Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 304: Johnny Pemberton!

Episode Date: September 7, 2018

Johnny Pemberton, comedian, actor, mildly knowledgeable gardener, reggae enthusiast, friend to both insects and mammals, and meat-balloon joins the DTFH for a fun one! Listen to Johnny's album: [Recorded For Quality Assurance](https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/recorded-for-quality-assurance/1368861123) Check out Johnny's podcast: [LIVE TO TAPE](https://starburns.audio/podcasts/live-to-tape-with-johnny-pemberton/) This episode is brought to you by [Squarespace](https://www.squarespace.com/duncan) (offer code: DUNCAN to save 10% on your first site).

Hey babe, what you got there? This is a check from Carvana. I just sold my car to them. I went online and Carvana gave me an offer right away. Then they just picked up the car and gave me this. Oh, that's a big check. Well, obviously you could put this towards your next car, or we could finally get that jacuzzi,

or I could start taking tuba lessons, or I could quit my job and write my memoir. Or I can put it towards my next car with Carvana. Sorry, your check, not mine. Sell your car to Carvana. Visit Carvana.com or download the app to get a real offer in seconds. This episode of the DTFH has already received

15 awards from the Mininger Institute, as well as three adulations from the Inder Collective. And of course, as always, and I never stop being thankful, a bow of tribute from the Woodsmen. It couldn't have happened without our wonderful sponsors over at Squarespace.com. Head to squarespace.com forward slash Duncan for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Duncan to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Greetings to you, sweet friends. It is I, Dee Trussell, and you are listening to the Dugga Trussell Family Hour Podcast, a beacon of light warding off the vampires of darkness, hopefully, from your life. In my life, for that matter,

these raven-winged croakers of the wind, the ones who spread their incredible stories of fear, horror, lack, limitation, despondency, the impending apocalypse. My Christ, I went to the doctor yesterday. I like this new doctor. He's a new doctor. I haven't had a doctor in a while.

He shoved his finger in my ass. That's not why I like him. I mean, I like the fact that he told me my prostate's doing great. When you get older and your meat body starts melting down, you never know what they're going to find. So it's always a relief when an older man withdraws his fingers from your asshole and tells you,

your prostate's great. Thank you, doc. Thank you, my God. God, let me suck your dick. Thank you. I'm so happy to hear that my prostate is fine and the meat body is doing well. One thing I've been noticing, though,

is there is a tendency these days in miserable people and elderly people to think it's the fucking apocalypse. Have you guys noticed that? It's very rare to come upon a radiant, sweet person who also will tell you that the world is ending. But my God, when people are like older people, as we get closer to the great void, the vacuum,

whatever you want to call it, I mean, the truth of the matter is, we're sort of in a matter crack on which either side is infinity, the clear light, whatever you want to call it, the great, beautiful, radiant, infinite, sweet, never-ending expansiveness of emptiness that we hear talked about in Buddhism

in certain forms of Christianity. And we're in a kind of meat crack right now where we're on the, I don't want to say the wrong side of the wall, but the other side of the wall, there's a lot more space. Here, we're sort of stuck in a gravity well or smashed into a planet. We're basically pushed into this dimension.

There are more meat balloons being filled up with a kind of sentient, infinite energy. And once we get in here, we take it very fucking seriously. Where people of the crack is essentially what we are. Meat people of the crack is how, I believe Khalil Gabron referred to us in his wonderful poem, Crack, Crack, Crack, Crack, Crack, Crack, Crack. It's one of my favorite Khalil Gabron poems.

Oh God, I love Khalil Gabron. Sit upon synthetic fur with my lover and pour honey on my balls while I read Khalil Gabron to my sweet. But you know, we're in a meat crack and we're sentient. And once we get in here, we have to deal with the fact that these meat balloons that have been inflated with consciousness, the soul, whatever karma,

the karmic patterns, the an outflow of infinite love, energy, however you want to put it, these fucking balloons, they get holes in them. They gradually deflate or quite often they just get like exploded by some catastrophe. And so it's a tough thing to deal with the fact that you're meat balloon. You know, that's one of my favorite kids books.

When I was growing up, my mom used to read that to me. It's hard to be a meat balloon. I think it was Dr. Seuss. I don't have it memorized. I never was much of a memorizer, but I believe it went something like, it's hard to be a meat balloon. Sometimes you feel like a flesh cartoon,

all swollen out into time and space. You've got a name, you've got a face, and yet you know you're nothing at all. And still you roll the bowling ball or some shit. I can't remember exactly how it goes. It's something like that. Because we pushed out of the infinite into Western society at the particular time

that we pushed out into, we haven't really been taught about what we really are, so we get super attached to the meat balloon. And when the thing starts deflating, then we have to deal with it. And the way some people deal with it is by saying it's the fucking apocalypse. This is what happens.

If you look down at your fingers and you realize, oh shit, man, things are getting a little more wrinkled than I expected, or you look at yourself and you're getting old, and you're also talking about how you think it might be the end of the world, then you're right and you're wrong. You're right in the sense that,

well, it's the end of the world, if you think the world is the temporary blister of meat protruding in the time-space continuum that has your face and name attached to it. Yeah, for sure, that thing's gonna dissolve, pop, whatever, it's gonna go back. But if you think it's the end of the world for all the other meat balloons

popping into this particular crevice of reality, I think that's just rude. Come on, gang, let's face it, we're all that exhalation of the divine into this meat crack. God blew into the meat crack and inflated a lot of meat balloons, billions of meat balloons,

not just human meat balloons, crickets and rats and squirrels and elephants and giraffes. There's all kinds of meat balloons roaming around this particular pocket of time and space. Beautiful meat balloons, but the human meat balloon, my God, when the clown of time begins to warp and twist the human meat balloon into a variety of sinister shapes,

well, fuck, it can seem really scary. But the moment you realize the puffed-up thing parading around in the spotlight, whatever it may be that's causing you to react in a negative way, it's just a temporary balloon inflated with the exhalation of a superintelligence that is composed of love. Just a meat balloon, warped by a time clown.

This concept is better expressed through song. Here's a track from Klee Williams' upcoming album For Giving the Time Clown, available on Silver Phoenix Records. That's not my enemy. That's just a meat balloon twisted into the form of my ex-wife by the clown of time.

And now a reading from the 19th patriarch of Zen. Honey, do you know where my phone is? Sorry, it's the third patriarch. It's the third patriarch of Zen. The 19th patriarch of Zen, he wasn't the best patriarch. The way is perfect, like vast space, where nothing is lacking and nothing in excess. Indeed, it is due to our choosing to accept or reject

that we do not see the true nature of things. Have you seen my phone? We have an excellent podcast for you today. Johnny Pemberton is here with us. We're going to jump right into it, but first, some quick business. This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by Squarespace.com. Somewhere in space at this very moment,

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Is that possible? I bet it is. I bet you can actually find some kind of meat substrate, maybe meat mixed with latex. Maybe there's a way to take the cremated ashes of a loved one or a pet and mix that in with some kind of latex and then mix that in with meat. So you get this beautiful recreation of the being

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and they all connect at the shop over at DuncanTrustle.com. As always, a deep heartfelt booming thank you to all those sweet souls, my patrons who have subscribed to the DTFH over at patreon.com. That's patreon.com. To my opening, rambling things,

bug the fuck out of you. Do you listen to my raspy, seemingly lesbian, chain-smoking voice and think, my God, I just want to get to the fucking interview. What do you have to say, man? I'm up to my neck right now in gravel, in a gravel pit,

planning an attack on a castle in a distant part of the fucking planet just trying to relax. And here you are trying to give some kind of reincarnation chat talk. Just get to the fucking interview so I can relax and do what I was made to do. Kill the emperor of Garnol.

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You'll get one hour-long opening thing that just goes on and on, that you just me-yap it. And you'll also get access to our Discord server. And most importantly, you'll be my patron, my master. My heart will be your pearl. And you will be a clam. Head over to patreon.com.

Ford slash D-T-F-H. Friends, it was with great joy that I present to you this episode. The last few, I've been a little heavy, man. And it felt good to finally do one that's just fun and silly and ridiculous with one of my closest friends, who I truly think must be a genius.

You can listen to his brilliant podcast, Live to Tape. All you gotta do is go to johnnypemberton.doge. That's johnnypemberton.dog. He's also a TV actor and a movie star. You can watch him in Johnny Knoxville's new film, Action Point. Now everybody, peel the beetle off your face, lay down on your stomach,

and allow the sweet mockingbird of paradise to explode from your lower regions, flying to make a nest of love in the tree of today's guest's heart. Everyone, welcome to the D-T-F-H, the genius of Johnny Pemberton. Welcome, welcome on you, that you are with us.

Shake hands, no need to be blue. Welcome to you. It's the Duncan Trussell family. Yes, sir, we are here with Johnny... Oh, mother fuck. Hang on. The metronome, baby. It's the Duncan Trussell family. Yes, sir, we are here with Johnny...

Hang on. The metronome, baby. Turn it off. Every time... Get set, turn off the met. I got echo and I'm living like a bet on the street with a cat and a cat on my back. I got a black cat on my back. Claws dug deep, can't go back.

Starbucks sitting on the curb like a rat. Hey, I got two bowls, give me that. Teeth, I don't think I need them. Spit them out. White gems landing in the water spout. Yo, I love white gems. Black Timbs scratching up the walls like my name was Magrim. Shave my head, rename myself Magrim.

Call myself a lady, but they think I am a him. I took back, slicked back with the buttock tap. I got a fucking little baby called a mudflap. Keeps it pooping, dropping on my buddy's lap. That's where I'm sitting, that's where I'm shitting. Dropping on the mudflap, never, never quit in. I got poop coming out like a poop shower. Got gutters better than a brain spell.

Motherfucker, you better sit, not shout. Cause I'm a poop boy you shoot, I know who, how, who is out and I get, get, get, get out. Mice, stay out of my life, mice. You guys are listening to... That's the rap genius of Johnny Pemberton. He just came off a pretty incredible tour. I did, yeah.

Did I? Yeah, you did. So, what's that like, man? Moving, transitioning from comedy to hip hop. It's, it's, well, it's, some people say it's just natural, but some people say it's, it's, it's hard. I find it to be kind of a little bit in between. Do you get a lot of judgment or do people,

are you getting a lot of like staying? Actually, I get a lot of hate. I love the tracks, Stay In Your Lane. Yeah. From your album, it's like a combination attack of, I guess, the idea that we should even have a president mixed in with it seems like a personal attack against some of your haters.

Yeah, I love attacking my haters. Yeah, man. You were known for being one of the top hip hop stars. You got hate, bring it on. I'll take it. I'll absorb it like a sponge made of dust. Yeah. You, I was actually speaking of haters.

We were in the airport and there was a dude who was loudly talking onto his phone. Loud. So you mean a normal person? No. This was like, it's not even like the normal like, you know, airport, Lumix. Right.

Who's like talking into their phone and it's just like, how can you get mad at these? You don't know what's happening. They're going to funerals. They're going to surgeries. Who the fuck knows? Yeah. This dude, he's on his phone yelling,

I have so many haters. I have so many haters. People hate me. They hate me, but it makes me stronger. How big is this guy? He wasn't big. He's just like, Like a white guy?

He was, I think he was like some kind of like YouTube star or something. Cause he was like, he was filming himself, but I could also see like, maybe he was a life coach cause he was giving someone a lesson. Yeah. He was, he was filming something. He wasn't on the phone. Was he?

Well, on the phone in the sense that he was looking into it. Oh, right. Okay. But then there was this moment where there's like a, a, a, you know, some worker at the airport. And I don't know he's talking to, I don't know if he's recording himself, but he looks over at the. The worker.

And he's like, come on. Do you have haters? And the worker looks at him and just instant in the moment, he looks at me and he's like, I really don't. It was so sad. Cause the guy like, you know, Wanted to have a moment. He wanted to have a moment, but also I think in that moment,

he was being thwarted by the realization that, you know, maybe you don't necessarily need to have haters. Maybe that's, that's an indication, not of success so much as an indication that you, you're screaming into your phone at airports. And that's why you got haters. Right. Cause that thing that you're doing with a phone,

you're probably doing in different ways. Right. Yeah. The way you drive. Yeah. That's the big thing. I always give a benefit. I give so much benefit of so much doubt all the time.

And I guarantee most of my doubt benefits are not true. I don't. You know, I always probably go to the bathroom. My bad. Oh, she's probably like just moved here. Oh, she probably like can't see that well. Right.

Well, you, you have to, I mean, it's better to give the benefit of the doubt. Right. Like you want to do that. Like you don't want to chase someone down and beat him with a piece of, what do you keep in your passenger seat? Dude. When I was getting radiation therapy,

I was running late for that horrific event. And I needed to get over in traffic. Yeah. Right. And I remember like, but I'd fucked up. I don't remember what I did, but I needed to get over.

I wasn't, that made a mistake. And this dude, I needed to get in front of him and the guy wouldn't let me over. Did you wave? I was like, come on, let me over. But I had done something.

Like it was like, I hadn't been driving normally and the guy drives by me and he goes, fuck you. Yeah. And I thought, I get it now. Like how many times I've done that thing. What are you guys doing?

Yeah. Not yelling fuck you, but I've been enraged at some asshole in traffic. Yeah. And then it's like, and I'm looking at him thinking, oh yeah, I get it. Yeah.

You don't know. How would you know? Right. It's not like I'm flashing some pitiful ass thing on the back. Yeah. There's no way to know. Right. So it's just to judge you immediately and decide like,

oh, that person looks like they're having problems. Yeah. Or if you see someone who's like, can barely reach over the wheel and is old and is sort of confused and kind of doing that thing where they're like, looking with their chin up, looking around like over their face. Then you're like, oh shit, they're going to kill somebody. Yeah.

Just driving a steel missile through the fucking maze. That happens all the fucking time. Like old people just make a little mistake and oh, I just killed a bus full of teens. I know you hear about that. Going up the interstate the wrong way, for example. What? That's a classic.

You know, you hear about that. And, and yeah, it's, it's, you know, I guess like we gave them too much of the benefit of the fucking doubt. We should have like taken their driver's license away for them. Take them away. Put them away. Lock them up. Shut them up.

I don't agree with this. Take them away. Shut them down. Lock them out. Dude, you're. Lock them up. Shut them away. Push them down.

Right when you start doing that is where you and I, I think split into two different categories because to me, I just don't agree with your like geriatric prison. Retirement should be a punishment, not a gift. Dude, that's so fucked up. 65 still alive. It's time to get out. Get out.

Get off the freeway, Sally. I'm going to lay. I'm just going to, I'm going to lay down a track from your album. Okay, go ahead. And it's just a beat. And then I love it if you could do like a live rendition of your rap, like railing against senior citizens. Oh yeah.

That's a big hit actually. Okay. I'm going to drop it in. Hang on. Let me just put the beat down. Hang on. I'm pulling and I can't get up. We're sending help immediately.

Mrs. Fletcher. See. You're so old. What you doing old? You think like a bunch of mold. Get out of my house. You old lousy. Wessing up my money.

Smelling crummy. Send me home. Send me home. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out.

Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out.

Get out. Get out. Just like a dummy. Still not my money. Motherfucker you are old. You stink like a power bowl. You are always at the end scole me. You told me.

I named free. I bust up fucking break, see. But you can't direction anymore. You can't see. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out.

Get out. I'm affected with this redness. I'm gonna got my eyes up bloody. Got glaucoma but the weed smoke. Don't make it anybody holma. But the butter on my bread, wish you were outside, not dead. Oh folks. Get out the home, dig your own grave and lay down in it.

I wanna hit it. I want to win it. I'm gonna pull you out of the fence like a pendant. Bust. You're all a little crows, sticking a little old people in your nose. Doin' some Coke and die. Let's put it. Taking out my life insurance.

Yo. You're so old. What you doin' old? See you're just like bounce back. Yeah. I mean that was amazing. But it's terrible. Yeah.

I mean it's sure it's terrible but I mean talk to the people who have lives been ruined by ancients who refuse to go into the grain field. Look at what ancient grains. What grain field? We got these ancient grains. That's what I call them. When you see an old person who's like diddlin' around. Yeah.

They just can't make up their mind. They're walkin' slow. You're goin' in the grocery outlet. They're just dragging those fuckin' loafer feet. Those stinky clubfoot. Dragging it in the grocery outlet. You're tryin' to get in and out. Buy some discount maca powder.

I mean oldies are just stinking out the lane. This is ageism. Pure and simple. Yeah. It's great. Nothing's better than ageism. It's horrible. Get him in.

Get him out. What's the... Okay. So what's the... You're saying 65? 65? If you're not out of the way at 65 then you're in the way. This is...

You need to be in some place else just to be like a whole other realm. You know that movie Downsizing? Yeah. Talk about that. You get downsized when you're 65. Maybe not literally downsized because we don't have that technology because it's impossible to do that. Yeah.

But just you gotta be like someplace else. Unless you're workin', unless you're still doin' what you wanna do, like you're like a famous film director and you still got your wits about you or you can do what you wanna do, you just gotta be out of that. Get outta here. Does this have something to do with the fact that one of your major haters out there is actually a 70 year old hip hop artist from Florida who's been ripping you new ones and all of his albums?

Yeah. I mean it could have something to do with it but also he might be hating on me because I'm hating on him first. But I mean the story is that when you shifted from comedy into hip hop, he came out. By the way, you guys can look it up. His name's Major Hater. He's an ancient grain. He's a senior citizen who lives in Florida.

He's a pile of spelt. He's basically a pile of fuckin' spelt. I don't wanna like dig. Millet. Right. My intention in this. Amaranth. Jesus.

I truly didn't wanna like, I didn't wanna fan the flames of some kind of horrific fucking beef that you've got with Major Hater but I'm just gonna read one verse from his album. Talking about the toxicity report? Yeah. The toxicity report. I like his album name. It's pretty good. Seems to be directly pointed at you.

So I'm just gonna read it. Go ahead. You're young enough to be my son, fuck you Pemberton, stay in your lane. I'm not an ancient grain. You're gonna feel deep pain, blap, blap, blap. When my bullets fly and my dick slaps, slaps, slaps on your mom. That's right bitch, I fucked your mom. Hater.

Yeah, okay, I love it. It's great. I mean, one thing, how are you gonna even get that magazine loaded with those ancient brittle fingers, boy? How are you gonna pull back that, pull back that, what's that shit called, the slide lever? Pull back the slide on your gun, huh? Do you gotta send me auto? If you got an auto, I mean, even if you have an automatic, you still gotta do work on that.

Look, I don't wanna stay on this shit, it's negative. See this right now, I'm doing a hand exercise with a little donut. I noticed you started pumping your stress ball and we brought up Major Hater. And listen, I don't wanna stay on it, I'm not gonna stay on it, but I did do a little research into it and normally I don't like fuck your mom jokes, they're pretty lazy and easy, but apparently he did date your mom. He did actually fuck my mom, sure. But I mean, she's even older than him.

So my mom had me when she was really old, she's like Murphy Brown. No, so to me, I think that this is, you know, you're circling around something here, which is that Major Hater is your stepdad. Yeah, I guess he is, I mean. No, they were married, they were. Yes, he was my stepdad. Okay, there you go, I said it publicly, he's my stepdad. So you're in a rap feud with your stepdad?

Yeah, he's terrible, I can't stand, I hate my stepdad. All right, man, look, we're just gonna, we're gonna cut to commercial. This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by the good people over at Raytheon.com. Raytheon! Making the great weapons that defend freedom in our country. TH. Right now Raytheon is seeking medical volunteers. If you are over the age of 21 and you're interested in using your body and nervous

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I thought. I need to release an album of music. The fact that I don't have an album of any type out, it kind of haunts me a little bit. So I'm working on an album right now, I'm actually in a multi-million dollar deal. Ooh, that's cool, man, congrats. Thank you so much. No big deal, whatever. No, it's big.

Actually, that is literally a big deal. It's okay. It's something. But I'm not gonna get caught up in being counten, you know. But so I thought I could share with the podcast audience sort of the process of creation. I've sort of created the first line of a few different songs and I was thinking maybe you could sing the second line of the song. Okay, yeah, I'll just do my best.

Okay, so we'll start with the first one. Okay, I'm moving my chair to get comfortable. I think I'll have another bowl of quicksand, bowl of that man, whatever he produces, I don't wanna use it, all of his juices, I can't stop using it, hold me, hold me back now. That was fucking awesome. Thank you so much. I love it.

I love it. Someone's gonna forget how fun it is to sing. Dude, I- Singing's great. This is like having surmounted the basic learning curve of Ableton and getting to the point where I could do it now just in the low-level way I can. It's been truly one of the most liberating things of all time. Right.

To be able to sit down and just lay down a loop and then sing anything you want over it. Yeah. It's so important. You can just make the music. Yeah. You can make a sound. Yeah.

And like the prohibition on just anyone making music or calling themselves musicians. Who's prohibiting that prohibition? It's self-prohibition. Oh, self. Yeah. It's definitely from the self. You know what I mean? But people like, when I say people, it's always, I'm always referring to my own subjective

experience. Yeah. But most people, they drive around and they listen to songs and they think to themselves, they enjoy it and they may be singing along with it and maybe even sometimes if there's an instrumental piece, they'll make up their own lyrics privately to it. But the idea that you're going to like take it to the next level and maybe learn an instrument or record your own music, for a lot of people, that's just an alien concept. Yeah.

Or it's the opposite. It's people who like do it so much and they're like, they're like bedroom folks. They do it tons and it's like, you're taking this too seriously. That's it. Yeah. That's the sound class. Just have fun with it. One of the, you know, in the old days, if you were a recluse, you stayed indoors.

You stayed indoors and you would, but you'd be like Boo Radley, the classic fictional fucking recluse. If he lived today, you know, Boo Radley would have a fucking sound cloud. You know, it'd be in there making music and uploading it to the internet. Yo, Hannity, I bet you can't stand me. I'll come back like a plank of some enemy. Like the prongs of an enemy. I killed a mockingbird.

Yeah. I don't know. To kill it. I just grill it. Pull out my dad's duking. I just did it. I grilled it. To grill a mockingbird.

To grill a mockingbird. Dude, that would be an ultimate cookbook. To grill a mockingbird. Holy shit. Just mockingbird recipes. It's like, I actually saw one of those recently. I was like, those are fucking big. I think it was a magpie.

Oh, a mockingbird. But magpies are big. To grill a mockingbird. To fucking eat your ass. They will? Oh, they're very territorial. Should we eat this mockingbird I brought? Fuck that.

Do you want to eat? Do you want to split this? I don't do pepper challenges, baby. Why not? I'm sorry. I don't do them either. I'm dead serious. I think it'd be funny to eat this.

God damn it. Well, you don't have to eat water. Water doesn't help, actually. No. You don't want to help? What? Time. You mother fucker, how dare you.

Johnny Pemberton, folks, he just magically pulls out what is no doubt that what he's looking at. This is a hobnero right here. This is a hob, baby. Homegrown hob. You know it's good when it's all crinkly like that. Like a melted candle. Hold on.

Let me film. Let me film them. They've got to put this on the gram. This sucks, dude. This is a cruel, shitty thing because you're a trapsman. Hold on. That's a trapsman. Here we go.

This is it. Right here, baby. There we go. Here we are. Guys, we're filming a DTFH right now with Johnny Pemberton, who just pulled up a peppa. This is a fresh picked hobnero, fully ripened. I actually, it's not, it's probably not all that hot to be true, but it's still probably, I put one in the sposer the other day.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, baby. It's like a pumpkin. All right. All right. Don't have that much. Look at you spinning the fucking thing.

All right. So here we are. I guess like my show has just turned into like some, like pepper eating, the new genre. That's all the internet is now. Where you eat peppers. We're going to try this hot ass pepper and watch, you know, I think it is about the pepper thing, why it's so popular. Why?

I think it's a simple thing. It's just that, that old throwback to authenticity is that when you get hit with the pepper, it just takes you down. It just takes you down. It destroys you. And it doesn't hurt you. It's not like a drug where it's got like after effects. It basically just like reduces you to a crying slump of a man who's drooling and go, ah,

ah, it's kind of a thing where you're purified through pain in the way that's so assessable that it's basically like normal. It is. If we are watched by a sentient God, right, it's got to be one of the things that you truly like as the laugh factory says, makes God laugh because like it's like when I watch my dogs chase each other or when the dogs get overly serious about a toy. Serious is great. I don't know if you ever see that one.

They're like, it there. That's my toy. It means a lot to them. Yeah. And then you're looking at it and you're like, it's like a little like hamburger. Yeah. It's a felt hamburger. They're acting like they've got their little fucking mouths on like the some ancient codex

of wisdom. They're like defending it from the other dogs. And to them that is like, I just feel like if God watches us any time we intentionally inflict pepper paint onto ourselves, there's got to be it's got to be like one of the hilarious funny or like sad or some kind of. I don't think it's sad at all. I think it's like joy. I'm going to do this.

You've manipulated me fully into eating your goddamn pepper. Did you grow this? I did. And here's why I want to eat this is the reason I want to eat this is because I have grown probably a hundred of these in this one plan that did really well this year. I've given them all the way. And this is the last one. I just picked it today.

And I'm like, I'm going to fucking eat this because this is the peppers that I grew. And even if it hurts me, I just need to say I've eaten it. Well, we will eternally record this. Should we like put some music underneath the. I think so. Let me see if I can. It's really just kind of scary to be honest. I'm terrified.

I can't believe you're doing this to us. Honestly, I can't believe you're doing this to us. Hold on. Let's find a track to play underneath this. All right. Here we go. We're here with Johnny Pemberton. We're about to eat this brutal fucking pepper.

So how banero. I don't know how he's. I never do this. Shit, man. No, I don't think you can have a heart attack unless you have some sort of crazy allergy to this, but you probably would have found that out by now. Right. So I just cut it in half and I quartered it because I think eating even a half that

would be probably pretty. You want me to eat that entire fucking thing? Just take a bite from the tip. Right. We'll take a bite from the tip. Right. Motherfucker dude. Fuck.

It's hot as shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It's hot as shit.

Oh, come on, Johnny. That's so fucking bad. You fucking bastard. I love it. You've got to masticate it though. So you're doing that. Okay. Here we are.

Here we are. Fuck. Oh, that's all right. I'll be back. Ah. Oh. That was terrible. Oh, fuck.

Oh, no. Fuck. No, I know why. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Ah. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. At ease. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You're weird. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You're призn旁. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fucking. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. We're not even close to bad though, this is nothing.

I saw one people who got divorced because of one of these. No, you didn't. This woman was wretching. Like, she was like fucking dying, like 20 minutes of her just going, oooh, oooh. Has anyone ever died of this? Probably but I think it would have to be. I don't know.

I'm using the guy who vaped the shit. Yeah, I see that. That's awesome. I gotta go put milk in my eye. You're doing that. I'm essentially pepper spray myself. Yeah. All right, we'll be back, gang.

Okay. We're back. We were just talking about, you know, now I feel refreshed. Yeah. I feel like I just got out of a steam room. Isn't it crazy how, like, weirdly therapeutic that experiences? Plants are healing, you know. That, you know, it's so great.

I love getting old and I know you hear older people say this shit. Yeah. And you think that can't be true when you're a younger person. You're just saying that to make yourself feel good. Really, man, like, because you start figuring out certain things when you're young, you think are absolute horseshit, you know, because you're young. Because you don't feel any kind of pain. Right.

Right. But you know, like, I used to think like I would hear hippies talk about when I was much younger, like plants being medicinal or plant medicine or that nature heals or that there's this like, and it's so weird that I ever resisted that seeing as how like the medicine comes from everything. Yeah. It's all synthesized from nature. Why the fuck would I ever disagree with that shit?

But it was just one of those stupid things when I was younger. They disagree with that. But yeah, one thing you, you realize, I've realized is like, oh yeah, I get it. Like these little babies are actually, they want to, they help us. I don't know if there's an intent behind it, but they certainly like heal and peppers have this purgative effect. You know, the other thing they say is very healing, which is really weird to hear. And I still disagree with it, even though I hear it from so many people I respect.

Nicotine. I can, I can see that, but it's hard to, it's hard to do it the right way. Right. Right. And like, like in the West, people have been abusing it so much that it's like, it's like killing them or something. But what do people, how do you use it effectively and medicinally? Yeah.

Okay. So like, have you ever heard of PAS? No. There's like, in the West, there's like two big problems that are happening. People always sucking? No. Polished asshole syndrome. Really?

Yeah. There's two problems that are happening in the West. Holy shit. So with men in particular, one problem on one side of the, on one side of the fence is a lot of dudes are known as like lazy wiping boys. Have you heard that term? No. LWBs, lazy wipers or lazy wiping boys.

Okay. So basically like a lot of men in the West don't understand that it's not okay to just like wipe your ass twice and then pull your underwear back up. Yeah. You got to clean it good. Yeah. So this is the sort of the concept of like skid marks, you know, this idea of like skid marks in your underwear.

Right. It's the mark of skid from poo. Yeah. And if you're getting that, it's like, that's not normal. Like you shouldn't have skid marks in your underwear because you should be cleaning the shit out of your fucking assholes. So you don't like have skid marks, but a lot of lazy wiping boys, they don't understand that because they're, they're, they aren't taught that as kids, like you got to clean

your ass. Yeah. You wipe until there's no left to wipe. Right. That's what you should do. But on the other side of the continuum, PABs, yeah, PAS, Polish asshole syndrome, which is that the opposite of a lazy, lazy wiping boy is like some kind of like guy or attention. Yeah.

Over attention. And then what happens is like, you see these men's assholes have become like river stones. Okay. You know, and it sounds the way I'm describing it sounds good, but it does sound good. I love the river stones. Yeah. But this is not good. It's like what ends up happening is like a lot of the really important parts of your

asshole get polished down and it reduces everything in your life. Yeah. So it's so nicotine to get back to the use of nicotine. It's like the way it gets used in Peru and the way it gets used in a lot of the deep forests. The jungle. You can say it. Well, deep forest.

Yeah. I mean, a lot of people saying that now in place of jungle, I understand. Deep forest was a, I don't know if they still make music, but it was a band that a great band, great band. And the name deep forest, the music of deep forest actually came from the quest of a solving pierce who was the art, the music director of deep forest who had PAS. Oh, right. Okay.

And this is all coming back to me a bit now. Yeah. Tormented by it, right? Mm hmm. Relationships falling apart. That first time his lovers would like slide their finger up and then you feel, oh my God. It just goes in so fast that almost it's like a thing where there needs to be a speed bump. And if you go in that fast, you'll break some tissue.

He did that. He would actually put like a rolls of tape, oh really rolls of tape to try to like slow down the, the, um, the fingers and, but the, so he is called bucket wash. Yeah. He was doing it. Mm hmm. There was like a couple of his songs are about like the disappointment on the face of his lover when she realizes he's bucket washing and he had didn't tell her that he has PAS.

How dare. So it slows you down. And so anyway, the whole band, the name of that came from his journey into the forest to try to figure out if there's a way to like basically rejuvenate or reverse the effects of doing like over wipes. Wow. And where's the knit coming to this? Well, that's what they do.

When you go into these, like a shaman, when they, if they identify that you have PAS, you will, usually the way it's done is you just sort of like, it's just like you're getting like searched by a cop, except you put your hands against a tree. Right. And there's two, like on either side of you, the shaman's assistants will, one assistant will grab one of your ass cheeks, the other assistant will grab the other ass cheek. They ceremonially pulled them apart, opening of the gates as it's called. And then the shaman will chew tobacco, a cut of it, a cut that he's been chewing for

three days. Wow. Yeah. So it's, this is like just, I guess, Nectar. And then the shaman will shoot that into your, on your ass. It's amazing. And it heals so many people. Yeah.

I've always wanted to try that. The problem is getting that many people in the same place at the same time. Oh my God. I mean, yeah. Fine. Talk about scheduling. Huh. That's one of the, call me a cab.

No shit. It's so hard. That's one of the worst parts of being a shaman I've heard is just scheduling the different assistants. Yeah. There's actually this company called Thunderbird Energy Bars. They used to make, you know, these delicious, all natural bars and they were shaman blessed. Now I used to eat them almost every day.

I loved them for camping. They're great. Did you notice a difference? Like, what? What happened was, I noticed that they're not making them anymore and it was because the shaman, they couldn't get him in enough. Well, couldn't he do mass blessings or is he blessing each fucking bar? I don't know how it worked exactly, but I know there was shaman blessed.

I don't know what the, what the, how many you can bless at once to make him blessed, but whatever it was, it wasn't working out. Isn't Amazon getting in trouble for that because like they've got that whole assembly line with shamans who are like over a blessing and they're all getting sick or whatever. They're like, I don't know. I mean, I've heard of something about that. I think that's right. Cause if it's old saying how much wood could a woodchuck, chuck a woodchuck, cook, chuck

wood, replace woodchuck with shaman and replace wood with everything that Amazon sells. Yeah. I mean, that's going to be a long fucking poem. Is that a poem? How much, how much, uh, how much shippable product can a shaman bless if a shaman compress could, could, could bless all the blessable products that exist in, uh, an Amazon warehouse? Yeah. You're talking about the Hanson equation.

It's like we're, this is to me, I'm fine eating an energy bar that hasn't been blessed by a shaman, but I guess once you start eating those types of bars, you don't want a non blessed bar. You don't. It's something where your body knows you can tell it. It's like, imagine if you had an orange that you didn't chew, that's the difference. It's like, oh, uh, you can't just swallow an orange, right? You got to chew it, such as the case with bars that haven't been blessed.

And that's the thing now, like the Hanson effect, that's this thing that they're running into is that they're trying to automate shamanism. And I think there's, there's just a lot of bumps in that road. I'm not against it. I mean, this is, I understand the uncanny valley right now. It's pretty intense when it comes to shamanism. So you see one of these like robot shamans and it's, you know, it's definitely, if I'm on ayahuasca, I, I don't maybe necessarily want to be sitting across from like one of

these, you know, I don't know about a shaman, it looks a little too house a wax. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, it's, it's looks like a person. Here's the question though. Yeah. Would you rather not have the ayahuasca experience? Cause what, what these robotic shamans are doing, they're allowing a huge swath of

people who previously couldn't afford to have access to a shamanish shamanistic experience, they can do it with the new automated shamans, they kind of access to it. Yeah. And it's one of those things where it's like the car, like it gave these people, it's the model T of shamanism. One of my friends, I think the reason I have sort of a negative sense about it is one of my friends, uh, was at one of these ceremonies and like probably two hours in, and he said, it was great up until that point, because actually the way they

do it as you're like laying back, you don't necessarily even look at the robot. But he said that, uh, two hours in, uh, it just stopped and like running their cards through the side of it and it wasn't accepting payments. And then it was asking for people's Amazon passwords and stuff. Collectively. Well, like you, so yeah, he's in a group. He just, no, he said people were into it. Like it, you know, it's like when you're in the elevator at a hotel that you have

to use your key to like get up and like, for whatever reason, your key doesn't work, but someone else in the elevator runs their key through it. It's the exact same thing. Like people are coming up and like trying their different Amazon accounts and then was saying like, Oh, what's your password? And then they cut, you know, they're on ayahuasca. So it's like you're not remembering their password, but even the ones who remember their password, it was trying to do phone verification.

Oh, then it's also doing that thing where it confused your account with someone else's. And yeah, the, the, the robotic shamans have an only custom tailor your, your experience with your purchase history and if you have your, if you get an ayahuasca experience for someone else's purchase history, bad news, that is going to be, uh, what we call a one on one bad trip. Yeah, man. That's, that's, you don't want, you know, they shaman's traditionally sing, uh, Icarus is what they're called.

They're these, you know, beautiful songs. It's like Hey. But what they're, it's filled in with like actual meaningful they're powerful magical songs that help guide your, uh, ayahuasca experience. Now the ayahuasca, the robotic, the automated shaman, the robotic wastes, they, it sounds more, it's sort of like, uh, I don't know, it's filled, it's like got brands, like kind of like, but put in there in a smoother.

It's like, it's not, when I'm saying it, it sounds like it's a night of horrible late stage capitalism, corruption of a very beautiful tradition, but it's not. No, no, it's not at all. I don't think so. Not at all. Uh, I mean, all I can do is hope that it won't happen. Like how, you know, how the EU is banning Bach right now. I know.

Thank God. Yeah. I'm all for that shit, man. Yeah. I don't, I just don't think Bach's music has any place in modern society. It's just, it's too mathematic. Yeah. It's too mathematic.

It's, it's, it's also, you know, it's, it's, uh, I don't want to say it cause I don't want people to say I'm some kind of fucking kook, but they have connected the dots, chickenpox outbreaks to, uh, listening to Bach. Yeah. Oh my God. It shingles. That's where shingles starts and ends. I, the next time you get shingles, just think, was I just listening to Bach?

The next time you're, I was talking to a friend of mine, fucking shingles all over his face and agonizing pain. I'm like, well, what, I didn't even ask specifically Bach. Right. I said, I hadn't written Bach on a little piece of paper in my pocket. Yeah. And I said, so what, what have you been listening to? And he said, yeah.

And I pulled it out. I was like, there you go. So yeah, I don't know, man. I don't, I get it. Like we're learning about music now. We're starting to understand that it's not just sounds. It's fucking serious mathematical equations being basically turkey bastered into your ears.

Yeah. I was going to say, you know, you can't, you can't bring the goose to the table without a few feathers. No shit. And if you do, it's not a goose. No, if you, if you, if you, and if you don't have feathers with the goose, what is that? It's not.

I'm not eating a cat. I'm not eating that. I want to pull us out of the improv thing and talk about the uncanny valley some more, though, like something I was thinking about. Now the uncanny valley, I was talking to Rob Schraub was telling me about it. And it's deeper than I realized the uncanny valley is like something that's like math. It is mathematical.

It's like, are you serious? I think so. Yeah, it's. I didn't know that. I don't, I don't remember exactly if he said it was mathematical, but it was like a much studied phenomena. I have a question. Yeah.

It's just apropos of the current, uh, isn't there like a cafe being opened up or like a brothel? Yeah, the fuck brothel. Yeah, it's in Germany or whatever. Canada is in Canada. Well, I mean, no, this is like going to be one of the, this is like, there's so many hilarious technological disruptions that we're going to experience as we keep going forward in time.

And one of them is sex robots. It's like, you know, it's, it's as people figure out ways to it's fucking with craft, like sex robots and it that crosses the uncanny valley. And where the truth is, like, guys don't give a fuck about a man will fuck the uncanny valley. Like a guy, like a guy's will fuck men fuck donkeys. They do it unhappily and they announce it. So that vice thing about those guys in Columbia, they fucking,

this guy's like, tell them how he fucked a donkey. He lost Virginia to a donkey. He's proud of it. He said, quote, she treated me well. I'm not kidding. It's like, what the fuck, man? Right. Get in the city.

Get out of the country. Yeah, man. So, you know, that kind of like interspecies sex and sex, but with Matt, with robots, it's, it's coming. And it's like, for people, it's, it's an interesting problem. Also, not just like getting your own sex robot. That's fucking expensive. Right.

Oh, yeah, it's very expensive. But getting some kind of like thing designed for augmented reality so that you have the physical form that you can fuck, but somehow it connects to your augmented reality goggles so that you can project. It's not quite VR. Well, augmented reality is when you can see an overlay on top of what you're already looking at. So you get this thing in your bed that is this like fuckable, humanoid thing

that doesn't necessarily even look like anything. It's more of a screen upon which augmented reality can then project anybody you want. So you can fuck Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Which is truly one of the great desires of so, so many people. And it's a, it's a weird problem because there's like two, like two overarching problems are emerging. The biggest problem is humans think that their entire point of existence is to work. So all of our economy, all of capitalism, everything is based on I'm going to do

something and turn it into money. And with that money, I'm going to buy stuff that comes from other people who are doing something. This is like the foundation of how people live. You wake up and you go fucking work. It gives it's like your self-worth basically. Yeah. So if, if everything becomes fully automated, self-driving cars and doing

everything, then, then our species is going to have a midlife crisis, which is what, wait, our whole point was to work. Like our point was to make shit in factories and like go to work. And now everything's being done by AI. What is the point of us anymore? Like what do we do? So that's one of the problems. The other problem, the other weird problem is so much of what guys do is

based on like wanting to fuck. It's, it's like, like, it's a motivation. It's a big motivation. It's like, oh, why do you, that's why, why do you get into comedy when I do anything really? It's so you can, you can be like, yeah, you can be, uh, what's it called? Like some, you can be someone who is, uh, not presentable, but, uh, like we're, it's like basically what I desired.

Yeah. It's when the bird makes that, makes the nest or the cool thing to show off the females. It's, it's a version of that. Yeah. And you, and you, and you have these like plumage plumage. Yeah. Yeah.

The Bauer bird being, or you know, the, that class, it builds, it gets little pebbles and stones and it's like builds a little house. So this has been, whether you like it or not, the motivating principle behind a lot of what guys have been doing for a long time. And to the point where I just had Jason Luv on, and he was saying that, and again, I need to check with some like other Tibetan Buddhism people, but he was telling me that the thing that brings humans into the human realm from the bardo in between life and death, as opposed to like letting go and emerging

back into the unified hole, the monad becoming like free part of the clear light, the thing that draws humans back here is sex. We're so sex addicted that sex is the sort of pen ultimate addiction. It's like the true reality. Yeah. And that's what keeps things going here too. It's no accident that two are sort of intertwined and it's no accident that DNA kind of looks like this spiral tangle of like, you know what I mean?

The whole like thing that's drawing us here is the desire to fuck. And that's at least in Tibetan Buddhism. So once we're here, then we start building a life that starts off with, you know, I want to be successful and a lot of dudes want to be successful for, you know, because they want to sustain themselves. They want power. They want food. They want shelter, but there is no matter what, I mean, for most guys, the

point where like Tesla recognizing the distraction of wanting to fuck. Supposedly one of the rumors about him is that he actually castrated himself on there, heard that. Yeah. Yeah. Cause it was too much for him. It was like always like everything he was doing was so based on wanting to fuck. Yeah.

Wanted to remove it completely from his system. It is a thing that yeah, it's a, it's true. Right. So now if suddenly we, we make it so that men no longer have to. Follow the normal ways that you would have to do to draw a mate to you. It's kind of like, well, I mean, I don't know what would have, what would happen in like, let's say monkey society, you know, what would happen if suddenly like monkeys no longer, or any animal species, if the animals no longer had to

commit, no longer had to compete to get mating rights, what would happen to the species because what would happen is the alphas or whoever was like the rams that were winning the fights to gain mating rights, well, they would still be fucking the organic ram females, but all the other rams that were fighting them would be just humping fucking like pseudo rams. It's basically like you're in zero gravity and at some point in zero, your muscles start to atrophy and like the human body is not designed to live in zero gravity, you know, you'll die.

Because you're, well, you won't, I mean, you will die, right? You start changing. Start changing to the point where you can live in zero gravity, but to go back to gravity is an extreme shock, like it would kill you if you're, if you spend a certain amount of time in zero gravity and you don't condition your body to mean to be able to live in gravity, your body will, it'll atrophy to the point where you couldn't just go back in gravity. Yeah, you have to, when they come back there, like there's

problems, you can probably walk, but Tim Leary, one of, one of the coolest theories that he had or what I like that a lot of people don't even know this about him is this concept that when humans go into zero gravity, they're going to like, that's when the next level of evolution kicks in, right? That we're the gravity, the gravity well that we're in right now is in some way suppressing our evolutionary unfolding. And so our whole point is to go migrate through space. And once we hit space, that's when the next thing kicks in.

So the stuff they're calling atrophy or the weird shifts that are happening to astronauts DNA, Leary might argue, and I don't know for sure, because it's like highly complex writing, he did on this, he might argue that actually what you're seeing is the beginning of this metamorphic phase is happening. So, but with the problem with sex androids is that, like, we're, it's the same thing with SoundCloud. It's like, you know what I mean? We're going to start witnessing, or maybe even with podcasts, you know, or

Twitter, it's like formally in, formally in comedy, you'd go on stage. You do stand up on some, the, the, the gravity of situations and the, what's it called, the stakes changed dramatically. Yeah. So maybe to the point where there almost is no, there are no stakes. Yeah. When there are no stakes, a lot of, a lot of, like, you know, my good old buddy, James Howard, counselor is, yes, he's very fond of, of calling the time

right now. Um, nothing matters. Anything goes. Kind of thing where, how is that true though? I mean, I guess he's talking about more concrete kind of stuff, like, in terms of, like, urbanism and, uh, energy politics, but just how there's so many things that just, that previously would be a big deal that are just less of a, they're just, they don't really matter.

Well, it's because things are becoming increasingly reproducible. It's like we're looking at like this exponential increase in the reproducibility of things that formerly used to cost, like, so for example, like, you couldn't even do this, but when you're sitting and watching a movie, uh, you're seeing something that if it were made for one person, it would never, ever be possible. Like it would have to be some insane millionaire. Like an emperor could have that.

An emperor would be like, a personal film. A doos for me, a personal, there's a good idea, by the way, to, I want to pick up the point where I can have a personal film. Yeah. But the fact that we can reproduce it with zero, essentially zero, we digitize it and reproduce it, it costs nothing outside of whatever the processor and your computer is doing. Once it gets to the point of digitizing and reproducing it, it is now, it doesn't

cost anything. And so then we all share in the, in the cost of producing this insane work of art, like video games are another example of this. Like when you're playing God of war, you're looking at something that took years in teams, massive amount of work. And this couldn't have just been like you, if you play that and play a game with yourself, we're like, what if this was just made for me? You would be thinking like, my God, this is from an alien or something.

But because we can reproduce it and it gets digitized and the reproducibility of the thing makes it not only possible, but profitable. Right. So now we're essentially, what it is, is we're looking at like reproducibility of like matter, being able to print shoes out, being able to like automate, reproduce without having to use human effort. So we're removing this, we're basically beginning to remove a lot of force fields that were constructed in between a human and their ability to live

out their desire. That's what's happening. The amount of time in between what you can imagine happening and what you can actually experience is shrinking. So in, for some people, like they're thinking God, you know, you, you see, I don't know, whoever you think is the most beautiful, who's the, who's like an example that peep Scarlett Johansson, is that an example of Ray Fiennes? Right.

Yeah, Ray Fiennes. Ray Fiennes. Exactly. You see beauty on, on, you know, you see like a person who's like in the top percentile of symmetry and beauty on the planet to the point where they're making millions from being in movies. So like, this is the movie star. And you see them, you're like, my God, my God, they're so beautiful.

You know, but you could, you never, ever would be able to know what it was like to kiss them, to touch them, to, and if you wanted to, you would need to like probably dedicate your life to that task and probably even fail. And then you just be some crazy fucking stalker. You'd end up like, I want to kiss you. I want to kiss you. Yeah, I got to kiss you. I'll die.

Yeah. But to even like gain access to the people that you're, we're seeing in movies in the eighties. If you even wanted access to them, you would have to like either be in their industry, be like incredibly successful yourself so that you're like hanging out in the same circles, then technology comes around. Now you want to send a tweet to the fucking president. You could do it.

You want to send a tweet to whoever, whatever celebrity happens to be on fucking Twitter, you could do it. You can get blocked by the stakes. Right. It's like everyone can have, there's such a, such a well level playing field. Well, one playing field is very level. Yeah. Certain aspects of things that are incredibly level that it's like, there's

never been that way ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. And now it's going to get to the point where you could have your sex Android and have some kind of like reproduction of whoever the most famous person. Oh, you want to see what it's like to make love to your best friend's mom? No problem. All you need is your Facebook profile. Throw that through some kind of like CGI, right? You know, something that turns it into 3D space.

Now this doesn't exist yet, but you think it's not going to exist in 20 years. Just the fact they have all that facial mapping stuff that people can do now. What is it like the technology that costs 50 bucks now would have taken a team of people even a year ago to do, you can get on your fucking phone now. You can like steal someone's face and put it on anyone's face and make it look like they're that person is the one speaking to things. That's it. I've seen some of those and I'm, I almost can't tell the difference.

I can tell the difference, but I almost can't, which means that not that long from now, anyone who doesn't is not super familiar with it. You won't be able to tell a difference. So this is the uncanny valley and we are right now at the very end of the uncanny valley and we're about to cross over. And, but I was the, to get back to the uncanny valley. You're saying how deep it is, how it's more deep than we know. Yes.

So the way shrub explained it to me, which is super cool is like, okay, so if I draw a stick figure as a cartoon, so the stick figures dancing around, doing whatever, you're going to watch that and be like, whatever, it's a stick figure cartoon. Right. But if I make the stick figure cartoon with some kind of, I don't know, CGI. And I start making it increasingly like a person. Do you mean the way it looks?

The way it looks. It's going to get so in other words, now it's not a stick figure. It goes from a stick figure. Let's say I'm drawing a stick figure of you, but now I draw like a, just a little like, I don't know, Simpson style cartoon of you. Still cool. No one's going to look at that and be like, that's fucking creepy. Yeah.

But at some point, as it begins to get closer and closer to being an exact replica of you, it hits this like kind of like, I don't know what you would call it, a feedback loop. And when it starts getting closer and closer to you, it becomes increasingly horrifying. Right. Cause it looks so close, but there's just, there's like a missing, the, the soul of it is missing.

Who's that animator, the brilliant CGI animator who does, is that Cole Cush? Is he the one who does that? I can't remember. I think so. He, I think he did my vice TV one where you, you know what I mean? Right. And, and, and you see that shit. And it's like, whoa, it looks, it looks awesome.

But it's supposed to look creepy. But that's the uncanny valley because he's creating within the uncanny valley and he's producing the disequilibrium intentionally that comes from that. Once you pass beyond that, now it's just video, right? Now you look at it and it just looks like fucking video. Yeah. Cause someone filmed it. Yeah.

So it's really interesting. It's like the closer you get to being something authentic, you hit a point of static. You hit a point of like, as I'm beginning to harmonize with you, you know, you know, like when you try to harmonize, but you're just out of key. Yeah. There's a, yeah, that's the uncanny valley. That's a good analogy. I never thought about that.

It makes so much sense. Yeah. Yeah. Cause, but when you get super close, it starts to get like, it's like, yeah, like it's really long. And then it's the point where it is the thing, or at least physically it looks like the fucking thing. It's on top of it. Yeah.

And so I was thinking about that. This is like really dumb, probably, but I was thinking like, okay, Kanye West, right? Fucking genius, man. That guy's a genius. I don't care what you, like all the, like after I moved through the Kanye West jealousy force field, which I think I was feeling a little bit just like, mother fuck, look at that. Like just like, just to be able to like be that prolific, that's super successful. And not give a shit what anyone thinks.

Not give a shit what anybody, it's totally free. Like something about that, like I went through a period of not even thinking it was jealousy. I went through it and just feel like, whatever, man, just everybody likes that guy and the fuck it. Yeah, I'm too sophisticated like that guy. And then I started listening to him. I was like, oh my God, this shit is fucking incredible. This is like, oh God, it's painful. How good it is.

And then finally I was like, all right, I like it. It's cool. But when you look at his videos and you see him on the motorcycle, it's fucking cheesy, dude. It's like so, so flowery and cheesy and weirdly cheesy, almost like, uh, outsider artist, cheesy. Right. I was thinking like fuck, Kanye is in the uncanny valley. He's like, he's in the uncanny valley artistically. And the shit that he's tuning in with is some kind of like transcendent genius or something,

but he hasn't quite hit that. Right. So he's like, he's close. His face is out of phase a bit. Yeah, yeah, but he's still so fucking close that everybody's like, oh my God, what is that? But he's not quite there. So there's like this like, there's this sense of like, what the fuck? The motorcycle, I don't get it.

I don't understand. It's like fucks with your head. Like if he moved a few inches over, I don't know what it would be like. It's at the angle of entry or something. It's that, it's that small window of it being the right thing. Yeah. And then you look on the other side of Kanye West, you get Daniel Johnston. He's the stick figure.

He's sitting with his guitar and piano and you hear it. And it's, it's like holy music, sacred, holy music. Cause he's so far on the other side that he's so unaware. Yeah. Yeah. That awareness thing is interesting too. I think about that, the idea of just how aware of you are aware you are of, of what you're doing and thinking.

Right. Like, I feel like we're just, we couldn't be more aware that people have never been so aware of themselves and others than right now. And it's this thing. Well, a lot of times I'm sort of, uh, I actively try to make myself unaware because I just want to feel that liberation of stupidity, like feel that like if you don't, like you think, I think about what I eat all the time. Like I'm constantly aware of like, Oh, is this have soy lectin in it?

Does this have this is all that stuff you're aware of? Cause you know it. Yeah. But just to be like, Oh, I'm freezing right now. I need to get warm. Like to feel that the very, the purity of some sort of like a primal need. I haven't felt that in for a long time. Like a real primal like, Oh fuck, I'm going to die.

I'm so cold. I need to get warm. Right. And then you get warm and it's like, Oh, I did it. Your brain gives you a download of serotonin because you, you did the thing you did to survive and you get that fucking download. Yeah. You're like being cradled by nature.

You know, you're like the fire or the warmth or whatever has become like this nipple on the goddess and you've like, you're suckling like pure truth. Yeah. It's this, it's unadulterated truth. It's absolutely real. Yeah. Making a fire so you don't die. Yeah.

Thing. Yeah. And then there's just never, that's never the case. That's why people, a lot of times I've heard people talk about this guy, Scott Carrier, he's like a journalist. He writes a bunch of, he has this podcast called home of the brave. But he always talks about how he wants to have his ego wiped. Like how much he loved to wake up one day and not know who he is.

Just know nothing. Like just be like wiped over clean because it would be this thing where you would be experiencing everything from the point of like, uh, of a pure beginner, just the point of purity where you wouldn't have anything. No ego, uh, filtering or interrupting what you're doing. You're just coming from a place of just, uh, we call a real primitive place. Well, this is then mine, beginner's mind. Exactly.

This is it. Like you, you never achieve anything. You never like the whole idea of achieving some this or that. It's just a game you've been playing with yourself because in every moment you really are a brand new thing, but this is intolerable to people because they think, Oh, I've earned this, right? This, whatever this, this like refined ego, this refined identity. I mean, do you not see my body of work?

Have you not seen my body of work? And it's like, Oh, you mean the footprints you left in matter with your soul back there? Have you not seen my footprints? How dare you? I have walked there and there and there. Look at those footprints. As you can see, I've stepped there and I stepped after that in another step. I've done many millions of steps.

And look at the sophistication of the steps. It's like you matter the definition. Yeah. The depth of the step I've stepped is so deep. And then you see this like thing that gets left behind, right? You realize like, Oh, a person's body of work, their family, whatever remains of them. Is the echo in the material universe. It's just footprints in time that look like stuff, writing, poetry.

Or what it was. How someone else is taking what you've done and what, how they've experienced that, like, you know, fandom. I feel like a lot of fandom is especially like geeky fandom. A lot of that stuff is the people who enjoy that person's work. Really don't give a shit about that person. They just care about the work they did. They don't care about that person.

It's not really anything. They're just like, Yeah, exactly. They're just like the, the person who brought that to them. So they kind of disappear. And they're not even that like special because you take that, what that person's made, you're such a big fan of it that you create your own like cosplay of it or something like that. That's right.

It becomes your own thing. You basically own it. You stole it in a way. Well, I mean, not stolen, not still, I mean, like in a good way. Like it's like, Oh, it's, it's mine now. It's just as much mine as it is yours. Thank you for making it. But I'm, I'm using by, by like doing that, I'm, I'm using the thing you made.

So this is like the difference between artist as creator and artist as cartographer. Right. So artist as creator, progenitive force that like is the womb of a thing that they're artistic DNA produce, like creates this image. So now suddenly you have whatever it is that someone's cosplaying, right? But then if you jump into the idea of artists as cartographer, which is that they've actually scanned a kind of realm of that is sort of a liminal place in between matter and nothingness is the realm of art, right?

And they have found this particular swath of that realm, which looks like Superman or looks like the Green Lantern or looks like the X men or whatever. And, and then they've mapped that realm out into matter in the form of whatever the particular like style of art is, whether it's a cartoon, a comic book, a book, whatever, right? So you could say, Oh, Tolkien was the progenitor of Middle Earth. Or you could say Tolkien tuned in to a always existing ephemeral, I don't know if ephemerals are always staying sort of like, like something that's

less dense than matter and idea space. He, he like, he like tuned into a place just the antenna on the radio. Yeah. And many people have tuned into Middle Earth, but their ability to translate it into language wasn't as precise. Their maps sucked, essentially. They had like shitty, crappy fucking hand drawn shitmaps, whereas Tolkien like tuned into it and like precisely described it, not just by describing

it, but by allowing the words to be envelopes within which were contained a little bit of the air of Middle Earth. So they fully decoded it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fully decoded, fully decoded Middle Earth. So then, then at that point, it's no longer theft.

It's like the cartographer is introduced as a place. And anytime you cosplay or whatever, you're venturing into that space. Yeah. And in fact, the artist, the cartographer is simultaneously mapped and opened a portal. And when you seek people cosplaying, you're actually looking at the inner dimensional, yeah, the fucking place emerging into time. You know, you're looking at like now, now when you created whatever the fucking place you created, whatever it was, now you're like witnessing.

That place inflating into this reality, which would be pretty awful if you made a rotten space, you know, like the Turner Diaries. Which you're talking about this their day, right? It's this is the it's what inspired McVeigh. What are what are they exactly? Turner Diaries are a shitty white supremacist racist. It's like a novel. It's a novel written as a history from the future about a horrific

revolution that happened where it's a pretty cool thing we can do as humans. What is right? Something that's false, but right as though it's true. That's pretty fucking cool thing. That's cool technology. It's like, I'm going to write this book like it's a manual for a thing that doesn't what manual for what it doesn't exist. I just put in a pretend it does.

Yeah. And then later on, what outside of context, someone will see this and be, oh, this is a manual for this thing. Yeah. We can build this thing. When I start building it, it doesn't fucking work because it's like a trick or it does, you know, or it kind of does. I mean, like that this is like, or that is that is it working is the is the fact

that it got someone to do something. Think of like, I don't know, Legos or the Lego or like, what's a what's a what's a cartoon that got turned into a toy? Oh, I don't know. I mean, like half of them, right? Fucking, I guess Harry Potter, right? Right. Like rolling just like has a vision.

She puts it into paper and then suddenly it actually begins to form into matter. And now it's like her, her thing was so powerful. It's forming into matter, but then it gets even creepier when it's like, you have this vision that isn't fiction. Now I have a vision of like something that's like the way the world should be. Yeah. Now we have philosophy. Now we have some kind of philosophical concept that you've tuned into.

And at that point, you connect to this space that doesn't exist in the world yet. But if it's powerful enough, the entire world will populate manifest it. Yeah. That's where it gets really creepy. It's like you could actually be the messenger of a dark seed. Now that's pretty satanic to think about. It's scary to think about that shit where it's like, oh fuck, man, I'm going to like, I have an idea.

I'm going to like plan a seed of this idea of like, uh, I don't know. Um, what's that shitty? The protocols of a Zion. All right. I haven't heard about that in a long time. See, sorry guys. P.S. By the way, what happened is we watched a PBS documentary on Timothy McVeigh.

They mentioned the Turner diaries. And then that took me down the shit rabbit hole where I was like looking at the different, like horrific, crazy fucking, like really, really terrible violence inducing lunacy that has come out of the super, super far racist, white, Aryan fucking like dark world. And as part of that, like, yeah, the, the discovering like some dumb, dumb rights, the protocols of Zion, which is allegedly a Jewish. So we found the book they left behind that describes all their evil deeds.

Yeah. They forgot to burn this one. Lucky we found it. Now we know what they're up to. That's like essentially a Kleenex, a reproducible Kleenex that doesn't have that, that like instead of having the Ebola virus on it has a, I guess you would call it like an info virus. Yeah.

Oh, that's, yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. I used to have this book and I was a kid, like really little kid. It was about ninja stuff. It was all about like how to be a ninja, all these things. Yeah. And I remember reading that book being like, okay, this is what I have to do to be a ninja.

I remember like trying to train based upon these super arcane things in this book and I realized now that was, that wasn't a real book. It wasn't like an actual ancient tome about had ninjas. It was something someone wrote. It seemed like that. And I was like, it's so cool. It was written by just a smart person. Yeah.

Figured I'm going to make some money. There's a documentary on the duty or the anarchist cookbook. Oh, really? Yeah. I was so into that shit, dude. I was, I had printed out the library. I remember getting in trouble for printing out the anarchist cookbook. We will never know how many burn victims exist because of that fucking book.

Thermite 101. Yeah. How to make napalm. Do you remember that? How to make napalm? Uh-huh. There's some multiple ways. I don't even want to fucking say it on the podcast because like I'm

turning into a dad now and I'm like, fuck that. I don't even want to, I don't even want to risk the small chance that someone will listen to it and hear it. Someone will take gasoline and pour it on over styrofoam. Oh, you fucking demon. Don't do it. But like, you know, what ends up happening is. Also, what are you going to do with that fucking napalm?

Huh? What are you going to do with it? You're going to fucking like burn your goddamn hand. Well, you're not going to drop it off a fucking F4 phantom into Cambodia. Are you? I hope not. You know, so you end up with like realizing that it's just a strange thing, which is like you, you can become a fucking conduit, a cartographer,

a channel through which authentic extra dimensions can emerge. And if you are refined enough in your channeling or transmission of this other realm, then it can take root in the soil of people's minds. And then that can grow. And then they open their mouths and they, they spray out the spores. They spray it and spray it and spray it and spray it. And now you've now you are just, you are just the first apple seed. You know, you are the first corn kernel, Honda, free living Subaru.

Oh, God, drivers wanted. I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony. I'd like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company. It's the real thing. I was infected with that when I was a kid and it's still in my fucking brain. That's pretty innocent. If you think about it, it's just about a beverage. It's the real fucking thing.

Yeah, yeah, it is the real thing. It's the best one. Yeah, they did figure it out. You know, they broke the mold when they came off that shit. It's crazy when you realize, oh my God, I'm sneezing out fucking data capsules that have been impregnated in my brain by corporations or the state. Uh-huh. That's the worst when you just don't even realize you're doing it and you're

like, you know, whatever it may be, you know, like, how about this new fucking phenomenon where suddenly everybody likes John McCain? They do. Have you, you seem to stay off the news. I have been, yeah, I've been pretty good at it, actually. I'm surprised how I think it's almost like a muscle. I've been practicing and I just don't check stuff anymore because I just don't want to fucking know.

It's the damnedest thing that happened. It's like, you know, I like some of what McCain did towards the end of his life. It's pretty badass. He stood up to like some shit that seems like it needed to be set up to you. Like McCain represents like the, the right. He represents a hawkish attitude about global politics. And for a while, you know, he was, people really didn't like him, you know, they, yeah, but suddenly, like all of a sudden, like pumping out of the

propaganda machine has been this very weird, sudden, like McCain worship. Really? Like from who? On all the media sites, that dude's fucking funeral went on for like nine years, man. Like he was, his body was being like, you know, like, there were all kinds of like, it was, it was just weird. It was like, you know, it's like, what's going on here?

Why are, why, what is this sudden fixation on John McCain? Like, I understand that he was a, you know, my father was a veteran. And as I get older, like my, like my, my viewpoint on those things have changed significantly. He was a vet. Yeah. It is true. And, and, and like, I get there was all the first, like I get it, but it was

just like this extra and there's been this added crazy super hyped up fixation on the McCann, like for example, the video of George W. Bush passing a mint to Michelle Obama. So during the funeral, George Bush, George W. Bush, who brought us Iraq, who brought us attacking fucking Iraq, who like scorched the bodies of countless people because of some bullshit. He loves Michelle Obama. You know that?

I could tell. They're good friends. And he passed her a mint and it got put on video and they just started, oh Jesus. What does it have to do with that? Just, they just have to do with suddenly like the sport. Like it's suddenly, you don't know exactly what's happening, but it's as though you're in a Star Trek, you're in Star Trek and you walk by a plant. That is one of those things that spray spores, right?

And you're looking at this like info plant that all of a sudden just starts spitting out George W. Bush passing a mint. George W. Bush passing a mint, passing a mint. We saw the mint passing. Did you see the mint? Did you see that video?

He passed the mint. We're going now live. We have an interpreter who's a hand analyst who's going to tell us what it looks like when a mint is passed. Is it an Altoid? Well, we actually could have been a pill. It could have been something else strong. OK, on the line with us now, he's passed a mint.

I don't know about that. Pass him. I don't think it's a pass, man. Pass him, man. I think what he passed the many was actually a piece of gum. Well, I declare we should not talk with this. No mint passing here. Now we're passing Senate Bill 2647.5 that meant passing in a state

of emergency and a harm situation. Now I'm doing it. I just did it. Yeah, we're doing it now. Yeah, it got in our brains. And now for whatever reason, we're replicating the passing of the George Bush mint to Michelle Obama. We're talking about it.

Yeah, it got into us. And now we're like it's like a little like, you know, just a little. It's a meme, right? It's a sneeze. It's a data sneeze where it's like, I don't know why I got the cold or what it means necessarily. But it's part of my sort of like being infected with information. One part of the infection is the passing of the mint.

All you have to do is look at it or even hear someone say it. Yeah. And as long as you don't know what it is, you won't get sick. But if you know what he's talking about, oh, that's what happened. You just got this. And it means something to you. You go to any part of the any. You go to most parts of the world and you're like, have you heard of the

mint passing and they're like, what? It would be like someone coming over here from another land and being like, did you hear about how Kreegore pushed the brick over by next to lax? Like, um, what? I don't know what that does. That mean anything? Yeah. Kreegore, he pushed the brick.

He's like, usually they like you to next to lax. Well, Kreegore doesn't like next to lax his husband, Soma. Yeah. And because of that, the pushing the brick is traditionally considered to be like a real tacit sense of, um, of, uh, companionship or, uh, helping another person. And so the fact that that happened means that. Yeah, it's just, it's. We think it's the merging of the, of the two tribes of brick lane.

We think it represents the murder that there is a potential intertwining of the formerly separate tribes who lay the bricks. And the fact that Kreegore, who pushed down the wall of Gorzog and, and, and created the avalanche of Trebilliam, which destroyed so many Hunderites and now he's passing the brick and the brick was accepted by someone who was against the slaying of the Hunderites. That's itor too. Itor's wife.

I mean, unbelievable to think that itor's wife would accept a brick from Kreegore. Wow. It's like that. Fucking sucks. It's like, I don't, it, meanwhile, the reality, the transcendent reality of what we're actually in, which is like an impermanent, you know, uh, uh, unfolding of time in the form of our bodies, that shit all gets overlooked for

the, for like the fucking fixation on the passing of the fucking brick. A little duker. Very odd, very odd. So much more fun to just, uh, well, I don't know. It's, I think it's nice to, to not know about it. It's hard to not know about it though. Well, it's, I think it's, it's, it's better to not know about it. And you know, this is why when you start running into people are

spending a lot of time in nature, you know, who no longer are getting infected with these like brand new memes, but the memes they're getting infected with are like ancient memes, which is I'm fucking cold and I need a fire. Yeah. Oh, this hot water feels good. Yeah. Hot water feels good. It's nice to find food when you don't have it.

These, so you run into those kinds of people whose minds are no longer like, have no longer become hives of ridiculous information. And they're, and this is, this includes some people in the spiritual community. Like totally. Yeah. Definitely. So you run into them and they're quiet. They're just calm and quiet.

Just don't really care. They don't have a lot to say. And you're around them and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you believe this? Yeah. And you can confuse their silence or their lack of like participating in your temporal drama is insulting. Like some people callous or snobby.

What the fuck? Or being on our being against you. Yeah. You're against you. Are you against me? Do you like, do you like Trump? Yeah. What's going on here?

All right. Are you judging me? Wait a second. Did you vote for Trump? He won't write. How come I'm not able to hypnotize you with my fucking infections? Why aren't you pissed? Aren't you?

Shouldn't you be angry? Right? Oh, that. Yeah. You should be fucking pissed right now. You should be pissed right now. Oh, I'm just tired of being pissed. What's that saying?

Isn't there some weird saying? Like if you're not mad, you're not paying attention. You remember that one? That's a great one. Do we do that? That's a real bumper sticker. That's like a really activist thing, like nineties activism. If you're not, if you're not furious, you're not paying attention.

Right, right. You can't, which is kind of true in a way. This part of that's like, and now how can you not pay attention? There's so much to pay attention to. There's so many ways to pay attention. All it is is attention. So when someone told me their day is that the New York Times, if the New York Times were a farm, they're having a fucking bumper crop right now.

Oh, my God. They are lapping up the cream. Oh, my God. They are just fucking there. What's the stilly Dan term reeling in the years? I guess. No shit, man. Yeah, no shit.

Like they've essentially doing great. They're doing for leaks what dairy farmers are doing with milk. They've like figured out a fucking way to just like harvest leaks. Yes. Bottle them up into like these beautiful little like like fucking scintillate. It's getting to the point now where you're just like leaks don't even mean anything anymore. It's like, who gives a fuck? They have like an airline crash.

The equivalent of an airline crash every other day. Oh, my God. Just somebody from deep inside the Trump administration, just sending them this or that thing and just it's fucking nuts, dude. It really is. Like I that's where I've been deeply fixated. And that's why I'm so like what that the anonymous thing. Yeah.

The lodestar drama. What's that? So for those of you blessed few out there, you aren't aware of this shit. Like the New York Times gets an anonymous editorial piece that is a apparently written from someone deep inside that and one from yesterday. Yeah. High ranking aid. And the piece is what people are calling a soft coup, which is what they're

saying is, Hey, just so you guys know, this isn't the deep state. It's the steady state is what they said, meaning the president is nuts. He's making crazy fucking decisions, some of which are actually okay. That's in the thing. Like we do agree with some of the stuff, but yeah, he's making fucking shit decisions. And so we've actually been like taking papers off his desk and like trying to like manipulate his decision making process in nefarious ways because we think he's insane.

And if we let him continue with his agenda, we don't know what catastrophe awaits. Isn't that what's been going on with emperors and people like that for thousands of years? Yeah, but it's not supposed to happen in a democracy. All right. Right. The problem is it's supposed to happen. Well, yeah, it's like, yeah, this is like one of the great. This is what people are saying is like, whether you fucking like Trump or not.

You know, it makes me think about it right now. It makes me, oops, all berries. What is that? It's Captain Crunch when they had that addition or just berries. And I was called, oops, all berries. It's all berries, baby. Oops, all berries. Oops.

Yeah, man. It's crazy. And the the the weirdness of like just thinking like, wait, that's like the president, he had elected and like you're, you can't take over the presidency because you don't like what he's doing. Yeah, that guy got fucking elected. It's not even possible. And you work for this is like the lefts, the response to it and people in the

middle pretty much, it seems like a universal response to it has been, you're a fucking coward, you need to quit. You need to come out publicly and say this shit. What the fuck are you doing in there? This, you know, you can't like subvert democracy. But who's the now who's the tyrant? Is it the lunatic Trump or is it the fucking secret creep who's manipulating and in like lying and like keeping shit away from lunatic Trump?

You weren't, whoever the fuck you are. We didn't elect your ass. Yeah. Who the fuck are you, man? It sounds like someone who's very self important. Well, they say it was fucking the VP pants. Yeah. Cause someone did this.

That's lodestar. Someone did a scan of the language scan. Lodestar is a word that has been used by Pence like 15 times. Here's what I got. I wonder if you work in the New York Times, aren't you going to clean that thing? Aren't you going to scrub any type of forensic wording? Or on the other side of it is what if you want to nail it on the vice president and you know that everyone's going to do a word for word search of the fucking thing

and you drop in Lodestar or what if you just fucking wrote that shit? Yeah. You went to Harvard and like, I'm going to write something as though I'm inside the administration. Yeah. Whatever it is, what people are saying is this is the signal. So in the same way that we see the passing of the mint. Yeah.

This is this is like a signal from the conservatives who don't have the guts to impeach Trump or don't want to impeach Trump or don't want to go through all the fucking shit you would have to do to like deal with the fact that the guy seems a little cuckoo. It's the wink right before everyone stabs Caesar. Right. Yeah. That shit.

OK. And three, two, one. That's it. Yeah. That's what it is. That's what people are saying it is. It's just like a tube routine. Yeah.

That's it. And it's like people. So this way, people in the right, the Republicans who are kind of like witnessing this like massive shift, apparently, I don't know if it's true or not, but witnessing like this, the pendulum swinging to the to the left. Right. Because everyone's just like freaked out. They don't, you know, the guy seems like a like he just it's great.

The price he's misspelling his tweets. Like it doesn't matter that apparently the economy is better. It doesn't matter this or that. None of that shit matters because like one function of the president has already always been to put on this kind of like sophisticated display. Yeah. And so people like, look, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck about this or that.

The guy is clearly nuts. Right. He seems crazy. This is mutiny on the fucking bounty, man. This is like the that dude who wrote the biography of like Obama. And like he's like, you know, a real journalist has come out and been like, yeah, man, everyone's just saying the guy is literally fucking nuts. The guy's nuts.

We've got, we got the same problem that somebody with an alcoholic late stage alcoholic father has, which is like, we have scared. Even if the family's making money, even if like there's like all kinds of good shit happening to the family, people in there looking at this kind of like, it's like, you know, it's like, it's like in the shining when Torrance, when Jack Torrance has like lost his mind and his wife, I can't remember her name, is having to like go through the cognitive dissonance of knowing she's stuck in the fucking overlook hotel with an increasingly degenerating lunatic.

And all the shit that's coming out right now is various versions of people saying like, Hey guys, he's not writing a novel. It's just hundreds of pages of all work and no play makes Jack a tall boy. Yeah. Yeah. People are freaking out because they don't know how to deal with either that or a nefarious element on the left has warped the infosphere in a way that is making him seem crazy when in fact he's actually got his shit together.

He's the best president we've ever fucking had and it's all a witch hunt, a phony fake news witch hunt. And so now everyone has to deal with either deciding between whether or not what we're hearing. So what you have to decide what you believe, but there's no way to know what you're, what you believe is true because everything is so, everything's so subject to falsification. Now there's nothing that's real except for except one thing that's real is I'm

cold. Oh, I'm not cold anymore. And that's where it all goes back to isn't it's like, you know what, if you're letting your fucking mind try to untangle the complexity of the current political knots that are being like displayed on every single fucking screen across the country at every single moment, forget it, deal with like the basics. Where the fuck are you cold? Where are you like, where, where, where are you?

Are you good at ultimate frisbee or not? Do you love, how's your hacky sack game? Can you get better at it or is it something you should not pursue? This and, and listen, man, we can just wrap it up on that. Can you tell my audience how they know whether or not they're good at ultimate frisbee? Because from what I've heard, a lot of times people are really good at ultimate frisbee, but the people who are playing ultimate frisbee with them are

hungover, giving them. Yeah, I would say if, uh, if you're playing an offensive game, you need to know if, if you're scoring, if you're scoring a lot, if you're able to cherry pick some, uh, some long, long distance end zone shots without going off sides. I would say that's, you know, you're pretty damn good at it. Uh, if you can sprint, if you can do like a flat sprint, uh, it's pretty fast. That's going to help. You're going to be good at that.

If you can throw a level throw, I've always thought it's, can you keep that fucking badass bandana on that you're wearing the head bandana? So I never did that, but yeah, that, that might be one that that's probably an east coast, west coast thing. For sure. Totally. Johnny, where could people find your sweet, sweet body? You can find me online at all the favorite places at New York times.com

slash Johnny Pemberton. Yeah. Great editorials, a great editorials. They're writing a lot of kinds of anonymous, anonymous op-eds. You can get my album. It's on Spotify and iTunes. All the links at duckatrustle.com. Recorded for quality assurance.

Thank you, Johnny P. Thanks. Thanks for listening, everyone. That was the great Johnny Pemberton. You can find Johnny over at johnnypemberton.dog. There'll also be links at dunkatrustle.com to connect with Pemberton. Much thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of the DTFH. And much thanks to you for listening.

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