Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 440: Erin Trussell

Episode Date: May 22, 2021

Erin Trussell, Duncan's BELOVED and someone he actually married and had babies with, re-joins the DTFH! Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg. This episode is brought to you by: Squarespace - Use offer code: DUNCAN to save 10% on your first site. Feals - Visit feals.com/duncan and get 50% off and FREE shipping on your first order. ZipRecruiter - Try for FREE at ZipRecruiter.com/Duncan

Ghost Towns, Dirty Angel, out now. You can get Dirty Angel anywhere you get your music, Ghost Towns, Dirty Angel, out now. New album and tour date coming this summer. Greetings, sweet darlings. It's me, Duncan, and I'm in a business center at a condo in St. Simon's Island, Georgia, and I don't want to be here. I don't like business centers. They're always kind of fucked up in

sad places. The surfaces are always like yellowed like teeth that I haven't been taking care of for a long time. There's a general stink in the air. We've got discarded forms. You know what goes along with a business center sadly is what I'm imagining are like, are senior citizens who don't recognize that you got to log out of your email when you log in to your email at a business center. I had to log someone out of their email. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine not logging out of

your email at a business center that that's like leaving your dick at a glory hole and just going home and just coming back in a few days to get your dick. You don't want to do that. It's just to think that this person's email has just kind of been sitting here like some horrible data iceberg floating in the sick, depraved waters of this business center for anybody to come along and just sort of mush through all their stuff. I saw the emails, you know, the first page of emails and I got

to admit I was tempted to dig around in there. I've been watching Dateline. So the evil part of me, you know, that tries to come up with reasons to do awful things was like, well, you know, maybe they murdered someone and you should do a quick key phrase search like murder, which is so ridiculous. Like no one no murderer is gonna like send an email. It's like, I murdered someone. I, you know, so I just, you know, send an email to all their contacts saying I'm not a murderer, logged

them out and that's it. They're safe now. But you gotta, you can't, you can't, you can't trust a business center. I logged into my email already feel fucked. I feel like I'm ruined because I logged in but I have to because I have to send these audio files and already know like, probably some Portuguese pirate is like rifling through my email right now just looking at it, stroking his fucking bloated sunburn pirate nipples as long pirate tongue lapping against his greasy mustache.

We've got a wonderful podcast for you today with someone who is incredibly special to me, my beloved. That's what the hippies will call their, their, their lovers, their beloved. I can't believe I just said it, but I mean it. I love her. She's one of the coolest people I've ever met in my life. And she managed to transform two of my cum blasts into the most incredible creatures I've ever seen in my life. She's inflated them with milk from her breasts. And that's one of the most incredible

miracles I've ever seen from cum to baby, then baby to boy via milk from your nipples. Like, are we really supposed to believe that we're not in a simulation when that's how humans come into existence? It's going to be a wonderful, wonderful conversation. Aaron Trussell is here with us. We're going to jump right into that. But first, some quick business. Much thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of the DTFH. My loves, if you're thinking about creating a website, Squarespace is

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want to get them back just to kind of, you know, like lost dog service, but for dicks or it could just be some kind of song and like a cool animation that makes the the viewer have to like pair the two together, like makes the person who lands on it think, what does this Bulgarian lullaby have to do with left my dick at a glory hole? Or you could use it as a meme page, a t shirt page, you wouldn't want to wear a shirt that says left my dick at a glory hole.com. I would and it's

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order of a website or a domain Squarespace. I left my dick at a glory hole.com. Get it today. And we are back my sweet darlings. If you notice the sound of a leaf blow or some kind of gardening equipment outside, I'll tell you why it's there. It's because I've gone to a business center to record the intro for my podcast. And in the same way, if you splatter blood upon the ocean waves, you can expect sharks if you start recording a podcast or music or anything that requires some kind of

silence, you will summon a leaf blower. If you're in danger, maybe you find yourself in a place where you need help. And your your phone isn't working to call 911. Just press voice memo and start recording a podcast. I don't care where the fuck you are if you're in the in the in on a glacier floating in the middle of the fucking sea, a leaf blower person will show up a scuba outfit will just or maybe on a distant, not so distant that you can't hear it, but a glacier blowing ice off

of the glacier, they just come. It is an inevitability I could do the experiment and probably prove some what dark matter is maybe it's dark matter. Maybe that's what dark matter is dark matter is all of the as of yet manifested leaf blowing people in the universe existing in a kind of super position. And the moment you start recording, they pop into existence. And the moment you stop, they pop out. Listen, I want to invite you to join the DTF Patreon. It's more than a Patreon. It's a

community. It's a coven. It's a cabal, an ever expanding circumference of brilliant, fascinating, artistic human beings who hang out together on our discord server. Don't go to the NSFW part of that server. It's really NSFW. And it's at patreon.com for DTF H you sign up, you'll get access to our discord server, you'll get commercial free episodes of this glorious podcast. And every week we gather together for our journey into boredom, which is our meditation group that's

been going on through the entirety of the pandemic just about and our family gatherings, which it's just where we hang out and the app and they're super fun. You should try it out. If you don't like it, you can just cancel it. I think it's a patreon.com forward slash DTF H. Alright, let's do this podcast. Today's guest is someone I actually married and have had babies with. Can you believe that? I did that. I never thought I would do that. Then I met Erin, and she's here with us

today. So everybody please welcome the sweet angel of my family, Aaron trestle to the DTF H. It's the Welcome back to my podcast. A sweet wife. How you doing? Pretty good. I meant to tell you I took forest to the playground today. Yeah. And you know, we're done doing that game like what does the crow say? And he's like, ah, what's Einstein's general theory of relativity equals mc square daddy.

And then I said, what does mama say? And he goes, I love you. I know. Yeah. Really? And then I said, what does daddy say? And he said, very funny things, the most funny things anyone's ever said all the time. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. No, he said, I said, what is, what does daddy say? And he goes, I love you. Just like what you said, but like a little grasp here. Yes. Yes, he did. I swear. I swear. I love you. Yeah. It's like, that's how he hears me. You're this very sweet voice. Mine was as close as

a toddler can get to a rasp. He thinks you're a monkey. Yeah, tell them this burn. My own child, this happened with my own child, burnt me yesterday. Because I always make the joke that you're a monkey. I mean, we both make that joke about each other. That's great. It's really dumb. But um, we, my mom was watching Forrest and a monkey came on the TV and he goes, that's daddy. And she's like, what? And he's like, that's daddy. He's great. It's the coolest. All those, you know, that can only

make me proud. Like getting roasted by him only makes me proud of him, especially a distant roast to my mother-in-law. Of all people. It's really a great, perfect joke. I mean, it's a perfect joke. It's less funny around us than it is around his grandmother. I like that he adds in the ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah. You know what? Yeah, I like that. I've noticed sometimes he also is taking up mocking us. Like if we're having a serious conversation, what does he do? What's the thing he does? We're

having like a serious chat. Oh, he goes, I know it's when we're correcting him or when we're like trying to discipline him. He did it once when we were just talking about like the mortgage or something. I don't, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I remember that. But it'll also do it when we're like trying to discipline him. Yeah. And he goes, none, none, none, none, the disrespect. The disrespect. And the thing is like, you can't laugh. Like, you have to feign seriousness because

you don't want to encourage like that, right? Like that's the idea. It's so hard not to laugh. It's so hard not. I mean, this and go ahead. No, you go. I'm just gonna say it's like the to me, you're like anytime you run into someone who's got like horrible manners. Yeah, it's just generally rotten to be around. What happened is they were super cute and their parents didn't have the ability to override how adorable they are. Yeah. And impose any kind of

structure. You think of all the encounters you've had with just awful people in your life. And you feel that their parents all came to these crossroads where like, what do we do? I want to go to the beach with him. I want to go to the beach with him because it's fun. And I like watching him run around in the in the sand, but he just slapped his mother. Yeah. Across the face. Yeah. And is refusing to say I'm sorry. I don't think it was across the face this time,

but it doesn't really matter. He still hit me. He hit you. Yeah. So you have to like, it's like one thing that like you never want them to know is how much you are then joy hanging out with them regardless of how they're behaving. So you run into someone who is like a complete dick. Yeah. And probably what happened is their parents just weren't wanted to be with them too much or didn't have the ability to it's it's a really tricky thing being a parent.

Also like I was telling you watching someone like just disrespect you the worst you've ever been disrespected like just complete disrespect for you but with your own face. It's your face. It's just someone like yeah, just like yeah, disrespecting you with your face on their face. Yes, you do a good job. It's hilarious, but you do it. This is the you do a really good job because he's the right now it's getting better but I am not the preferred parent right now toddlers will pick

a parent that they prefer and it's almost always the mom or is it? Yeah. Yeah. So this is like a rare case. Right. And then but then I because I was look I was feeling like legitimately bad about this like bad for you and I looked it up because I wasn't sure if it was an aberration. It's just normal. Yeah, they just do it. It doesn't even mean they prefer you. No, yeah. It's just they're they it's like a for toddlers. One of the things that they are looking for is some sense of

autonomy, some kind of control because when you're a baby, you don't have any control. You're just getting carried around like a sandwich basically. Yeah. Why would I say like a sandwich? A sandwich. Like I never carry sandwiches around. Like it's not. We don't even carry food around. Why would I say that? People who carry food around. Why would I say that? Like a sandwich like it's some common thing you know you have a fucking baguette under your arm. Yeah, you know all the people

you see when you walk around carrying sandwiches, you know, like a sandwich. You can all relate to that. It's not even the same size. So relatable. Anyway, the point is they don't have any control. Well, I think I just like broke his heart a little bit when I had the next baby. But it's like a necessary, you know, I wanted to break his heart in that way. Yeah, but I think it's been you didn't want to break his heart, but you didn't want him. I did know that it would in a way.

At first, I didn't want to have the second one. Yeah. And but then you explained to me age differences and like what that means. You did. I think you did want a second one. Well, you had moments of like not being sure, but I think you wanted a second one. I think you weren't sure like when. Well, that's true. That exactly. I wanted a second one, but but I just hadn't thought out the time. I think you had moments where you didn't want a second one. Well, I don't know. I just

hadn't thought out the time thing. Like you have to consider when you're having the second one, you're thinking about like at some point, the age difference becomes like it's going to be alienating a little bit to them. Like if you do like the two-year age difference, they're more likely hopefully to be pals. Well, that's why I prayed for another boy because I just wanted them to be thick as thieves. I wanted him to have like a best friend for life and you know,

we'll see. Well, I'll tell you, this is one of the damnedest things you've ever seen. Dune, the youngest, he worships. Oh my god. It's like girls in the 60s when they like that footage when they like the Beatles would come. Yeah. It's like that. Yeah. The way he looks at him. Yeah. Like it's just the most amazing thing to see that just ah and the way he like just studies forest like eating cheese or like jumping around or like just anything rolling his

truck around. It's like watching. It's the way I would look if like a actual UFO appeared. Yeah. It's really sweet. It's the sweetest. This episode of the DTFH has been brought to you by the greatest purveyors of CBD in the known universe. It feels CBD isn't about what you feel. It's about what you don't feel stress, anxiety, pain and feels is a better way to feel better. I use it for my insomnia. I use it when I

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you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping. That's feels.com slash Duncan to become a member and get 50% automatically taken off your first order with free shipping. Feels.com slash Duncan. Thank you, Feels. I mean, I'm glad that you did give in to my procreation. Oh my god, I'm so glad I did. Urges. I'm so glad I did. This kid is just like for those of you who haven't held a baby in a while, they're just it's so good.

It's so good. They smell so good and their energy. They're like it's god. It's like they have that god energy. That's what it's like. It's very like the portal. They're still like they're between the veil in a way or something like they're just sort of like they're here in there. You know what one of my friends said that I who I have a lot of respect for, she said to me, God gives us exactly what we need. God has a way of giving us the perfect gift. Yeah. And

it sounds cheesy or whatever, but it's so true because like I've always loved like the stories of Krishna and as a child, but I never understood it. Now I understand what I understand that. I don't think I could have on baby Krishna, baby Krishna. I'm too dim to have been able to wrap my head around it. Yeah. As a as a non parent, but which is like, but that's why that that style of yoga is so brilliant because it it offers everyone a way to tune in and like for

you know, parents, it's like, oh look, Krishna comes to you as a baby sometimes. Yeah. And also our guru is a family guru. Yes. Which was like perfect. Neem Karli Baba. Yeah. He would send you away if you were having. Send you to go reunite with your family and make up with your family. Or at least try. Yeah. Yeah. And he had kids. Yeah. Which is super cool. Yeah. That's another thing before. How many? Do we know? I think like 300. No. I don't know the exact amount. I think one of them

passed away recently. The the um yeah. Well, but this is another thing where that was before I had kids. That was always something where that I scrutinized a little bit. What breeders? That he had kids. Oh. And now that I've had. I mean not anyone had kids, right? But him especially. Why? Because you just felt like gurus shouldn't be like have a family life. Yeah. Because like you you know what that's one of the first things when you start thinking about gurus. Because

you're kind of supposed to like forsake your like worldly. Absolutely. Things and like ascend. Yeah. You I just. Away from. You set it up. I set up my own. That's what that's one of the one of the first blocks till you like meeting one of these beings is what you think they should be like because what you think they should be like is what is it based on? Like for me it's like a comic book, a character from Street Fighter. Uh you know what I mean? Like Bill Murray and the

Razor's Edge. Yeah. Some brief encounter with a Buddhist monk. The Razor's Edge. Yeah. Yeah. The Somerset one. That's that. That movie we it was garbage. I know but I watched it when I was a kid and it got into my head. But when we rewatched it, what did you think? This is shit. It's guys everyone listening to this should go and like have a watch of that. Get stoned. Get some drinks. Watch that movie. It is the most self-important. Garbage. Hilarious. Direct. The first

okay trigger warning on the first part of the film involves like child death. Oh yeah. It is like I don't even remember that. I just blocked that out. Yeah. I remember the girl her like husband and kid dies. I don't even remember that. So then so at first it's like and it's kind of serious. Don't remember. But then it just gets really dumb and self important from there. I start this is the part I remember. I remember him on a ship. All of a sudden Bill Murray goes from

I think either being like like wealthy somehow or having inherited money to suddenly being on a ship and it's like a series of like shitty jobs and in each of these shitty jobs he's like he starts really finding himself and you know when you're a kid yeah finding himself but we're not really that's not really the way they portray him finding himself is like he just condescends everyone else. That's the problem. Like it's not like he does anything amazing. He's

just sort of like looks down at everyone. I mean but it's a book right? I didn't read that book. I'm sure it's an amazing book. I don't know. I bet it is. Supposedly he made the the Razor's Edge. He wrote the Razor's Edge. It shows one thing it shows about him is he has a real spiritual side to him because that's a heavy movie to decide to make. Yeah. The movie didn't come out because he ran into the big problem I think when you make any movie like that which is

like how are you gonna put spirituality in the real sense of the word into it into a movie that's about spirituality? Like I think I think it will it emits out of like certain movies just because they're so good like there will be blood. That's incredibly good movie that has a weird radiance to it but if you try to do it it you're probably it's hard to do and I think he had legitimately good intentions. It's hard to do. That's something for us. He said it's hard to do.

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for you. Don't risk getting indoctrinated into a weird cult that will probably be a dateline episode in 10 or 20 years. Go to ZipRecruiter today. Thanks ZipRecruiter. But you know what I think one of my favorite viewing experiences to have with you and in your age like the age that you are. Oh boy here we go. Okay just the age that you are like life alert commercial. No you've been alive like long enough to have seen films when you were like a completely different person or super super super

young or like maybe you were high or like whatever. And so you have them like remembered in your head and like so Duncan will like prepare me for like a viewing experience and he'll be like okay like I remember the the razors and maybe I was even pregnant too because that's why I remember the child loss thing so well but anyway but he'll be like okay I just really I want to connect with you tonight like I want to watch this amazing film with you. It means so much to me. It means so much to me like I

want to watch it with you and I'm like okay well yeah like this will be great. Hold on let me interject there's also a little bit I will admit of me being like and let me you know maybe show Erin a spiritual pair of be parable here. Because you're gonna learn me something. Yeah. Because we're 20 years apart. Yeah and that's a big age difference. It's a big age difference. So sometimes yeah Duncan's gonna learn me something and as we say down in the south but um and so what will happen is I'll be

sitting there like it'll start the music will start and then I'll be like it's the worst feeling man. I'm sitting there and then you know we've had fights about stuff where I've been like too flipping about stuff you like so like I'll sit there and I'll be like like like Monty. Wait hold on just so I can just let me speak up for myself. You're disdain for Monty. It's terrible. Okay that's unforgivable. It's not funny. I'm so sorry. I will never forgive you for that. There's only one funny thing I liked from that. What?

And it's like um bring out you're dead. That's funny. I'm not dead. Yeah that's funny. There's like one there's like one percent of funny. Are you a king? How do you know I'm a king? Because you're not covered in shit. No that's not funny. That's not funny at all. Okay let's skip over that get back to my rose with the razor's edge. So anyway not just the razor's edge like we have this experience. You lost a lot of fans just now. You're gonna get canceled for that. Okay I'm fine with that.

But um so then so anyway I'll just sit there for a while and then. Nights at the round table. So anyway I'll just sit there for a while and I'll feel Duncan like I'll feel him go. That's just a rabbit. You didn't even get that far with a rabbit. I've seen like all of them. No you've like forced me. Okay anyway. All right I'm just gonna abandon my story. No go ahead I'm sorry go ahead. No I was just so I see you like cycle through the I see you like things starting to like I see the red flag starting to go off with you

slowly and I will just kind of sit there quietly until like you're ready to start making fun of it with me. Okay but there's like these sad moments where you're like trying to like it. You just sit there quietly don't you? Oh sure that's such bullshit. Quiet as a mouse. You will you immediately start started flaying the razor's edge. You know what it was because the opening is like I think it's got like a weird long. Okay I don't like like yeah a 30 minute open it's just excessive and it's so as like a film it's such it's such a pretentious choice. Like I like it is like a 10 minute opening it's

like fuck you I'm already pissed off. But it's also got it's doing like classic Hollywood symphony music. Yeah it's like The razor's edge and you're it's like a sunset over a grass. But I have to admit when I was young and I saw that I thought it was the ultimate depiction of what it must be like to be enlightened which is why that that shit is so dangerous you know because in light because people imitate you know people imitate it's easier you know what I just actually I just saw this great Shogun Trumpa quote which is it's easier to act like it it's easier to act like you're holy than it is to be sane and you know and so like that's the that's the

for sure yeah it's a hundred percent love that quote yeah that's good am I the only person who doesn't want to be enlightened see I mean well I think I think anybody with any kind of like healthy a brain healthy attitude towards life when they hear about enlightenment or anything they just kind of like whatever yeah it just seems like another thing you know it doesn't if you're if you're if you're having a I think if your incarnation is sort of at a great place then why would you even and also anybody who like who I it would be someone who could even talk about enlightenment like Shogun Trumpa they just say things like it's just it's like the he says it's the final disappointment or he calls it yeah that's like the whole thing ordinary yeah so so it's not

it seems like one big disappointment well I mean it's well I think the final disappointment is the cool part of that which is just it is but I do think there's there's something like the disappointment is the point well or just I think life is can be pretty disappointing I mean you don't usually you don't like I mean look we just saw a wonderful film which I think actually speaks to this it's called a feeling of home it's really really really good it's on the hallmark channel Aaron and I when I'm not trying to man view her with some kind of fucking movie that meant something to me when I was in college which I do like though like some you've shown me some really great thank you like I never saw fly you never saw Texas Chainsaw Massacre no so like I have introduced some good

hard fly right one with the fly the fly yeah that's a damn good Cronenberg so good um and I never would have seen that or even heard of it Aaron actually has a very great taste when it comes to most things most things most things no one has great taste in everything but you have really maybe not our bathroom no we'll talk about that later I think you're being too hard on yourself with that but we don't know yet is a thing you just have to anyway how are you gonna learn to do that shit unless you yeah the only way to learn that stuff is by making mistakes we'll get to that later it's so boring later it's so dumb it's so boring but one one of the things that we like to do together is watch hallmark channel movies and I think it's fair to say Johnny

Pemberton introduced me to this genre with this movie called Christmas Lodge yeah which is and honestly whenever we stop watching the hallmark movies like a little bit of light goes out of my life and when we start again I like feel so good and that makes me like genuinely feel connected to you and like super happy to watch them and you know it's because like I think Aaron and I have a spiritual part of us but I think there's a part of us that's like weirdly nihilistic or something like there's a really dark a shadowy dark aspect to us that's like this really really really like absurd or absurdist or something and then we get really dark but that dark we love hyper sincerity yes so the hallmark so there's you can't fake what the hallmark movies are doing

like you can't like and I think will ferrell made an attempt you saw that will the attempt will ferrell and oh you haven't seen that yet what is it he tried to make one and they just made a sincere hallmark channel movie it wasn't funny they tried I love will ferrell he did not it didn't because you can't no you can't you can only do it if you're like authentically doing it and yes and yes that's it I think you probably have to get you can't do it in jest or in like ironic hipster shit no you have to there's no way in yeah it can only be made by the people who make it and the people who make it I mean I don't understand I was looking at some of the shots and just thinking like they're definitely puking in between takes like it's so so sentimental and so

like and just to name your film a feeling of home to me is like what does that mean it sounds like a crazy person it sounds something someone out of their mind would say like I mean a feeling of home another thing we'll do is force people to watch the hallmark movies with us so like at Christmas like our family will be there like my mom her husband at the time like who's just a person who would not understand why we would watch these let it roll put it on yeah like my brother like we'll just subject our entire family to like a viewing of these movies and then Duncan and I are in the corner like cackling the whole time while that people are just like sitting there like trying to politely view it and we look like complete like psychos why are we why not just show like to me

like there's a few go-to things I show guests I show them stuck in mud no stuck in mud's like the end of the night it starts with like what does it start with well you have to find stuck in mud so you have a way of finding ones before that you know you'll show yeah you'll show some other stuff maybe like warm them up with some UFO videos or something yeah and then finally it gets to like people in front of maybe a couple like dug pound videos pound house I'll go to and then warm them up warm them up and then it gets like someone in a gim suit with like suede spraying on their face yeah fetish mud videos which yeah but I placed these hallmark movies on the same level of disturb tapper dan I'll show tapper dan yeah now I by the way I do not show tapper dan

cynically I like tapper dan tapper dan to me is like a really powerful lo-fi artists like he reminds me of an outsider artist I really do love tapper dan he's got daniel johnson vibes tapper dan's great he's like look him up he he's into wrestling but also he like he's learning how to dance and he films himself at malls doing this cool and he does it to the same song or at least a lot of them are to that yeah you know the song I'm talking about waiting for somebody to show anyway I like those they're they relax me I know I know I know but those are the that's your playlist that's my playlist but the hallmark channel movies usually we ended ending with the mud around 10 30 11 p.m at the latest yeah and then we go upstairs then we go

upstairs and I'm gonna stop doing it and that's a party night but I've started realizing like people don't understand when I'm showing emo got me into the mud videos yeah the stuck in mud of course he showed those to me yeah but I realize now when I'm showing people that they're like are you in like you like this I was wondering that the last time you showed my friend gray was over saying with us and I wondered that in the back of my mind I was like it's some part of him like not outwardly but does some part of him like like this I was wondering it too you were yeah like I'm watching it and I'm thinking like I kind of like it but we could do some mud play if you want I don't never want to do mud play because I might like it if I did mud play no I don't want

to do any mud play if you watched I don't want you in mud I did no babe I did what if I was with someone else in mud this is getting explicit like if I was a mudcock no like another girl no I'm like wrestling I don't want you in another mudcock hashtag mudcock I would no but I do I do wonder like I do feel like part the whole okay let me the you with another girl in mud that's cheesy to me because that's kind of like people are like let me whip cream off your boo yeah you've never been in you do not like food play I don't like I don't like play anything involving fucking I've never like that I don't like the term okay but you like play I don't like to call it play okay but I mean it just sounds creepy play

play sounds like the same person what is like let me let me do but you've never liked food activities I like the word fetish at all okay food fetish let's do food play what's okay but you've never been in the food I'm gonna I'm gonna dull I want to I want to spray with cream into your tits I don't want to like play frizz you're not hungry you don't need a snack let's do a food play but you don't okay but you don't like for the record you do not like food fetish activities I tried it anyone out there who likes it I'm not bashing you which is not my thing it's like you did try it who hasn't tried it when I don't think I have oh yeah I have okay yeah it adds maybe I have one you know what not really I think at some point I was talking about it I think

I was trying to get you to do it no I someone I think that someone just like in a very kind way I think we I've been I don't remember where it's from so just someone said like that's how you give your lover a yeast infection for sure because I just don't do it I mean it doesn't have to go in the pussy yeah but if it gets other places yeah but I mean it's probably you end up in your pussy I guess you know and somehow yeah but if the whole time you're just thinking like I hope I don't get a sugar in our vagina you want to eat some ice cream out of my ass yeah I don't like any form of that lump it in Jerry's I will eat ass but I don't know why we have to get ice cream in there like yummy I don't know you just like to keep your separation of church and state

always feel fat kind of like I have a body problem so just like now I'm gonna add that to eating you're not so if I'm eating your ass and now I'm eating ice cream I'm thinking like what are the calories in this I'm thinking like you know I'm pre-diabetic you have guilt eating anyway I don't want to go into diabetics like when you're eating a treat it's already like a guilty exercise one of nice little baggages yeah well I don't by the way like my you're not fat I don't it's not you know anybody who has like that body problems it's not like they really like I'm really fat or not fat you're just like it doesn't matter we're not gonna get into that because a lot of it a lot of people out there feel you're a very very sexy man and I've had very sweet people try to like you know

really smart way like can like connect to me at that level people who've also gone through that shit when they were a kid and like it's very sweet and I get the whole when they've gone through food play as it no as a kid no you got Jesus you demon no a lot of kids get bullied and shit and then you end up with some kind of body issues and it's hard for you to like feel good with your shirt off I'm a never nude you are never nude and it's funny because I'm a nude you are well yin yang yeah so it's like very I'm actually so much a nude it's gonna be a big problem because we have two boys so it's like I'm gonna have to get clothes oh my god I do not want to be that mom and I know someone who's had that for a mom and like they are super fucked let me tell you I had a friend

whose mom was fucking hot and she would go around with almost nothing on in a robe when we were over and that was like at least 30% of the reason you would go to that guy's house yeah because he probably knew it how do you not know it like all the little all the boys are just 14 year old boys I know it was no I'm gonna be covered up I'm gonna be turtleneck burka because I'm gonna be a young mom yeah you can't I'm gonna be the young mom you're gonna be the young mom I'm gonna like come by like Lady Chatterley's lover I'll be in a wheelchair she's like no hands shaking where's my rash cream I'm gonna keep you young baby anyway here here's the point the the like in the razor's edge and a feeling of home yeah are both trying to convey

a deep spiritual truth which was embodied in spoiler alert it was embodied in I think one of the last lines in a feeling of home which is I can't remember name the the star she has she's a blogger which they called a web what was it a web entrepreneur she's a vlogger is actually what she's a vlogger and they call on the hallmark description it says web entrepreneur now her job she makes these videos of like menus and stuff and I guess she's been living this lie because she says that she's from New England but really she's from Texas and so she's gone home to her dad who seems like maybe he's six years older than her the casting is so weird and speaking of casting maybe less of an age difference than what we have and he's in a I mean I could be your

dad that's true I could easily have been in some ways you are I am your dad I mean I teach you about great films yeah like a good dad you are and when you're bad I you spank me like a good dad would daddy now every instant everyone just audio we was gonna be like well we don't understand like before this episode we were getting we were getting a lot of downloads after this episode we're getting like four downloads an episode anyway the point is a feeling of home ends with a brilliant line when the protagonist I can't remember name the vlogger has made the decision as generally happens in many hallmark movies which is a woman with a career who has gone to a city goes home meets some dude there no not meets reunites reunites with an old love yeah

generally either abandons her career or finds a way to bring the career to the home generally abandoned generally abandons but in this case the woman like the final line she says to her old lover is do you remember the line in time maybe this could amount to something like that's the line leading up to their big kiss that's like like I think if I had said that to you when we were like getting to get like when we were in our big love story in the beginning I think you would have been like oh shit okay well maybe like I would just be like you're a fucking android who even know you'd be like I guess this isn't like the right time for this yeah I would think that in time maybe this will amount to something but that's supposed to be like the big line that's

like the big like what's the line in Titanic when they have their arms stretched out I'm the king of the world yeah that's that I'm the king of the world of that is that line in a feeling of home is in time maybe this will amount to something but what it in a razor's edge have in common and as a lot of really great existential films have in common is there's it's not really an ending it doesn't wrap itself up no and they never really do that's the commentary it's so good yeah there's no it's not trying to like that's what's so weirdly sophisticated about a feeling of home is it it's not trying to to seal the envelope it leaves it wide open we don't know we'll kind of wrap a few things up but like the rest is open yeah and let's face it she's not gonna stay around

that fucking Texas town she's gonna go back to wherever she is from like he's either talking like Tom waits or like he does like this this is a term I can't do in a southern accent it's like a he changes his accent like over 30 times yeah sometimes he does a job where he's doing one of these and he's and the really fucking like spooky thing about a lot of these home art movies is their daddy issue city like she keeps saying to her like you get I don't know if y'all have ever been to like a traditional wedding have you ever been to one course yeah where the dad gives away that has got to be the most but to be fair you did ask my dad for permission and your mom yeah and my mom but I'm just saying I know but I wasn't like we didn't yes we'd had a wedding we

probably if we hadn't have eloped yeah and we didn't have a complete amazing hippie bonanza like we did we probably would have done that to be fair I don't my dad probably would have like walked me down the aisle I don't mind the walk down I just I think I got I was at a wedding once she's yours now that and the dad did a long speech and it was weirdly sexual you know it's like I've watched you grow with those knobby knees you went from knobby now you got bows on your hair now there's bows on your brazier yeah like exactly like that and the fucking dude who the and everyone just like oh they're crying and like but it's just like I always cry at a wedding some part of me wanted to fuck her but I couldn't and I guess you'll fuck her for me for the rest of her life it's so

creepy and put up with her bullshit I hate that thing where the dads are like welcome to hell little that you might as well a tie to scorpion your dick if she's anything like her mother I fucking hate that bitch like okay I guess you had a choice between her and a spinning saw blade because I don't know why you'd marry this dumb bitch you I made it's literally like that anyway a feeling of home definitely watch it is it working oh yeah okay yeah a feeling of home is fantastic and but I you know any any hallmark I mean I think someone out there maybe one of your academic friends you gotta do like a you I think someone could do a thesis on it like because there's so many recurring themes in them that are implicitly misogynistic and implicitly capitalistic

maybe not a thesis but maybe like a podcast you could do a easily a podcast an analysis thesis sounds boring well but I think it's worth I mean it's like because the like I think yeah there are they are boring make it digestible make it or you know it's also like a hot take article if you want to do a hot take article like a medium article yeah an assessment of phallic symbols and hallmark movies would be perfect because they all have like oh my god that was the other thing let's go through the phallic symbols and a feeling of home I can't right now I can I remember everyone I remember like stick shift the churning um something there was like something he was churning yeah well yeah it was like yeah he was sure you know it was yeah he was churning his fucking barbecue

sauce yeah so in every like it's really a lot of phallic a lot of a lot of things that look like dicks and a lot of times the the thing that looks like a dick is being moved between the father and the future son so there's a lot of like here I give you my dick you know or my dick doesn't work anymore you will have the young dick that works and like a lot of the woman being like I don't know how to I don't know how to handle this dick you know what I mean like riding a tractor I can't I don't know it's hard to do he don't do our fucking son Jesus Christ anyway it's anyway if you're looking for wonderful nihilism hallmark movies are the way to go for sure yeah yeah and you know if you're looking for like an idea a depiction of

you know an attempt at what what I think what a lot of people really do think spirituality looks like which is aloofness like being right but it's yeah no what do you see because you we both agree that when you're with a kid it's like being around god or a guru or something but if you had to describe it how would you describe it I think it is god like I really do think it's a window into into the other to heaven you think that's what happened yeah I really think that like you can see it shining through them yeah because how can I feel like I'm with I think it is I think god like stays with them for a while I think something and then eventually it's like see you later you're on your own motherfucker maybe no not like abandonment but just sort of like

I don't know well you know that's something that just like I don't want to say wears off but it's just like and and it's not like bad like that like it's not like it wears you know but you know what I mean or yeah I don't know that sounds negative too like I don't think it's negative I think it's like this really beautiful process but yeah I don't know there's something something to it that was cool about Ram Dass to me is like he was he had that newborn glow yeah but he was old you want it so like because I've had babies now like that feeling when they like when each of my children have been put on my chest after I've given birth to them like like that's how I felt every time I was with Ram Dass yeah like were you that weeping feeling

that's how I felt every time I would be with him which is hard it could be hard to be with him because of that yeah he loved you help me understand this Aaron this is something I always wonder because the last time we got to hang out with him at that table a few weeks before he died actually we were so so blessed to have I'm like movie is this gonna be no it's okay help me understand this this is something that I've been trying to decode in my mind and sometimes I get really neurotic about it and sometimes I think I get it but we're we're sitting at this table with Ram Dass and he's like at that point he's not we're not he's not like in a place where he's talking but he's there he was just as present as ever it's

not like even though it was a few weeks before he died he wasn't like he had us for wear he had a phasia you know so it took him longer to speak yeah but remember that last time we saw him it's not as if he was like he didn't seem like oh no like he was like beaming beaming it was like yeah so he or he he's doing this thing where he's looking at Aaron and he's giving you this bright beat Ram Dass smile and then he's looking at me with a most stern expression and I'm that was like my last encounter well no it wasn't because he I got this it was the Mala ceremony you know it's very sweet with us there oh yeah oh yeah I forgot that yeah but what was he saying there he was saying something what was he saying probably like just give me all the babies and he's so nice

to me forever and ever I think that is what he was saying I would get jealous probably just give me anything I want you think you're saying that yeah I think he was mocking you no you and him you were jealous I wanted him to beam at me too he beamed at you he adored you I adored him he loved you I loved him so it was more than that like he felt like you were doing a real service well the community I don't know about that at large he did remember when he stopped you and he said thank you for getting this message out to the young people don't you miss him so much it's gonna be weird to be at the retreat I know without him what can we even talk about I think so well we don't we heard we don't know if there were treats happening maybe we heard

maybe it's gonna if it happens maybe I don't think look I miss him so much yeah and I felt like I was like hit I'm still hit by like grief waves me too with that our community just like reeled from that and it was even though it's like the most expected death yeah ever you know like every retreat we did have or like the sprawl last one but it was still like we just all we just it was intense but it's I love the story talking to Lakshman now on instead of like you know talking to people who are with him and it's just hearing the stories and like we all are trading stories and yeah we haven't been with our the satsang our satsang and along since the last retreat man we're gonna when we like all come together again I think he will be like very much present

in all of that I do too yeah I do really happy we're gonna be slipping on tears of that oh god I mean we're already like a weeping mess in just normally yeah but now that's gonna be like full of all these like synchronicities and all these things that are just over the top and annoying to like even talk about like at the mala ceremony someone gave Duncan an extra mala bead and we're like we don't need one we have one and they're like it's for the baby yeah and we had been like arguing at that point if we were gonna like do another one right then and yeah yeah just all these things yeah and then tell tell the vision of and you got a vision there once well I yeah I had you saw our family I had a moment there where I mean this I don't know I mean

again like I think these miracle stories are are great and I but I know what people can take them or leave them who cares so I don't know I just had this like you know I've had a few like things I don't know any other way to put them yeah a vision and I know why I understand that word because the word sounds a little lofty but it really is just like it's something you see it's a vision it's a thing that appears in front of you one of them was during um Krishnadas singing kirtan when I lost my mom yeah and I was singing and going into that like trance you get into with the kirtan and it's a psychedelic and it's yeah it's beautiful you just and like I was like I had my eyes closed maybe I was stoned I don't remember I was seeing fractals and like but all of a sudden I was just

back with my mom in st. simon's we're at right now and I heard her say we had fun didn't we yeah and now having kids I know exactly what she meant yeah and that is what if you're if you're get a chance to say something to someone on this side of the veil that's a great thing to say and I think we have fun well yeah we have fun with our kids it's the most fun I've ever had but the other one which was wild for me was that it was like I was looking at this beautiful picture of neem crawlybaba they have there and it was like he was showing me like I want to give you this mm-hmm and it was me at the beach with like someone and kids and I remember at the time I was like I don't know with so many kids three Duncan is like a reluctant breeder and I'm like the ultimate

breeder I'm like I would have literally like five kids that's not which we're not I know I know but it's good we balance each other out it would be like it's good but like he's getting upset well no it's not I'm getting it's a but it was a cool thing because at the time I was I wasn't in a place where that made any sense at all yeah and it and also I don't think I was in a place necessarily where I would have thought of that as any kind of gift but I didn't think I wanted to like have kids like this I definitely didn't think I would want like more than two kids like I just you just inspired that in me well it's not when you get around all like you know I just I just think I understand coming from a family where a lot of people had a lot of challenging karma and if you're born into

that kind of place it's easy to model that's what families are and so when you hear people talk about family you're not like getting all warm and fuzzy you're like oh you mean like the time I had to like like numb out for a decade to not go insane right thing like that you know so when you heat so naturally you're like fuck that I'm gonna do everything in my power yeah to never have to go through that again I think for a lot of people that has a very healthy healthy reaction because yeah it could be that if you decide to start a family and we've kicked out patterns and we know I was just gonna say that's not to say that we don't struggle because like being married is very difficult and having a like parenting's young children is very difficult

so demons just maintaining your marriage in parenting is extremely difficult and if you don't have a model for that which we really didn't know we didn't at all but we have this satsang and you have like a support network that is there for you in a different way yeah so you can do it maybe but like but you know I like so it's like uh I do now that I'm getting to experience the warm glow of it and like now I now it's like another it's like another book opens up we're like oh shit that's I mean that's what they're talking about I think at the end of the day like it's it has been really hard but with us like we got married really fast and we just did it all we just went like balls to the wall and we just really ball ball to the wall for me we just yeah one ball

but um and sometimes it's like really really hard but thinking about like having fun like we had fun didn't we I mean I really couldn't do it with anyone else no way not a million years it definitely had to be you yeah you couldn't even though we drive each other crazy you couldn't do it with anyone else you could no way not you you couldn't do it with anyone I mean I could do it with many many you could no I'm making a bad joke you know what I think this is the other thing you think about God everyone's just like Jesus Christ well do you think people are vomiting now I was just gonna say we're for sure soulmate it's just to make it worse even more vomiting but that doesn't make it easy no god no you know what I was thinking earlier because I'm like just like I've got serious

fucking dad pride right out it's so wonderful to watch and so great but I was thinking to myself like god imagine like if you had the bad luck of going back in time and and or waking up as yourself before you meet the person and before like I was just thinking like you would have to try to remember every time you jerked off what I'm good at well because you would meet the person in other words like yeah but I'm just saying like say I went back two years before or a year before meeting you even six months yeah even three days yeah I would have to try to remember every time I came why because I would want to be able to come in you at the exact same time with the exact same calm to make a forest I think it's a little more than that too we've got some eggs in the mix

here yeah well I mean I don't have a control of your eggs I'm saying is like I was just thinking like my god if you were you just needed it to go exactly the way it did even though it would have been easier if we had like had a longer courtship and like gotten to know each other better and like yeah and like all of that but you couldn't yeah but you look when you when you are experiencing it you just think my god like that's how you understand what when they talk about grace that's how you understand it because you realize there's no way I could make this happen I couldn't ask for it because I didn't know I wanted there was no way it could not it was going to happen like everything right in that was going to happen I mean Duncan we like we're just it was like

we just like laid eyes on each other on each other and it was just that was it it was very magnetic done but yeah she like when she met me for the first time she didn't even look me in the eyes she looked down at my crotch and said please please let me suck your dick please I just want to suck that the night I met Duncan all of my friends were there and like two of my ex-boyfriends were there which was but anywhere it was almost like they got fuck you anywhere we went you always had an ex-boyfriend around I mean that may be true you can't walk five feet through Silver Lake without what are your ex-boyfriends how fucking dare you that's actually not true however that's not true when we were in the house you'd have to drive her

ex-boyfriends out from under the house we did we we ran we had a small group of friends is what it was yeah I mean yeah we had a yeah but what happened on the night we met I I asked to walk you outside to your uber in front of all our friends yes you did it was a big power move was that a power move I'm not a pretty big power move like there was no reason to walk a grown ass 44 year old man to his fucking age well that was your age you could say there's no need to walk a gentleman to his car or 43 at the time I guess young a sparkling lack there's no need to walk a gentleman a comedic and no crust oh thank you you're welcome to his car to his uber glad you did very unnecessary glad you did it as a hit on you it worked but then I didn't even get your number yeah but you asked

to kiss me I did and that was the cool thing none of neither of us asked for each other's number I had to find you wasn't that hard it's not I heard a private detective and I was like I met this girl she walked me we had like 16 mutual friends I had a private detective I said I met this girl she walked me to what was it oh you mean Erin she does that with every like hipster comedian silver like bullshit I'm just kidding bullshit you didn't no I love you I love you too thank you for doing my podcast you're welcome are we done we're done did we get it we got it okay all right everybody you could find Erin trestle on only fans her name is princess diamond bye everyone say bye bye thanks for listening everybody that was my dear wife Erin trestle

and a big thanks to our sponsors zip recruiter Squarespace and feels do support them because they support us thank you all so much for listening to the DTFH and I will see you next week which is a two episode week I love you until then Hare Krishna ghost towns dirty angel out now you can get dirty angel anywhere you get your music ghost towns dirty angel out now new album and tour date coming this summer a good time starts with a great wardrobe next stop JCPenney family get-togethers to fancy occasions wedding season two we do it all in style dresses suiting and plenty of color to play with get fixed up with brands like Liz Claiborne Worthington Stafford and Jay Farrar oh and thereabouts for kids super cute man extra affordable check out

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