Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 406: Johnny Pemberton

Episode Date: October 24, 2020

Johnny Pemberton, world-renowned multi-hyphenate explorer, egyptologist, author, and brilliant comedian rejoins the DTFH! Check out Johnny's new Twitch stream! You can also follow Johnny on Twitter ...and Instagram. Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg. This episode is brought to you by: DHM Detox - Use offer code: DUNCAN at checkout and save 20% on your first order! Feals - Visit feals.com/duncan and get 50% off and FREE shipping on your first order. Squarespace - Use offer code: DUNCAN to save 10% on your first site.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 We are family. A good time starts with a great wardrobe. Next stop, JCPenney. Family get-togethers to fancy occasions, wedding season two. We do it all in style. Dresses, suiting, and plenty of color to play with. Get fixed up with brands like Liz Claiborne, Worthington, Stafford, and Jay Farrar.
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Starting point is 00:00:44 Don't think about the very real possibility that you're in a government experience. And don't ask yourself more big things like doing wedding rings, milk, and a comment on me. Whatever you do, don't wonder if your soul can get stuck in the black hole forever. I definitely fuck. You should definitely fuck on us if it's amazing.
Starting point is 00:01:39 Oh, I fuck you. Don't think about Shawn Neney watching you. He's always watching me. That was a track from Crystal Gale's new album, We Should Fuck on Acid, available on Matadex Records. You're listening to the Dugga Trussell Family Hour podcast. It's great to meet you, and you should know
Starting point is 00:02:06 I've had two beers at lunch. So that means I'm. Yes. Dear friends, the person who's here with us today, I guess you could call him a multi-hyphenate. He is an explorer, world-renowned explorer who has written many books, the most recent Taints of the Ancients, an exploration of the Taints of the Pharaohs,
Starting point is 00:02:26 and the history of Taints in the ancient world. I want to map this podcast out for you so you understand what you have in store for you as you contemplate whether or not to continue listening or move on to another podcast. Today, what you are going to get is a deep dive into what the world used to be like in ancient times. And that's the first hour.
Starting point is 00:02:54 The second hour, we're just going to talk about politics. I know what you're thinking. Holy shit, that's awesome. No one's talking about politics right now. And I really would like to get a perspective on what's going on with the American elections. And that is exactly what you're going to get. While other podcasts out there are
Starting point is 00:03:17 focusing on things like the interesting shine of light as it passes through swarms of monarch butterflies drifting through the forest, while other podcasts out there are covering things like the interestingly subtle way that vines intertwine with ancient automobiles rotting in forbidden wastelands, that's Clint C. Armada's podcast Vine Talk. And while I know so many other podcasts
Starting point is 00:03:52 to the point where I'm honestly embarrassed to even mention it or talking about baby sloths and how cute they are, as far as I'm aware, there is no podcast out there right now that is covering the American election, the election cycle. And I get email after email after email after email from folks saying, I'll just read one to you. Dear Duncan, I love your podcast. I really enjoy it.
Starting point is 00:04:19 It's hilarious, probably the funniest podcast I've ever listened to. It helped me meet my wife. And ever since I started listening, I've been going to these incredible orgies and Bavarian basements and just getting banged down, dipped, dripped, and lap licked. And my guns puffed almost all the time thanks to your podcast.
Starting point is 00:04:41 But I just want to offer a little bit of advice to you, which is maybe you should be the podcast that covers the American election cycle and politics, because there's just nothing out there doing it. And I thought about this for a while, and I realized, you know what? Why not? Why not be original?
Starting point is 00:05:01 Why not be unique and take the leap into politics? Because I'm sure so many of you would like to hear it, which is why the very last hour of this podcast, there's going to be a break in between the Taint Talk when we dive into American politics. And you can decide if you want to listen. I understand if you don't. A lot of people are afraid of politics.
Starting point is 00:05:25 Most people don't want to get into political conversations about politics. But if you want to dive in, if you got the guts and you want to take a deep dive into some pretty hard core and brilliant political theory by two comedians, then that's going to be the last hour of this podcast. And you're going to be so glad you listened. We're going to jump right into this.
Starting point is 00:05:48 But first, some quick business. You know, I'm sitting here in my office, and I've been thinking to myself, God, that fucking candle that I brought in here sucks. And I started getting really angry at it. Like, have you ever gotten angry at an inanimate object? You know, I'm like pissed off. I'm thinking about like the grocery store I bought it from
Starting point is 00:06:08 and how it was in a discount aisle. And I'm like, well, that's what you get for buying a discount candle. It's going to smell like dog shit. And then I just realized I have dog shit on my shoe. And so that explains the stink. It was like, I was so confused because it's like, God, Jesus, that fucking candle.
Starting point is 00:06:27 How does it smell so bad? But nope, it's my dog's shit that I stepped on on the way to work today. And you know what that means for you? It means that I'm not going to do too much more this intro because you just don't understand the smell in here. Because now that I know what the smell is,
Starting point is 00:06:48 as long as I thought it was a candle, it was kind of tolerable. I could sit here and think, you know, that's just a candle. That's a cheap candle. Now that I understand the thing I'm inhaling came out of my dog's ass, but it's mixing in with a pungent tang
Starting point is 00:07:02 of a discount candle. It is producing a smell so vile that it makes me think of HP Lovecraft. It makes me think of ancient things. It makes me think of opening up some alien cube that has within it an egg that was laid there by something so vile that it eats planets, that it, a planet eating horror beast
Starting point is 00:07:30 that laid an egg in some kind of celestial cube designed to incubate demon eggs is what it smells like in here. It's pungent and shitty and awful. And really I gotta take care of it. I can't just keep commenting on it. I've got to take action. But come on, how many of us do that?
Starting point is 00:07:55 We spend all our lives doing some kind of review of our lives without getting rid of the fucking Cthulhu egg. We've got to get rid of this dog shit off my shoe. So we are gonna jump right into this podcast. But first, I will endure this stink a little bit longer to invite you to come home to your family. Join us over at patreon.com Ford slash D T F H.
Starting point is 00:08:25 You dive in there. We just had our family gathering. We have it every single week. We'll all get together and talk. It's fun. Wednesday, it's our House of Leaves book club. You could sign up for the Patreon and join the book club. You're gonna have to catch up in House of Leaves.
Starting point is 00:08:41 And by the time you get to the part that we're at in the book, you will have gone insane. But that's okay, because all of us are feeling the psychic poisoning that that book offers you. And on Tuesdays, we have our journey into boredom, which is a weekly group meditation. Not only that, you'll have access to the Discord server. Once you sign up, we'll get you a link
Starting point is 00:09:05 where you can meet your beloved family who will comfort you, care for you, wipe the tears from your eyes, lotion you down, comb your hair, put in a nipple ring or two, give you a tramp stamp, sew your clothes up if they're ripped, and hopefully, sew your heart up. Or if you want your heart broken, they can break it for you.
Starting point is 00:09:29 No matter what you want, you will find it in the sweet valley of love and glory that is the DTFH Family Discord. It's patreon.com forward slash DTFH. We also have a shop located at dunkintrussell.com. Now, without further ado, I would like to introduce you in case you haven't been listening to the podcast
Starting point is 00:09:53 that long to one of the most requested guests on the DTFH. As I mentioned before, he's an Egyptologist. He's an author who just published a wonderful book, Taints of the Ancients. It's available on Penguin, I believe, as the publisher. And not only that, he is a brilliant comedian. If you've seen me live, you've probably seen Johnny Pemberton perform
Starting point is 00:10:18 because he comes on the road with me quite a bit, thank God. All the links you need to find Johnny are gonna be at dugintrussell.com. You gotta check out his Twitch stream. It's happening three times a week. All those links will be on my website or Google Johnny Pemberton. Either way, I wanna remind you
Starting point is 00:10:35 that at the end of the hour-long interview regarding his new book, there's gonna be a tiny moment, a pause. There's gonna be a kind of, the sound of like claws scraping against obsidian. And then we're going to dive in to an hour of political discourse, which, as I mentioned before,
Starting point is 00:10:54 you're not gonna find anywhere else. So if you wanna talk politics with two comedians who came up in the LA comedy scene, a completely novel idea here, then stick around for the last hour. We love you. By we, I mean the many robed monks that are in my office right now sitting behind me,
Starting point is 00:11:18 many of them vomiting from the stink of the dog shit fumes rising up in my office. And now, please, everyone, open your third eye and send those glorious beams of rainbow blessing eye light through the net of Indra, the interconnected, tendril-like network that brings us all together in the astral plane so that this very moment,
Starting point is 00:11:46 Johnny Pemberton can feel that butter-like love blast, those invisible yet very, very, very present sprays of your metaphysical love juices as they rain down upon him. Welcome to the DTFH podcast, Johnny Pemberton. ["Wake Up, Johnny Pemberton"] Welcome upon you that you are with us Welcome to the DTFH podcast
Starting point is 00:12:28 Welcome to the DTFH podcast Welcome to the DTFH podcast Welcome to the DTFH podcast Johnny, I know we only have three hours, so I want to cut to the heart of this podcast, which is that I have in front of me a CIA interrogation manual that has 10 questions that they would ask people they were interrogating,
Starting point is 00:12:57 and there's no right answer, it's free association, but from that I can extrapolate a lot about you in retrospect, later on when I analyze the data set. So I thought that if you're willing, I would ask you a few of these questions, and all you have to do is free, I will ask the question, you free associate the answer. So how much free association should I do,
Starting point is 00:13:22 like a sentence, a paragraph? Hold on, let me see if I can find the answer to that. A speech, maybe like a word? Let me see, hang on. Okay. The interrogate T should be allowed to continue answering until they feel uncomfortable. So how does the person asking me questions
Starting point is 00:13:42 know when I feel uncomfortable? You just have, I have to trust you to stop, I guess. So you tell, you tell, I'm supposed to know that it's making me uncomfortable? When you start feeling uncomfortable answering, then you just stop and I'll ask the next question. You could say, I feel uncomfortable now, and then we'll ask the next question.
Starting point is 00:14:00 But you know, I have like a significant amount of experience feeling uncomfortable, so I could probably go for hours before I feel uncomfortable. Well, think about like a person, like a normal person. Like, you know what I mean? Like imagine like a normal person who's been captured by the CIA,
Starting point is 00:14:17 like when they would feel uncomfortable. Do they know they're captured, or do they just think they're like in waiting for the, to have like to pick up a prize check or something, you know? No, according to the manual, this is used for prisoners. Usually you would, like in, in this case. Okay, a prisoner, like in a black box site. I don't know what this means, but it says like in the first,
Starting point is 00:14:35 in the beginning of like how to handle a prisoner, it says they should be shackled to a green table. But obviously that's not gonna happen one soon. I mean, green table, I would actually make me more relaxed, but let's just go for it. You're an actor, just imagine you're shackled to a green table. A medium-sized bright light should be shined in their face. The temperature in the room should be 79 degrees.
Starting point is 00:15:00 It's pretty specific here. Okay, I got a blight in my face. Okay, and you, you're shackled to a green table. I guess there's a metallic loop at the end of the table. I'm assuming that's what you're shackled to. A classic like police table where they do the confession breaker. I'm thinking, I don't know why, but green marble. Like this has gotta be, you can't pull the table over.
Starting point is 00:15:27 It's gotta be heavy. It's gotta be like, you know, in the very least, it has to be deeply anchored. It's gotta be significant. Yeah, it's a significant green table. It's gotta have heft. It's gotta have weight. It's gotta have depth.
Starting point is 00:15:40 It's gotta have the opposite of breath. Yeah. Would you say it's got it? It's bereft of breathness. Yeah, there's nothing bereft about this table. It's a, There's nothing bereft about it. I think as a prisoner, if you were to, to, to see the table,
Starting point is 00:15:56 you would just get this overwhelming sense of insignificance. Like if you were sitting next to a monolith or something at an Atlantis. Yes. Just a feeling of like I, I'm a crustacean here. What, what, I don't, I have no meaning. I have no purpose. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:12 So are you ready? See, okay. So hold on one second. Let me turn that off. So Siri turn off lie detector. So here's the first question, number, question number one, three children are buried up to their necks in mud next to a frozen lake.
Starting point is 00:16:35 One of the children looks out at the frozen lake and says, tomorrow our philosophy will begin. The child next to that child says, I feel the incoming tide. The third child closes her eyes and weeps. Okay. I'm thinking about permafrost. The idea that the tides would be affected by the permafrost
Starting point is 00:17:05 is going to be something to consider here. And I'm having trouble remembering what the first child said. So I'm just thinking a lot about how it's probably actually warmer in the mud. And so they're probably really comfortable because it sounds like they're speaking from a place of comfort.
Starting point is 00:17:27 So these might not be children at all. These might be star children. And so I'm thinking like this is an omen of, this is a good omen basically. Because anytime you have three flying frozen stars, which those star children represent, that's a triple, that's a stack of suns. So that's going to create a gravitational field.
Starting point is 00:17:47 And so the fact that she mentions a tie when the lake is frozen and they're in mud, that just tells me that we're in an off-world universe here. And so it's kind of all bets are off because it's obviously a chaotic period. So it's just a matter of waiting for a stable period. Guess what I'm thinking about, yeah. Mostly think about this sound.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Mm-hmm, mm-mm, mm-mm. What the fuck? That's what I think about. Are you uncomfortable yet? You have to feel uncomfortable. I can't get there to feel uncomfortable. I could manifest uncomfortableness. All right, I feel uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:18:48 I feel uncomfortable. Okay. Next question. Got it. A trapeze is situated above a circus filled with gypsy women. Okay. They are all naked. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:19:03 On the trapeze, a mime gesticulates while flapping his large penis against his taint and navel. Uh, I gotta say one thing. Uh, wish I was a mime. I wish I wouldn't mind being, I wouldn't mind filling in his shoes. It's probably a size 13. And that's a, that's a lucky number in this case. Um, man, you just go to 13 is a lucky number. 13 is a lucky number.
Starting point is 00:19:33 I gotta say that, you know, just the, just the idea of being, uh, with a bunch of gyps, naked gypsies in a tent, because you know, Wait a minute. It didn't say that they were naked. Yeah, it did. You said, no, it didn't. No, who says, who's not say that just the mime. No, you said that the women are naked gypsies.
Starting point is 00:19:51 There's no indication in the, in the reading of them, of the gypsy women being, uh, naked. People who, okay, well, you're going to be made a fool once the tape rolls. Um, well, either way, in my pre-association, I'm like, these, these, these naked gypsy women are naked and they're just down to clown with the mime, with the big old wrangled dangle, who's about to smack and spray until the cows come home. We're going to light this tent on fire. I'm going to do some elevated drop downs with a full on, um, like a hanging hard on. We're going to be doing some sort of perpendicular pumping straight into these,
Starting point is 00:20:28 uh, these traveling ladies. Disgusting. Uh, wet ass presses. That's so gross, man. You want a gross mime? You know what? See, that's my all my feel weird. That's where your mind goes.
Starting point is 00:20:42 That your mind goes to that. Like when I think about this, I think of art. I think of the sanctity of art. I think about a delicate marble statues. I think about gardens. I think about, um, herbarium, but I think about the wet garden of the ovarium, ready to be, uh, seated by, by this, by the Stingy. Oh, gross.
Starting point is 00:21:06 By the nasty mime who comes to town once a year to, uh, to sort of diversify the crop of human flesh. How gross, Johnny. Like you sexualized that, but that's, look, I'm not going to shame you for that. One more. Here's another one. You said taint though. So what, what did I say?
Starting point is 00:21:23 You said taint. So to you, taint is a sexual term. Well, yeah, I think it's exclusively sexual. Not to me. Well, I say perineum when I'm at the doctor's office. Well, I, I don't have your kind of insurance. My doctor says taint. Well, you got a taint problem here, Trussell.
Starting point is 00:21:42 My doctor's like, let me see your taint. All right. Get the britches off. Let's take a look at your taint. Oh, you've been biking a lot. I can tell. What kind of bike you got? Is it, is it a mountain bike?
Starting point is 00:21:57 Oh, this isn't a mountain bike. I got a road bike. I can see that from here. That is so funny, man. It's such a weird coincidence. So we're watching the new season of Dayline and they, so they find a body in the national forest, a biker. They're assuming the, there's no bike around, but he's in Lycra.
Starting point is 00:22:19 And so they take the corpse and they do the autopsy and the, uh, the, the forensic specialist, the pathologist, or whatever you call it. What do you call it? Uh, I guess you call him a, I guess you call him a corner or not the corner. Corner. Yeah. The coroner, a medical examiner. That's what they're called.
Starting point is 00:22:40 The medical examiner does a measurement of their taint. Yes. And just like you're saying, they were able from the imprint of the bike seat to take that and like from the taint cast a mold of a tiny piece of the bike seat, which then they were able to use to identify the bike. And then they were able to look at the local, uh, bike shops. And so they went to a bike shop showing the imprint from his taint, his taint. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:13 And they, uh, were able to like locate, uh, who he was because he paid for with a credit card. So that's how they identified the body. Oh wow. That's interesting. So that's all they found out is who it was. Yeah, that's it. They don't even know how he died.
Starting point is 00:23:28 That's what's weird about it is it's just like a dude in Lycra. He's dead and like they just measured his taint and they found out who he was. It's so weird. That's why the taint is where it is because it's hidden away because it's it's called the fingerprint of the soul. Was that what I've heard that? Yeah. Because it's been used by modern science to identify, but also as far back as
Starting point is 00:23:50 the Sumerians were using the taint is basically like, it's like almost like an RFID chip where you know how you scan, you get a retinal scan stuff. That's all based on taint logic where you would, you know, you would go up because it's really hard to, uh, you know, to like, you know, the whole idea of yoga, why it was invented. Who invented it? Well, I just learned reason that yoga was quote unquote invented.
Starting point is 00:24:14 So people who meditated could sit in uncomfortable positions for a very long time. And so it's like to train your body so you can do that. But evidently that's not true. That's like a, that's like revisionist history. Yeah. It's actually like an offshoot of the Sumerian empire where yoga was taught. So you could raise your, uh, leg above your head very quickly so you could be identified by your taint.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Oh, right. Yeah. I think about that a lot, man. Like, you know, the these days were so lucky because like photo ID, retinal scans, fingerprints, but there was a time when you couldn't really take a picture of someone. There was no way to like, so what you would, it makes sense that you would want to find some sort of like unique identifier and what is more unique than
Starting point is 00:25:04 that, you know, acreage between the genitals and the anus, the acreage here. Yeah. That sacred swath of a kind of hidden grove. That's what the word sacred actually comes from. Sacrum. Sacrados. No shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Which just comes from, that's why it's called the sacrum, sacrados, sacred, same thing, same word. It's all the same, baby. It's all just one little, just all one little dude who's just what, what do you think Johnny is the reason that the taint has become a kind of taboo compared to the times that you're describing when, you know, if you were just going through a checkpoint or probably if you wanted to buy some marble or grain, grain, or like, uh, maybe some molasses or, uh, me possibly a horse
Starting point is 00:26:03 to implement a horse and you wanted to buy that on credit. Uh huh. You would just lift your very flexible leg and just show your taint and be like, this is my, but this is my badge of honor. Why, you know, why do you think since then the taint is almost an unmentionable part of the human anatomy? It's just a classic, uh, top down power control structure. It's just a high control group that has become the, the governments of the world.
Starting point is 00:26:34 It's, uh, it's just, uh, you know, it's, it's a type of thing where if you make something shameful, then it decreases its value. Right. So it becomes, uh, something where only it can be dealt with in the black market. And then you can control this by having a system of laws and, and, um, you know, the police and all these things like that. Why do you think these, these indecent exposure laws are so heavily, um, police and why it's like such an outrage for that?
Starting point is 00:27:01 It's not, it's not a coincidence. Let's take a, let's take a moment to really consider, uh, the economy of the body. Uh huh. That's a good way to describe it. The economy of the body. So yeah, if we, you know, if we had to, uh, I guess you could say create a map of the human body, uh, the nose, the eyes, the nipples, the taint and assign value to them, what do you think would be the monetary value of a taint, uh, one human
Starting point is 00:27:37 taint and how much do you think the monetary value of one human nipple would be and explain your answer? This is in the CIA interrogation. Have you seen the movie Akira? No, I have not. Okay. Well, uh, I, I think a lot of you listeners probably have. It talks about the idea that the, the atomic power of even the smallest object
Starting point is 00:27:57 has, uh, like if you split an atom, that's a, that's a nuclear bomb. And that's just one at, so, uh, think of how many atoms are in your taint and basically it's how many atoms are in an average taint. Oh, I have no way of guessing. I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm not an engineer. Hang on, I'll Google it, right? I'll Google it. Hang on.
Starting point is 00:28:14 If you combine that with the idea that, um, seven atoms, sorry to cut you off. I just lost my train of thought here, but Akira, no, you're saying like the atom is, uh, the power of the atom. If we split one atom, we can cause a nuclear blast. Oh, you know what I was thinking about is, you know, the idea of the, the sovereign citizens movement. Yeah. If you combine that, the idea of Akira and the sovereign citizens movement, the
Starting point is 00:28:39 side of the sovereign citizens movement is just about the innate wealth of the body and how we're all worth millions of dollars because of our taints, but the government seeks to deny us that and, and that is true. By the way, if we, like, if we, so think in terms of like, how much does a hellfire missile cost, right? It's 200, $200,000. So, and that's just a simple missile. How much does a, uh, gar, garfielder cluster bomb cost?
Starting point is 00:29:08 Right. That's $638,000. How much does a Magnus Sam missile site cost? How much? It cost 3.2 million. Yeah. God damn. Wow.
Starting point is 00:29:22 Yeah. I know I, I like how much does a, uh, uh, one of those, um, uh, catastrophe terraniums, that new, like crystal bomb. The MRAC with the laser guided Garver system. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't even know that price is five million. That's an option, the Raptor program, which is Raptor program.
Starting point is 00:29:41 It's obviously, as you know, is just a smoke screen for the, for the Garver, the Garver control system. Yeah. The Raptor program I've heard, they, there's nothing even in the program. The entire program is just a, not just a smoke screen for Garver, but also a smoke smoke screen for that, um, the Devish warp project that, uh, Oh, we shouldn't be talking about that right now. Honestly.
Starting point is 00:30:05 So that, so let's bring it back to the taint. Yeah. So if these incredibly advanced systems that do compared to like an atomic bomb, less damage, maybe more focused damage, but less damage, if they are so incredibly expensive, then how much would just any average Joe's taint when weaponized be worth? That's what you're talking about in the sovereign movement. It's something that's been speculated a lot.
Starting point is 00:30:33 I think there's a lot of people who've talked a lot about, I'm trying to think here and try to remember some names, but, um, people have said that, um, God, I think that, uh, I'm trying to remember his name right now. Well, um, John Deerfield, who is someone who has said a lot about this, um, you know, you've got, um, call Stunk Monkey, Dave Rainwest, um, Collander Buck and, uh, Collander Buck. Yeah. Call him on Hannity, by the way, does not, I saw a buck on Hannity.
Starting point is 00:31:06 Oh, you did. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Collander is, uh, someone who has set us upwards of $1 billion. So that's a lot right there. And that, that makes sense. Why all these numbers are coming together because every sovereign citizen is a billion.
Starting point is 00:31:23 We don't hear this because if a sovereign citizen reckoned, like you take a value of a human taint, I think that's overpriced, to be honest. But I, you know, I think it is somewhere in the 800,000 million range. But I mean, that's all, it's all speculation here because everything changes so much. So because the markets, yeah, the market, because like, you know, you, if you wanted to buy like, uh, an indigenous taint in the time of Columbus, that's going to be like a, uh, probably 50 bucks or something like that.
Starting point is 00:31:57 Well, that's the price that they put on it. Yeah. That's what Columbus put on the tank. Yeah. He was the first person to, uh, downmarket those first person to like, basically devalue something that was, was previously priceless. And he put a value on it, which was, you know, it's devious, but it's genius. It's fucked up.
Starting point is 00:32:17 One of the many horrible things he did. And when you, this is that moment in every school kid's life. When you, if you, like, when you're, when you really hear the truth about Columbus and you hear that he did not have a taint. No, he was taintless. He actually, uh, he actually pissed and shit out of the same hole, which was really hard for him. That's actually why he left Europe because he was ostracized so much.
Starting point is 00:32:41 And he, he was so dead sad. I'm finding a way to turn this around that no way to, they call that read the book, the invisible Columbus by Bertrand Kroger. It's an incredible book, but it talks about how being completely unable to identify himself via his taint, having no taint would be the equivalent of non-person, non-person. Yeah. I mean, I think Crone, how do you test his test has talked about that as well.
Starting point is 00:33:08 But that was, you know, that was turn of this entry and a lot of that stuff didn't get translated. So, but it's, it's, it's so true that these, these non people are the ones who are exercising the most damage across these, are these societies. And it's really something where there has to be a test for one holders out there that's, yeah. They're, you know, the one holder movement is, you know, look, they, they talked about it, which you knew Columbus was around way before you saw him
Starting point is 00:33:37 because the stench, the stench of that leathered taint that he would, because he was, you know, he's known for many horrible things, hacking the arms off of people, spreading disease, being a mongrel, rapist, pirate. But a lot of people don't know that he was actually repurposing stolen taints and stretching them out in, in that, like whatever that undersection, that undergun area. Well, he called it the leather rose. That's what he called it, which is nuts.
Starting point is 00:34:09 Cause he like apparently just, it was like the, the combination of like just shit and rotting stretched out, like poorly tanned taint. Cause he didn't want to, he didn't apparently, like, if you, if you, whatever the leathering process is, I'm not sure. What is that? Well, it's tanning. You put it out to out in the sun with chemicals and stuff. You tan it and it creates, if you take it and you stitch it, well, you can
Starting point is 00:34:37 create a rose-like shape. There's this, it's a leather, a leather rose. They say the leather rose, the captain's room and in his ship was like, they were apparently like these fucking human skull bowls that were filled with these like, like tanned taints. Yeah. It was a taint tanner and he did that. He just went to the ends of the earth.
Starting point is 00:35:01 All because, you know, there's no, you know, the movie Citizen Kane. Of course. I watch it every two days. Yeah. I watch it every week. I'm as good as you. But, you know, he's trying to find Rosebud, that name Rosebud. That's what that is.
Starting point is 00:35:15 Citizen Kane is supposed to represent Columbus because Columbus was so sad because he just didn't have a leather rose, which was what they used to refer to as the taint back then, the leather rose. The leather rose. We're going to jump back with taint historian Johnny Pemberton. But first this. Great. Boom, boom.
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Starting point is 00:38:22 Just head over to nodayswasted.co slash dunk it and use promo code Duncan and check out. That's nodayswasted.co forward slash dunk it not.com.co forward slash Duncan. Try it out. If you don't like it, you will get your money back. Save your next day. Thanks, DHM detox and we're back. So let's talk a little bit about the process of tanning a human taint.
Starting point is 00:38:56 These days, it's a lost art, obviously for like it's it would be very illegal. I would love to know what's the basic process you would use if you did have if you'd come upon a taint and you wanted to tan it to, you know, to use Columbus's style to make a leather rose. Yeah, I think it's you have to have a very specific pH of urine. That's how it starts off with, because the thing with the natural taint is it is it is tanned. It is a leather rose.
Starting point is 00:39:30 It was called leather rose because that's how it appeared to be deprimitive people. It was like it was like a rose. It had it was layered. It was tough, but soft. Yeah. And it was it was very fragrant and a rose. But not I wouldn't call it fragrant. Fragrance is a taint from antiquity.
Starting point is 00:39:51 I would not want to smell. I wouldn't want you know what I mean? Think of the stench of an ancient taint. I would say that stench would be a more modern word to use, but fragrant is something that gives off a scent. So fragrance not necessarily mean good. This is something I, you know, I know that there's an entire science devoted to smells we've lost and the smells of the ancients.
Starting point is 00:40:11 And this is to me like I would love to know, do you ever feel a sorrow that you might never smell an ancient taint? Oh, every day. I every day I wake up with an emptiness that is not knowing ever. I'll never be sure of anything I smell. I'll never know if this is this is an authentic smell or this is something that's been manufactured by the powers that be to trick my senses into thinking that I am in the correct portion of the multiverse.
Starting point is 00:40:41 So yeah, it's something I struggle with because I struggle with it. What do you mean the multiverse? You mean like you feel like we can use not just the visual of a taint, but the aroma of a taint to identify where we are in the quant and the multiverse? A lot of people say that, you know, it's this thing where, you know, how dogs are so happy. Yeah. Well, they can smell really good.
Starting point is 00:41:06 Oh, wow. Sense of place. Sense of place in not just the universe, but the multiverse. So when it, wow, that's why they go for the balls. Yeah. Because they that's where the richness is. That's where the most I'll say it again, most fragrant zone is. And so it's just the most information.
Starting point is 00:41:29 And they. Um, I'm loving your book, Taints of Antiquity. And, uh, when I got to the part where you had convinced, uh, the Egyptian leaders at the time to let you smell King Tut's Taint in that moment of victory, when they opened the sarcophagus and you were able to, can you just describe that moment because for, I was, I was crying when I read it, just to, to know that like finally you would at least get some sense of what an ancient taint might smell like.
Starting point is 00:42:12 It was, uh, it was exceptional. It was something where, uh, first I didn't think it was going to happen. I applied about three years every day for three years and I kept getting rejection letters and I tell me about that first rejection letter because that one was brutal, vicious. And if I'd gotten that, I wouldn't have, I don't think I would have continued. Well, they didn't reply for a year, but then the first actual letter was, it
Starting point is 00:42:36 was a novel, it was an entire thousand page novel, uh, that they hired a team of writers in, uh, they hired a bunch, hired a group of Wekar Muslims, uh, holy shit, under enslave like conditions to write a thousand page novel, completely down dressing me. And I was forced thousand, like I've gotten many rejection letters in my time, but a thousand page down dressing from slave labor. Do you remember any passages that, uh, that hurt, do you remember the passages that hurt the most?
Starting point is 00:43:12 Uh, they called me a mendicant, a fraud, a silly heart, a do nothing, a puff waster, a scant critic, a gully walk, a dunk tester, a shame wagon, a gel fester, they called me a ronus eyed, rudus bee. They called me, why would you keep writing though? I, if I'd gotten, they even called me bitch, swill. So, but I moved past me that I don't know how you would do that. Cause you knew that at the other end of your journey would be the, uh, the, the leathered rows of King Ted.
Starting point is 00:43:54 Here's what I knew. Why would they spend that much time to down dress me if they weren't hiding something very important? So I was about to give up when I got that rejection novel. I was like, Oh, I doubled down. I tripled down and I started going hard in the paint, contacting everyone I knew in the community outside the community. I set up a coffee shop in, uh, Canada just to make money to, uh, finance my
Starting point is 00:44:20 trip and, um, they actually became very successful. Now it's, now it's franchise. It's called red dot wonder. And, um, so, uh, what happened is long story short, I was able to get access secretly and when I was there and they were able to open the sarcophagus, which was at midnight on a Tuesday. Why midnight? Because it's the time when there's the least magnetic energy where they're
Starting point is 00:44:46 storing it. I can't talk about where that, where it is obviously, uh, but it, that particular place in the, uh, and on the earth, it's the lowest amount of magnetic energy. So it's the least chances of there being a, um, a quark blip and I smelled it. And what happened was, wait, wait, wait, I, I, I want to get into this, that smell, but you know, in the book, when you talk about the sound of that sarcophagus opening, when you talk about that moment where you were seconds away, from pushing up the mummified balls of King Tut and smelling that the taint of
Starting point is 00:45:30 a pharaoh, just talk about that. Cause the way you described that moment will, will be with me forever. Have you ever listened to Balinese gamelan? Yeah, of course. Okay. It basically sounded like that when, uh, when they lifted it up, I heard this sound and it sounded like it was coming from inside my mouth, like it was ready and through my jaw.
Starting point is 00:45:53 And it was that, that clink clink clink clink clink clink clink. It was like this, uh, a thousand sounds at once, all harmonizing in this perfect seven, eight rhythm. And, um, I basically had to, what happened was, it was a frozen time and I lived in that moment for what appeared to me a lifetime. I experienced a lifetime, a lifetime, a lifetime, but you mean like you were frozen for a lifetime or you left your body and you were able to do things? I left, I went into like a, I was, I sort of, I went into like a gray zone and
Starting point is 00:46:30 then I was born, lived and died an entire life of a, um, a beetle. Those, uh, a scarab beetle. Well, the entire life is a scarab beetle. Was it a trap? Was it like a trap in the, in the sarcophagus to freeze people? Is it a message? Was it a warning? I think it was a message.
Starting point is 00:46:52 I think it was also a warning, but I don't think it was a trap because there was no way to get out of it. So it was just something where they, they make you experience this journey in order to smell the thing. Cause once you smell the taint, you have this full lifetime of knowledge going into it and that informs what you smell. So this is the, so to me, and again, this is like right now, the folks over at Google, the folks working on the quantum computers, apparently some folks at
Starting point is 00:47:25 Apple, Mike, all the technologists are right now, uh, beginning to understand that the taint is more than just an identifier. It's a storage unit. It's a, it has within it some kind of the code of the taint. That's your second book, but yeah. Well, this is, Harper Collins is still editing that, but that's going to be out probably a spring 2021.
Starting point is 00:47:46 And this again, it's like, this is this sudden, wild realization that anyone who has a taint has access to a reservoir of data that, so again, okay. So there, so you lean into the sarcophagus, what, and what did it, what did those balls feel like? They didn't feel like a whole lot. I felt a lot of balls and, uh, you know, you have to fill a lot of balls in my field. They just felt very, um, you know, insignificant, not special, but I think
Starting point is 00:48:22 that's sort of the idea is that. Like Krusty though, or they like, I just mummified, I mean, you know, my, my experience with balls has been living vibrant, warm, musky balls. But, uh, uh, like the, an ancient scrotum. Talk about sort of like a really, really heavy, thick piece of unsalted beef jerky, like just really thick, like four inches, uh, and diameter. It appeared to be one testicle as well. And just like, like just dried, dried elk or beef or some type of, maybe
Starting point is 00:49:02 more of like a venison type thing, cause it wasn't a lot of fat, but just very tough, but it's still moved. It was like flexible. Any fumes, any sense of what the taint was going to smell like at that moment. So not just no smell. No, it's like a perfect blocking of it. What, once you move it, what it does is it creates a vacuum and then when you pick up the causes this thing to happen where it creates the vacuum and
Starting point is 00:49:28 then once it releases, it puffs out like almost like a spore from a mushroom. You know, have you seen like the slow motion videos of the mushrooms pours ejecting? Yeah. It's like that basically. Got it. So it's a seal. It's a seal, but it also has like a blast assistant, like a, um, like a, uh,
Starting point is 00:49:46 what do you call it, a jellyfish. Do you think part of the reason that the mainstream scientific, uh, community, that the mainstream media that shifty shift, that the lying liberal lunatic mob that AOC and the, uh, demonic Democrats in Egypt kept you away from smelling King Tut's taint was because they felt humiliated and embarrassed to this entire time, their search through the pyramids, their search in the Sphinx, their search in the sands of Egypt for hidden knowledge had all been a waste of time. And that the wisdom of Egypt was always there in that taint.
Starting point is 00:50:37 Absolutely. They're just a bunch of tank crankers. They're a bunch of perineum pirates. They're just, uh, netherbethers. They're crank riders. They're a bunch of cusp lovers. And all of this, everything you said is totally correct. And, uh, you know, that's why I can't speak publicly in most states anymore is
Starting point is 00:50:57 boy, you just said, because they control all of that. Uh, well, this is to me the most horrifying thing about it, because if we're living in a world where intellectuals like you are being suppressed by shifty shift in the shift show and the lying liberal media mob by catalog carriers and these carpet bagging bum weathers, can you tell me a little bit about the encounter you had with shifty Adam shift in Egypt when he found out that you had gotten to smell the pharaoh's taint? Well, he was out there doing, doing a scrape test of the weather patterns just
Starting point is 00:51:40 so we could do some fucking bootlicking on old Jabba Jasson. And because I find these obvious guys to just be their, their tumble ducks. Yeah. Their wick weather, their wick weather tumble ducks who wouldn't recognize a frame center if they got caught in a down center on a, on a downpouring wick weather, pouring wick weather day. I mean, they're, they're, they're, they're shunting. Yep.
Starting point is 00:52:08 They're pulling off, uh, gunthouses and they all they're, they're eating Gorgon gunge all day, every day. Now, why does shifty Adam shift and the lying liberal media mob, the perpetrators of fake news, these people along with, why did they want to keep the world from smelling taints? They want to do that because they're just, you know what? They're jealous of the freedom. They, they hate our freedom.
Starting point is 00:52:41 They are, they want everything good for themselves. It's just a bunch of freedom haters who refuse to show their cards. They're playing a poker game and they won't show their cards. That's all we're asking. Just say, we just say, show your cards, show your cards and the lying liberal, um, media mob, the line, liberal, media mob, the LLMM. Now, I feel like we got off track here a little bit after this, after this commercial break, when we get back, I want you to tell me what it was like to
Starting point is 00:53:14 finally smell King Tut's taint. We're here with Johnny Pemberton, author of Taints of the Ancients. He is a Egyptologist, scientist, actor, comedian, and all around brilliant person who has been lambasted by the lying, the lying, liberal, media mob, an AOC and shifty Adam shift and the shift show. We will be right back after this. God bless the dear alchemist it feels, not just for sponsoring this episode of the DTFH, but for sending me the best CBD on earth.
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Starting point is 00:56:21 50% automatically taken off your first order with free shipping feels.com slash Duncan. Allow the liquefied healing glory of CBD. To fall upon your trembling tongue. Thank you. Feels and we're back. So there you are. You've pushed up the scrotum of King Ted. Talk about your descent into his taint.
Starting point is 00:56:53 Well, it's really hard to describe because the experience I had was something beyond description. It is. Have you seen the movie contact? Yes, I have. Very good. OK, remember how she goes up in that special space liberal space ball? Yeah, I remember that. All the liberal, the lying liberal media mob.
Starting point is 00:57:15 Me and my using all their communist funds that they stole from from like, you know, people like Eric early and and yep, and, you know, always good, hardworking. They still they took money off the backs of good, hardworking folk in America. They sure did. Good, hardworking people, you know, good, hardworking, really fat people who work really hard so they can be really, really fat and, you know, kind of stumble around on a. It's so interesting to me that in the elite lying liberal media mob, so excited about their bank account balances, simultaneously shame people because they have a caloric
Starting point is 00:57:53 balance being held in the bank account of their cellular tissue, which the lying liberal mob, shifty shift in the shift show, AOC and the liberal elites. The squad and the squad, as we started on the squad. Yeah, all of them lapping and drooling like dogs around the bowl at the thought of the Green New Deal, what I like to call the Green Doom deal. Well, they're just a bunch of lip lapping lap lockers. The lip lapping lap lockers, also known as the lying media mob, the frenetic frenzy led by people like AOC, Bernie Sanders, and all the other radical left, Antifa
Starting point is 00:58:45 loving, lying liberal media mob, the Antifa friendly fanatics that want George Soros, a.k.a. lying liberal, lackluster lap liquor, media mob man. Meanwhile, Donald Trump pushing back hard against this mob. Tell me, Johnny, do you think a time will come to this country where we can at last without being impended, impeded or embargoed by the Egyptian authorities? Will there come a time when we can freely smell mummified taints? Not just in Egypt, but the great mummified taints of the world. Reservoir of data of the ancients being kept to us by the lying liberal media mob.
Starting point is 00:59:43 Do you see a future where we will at last be able to smell those taints? You have 30 seconds before we have to cut to a break. Well, right now, I really am not sure because with this election coming up, there's just so much meddling going on by these dastardly lying liberal media mobbers that I wonder if it's going to be stolen. And if it is, I don't see there being another change for it. It's going to be there four years before we get a chance to actually uncover some truths here without it being spun and spanked away by these by these ancient
Starting point is 01:00:16 cragging, lying liberal communist. Phillyfals, we're going to cut to commercial and we come back live footage from Donald Trump at a Trump rally in Tennessee. I want to thank Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of the DTFH. Squarespace will give you everything you need to create a beautiful, powerful, stunning and potentially award-winning website. You know how I know that because my website has won for three years in a row. Now the Golden Utter Award.
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Starting point is 01:03:48 Let's listen to what the crowd has to say. Well, I just, I love being here. This is just something where, you know, you come out here and you can just feel the presence of everybody. You just know, you know that what's saying is being the truth. I just am freaking sick of all this crap. They're, they're trying to take the calories out of my bones, okay? The communists are going to take your shoes in the night.
Starting point is 01:04:13 Donald Trump has guaranteed me I'll have as many shoes as I want. And we're back with Johnny Pemberton. That was a cut to the Donald Trump rally in Tennessee. You have run into more problems than dealing with the Egyptian authorities when it comes to getting a chance to sniff that old taint. Talk a little bit about some of the traps you've encountered in the Mesopotamian pyramids, the Amazonian pyramids and the other ancient structures that you, Indiana Jones style, had the guts to go into.
Starting point is 01:04:45 You've encountered several traps. What do you think is the most deadly trap? Tell us about it. Well, there was one, the most, the worst trap was one I just didn't see coming at all. I was staying at a hostel in San Jose, Costa Rica. And I was staying on a different name, I was staying at the name Bill Jasson. With like Jackson. Is that your, is that a pseudonym that you use sometimes?
Starting point is 01:05:08 Well, I don't use it anymore. You'll never hear that again. Bill Jasson, it's like Jackson with S's. Bill Jasson. Got it, okay. And I was, there was a Scottish guy there named Peefrow. And he had a bunch of reggae records he had just got from Puerto Rico. And he was traveling, a lot of the Scottish guys, they travel a lot.
Starting point is 01:05:31 He was a traveling barber, actually. And he offered to cut my hair because that's how he makes his living, how he makes living traveling. Interesting. Sure, I'd love to have a haircut because, you know, the line liberal media won't open the salons up. So I can't. Shifty shift keeps them shut.
Starting point is 01:05:45 Yeah, shift shuts down the frickin' salon so I can't get my hairs cut. On my chinny chin chin or anything else. So I said, I'll let Peefrow give me a haircut. And he's like, so who do you want to put on his reggae records on? So I was like, yeah, sure, go ahead and put on a reggae record. Because I've actually was a big fan of reggae. My second wife banned me from reggae for about 10 years, which was hard for me. Red flag.
Starting point is 01:06:08 She said she would actually slice the tip of my dick off if I listened to reggae in front of her. That is a red flag. Yeah, it believed me. I didn't know that until we were married for a year. But I found out that she was a reggae apologist and she actually, while I was sleeping, she razored off the three layers of cells on the tip of my dick.
Starting point is 01:06:27 Circumcised you. No, not just the tip, like the tip where the hole is. Wow. Yeah, and it's OK. It's all chapped up. It's actually stronger now. Really strong penile tip now because of this. Did you lose any sensation?
Starting point is 01:06:40 Yeah, it's sort of like a callus, you could say. But it has a, you know, obviously I go pee out of it. But you know what? If Shifty Adams shift in the lying liberal media mob, the liberal elites, the technocrats have their way, then it will become legal for any wife to raise her off. And this is the thing that the thing they're arguing is not whether it's right or wrong. It's how many inches, millimeters, whatever you can, is it would be the right
Starting point is 01:07:11 appropriate amount to slice off of your husband's penis. I'm not just reggae to its country. If any music that a husband wants to listen to, the wife is allowed to punish the husband for listening to that music by taking a a millimeter slice of off the tip of the peen. And this is the only thing in between us, men of the world, and the very tips of our penis being sliced off by our wives for our music, musical tastes. I, you know, I listen to Disney, I love Disney.
Starting point is 01:07:41 I listen to Disney soundtracks and my wife has made the threat. Say goodbye to that. Say goodbye to Disney soundtracks. I will not stop listening. Well, if the lying liberal media mob has their way, your wife's going to be in there with a with a fresh razor issued by the government, issued by AOC. It's going to have the squads faces on the razor. And they're going to be laughing all the way to the bank as they collect
Starting point is 01:08:05 all these, these stem cells that are, everyone knows the greatest stem cells are on the penal tip. So, yeah, they're using it in the vaccine. You know, the, they've apparently scraped Bill Gates. They've scraped his, the tip and his net. And so if you, anybody who's getting the vaccine will be being injected with a slurry of Gates genitalia material. And that, you know, if you want to know to thank for that, it's Shifty Adam
Starting point is 01:08:34 shift. It's the lying liberal media mob. It's the elites and it's the folks who want you to be injected with these slurry genital apple sauce like pulp of Bill Gates's jewels and gems and nips. Yep. They used to call it a round wagon back in the day. The round wagon being the, the bowl, a bowl of all the, Right.
Starting point is 01:09:01 Because who wants a round wagon? You want a round wagon? You want a square wagon? Cause it's got a front and a back. Oh, but Shifty Adam should love all of us and the shift show and the sleepy Joe. Round, round wagon pirates, sleepy Joe. You've got a bunch of, you've got these people making custom ape tunnels with pirate ceilings and a bunch of mini bathrooms in their mansions on Ding Dong
Starting point is 01:09:30 wish, wish, wish Island. It's so fucking crazy to me to think that Shifty Adam shift, AOC, the Liling liberal elite media mob are shaving nip cells, shaving penile cells, slurifying them, pulpifying them around, wagging them and injecting them into our Children into our Children. They're forcing the Children to be a gendered. They're forcing them to saying you can't call yourself. My son, your day was forced to be non gender.
Starting point is 01:10:03 Meanwhile, sleepy Joe Biden, sleepy Joe in his basement lies in state practically while Shifty Adam, shift AOC, the lying liberal elite media mobs are injecting our Children with a pulpified genitalia of the technocratic elite. They're just, they're just showing them RuPaul on, you've seen that movie Clockwork Orange? That's what I feel like I'm living in right now. The scene where his eyes are open, except it's drag race on and I'm being filled fed a oat milk with a bunch of slices off, a penile tip slices
Starting point is 01:10:39 floating in the top of it. You know, I did an experiment, which I will be releasing on my obscure a patriota.com, which is my Patriot website. I had my wife put on a face mask on her, but on her. But on her, on her butter on her vagina on her butt. Okay. And I had her fart on me. Okay.
Starting point is 01:11:07 And I, and you can smell it. Yeah, come on. It amplifies the smell. Do face mask work? Do you wear underwear and have you smelled your own flatulence? And there's the answer. The CDC doesn't want you to know. Well, you know, the CDC, I call, I call it the center for dick control.
Starting point is 01:11:29 Dick control. Yeah. Cause they want to do slices off the tips. Now we veered off track again. I could talk about, I could talk with you for hours. I am a big fan of your work. Thanks. And I'm really excited for your upcoming book.
Starting point is 01:11:44 But we missed this story of that most dangerous trap. Okay. So, uh, Peef, Peef row is cutting my hair. Scottish guy Peef row. He, um, you know, he asked permission and I said yes. And I would agree to pay him. Cause again, I've been denied a haircut for about six months because of the Democrats.
Starting point is 01:12:05 And, uh, so, uh, we're in the hostel, it's just me and him. And he puts on these reggae 45s. I'm like, wow, this is just great. I haven't listened to this. And, um, and it just felt so good to listen to reggae, you know, guilt free. And, um, he relaxes me. He does like a, a cranial massage. He says it really opens up the follicles and lets them breathe.
Starting point is 01:12:27 Like a 45 minute cranial massage. I'm, uh, I have no shirt on. I'm just wearing like a, a draping of a, um, you know, a Muslim, a Muslim, not Muslim, Muslim cloth. Thank God. Cause that's what, that's what Peefrow said. I should be wearing cause it's the typical Scottish haircut thing. I guess, you know, I'm just, I'm just going by what he's saying at this point.
Starting point is 01:12:46 And, um, I'm in a very relaxed state. I'm having sort of a hyper dream about, um, my experiences in the past. And next thing I know, the reggae stops and I feel, um, a slice on the tip of my peen and, uh, Peefrow says, your wife says, hello, they got, they got to this. That's how they, they got to me all the way in, uh, in Costa Rica, they got to me. That's the reach of these bastards. And, but that now wounded for more, I don't know, how many times have you had this slice, this particular, I've had, I have a very long peen.
Starting point is 01:13:31 So it's okay for me, but I've lost a full inch all from micron, micron slices. But the thing is, how many, how many total slices? Oh, I don't know, a couple of thousand, a couple of thousands. I've lost count. I have lost count. But the thing is, uh, each time it's been allowed to regrow back. And so it's grown larger than it was before due to the callous nature of the peen tip. So actually I would say I'm fully insulated against this type of thing.
Starting point is 01:13:58 So essentially P-Fro just cut off a callous and I'm, I'm kind of back to square one now. So he kind of did me a favor. What'd you do though? Yeah, you've been betrayed at the deepest level, manipulated at the deepest level. Yeah, he's plugged into something you love so much. He got you hypnotized, said he's going to cut your hair. So he was able to get the straight razor out. Didn't seem weird to you.
Starting point is 01:14:19 What did you do? Did you fight him? Did you, did you call the police? Did you, oh, there's no law here. We're in a hostel. This is, uh, this is Costa Rica. There's nothing going on there. I just, uh, I defended myself and, um, I let him think that he won and he packed his
Starting point is 01:14:37 knives and, and goad. And then I just, um, you know, I nursed my womb, which didn't take that much because I'm so experienced in this. I just, that is to the group to me. There's something so sublime in that form of, of defeat that this, he, he, he, he skulks away, he thinks he's one. He sliced off a, you know, small amount of your penis, seemingly without repercussion. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:05 But you won the day. I won the day. And, uh, you know, I lived to tell the tale. Here we are today. Uh, they can't hold us down. That did not stop you from continuing into that Costa Rican pyramid. And I don't want to spoil it, but yeah, let's not spoil it. We've, we've, I've already talked about stuff.
Starting point is 01:15:21 I should have let people buy the book. It's not on Amazon. You can't get on an Amazon cause they've, they've banned it. Uh, you can get it. I, you can basically get it wherever you can watch. If you, it's, if you can, while fine, pandemic on internet. Yeah. I, my book is for sale on the same website.
Starting point is 01:15:38 It's, it's a, there's a hyperlink there. If you're listening, you got to support these people. Johnny is a patriot. Johnny is somebody who has fought back against the seep date and has moved mountains literally just to uncover the great secret of the data storage in the taints of the ancients. Johnny, I'm going to be honest with you. I don't know how much longer you're going to be able to be on this show.
Starting point is 01:16:14 I don't know how much longer you're going to be safe in the world. I understand. I know, I know that. And that's, that's part of my part of the life I live is, uh, every day could be the last. And so we just, we do the best we can and, uh, do the most we can. And we just, you know, stay away from the lying liberal media mob. And yeah, what can I say?
Starting point is 01:16:35 Tell me before you go. Yeah, Duncan, what taints are on your horizon? Well, uh, we got some information about a, uh, Siberian, um, Neanderthal that's been buried underneath Minsk, and we're going to get out there with the deep earth drill and check that out. I've got a, um, uh, funding situation set up there. There's also supposedly a really good one underneath the Great Salt Lake. Uh, that's going to involve some, uh, some diving, some, uh, class four, uh,
Starting point is 01:17:08 mixed air diving, which I'm assembling a team right now, uh, be surprised. But actually Vin Diesel is one of the people I've been working with. Actually, I believe it. Yeah. Another, uh, taint explorer. And let's wrap up on this. Okay. And you got this out in your book, but I think my audience deserves to hear it
Starting point is 01:17:28 because this is the kind of stuff that you're not going to hear when people have been shadow banned on Twitter, like Johnny here. Oh, it's bad. If you had to sum up what the taints of the ancients have to say, what message that they are sending to us from so far back in time, what would that be? Well, it's, it's complicated. What's the messiest thing I would say, you know, whatever you do, just don't believe what these people are telling you.
Starting point is 01:18:04 Right. That's the thing is you got to, you got to figure everything out on your own. If you think something, if you don't like something initially, if you're like, you know what, this whole mask thing is, yeah, it doesn't feel right to me. If you have like an inkling, like, you know, if you don't like a person, if you don't, if anything, just right away, you feel a certain thing that's the right feeling, listen to your instincts. I guess that's what the ancients teach us.
Starting point is 01:18:29 That's the, the message of the taint is listen to your intuition. It's, it's going to be right, way more right than the message of Shifty Shift, AOC, the lying liberal media mob and the, uh, technocratic elite want to send out there, which is their, their message is, Oh, this, uh, new thing that we call science, it's science. It's spelled wrong with the C. Why is there a C in there? It's Scott.
Starting point is 01:19:03 That's your first sign. Something's fucked up. It's scuttle comp. It should be science, S-I-E-N-C-E. Why do we need the C? It's science, not S-C-I-E. It's already built into the fucking word is the sign that the whole thing's off. It's scuttle comp.
Starting point is 01:19:19 It's brain, it's brain fog. Brain fog. It's Gumbelgac. It's cotton candy cooked up by Shifty Adam shift in his cuck circus that the lying liberal media mob brings to the small towns. They pitch their tents. It's a bunch of cuck candy is what it is. It's cuck candy.
Starting point is 01:19:40 Yeah. It's brain batter. It's all, it's all bubble bunk. And, and, and to me, that's what I love about your book is that, and we'll close on this, uh, it's a book that says, look, you're going to listen to a hundred year old Skyance, are you going to listen to the taints of the ancients? Are you going to listen to the message of this tiny acreage of purity that has been saved from the insanity of Bernie Sanders, crazy Bernie and sleepy Joe and
Starting point is 01:20:21 the lying liberal media mob? And let's close on this, Johnny. Can you do a recitation of the poem at the end of your beautiful book, Taints of the Ancients? Sure. I'll just, let me just bring that up. I don't have it to clean it to memory just yet. It starts with this sound here real quick.
Starting point is 01:20:41 Shackled to everything. Grown out of anything. We are born to a way sing. Drop a penny inside of a wagon ring. You are the thunder. You are the lightning. You are the wish. Keep on fighting.
Starting point is 01:21:18 Grab a piece of wood and make it into a splinter. Grab a piece of wood. It'll last the whole winter. It's all about surface area. If you fold a piece in half and twist it around, you create a road that you can run on forever. That was Johnny Pemberton, everybody. Please pick up a copy of his book.
Starting point is 01:21:49 Wherever Plandemic is available for download, you will find Taints of the Ancients. Johnny, where else can people find you? You can find me at TriggerNation.Stevia and you can find me at www.CompBusters.Left, which is sort of it. www.CompBusters.Left, encrypted. Don't forget to use Johnny's copyrighted freedom web browser. What's it called, Johnny?
Starting point is 01:22:16 You can also find me on twitch.tv slash justmynipples. Yeah, that's twitch.tv slash justmynipples. You can find me there. I do a legal broadcast about four times a week, so you can check that out. Check him out while you can. He's probably not going to be above ground, long. Probably going to have to hit the underground. Johnny, you are a true patriot.
Starting point is 01:22:43 You are a dear friend. I will always be here to protect you and thank you for sending your message and spreading your message out in the world. We need it so desperately here before the most important election in the history of Planet Earth. The history of time, history of time, so important, so important. Yeah, very important. Johnny, I'll be seeing you out there.
Starting point is 01:23:02 Keep smelling those taints. Don't let them stop you. That concludes the first part of this DTFH podcast with Johnny Pemberton. And now take your clothes off, lube yourself down, sit back next next to your window, open yourself up for a deepening as we dive into political conversation between two comedians. That's coming up right now. I wouldn't mind having like something I could post of us talking just for a little
Starting point is 01:23:37 bit for fun, you know, or I don't know, there's no pressure, obviously. No, man. No, I get it. It's kind of it's also just nice to fucking, you know, talk, hang out a little bit. Wait, you don't want to just improv with me for every time to make believe my brain's tired now. No, we've been what we've been doing is like this horrific. Have you heard the term doom scrolling? No, but I think let me let me guess what that is.
Starting point is 01:24:02 Is it where you just like are looking for negative stuff? Yeah, you're looking for horror. Oh, God. So what right now? And I don't know why we're doing it. There's this it's like a sickness that we both acknowledge. After we put the baby to bed, we put on Tucker Carlson. Tucker Carlson leads into Hannity.
Starting point is 01:24:24 And then after that, we watched Dateline. So like, wow, it's really dark and it's addictive. But it's like it, but we're fully like in growth. It's like huffing glue and like it's the funniest shit. When like whenever Tucker passes the mic to Hannity, they have to have this weird acknowledgement of each other. You know what I mean? Like Hannity is the big daddy.
Starting point is 01:24:49 Tucker is a little dick, the cub. You know what I mean? And so Hannity always be like, great show is always tuck. I'm so sick and Tucker Carlson is literally Tucker Carlson. There has never been a more joyful bootlicker in like the history of bootlickers. Like Tucker Carlson, he is a statist bootlicker. And like what's fucking up about him is that you get this sense that underneath it, he's just like an entertainer.
Starting point is 01:25:25 He's like, you know what I mean? He would be fun like Tucker Carlson would be a fun person to go to the beach with. I think a lot of those people are actually. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of them are like, if you met him, I bet if you met Kellyanne Conway, you'd be like, man, this bitch is fucking fun. We're having a good time at this bar because Kellyanne's here. You know, there's people like that.
Starting point is 01:25:44 Or even though they seem terrible, like if you met them on a purely personal level, they would just be a riot. Yeah, it's so weird. It's like, yeah, I'm sure like if like you were able to like personify like a syphilitic virus, it would also be like, yeah, man, I love it. I love fucking. I just love living in calm. I love living in juice.
Starting point is 01:26:09 But like the the you know, the but it's it's what's interesting about Tucker and Hannity is like, how often do you really get to watch state propaganda, like North Korean level propaganda? Like, oh, yeah. I mean, that's what's cool about it because I'm not going to learn Korean. It's not going to happen. So I don't get or Chinese. I don't get to watch Chinese state propaganda.
Starting point is 01:26:36 So turning on Fox News and watching US state propaganda being sort of output through this like hypnotic like chain of like weird conservative dudes. It's really addictively fun because it's like no matter what like Trump, no matter what he does, like they know they're both smart. They're journalists. They're both smart enough to know Trump's an an a mad man, like a lunatic. Yeah, but he's an egomanian and they have to twist it to somehow fit into that everything he's doing, he's doing being like great.
Starting point is 01:27:13 That's what I love. I love watching the way whatever Trump does like a fuck like he could like during a rally could like reach into his pants, pull a bat out of his ass. Ozzy Osbourne, the bats head of it, pour blood all over him, throw the bat into the crowd. The crowd would like rip the bat apart and like eat it and rub it. And Hannity and Tucker would be like the you know, the lying liberal media mob would love to portray what Donald Trump and his the people wanting to vote for him who came to that rally, who risked their lives
Starting point is 01:27:47 to come to that rally, who got babysitters for their family to come to that rally to celebrate American freedom. The lying liberal media mob would love to make what has happened there seem like something in a terrible cult. And then they'll like show like just people maybe saying normal shit like I've never seen a more fucked up thing. He reached into his pants and pulled out a bat and bit its head off and blood sprayed all over the crowd and then the crowd ripped the bat apart.
Starting point is 01:28:15 And then cut to Hannity. There you go. Trump derangement syndrome, another snowflake liberal freaked out by simply having fun at a show and you're like, what the fuck? It's like you can't it's incredible that they they keep distorting reality trying to make it seem normal. It's happening on both sides, though. It's happening so much where all you see is people saying, oh, what if?
Starting point is 01:28:40 Imagine if Obama did this? And it's always like and then the other side says, imagine if it's like they there's no one there's no universal standard. You saw that you just see that movie this what's it called the social dilemma? I haven't seen it yet. Aaron was making fun of it, though. She was saying it's a movie where apparently in it, it's like, guess what? They're what they're watching you.
Starting point is 01:29:03 It's like, no shit. We all know that. A lot of it's like no no shit, man. But at the same time, it's a lot of it's this thing where you realize that this is crazy thing that's happening now where people hate each other so much that it's this is it's never a modern modern history. It's never things have never been this divided among people who live in the
Starting point is 01:29:25 same country, right? Like we all have like this like innate. I mean, not all of us, but most people just like have so much distaste for those who disagree with them. It's really crazy how like the degree with which that that goes on that it's like. I just make it makes me I hate it because I find myself feeling that way sometimes, too, and it's just so ridiculous because you have like like if my if I have a neighbor who is like a hardcore Trumper,
Starting point is 01:29:54 they're still my neighbor, you know, he's still so the person who we have more mutual interests than almost anyone alive because we live in the same physical space. I know, man. Yeah. It's like it's absurd that anyone would be like at at odds with someone. Well, that is the hysteria, right? Because the hysteria, though, like if you look at like the classic leftist liberal reaction, a reactionary leftist, they're they're just as nasty as the is the radical side of that.
Starting point is 01:30:27 But I think it's worse, really, because the left the left side, at least at least the right people, people who are on the the right now are more like, oh, hey, man, you know, it's it's kind of like that good old boy mentality where it's like, hey, man, I don't agree with you, but I'll fucking I'll pull your car. Here's my father. OK, the other day I was driving. I had to go pick up some t-shirts down in Long Beach at the printer.
Starting point is 01:30:51 Yeah. And I was like, oh, I'm down by the beach. I'm going to go drive by the beach real quick, right? And it's a hot fucking day. I was like 100 degrees. So I'm like, oh, go to the beach where it's 90, you know. And I get down there and my car starts doing something weird. You know, that old the old Mercedes, where, you know, it's fucking. I shouldn't have a car.
Starting point is 01:31:11 Yeah. What is it? Like runs on a it runs these diesel car. But, you know, it's got like it's just tonight. It's a 30 year old car. So it has like some weird shit going on with the electric. So I thought it was it was still running fine. I parked the car. I walked to the beach for like 10 minutes.
Starting point is 01:31:32 OK, that's cool. Go back to my car. It won't start. I'm like, oh, shit, what's going on here? And I was thinking like the battery is dead or something, right? And so I was like, it's hot as fuck. I have to get someone to jump me. I saw some dude in a truck drive by with a massive trump flag coming out like
Starting point is 01:31:49 something like, you know, tattooed electrician dude, you know, like almost California, San Diego, Bro Bro's. Yeah, he was going to his buddy's house right across the street from where I was parked and there was like three of these dudes, you know, all wearing like like those California chopper sunglasses and all like tanned all red as hell. White dudes. And I'm thinking this is the person who's going to give me a jump. Yes.
Starting point is 01:32:16 It's not I'm not going to flag down someone in a fucking Mercedes SUV. They're not going to fucking stop or give me a jump. Right. It's this guy, this Trumper, with driving a fucking F 150 for his electrical job. Yeah. And I asked the guys like, hey, they're they're like, you know, it's Friday. They're they're already cracking beers and stuff. It's like, hey, when do you guys give me a jump?
Starting point is 01:32:38 You know, no rush or anything. They fucking did it, you know? Yeah, like I could probably have like a fucking Biden t-shirt on. They would still they might give me some hell, but they're probably not going to fucking deny me that. And that's the thing I was thinking about is like, as much as I disagree with those guys politically, when it came down to it, that's the people who I knew would probably help
Starting point is 01:33:01 give me a jump before anyone else. Right. Yeah, man. I mean, that's like even that you're not supposed to say what you just said. You're not supposed to say that I know you're not supposed to say it, but it's the the the so the idea that these people have is insane, which is alienation is the answer. Like so the best way to deal with these people who have views of the world that are completely as far as I'm concerned in general,
Starting point is 01:33:31 like if you're like sort of flying in the face of science, if you're disregarding what not I'm not saying like one scientist says, but if you're disregarding like what a consensus of global scientists says, yeah, then an idiot, not only are you an idiot, you're like, it's worse than being an idiot. You're a squanderer. You're you've this. Here's this beautiful distillation hundreds of years, lifetimes dedicated to this way of pursuing truth.
Starting point is 01:33:59 And you are shoving it to the side and in place of it, you're putting your own intuition, which we all know, unless you're a historic, that this is the root of every single inhumanity, every single fucked up thing is always based on like, well, you know, I know what they're saying, but I think I'm right. And so yeah, but regardless of ignorance, alienating them is not the answer.
Starting point is 01:34:23 And this is the this is the stupid idea of all these fucks is like these censoring shits think that you're going to be able to push these people. You want them to interact with rationality to get the spark to like get the liberation. It sucks to be superstitious. Being superstitious is hell. It's the worst thing you think you're in control, but you're not. You see a cat. You think that means you're you're going to have diarrhea or whatever. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's hell.
Starting point is 01:34:53 And it's absurdity. It's like you're creating a prison in your own mind of the world. So decided like these all these things are affecting you when they're not at all affecting you. Right. That's the problem. And fucking alienating the superstitious people is so insane. And also it's like, fuck, you know, in general, because somebody has horrible ideas, like if you really are altruistic and compassionate, you want to find the bridge,
Starting point is 01:35:19 you want to find the connective tissue, you want to find like, you know, take like any, an average like pro-lifer or anti-life, anti-abortion person. Right. Right to life. Right to life. Take that person. They're passionate. What are they passionate about? They've identified the sanctity, the precious quality, the beauty of existence. So in that moment, now the way they have identified it flies in the face of what a lot of other people think life where life is.
Starting point is 01:35:54 But yeah, if you remove the abortion part and just realize like, here's a thing that is like in that little bit of humanness, you have compassion for the helpless. You have all the liberal ideals being manifested. Good. It's a good. It's a good. Yeah, it's a nightly good. It's in that to me is that that's a place that everyone connects is like unless you're a truly dog shit, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:36:22 Everyone connects in the point of like, you know, kids deserve a good childhood. Yeah. Only a dog shit person is like, no, man, fuck kids, this torch room or something. That's a shit at right wing, left wing, centrists all come together in that place of like, yeah, kids should be allowed to have a great childhood. That seems to be a universal. That's why I brought that whole documentary is because like the idea, the main idea behind it was they kind of like bury the lead.
Starting point is 01:36:51 The thing is they totally bury the lead in that thing because it's like anything. It's a fucking piece of media. It's supposed to be watchable and shareable, not necessarily like a book where it's really informative, but the idea is that both sides are profiting off the division because that's what that's the most profitable thing is when there's like when there's division and when there's conjecture, because they talk about how the most profitable media is all the stuff that's not real, all the fake shit like like flat earth is an advertising dream.
Starting point is 01:37:26 Because what people click on it like a motherfucker, they're able to sell more ads at a higher value for media that they know is empirically false. Because the wormhole that you go down when you're investigating something that is empirically false, it doesn't have a bottom because it's not based in anything true. So you just fucking keep clicking and clicking and clicking. Yeah. And it creates so much more revenue for the places that are they're dispensing the media that they're incentivized to promote things that are they know are empirically false.
Starting point is 01:38:03 So it's this crazy thing where they're like they're profiting off of the very thing that is causing all these problems. Right. It makes me think about like, OK, people talk about all this stuff like, oh, you know, like, oh, don't look at the suggested thing or don't try to like take a diet from it. But when reality all that all that you can really ever totally do is just if you refuse to participate, if you fully drop out, that's the only truly actual
Starting point is 01:38:34 solution to it, because it's otherwise it's like it's like I have a credit card, right? And I play the credit card game. I don't get charged fees. I use I make the credit card work for me, right? But I'm like I'm in the rarity. Most people credit card companies are extremely wealthy because most people because they're humans aren't good at following these up these fucking absurd laws that they created to enforce that.
Starting point is 01:39:00 So it's like this thing where the only true way you can fucking actually get around that stuff is to is to like drop out. And it feels like right now we're at the head or coming to the head of where people can only handle so much conjecture in their lives to the point where they should be like, like they're just going to give up and be either give up in a bad sense or give up in a good sense. We're like, I'm just not going to. It's it's too much stress and effort to feel this way about other people.
Starting point is 01:39:32 I'm just going to be like, I don't really care what anyone thinks, because like to where we're living apolitically, I feel like that's that's the only actual solution in the world is is for us for people to become apolitical. Dude, this is this is the whenever I go on a hike when I got here, you can go on real hikes, you know, not the LA hike where you're like in line with 19 people to like send some dirt hill or something like this, you vanish into the woods. And whenever I'm out there, you know, within a 20 minutes, all that shit. Oh, it's gone melts is just absorbed into the into that.
Starting point is 01:40:13 And then so then lately, what I've been thinking is like, oh, this is the multi, this is the alternate reality. Like this is a completely different place with completely different politics and complete a completely different philosophy that you can go into and you can disappear. Like there's still parts of the world where you could just go in there and disappear, people go in there and disappear. And it feels great. And you hear it all the time.
Starting point is 01:40:44 I love my favorite conspiracy theory is the people who disappear in national forests. That's a big thing. People just disappear out there. And worldlings are like, oh, they've been murdered or something. But it's like, I don't know if that's what's happening. I think some people just it's they're like they're like domesticated animals that decide to leave the yard. Right. And then they stay out of the yard and then they become feral.
Starting point is 01:41:17 I think probably in the national forests, there are countless humans who just were like, you know, I don't think I'm going back there and just went deep in there and maybe met other feral humans. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a whole secret indigenous community of feral humans living in the national forests that are kind of connected to the grid. They come down and get food every once in a while.
Starting point is 01:41:46 You know, they're not invisible, but they're definitely not like what we are. Glued and plugged into the fucking thing. Yeah. Trimbling at every weird current that comes flowing by. And you know what I mean? Like the fucking what are the prairie dogs? You know what I think they're just like out there and they look at us like a dream. Like they know we're there and they feel sorry for us.
Starting point is 01:42:16 But they do think it definitely is. It's feeling sorry because it's like to be plugged into everything all the time. It's such a it's so it's such a like a like you're be like burdened with it. It's like you be you're burdened with all this stuff. That's what more increasingly to me feels like it's like it's like being burdened with like the whole like everyone making so much so much to do about this election. It's like, you know what's crazy thing you can't really say.
Starting point is 01:42:46 What is like I don't care. It doesn't matter that much. Did you imagine saying that that hits everyone the wrong way? You can't do that. The apathy. That's apathy. You can't do that. But I really think it's like it doesn't matter that much.
Starting point is 01:42:59 You know what I mean? Like it does, but it's it's it's really just like a fucking look. I'm not going to privilege shame you. But I did just interview this Sharon Salisbury because it's brilliant. And and she was saying, you know what? The thing is, though, the reason it doesn't matter to you that much is because you're doing great. And like, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:43:18 Yeah, if you don't care about the election because like there are for sure real, I mean, I'm not trying to shame you because I really I have thought the identical thing and I've been like sort of I agree with you. I do agree with you. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I know you mean, though, from a from an absolutist perspective. Like they just story pops up on the internet. Somehow they got lucky enough with telescopes to pick up a star being eaten
Starting point is 01:43:46 by a black hole, a star the same size as our star falling into and being spaghettified by a thing so dense, it's eating light. It ain't our son, our precious son that shine down on Jesus. Socrates, Aristotle, Mother Teresa. It's gone just just eaten by a fucking black hole. And so from that perspective, this election is as meaningless as meaningless can be. And even maybe from the perspective of centuries or thousands of years,
Starting point is 01:44:22 it's like, who gives a fuck? Yeah, I don't even mean that, though. I don't even mean it from a causal perspective. I mean, in terms of obviously the election is important, but all you can do is vote, right? You can vote. I guess if you want to, you can also campaign like crazy and do that stuff. But essentially the actual action of participation is seconds.
Starting point is 01:44:42 You do you vote and but there's so much conjecture and like noise and arguing around this simple act that happens effortlessly that it's like, to me, it speaks to just the fact that like human life is so easy, right? Like we're all very privileged in some sense. Sure, because of how easy I was thinking about, you know, that guy, James A Garfield, who's a former president. He was assassinated.
Starting point is 01:45:14 He has just he has just quote an ounce of pluck is worth a ton of luck. I was just to carry that around. That's kind of what you call it, like a tea bag had tea bag. They had like a little little tab on the tea bag. I had a quote on that. I always think about that, you know, because like pluck is what I had to look up that word, but pluck is like, you know, it's like having like tenacity.
Starting point is 01:45:39 It's like being a being a bastard, like yeah, being determined. Yeah. And how like that is worth more than a little bit of determination is worth way more than sure luck. Yeah, man. It's and you think about like, you know, a hundred years ago, you and I would both know five or six people who's who two of their children died before they were 10. Right. There's just like all this stuff that like there's so much.
Starting point is 01:46:04 There's we don't we don't have like any kind of serious grieving in our lives anymore. You know, it used to be a thing where it was really, really hard to live. Like the chances of dying of a disease is it was common. Well, that that is the to me that is actually the bubble we live in. Like you and I, we live in a fucking bubble. Like I and then people hear about my life or maybe your life or people hear
Starting point is 01:46:29 like both my parents are dead. I got my ball chopped off into them. It's like, holy fuck, that sounds intense. That's a lot. It's not. It's nothing to me. It's to be it's nothing. But that being said, like, you know, Aaron knows someone who's fucking husband died of this goddamn COVID,
Starting point is 01:46:45 got his legs cut off, had to get put on a ventilator. And like, you know what I mean? And like that, that to me, that I don't give a fuck about I really I'm voting for Joe Biden and I'm not voting for him because I want to. I'm voting because it's a goddamn binary. And because like the other option is like dancing to YMCA at these rallies when like people's husbands are getting their legs cut off. It's like this should be a solemn time.
Starting point is 01:47:16 Like, yeah, you know what I mean? It's OK to be chipper and upbeat and to be to like as a leader, you should put out there, we are going to get through this. We can't we will like this will be in our past at some point. That's my cancer doctor used to say that to me. And it was very sweet, but he wasn't like, listen, Duncan, don't let this testicular cancer take over your life. Go and have a good time.
Starting point is 01:47:40 He was like, you got fucking you have cancer. It's serious. And you're for a year, your life is going to be different. But he also said. At some point, this is going to be in your rear view mirror. And it won't be as big as it is right now, but you got to do this first. That's a leader. That's what you're supposed to.
Starting point is 01:48:00 But not this thing of like, I don't know. Oh, man, man, I don't know because it's like motherfucker. You have got like it's like there's a great PBS documentary on Alex Jones and it. Well, I got a what? What's it called? I got to watch this just look up PBS Alex Jones. It's like, for Alex Jones, it's got to be a dream come true. I'm sure he loves the documentary because they really came at it.
Starting point is 01:48:24 But the in it. Because of his fucking psychotic shit about Sandy Hook, some schizophrenic started stalking the parent of one of these kids who was murdered at Sandy Hook, this parent had to go into hiding because like so many people from Alex Jones were saying, oh, that's a fucking crisis actor. Right. Yeah. And yeah, they get confused because they're mentally ill. Right. And so when you have like someone like Trump
Starting point is 01:48:56 putting out mixed signals about everything, all the mentally ill people in the world, they like they don't know how to process that shit. And now suddenly you've got people in CVS slapping people for telling them to wear a mask. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So like, yeah, it's insanity. And so to me, that that that's the place where it's like, motherfucker, like I don't care if my stupid vote is some impotent gesture in the wind. I want to make that gesture.
Starting point is 01:49:28 You know why? Because like I just want bullies like him. I don't want that. You know, remember when Bush was president? And that was a time like anytime there's a dumb, seemingly dumb president, dumbness becomes like a like that becomes a thing. Just yeah. People start exhibiting dumbness because like the dumbest people imitate leaders.
Starting point is 01:49:53 You know what I mean? Like that he's not doing it. So I guess I'd be the same way. I'll be dumb and obnoxious because he's dumb and obnoxious. He got to be president. So all I got to do is be dumb and obnoxious long enough. I'll become president. You know, it's like that kind of shit.
Starting point is 01:50:07 It's like this is like what a great person does. Others will follow. And so president is great. The title is great. Trump, I don't care if you if he's the biggest, most obnoxious piece of shit on earth, which I think he is, he's a great person. He's a big, massive personality that ascended to the peak of power on the planet and his hypnotized masses of people with this kind of pro wrestling persona.
Starting point is 01:50:33 He's a great person, not a good person, but he's legendary. And he will be remembered as one of the Mad Kings, one of the most famous Mad Kings in recorded history. So, you know what I mean? But but it's like, fuck, give me stuttering, sleepy, boring. Give me boring. That's what our government is supposed to be boring. The president has got a boring ass job.
Starting point is 01:50:58 It's all boring and dumb and you don't want to hear speeches. That's what I want. I want a boring speech from a boring dullard. That's Biden. That's why I'm going to vote for him. But fuck, man, it's all that stuff completely. I think the thing I was thinking about is the idea that, OK, let's just say Trump does get reelected.
Starting point is 01:51:21 I think you have to deal with it the same way. You have with your cancer or anything else where it's like, OK, so this is a thing that is heavy and oppressive, and it's like it's toxic and it feels bad. But what can you do except just fucking soldier on? You have to be plucky. You can't count on on like the fates to blow the right winds. You have to be a fucking motherfucker to be a bastard. And just it's like if you if you're a deer and your leg,
Starting point is 01:51:55 if if a if a white tailed deer is hit by a car and its leg is broken, that deer will know it's fucking a leg off and stay alive for years. I got you. I got you. I got you. That kind of thing is to me. It's like there's a lot of people who are just want to like fucking give up and be like, oh, no, no, no, it's like, motherfucker. Yeah, like we're all the products of people who are who made it through like the West, people who didn't get shot by.
Starting point is 01:52:23 Yeah. Like there's just people. So fucking tough, but they act like they're not. And I guess what bothers me is when people act like they're being imposed upon and they're especially like, you know, middle class white people act like they're being imposed upon, like they have no agency when you have so much. We have so much agency. And one of those things I think
Starting point is 01:52:46 points of agency is fucking voting and then like checking the fuck out and working on stuff that's I mean, it's important to you and being like a being a motherfucker. I got you. Just kicking ass like a fucking drunken redneck. Fuck. Yeah, I got you. Yeah, it's statism. It's like if your religion is the state, which is what the state always wants, like the state wants the people to worship the state.
Starting point is 01:53:11 The state, the more the people think the state is important, the more important it becomes, the more important it becomes, the more powerful it becomes, the more powerful it becomes, the more moves towards fascism, regardless of whatever the particular ideology of those in power is. And so in that way, it's this kind of horror, a potential hurricane. It's like when you're watching the weather and it's like, oh fuck, it looks like the wind's moving in a way that could be a tornado, tornado alert.
Starting point is 01:53:40 Similarly, if too many people become either dependent on the state as the metric for their own personal success and freedom or antithetical state as the metric for everything that's going wrong, it's two different forms of devotion, devotion nonetheless. And in that devotion, you produce the conditions that can create true tyranny. So I know I hear what you're saying, which is like the state is there. It's real. I'm not saying it isn't, but you must be more powerful than that. Because no, it's like, you know, it all boils down to by the time the cops get
Starting point is 01:54:19 there. I think we've talked about this before. By the time the cops get there, they're just there to mop up the blood. Yeah, they're just clean up. There's a cleanup crew. That's all it is. Yeah, that's it. That's it. You say that it's a cleanup crew. What are you going to do? You're going to depend on the cops to come and take care of you? Like they don't, they show up late.
Starting point is 01:54:36 They're not going to do shit. They're not going to do shit. They're not going to shit. How rare is it that the cops come and save someone from being murdered? It's always after someone's been murdered that you hear the 911 call. It's always after someone's been murdered that the cops show up. Never, never, never saving the day. And yeah, this is what we think about the state.
Starting point is 01:54:57 You know that they're going to come. They're not going to come. They're not going to help you like they're not. There's nothing that's going to happen. And if it does happen, it'll be fucked up. Because you have to be like you're like people. I think a lot of people feel like they're owed something or they're less. It happens on both sides.
Starting point is 01:55:14 Happens everywhere. People feel like they deserve something or they're owed a thing or they're entitled to something when I feel like you're not. People aren't entitled to anything at all. It's like when you're talking about like, you know, people were like, oh, that's all you had. This terrible things happened to you. It must be so bad.
Starting point is 01:55:31 Like when people feel like if I tell someone about my bowel illness and they express any kind of sympathy, I'm just like, stop, I stop. No, there's nothing. Why would you have sympathy here? It's great. Everything's great. What are you talking about? Like I'm I'm fucking fine.
Starting point is 01:55:48 I'm actually better because of it. Like no one nobody. Well, I think about like your average person in a wheelchair. Like, sure, they would love a wheelchair ramp. But I mean, that's a person who's experienced such extreme difficulty. They're fucking tough as shit. I just think the idea that is not so much like dependence on the state. But this is why organization is like one thing.
Starting point is 01:56:17 The other thing I love about watching Hannity and Tucker is like hearing what they're against and realizing everything they don't like is good. Right. So in other words, like, well, I don't watch unions. Unions. Oh, yeah, you know what I mean? Like that, like that, that that's a form of socialism.
Starting point is 01:56:36 Workers organizing is, you know, it's maybe not the best thing. And clearly workers organizing is the best thing. Any place that you go where there's a fucking union, those workers are getting paid what they should get paid generally. They're getting health care that they should be getting. And the reason they're getting it is not because the industry that they organized within was like, why don't y'all, you know, get together? Let me know what I could do better as the person who's getting like so much money
Starting point is 01:57:09 from your labor and then I'll do that. Just I just don't have time to like talk to you all individually. So just get together, sort of form like a union. And then let me know what I can do for you. And then I'll do that just because I'm clearly making exponentially more money than you are from from the same amount of time that you're laboring. And it's it's because people get together in secret. And the history of it is they get the shit kicked out of them.
Starting point is 01:57:33 Anytime miners, you know, there's like literally people have been blown up, shot because they're like, don't let them organize. And so I know, so to me, it's like, yes, to individual liberty, yes, to individual autonomy, yes, to radical self-reliance. And then also a group of radically self-reliant people who are joining together to then push the cog, the wheel of government to drive the ship. That becomes a true democracy, which we don't have right now. Instead of a corporateocracy and oligarchy or whatever the fuck it is.
Starting point is 01:58:08 You know what I mean? That's which is why I do feel a political these days. Like, fuck, let's organize. Let's get these motherfuckers out. Lindsey Graham is like eating shit right now. Let's get these. It's the most beautiful thing to hear. Lindsey Graham, I'm sorry to get political, everybody.
Starting point is 01:58:24 I am a little begging for money. Oh, they're eating my asshole. They're scramble my eggs over here. They do this like a sparrow in a hedgehog patch over here. I don't know what to do. Yo, they all they're giving their eat me alive. It's the best thing to watch. They hate me.
Starting point is 01:58:41 They hate me. Yeah, you fucking bullicking fucking smarmy. God damn mediocre. Can't you fucking like boss hog, old school, southern, like shit, corrupt, sheriff, piece of shit. There would be the bad lawyer on malloc. They do hate you because you suck. You kiss up to anyone who the president is you fucking changer.
Starting point is 01:59:02 Ah, he's the worst. Well, it's a bunch of like spineless mother. It's much of a spineless people. It's a bunch of people who are like doughy and haven't had any like real difficulties. I mean, that's the interesting thing is there's so many people who I like a lot who I'm like, oh, that person's experience, severe tragedy in their life. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:59:23 And that's probably why they're so great is because it's like, you know, like Stephen Colbert, right? Half his family died in a fucking plane accident when he was like 12. I didn't know that. Like all this crazy shit he's like fucking insane amount of personal family tragedy, but you get through that and that makes it steals you against bullshit in a way that you can't you can't like that just it's so what's the word? It's priceless.
Starting point is 01:59:49 It's like a priceless experience that so many of these people who are like backing Trump and whatnot just feel like a bunch of people who are they're just they're soft, right? They're fucking softies, but they think they're not softies. They're like masquerading as tough guys. Oh, actually, they're fucking like a fucking cancer kid could kick the shit out. Dude, that when you like that, that's my like we of all like I I just instaban like so what so what happens is on Twitter, someone will come at me and usually
Starting point is 02:00:27 it'll be like, you know, you're just a true douchebag and then I'll be like, all right, let's look at their timeline. You go to the timeline and inevitably all it is is retweets of Trump and it goes back and back and back and you're like, wait, either you're the craziest son of a bitch that ever lived in the sense that all you're doing is waiting for the president to tweet and then retweeting it, which is weird anyway, or you're like a bot and you're just like like I've been assigned as like someone who is a antithetical to like whatever the particular
Starting point is 02:01:05 PR campaign you're running is, but either one is bizarre. But aside from the bots, the really particularly vile, sizzling shit, shit stew that has emerged from this particular presidency is the pseudo intellectual Trump supporters who have also managed to mix in to their ideology, a little bit of chaos magic. So so like wrapped up in this like nonsense, bullshit stuff, masquerading. Here's the worst part of it all. It's pretending to be punk rock.
Starting point is 02:01:41 Oh, yeah, it's ridiculous. That's the part that's so fucked up about it. Yeah, it's because I think it's all because Trump, when he first came around, he tricked everybody. I mean, it's kind of not really a trick is he was he didn't play by the rules and he was sort of a bastard. Yeah, he was he was a punk. He was a punk to all these other career politicians.
Starting point is 02:02:04 And people saw that and they're like, because we all hate these career politicians so much that when someone is the classic, my enemy's enemy is my friend type of thing. And next thing you know, I guess my enemy's enemy is not my friend. He's actually just a greater enemy. Yeah, who I thought was on my side. It's actually just some sort of force of nature coming from a different planet that's that seems like it's human.
Starting point is 02:02:32 But really, it's just trashing everything. And we think that like, oh, because it's trashing something I don't like, that means that they're they have my interest in mine. Yeah, it's like you there. You cannot consider yourself punk rock and like have the level of sycophantic attachment to a American president. Like, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 02:02:58 It's like you're like that it will never be cool. That has never been cool. That is always at the very least a sign of your abject laziness. It's like that when people come at me about like saying shit about Trump, it's like, motherfucker, I have made fun of every president and I will make fun of every president because it is an embarrassing job. They all lie. They're all ridiculous.
Starting point is 02:03:27 They're all completely an embarrassment and a sign of an antiquated way of running a thing. But you think that like what you think I just started saying shitty things about presidents, that's always the angle is like, oh, yeah, Obama. No shit, Obama sucked. You dumb fuck. I knew that. Everyone knew that. No one like Clinton, no one like Bush, no one like Bush Jr.
Starting point is 02:03:49 We've always looked at it and been like, this sucks. And so does your stupid fucking Trump. You dumb shit. And it's like you to me to watch people who, by the way, actually, some of them do have some pretty like great intellects. You know, they at least very least they've had the discipline to study fundamentals of philosophy or something. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 02:04:10 They have some general sense of like how to argue. But but to watch people like that get fucking just suctioned up into the in into like a PR campaign. You know what I mean? It's like, dude, I if Kamala Harris says she's going to decriminalize weed, I'll say I'll serve you Kamala Harris. I don't mean it, but I'm just saying that because it's like I want to point out they're going to decriminalize weed.
Starting point is 02:04:34 If they decriminalize weed, they're going to decriminalize other psychedelics. That will lead to my dream of a psychedelic renaissance. So I'm going to support that. But Kamala Harris, give me a fucking break. That smirking fucking how many people is she put in jail? No shit. People when I tweet that be like, do you know how many people she's put in jail? No shit.
Starting point is 02:04:53 But she just said she's going to decriminalize weed, which means people will not be put in jail anymore. That's who I'm going to support as opposed to this motherfucker who's like they're not. You don't hear Trump saying I'm going to legalize weed. That's all he has to do. Just say that. Say anyway, anyway, I'm sorry, man. I'm watching too much Hannity.
Starting point is 02:05:11 Yeah, this is my fault. Everyone listening, my profound apologies for going on a political rant. You know, I try not to do this. It's necessary. I think it's just it's necessary because it's like that's what so many people think. I was listening to this Chris Chris Chris Christopherson song today and he said something that made me think about what you were saying about this people who retweet.
Starting point is 02:05:33 I think he said you can't write a song if you have nothing to say. And it's like the thing where you think about so many of these people on Twitter and if that represents like other things, which I guess it does represent, it's a microcosm of some sort, people who are just retweeting stuff. It's because they don't have the balls to say something on their own because they are scared to say, you know, they have nothing to say, got nothing to say. So if you have nothing to say, that's authentically yours. If you don't have a story to tell that's that's that's your story, your thing to say.
Starting point is 02:06:10 It's I mean, everyone does. But most people are just scared or scared to do that because it's very scary to to talk about who you are and the truth of your life and everything. It's like fucking terrifying. So it's like that's why these people are just people. Some people just puppet stuff as opposed to because there's people are scared to be their own thing because it though because you can you can trash someone for it. But like, oh, your song sucks.
Starting point is 02:06:39 It's like, well, right, you know, I don't care what you think. What is it an ounce of what pluck? An ounce of pluck is worth a ton of luck. That's it. Yeah, you get a fuck about that. The whole thing is like, look, yeah, you go like when I was younger, I would free roast anything, any song, any whatever you free, free roast, you know, like you hear like a song from Britney Spears. Right. Roll them eyes and be like, oh,
Starting point is 02:07:07 Britney Spears, this song is only fucking normies like this shit. Right. Meanwhile, what the fuck are you putting out, man? Like, what about what have you done? What have you written? You try dancing like that person does for five minutes and you will have a heart attack, I guarantee it. You know, I would, you know, you try to do any of the acrobatic shit they do while singing and I would I know that I would like it would be like, you know,
Starting point is 02:07:33 like when when like an aunt that got burnt by a matchstick, I would just crumble and like curl up, you know what I mean? But but yeah, so yeah, man, that's the other thing is like this. The people it's like, well, stop regurgitating. Yeah, we're just so people are so critical. I mean, I get that way. I find myself like stuck in this thing. Like, what's wrong with my fucking brain right now?
Starting point is 02:07:56 I'm thinking too much about critiquing everything. It's like, oh, it's because I'm not doing anything. Yeah, not making me do anything. Then I just go into this fucking terrible zone of of critiquing and stuff. Obviously, there's some people out there who are great career critics. But you think of someone like Roger Ebert, who was a great critic. That guy like he liked all kinds of stuff. Although those guys are like a good critic is someone who doesn't say everything's
Starting point is 02:08:25 bad, they have like they understand the nuance of all kinds of shit. And they can talk about it now, just like, oh, that fucking sucks. Now that the fucking sellout week, bad dump. You should have done this. You should have probably done this with actually. I would have liked it better if you did this. It's like, fuck, can you do it, motherfucker? Yeah, you do it, motherfucker.
Starting point is 02:08:41 You know, apparently this is on Reddit. Anthony Vordain did the forward of this book of restaurant reviews by some woman in the Midwest who got all this shit because she did a review of Olive Garden and her review was that it was good. And so people like got on her ass about it. And then Anthony Bourdain read the review and realized like, wow, this is like actually a really good breakdown of what it's like to eat at Olive Garden. And it is from that perspective, it is good.
Starting point is 02:09:13 And like just because it's Olive Garden, people are like laying into this person. And what you're that's what you're saying is like a great reviewer is not reviewing based on what the mainstream reality thinks is right. They're reviewing it based on some deeper understanding of art. Yeah. Storytelling, you know, like whatever your particular thing you're reviewing, the idea would be you're like a scholar. You're an expert on the thing to such a depth that when you see a thing
Starting point is 02:09:46 that other people like that shit, you might recognize within it devices and beauty that other people can't see, you know, that. Yeah, I got, you know, there's we need more people like that, man. That's what we need in the world is people who are not afraid of because really, like most of the time, man, I'm telling you, I like, depending on how many, I don't even know if it matters how many followers you are, but just like tweet like Biden, I'm voting for him. Not because that's like I'm telling you to like spread some campaign, but just wait.
Starting point is 02:10:17 It's like fishing and all of a sudden someone you don't know. We'll be like, I don't know why so many people don't like Trump. He actually has a really great economic record when it comes to and you're like, wait a minute, who the fuck is that? Then click on their timeline. It's like they haven't slept for six days. It's all retweets of Trump. Shit. It's a robot is what I'm saying.
Starting point is 02:10:40 Robot or even worse is the people who are like people who are Democrats or like former, you know, Bernie supporters who are like, I just can't I can't vote for him in good conscience. It's like, what the fuck? Don't you have something else to do? Yeah, like this ship has sailed, man. Yeah, it's fucking sailed yet. So it's OK. We all love the guy. I remember when I saw him in person with you when we were doing that show in
Starting point is 02:11:03 Philadelphia at the truck. Oh, I forgot we saw Sanders. Holy shit. We were fucking 30 feet from the guy and it was fucking it was it was electric. I was like, damn, this guy is a fucking he's a badass. You can feel it like he's got like that. Sort of like that power of like someone whose head is lower on their shoulders where you can't knock him over. Remember the kind of guy who like you try to grab something from him.
Starting point is 02:11:26 Like, give me that back. No, that's yeah, that's he's a he's like the real thing. Remember, he's a toughie. He's he's a fucking bruiser. Remember when the bird landed on his lectern? Remember that the bird? Oh, my God, I think so. Like a bird landed on him or the like like a dove or something.
Starting point is 02:11:42 It was so mystical. Really? Over the top. And then, meanwhile, like Pence, a fucking fly lands on his head. You know what I mean? It's like, I think that's the problem is like Sanders was was the real thing. You know what I mean? And they don't want the real thing. They they want because he's not a company man.
Starting point is 02:12:00 I mean, even like Pence is like Pence is fucking that guy can speak, man. He's a fucking good speaker. I listen to him talk. I'm like, man, this guy sounds like a doctor. Yeah, he's so good. He's how he talks like a doctor. Does. Yeah, he sounds exactly like every doctor I ever saw. Like, you know, I will go to the Mayo Clinic because that's where I grew up.
Starting point is 02:12:18 Like the fucking best doctors in the world. They're like, all right, well, I think that we're going to you're going to have some itching in there. It's going to be an issue, but I think we'll check back. And I want to have you come in a couple of times and just look at that. And it's probably going to be pretty good. How's this right here? Is that good? He is totally doing doctor speak.
Starting point is 02:12:39 He is. That's exactly how they talk. I mean, Obama does it, too. Obama's doctor speak as well. And he's fucking great at it. Presidents talk like doctors, Johnny. But that's the thing about Trump. That's where everyone loves him so much. He's the first guy in a long time to not be either a good old boy
Starting point is 02:12:56 like Clinton's a good old boy. Yeah. Bush is a good old boy. You know, they have that sort of thing like, hey, man, I don't know if you. I'm sorry about that. But look, I like those shoes. You just fucking like the guy. Yeah, you want some chicken wings? I'm hungry. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:13:11 Fuck, yeah, I want some chicken wings, Bush. I love your vote. And it's either to their doctor or good old boy, and you'll love both of them. But the Trump is like, who's this fucking lunatic coming in here? He's fucking shitting on everybody. You're not supposed to do that. He did it. So like everyone got tricked into thinking, man, this guy's this guy's
Starting point is 02:13:29 a revolutionary when he's just a fucking magician. He's like a magician that normally would spend a couple of days in town. And then you get the fuck out of town because you're going to have to pay the piper. Yeah, man, that's why you travel because you get the fuck out of there before everyone comes for your ass. But this that's like he's like he doesn't. You know, like comedians who have a lot of confidence,
Starting point is 02:13:54 but aren't really like, you don't know what they're really saying or whatever. It's like that. He reminds like it's his style of talking is like very. It's like he's doing state. He's doing some kind of awful stand up, you know, like Joe Biden. He's dumb. Joe Biden. He's dumb. He's so dumb. Look, I wouldn't swing at him so hard.
Starting point is 02:14:13 But he's always been dumb. That's why I'm repeating a mantra. Yeah. He's Trump has created these mantras sleepy Joe. Oh, Jeb is a mess. It's like and it's fucking hilarious because it is so funny. It's like he's killing. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:14:27 But it's also you don't take anything away from it. You're kind of like, OK, what just happened? I had a good time, but I don't get anything. It's wild. How they completely obliterate like he the last route because we've watched these fucking shows. They are shows rallies. The last one he's like, you know what's great about being president?
Starting point is 02:14:43 You get incredible care from doctors. I had so many doctors and it's like you're literally like you are oblivious to the fact that people right now aren't getting money to pay for insulin. You know what I mean? There's people who can't afford their insulin right now and you're bragging that you had 10 doctors. It's and you're not like, you know, you're not signing whatever the fuck needs to be signed so people can get their checks.
Starting point is 02:15:13 People people need their checks, man. People can't pay rent right now like that. There was there was supposed to be another bill passed. Right. But it didn't happen. Yeah. And it's not going to happen until after the election. Then you know, it's not going to be till a month after the election. Yeah. Anyway, man, look, God damn it, fuck it. We got political on this one.
Starting point is 02:15:31 I'm sorry, everybody. I don't want to get political anymore. But it wasn't super political. It was more like fundamentally political, which I think is. It's a flea dip. You know that term? People don't. Yeah, flea dip.
Starting point is 02:15:43 Like it's like you get all the all the nasty shit off you. Well, yeah, it's like the people who are like us, who have been harboring some deep hope that we're like white supremacist Trump supporting all right Nazis or whatever. They hear this and they're like, I guess I was wrong. You will get it. You'll get you'll get someone will send you a message and be like, you know, I really used to enjoy your stuff, Johnny.
Starting point is 02:16:10 But it seems like something's gone wrong inside of you. It's a flea dip. Like all the people who are hoping you are like a piece of shit. Oh, I see you say like it's a flea off you. Yeah, it gets the fleas off the dogs. Like, you know what I mean? You don't want to like, you know, there's a piece of you that wants everyone to like you.
Starting point is 02:16:25 But it's like, no, you don't let like let those people either like love you still, even though they disagree with you or reject you because of like how you feel or think, you know, yeah, that's a good. I've never heard that before. That makes a lot of sense. Connor Bebe gave me that. He's like, yeah, I do a flea dip sometimes because like,
Starting point is 02:16:42 if you're not careful, they'll latch on to you. Because you know what I mean? Yeah, if you don't make if you don't make declarative statements once in a while about how you feel, then people ambivalences construed as whatever you want it to be. Well, yeah, then they're like, you know what? He just can't say it because, you know, he works in Hollywood, so he can't say it.
Starting point is 02:17:06 So he's like keeping it a secret. But you know, really, they're into Trump. It's like, no, he is a piece of shit. If you like him, you're probably like bored and you've gotten confused. It's not your fault, but you got hypnotized by a classic thing to be hypnotized by the Carnival Barker. It's okay. No shaming it.
Starting point is 02:17:28 Man, I've been hypnotized by so many con artists in my life. So many con artists. It's totally OK. It's just like you just got sucked in a little bit. That's all. Also, it feels good to get hypnotized. Yeah, it's fun. It's exciting.
Starting point is 02:17:42 It's like those fundamentalist Mormons. You read that book under the banner of heaven. The best. Oh, my God. The last chapter of that, the last couple pages, when you basically ask that one guy, like the smart, I can't remember their name, but the super smart guy who's a fundamentalist, he's like, why do people do this?
Starting point is 02:18:00 And he was like, you know what? It comes down to it. It's just if you are a fundamentalist Mormon, not talking about other Mormons, but like a fundamentalist Mormon, everything in your life that's a question, the answer is right there. Paradise.
Starting point is 02:18:18 Paradise. It's paradise. You don't have to think about anything. Paradise. Hit your fucking wagon to the goddamn state and imagine that you're like in the right and you're going to be taken care of and enjoy your silly ride.
Starting point is 02:18:31 Pretend you're a rebel. Pretend by like attaching yourself to a populist US president. Somehow you have risen above or you're part of this great tide. This identity too. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:18:45 Imagine all and then add to it all the nonsense that you have to add to it. Because you know in your heart that you're wrong. So you add to it all this subterfuge and imaginary like deep conspiracy where he's aligned with like, you know, some kind of like ancient beings or some secret cult or whatever. It's some bullshit like that.
Starting point is 02:19:06 Let yourself believe that because when you look at him, you know the part of yourself that's done cocaine. You know what it looks like. It's just a coped up old man. It's nothing, nothing more than that. It's a coped up golfer. He should, you know, he's no different than people who run shopping
Starting point is 02:19:25 who like shopping center landlords. Come on, he's into commercial real estate. That's a commercial real estate investor on cocaine. Stop with the other mystical shit. He's just blown out on Coke. I know what Coke looks like. You know what Coke looks like. The guys blasted on blow as are most of his constituents.
Starting point is 02:19:50 It's just cocaine. That's it. Nothing special about it at all. I get like that when I'm on cocaine. Give me cocaine and I'll just say crazy shit when I haven't slept for like eight days. You know, you know, he doesn't sleep. You can look at his tweets.
Starting point is 02:20:07 Dude, that's just crazy. Man, I was looking out there a day because I've been looking at his Twitter more because it just when he was putting out those videos and when he got the hospital, that was some of the best media I've seen in ages. Amazing. Just like, how is this real?
Starting point is 02:20:20 Amazing. That stuff to me was, oh, it felt like it really does. I mean, this is a whole other podcast, but the whole idea of the simulation, it just comes. I constantly feel like stuff like that is the simulation being hello. Right. This is a simulation.
Starting point is 02:20:39 Come on, guys. Yeah. Yeah. Don't you get it? Yeah. Like have some fun. You're going to die soon. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:20:45 You better enjoy this video game. Yeah. Yeah. Right. You know, I do feel like it's a sin. I feel like it's insta justice. You know, that's like what's really fascinating about like all the people around him got COVID.
Starting point is 02:20:57 It's like, you know, just classic. It's like, yeah, you're hanging out with someone who has a pestilence. And you, of course, and you got it. And no one was like, it's like all these people, like you're looking at like Old Testament style justice. It's like they hung out with the demon and they all got sick. It's like, girl, basic bullshit.
Starting point is 02:21:20 And all, but, you know, the other thing I like about Trump is he is a kind of like, he's a light in the sense that he's illuminating all the fucking crazy people, like goddamn Lindsey Graham. You know what I mean? Like all the people who like all those people who, in the future, you know, Tucker Carlson right now, you're going to get by for a little bit.
Starting point is 02:21:42 Hannity, you're going to get by for a little bit. You'll be fine no matter what. You have shit tons of money. You'll be okay. There's not going to be some kind of guillotine revolution. You'll be fine. But like, they're not going to be fine. It won't matter to them because they'll be dead.
Starting point is 02:21:54 Is in the future, people are going to look back at those bootlickers and they're going to look at them in the same way they look at like all the people, you know, any video of an American person talking about how he liked Hitler or whatever. It won't be that extreme, but it'll be like, look, they were supporting this guy who had clearly gone nuts. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:22:16 It's like he has, like he's on the balcony posing, like fucking Mussolini or some shit, you know? It's so gross. He's clearly gone nuts. He's coked up. It's not rocket science, but you're like, you were the ones who like did the fucking, what's it called?
Starting point is 02:22:35 Enabling. You were the ones who like, you could have been like, no, that's not, our leader should be not that, whatever that is is not it. But you were like, that's what it looks like. True leadership. He's a powerhouse. It's like, no, dude, that's just a coked up golfer.
Starting point is 02:22:52 What's a guy who's, I've been on steroids before. I mean, that's why he made all those videos. He made all those videos after the hospital because he felt really, really good. And I was on steroids for almost all of sixth grade. I was the student council president. I did, I did like fucking everything you could do because I slept about three hours a night
Starting point is 02:23:12 because I was on fucking steroids. My face looked like a chipmunk. But I was fucking, you know, you feel so good. You feel so fucking good. Yeah, man. He's flying on the wings of Eagles right now. And it would be fun to be the president and be high. And I'll tell you, if I became president,
Starting point is 02:23:30 you better fucking believe I'd be high. I'd be high every day. I'd be on so much acid every day. I would be so fucking high. And I would love it. And if there's like a simulator in the future that lets me be like a high president, like the high president experience, you know,
Starting point is 02:23:48 sitting in the Oval Office blasted doing fucking just, just high. You know how cool would be if Rockstar Games made like Red Dead Redemption, but instead it was, you get to play Trump. President. Be so, dude, do you know how fun it would be? Just think of this. You're in the Oval Office right when the speed kicks in. Right at that first moment when like the dopamine is pouring out
Starting point is 02:24:13 or whatever it is, right at those moments, that moment where you're like, oh yeah. And then you realize you can call Putin like right now. And it's like 3 a.m. in Russia. And you can tell someone call, get Putin on the phone. I want to talk to him right now. And you will hear Putin be like, hello? Hello.
Starting point is 02:24:39 And you're like, hey, what's up, dude? What are you doing? Are you asleep? You can be like, hey, do you want to talk to Jenna Jackson right now? Get Jenna Jackson on the line here. You can do that. You can conference and Jenna Jackson and you can fucking call up, you know, anybody can call anybody.
Starting point is 02:24:58 Anybody could have them there in three hours. Probably a hypersonic jet. You want to fly in Trudeau? Be like, I can't tell you what it is. I need you here in three hours. Get them there and be like, dude, I just want to say I love you, man. You could do it. That's going to feel good.
Starting point is 02:25:17 Thank you, Kanye. Very cool. Yeah. Kanye, thanks so much. That was awesome. Kanye, come by. Want to play video? Like, you know, that's a, it's a Koch heads dream come true to be president.
Starting point is 02:25:28 Like there's nothing. Oh yeah. There's nothing better. It is kind of that because you have like this party at your fingertips. You can create like the ultimate party. Ultimate party and you could just legalize anything. You can just go, you can do a press conference. You can just like on a whim be like, hey, let's do a press conference.
Starting point is 02:25:46 I'm going to say that I don't think people should wear socks and then I'm going to walk off. How do I think about that? Like that video he shot with the helicopter. That's like me when I realized that my director friend wants to shoot a short sketch. I, he likes it. Yeah, let's shoot it. He's like, yeah, you know what I mean? Like you've got a helicopter.
Starting point is 02:26:06 Okay. Yeah, let's shoot it. I have an idea for a sketch. Oh, Johnny, I got to go man. This has been a delight. I love seeing you. What are you doing? Are you allowed to say what you're doing right now? Just making a movie, a little indie movie.
Starting point is 02:26:19 But I came here a day early just so I could, you know, be extra safe. And also what hotel is that hotel looks nice. It is actually more of an apartment. It's actually an apartment. Oh, okay. It's a nice apartment. It's, it is nice. I got to say it is nice being in all this space.
Starting point is 02:26:37 Why do apartments always have that fucking weird, like that art you have is literally in every temporary apartment. The black frame, the like sepia tone, unidentifiable structure. It's just to, uh, it's to be the least offensive possible, but still be there. All right. All right.
Starting point is 02:26:57 I would love to be there, man. That looks fun. Johnny, where can people find you? Well, the best place right now is Twitch. Oh yeah. That's right. What's your, what's your show? I fucking, I love Twitch so much.
Starting point is 02:27:09 I feel like it's the, it's the answer to the pandemic. Honestly, if it's, it's my, it's the first week I did it, I was as happy as I've been in six months. Are you playing video games on there? I play video games. I also do like just chatting. I do some like crazy psychedelic shit too, where I just, you know, watch videos and talk to people.
Starting point is 02:27:28 The chat I have there is like the greatest. It's like the nicest, coolest, funniest people. I just, I can't, I'm sort of like blown away at the, uh, at how, how cool and fun everyone is. It's not at all like you think it would be. It's not a bunch of people talking shit or, you know, saying dumb stuff. It's, it's so much fun.
Starting point is 02:27:46 It's twitch.tv slash justmynipples. Oh dude. Yeah. Are you doing it to, are you doing it while you're on the road, while you're shooting the film? Well, I was going to, but I'm having problems because I have my laptop. Normally I have my PC with the monitors and stuff,
Starting point is 02:27:58 but I'm having problems getting the sound from videos to play through the OBS. Yep. So I might not actually do it the rest of this week, but you know, normally I'm, I'm normally on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and sometimes the weekend. You got it for sure. I have some ideas on how you could do that.
Starting point is 02:28:15 Okay. Well, let me know. All right. Johnny, that was Johnny Pemberton. Thank you so much, man. Hare Krishna. Bye Duncan. Hare Krishna.
Starting point is 02:28:22 A big thanks to Johnny Pemberton for joining us on the DTFH. Thank you for sticking around to listen to that. Amazingly insightful political discourse and do follow Johnny on Twitch, listen to his podcast, go see him live when this damn disease plague, hell plague, is lifted from our planet. Much thanks to our sponsors and much thanks to you for continuing to listen.
Starting point is 02:28:48 Join our Patreon, patreon.com forward slash DTFH. I will see you next week. Until then, Hare Krishna. All dressed up, everywhere to go. JCPenney.

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