator that loves the movie Spies Like us What is his hat say? I can't make out what is that It's like I want to say

It's like Lillian and Mast Yeah that's a pretty good That's a pretty good And also his expression is like And then I said Right Also like the way he's gesturing With the alligator in his arm

And the elevator looks like it's smiling It does look like it's smiling Doesn't he look like he gives good handshakes too. Can I just tell you, I thought you were going to say hand jobs, Dan, and I was like, wait a second. Probably both. Probably both. He moisturizes, right? If he wants. Are we talking about the gator?

Oh, sorry. That is the cutest gator. Wait, what was the weight? Oh, we won 32 pounds. That's not much. The reptile named Jin Sioshi. Okay. Made the local news after a trip to Walmart in West Brownsville where he pushed the alligator around in a shopping cart.

No big deal. As she was wearing a dress. She was wearing a dress Before concerns about the recent visits were raised, Silva insisted that he and Giannioshi experienced nothing but praise. We've been going to that Walmart for about three and a half years,

and normally the reaction is, that's pretty cool, or that is awesome that you have a pet alligator, man. It's a weird quote. Like, these are just general quotes. It's the full, full quote. He's like, crazy weather we're having today, man. Oh, snap, an alligator? Man.

Man. A Walmart spokesperson, though, was far less effusive and said Geneseyoshi and any other alligators aren't welcome inside the stores. The safety are our customers and associates is our highest priority. Such a corporate show. I mean, it's a lot. He's in a sweater. Come on.

We welcome service animals in our stores. Yeah. Somebody at a Walmart gets bit by an alligator. Is there any way Walmart wins that case? No. No. No. Because it's their job to not let it in.

No. We welcome service animals in our stores, but it is unacceptable, unacceptable to expose members of the public to potential danger. Silva said he got the alligator from a neighbor who couldn't care for it anymore and gave it to him. Now, Jin Sayoshi spends much of his days in a pool outside and nights in a bathtub of water. It just gives you so much more to, like, root for this person bringing the alligator into the store.

Exactly. Right. I'm, like, totally on the alligator on the guy's side. Right. Before Jin Nessiyoshi arrived. Now, what the guy should do, and let's all just say this right now, is as the alligator gets bigger, you then... release it in the wild or you give it to the zoo or somewhere like that has like

give it the best taste scenario for how it's going to continue to live before your house and your neighborhood is not the well or Walmart now here's where you lose a little respect for this guy before jinsayoshi arrives sylva already had a zoo's worth of reptiles and no animal family no i'm out including six snakes a leopard gecko a commoto dragon an oscillated skink um oscillated sounds like i thought that was a fan right yeah yeah oscillated just I This guy We're performing at Skink Fest this year

This guy is getting too much support Right exactly How much emotional support does he need Vince? He's gone through a lot I know At this point he is too much A second alligator He also has a dog

Okay Silva Not for long Not for long Not with the oscillating skate Not if the Camano Dragon has anything to save Just a reminder guys This is not Florida

This is Pennsylvania Pennsylvania I keep thinking about Are you talking about the tropical Haven that is Harrisburg. Aren't the alligators indigenous to Allentown? To Pittsburgh?

If I may drop a little science on you, Jason. They are cold-blooded animals. That means they cannot generate their own heat. So he would need a sweater. They would be. That's why they lay in the sun all day. Jason? They go. Jay. I did not know there was anything wrong with what you said either. I know. You have been served. Oh, wow. You know so is a trivia. I stand corrected.

Silva, pastor at a Baptist Church. and a brethren church stop just short of calling his worship of reptiles a holy act in the bible god talks about us having dominion over animals and i developed an affinity for these reptiles don't bring the bible into this this is where we are all slowly leaving the party right he's like it's actually a god thing yeah it's a god thing and i shall smite the nope no get him out of here get him out of the park said sylva the father of five children he doesn't pay attention to i added that no shit i find them i find them very soothing the reptile collection not the children

started three years ago when a daughter wanted a snake a daughter a daughter which one one of them one of them a daughter snakes of the gateway snake yeah snakes is the yeah snakes is the weed yeah snakes is the weed and then you get all right

I held it one night and I just kind of started really bonding with it and holding it he said you already talked about it you talk about your kids no no no never helped this kid I've never bonded with my children but this snake I love and finally she gave me an ultimatum dad really you need to get your own snake

this is also like good like intervention type of stuff where you just like go and you know like we've had too much too many animals yes yeah let's move for you've seen Wesley Silva maybe we can bring him back up on the screen how many heat lamps is one man need I think how old is really hot in his house how old is how old is Wesley Silva the man who has a gecko a leopard gecko you know Komodo dragon six snakes five kids 57 I'm gonna go 49 That's too young. Five kids.

51, 51. 57. 43. 43 years old. Aaron, you want to throw a guess out into the ether? You've looked at this guy. 64. 64 years old.

Get your answer in. That's the end of story one. I think Randy has story two, if I'm not mistaken. All right, Randy, you're story two. I'm not going to hurt this. This man, Wesley Silva. Yes. Who really had no problem going into Walmart for three and a half years until someone got in his face.

60 years old. Wow. You guys are all hovering around it. We're all around it. That's story number one. Yeah, go ahead. I was just really quickly, just wondering how you transport that in your car. Like, are you putting them in the back seat?

Seat belt. Can you mix them together? Oh, yeah. All of them? All of them? All of them? I guess you just put them on the floor of the back seat or if you have, like, a truck. I'm picturing minivan all the seats taking out except the front, too.

Yeah. And you just let them roam. No, you let them roam free. You let them roam free. Probably right. Well, you don't want to, like, roll them over when you take a turn. You know what I love? The four of us will never find out. We'll never know.

We are never going to go down this road. That's a fact that we'll never figure out. That is story number one down the books when we come back. We will let you know what we have going on and find out about Vince's new special and where you can catch that out and check that out. All of that is happening on Dumb People Town with Vince Caldera. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound.

Come here down is Dump People Town. Guys, we want to talk to you about your finances. I don't know about you, but I had had my stuff all over the place on this website. You multi-app guy? Multi-app, this website, this way. And you're like, what do I have? Yeah, like, I just need to see it all in one place, and I just need to see what I have for the future as I start to think about my future.

Got kids in college. I want to sort of plan for our future retirement, all that stuff. That is why I'm so excited about this new sponsor of ours, Monarch. They are so good. They put it all in one area. Jay, let them know. All right. Feel organized and confident in your finances with Monarch, an all-in-one personal finance tool

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Grab it. Monarch.com slash D with the code, DPT. Boom. Stick around, make a sound, come you down. It's dumb people town. Hey, gang, welcome back to the show. before we get to your new special, Jay, let's tell them where we have going on.

So we will be at the flyover fest in St. Louis, Missouri, the weekend of November 13th, 15th, 16th. The 16th is a Sunday, and we're doing a live dumb people town with the great Rory Scoville. It's going to be a killer show at the pageant theater. If you are a fan of ours around the St. Louis area, come on up for this festival.

It's going to be a great festival overall. Best Tellings at this festival. Dan's going to be doing standard. We'll do it tag it at this. Calcutan. So many good comics. Jeremiah Watkins. Yeah, it's killer. Killer Fest closes out with us on Sunday night doing live Dumb People Town at the pageant. It's going to be awesome.

Come see that. And then on the 12, 12, which is December 12th, we're going to be in Cincinnati. And the next night, we're working on a gig for that. And then in January 9th through the 11th, we're going to be in San Diego. La Jolla actually at the La Jolla Comedy Star, one of the best clubs in the country. We're going to be writing on the Kevin Hart and Keenan Thompson sports show. We might actually even appear on that. And that starts the middle of November. So it's a weekly show.

On Amazon Prime. Got to love it. Vince, let's talk about the special. Tell us where did you shoot it. What's the title? Are you happy with it? Yeah, yeah. All right.

So I shot this special at the Bob Baker Marionette Theater in Highland Park. No way. Yeah. Dude, I love that. What's the call? It's called Up and Coming. That's the name of the special. Great.

It's dropping on October 9. So I'm guessing this will have dropped after that. So it's out there. It's a way to do it. Where can people access it? Yeah. You can watch it on Veeps. Oh, great.

Nice. Yes. Did you work with Bart Coleman? Yeah. Yeah, he's the best. One of our favorite people in the world. That's so great. And so what, obviously, you touch on a lot of stuff and I've seen some of the stand-up,

but let people know a little some of the areas that you discuss in your comedy in case they're not familiar with you. Yeah. So, I mean, like, one of the things I talk a lot about is my parents. That's like a big focus on my stand-up. But my parents, they used to be in a gang. and I the same gang or rival gang because that would be the best story ever

if they were in a rival game like Shakespearean Westside story yeah so they were both in the same gang and yeah they did a lot of interesting things I just kind of like talk about

what it's been like living in that sort of world and having like family that's been incarcerated and all that sort of stuff and what was the name of the gang I don't think I like that don't say it and what do they think about you being a stand of comedian

Do they dig it? Yeah, at first, like, they were like, yo, you're not funny, you know? Classic gang attitude towards it. But I feel like I really like turned them around on it. Like, I've been able to get them to come to shows. They were at the recording. And they're so supportive.

Yeah. I mean, it's really nice to see your parents there. And then since then, my mom has been so nice about, like, you know, she'll be the kind of mom that's like sharing YouTube links with friends to my stuff. That's awesome. I love that. You turn them around with comedy. Yeah.

So fun. Do you have any other siblings or no? Yeah, I'm the oldest of four. Yeah, right on. What do they think about it? Do they? They're in it. It's like a documentary special, so I kind of talk about all the folks in my family within it.

And, yeah, they're on camera, and I get to just kind of, like, share them with the world, too. Holy crap. I love it. So it lives on Veeps for how long. How is it on Veeps? I believe it's, like, two months. Two months of YouTube. And then it hits YouTube.

Up and Coming. But watch it on Veeps because I'm just going to say this is a great way to support up and coming comics. Speaking of Up and Coming, this is how we do it. If people view it, then they get more opportunities to do more things. And the bit I saw online that I loved, and I told to this when you walked in, was how your parents didn't speak English or they spoke. My grandparents, they only grandparents. That's it, grandparents. And they, so watching movies with them, you got their perspective of what the movies were about, even though that wasn't what the movies were about.

So the exorcist was, was basically like a cautionary tale of like what happens when you don't listen to your parents. Sort of truth. Yeah, right? If you don't go to church, is what can happen. Is that wrong? A lot of wanting to listen to your father. It's, that is so.

You got to bring a priest in. If your bad attitude, test your father's faith all the time. But I was, what I was saying, what I loved about is I'm like, okay, that's a really specific to you

and your grandparents, but like, I'm like, relatable. We have a whole bit in our act to how our kids between zero and five, you just lie to their faces. That's what parents do

to get through some stuff. They're like, ooh, I can use this as a parenting tool. Yeah, the exorcist is about a kid He doesn't listen to the bearer. Because a kid who didn't clean up his room. That's right.

Who eats after midnight. Who eats after midnight? All right. Up and coming. I love it. Yeah, you're going to throw it up and your head's going to spin. You want that? You want a priest coming over?

So here we go. Should we jump in the story number two? Send him by Carly McDermid at Shibie Carlin. At She be Carlin. Wonderful person who sends in stories. You can send him in go to X and you just type at Sklar Brothers at Daniel Van Kirk. Hashtag Dompeopetown and lets us know who sent it and when. We can go and find out a timeline.

So this is good. You ready for this? Let's do it. Melbourne couple were, quote, blessing sites during alleged vandalism spree court hears. Oh, we weren't vandalizing. We were just blessing. This is people feeling like they're imbued with the Holy Spirit that they can do whatever they want. Yeah.

Like, own a whole bunch of reptiles. Sure. We were tagging the sites. A Melbourne couple thought they were, quote, blessing items when they allegedly damaged thousands of dollars worth of cultural. and historic sites in the Bendigo area court was hurt. I just peed on it. Bendigo magistrate's courts was told a Seabrook couple, and I'm not going to get this right.

Gerhardis and Krishna Snihman. Quote, that sounds good. That's close. Sprinkled vegetable oil over multiple cultural landmarks during a visit to the regional city in May of 2024. I am okay with Holy Water, although you should not put water on, you can do that on statues. stuff that exist out in the world that we can stand on

and be close to. But if it is an art piece, you are not allowed to touch it. Like, you just aren't. I think you throw an oil in it? Vegetable oil? Vegetable oil. You couldn't even You couldn't even get olive oil. Are you going to cook it? You just forget the water. You're like, I got to use what I have on it. What do we have? What do we have here?

We got vegetable. I got Crisco. The couple's children were with them all the time. Way to teach them the lesson. The court heard Mr. Snyman told the police We had an appliance store in St. Louis called the Slime and Brothers. This reminds me of that. What was their thing? Slime and Brothers.

I can't remember. No, it wasn't because you like nice things. No. That was, all right. So that was Brooke Dubman. Brooke Dubman was a guy in St. Louis who had a furniture store called, what was it called? It was called Carol House furniture. Because you like nice things.

They were always having like, we got a load of chairs that were destroyed. Last Friday, there was a storm that ripped to our shoes. Showroom. All of those. All the damage goods. And our joke was, of course. Last week. On September 11th, the Talban attacked our freedom.

And that's why we're declaring a war on high prices. All right. So cheap oil off the shelves is what Mr. Snihman said. He believed it would either wash away in the rain or be cleaned off. Then why do it? Right. Like, you aren't allowed. Stay away from that stuff.

There, it's up on the thing. You aren't allowed to put oil on that stuff. About a dozen statues located at the Great Sto— Like, who asked you to do that? Do you what I'm saying? Okay. They were blessing it. Allegedly damaged.

Prosecutors, however, alleged the oil damage significant artifacts, including items at the Golden Dragon Museum, the Great Stupa, and a Jewish monument, of course. These included alleged damage to a century-old processional dragon, Luong. These kids did not want to be there. Wait, I'll tell you something. I saw a bottle of olive oil broke. that I had bought and I set it down on my driveway or you know the bag that it was in to just take the things out and wash them up there's a spot on my driveway that'll never come out that's really such

oil olive oil to a centrally old processional dragon as well as the newer sun long plus multiple memorials gold rush statues tombstones and plaques they're pouring all over everything these kids are bored and annoyed senior constable taren cooper told the uh court that the pair appeared to avoid being seen by others and that CCTV showed them sprinkling the oil on the monuments. Senior Constable Cooper told the court that when police arrested the couple at their home, they discovered that parts of the residents were covered in bits of Bible passages. The Snymans are facing how many charges including criminal damage? But it's what's maybe a charge for each thing.

We'll see. How many kids are they bringing to the museum? Exactly. Because I just a picture just the most bored. Oh, yeah. I don't want to deface. We gotta bless these things. I don't want to deface them.

We got to say something. Those kids go back to school. They should just like, what did you do over this weekend? My parents helped my parents vandalize a bunch of. That's right. It's like, okay, we don't like lies. What did you guys really do? We destroyed artifacts.

Yeah. All right. Anyway, so how many charges do you think they're facing? 23. 23? Running around like Joker and Batman in that museum. What do you think? Oh, man.

I'm going to say 40. 40? What do you think? I'll go seven. 17. One of you is one year off. You go up or down? You said 23. You want to go 24 or 22? I go up. 24? 18. 41. Get your answers in townies. They are facing 39 charges. Jay, you went the wrong way, including criminal damage. Magistrate Jared Williams. Good. I hope they get the full amount. Going to pray for them. That's right. Let's pray for them. Thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers. Describe the matter as a rather unusual case. Earlier the year, the Kurt heard that the total cost of damages exceeded.

how much it's a lot of money and it's irreparable right so how much damage did it do you can't go back in time and have five million dollars five million yeah because like now you told me about the driveway it's never coming on air and anybody who watches on youtube will see the pictures of those statues those stains are going to be there forever forever there's no way to get it out I mean there will be people who will look at it and think that it was stained that way because of well like over time well you can't power wash it with water because at the risk of damage it's right so you You can't, so you can maybe delicately wash it with, like, some high-powered chemicals. But again, that could strip it away.

This is a case for Billy Mays. That's right. It's going to smell like orange peel. All right. So how? We're going to fix it. Look at this boom. Now, you think these statues are ruined.

Wrong. And if you call right now. You get a second. Why does it sound like his microphone's muffled? No, let him keep going. Oh, I'm telling you right now. If you act fast. He died, right?

Yeah, he did. Okay, RIP, Billy Mason. All right. How much? He said 5 million. How much damage you think it is? I'm going to, man, the artifact really does. It does.

I'm going to go, this is probably low, but just so we run the spectra. I'm going to go a quarter of a million dollars, $250,000. What do you think? I'm feeling the same, but I'm going to go with $800,000. Get your answers in townies because the estimated cost of damages exceeded $300,000. Hey, you were right. I'll take it. But some of the artifacts have been repaired.

and defense lawyer Marco Habib disputed the costs Marco Habibu disputed the costs cited by Victoria Police Mr. Habib told the court that the estimates were based on quotes

that included travel and other costs So now Somebody's getting a vacation on us? No, no, no. They're like, well, it costs this much to transport them. We have to eat dinner. We have to eat dinner.

Everybody who transported has to eat take a lunch break. All right, so he told the police that police emailed him on Friday August 29th and stated they needed more time to review the cost but never heard back from them. The committal mention

heard that the cost of the alleged damage was of how many items did they damage, do you think? I like my number from before. 17. 17. How many items? 30. I guess 15. 21 items. The Golden Dragon Museum.

Was it? Clients are entitled to know how that figure is arrived at. Magistrate Williams said the accused are at a real disadvantage here and the case was adjourned until October 13th I guess we'll have to find out this is such an interesting thing to put to like to put in an email in the newsletter

for whoever is like being a regular museum guys a lot of stuff got damaged because someone sprinkled vegetable oil come by and keep checking on it to see how we're doing it there's a docent that got fired who could have stopped it yes but like look at these people can we throw out the picture of the two of them they look like the worst

I hate them. I hate them. Like, she is someone who yells at every manager, and he is a guy who's just, like, supports her in everything that, like, she's been wrong. I mean, you know, we all have things we like to wear on stage and all that or whatever. But a lot of times people's color palette is their attitude. I just, and I, don't you get that vibe for them? I don't like her best.

I don't like him telling me about his e-bike. Shut up. His backpack looks like he has some oil in it. Yes, it does. Look, he's bringing oil to the trial. Yeah, you can't bring oil to the trial. You don't bring vegetable oil to a trial. The lawyer's documents are just covered in oil.

Soaked. They're soaked in oil ripping. You're out, what did I? Look at this. Anyway, so that is it. That is story number two. I don't have any other guesses. That was good.

That was very dumb and ridiculous. So dumb. And annoying. Dan's going to take us home. Dan, can you tease us a little bit with what we have in story three? Sometimes the universe provides for people to prove how dumb they are. I cannot wait. Well, Vince Calder is with us.

He's got a new special. that is out when this thing drops it's probably already out on beeps called Up and Coming you definitely want to check that out we'll be back with one last story and what Dan's got going on on Dumb People Town

Stick around Make a sound Come you down It's Dump People Town Welcome back to the show Dan before we jump into this I want to let people know Well first I want to tell people

If you have never signed up Or you haven't signed up For this Patreon that the Sclar brothers And I do is five bucks a month It's so fun It's three of us hanging out I'm gonna be honest with you A lot of times it's stories

that one of us stumbled across, sometimes it's a TikTok. My favorite episodes are when we get to catch up with each other or something crazy happens to one of us in our lives. And we're like, you know what? This is all it's going to be. It's like our own personal Reddit. I'm like, am I the asshole? So there's that.

It's literally almost like the show before the show because a lot of times before our guests get here, whatever, we do the same thing. But the Patreon is for people that want to hang out with us. Sometimes you'll see the beginnings of stand-up bits. 100%. Because Dan, no one can weave a story into a stand-up bit quite like, Dan, we try stuff.

Whatever first Patreon we record after Flyover Festival is probably just going to be the three of us talking about flyover flow. So jump on that if you haven't already. Otherwise, I have my podcast that I do solo called The Midnight Air. It's where I take three dumb stories that are sent in by listeners. I then break those. Oh, wrong show. I was like, dumb stories.

Hang on him. He does lists. My co-hosts is Vince. It is a great time. Vince, when did you start doing it, Al Dara? This is another show. Yeah, he's in. No, it's just a dumb, loose, pop culture, general topic, stuff for my life.

Little Hangout Overnight Radio Show. Overnight Radio Show. So listen to that. And then go to Daniel Van Kirk.com in November. I am doing the Flyover Festival. I'm also doing a lot of shows. Charlie Barron's and I are doing stand-up shows together, and I'm working more of him. He's a great dude that I really like.

He's really fun. We're both building our new hours, so we're doing some of it together. Great. He's very Wisconsin. I'm so glad you're doing that. He's a good dude. And then in November, also, I'm doing a big, huge. Bloomington, Indiana, Habitat for Humanity

Charity Show. It's a big theater. Come out to that for a great cause. Have a great time with me. And then you can see me doing one of Kyle Canaan shows right before Thanksgiving in Chicago. Everything's up at Daniel Van Kirk. That game. Let's get into this story. I'm sorry. Ready? Yep.

Guys, I say it a lot, I know. But I don't say it all the time. No, you're... But when I say it... Judicious. It's fun. Here's just the headline sent in by Carleen McDurbit at She B. Carleen. Doing a great job. Evil Knievel, in quotes, because it ain't him.

It is not him. Evil Knievel motorcyclists swallowed up by London's sinkhole. See? Now, the universe said, Was that intended? What if we put a hole here? And an idiot said,

what if I jump over it? I can jump it. So this is the question. Which came first, the sinkhole or the daredevil? But you're telling me, it wasn't like he tried to jump buses and then everything fell through.

No. Bad timing. They weren't prepared for a hole. He wasn't prepared to, be a daredevil, but everybody said, who cares? Okay. A motorcyclist had a narrow escape after he fell into a huge sinkhole, which opened up in a

road, according to shocked neighbors. Oh, wow. The hole began to open up on Tuesday evening, but as residents stood and watched, a motorcyclist came along the road. This is a very short story, but it's got everything we need. Came along the road. Spotted the hole and tried to jump it like evil caneval, the famous American stuntman.

Don't you need a ramp? But he fell into a how deep void i will tell you guys it's smaller than you think right but it's enough that you go that hurt that's stupid so would you like to guess if it's over two feet it's gonna hurt he's on a motorcycle yeah it's probably like five feet five feet five feet that's four feet four 12 feet he jumped in to an eight foot hole now that's a lot yeah i have it or aaron may have it also i don't know if this is what it looked like when he jumped into it bro so i don't know if that's more than eight feet, right? The perspective might

make it seem. You're not clearing that, evil caneval would be like, you need a ramp to get over that. I love this one my favorite, don't people tell. Somebody goes, what the fuck are we doing in this show? Like, evil can I will look at that. Right. Evil Canneville would be like, I can't jump this. You can't just

go over that with queen. What? Just let it out. Like, what did what did he see at first where he's like, I can do this. He saw his dreams. You know what he saw? He saw her coming back. Right. He's like, I'll get her back she'll see this i mean that is wait wait so he came to the edge of the sinkhole then backed up and he was like i got this yes but like as a stuntman like what it what is a resume building start at like

is this like the entry level like it's an eight-foot sinkhole i think it starts with look at how high i can jump okay right and then wow i bet i can jump over that with my feet and then then you get into bikes and then motorcycles i mean he's he's uncle rickoing it he's like i can throw this football over that mountain and no and then they're like then the mountain was like let's see like in that movie he just said it and we kind of believe it most people can't even tell how far away a mountain is right like they're always like that mountain running they're like that's an hour away that's so far away yes he couldn't tell how far this thing was okay so the hole opens up according to residence he falls in according to residence he climbed out of the

hole and told onlookers and told onlookers he needed a taxi before he decided to run off yeah your bike is gone little help and then was like like, you know what? I'm just going to call. I guarantee he was like, the wind was knocked out of him. He was like, I gotta go. I'm out. The fact that he crawled out of the hole is a miracle. They talked to everyone except this guy. Do you think he

promoted it? Like on... Exactly. I'm going to jump over the goal. Smash that like and subscribe. Gather around. Gather around. He's an old carnival barker. Mick Stevens, who's 49, and an aerial technician who lives next to the hole. That's his full bio for the rest of his life.

Where do you live, man? You know that You know that single? I'm right there. He wrote, or he wrote, he said, quote, I parked on the road at 9 p.m. and thought, what the hell is that? I know it's London. I don't care. No, but I want him to have that accent.

What the hell is that all about? Quote from also McStevens, there were one or two people standing there looking at something. Then a motorbike came speeding along and tried to jump over the hole. He must have thought he was evil and evil as something. How far did he get? That's my question. Does anyone describe how far he got? Because to me, I could see him just literally going off the end and going straight down.

The hole which we saw is 8 feet deep, 15 feet wide, and 20 feet long. 20 feet. Dude, that is. There's no way it's clear in 20 feet. He's not clear 15. No way. But how can he ride on the width? Because you can't get enough speed.

Don't doubt this. This feels like one of those math problems you get in elementary school. Like, if the hole is 15 feet, you're running a motorcycle. And you're a little drunk. Got that's the variable. Yeah, your blood alcohol got that is 0.03. Sol for X, salt for D. Yeah, for drunk.

Sol for BAC. Yeah, solve for BAC. Yeah, Sol for drunk, could be the title. Nick added, this is him, he goes, he fell in, into it with his big bike. Then he got out and started shouting, I need a taxi, I need a taxi, then he ran off. Oh, my God. The police and Fire Brigade, final sentence, were here for hours. That is just.

When dumb finds you This is it Anytime someone sees something That they shouldn't do And says I can do that I will watch We will be there to make fun Bring it to us

I love it All right there's a show Vince again The specials on Veeps Up and Coming October 9th it drops Or dropped Up and coming

Check it out And it's on Veeps For the next two months And then on YouTube Dude good luck With everything Hell yeah man Hopefully we get to do some shows

Together in L.A. I love that Yeah thank you guys for having me This is so much fun Amazing. We love you guys for watching and supporting. And oh, snap, we've got to get back to work. We'll see you. Peace.