Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 523: Lili Reinhart

Episode Date: August 20, 2022

Lili Reinhart, super-famous actress from Look Both Ways and Riverdale, joins the DTFH! Lili's new movie, Look Both Ways, is available to stream on Netflix! Right now! Go go go! Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg. This episode is brought to you by: Lumi Labs - Visit MicroDose.com and use code DUNCAN at checkout for 30% Off and FREE Shipping on your first order! Athletic Greens - Visit AthleticGreens.com/Duncan for a FREE 1-year supply of vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase!

Ghost Towns, Dirty Angel, out now. It's my dirty little angel. You can get Dirty Angel anywhere you get your music. Ghost Towns, Dirty Angel, out now. New album and tour date coming this summer. Greetings friends, it's me, Duncan, and this is the Duncan Trussell Family Hour podcast. And wow, we have a high level super guest

with us here today, Lily Reinhardt is here. Now, before we jump into this very exciting episode, I wanna share something with you. New listeners, you might not be aware of the fact that I am a huge fan of this very obscure musician called Fergus Blanders. They say that Fergus Blanders is the musician that inspired Tom Waits.

Don't know if it's true, could just be a rumor. Regardless, Blanders is a mysterious person with a crazy history. His albums are almost impossible to find. And supposedly, again, I don't know how much of this is true, Fergus Blanders' music career ended when he went searching for a secret monastery somewhere in Tibet.

He was never seen again. Nobody knows what happened. And a lot of his music just vanished in the wind. So you can imagine my excitement when a mysterious anonymous email sent me a wave file that has a Fergus Blanders song on it that I have never heard before. Here's the thing, the audio quality of this sucks.

A lot of Fergus Blanders' music was bootlegged. People would bring tape recorders wherever he was performing. This was clearly taken from one of those bootleg tapes and I am thrilled to share it with you today. Everybody get ready, especially for the Fergus Blanders fans out there, for as far as I'm aware,

I never before heard Fergus Blanders' song, Abandon All Hopes Afruition. This song was taught to me by an old dying clown. And I saw him erode in Italy one night. I was there for syphilis treatment. It didn't work. Once I saw a dying clown laying in the street, his stomach and his legs bore the tire prints of a jeep.

There was nothing to be done as he sang the song to me. Abandon All Hopes Afruition. Abandon All Hopes Afruition. Abandon All Hopes Afruition. Abandon All Hopes Afruition. I've lived both ways when we crossed the streets. This guitar sucks. I need another whiskey.

If you're a hoe, feels like a kite. That you're flying in a hurricane. I'm not a hoe. I'm not a hoe. I'm not a hoe. I'm not a hoe. I am in a hurricane. Let go of that damn stream

that's causing all that rain, sing this song to the clown in your heart that chose to bleed instead of me free. Abandon All Hopes Afruition. Abandon All Hopes Afruition. Abandon All Hopes Afruition. I've lived both ways when we crossed the streets. Listen to me calling...

Thank you. Thank you. A big thank you to the anonymous listener who sent me that track. Please keep them coming. Friends, today's guest. You already know who she is, because she's super famous.

You probably already know her from the hit series Riverdale, or maybe you have caught the newest movie that she has just released called Look Both Ways, but now, by some act of divine grace, she is here with us today on the DTFH. We're gonna jump right into this conversation with Lily.

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Thank you, Loomi Labs, for your wonderful microdose gummies. We're back. All right, pals. If you happen to be in Miami and you're listening to this on the week of August 18th, this weekend, you can catch me at the Miami Improv. I'm going to be there Friday, Saturday and Sunday. That's the 19th, 20th, and 21st with the brilliant

William Montgomery. Also, if you don't want commercials on your DTFH, there's a way you can do that. Just go to patreon.com ford slash DTFH. Not only will you get commercial free episodes of this podcast, you will also get to hang out with me and your true family, the DTFH family. We have a weekly meditation and a weekly family gathering,

at least as much as I can do it with my touring schedule. I'd love for you to join us. Go to patreon.com ford slash DTFH. And now, without further ado, welcome to the DTFH. Lily Reinhardt. Welcome to the DTFH. I'm so excited to meet you. I'm so happy to be here with you and tell my friends

that I got to speak to Clancy from the Midnight Gospel. Clancy with a beard, 48-year-old Clancy, please use your imagination and you could turn me into cartoon Clancy, maybe. I don't know. I'll envision that I'm talking to cartoon Clancy. Thank you. It makes me feel better.

He's much younger than me. Now, this is something, you know, I've got to ask you about this only because it, like, completely mirrors an experience I had. Can you tell me about the movie you have coming out today? Yes. Look Both Ways on Netflix. Shh.

Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Yes. Look Both Ways on Netflix. It is, I feel, very in line with your podcast, you know, multiverse, parallel lives, all that good stuff,

sort of concept. It follows Natalie who, on her college graduation night, takes a pregnancy test and the movie then splits off into two different realities, one in which she is pregnant, she decides to have the baby and move back in with her parents in Austin, Texas, where you currently are. Yes. And while also trying to still pursue her goals, career,

ambition, you know, all the good things. And then in the other parallel life, she isn't pregnant and moves to LA to pursue a career in animation with her best friend. That is so cool. I did not wait to watch this. That is right up my alley. I love it. And when I was reading about it, I did feel like a little bit

of synchronicity in the sense that one of the creepy moments, I had many creepy moments in Asheville, North Carolina, we just moved from Asheville to Austin. I grew up in Asheville. It was raining one day. I'm putting gas in the car and I don't know how to call it, but I had this moment where I, for a second, I thought maybe my life as a comedian and a podcaster was just some kind of

hallucination and I never left home. I'm still here in Asheville. And the whole thing was like some flickering dream. It filled me with the strangest sense of dread. Like just, oh God, oh God. That would have been, I don't know if it would have been horrible, but in that moment, it felt horrible. But I feel like you could also have a flip side of that and feel

sometimes when things are going so horribly wrong in my life. And it always kind of happens when I'm driving, maybe because there's so many like driving simulation video games and stuff. That's where I sit there and go, maybe I am actually just in a simulation and there's this alien version of me that is in this body, just clicking buttons and controlling things. And I'm just this vessel that's experiencing it.

And in a way, that is a little, I'm like, that's a little comforting because it almost tells me, well, this shit's out of my hands. Right. Well, you mean you can sort of surrender to the simulation, sort of just give in to the concept that this is not real me. There's a real me somewhere else. But then you got to ask yourself, I mean, is it me's all the way down? Like when does it, when does the Russian doll version of it?

Is there someone in another simulation playing a video game of someone playing a video game of that person? That's where that trips me out. That's where I have to check out because that causes me dread. Yeah. Well, there, I mean, isn't there something dreadful about it? It's that, that, you know, simulation theory. It seems to me to be some kind of revamped version of like the old

wisdom tradition notion that this whole thing is an illusion. But it's just that with technology, right? It's an illusion. None of this is real. But yeah, within something within that sort of telescoping, never ending possibility of infinite iterations of the simulation. Yeah. At some point, what are you?

What are you? What the hell am I? What am I doing here? I mean, because it is like I look out at, I'm, I'm, okay. So when I went house hunting in LA, my goal was to find a house with a view. I wanted to be able to look out and see and, and know that I'm someone with a lot of anxiety and someone who just in general kind of can feel very isolated in my career, in my life, whatever.

I like to be able to look out and see physical proof that I'm not alone. Yes. And, and even though I live in a very quiet neighborhood and like don't see a lot of other human beings when I look out, I am looking out at the city and I see mountains and I see trees and I see houses and the notion of every, you know, out there, there are so many people that have their own complex lives that they're dealing with. And that is a comforting feeling to me.

And recently been going through just a little bit of a difficult emotional time. And I've started to sort of just be a little bit more aware of human beings around me. And, and when I'm, when I'm driving, I kind of, because I've been crying in my car a little bit, I've been driving, having to drive a lot. And I'm like, okay, this is a good, let's just cry in my car and listen to sad music and just sort of looking at the people to my left and right as I'm

driving and, and just wondering and taking that moment to think, what does that person struggle? Is that person struggling? Right. What do they deal with? And, and how, you know, how are, how do they keep going? And I think that's something that I'm on the journey of trying to connect with people about is a, is someone who, who does, you know, struggle with anxiety and

depression and a whole load of other things. How do you, how do, how does everyone just keep going? And I think, especially grief and, and, and in this movie, my character is going through when she is pregnant and does have a kid, she's, she's grieving the identity that she thought she was going to have. Like she's, her whole life changes in, in, in that moment. Yeah. And having to break from the idea of what she thought her life was going to be.

And I think I personally am also dealing with how, how my life is just genuinely not, not for better or for worse. I'm just saying my life does not, I don't know what tomorrow is going to look like. Right. And grasping the concept of I just genuinely cannot plan a damn thing because life has its own agenda. Yeah. And like letting go of that sense of control and the word flow has been in my vocabulary

a lot lately and something I, I work with a, a channeler who I call my life coach. So she's psychic. She's amazing. Her name is Alexia. I turned to her for, for everything and she uses the word flow a lot and it encourages me to let go of control and because I think control is what takes you out of being present. And, and as an actor, my whole job when I'm, when I'm acting, when I'm on set, when I'm

playing a role is to be present. And, and it can be, you know, it's incredibly hard to be present today in general, just with, you know, the little black box that's always one, one foot away that we reach to the moment we need space to fill, you know, You mean where I keep my heroin? Yeah, a hundred percent. I'm just kidding. I know you mean the phone, but you know, that's the, with acting like my acting friends, that's

the thing that is like impossible for me to like wrap my head around the, the way y'all are able to somehow and the, you know, especially acting for TV or movies. It's that kind of acting is not like stage acting, where at least there's, you know, freedom of movement or improvisation or something. I mean, it can be so technical. Like, so not only do you have to, all these balls that you're juggling, you got to memorize the lines, but not just that you got to know where the cameras are, but not just that you've got marks that you exactly have to hit or the shots not going to work.

And then somehow in the midst of all that, you have to, like you're saying, be in the moment as someone, you know, different from you. That to me, it's got to be of like outside of acid dealer, one of the most schizophrenic jobs out there. For sure. And it really, like it truly is so weird sometimes to as, as an actor and you see my fellow actors do it as well, just, you know, one minute, you're literally on set with tears streaming down your face.

And then they call cut and five minutes later, you're in your trailer eating a sandwich and you're TikTok. And then 10 minutes later, you're back on set crying again. And it's, it's this weird, constant roller coaster. And, and it can be, I mean, it can be exhausting, but also I kind of just live for it because I myself am just a very, I have, I feel that I have heightened emotions. I'm a very highly emotional, deep, deeply feeling person. I think it's called an, like an HSP, a highly sensitive person or something.

Um, you know, of course, it's a very modern term. And I, you know, also sounds a little bit condescending as if other people don't have the capacity to feel as deeply as you, but I myself believe that I feel incredibly deeply and internalize a lot. And I am very cerebral and, um, you know, mental illness has something to do with that constantly in my head, but, um, but I acting and, and kind of having that outlet of that roller coaster in a weird way is very cathartic for me. It's just like a direct channel to my emotions and my soul in a weird way.

Is it, do you, do you think of it as an escape from the, from, from the version of you crying in the car? Well, it can be, but it's also in a weird way directly correlated to that version of me because I get to the same way an artist who paints a sad melancholy painting. It's, uh, me as an artist channeling my own sadness through another, through just a different channel, through a character. You, like, so what was your channelers name again? Alexia.

I don't know Alexia, but channelers I know. It's, it's a really fascinating thing that happens to them. Like they are, I don't want to use the word possessed because there's all kind of negative connotations to that, but I don't, you know, in, in, in some, uh, mystical traditions, like they say you're mounted by a spirit. Like this thing comes into you that isn't, you know, and, and, you know, I think that they have methods to deal with that. Like there is a, they have ritual, you know, prior to allowing the thing in and they have

ways of like energetically, you know, cleansing themselves. And, but with acting, you know, even though if you ask me kind of seems like the same thing, uh, but, because it's so modern, it seems like many actors might not even think to themselves, Oh, I'm being mounted by a spirit that I've summoned via discipline. And they're just like, Oh, I'm acting. And sometimes though, when I'm like hearing about the, uh, the problems that beset some actors, you know, I think to myself, of course, of course, you're opening yourself up to this, you know, if you want to put it in like secularist terms, archetype, you're opening

yourself up to a disastrous archetype that is completely taking you over. And then like you're saying, now you're just sitting in your trailer, you know, default reality, you, and I don't know that actors are given like any kind of tools or any kind of spiritual, anything that to reckon with that bizarre pendulum. It just seems like it could be dangerous. And I'm like, maybe that's why you see celebrities constantly just on vacation. Because you just, everyone's always just on a beach somewhere, um, being photographed. And I think in a way it's because, yeah, act.

I mean, look, we're not saving lives here. So you can only take yourself so seriously. Um, and I very much try not to take, you know, I know I'm not hearing cancer. I'm an actor. And yes, artists bring so much to the world, but you gotta keep the ego in check. And, um, I don't remember where that train of thought was going. I'm glad you're bringing that up because to me, the other in my thinking about that, that strange profession, your strange profession, the, the, the other thing that

sometimes pops into my mind is, Oh, you can't really complain about it. Can you? Because if an actor, if a celebrity actor starts complaining about how, okay, yeah, sure you go on vacation, but you're in some strange Orwellian universe where now, yeah, you're on vacation, but everyone's staring at you. The cool people might ignore you out of like knowing they're on vacation. Let's not just freaking stare at them and like whisper or whatever. But some people, they don't care.

It's like spotting a wild animal. It's like seeing Bigfoot or something. And if you see Bigfoot, you got to do something. You got to take a picture. You got it, whatever. So, but, so you're, you're, you're, you, not only are you having to enter into the bizarre world of portraying these characters, but then outside that world. Whoa.

You might as well be in an alternate dimension compared to what the majority of people are experiencing. It's trippy. I'm not going to lie to you. It's so trippy and weird. And I don't, I cannot come to terms with the word famous or celebrity in association with myself. First of all, it feels gross.

It just feels like I'm feeding this gross ego monster, like this gluttonous thing. And even though, you know, you can, it depends on how much power you put into those words, fame, celebrity, influencer, what an act or whatever. But, but I try to, I, I'm like, I, I don't feel famous. Unless I'm walking on a carpet or when I, and even when I turn on Netflix and see maybe, oh, there's, there's my show Riverdale and there's look both ways. My film, it's, it's not, it's weird cause it's almost like a disassociative. Yeah.

Oh yeah. That's me, but, but okay. Cool. Moving on. Right. I don't know. You almost become desensitized to yourself because you're so overexposed to yourself. Right.

And that's something that I never expected going in the, you know, who would have, you just don't really think about it unless you're, you're in that position, how, how sick of seeing your own face you can feel and, and just your own image and, and how I know who I am in the comfort of my own home and around my friends. And it's genuinely the same version, it's the same thing that you see when I do interviews and when I'm definitely not when I'm acting, but I try to keep that performative aspect of myself only in front of the camera. I do not try to put on any persona.

That would be exhausting. I bet. I'm just, I'm fully just me whenever I can be. And then I use obviously when I'm directly in front of the camera as my opportunity to perform, but just in my regular life and walking on a carpet and then coming home. I'm the same person. There isn't this weird shade that I pulled down over my eyes and I go, okay, we're going to be Lily Reinhart, you know, but I think some people do do that in order to protect,

maybe protect themselves. And that's what you were talking about, like a channel or kind of creating that boundary or mounted by a, by a spirit or something. It's, I try, I mean, it was never a conscious thing, but I'm glad that I don't feel the pressure to perform outside of my job that I'm just me throughout my life. Okay. Do you have a place that you can think back to, and this is maybe a lame question because the idea is you could instantly summon this up.

So forgive me in advance. Do you have a place in your life where there was the fork in the road between you ending up an actor who no offense, I got very excited when I heard from you. Are you freaking kidding me? I told my wife, look at this. She's like, no way. And I'm like, yeah. So is there a place between that part of the, that part of reality that you are now inhabiting

in a place where it might have gone the other direction where you wouldn't be in LA experiencing this strange, thriving kind of life, but you'd be somewhere else. Can you think of that? It's a node where these potentialities were just standing there, sitting whatever in front of you. I mean, there's a couple, but I'm trying to think like the youngest, my, the earliest moment. And I'm almost thinking back to when, to when I was, when I was young and doing theater

and, and I first, and you know what, and I booked the role of Alice in Alice in Wonderland Junior, which was this. Wow. Yes. Holy shit. I was 12 and I was playing Alice and I was so stoked. And I think, and I'm, and I'm thinking back on it. It was, although it was, yeah, it was community theater and it was like children's theater,

but, but people were coming up to my parents and coming up to me and kind of saying, Hey, you're actually good at this and me in that, you know, 12 year old brain going, I am. Thank you. And, and sort of, it was sort of like the beginning of a moment of me taking myself a little seriously, I guess, because you can grow. I grew up being such a performer. I was like the performer kid who sang in front of my family on Christmas day. Like the annoying little, let me show dances to you, you know, but you don't actually think,

you know, especially because no one in my family is in the industry. So there's, there was, it's, and it's such a hard industry to break into. So there was no idea how you could even enter that world. Right. But being young and being told that, Hey, you actually have this talent and you could pursue it. And these people are telling me that I should. And, and it was sort of like a light bulb in a way, but a shove in that direction that maybe otherwise, if people had, you know, kept their mouth shut or if I had not done theater.

And sort of put myself out there in that way. Artistically, I wouldn't have been encouraged to actually follow what when you're that age seems very impossible. Yeah. But like me to my parents, my family, who, who would have thought I not, not me until suddenly I was, you know, driving to New York for, I wasn't, my mom was driving me to New York from Ohio for auditions. Holy shit. And putting myself in those weird casting rooms and those nerve wrecking, such imposter syndrome filled. Yeah.

Situations and, and then it just slow and then it just happened. Yeah. Totally. Hey, you know what? Nobody told me when I was in high school theater. Nobody told me you should pursue this. What would have happened if they had? I don't know.

I would have, I don't know. An Oscar today, maybe. Maybe. I don't know if I, maybe in some version of the multiverse, but you know, that's wild. You know, Ohio, are you kidding me? That's nuts. Like the, like, yeah, like a place where no one, your parents must have had zero idea how to do anything like that. And were they encouraging you at first or were they sort of like, come on, this is just a phase.

I mean, I think, and I have to sit down and ask them this question because I haven't. And I, and I genuinely am curious myself, why the hell they believed in me enough to just say, okay, she's not just this 12 year old kid who wants to be an actor and you're going, okay, sure. But I genuinely think it was the, the encouragement and sort of validation that I was getting from other people cast, you know, theater theater people and then local, local, like modeling agencies who were also doing local casting and Cleveland and it was just sort of a, this encouragement, I guess. And so they were, my parents must have just looked at each other and thought, okay, I guess we're not, we're not crazy and we're not just blowing smoke up our kid's ass. Like she's being told that, you know, because I feel like as I'm not, I'm not a parent, but maybe you like to look at your kid and go, my kid is special. My kid is talented. I certainly do.

Well, sure. And because you created them, but, but I think just the encouragement from outside sources is what led them to just go, okay, maybe this isn't so crazy. And they also saw, you know, was an old soul as a kid, super mature as a little one, just like introspective and very deep feeling and, and, you know, dramatic. And I, and I think that also that aspect of that personality, maybe kind of was, was just warming my parents up slowly to the idea that I was a performer and that that, that was not something that was a phase or that was coming out of the blue. It was like in my identity. Okay, let's talk about souls for a second. The old soul idea. We'll get away from the acting stuff and dive in.

The, the, I'm curious, only because you do have a channel or do you believe in the, that you have a soul? I do. What is it made of? Oh, yes, I think you definitely have a soul. I don't have one anymore. I sold it. But the, but what's, what is the soul made of? Like, what do you consider?

What is the, to you? What is the soul? To me, the soul, I think stems from, it's all energy, right? So we're, we're all energy. And I think, and this is an interesting point when you, if you've ever seen a dead person in real life, that person looks empty. Like if you have ever been to awake a funeral, open casket and seen a dead body. Yeah. To me, at least they look empty and almost hollow.

And maybe that's, you know, on the gross side of things because they're, they've been drained of their organs. Yeah. But I know what you mean. Waxy, statuary. Yeah. But on a, so on a different, but on a different level besides the physical, they've been, you know, preserved. There, there's just, there is no life. And so there can be bodies where bodies, but you can, you die, but your body's still there.

So something leaves, something has to go, something dies, something ends and your body is, is left there. So it's sort of, to me, inconceivable how someone could think that you don't have a soul. I'm, I'm like, okay, then what's the driving force behind life and death? How are you, how are you alive one moment and dead the next? Like what, what happens? What causes that? Yeah, it's, it's on a, you know, human level, a body, a body level. Yeah.

You can, you can get sick and die, but there's just something, there's just more. And so I think I like to think that we all kind of started out as energy and just sort of maybe, I mean, I don't know, but celestial beings floating around. I don't know what we were doing. And it's almost like a, like creator God, whatever you want to call it, because there's a million names, sort of plucks you from this, this vast sky. And basically, I like to think of it this way, as if you were just this celestial little star being this angel, this, this, this thing. And God creator, the universe said, hey, do you want to go to earth for maybe 80 to 200 years, if you're lucky, and experience every possible emotion and feeling and struggle and, and grief and joy and ecstasy and sadness? Like, do you want to, do you want to do that for just a blip, just a blip in time? Do you want to experience that?

Fuck yeah. Why would you not? So you say, okay, I'm going. And then your soul, your soul is sent, is sent to the earth and inhabits a vessel. And, and then you just go, then you just go from there. God bless you, athletic greens for supporting this episode of the DTFH. First, some anecdotal evidence for the power of athletic greens. When I drink athletic greens, it's like my body is singing.

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And especially because I was talking to a rabbi friend of mine and I was like, I'm reading this cobalistic stuff. He's like, how are your dreams? And I'm like, oh, no, it doesn't mention in there. It gets into your dreams. But the one of the one of the ways that they you just described it. That's what's so cool. You are an old soul. You remember a little bit, but at least according to this, there's a thing called the columbarium of souls.

Columbarium is a fancy name for birdhouse. I had to look it up. And in the birdhouse are all the souls that are to ever to be born. Now, before I go on with that, I must say, you don't have children yet. But if you ever decide to, your idea that it's a floating situation prior to birth will be confirmed because babies, they'll just go off a couch. It's like they think they can fly. It's like they remember a little bit or something and they don't understand gravity yet. But that being said, columbarium of souls is an angel.

Plucks this each soul out and drops the angel to the earth or to the soul to the earth. The soul descends into the womb of their mother. And when the last soul is dropped from the columbarium of souls, that's when the Messiah will return. Meaning that every person on earth is like a link in a chain leading to paradise, leading to, you know, the, I don't know, redemption of the planet or something like that. I love that idea. I just like the term guff. It sounds cool. But yeah, you got it.

Sounds like a Lord of the Rings concept or something. Lord of the Rings concept or a great name for like a trucker character guff. But regardless, it's a cool sounding name. The old soul thing. Some, one of my, someone I've worked with spiritually thinks that anyone being born right now is like somehow like, like, I don't want to say extra special or create a hierarchy of special lives in this world where there's been so many lives. But the idea is if you are so nuts that when that being says to you, hey, do you want to get, you want to go dropping down into this planet? You want to go experience a planet you're going to feel sad, happy, lonely. You're probably going to starve or run out of water or be incinerated by a nuclear blast.

Or you're just going to deal with a background hum of the stress of some future instability caused by the myriad of things that are causing it. Anyone who's saying yes to that is saying yes, because they think they can help. Is that what you mean by old soul? You ever play around with that, that idea of like, wow, I wasn't just that I came down there for an experience. I came there to do something. That's a good, I mean, I never thought of it that way. To me, old soul has always maybe been, I mean, it was like a term I heard growing up when adults would throw that at me. And I'd be like, okay, that just means I'm mature and maybe not as happy of a stupid of a kid as the other ones around me.

But to me now, the old soul concept means that I've been here a couple times and that I've had past lives and that I've... I have returned to the earth multiple times getting higher and higher in frequency because I don't think it's a coincidence that I have been called an old soul my whole life. And then really what I find to be a young age, which is 23, was when I really had my spiritual awakening. And I think that, you know, some people never have that. Some people have that on their deathbed. Some people have that when they're 50. I feel fortunate enough to have had that introduction to spirituality. And I am sure that everyone who listens to your podcast and we're all just a little bit more awakened. We're all maybe just a little bit more lived in souls in a way. At least that's how I perceive that. How do you... What was that? Oh, I'm sorry. What was your spiritual awakening? Like, how did that come about?

You know, it came about from... It was the beginning of COVID and it was a really difficult ending of a relationship for me. And I feel that spiritual awakenings often come out of a breakup or death or whatever the case. So in my case, it was sort of obviously the lockdown of COVID, but also a very huge part of my life, my relationship ending. And sort of being stuck alone with my thoughts and trying to think, this is the worst feeling in the world. I need to do something to make this feel better. And that led me on my inner work. And that inner work slowly turned into reading self-help books. And those books were touching on subjects that just made me think. And then that just kind of grew deeper and expanded. And I was weirdly just...

You start watching YouTube videos listening to Joe Dispenza talk about your brain and rewiring your brain. But then I also, because I, jumping back to what I said at the beginning, feel like I feel things so deeply, which I believe is why I'm an actor, but it almost had me stop in my tracks a little bit at one point and think, does anyone else around me feel the way that I do? Because if so, how the fuck are we supposed to keep going? Because this is the worst shit I've ever felt in my goddamn life. I don't know how people wake up and continue to do it. When there's grief at the ending of something, the ending of a relationship, of a life, of a future, of an idea, when that ends and you're just left to yourself, it's like, God, that's a lonely feeling. And so you crave a community and you crave answers. And so that genuinely came from me searching for answers.

I was searching for solutions to feel better because there's no worse pain in the world, I believe, than grief. And grief has so many different shades. And I think grief in the sense of relationships ending isn't talked about enough. There's a million books on what to do when a loved one dies or when people pass away because the person's just not there anymore, but when the person still is there. Oh yeah, and they're on Instagram. They're there. They're making posts. You can watch them seemingly get happy and you're like, what the fuck are you happy right now? What is going on with you? I know exactly what you mean. And it's a pandemic. I mean, let's not forget this happened. If you're going to schedule the worst time for a breakup, it's going to be at the beginning of a global pandemic. That sucks.

Isn't that just so ironic? But also, to me, was a blessing because I don't believe I wouldn't have dove head first into that healing journey if I didn't have that time off of work and I didn't have that isolation. It was the isolation and the time off of work that truly allowed me to do the work on myself. Right. It was like a forced spiritual retreat. But then I went on a quest to, you know, at one point after panic attacks and genuinely, you know, when you open your eyes in the morning and feel that wash and that build from your stomach going into your chest and your throat and your face of anxiety, you think something's not okay here. And I need help. And I was very much feeling that feeling. I was feeling that I needed help. And I was doing research and calling these different places. Because, you know, I've seen articles, celebrities, celebrity checks into mental health, whatever. I'm like, where are these places?

Check these places out. And there's somewhere in Malibu where it's like $90,000 and you have, you know, you can go there for, first of all, I'm like, who has the time to do it? They're like 21 days. Who has 21 days to just go do that? Who has that? We have jobs. We have shit to do. And I guess, you know, but also ironically, the pandemic, we all had that time. But I also am a cheap fuck and was not about to spend $90,000. $90,000 is a lot of dollars. It's a lot of dollars for just sort of, I think, like the label of this is a mental wellness retreat. So I said, no, I'm not doing that. And I, but I did Google, I believe mental or wellness retreats in California, because I didn't really want to, you know, travel too far out of the, maybe out of my comfort zone to travel alone.

But I found Mount Shasta in California. I'd never heard of it. And it's, you know, I'm researching it and talking to my therapist about it as well and being told that it's this incredibly high vibrational place. And there's healers there and people travel all over the world to go. Lily, I believe it's one of the entrances to the hollow earth. I don't know if you've heard that before, but that's what they say. I'm pretty sure it's Mount Shasta internet. I'm sorry if I'm wrong. Well, they say it's, what is it? There's a telos. There's a city under the mountain of fairies and angels and all the things. So yes, they've likened it to Tibet, vibrationally. And so, you know, not maybe not wanting to travel to Tibet by myself, I said, I shall go to Mount Shasta by myself. And I did and I met with a woman there who we worked together for three days.

And I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life, but it was, but it was exactly what I needed. And I felt on that little trip by myself. So when I'm doing spiritual work and fully immersing myself in it in that way, like genuinely I flew to that location for healing for myself by myself. The intention was just on healing when I'm in those spaces, even though it's incredibly difficult because I know I'm doing the most intense, you know, shadow work on myself and staring straight into my own eyes and going, let's figure it out. It's a little hard, but it's also genuinely when I feel the most at peace with myself and the most at peace with my anxiety. Right. It's almost like there is no anxiety because I'm just tackling it head on. Anxiety is the anxiousness is coming from, what do I do? Where do I go? How can I get help? And so when I'm actively helping myself and letting myself cry and talk about it and talk about the answers and what can I do and work with healers?

The anxiety almost dissipates because I know that I'm exactly where I need to be to solve what's causing the anxiety, if that makes sense. Totally. I've been thinking about this. In Buddhism, there's three root poisons and one of them, if you want to come up with the ingredients, if you want to mix suffering, there's three primary ingredients. One of them is ignorance and ignorance is considered to be like an active form of ignoring because it takes energy to ignore. So basically, like you're talking about the jumping off point for your spiritual awakening was heartbreak. But for a lot of people, heartbreak is actually a jumping off point for, I guess you could, what would you call it in a sleepening? Like it's, you can go the opposite direction. You're like numb down, freeze up, don't feel anything. Fuck this. I'll never let, I'll never love again. I'll never let anyone in again. I'm never going to do this again. Fuck that. I am a rock. All that garbage. No offense, everyone. I'm saying it because I've tried that. I'm not like Lily here. I run in the other direction. It kind of makes sense. It hurts run away from it. But doing the thing you're talking about, which is very hard for a lot of people, I think it's the same. It's the same thing that makes vaccines work. It's like, you take a little tiny bit of this disease, and you put it in your body, and your body figures out how to like deal with it to fight it off or whatever it by looking right into the thing. You know, somehow it does the same. It has the same effect. It's like, but it doesn't, I get why people go awakening or a sleepening. I get me a sleepening because it seems counterintuitive that by diving in to the pain that it would somehow help the pain heal.

There's not much that I can think of like that in the world. Well, and that's where I think I truly started to embrace the term compassion and also just empathy and knowing that when people seemingly do wrong by me or hurt me in whatever way they have, I try to look at the situation or that person with compassion because not everyone has the strength to lean in. And I think it's the act of leaning in to what you're saying is that little drop of the disease that you let yourself experience. So you can, you know, it's the, I get it. I get it. But that numbing, that process of running away, I knew from like reading these self-help books and every lesson I've ever learned was only going to prolong the hurt. Right. And I was saying, no, I can't do that. I know, and I remember laying in bed one morning. I think it was like April or end of March and, and just saying to myself, and, and it was almost like a putting, like taking the armor off in a way and saying, this is going to fucking suck so bad. And so hurt, like I've never felt hurt before, but I am choosing to go through this dark tunnel that I know will be long and I know it will suck. But I'm going to go through this tunnel because I know there's a light at the end. I know there is. I've seen how to, I've seen it. I've seen it. You, you, you, how does anyone carry on after a breakup or after losing someone? People do. And so you know that people can do it. And I knew that I could do it. So I just said, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to lean in and I'm going to let myself feel fucking terrible.

And I did. And, and I now approach heartache the same in my life and in grief and any sort of bad emotion. I fully have given myself permission to feel like shit. I've got to ask, okay, cut to present moment. Lily crying in traffic. What's going on now? Oh, um, you know, a little bit at some, some heartache. Again, again, again, but, um, but it's actually, it's, it's very different this time. I've learned an incredible amount, but also, but also I'm at the point where I will not tolerate or accept less than what I deserve. And I know because I am such a deep feeler. Um, and I love to the, I am an all or nothing person and I love to the, to the depths of the ocean, you know, the deepest, I just, I'm a, I'm a lover and I'm a fighter and I fight for the people that I love. And there will be people who don't care to fight for you or don't see your value. And I refuse to ask those people to stay. I will never again in my life ask someone to stay if they're choosing to leave the doors right there.

You can go. Wow. Yeah. Well, I wish I'd been smart like you when I was in my twenties. I didn't start out that I'm 25, but I didn't start out that way. You know, it's like when I was first experiencing heartache or what loss it's you immediately because of, I don't know, codependency or attachment. You go, no, no, no, please don't, don't, don't leave, please don't leave me. I'll fix the things. I'll do what I got to do. Yeah.

You know, because you're, you're like, Oh, I'm the problem. So this is, you know, it's become a matter of learning not to take things personally. You know, that, you know what that makes me think of my friend as a tattoo artist. And he was telling me that the, whenever anyone comes in to tattoo their partner's name on them, he knows they're about to break up. You know what I mean? Because it's like, Oh, maybe if I get their name tattooed on my flesh, they will not walk out the door, you know, but it doesn't, it doesn't work. And, you know, God, there's so many like other versions of that, aren't there? When you're in a relationship, you're not tattooing their name on your flesh, but you're like shifting yourself, altering yourself in ways that feel unnatural or dishonest in some attempt to get them to stay. You know, and yeah, that's, that's a really rotten feeling when you, when you start going down that slippery slope. I mean, but also don't you think Lily sometimes in a relationship, there's, it's not codependency. It's like, you know, communication.

It's, it's like having the ability to. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, communication. Yeah. Like sometimes it's like, there's a way to work it out. But people can't, but you can't if someone doesn't know how to communicate. Right. You know, like I can only do so much and then if there's no communication, okay, then that door's shut and it's already shut. And I'm not going to be on the other end of it trying to break it down or pull the door open. I'm only, I can only do so much.

And it's like, you got to meet me halfway. And if, and if you're not willing to do that, then, then I don't want that in my life anyways. Right. But I think as I've learned communication is you have to be willing to be vulnerable to communicate. It's our words talking to someone, looking in someone's eyes and telling someone how we feel, whether, especially when it's a shitty emotion or if we're feeling bad or sad or confused or hurt, whatever the case, it takes pure vulnerability to do that. And, and I think it's, it's a cowardly thing when people choose not to, to do that. I mean, I mean, but you can't blame people.

Again, this is where compassion comes in because some people just aren't, instead of leaning in, people run away and, and you can't blame them because it hurts and it sucks and it's hard. You're talking to a professional coward here. I mean, my God, like, oh, sure. Are you kidding me? There's like, it's so seemingly so much easier to just like take whatever the thing is that you're wanting to say, like, you know, that really, that really hurt my feelings. I don't want to say that. I'm going to go, I'm going to go play Minecraft or something, you know, like just hopefully it'll like vanish into the darkness.

It's, I'm not, I'm not advocating this as a, as a mechanism for having a great relationship. I'm just saying, I get it. I get it. Like, you know, I get it too. I get it too. I just choose to do the hard thing instead. Yeah. Yeah.

And also, my God, you must be so busy. Like, how would you even have time to pull off a codependent relationship right now? Yeah. But it's also, I mean, yeah, I don't, there is no, I don't want a codependent relationship. And I wasn't in one. But yes, I guess that's, yeah. Sorry for implying that you were, I don't know what was obvious. No, no, no, I mean, I don't know.

No idea what was going on. No idea at all. So yes, I'm sorry if I projected that on you. No, you didn't. Because, because I, I used to be that way. And I, when I was going through my spiritual, and that's the whole thing to me was finding my independence when I was going through my spiritual awakening was, okay, who am I outside of every other role out of being a girlfriend, out of being a daughter, a sister,

a friend? Who am I just as an individual? Because, you know, all you over here is the best relationships happen when it's two individuals coming together, two people who are fully formed, can be happy on their own self sustaining, you know, yes, people who decide to share a life together. Yes. And I said, okay, I want that. So I'm going to do that.

And I'm going to be an individual and be okay on my own. Because otherwise any other partner that I'm going to attract is going to be, you know, is going to have this codependency thing where I'm not fully ready and this person isn't fully ready, but we're both like lonely. And so we're just going to be together because it's, it's easier to have someone next to you during the process. And I think a lot of people are unfortunately in codependent relationships because of how terrifying it is to be alone.

I mean, I don't know. I don't know what other people's relationships are like, because I'm not in them. But I think it's kind of a common occurrence that there are relationships out there that that are there because people are scared of the alternative. I've heard that can happen. You know, there's something that Ram Dass said to me once. I was asking him, how do I, how can I be a good father and to my son? And he goes, father, role, son, role, soul, not role.

Like, you know, that it was so deep. I think about it every day now, which, you know, because if I get too much, if you get too much into the father role, husband role, girlfriend role, boyfriend role or whatever, you're suddenly, there might not be cameras around, but you're putting on a show. Whereas the, the soul, whatever that thing may be, you know, it doesn't really, I don't feel like it identifies with such specific modalities, you know, it's so much bigger than that. That the, the thing that was floating in the guff or whatever, it's this trance outside

of time thing that's dipping its finger into time just for a second. It's just so easy to find to, you know, or even if you are in a gray relationship, you know, at least if you're me, you can, I could find myself just getting like, burrowing into some, oh, this is who I am, or this is what it is when it's sometimes outside of words or language or the ability to, to trap it in the box of definition, you know. And I think one of the most important lessons that I've been learning and have learned is to truly trust myself, which can be, that's the hardest shit to do, you know, like to not talk yourself out of something or say, am I being too needy?

Am I expecting too much because expectations are such a huge part of a relationship of any relationship in just life in general. So it's sort of like, oh, am I having too high of expectations and whatever the case may be. And it's, it's a lot of self doubt, I feel, which, which makes people unhappy because they choose to stay in something that isn't actually fulfilling them. And again, the alternative being alone is just worse. So you're like, okay, well, I guess I'm just going to chill here and settle or whatever

the case because I don't want to be alone. Yeah. And not just for the relationships. I mean, my God, it happens in everything. It's like, you find yourself in a thing and you're there because you're in the thing. And you're like, is this really making me happy? I don't know. But I'm in the thing.

That's what I do. And then before you know it, you're old and you're dying of some awful cardiovascular disease. And then that's it. And then you go back out there again to the God. Yeah. But that's where I'm saying me personally about presentness and trying not to live my life on autopilot because that's a very autopilot thing to do is to say, well, this is fine.

This is easy. Like this isn't maybe necessarily challenging. This is making my life, you know, I, oh, I'm filling this void and I'm checking this box. So things are good. Things are fine. But you're not actually stepping outside of what's happening and checking in with yourself, which is why I think it's so important again to be so in tune with yourself and know who you are and what you want before you're in a serious relationship so that when you are

in one, you can ask yourself, am I feeling fulfilled? Right. So you even know what that is. Some people don't even know what that feeling is. Like what is that? What is that? I'm still trying to figure it out. Yeah.

I'm trying to figure it out myself. I think what is, what is feeling fulfilled in, in by myself and then what is feeling fulfilled in our relationship because it can be two completely different things. But all I know is I just want to feel happy and fulfilled without having to rely on anyone else to give that to me. And that was my biggest, my biggest thing and my biggest like tagline throughout my 2020 summer of healing was I want to feel okay alone. Wow.

Very existentialist of you. I mean, it's a, that feeling is just, oh God, well that's suffering. You know, I think the feeling of alone and suffering are probably there's an equal mark between the two. It's just we, it's a flavor of suffering. It's, I don't know how, how happened an hour has passed. Do you have a little bit longer? I know you're probably really busy today because of your.

No, I'm actually not busy today. Oh my God. Okay. Fantastic. Let's talk to you about the feeling of fulfillment or whatever. It brings me to a question I had earlier for you, which is you were talking about being in the present moment this. So soul and present moment.

These are two words everybody throws around, but sometimes people don't really have a good answer for present moment. So if you had to define the present moment or presentness or how would you, what, what is the present moment to you? Well, I personally, because of my anxiety, tend to live in the past a lot, whether it's memories, looking back on things, having in a weirdly like few living in the future in a way, like having conversations with myself that I think may or may not happen in the future and so I can be prepared and know what I'm going to say and all those.

And I think the, I mean, it's so hard to be present. It genuinely is, but I, because my mind travels a million miles a minute and I get distracted by the tiniest things. And it's very easy for me to feel like a little, like if I'm triggered by something or I see a picture and it makes me think of something. It's so hard for me to just continue doing what I'm doing. I need to like stop and say, wait, I'm actually not okay right now. I can't focus on this.

Because I think, I mean, the worst thing that I've ever done is try to push through for the sake of pushing through when I need to actually step away. And I think there's a lot of, and it can be really hard with my job, you know, I, you know, I think that's where being an actor can be very difficult because people don't, you know, no one in working in a laboratory, no one's going to use the word diva to describe someone just like in any other job except for the industry. Wait, you've got to look up. I found this out.

I was reading a book on quantum physicists. Oh, they're all divas. I actually believe it or not like Oppenheimer, all those people. Oh my God, the worst sort of diva you could imagine because it's quantum physics. But people don't use that title on them. You're right. They're just, they're either just assholes or whatever, but I think the moment you're in the entertainment industry and you, you're kind of, it's hard because you're, you have

to almost not be a human sometimes. And it's, it's so incredibly difficult when you have 200 people on a set waiting for you, you know, I've been in a position where I can't stop. I'm in my trailer. I can't stop crying. I have an AD knocking on my trailer door going, set's ready for you. And you know, there's 100 people waiting for you to walk onto set and do your job. While getting paid by the, just, you know, we're talking money, just burning too.

Just money. Burning. Yep. Yep. Yep. And so you, you're, you're thinking to yourself, I have to put my emotions on pause right now and go do this job, but when you're dealing with heartache and grief and the bitch feelings of life, that is, it's the worst feeling ever because it's, it feels so fake.

And I hate that, but it's, but truly as, as an actor, as a performer, it's happened since the beginning of time at you, time is money and you're wasting people's time. And even if someone you know and love just died, well, the set's waiting for you. You know, and it's, it's just, the show must go on. The show must go on. And it's the most horrifying concept ever. And I've, I've experienced it myself, but I've also experienced seeing my, my co-stars, people around me dealing with the same thing and it's, it's gut wrenching, knowing that

my friend, my coworker, I know what they're going through in their personal life. I know that they were just crying in their trailer. I know the anxiety that they're feeling, you know, two seconds before they step onto set and then suddenly they just have to be, is it's brutal. It's brutal. You're a shape shifter. It's like you're, you all are, you have to be tuned in to that deep emotional component of yourself and you're, you somehow have to be able to turn it on and off like some kind

of faucet. It is nuts. It's nuts. It's, it's, there isn't a, there's so many like, like, you know, one of the most dangerous jobs is I read, I don't know if this is true anymore, but I just caught my butcher. Did you know that? Like the people who are like chopping meat in the grocery store, it's a very dangerous job because like if you aren't in the moment, you're going to cut your finger off and they're

always maiming themselves and just like spraying blood all over the, the lamb meat or whatever. That's my vision of, I don't know if that's the case, but I read it's a very, very dangerous job. So because it's a dangerous job, all this stuff is put into place to protect them from like that accidental amputation. But with acting, it's like, even though it is a dangerous job, clearly look at our actors, look what's happening to them all the time. I mean, every year they, this, they either lose their minds or they like overdose themselves

or they, whatever. But it's like, it feels like there, there isn't that same level of protection for you. You're just supposed to figure it out and, you know, God go with you tonight. Like, truly. And I've experienced the, the largest episodes of depression in my life within the last six years and knowing that I'm not okay and I feel close to like, you know, I can stop. I'm a pretty self-aware person and when I can stop and say, I can't actually keep going. Like I am on the phone with my manager and agent saying, I'm not, I'm not okay.

I can't, like I, I know I'm not okay. I cannot actually, I cannot be here right now. And there is, you, okay, but here's, there is an alternative. You can leave, you can quit, but then you're, you're sued. You have, you then have a reputation as being difficult. Uh, your, your fellow cast and crew lose respect for you. There are rumors about you. People assume things.

You're just all of a sudden a diva, whereas it's like, you know, no, I'm actually just being a human and like any other person in the world, maybe not like a surgeon or something can have a mental health day or say, I'm not okay. I need to go figure this out and then come back. You can't do that in this industry. And it's, I have experience personally being truly at the end of my rope, but then somehow still having to do it. And it is just the weirdest thing to dig, to be fully at the end of your rope saying,

I cannot fucking do this. And then still having to do it feels like such a betrayal to yourself. And also so dehumanizing that you're just a product at that point. There is no protection for actors in that space. And it is inherently just because of the industry. And like I said, people throw the word diva around if you're five minutes late to set. Oh, damn, she's a fucking diva. She takes her damn time.

Oh, well, actually, I was just on the phone in my trailer hearing about, you know, how my grandpa's not doing well and is in the hospital. You know, you have, but no one's gonna, no one's gonna, I don't have that chance to explain that to people. Right. They just are going to assume what they're going to assume. Yep. You got to cry blood.

Here's the thing. If actors cried blood, it would be a whole different ball of wax. The butcher cuts his finger off, cuts her finger off. They're not like, you got to chop meat, Gary, even with your blood springing everywhere. You know, you got to get in there. You're a diva. You're the most diva butcher at Ralph's. No, nobody does that, but, you know, because you're like, I think y'all are tuning in to

like some deep, heavy duty, metaphysical, occult level stuff, summoning all kinds of, aside from your personal life, you've got to go from that and then summon the spirit into your body, mix it in with your personal life. You know, there's no blood. There's no blood. And so this is, I think, you know, I don't know, they'll never fix it. It's too expensive. It's just too expensive.

Like running a set is not, it's nuts, like how expensive that is. But yeah, you know, I don't know. Maybe they will fix it one day. I guess they did fix it, Xanax, that's how they fixed it. We got the Xani prescription on hand if we need it. I mean, this is, this is the, this is what, this is, this is why when you hear about like the actors that are going to rehab, you know, this is the reason it's because they have to, they're getting help to mitigate this.

Because you need to genuinely, because it ends up being the most extreme version of needing help, which is rehab or people are, you know, committing suicide because you are not taken seriously until you are at the end of your rope. Right. You're just, you're just not. You're like, okay, okay, you get it. You're having a shit day. Well, you got to go to work and it's fine.

And until you throw the word suicide or overdose or mental exhaustion, but even people don't take that seriously, it's, you know, unless you have an IV drip in your arm and you're like physically incapacitated, you are a cash cow and you are meant to be on set when you are called. That's right. The udders have got to be bleeding. They got to be, the cash has got to get covered in blood and they're like, all right, send it to the vet.

Damn it. Let this person have their fucking day and then they'll be, and then they need to come back tomorrow. Oh, wow. Well, um, all that being said, I hope you keep acting. I'm a big fan. Don't stop. Don't stop.

Don't stop. Don't stop. Keep going. We need you. We love you. You got to keep doing this. No matter what, ignore your deepest self. But I'm not going to stop and, and but the beauty of it is I have my own production

company now and producing my own content, which is amazing and feel very fortunate to do that. But I, um, it's, it's different when you're on, you know, a TV show contractually, you're meant to be there for nine months out of the year, um, where, you know, you kind of have this like itinerary in front of you. It's different for me because I'm moving into my last season of the show that I'm on. So I know that when the show ends, my schedule is going to be different than how it usually is.

But, um, but the, I took this summer off of shooting. I have a, like a, an extra long hiatus this summer before my final season. And I chose not to film anything because I knew that I couldn't, like because I knew how much I was struggling back in November when I felt truly at the end of my rope and I couldn't do anything about it, even though I had to push through for six more months in order to, like at the end of my rope, but you got six more months to go. I was saying to myself, okay, well this summer I am going to let my body regulate itself and not work, not have this, even though I love acting so much and I'm like sad that

I'm not filming something this summer. I also know that it's genuinely what my body needed eight months ago. So I'm now going to let that happen and sort of let my anxiety, like my cortisol levels return to normal and do my craniosacral therapy, which I love. Whoa, you're doing skull manipulation? That stuff creeps me out. I don't want to think my skull is some kind of like loose puzzle or something that people can push around.

It's not, it's kind of more like, it's more like energy and almost fluid, fluid in your brain, I don't know how it all works, but I know that when I go to my craniosacral therapist, I'm laying on a table and she's touching certain parts of my body and all of a sudden I'm bursting into tears. So something's happening. Yeah. Yeah. No, I've heard great things about it.

Someone, a long time ago, one of my mom's friends tried it on me and I was like, I guess she didn't explain it like energy. She made me think that it's like you could push bits of your skull around, which now that I'm saying it, what an idiot, I don't know why I thought that. Your skull can't move around literally ever since then until now, I've had this fantasy of being able to push chunks of my skull around. Boy, I'm dumb. Well, I don't think that's what's happening, but I understand why you maybe would think

that. Lily, thank you so much for coming on the show. It's really a joy talking to you. You're a real inspiration. You're taking care of yourself. Right now, especially folks need to hear that this is a possibility and thank you. I'm personally inspired by it and yeah, I got to meet your channeler. Yeah, I'll set you up.

You let me know. She's great. I mean, she's my, I call her my life coach and a good friend and very fortunate to just have, again, same with like a therapist, just people in my life who are helping me grow and conversations like this as well, help me do that. So I'm thankful to you for letting me have this conversation with you. Thank you so much. That was Lily Reinhardt, everybody.

Thanks for coming on the show, Lily. That tremendous thank you to our glorious sponsors and thank you for listening. I will see you next week or maybe I'll see you at the Miami improv this weekend. Regardless, I love you and of course, Hare Krishna. A good time starts with a great wardrobe. Next stop, JC Penney, family get-togethers to fancy occasions, wedding season two. We do it all in style, dresses, suiting and plenty of color to play with. Get fixed up with brands like Liz Claiborne, Worthington, Stafford and Jay Farrar.

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