Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 464: Jayson Thibault

Episode Date: September 24, 2021

Jayson Thibault, Duncan's friend and one of the funniest humans to ever crawl out of a dolphin, joins the DTFH! You can hear more of Jayson on his podcast, Punch Drunk Sports! You can also see Jayson LIVE September 27 with Steve Rannazzisi at The Market in Valparaiso, Indiana! Click here for tickets. Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg. This episode is brought to you by: BetterHelp - Visit betterhealth.com/duncan to find a great counselor and get 10% off of your first month of counseling! Squarespace - Use offer code: DUNCAN to save 10% on your first site. Babbel - Sign up for a 3-month subscription with promo code DUNCAN to get an extra 3 months FREE!

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Welcome, friends. This is the DTFH. My name is Duncan Tressel. I'm so fortunate that you've decided to tune into this podcast. Maybe you're on your way to a wedding right now, getting a hand job from a couple of your friends. And I can't tell you how exciting it

is to be some small part of that. I love you, and I'm glad you're here. And we have an awesome podcast for you today. When I came to LA, this was one of my very first friends. Jason Tebow, we started a sketch improv group together. We did a lot of acid together. Jason encouraged me to keep doing stand-up. And Jason was someone I literally tiered up in front of.

After bombing for, I don't know, 11 times in a row, 15 times, 20 times. Who knows how many? Jason is a dear, sweet friend of mine. He's already been on the podcast once, but it's been too long, and now he's back. So hang on and get ready for one of the funniest humans to ever crawl out of a dolphin.

And before I forget, won't you subscribe to my Patreon over at patreon.com? FordslashDTFH, you're going to get commercial free episodes of this renowned podcast, along with access to our weekly group meditation, our family gathering, which happens just about every Friday, and our Discord server, where currently we are working on a book of erotic short stories.

You could be part of that book, maybe. All you got to do is go to patreon.com. FordslashDTFH and come home to your family. Now let's get going with this thing. Jason is one of the trinity of hosts for the esteemed podcast, Punch Drunk. And if you want to see him live, you can check him out this September 26 at 7 PM.

He is going to be performing with Steve Ranizizi at The Market in Indiana. All the links you need to find that are going to be at DunkinTrustle.com. All right, here we go. Everybody, welcome back to the DTFH. Jason Tebow. Welcome back to the DTFH.

We are here mid-apocalypse. Who would have thought that I would be up in North Carolina? Where are you? I'm right outside Chicago. You would be right outside of Chicago in Indiana, and we would be experiencing this weirdness. I mean, my god, it just seems like yesterday that we're in Culver City on acid.

Now, we didn't technically meet on acid, but our first blind date was doing acid together. Triples and triples, like, you've got to meet this guy, Doug. When did you move to LA? What year? I was trying to figure this out this morning. I don't remember.

I was in the 90s, though, wasn't it? To add to that, I don't remember our blind date on acid. And in fact, I don't remember much of the Culver City stupid dummies era as much as I'd like to. And I don't know if that's because of the acid or some combination of things. Man, isn't it so odd to watch the sort of diaspora of comedy store comedians drift out across the country

after the shift in Los Angeles, the pandemic shift? Man, and our whole subculture of all of us that grew up together pretty much at the store and all that kind of stuff, it's just great. It's like a cue ball just hitting a hole, and everybody just kind of went everywhere. And then once you realize, hey, man, I don't have to have a $3,000 one-bedroom apartment

that I can barely maintain financially to do what I do. I can live anywhere and do a podcast and not live in chaos. Yeah, right. Yeah, I mean, it's like the comedy store is like some kind of satanic egg sack. Like you see those egg sacks with spiders in it, and it just exploded and sent all of us skittering across the state.

But yeah, I think there was a sort of dawning realization, not just with the comedians, but with most people. Like why the fuck do I need to live in that hyper-expensive place when I could, with the money I'm spending on an apartment in Los Angeles, I could get like in most places an incredible situation. Live much better than most of your friends that live well. Yeah, but God, that's where you really realize like fuck,

but it is all just, it's a bit of a stage. Without your friends, you're like, yeah, now you're on a nice stage in some weird show in a different town, but your friends are all not around. So you know what I mean? You just start realizing what matters. Yeah, and it kind of becomes more like work, because you would be at the comedy store improv

or hanging out anywhere. It's kind of where we just hung out. It's kind of like the bars that we hung out at. Yeah. If you didn't have a gig, you would just hang out at the store and have funny laughs and play jokes on people and shit like that. And now you're just like, you don't know anybody at the club.

You just show up, you do your set, you maybe talk to a few people, and then you just go home. Yeah, it's almost like a dream, isn't it? It feels like some bizarre shared dream that we all had that we all kind of woke up from into completely different dreams. So what's your dream right now? What's your day like, Tebe?

I mean, what are you doing now? How are you making life make sense during this weird period in our history? I mean, I think for like a lot, like the first six months of it, I think, I was like, oh yeah, this'll be over by the fall or whatever, and then it was a weird six months. Now it's almost a year and a half later,

and it kind of becomes like, how they say it, it becomes just the new normal. Like I just kind of, it took a while for me to let go that things are gonna go back to the way they were. Oh, this'll blow, you know, I lost the sense of this will blow over soon into this is now, at least in a sense of a catalyst, sort of a way.

This is going to be a long period of time that is gonna be almost evolutionary for a lot of people. It's gonna make people evolve into different people in a way, you know what I mean? And I'm not just talking about, oh, I wear a mask, or I don't wear a mask, or I'm not talking about the line in the sand between science deniers, and, but I think it's gonna mature people

in a really fast way. I think people in their 20s are gonna be much more mature through this, and I think people that were just sort of, myself, for example, I just feel like I was sort of in a way, in just sort of a rut, and it was almost like Groundhog's Day. I mean, the weather was every day the same in LA, you know, there was never really a sense of change

coming that I didn't even feel. I just kind of felt like it was the same day over and over and over again, seeing the same people going to the same places, and this kind of fractured that sort of thing and makes you kind of take a big step back, kind of like, you know, seeing a tree, you just stand at the same tree and kind of made you

pan back like a drone shot and go, oh man, look at this giant forest. I don't have to be right in front of this one tree, like. You know? You know, we would, it's like, yeah, we're getting a real look at history, like what it means to be part of history, and I remember Jason,

old people, like when I was a kid, my grandparents, who went through history, you know, and who understood the topsy's every nature of living on a planet with a shit ton of other people, and thinking like, why are they so, what's wrong with them? They, you know what I mean? Like old people have this like aspect to them,

the aspect of like, you don't understand what happens here on this planet sometimes, like sometimes massive shit happens, massive up evils, or if you've ever met anyone who has lived in another country during a revolution like a refugee, they have the same look of like, you don't get it, man. You don't get it, and you're like, relax, you're in America, baby, what could go wrong here?

You know, we're safe with everything, and so I think that post pandemic, whenever that may be, the next generation is gonna look at all of us, and we'll all have this like, that same look in our eyes of like, you don't get it, man. It happens so fast. We were just walking around, sitting around, having our drinks, doing our shows,

fucking each other, and all of a sudden, over the course of about three weeks to four weeks, everything changed completely for a long time, and they'll be like, come on, grandpa, shut up about the pandemic. So tell me about this perspective that you're seeing now, like, how is it causing you to, how has it caused you to change?

Like, do you, if you had to describe the difference between you now and you pre-pandemic, how would you describe it? I think the things that I put all my value into were, I don't wanna say shallow, but just in the light of eternity, not important. You know what I mean? Oh, I have to do this, or I have to be a part of this show,

or I have to, you know, and then you realize, oh, and also like, my sister lost her best friend to her in a car accident during the pandemic, her best friend, Tara, who I grew up with, she was like a sister to me. And then Jeff Scott died just randomly, who, you know, the piano player at the comedy store, who's, you know, we saw every day for 20 years,

we say, and you worked with him forever when you worked at the store. And then you start going, oh, man, what the fuck is going on? You know, you start to pee, and you go, shit, man, you know, I'm not, I'm no spring chicken, and I've been anything but kind to my body, I've been anything but kind to my space suit

that I get to rent for 89 laps around a star. I haven't been, you know what I mean? I'm put some bad gas in this motherfucker, you know what I mean? And not that it made me change, you know, I mean, I'm literally smoking pot right now and drinking fucking tea, but. Drinking tea. Yeah, yeah, but it's a, it's all right.

What the fuck's in the tea? Mm, I'm roofing myself. It's the only way I can beat off anymore, though. I'm kicked off so much in the pandemic, I have to knock myself out and wake up with just a mess all over the room. I go, all right, I guess I did it again. Are you sure it's you?

You never know. I don't know, no, I'm hoping. I actually, I don't even really care at this point. Do you ever remember me? No, no, actually, I don't, but the window is always open. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Is there something interfering with your happiness

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So, yeah man, that... But that's why I just think it kind of in a way, I think it made me just slow down. It made all those little things that were so important and not as important. And I think a lot of the, you know, my parents, my mothers are both getting older. My, you know, I got, you know,

I just, it just made me kind of going, okay, man, what's really important here? And that's getting somebody pregnant, Duncan. You know how it goes. Yeah, yeah, man. I totally, that's the answer. If you wanna feel younger, go have some kids. Yeah, uh-huh.

Oh my God, ever since I've had kids, I'm getting the best sleep in my life. I've got so much energy and my anxiety. You know, back when I was down, oh my God, when I was living by myself. Yeah, all the anxiety, just, it was a little late. I was, wake up, just clenched in a ball of anxiety, but now, it's like,

Jonathan Livingston-Siegel over here, flying above the ocean, free as a bird. And all the free time you must have, which is why we're doing this podcast, the date and the morning. No, actually, it's, honestly, I don't know if you're being sarcastic or not. I'm guessing you are, but yeah.

No. All the cliches are absolutely true about having a kid, man. It's like, it's the best thing ever, but yeah, everything requires sacrifice. The gods require sacrifice, they do. You must sacrifice something to get something, and there's just no way around that, man. But that really, the death thing in particular,

you know, I think that's the other thing people are experiencing and, you know, becoming acquainted with something that most of us just didn't really think that we would have to become acquainted with at the age that we're at. A lot of young people are suddenly confronting loss at a level unlike anything anyone would have thought.

Like, you know, my dad has passed on, my mom has passed on, and then all the people, you know, all of our comedian friends who have left us, Brody, you know what I mean? And like- Eric Meyers, Eric Meyers this year, some of you know, so many people. You start really seeing reality as it is

instead of the very wonderful narcotic illusion of reality that we get, that we've been being fed by almost every single data source that isn't like the news or Dateline. You know, you watch Dateline as a novelty, right? You watch these shows about murdering, you're like, God, shit can really get bad out there. Then all of a sudden, you know,

people just start disappearing, you know, and from your life. And then you start realizing, oh, okay, this is truth. This is the truth of life, which is- Well, and I think to that extent too, you know, when Norm McDonald just passed, and man, he was just the funniest guy, but also the nicest, sweetest guy. Yeah.

And, you know, our Adam E. gets one of, you know, very good friends, and I know him and Norm were super close. Yeah. He and I were kind of texting about the same thing when Norm passed us, you know, told him just, and I think it's to the point where I was saying, you know, I'm not as concerned. I mean, both of my moms, their health was great.

And, you know, so I'm not like, oh, I gotta be, take care of my parents, you know, I'm not even anywhere close to that. But what this has caused is, and in losing so many friends in just a two-year period, it's kind of made me go, oh, man, I gotta really value this time when I'm talking to Duncan right now.

Or, you know, when I'm on the phone with a buddy, I gotta be like, okay, don't be, you know, when someone's talking to you, you go, man, this might be the last time, you know, we get to hang out, you never know, man, it's so random and you go, because that's the first thing people always say when somebody dies like that.

Not when it's somebody really old, you know, with fighting cancer, and you go, oh man, thank God he's finally no longer in pain. Like a real, no way, you know, everyone's always like, I was just talking to her. I just saw him yesterday. Their first reaction is, how can they be gone? I literally had lunch with them yesterday.

I go, but that was yesterday. That was, you know what I mean? The past doesn't exist. Oh, we were gonna go see a movie tomorrow. No, you're not, not anymore, because your plans with them were in the future, which is no guarantee. And the past doesn't matter anymore, you know?

So I think, in a sense, I think it made me kind of stress and importance on being present and being in the moment. I really have found myself really concentrating on doing that, even if I'm just watching a movie by myself, you know what I mean? If I'm sitting there watching, I'm like, all right, I'm not getting on my iPad.

I'm not gonna be playing Blackjack on the phone. While, you know, I'm just gonna watch this 90 minute movie and then, you know what I mean? Yeah man. And before I was always doing 11 different things, you know? I would joke about Tripoli, because I go, he's the worst driver. And I go, whenever Tripoli is driving a car,

driving is the fourth thing that he's doing. You know what I mean? I swear to God, one time me and him were going to a basketball game. We went to a clipper game and he's driving and every time the light would turn green, I'd have to tell him, the light's green, man. He's driving.

Then I look, he was making a flyer for a show that was like a week away. What? On his phone, he's making a flyer for, I go, motherfucker, that show is next week. You are driving right now. Yeah. You know?

And I think that's kind of like a microcosm of what I'm saying where it's like, okay, I'm just going, you know, I'm going to be doing this right now. And you and I were talking a lot about this, but I think golf, the only thing I could do during the pandemic was golf. And I think that kind of really,

I go, okay, I'm just gonna turn my phone off. I'm playing by myself. And maybe I'll listen to a podcast and I'm only doing this for three and a half hours. Yeah. And when I would get done, I go, man, I feel really great. It's not because I play good. It's not because I, you know,

got hammered when I golf or anything. It's because I literally just spent three and a half hours not disturbed by anything and just being present. You know, it's why meditating is so key to it. Everybody says it and everybody scoffs at it. Yeah, okay, whatever. But I'm like, it's, you know, nobody's ever been like, man, I'm meditating

and I fucking felt like shit. And then I'd fucking punch somebody in the face right after this. My life started falling apart when I began to meditate. People do, but there is a thing that can happen when you start meditating. That is, you definitely won't hear it when people are pitching that you should start meditating,

which is that kind of sensitivity to reality emerges. It's pretty, pretty intense for people, you know, like. Right. It can be intense. Like the, I think I was just reading an Alan Watts quote that, you know, if you're- Yeah, of course you were. If you're expecting higher states of ecstasy

or happiness, then you should also expect, you know, that your capacity for suffering is going to increase. You're, you start loosening whatever that invisible wall is around your heart. And I think that's what meditation, one of the things that it begins to happen with it. And then you got to start dealing with like the really brutal reality that other people

aren't just as important as you. That other people experience life just the way you do. That other people wake up in the morning and feel the same feelings that you feel, you know? And I think, I'm, I think that really is like for some people an alien experience to really connect with that. Not like, like in your head connect with it,

but you know, it connect with like that fucking stranger and the grocery store you're looking at. That person wakes up in the morning exactly like you, gets sad just like you, has heartbreaks just like you. And that for a lot of people I think is really crushing to deal with that much joy and horror in the world. Right? Like you, how do you, so when you start like meditating, you get a little bit more of a capacity.

Even if it's a, even if it's just like you turn that, whatever that radio volume is up, just a little bit, man. That's enough to make people when they're sitting, just tears, just start pouring out their eyes as they like taste the thing that generally you only taste when you get the phone call. You know, when you get the thing of like, yeah, they were in a car accident and they're gone.

But that can also happen. That doesn't have to happen. That's happening right now. You know what I mean? The phones are lighting up all around the planet with those phone calls every single second. Phones buzzing with, hey, yeah, we're, you know, and then like, what?

So that's one layer of reality that I think there's, it's good to be acquainted with. Sure. Yeah. And I think everybody, you know, I was talking about Tate Fletcher, not too long ago, and he was, we were kind of talking about the same shit. And he said something, I go, man, that's interesting

that he goes, every single person that you ever met or ever know or ever will know, including just people you pass on the street and including yourself has a completely different version of who you are. Yes, that's it. So you're never the same to anybody. I mean, there's a lot of people that think

I'm the biggest asshole in the world cause they only met me one time. Yeah. Or I was in a bad mood when they walked by me and I brushed up against them. I went to watch where you're fucking going. Something like that. I'm the biggest asshole in the world to that guy.

And because that's all he ever knew about me. You know what I mean? So it's just like, you know, are you talking about, wait, you're talking about David Leslie, that dude who you used to stalk? Well, no, no, no, I killed him, by the way. And I also got to make the phone call. You know, these people think this about you

because it's not just like you're brushing against them, man. No, no, no. You're breaking into their house, wearing their clothes, leaving pictures. Well, he was getting up to pee in the middle of the night and he'd be brushing against me in his hallway. And he goes, who, why are you in my house? I go, get the fuck off me, bro.

So that's 60 to part, 60 to part asshole. He goes, who are you? Put on a mask. That guy thinks I'm a fucking asshole, Duncan. You can't do that, man. You're not supposed to go into people's houses. You know, but- Yeah, now I know that.

And now I'm a better person, but that's COVID has changed that a little bit. You know, I gotta tell you, gifts to the pandemic. You know, it used to be my favorite thing to go into a stranger's house, you know this, get some apples, get whatever fruit they have around, some bananas, you know, smash them up in a bowl and just-

Feed the dog, feed the dog extra. Well, feed the dog, you know, after I rest my cock in the pulp of the fruit, I just, you know, it would relax me. I just like to sit on their couch with my cock resting in a bowl, they're smashed up fruit and then feed it to their dog. And you know-

Sure. Now, when I do it, like I really try to be in the moment because I used to sit on and look at my phone when I was doing it, but this is the gift of the pandemic. Seeing how many likes you got while you're in the middle of doing something important. That's so funny. There's probably literally serial killers who are like,

you know, when I was strangling the life out of somebody, I'd be thinking about the next person I was gonna kill and now I'm fully there with them when I kill them, you know, appreciating every bit of that wonderful moment. Thanks to the pandemic. Do you think you could kill somebody? Yeah, sure.

How often do you think about it? You know, technically, I'm not supposed to talk about it. Like my lawyer said, I shouldn't talk about that, but I don't think about killing people that much, man. I really don't, but I do think I like to fantasize that should it be down to the, I mean, like, I do think that's one of the weird violent qualities of becoming a parent is like,

I would insta-kill someone who was like- You immediately have that animal instinct in you to do anything it takes to protect your offspring kicks in. Yeah. That's what I was gonna get at because in all seriousness, because I know you and I have talked about murdering a lot of times, but off record. But when you become a parent, that immediately,

it's like a light switch that comes on on you. And you would agree, I would, I assume, you did not have that in you before. That fantasy like, man, if somebody came at these, I would have fucking have to fucking kill somebody. Well, I didn't have the thing, the thing you have as a parent, which is like, if it came down to me dying or the child, my kids dying,

it wouldn't, I wouldn't spend any time thinking about that. You know, like I would just die for my kids. There wouldn't be a quantum, there wouldn't be like, it's like an instantaneous like, oh yeah, you are the thing that is more important. So theoretically, I guess you could extrapolate that. Yeah. If like, it can't part of defending them or something

involved like hurting someone else who's trying to hurt them. Yeah. I think that's a pretty obvious reality that is probably a primordial thing. Like, I mean, what's the number one thing you're supposed to do when you see baby bears in the woods? Hug them. Go up and hug them.

Isn't that right? Comb their hair really technically, but hug them. Not even a brush, a nice comb. Oh yeah, you're like so sweet. No, because their hair gets all snaggly, you know. And then if the mother bear comes out and sees you combing the baby bears, the mother bear will generally bring you like gifts

from the forest, like a rabbit, pelt or gold. They'll do tricks. I thought they did. They'll do tricks for you. They'll do tricks. Yep. And you're supposed to get, to fend, I could be wrong about this,

but to fend off a angry mother bear, but you know what it's supposed to do? Cause I'm out here in the woods. Well, so are you. You should know that you have mountains. You put your nose as close to their nose as you can and you make loud noises. But, it's not noise, it's butt.

If to scare it off, you have to make loud noise. Is that what you're saying? If you scare off the bear? Yeah, you got to get right in their ass and like blow or make noises in their ass. It scares the shit out of them, man. Okay, so you get real, you make a lot of loud noises as you approach them and then you just blow into their butt.

Yeah, spread. You got to spread the cheeks and they go, man. They will launch into the woods. Yeah. I'm a jot, I'm jotting that down. Save your life, man. That's what got Grizzly Man killed as he was like blowing in their face.

Well, I noticed scare off alligators. You're supposed to lay really still in the water. Yeah, I think it's so terrified, dude, by that. Yeah, it's the opposite of what you would think. Yeah. When you're traveling to a destination where you don't know the language, it can be challenging to accomplish

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especially if the place you're going speaks the language that you learned. Thanks, Babbel. Now, how many times have you, in the course of your life, how many times have you been attacked by an animal? A punch of goose in the face once. I just slapped it. I just slapped the goose because it was like I was mowing the lawn.

And this, you know, geese, especially Canadian geese, they'll come flying at you with their heads in the air. And it kept doing that, kept doing it. And it doesn't, they don't bite you. They don't do anything. But finally, I just slapped it across its face. And it died, it died. No, it did not.

No, no, it didn't die. I don't think I've ever been attacked to goose to death. That would be badass. Let's see. I mean, you know, dogs here and there, not a lot. Oh, I have a funny story about you. Speaking of, you know what it is? The message I left for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Duncan used to always leave me these voicemail messages and he would be sick. It would just be improv off the cuff, just like he does on the show, like the stupidest fucking song. And it would just, and he would just sing. He would sing a song all the way until it just beeped and it would end.

So you would never know how the song would end. He would just sing the whole time. He calls me one time and this is your song for data. I never forgot it because I listened to it so much. This is the exact message that Duncan leaves me. She's the oldest witch in the forest. And she's casting a spell on you. And she's, oh shit, there's that dog again.

And then the message just ends. So you must have been attacked by a dog at least once because in the middle of a song, you were terrified of a dog again. Again, it was the key word. Yeah, there was so like, that was when I was living in that fucking puke palace by the comedies.

By the comedies? Yeah. Everybody that lived in there were just complete fuckwads. You lived in there. Ari Shapiro was your neighbor. Yep. Holtzman lived in there. Eric Marino lived in there.

Yep. Somebody else, it was just all the, no offense, I mean, it's in a nice way. The shittiest fucking people you can fucking name. So there was no parking there. And this is in fucking West Hollywood. So if you wanted to park, you had to drive way up the hill by all these mansions.

And they hated you parking up there. They fucking hated you. And like I had this shitty car that I would park in front of this mansion and it would just leak oil all over the fucking road. They hated me. And I was walking, so I'd walk from there to the apartment. And I think probably is part of a way to discourage people

from parking up there. I don't know, there's these like assholes who had dobermans or like, not do- There were just- There was one? There was one people who had a cobra pit. I remember the cobra pit. Yep.

Yeah, they had a fucking cobra, wild cobra pit, which sucked in- Yeah, it really sucked in. Yeah, we lost a lot of comics to that pit. And there, we, yeah. But yeah, so I'm just, like I, there was a dog that would just get out and just chase chase me.

Yeah. So I'm like, I'm wifely walking down the fucking road. Like a total dumbass singing some song to you. And then this fucking streak of darkness rushes out of the fucking, like this yard and just, just tried to attack me. The thing it nipped me in the ass once. Oh, okay.

So there's one animal you got attacked by. Yep, that's one animal I've been attacked by, for sure. I got it, you know, I've, you know, I don't know if it categorizes as like an attack. You know- Here it comes. It's- It's-

It's- It's- It's- It's- You know, I was, I, you know, prior to the pandemic, when my surfing career was really taken off, I was doing that.

I was like in Hawaii. And I- I remember. Yeah. And I got pretty injured. A fucking orca just like jumped out. And I think it was intentional. Knocked me right off my board on a 30 foot wave.

And like, you know, right into another whale. So it was like a set up or something like one, one. Yeah. One guy- Then I got the orca set up. So that, you see those whales and you- They do that though, because they attack in twos. Exactly.

They're, yeah, they're like- Yeah. And one of them knocks it off and then the other one, when you get in the water and then it pats you down at the bottom of the sea with his tail. Yep. And you, so you, they're not as soft as they look. You see them and they look like,

you think it'd be like a trampoline or something, but it's really fucking hard and really cold. And it chills you when you smack into it, which sort of knocks the breath out of you. And yeah, and I just got super lucky and grabbed onto my friend's surfboard who had just caught a wave and he pulled me in or I would have died. Wow.

And that, that was the end of your surfing though, right? No, I can, in my book, I say that's when my surfing career really started. Oh, well that makes sense, I guess. Yeah. I mean, all of your chokies and whatnot. I'm not going to let a whale incident get me out of the sea. What was the name of that book?

The whale incident? They say it's the next end of thin air. It's getting great reviews. Oh, how about it? So, when we were friends, were you into golf? You were, weren't you? Are we not, I'll be not friends. No, I mean, I know what you mean.

I know what you mean. I, you know, just like, not in the same way that I understand it now. And, and appreciate it for what it's for. I was, I was a, you know, five, six time a year golfer who would just, you know, drink 10 beers and knock it around a little bit and not really care too much. I want to thank my lovers at Squarespace for supporting this episode of the DTM page.

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Again, that's Squarespace.com forward slash Duncan. Use offer code Duncan to get 10% off your first order of a website or a domain. Thank you, Squarespace. Do you think it's the of all the sports and maybe this is just a lame question. Do you think it's the most psychedelic sport? In that sense, yeah, I mean, I think mentally you can really get deep into it. You know, it's also probably the only sport where you could do psychedelics while you still play.

You think you could microdose mushrooms. No problem and have a great time. I don't think you could do fucking three hits of acid and do anything functionally. No, I don't either. I think you would be completely destroyed. I think that would be a waste of acid. But I think you could, you know, I love smoking pot and playing golf because I think it just kind of chills me out that I'm just like I said,

I just put headphones on. I don't usually I play alone. So I'm not talking to anybody. I'm just kind of, by the way, I'm baffled that you're, you're golfing. I think it's post midlife crisis. I think it's a lot of us. Maybe that's why all of us are doing it. I think it's a sign you're on the other side of your midlife crisis

because you're like, once you start playing golf, you're like, I'm not cool. And you're like, I'm just not going to be cool now. I'm not, you know what I mean? I'm like lame. They make you dress like I'm having to dress like all my fucking dads, friends. Like you just want to go out there. You got to put on these stupid fucking taggy pants and like a dumb shirt. And you're like, what am I fucking doing out here?

But then also that I think what's interesting about golf is on the outside. It looks like the most boring thing you've ever seen in your life. You watch people doing that. And I spent the longest time thinking about it, putting it on the TV, analyzing it, trying to like understand what the fuck are they doing? It looks like a mistake. It looks like something that, you know what I mean? It looks like a job.

It looks like a shitty job where someone's like, I need you to move this ball way down my lawn, way down the fucking lawn. And and and but I need you to use the most stupid tool to move that I'm going to give you this weird fucking hammer thing. And I want you to move this fucking ball for four hours down my ridiculously fucking long lawn. And so I would watch it and just think, wow, I guess it's like, you know, some kind of hysteria like in in in, you know,

the costuming and all of it just struck me as a kind of like failure of humanity as a whole. Just a complete like just like one ant death spiral. You know, like you see these, no. But then I would think I'd take the golf cart. Like I would love to get stoned and ride around in a fucking golf cart. And I considered getting tea times with friends and pantomiming playing golf without clubs, just to go ride around on the field.

To one time, one time I was playing golf with Steve Reynolds, easy. This is a long time ago and Pete C. Steve Reynolds, easy. My buddy Jay Rogers, Ari and something. And Jason Delearn came along and did just that. And he was in like the group behind us. He pantomimed. He just was along and just was in a golf cart, drinking beer and smoking pot. And just went for it was like that Uber ride through the woods.

And so we didn't see him for like three or four holes. And then finally we got kind of jammed up and then their cart pulls up to learn as only a shorts on his shoes and socks are gone. His shirt is off and his arms are like way in the back of his head like this and he has a beer in his hand. And he goes, dude, this is fucking golf. This is fucking incredible. I go, no, you're being driven around through the woods drinking

and somehow losing clothes. We are golfing. You are getting drunk in the woods and driven around and somehow losing garments left and right. Yes, as I saw you had shoes and a shirt on. Yes. I mean, this is the what's somebody someone just told me. Let me look it up. The Mark Twain. You know the Mark Twain? Oh, yeah.

That golf is a it's a good walk ruined. Yeah, golf is a good walk ruined. But so but I think again, it's like from the outside. Every bad thing someone would think about it makes sense. Also, you know, when I was coming up, it's like my dad desperately wanted to get me golf lessons. And I was just going to ask if your dad golfed. I love your dad. Your dad is a wonderful guy.

Yeah, he golfed. Thank you. And he he loved it. But, you know, it's like you see you're a kid and you're like, God, Jesus, you're he's going out with these fucking, you know, shopping center developers. You know what I mean? You're you're wearing these pastel. You there, T.P. Uh, can you hear me?

Yeah, it's OK. I can hear you now. Anyway, the point is, you know, like you would see I just got a negative connection with golf and like, you know, fucking. I did too forever. I hated my past. Dells shirts. Yeah. And I always hated a lot of people with, you know, I always had it

like this, like my problem with golf wasn't golf. It's almost like kind of like, yeah, you say, like I'm almost like I don't hate the Dave Matthews band as like their music. Yeah. If you hear one of the songs, you go, OK, I hate their fans. I hate, you know, it's like those are the people that give them the bad name. So I hated all the people that were associated with golf more so than I did, than I didn't like golf. But then once I realized, hey, man, I can play alone

and make this my own fucking thing in my own fucking way. And then it became really quite enjoyable to me. And then after a while, then I started kind of like with certain I like playing with certain people, you know, there's a lot of people. There's more people I wouldn't want to golf with than there are. I would want to go. Well, yeah, but you know what, like the couple of lessons I've taken once you get underneath that, like, whatever the fuck the golf thing is,

you just realize, oh, this is a junkie. Oh, I'm just hanging out with a junkie. Like in the jungle, you know, it's like they're just like the healthiest junkie you'll ever meet because they have the exact same addiction. But it's for like being outside and playing this game. But the frenzied, like once you let once they start talking about it, it's crazy how how like how much these are like, go take a golf lesson. And just just if you've ever met a junkie, think about them

and then look at the person you're with is they're like, you know, expounding upon like they're basically talking like somebody you about like like anyone like who's seen an angel or something. You know what I mean? They're like, you don't understand if this is the metaphor for existence itself. This is more than the greens. It's a pathway to liberation. You know, they're the funniest, the funniest tax

where you were texting me about golf and that you're golfing. Oh, man, I can't believe you're playing golf with me. Yeah, it's fucking super cheap. So cheap about that for this. It's very expensive. That's what I think is great about it. Yeah, it's like very cheap. It's very accessible.

They make it really accessible. But yeah, I don't know, man. I'm just like like at this point in my life, especially with kids, I need an addictive thing that is going to get me outside and like, you know, it's so I and also I think just like in general, like always having something you're trying to get better at, you know, is so it is a personal thing where you're kind of like through time, you see progress and you go, oh, man.

And then once you kind of, you know, everybody, everybody's style is sort of different. I kind of, you know, a lot of ways you can almost equate it like MMA or something. You know, what I would do in a situation isn't what you would do in a situation. Yeah, right. You know, yeah, it's the same means to an end. And it's fucking hard. And it's like, it's really hard.

So it's like that. So that I think like the always like having a thing in your life that is. On paper, kind of like meaningless, you know, or just sort of like not related at all to what it, whatever it is you may do, having a completely different thing that you for the only because of some weird thing your heart is telling you, you start messing around with it and then trying to get better at it. I think that improves all the other qualities of your life, too.

Right. It bleeds and everything else. Yeah, you know, yeah, it's a commitment towards something, which if you have zero commitment towards anything, you don't have a relationship with commitment. And then once you have a relate relationship with commitment, then it becomes then it becomes applicable to other aspects of your life, but you can't you can't have it something if you don't have something. If that makes any fucking sense.

I'm playing. Well, I'm doing it. Let me do a quick plug here, Duncan, and then we'll take a quick commercial break. But only to bring it up. Ren is easy. And I are doing a gig together September 26th. He rent is easy, which is a Sunday night, early show, seven o'clock and Valparaiso, Indiana at the Comedy Lounge, Market Lounge and Comedy Club.

So a big 400 seater. So get tickets to that. Duncan will tweak the link to that or whatever. Or you can just look on any of my social media for that. But the next day he and I are, yeah, so please come to that. If anybody's in the Chicagoland area, me and Ren is easy. But the next day, he and I are golfing at this place where I'm a member. That's why I get to golf the most of a member in a place.

I could play every single day. Yeah. And he and I are going to golf and he he's in that group of all of our friends. That's fantastic. He's fantastic. Court and account is unbeatable. I mean, he's going to shoot in the 60s at any course. Jesus.

But Ren is easy. He's going to shoot in the 70s. He's really, really good. So we're going to play. He's going to give me 18 strokes. So he has to beat me by more than 18. That's double what it usually takes for you, right? Sure, of course.

Oh yeah, usually. I'm a nine stroke kind of guy. But, and then here's what I propose is, what do you think about this? This is what the bet I say the bet is. Loser can't talk to his two sons for one year. That's so stupid. That is what I said to him. I go, dude, but that's, I mean, think about it.

I couldn't talk to your kids for a year. Did that would be fucking so fucked up? I haven't talked to his kids in the last three years. It's so dumb. That's funny, man. Look, do you need, do you need to take a break? No, I was just joking. I was giving you a little wind out for a commercial.

Hey, we are. It's our, we're already past the halfway mark. So wait. So, but like to get back to the, and we'll plug that up front, if you remind me, to get back to the, um, this idea, the other thing that I think is interesting about golf, at least for someone like me is there's no possibility of it being anything more than me hitting a ball. You know what I mean?

So it's got the perfect meaninglessness to it. Or you know what I mean? There's, in other words, like, you know, some things you're, you, you're trying to get good at, you might have some financial reason. You know what I mean? Some career ambition with the thing like, all those people are 12 years old. All those people that have any ambition of making money at this are already good and they're already 13 years old.

Exactly. So all of that bullshit right out the window. So that means that you, there's a purity to the fuck it. Like there's like an existential purity to the activity, which makes it like almost a holy activity. And I don't mean golf. I mean, any fucking thing that you begin to pursue and you've abandoned all the notion of receiving something from it.

Yes. Yes. Which is even can be a claim. It even can be everybody talking about how great you are at it. Even that is something that people, I want everybody to be really impressed with this. You are solely doing this for the act of doing it. And in that way, it's an act of kindness towards yourself.

Yes. Towards you getting outside, towards you breathing good oxygen, towards you getting away from all of your devices that are just melting your fucking mind from you to stop playing video games for fucking three hours for you to get away from everything and just connect to really earth. All it is is a game of not going to ball around the planet and making you go out and do it. Yeah.

Yeah. I think like you, every single person should have not golf necessarily, but something in their life like that, you know, like, or like, you know, um, like even fucking gardening, even gardening, which I think is another great example. It's a great example, but you're still getting a profit for you're still getting food out of it. You know, like having a thing like I'm thinking you're getting a connection with the planet.

You're getting a, you know, I'm, I'm more the thing I like the most about, about it was what I'll play in the morning by myself. There's nobody out there but me, nobody but me. And it's all the deer running by and the beavers and the fucking all the different kind of plants and birds. And I'm always taking pictures of these trees that are like, fuck, 300 years old and they've been on that property forever. And you go, fuck man, this is fucking so cool to be out.

I mean, when else do you get to do shit like that? Not to mention you get to drive the fuck go card around. Yeah. The go card though is still for me, the theoretically the best thing about it. I'm not even like, I don't even know when I'm ever going to actually play go play the game itself. I'm just like learning how to hit the balls, the fucking, I'm sorry, y'all. We're talking about God, the stance is fucking so like, that's the other thing.

When I took my first lesson was like, this is kind of painful. And then the other thing it's awkward and also it is exercise. Like I would watch golf and think that's not fucking exercise. What is like pool? It's like calling pool exercise. You know what I mean? But it's fucking exercise too. Like you actually you were contorting your body in this like strange

position that's so awkward. Yeah, it sucks. You know, it sucks. Now that I think about it, it sucks. I'm done with it. Are you going to quit? No, after we just said that, I'm going to fucking you got me, you got me fucking bonered out just to get back into my surfing game.

Yeah, for me, that's always going to be my first love is like, you know, putting on the wax and the board, you know, when I met you, you were you were at a big thing about you were like, oh, I'm the best sword swallower in Asheville. And then you were always swallowing swords. I remember you remember that shit? Yeah, you had a big sword swallowing thing for like a long time. Yeah. And you know what?

I that title was taken away from me. Yeah, by who? That's when I left Asheville, actually, is just because at the time my ego just couldn't stand it. You ever think about getting back in the game with that fucking mouth ears? Well, yeah, you know, actually, and I mean, I don't I'm not trying to like I'm my condolences to their family. But yeah, you know, Peaky Martinson rest in peace.

He was the number one sword swallower in Asheville. And he like got an over sharpened cemetery. Oh, yeah. And yeah, I mean, that's why they made those illegal. That's why they made those illegal. No, he wasn't. It wasn't swallowing at the got him. Oh, he was cleaning it and he got it.

Um, his wife was cleaning it for him. And I guess it accidentally like slid into the other room from her hand or something. I don't know. I don't know all the details, but yeah, apparently like, yeah, like she accidentally stabbed him three times with it in the chest. Very simple. Yeah.

Some of the thing happened to my grandfather. But let me say your grandfather. There's Elliot Smith. Yeah. Remember when we went and saw him back that day before he died? Remember when we started that fake fight? Yes. We went and saw Elliot Smith at this place in Los Angeles.

I feel so blasphemous about that. I didn't know what I was doing. Well, and he'd wound up dying, you know, you know how he died. But when we're sharpened cemetery, but he, uh, was playing and he was playing. You know, I think it was on heroin. I was like, I'm almost nodding off. I think he was on heroin. Maybe he just, maybe just had some of my tea.

Maybe he just had some of my tea. Oh, yeah. I don't feel like roofing himself backstage. It could have been super hungover, but, um, he wasn't right. I'll say that. But, and then, but you would go upstairs to the out. There's like a patio upstairs and it was projected onto this giant wall. So if you went upstairs and there's a bar upstairs and here we

just need to be in the outside air and you could smoke pot or smoke cigarettes up there and then, but you wouldn't miss the show. But you could see into the first, maybe 10 rows of people on of where this camera was shooting the stage. And you and I had everybody up there on the patio. I'd convinced you and I had to go into that section and start a fake fight with each other so that everybody, everybody upstairs could watch would see us have this fake fight and share his shit.

Man, man, you walk. Got about right where we thought we would be in the view of the camera. Started pushing each other, got each other in headlocks and all this sort of shit. And I don't think he was playing at the time. I think it was like an intermission heroin break or something, but you could still see that crowd and there was like, Oh, DJ players and shit. And you and I got into this fake little scuffle wrestling match.

And then we went back up to the patio wondering if they had all seen us. And really feeling like idiots. And then right when we walked out onto the patio, everybody was clapping for us. We were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it worked. It worked. That show is so fucked up. Like the, the, I forgot about that. I told you.

The one thing that I took away from it is like that the, how like his self destruction that he had romanticized in his music was fueling his audience. Like his audience wanted him to kill himself subconsciously or something. You know what I mean? Like they liked, you know what I mean? Like he couldn't stand up. He, I remember he had to sit on a chair. Like I can't remember what it was.

Some weird fumbling with the guitar, the things that make us suspect shit. He might have been high. Even though at that time apparently it's over. Well, yeah, he didn't look like, I mean, it's got to be just an insurmountable amount of stress and pain when your sadness becomes your identity, because then if you ever get happy, then who the fuck are you? God, if only, but that would have been, if suddenly his music had become super happy and like it would have been the funniest, coolest thing.

But, but like that, that relationship between that particular sort of artist and their audience being able to, I mean, he, any buddy that is feeling more or feeling any like sadness or any, you know, you get to you go, man, this music really scores my life right now. I'm going to identify with this. And then you put it, you kind of put that music away a lot of times when you, when you're not in that sort of dark place. But, you know, when you reside in that dark place, when that's all you know is

that dark place and on top of it, if you ever venture to try to leave from that dark place, well, then what am I going to create? Well, then who will I be? Well, then, you know, so you almost get a Stockholm syndrome in your own creative endeavors when those, when the, when the soil that that art is planted is darkness and sadness and suicidal thoughts. Well, of course, that's the fruit that's going to grow out of it. But if that's the only thing you know how to plant, you, you, you don't even know who

you are. If you were, we're, we're going to try to find peace or try to find happiness or try to, you know, you can't, you can't, um, people, I think, always, um, try to make synonyms, the life experience and an art artistic experience and whatever your life experiences is, is where you're going to create art. Yeah. So don't think that, oh, I started creating from this point when I was super happy. So I have to be super happy to be creative.

No, right. You just have to be human and present. Right. And I think he, he just thought I have to be this guy. And that's it, you know, that's a, it's a, it's a, it's a perishable product. Dude, it's bad enough to be addicted to fucking heroin. Like, you don't need your money. Yeah, you know, it's bad enough to be addicted, but then tied into that addiction

is an actual like business model that you're fucking, it's not just you. It's like all the people you're sustaining probably from the commissions and stuff. You know what I mean? It's like, you know, so, so no one's going to go to somebody like that and be like, you know, I think you should do more heroin for this album. No one's going to like overtly say it, but you are going to know, like, well, the people really love the album that was clearly just a love song to my addiction. And so in the new newer shit, doesn't quite have that resonance.

So now you've got the perfect excuse to like, if you did sober up to start getting fucked up again, it's so sad. It's such a tragic thing, man. And also, I just think like that's the other. I remember on that fucking Elliot Smith mural that so many people like that would inevitably get defaced. Somebody had written on it. So his music is a trap.

And like that, I agree with that, man. Like it's like, it's so sweet. It's so beautiful. But you know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of that fucking Cobra Pit that was up there. It was up by the apartments I used to live at because yep, yep. The Cobra Pit was just surrounded by like, you know, they put different shit out all the time and, you know, cigarettes,

doubloons, just the kind of shit that you want to go pick up. And then the next thing you know, you've got a fucking Cobra in your face. You know, yeah, you don't fucking is that a doubloon? And then you go down and it's like fucking the next thing you know, you got copers all up on you. It's like Bacowski, the same fucking thing, man. You really shit and the message behind it is you can be a great fucking writer and just dissolving your bones with booze.

Or, you know, like there's so many different versions of it out there that are all just complete fucking lies, man. It's like these are human anomalies. It's it's really hard, I think, to to pull off. Successful addiction, you know, like, I think, you know, I think it's really hard. Well, like I said, I think it's I think it's you got if that's what you're trying to do, you've got to get in and get out. Because I mean, it's inherently you're talking about being creative

from a toxic place in life. So I'm doing something that's going to kill me. I mean, you know, I can write a book about what it's what's the experience to be at a fucking radioactive fucking meltdown. But I probably only got about two books in me before it's a rap. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You want to extend it a little bit, you know?

Yeah, you you can also write a book about what it was like to be at a radioactive meltdown and what it was like to fucking beat cancer. There you go. That's a great spit off. You don't got to stay at the fucking meltdown the whole time. We keep writing the same book. So this shit ends when it ends. I think you'll go back to LA. Oh, no, man, you know, I've been kind of stuck here for like the last fucking

14 months, and I think I kind of want to do the opposite of that. I think I'm going to go to LA for, you know, a couple of weeks here, weeks there. My buddy Jay just moved to Seattle. You know, Jay, yeah, he just moved to Seattle. So I'm going to go up there and see him. I'm going to come see you and my buddy, you know, John Rapone just bought a house and guess where where Asheville. What him and his wife, what's your

John Rapone and his wife just bought a house in Asheville. Yeah, they move in in November. What? Yeah. What's what you give your address? What's your address? Seven 17 American Breastway way. Right. Come Street Street. Yeah, that's he's I think he's 19.

I think he's a 19 American Breastway. Come Street, six, six, seven. No, we're going to be neighbors. That's awesome. I think so. I think I think so. But yeah, he is moving to Asheville. He just bought a house in Asheville. I mean, his wife. Wow.

That's no easy feat out here, man. It's hard to find a place that's paid for with the balloons. He played paid for with the balloons. You've got to connect us, man. And you definitely need to come visit. You've got to come up. Yes, I'm going to go there. I'm going to go come to you and go to New York.

So I'm going to kind of got to just going to, you know, obviously I'm going to go to Austin to get COVID just like everybody else did. Don't forget to pick up your COVID in Austin. I know. Um, did now do you think that's where you got it? Because you went and did those gigs. Yes, where I fucking got it. Dude, I don't know if you did something else.

That's a funny thing about it is like so. You sound like you got really sick, though, buddy. I listen to your I love your show that I'm on right now. I listen to you. I should do love to listen to your podcast. When I bought the stuff, it's kind of when I listen to pots and I was listening to the one with you in court and you were talking about, about that. Sounds like you got, I mean, cause some people, you know,

vaccinated or whatever and they had it and they were just like, oh, I was kind of sick for two days, but you sound like you were really sick, buddy. Well, I got, it was weird, man. I, it wasn't like I was super sick. It was like, uh, it was just weird. Like I, I, I, I got. What were some of your symptoms? Couldn't stop, couldn't stop lying.

Couldn't stop lying. I know I stopped. Oh, you stopped lying. No, I stopped lying for the, for about three days. And so I couldn't lie. And then, yeah, and then once I was able to start lying again, my come, I couldn't taste my come anymore or anyone else's for that matter. So now that's what you were seeing then, or that's what you were seeing.

Cause I could have been your first. When I was able to start lying again, that's when I lost my ability to taste come rough, really rough, man, really rough. Like he's sorry about that. I'm sure it offers someone like me. It's probably equivalent to like, you know, a bat losing it to, you know, sonar or whatever they use. You know, it's like, it's like, I can't spy myself around the lights.

I used to be able to, you know, tasting come, you know, where to go. You know, you know, you don't get lost when the lights go out and gals. Sure. I'm not limiting it to any particular gender. I'm just saying like, you know, anybody out there who's like, you know, experienced any, you know, subterranean. I was just fucking saying the other day to Ari Shafir. I go, Hey dude, we're kind of talking about the same thing.

And I go, Hey buddy, uh, if you ever want to fucking find come, you give me Duncan, you give me lights out. You'll find the come. Yeah. No, I know. And you know, I, so I get back up here to the mountains and there's this wonderful cave up in Pizga where they have these great orgies. So I go out there down Pizga.

Okay. Yeah. Deep in the down, like deep in the cave and you know, lights go out. Time to fuck. And so I'm like, you know, thinking like, okay, this is, I'm tasting come, I'm following it down. And you know, and I, and I, you know, I think I'm getting, you know, where I want to be, which is where I can get some more come.

Then I hit a fucking wall, pull out my phone, turn on the light. I'm nowhere near the fucking orgy. I'd followed a little underground stream way, way down into the cave. And I know I've been near the calm, not even close. I wasn't even around a person. It was just a little creek. It's a little is in your mouth. Just fish, like I guess I'd like a cave, cave fish all the way down.

Very similar taste, you know, by the way, but yeah, so, you know, it is coming back a little bit. Thank God. Um, but yeah, that was a rough, I just got like, you know, the, so what happened to me was the onset was like allergies. So that, you know, I had a show, I was going to do a show that night. Got tested to be safe. Just cause it didn't seem like anything, man.

It was just like, but fucking Austin at the time was like a hotbed. So I'm like, all right, let's just make sure. Got fucking tested positive COVID tests. So you probably have more guns in that room than masks. Dude. Yeah. Well, that's the, that's the real, like for me, the real depressing part is I think like I was Aaron and I were like, look, we can't live in fear anymore.

Let's get back to Austin. I'll do some shows, get back in the standup. We're not going to fucking live in fear. And then two days into not living in fear or so three days in, I had fucking COVID from not living in, you know, cause we sort of disregarded some of the as safe as what we were trying, where we were trying to be safe. I mean, we're being idiots or anything like that. But just like we lowered our guard a little bit.

And that was enough for me vaccinated to get a fucking breakthrough case. But yeah, it was like the after the allergy thing for I started getting like the beginning symptoms of what people report had a joints hurting. And then a little bit of shortness of breath. But the real mind fuck of vaccinated COVID is you're probably. You're probably going to be okay. I mean, the mind fuck of COVID itself is that you don't know because the motherfucker treats everyone differently.

So it might decide it likes the way your lungs taste. It might not. And so any so you have to keep taking your oxygen because you know, you don't know when your oxygen is dropping. And that's when they sent you to the fucking hospital. And I had these like nurses coming and giving me fucking IV drips. For the whole time. So they were monitoring that.

And if your oxygen drops under a certain amount, they're like insta emergency room, because you start getting hypoxia, I think is what it's called. And then you, you know, you can just fucking die. So yeah, it was scary. It wasn't like it was a brutal experience, but mentally it was brutal being separated from my kids. It was fucking brutal being stuck in a fucking hotel room for 10 days is a mind fuck, man.

That was the most brutal part is like just like the isolation. And, you know, Aaron would come to bring me like clothes and shit. She would try to come every day and like we would double mask. But just like it felt so gross and alien would not recommend it. Wouldn't I recommend getting COVID for anybody? It's it fucking sucks. And I would not want if there is an unvaccinated if like, and I do think the vaccine did what they say it does, because my, you know, I was around

my family when I was probably the most contagious and nobody else got it. And, you know, and so that was that, that to me is like, that's good news. But yeah, but it's, but still, you know, I've got like, you know, a very um, you remember what my cum tasted like? Yeah, yeah. Like, uh, like if someone put a cough drop in butterscotch. Man, I remember the first time he told me that I like made my, made my ear. But yeah, birthday card.

Yeah. Yeah, man. But, you know, so that I love that taste myself. I don't think it's like narcissistic to like the taste of your own cum. And, you know, just to wake me up in the morning, I would have a taste. How can I give somebody else something I wouldn't put in my own? No. Exactly.

It's just not, yeah. Dude, I love it. That's my favorite verse, Mark 13, seven. But yeah, yeah. And yeah. So, but I have faith that it'll, it'll, you know, it'll return. Like I, I don't know if it's just placebo or something, but every once while I'm like, there's that cough syrup taste, but, you know,

yeah, it'll come back. It'll come back. Thanks. You know what? And the only way you'll get it back is if you just keep this, you know, taking test falls, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all. Thank you, man. Yeah.

I'm joking. Yeah. It's all right. No, no, I get it. I mean, there's anything I would mess with you to taste my own cum. Well, hold on. Let's cut. I'm going to take a break.

Jason, what a joy it's been reconnecting with you, man. Can you let my listeners know where they can find you? I'll, I'll post teams tour dates at duckatrustle.com. Yeah. I'll post, yeah, post, post that on duckatrustle.com and get my comedy album Covidiot. I recorded the comedy album during the pandemic, uh, in, uh, Northwest Indiana

and maybe a little bit right before New Year's, right before Christmas. And, uh, so get that anywhere you would get music or, or a comedy or Covidiot, uh, Jason Tebow and, uh, yeah, at the team on Twitter. Um, Jason Tebow on Instagram and, you know, I usually post on my dates. Oh yeah. And Punch Shots Sports, me and Ari Shapiro, Sam Tripoli, still going strong. That's a lie coming up on our 10th year. And I feel like I'm the piano, feel like I'm the piano player on the Titanic.

Um, but, uh, uh, yeah, but yeah, give that a listen, uh, you know, if it's, uh, if you want, but yeah, get my album Covidiot and, uh, come see me and Izzizi at, uh, Market Launch and Comedy Club, Valparaiso, Indiana, September 26th, early show, 7pm. You'll be back home tasting your own cum before 10 30. Hopefully a lot of people aren't tasting their own cum right now. And, uh, my heart is with them. Jason God bless you.

Thank you so much, man. Howdy Christian. I love you, buddy. I love you, Duncan. That was Jason Tebow, everybody. Make sure you go see him with Steve and Izzizi ticket links will be at dougatrustle.com also a tremendous thank you to our sponsors. And obviously the deepest thank you, a resounding, bellowing, ape like howl of

a thank you goes to you for continuing to listen to this podcast. I love you so much. And I'll see you later on this week. It's a two podcast week. Until then. Hare Krishna. A good time starts with a great wardrobe. Next stop, JC Penney.

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