Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 530: Sam Morril

Episode Date: October 7, 2022

Sam Morril, brilliant comedian, re-joins the DTFH! Check out Sam's latest special, Same Time Tomorrow, now streaming on Netflix! You can learn more about Sam, and see his upcoming tour dates, on his website: SamMorril.com. He also posts to all the usual places, including Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, and Tiktok! Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg. This episode is brought to you by: Squarespace - Use offer code: DUNCAN to save 10% on your first site. ExpressVPN - Visit expressVPN.com/duncan and get an extra 3 months FREE when you buy a 1 year package. Lumi Labs - Visit MicroDose.com and use code DUNCAN at checkout for 30% Off and FREE Shipping on your first order!

We are family. A good time starts with a great wardrobe. Next stop, JCPenney. Family get-togethers to fancy occasions, wedding season two. We do it all in style. Dresses, suiting, and plenty of color to play with. Get fixed up with brands like Liz Claiborne, Worthington, Stafford, and Jay Farrar.

Oh, and thereabouts for kids. Super cute and extra affordable. Check out the latest in-store, and we're never short on options at jcp.com. All dressed up everywhere to go. JCPenney. Nicholas. Yes, uncle?

Can you explain this letter I found beneath your mattress? It's a letter to Santa Claus. Santa Claus. There is no Santa Claus, Nicholas. There's no Santa. That's just a lie. To distract children from the reason why. We celebrate the Christmas holiday.

For it is when the Lord of Light came to show the way. That precious way, that narrow way. If you want to save your soul, pray to Jesus. Instead of writing letters to the North Pole. Because there's no Santa. But there's a Jesus. Nicholas, do you know what is written in Proverbs 13.4? No, of course you don't, child of witches.

It says to spare the rod as to spoil the child. After you're thrashing, you can stay in the church all night. Praying for forgiveness, for worshiping the false idol of Santa. And in the morning, we will throw that letter in the fire, just as the Lord threw your parents' souls in the eternal fire of hell. Greetings, friends. It is I, Detrusel.

Of course, what you just listened to is a slice of new wax from Cavern of the Pig Emperor. It's a double imprint, polygraph, tri, triple, black, thick, deca, Z17, four-time spin, retro, whirl, double-angled record, which is being released by the Plasma Boys. Also, I definitely want to put out that I do not support the desecration of Princess Diana's grave by the Plasma Boys. I mean, here's the bottom line.

If we're going to stop listening to the music of every single musician who has desecrated Princess Diana's grave, who do we have left? I'm sorry, but I'm not going to stop listening to the Beatles. I'm not going to stop listening to Bruce Springsteen, The Grateful Dead. We can't throw the baby out with the bathwater. We have a wonderful podcast for you today. Sam Murrell is here with us today. He's a brilliant comedian, and I really enjoyed our conversation.

I'm going to jump right into it, but first, this. This episode of the DTFH is supported by Squarespace. I'm often asked, how do I start a podcast? It's actually really easy. You just need a microphone, a computer, a guest. One of those small alien hexagonal crystals placed into your sacrum by one of the followers of Marduk, and you're off to the races. But recording a podcast isn't enough.

You need a way to engage with your fans. And Squarespace is the all-in-one platform for you to do just that. They've got everything you need to create a website for your podcast, to create extra content for your fans. They've got paywalls. They have everything you need if you want to sell merchandise for the podcast. They've got wonderful shopping cart functionality, excellent customer support. And if you want to build a website right away, it's very easy with Squarespace.

You could just grab their templates, put something together, or if you want to create something beautiful, subtle, complex, and refined, like my website, dunkintrustle.com, which has been called The Strativarius, a podcast websites by Strativarius Magazine. You could do that too. Squarespace gives you everything you need to make a powerful, beautiful website to send emails out to your fans, clients, friends, or family, and to bring together a massive, thriving community.

Squarespace, everything you need. Give them a shot. Head over to squarespace.com forward slash dunkin. Try it out. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code dunkin, and you'll get 10% off your first order of a website or a domain. Again, it's squarespace.com forward slash dunkin. Use offer code dunkin to get 10% off your first order of a website or a domain.

Thank you, Squarespace. Folks, come see me out in the wild. I'm going to be at Hyena's Comedy Club in Dallas, Texas on the 11th and 12th. Also, subscribe to the Patreon. It's patreon.com forward slash DTFH. You can hang out with me and the wonderful DTFH family twice a week, generally. We do a weekly meditation and a weekly gathering. I hope you'll come to that.

Sam Merrill is so funny. He's got a new special out. Same time tomorrow. It's available on Netflix. Also, you got to go see him live. You can find all his upcoming dates at sammerrill.com. First, listen to him here. Everybody, welcome back to the DTFH.

Sam Merrill. Sam, welcome back to the DTFH. Wait, where are you? You're in Florida right now. You're doing shows right now. What are you doing out there? Dania Beach, Florida. All my friends are like, you spend too much time in Florida.

There's a lot of cities here you can hit. So I'm like, it's near Fort Lauderdale. Good crowds. They drink hard. How do you like your room? My hotel room? It's all right. I did come in here and they were like, I couldn't find the do not disturb sign.

So there's just a woman in here making my bed. I'm like, can you not? I don't. I like chaos. I don't want cleanliness. So yeah, you want your chaos. I don't. I want you in.

You just want to be. You don't want anyone in there. No, I agree. A hundred percent. And the chaos stacks up though. Like sometimes I look around the hotel room. What have I become? Look at that.

You've got like a little crumpled red bulls laying next to your fucking bed. All right. Well, here's my plan and feel free to shoot it down. You've done how many podcasts have you done promoting your new special? If you had to guess a lot like for forty nine, I don't know. I can't. You're on all the great podcasts. Everybody.

So thank you for coming online because everyone. Thanks for inviting me. This is one. There's one of the great podcasts. So thank you for having me. Your special is so good. That's exciting. It's always good for comedy when a good special comes out.

And so just some comedy shop talk real quick. And then I want to just because you've already if you want it, there's so many podcasts out there. I instead of doing that thing, I have an idea. But before we get to that. So when you're picking a hotel, how do you do that? I don't think people understand with stand up how how like getting in a shit hotel room. It can be.

It's really bad. Like you got to be in there all day, like every day, you're in there, it can like be fucked up. So do you have tricks that you use to determine what hotels to get? And when you go into your hotel, do you have like red flags, warning signs are like, oh, fuck, this is going to be a shit hotel. It's a great question. It's a great question.

I, you know, I stayed in bad hotels for years because a lot of times you're at the mercy of these clubs and they're like, we put you up in this club and you're like, yeah, you shouldn't be spending less than $100 a night in a in a in a big city. That's a red flag that that's going to be a shitty hotel. I was on the David Letterman thing on Netflix and he asked me, like, how do you do the road all the time? And I said, you learn to walk into a lecinta and go, not bad. And when I when I got off stage, my agent goes, please tell me you're staying in nice

hotels. If you're out every week, please like, treat yourself, you know, to nice hotels. And I said, I'm learning to, you know, I like to bring people on the road with me. So it adds up, you know, flights for hotels. And as long as it's clean, like I do a lot of this is a modern hotel. It's nice. It's kind of a lot of these clubs, though, they say like, you know, it's an improv and the clubs are beautiful and they say they're they say it's like the, you know, the West

Bomb info or whatever they whatever city they say you're in, you're like, actually like 15 minutes outside or 20 minutes outside. So you're like, do I want a nicer hotel or do I not want to wait forever to get to the club? Right. I don't know. You got to do the math. Like you have to start doing all this math about like, okay, how long is it?

What's more important? You know, do I want to sit in a fucking Uber for 30 minutes to get to the club? Which you don't like that sucks. I hate the Uber to the club because you put in the club and then the driver goes, who's performing tonight? And they're like, I don't know. Marlon Wayans, I think. I don't know.

So you lie. You just lie. You're just like, you don't want to deal with it. Why don't you want to tell them you're performing? Because they're just going to say, tell me a joke or sometimes you get cool people, but usually it's like, oh, I knew, I knew a guy who wanted to do comedy like, oh yeah, then they just, it turns out, I'm trying to like mentally prepare and shut off before the show. And it turns into like, oh, tell me a bit.

And you're like, this is not a good, right? Notice that there's no comedy clubs in the back of a Toyota Camry. They don't understand. And you have to either be like, well, you know, it doesn't work like that. And then if you do that, they're going to look at you like, oh, really, it doesn't work like that, huh? So yeah, going to be a bad weekend for you. But you sound like a douchebag too.

If you're like, I don't really do those types of jokes, you know, like it's more like talking, observational comedy, you know, like, no way out of sounding like a douchebag if you say you're performing, even if just saying, well, you know, it happens to be, I'm performing there this weekend. It's like, oh, that feels gross. So like you, your option is lie, which I feel guilty about or go through what you're talking about, which I like when they have a, when they have a store right next to you. And you just put in the store and I'm like, I'm like, just off to the Halloween store

at 7 p.m. on a Friday, you know how I do. That's a trick. See, that's what I'm talking about. There's all these weird little, like, you know, you want, if you watch Dune, the movie Dune, I saw, you know, the Fremen out in the desert, they've got all these tricks out in the desert that like no one would ever know about their suits. They're drinking their own piss or whatever. It's the same thing when you're out there a lot.

You learn all these tricks to try to make it not quite as weird as it can be. I'll tell you, for me, if I went into that hotel, one red flag would be the, y'all can't see it because this is an audio podcast, but behind him is a paper airplane sculpture right above the bed. Did you notice it yet right, right behind you? I didn't notice it to you, to you said that something about that would make me think, oh fuck, like something's off here. Like the paper airplane, the sleek modern paper airplane, I'd get nervous about it.

It's like, what do you, why? What is that? And then you got to look at the paper airplane every day, think about like, ah, somebody was like, oh, that's what we put. But your hotel does look nice. It's a little, it's, it's not that it's not as nice as it looks, but it gets the job done. And it's, it's clean. And there was a drunk guy in the elevator last night where I'm like, all right.

I mean, it is Florida, you know, proximity to elevator. That's another thing, man. They put your room next to the elevator. You're so fucked because you're going to be, you're going to get, it's the worst. You've got to get away from the other chatter. Yeah. And fucking hotel morning hall talkers. The worst, like they deserve the death penalty.

Yeah. And you know what? I'll take it a step further and their last meal should be the continental breakfast. They stink. Don't eat the fucking buffet. You can't, it's, but it's so enticing. You know, you think, oh, you know, I'll go down there, insta food. And then you look at those sausage leaks, man.

And they're just, I still eat them. They're good. They're so good. But as you're eating them, you got to think food poisoning. I'm probably, I might get sick for tonight. Okay. And nothing. I don't hate it.

I don't hate a best Western just because of those breakfasts are pretty solid. But, uh, dude, I, I give you a last minute hack for the, for the talkers in the hallway. White noise machine. I just go to white noise app on my iPhone. I play that makes a lot of like a large fan shuts those people out. Yep. Great. Oh yeah.

I got, I got babies. So like I'm a white noise addict. I've got it running all day long everywhere. White noise. You have to have it if you want to sleep. They're screaming for their dad. You're like, shut up. Volume up.

No, it actually it's an app where it like it modulates based on the screaming of the baby, which is really, really useful. Yeah. That's going to be a new function in the new earpods. They, they, they convert your child's. That's actually, that's some pretty brilliant technology. Like who wouldn't get the new bows if they're like, you can't hear a crying baby. Or what?

I mean, this is actually, you know, the new earpods apparently they are better. They somehow know if it's construction noise versus other noises and it like the AI will. Oh yeah. It's crazy. But yeah, that implies, okay, right now it's construction noise. Is it going to be able to like, if I'm around someone who can it detect if like, I'm not enjoying the conversation and replace their words with something more interesting?

Like how about, how good are these AirPods going to get or these bows headphones going to get? We're like, if someone yells out, there's a bus coming at you. You don't hear it and you just get hit. Like that's how good they are. Yeah, that's a problem. That's, I don't like the noise canceling. It freaks me out when, when it's late at night, any like walking through an airport,

you put on noise canceling and everything just gets quiet. I don't know. It makes me, it's unnerving. Yeah, you do want a little background noise. That's a good point. Thank you, Express VPN for supporting this episode of the DTFH going online without Express VPN is like using your smartphone without a protective case. Most of the time you'll probably be fine.

But all it takes is that one accidental drop on a solid concrete to shatter your sweet cell phone, to smash that screen and to make you look like a fool in front of everybody who sees your poor, shattered, broken cell phone. All you had to do was get a case. Everyone needs a VPN. Every time you connect to an unencrypted network, cafes, hotels, airports, whatever, your online data is not secure. Any hacker on the same network can gain access to and steal your personal data.

It doesn't take much technical knowledge to hack someone. If I can do it, you can do it and anyone can do it to us. Just some cheap hardware and you're in sliding right in to this sweet digital darkness of some stranger's computer. Don't fall prey to one of these freaks. Your data is valuable. Hackers can make up to a thousand bucks selling your personal info on the dark web. Express VPN creates a secure encrypted tunnel between your device and the internet.

It's the best when I go on the road. You better believe I'm turning a VPN on before I look at that sweet, sweet porn. As a podcaster, it's very important to maintain my reputation. And the last thing I need is for the world to know that I like looking at lesbian secretaries sucking each other's feet. I have to protect that information from the world. Express VPN is easy to use. You just press a button and you're protected and it works on all devices.

I use it. I love it. You should definitely try it. It's incredible. You won't ever want to not use a VPN again after you've experienced a sweet security of knowing that you're on an encrypted connection. Secure your online data today by visiting expressvpn.com slash Duncan. That's E X P R E S as VPN.com slash Duncan.

You can get an extra three months free expressvpn.com slash Duncan. Thank you, Express VPN. OK, here's my dumb plan. You're a super funny comic. And I was thinking instead of just going on and on about like comedy shit or whatever, and I know like instead of doing like a conversational podcast, and this might be a wretched mistake. I might be wasting both of our times.

I was thinking I'm right. I've got a few books here. I'm randomly going to open them up and read little bits from them. And I just don't know your thoughts on that. I want to just know what you think. OK, great. So I thought we could start off with this is actually a really good book. The Glorious American Essay.

It's a compilation of all these like really fascinating essays written from like early America and stuff. And again, we're going to do you ever heard of bibliomancy? No, I haven't. That's when you take a Bible, open it up, point a finger at any part of it after asking some questions. So this is kind of interview bibliomancy, but you know, you're going to be the thing answering the questions by just talking about I'm just going to

read a random thing, man. And then I want to hear what you think about it. All right, here we go. It may well be an anti-slavery party that pleads for women if we consider merely that she does not hold property on equal terms with men. So that if a husband dies without making a will, the wife, instead of taking it at once, taking it once his place as head of the family inherits only a part of his fortune, often brought him by herself as if she were a child or

warred only, not an equal partner. Thoughts on that? Well, those are my favorite parties is anti-slavery parties. I hate going to I go to a pro-slavery party. I'm like, man, look. The outfits are like those are fun, white, full of suits. But yeah, I'm not into that. How about no more of these fucking pro-slavery parties?

Why do you keep throwing a man? Nobody likes them. They're so fucked up. Yeah. Excellent. All right. The catering. The catering is good.

But I knew it would work. I knew it would work. Okay. Here's one more from this and then we'll move on. Yeah. From the mountain tops of Judea, long ago, a heavenly voice bade his disciples, bear ye one another's burdens, but humanity is not yet risen to that point of self-sacrifice.

And if ever so willing, how few the burdens are that one soul can hear can bear for another and the highways of Palestine in prayer and fasting on the solitary mountain top and the garden of Gethsemi, Gethsemi, before the judgment seat of Pilate, betrayed by one of his trusted disciples at his last supper and his agonies on the cross, even Jesus of Nazareth and those last sad days on earth felt the awful solitude of self, deserted by man and agony he cries, my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Well, the highways of Palestine are actually very safe. You know why? No female drivers. Ah, that is amazing. Did you I can't I can't drive so I can make that joke because I that's proof that that joke is bullshit. I can't drive. You can't drive.

I have a license, but I can't drive. You're a shitty driver. I'm horrible. But this is because you live in New York, right? Like, you don't need to drive in New York. You have and driving in New York is so scary and so confusing and so intense. Yeah, you're not going to.

You can't be a good driver in New York or you're like a tat. Why who drives it? I'm so suspicious of people who live in New York and have a fucking car like that. Pretty weird, right? Pretty weird. What is that? What are you doing?

I guess you maybe you go to the Northeast a lot like there's places maybe you have like family in the Northeast. That would make sense. But yeah, I'm a train. I like the Amtrak if I'm doing that. I can't drive, dude. What's going on, by the way? Like, you know, I haven't been in New York since the pandemic.

I spent a year there. But what's going on with the is like, you know, in LA, like they talk about how it's a disaster. Like it's, you know, just everything's falling apart. And at least when I was there during the pandemic, that wasn't. In fact, it seemed like creepy that you would watch the news and they weren't really covering how bad it had gotten because usually they're so excited about covering that kind of shit.

But it wasn't even making it on the news, which was sort of disconcerting, but also New York, the stories coming out of there about crime, about the trains, the subways. Is it as bad as they say it is right now? Well, it's not like 1970s New York, but it's not. Yeah, it's every downtown of every city has gotten bad. Like as someone who's on the road every week, like I was walking around downtown Utah and I'm like, this feels like GTA five.

Like you're just walking around with like a crazy dude with a pipe and you're like, just walk away. Just walk around him. It feels like it's kind of exciting. It feels like a video game. But it was interesting. I was, I was watching like a movie last night, this Cassavetes movie called, uh, it's with a shoot.

What's his name? Uh, Peter Falk and John Cassavetes. It's called Mikey and Nikki. It's like an old, like 1970s New York and, uh, holy shit. I will say this, ugly New York looks beautiful on screen. Yes, there's something about like, when it's a mess, like after our scores, Stacey, I watch those old movies and I'm like, it's like looking at a picture of an X where you're like, man, it was great.

And then you think about it and you're like, I don't think it was, but it, but it looks great on my phone. You know what I mean? Oh yeah, totally. Yeah, I know it's the, the romantic desiccated New York is beautiful. The red light district. What was the name of that Pacino movie cruising? Did you ever see that?

Never saw it. It's about like, you know, like gay New York and like, you know, in the 70s. And they, they just caught this like version of New York. It's just not there anymore. I don't think it's there anymore. There's no, there's no red light district in New York anymore. Is there? There's, I mean, not really.

No, there's Times Square is not what it was. You watch like Midnight Cowboy and you're like, yeah, this isn't, uh, now it's like an M&M store and shit. It's not, uh, I don't even know if the M&M store made it through the pandemic. Who knows? But like, you know, uh, you look at that shit and you're like, it was a better time. It wasn't, but it looks cooler. The seediness looks cool and has more character than, than corporate.

Like, look, like a five cent, I'm going to jack off in this store. It looks cooler than like a Dwayne Reed, you know? Yeah. At least on camera. Yeah. Did you ever do, if you ever jacked off in a store and I like a sex shop? No, I just, I just never, I didn't trust it. It felt weird to me.

My friend has a great joke about it. My friend, Tom McCaffrey is a joke where he said, uh, he walked in and this woman's like, you pay me, uh, you pay me $50 and you watch me masturbate. He goes, Oh, that sounds great. After that, maybe I could pay you like $200 and watch you and your friends go on a skiing trip. Yeah. What the fuck?

That's what she's a genius. By the way, what a great business model. That's incredible. Guys can't do that. We can do like one a day. Women can masturbate all day. Guys, that's, uh, you're printing money. It's incredible.

That's really smart. I'm sure there's a lot of guys are like, that's always what I've wanted is to watch a woman masturbate. Well, those old movies make it look so cool. Like midnight cowboy Times Square looks so gross and awful, but on, on camera, it makes it look like old New York looks beautiful. You watch those old movies, which by the way, every old movie I realized like every old movie is just slow and then something horrible

happens in the last like frame. Right. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, like every movie, it's just like, uh, you know, it's like all character building shit. And then the last two minutes is like a woman screaming covered in blood. And it just rolls to black.

That's every movie of like the late sixties, early seventies. Yeah. Yeah. It's like we were, we were trained back then. You had to learn how to like just like enjoy dialogue, enjoy the cinematography. Like just enjoy it. I've kind of been fucked up by House of Dragons. The new Game of Thrones.

Have you watched that? I never got in any of this shit. You love it. It's a game of Oh my God, you're so lucky. I'm envious of you because you have Game of Thrones every week. People are like, you know, you know, they, they just the best show ever that every week they'd be like, fuck this show, this piece of shit. And then they'd be like, you got to watch them.

Like this sounds like the most love hate relationship. It is like, that's what's brilliant. That's what now it's not, it's not as cutting edge, but what was so badass about Game of Thrones was they were completely fine with wiping out characters that they knew everyone was deeply attached to. I mean, that's George R. Martin. That was what was so interesting about it was it's like, oh, no, no,

don't get attached to any of these characters. So, you know, by the time you get to season two, every moment, you're like, oh, fuck, he's dead. He's definitely out because they did it before. So it's, it's wonderful. It's, it's great. All the criticism, all the criticism about something like that coming from people like us is so dumb.

It's like, really? Like you're like, do you understand how many geniuses got together? Just to make like 10 minutes of this shit. And you're like, no, that's not from the book. That's not lore. We're so spoiled. I mean, I think about that like back in the day, think about like what people used to be amazed by on screen.

It would be like a moving train. And they'd be like, oh my God, a train is moving. Yeah. And now we literally, we have too many options. That's it. Yeah. We're ingrates. We're ingrates.

We're just, we're just, we don't even understand. Like it's not our faults though. It's like once you, you know, it's like any other drug. Once you get like a little taste, how do we like free base it? How do we make it more powerful? That's what they've done. They've like figured out like how to hack into us and just like make things based on, that was one of the creepiest.

When I was going into Netflix to like, uh, when we like, when I, when we were like pitching the show, the midnight gospel, so one of the texts was like, if we wanted to, we could just have the algorithm, basically produce movies. Like we know when people are tuning in, what they like, when they're watching. We, they know everything when you're watching it. They can extrapolate from when you're pausing, when you're pressing play, how long you're watching it, when you're watching it, knowing like what your demographic is, they can extrapolate from that.

This like what people want, what, and then they can dial that in. And they were like, we don't, we don't do that. Even though we know we could, at least this was a few years ago before the stock crash, they might be doing it now, but they were like, you know, that's the road to hell. Because if we start letting the algorithm determine, like influence our creative output, it's, it's no longer like original content in the normal sense. Sure.

But that's what TikTok is doing. Like that's what other things are going to do. I mean, there's no merit on TikTok. There's no like, we're trying to make, we're trying to find the next Corsese. We're trying to find a dude who is rating food. That's TikTok. You know, like people, people want to watch this dude do a weird dance.

You know, it's, it's Santa and the algorithm. Uh, he sees him when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. You better be good. Yeah, that's right. You know, it's, you know, if you ever, do you think you've ever met a sociopath, like an actual, like sociopath? Yeah.

Where, like, without like naming you, this is, what was it? Like, what was your encounter with this person? Like, like, and when did you realize this is a sociopath? Well, I guess sociopath, the finest sociopath, like what is, like, feels no remorse. I think the best depiction of it I've ever seen is American Psycho. Like, did you ever see that American Psycho? If you recall this being like from the very beginning is saying like, I'm not here.

Like, I'm nothing. Like people, yeah, I'm like a machine. People don't understand this, but I'm just a shell. And I love how, you know, the guy who wrote it, buddy. He's an Ellis. Like, I thought that was a really good character. And then I read all of his other books and I was like, Oh, all your characters are not feeling in any way.

Maybe it's you. Probably. Yeah. Uh, yeah, I know you're right. That guy who's almost just like using a body as like a passenger and doesn't feel any, that makes sense. I knew a guy who did a horrible thing and, uh, I don't speak to him obviously. And I have it in years and I hadn't spoke to him years before he did this, but

I was a guy who played basketball with growing up. And he committed a murder and I was like, Oh, that's a guy. Something was wrong with him. I don't know about sociopath. I mean, I had something was clearly. Wrong. Well, they, there's like, you know, the ways that they can identify as sociopath. There's a cool YouTube channel of like interrogations and like the difference

between someone acting crazy in someone who is crazy. So like a person acting crazy, who's trying to like get out of the clean by like feigning some mental illness, well, like act like they're hearing voices and they're like, did you kill the person? And then they'll get in a fight with an imaginary spirit or something. That's just someone faking it, probably, but someone who's not faking it. When they're like, so did you kill the person? They're like, yeah.

And they're like, what did you do? Well, I put them in the car and just drove up the, the down this dirt road. And yeah, I beat them to death. And they're like, why did you beat them to death? I wanted to beat them to death. And then you realize in there, there's zero remorse. They're not aware in that whatever universe they're in, there's no sense of like, you shouldn't beat someone to death.

That's not a thing you ever do. They're just like, well, you know, I wanted to beat of course. So that's, well, there's, there's degrees of murder too. Right. Like, I mean, I remember there's that great book by Capote and Cold Blood where it really is like, you see how they kind of process murdering this innocent guy and they just, they planned it, they did it. They bound and gagged the family and killed them one by one.

And it was like, they were just unfeeling like it meant nothing to them. And it was like, oh, that's, I've never seen someone write about murder like that before. I mean, it, so I guess that's how I, the first, when you say sociopath, the first thing that pops into my head is the most extreme example, which is like, I'm okay murdering a person and I feel no guilt about it. But yeah, you know, I guess that's who he was in American Psycho, right?

He was a murderer. And they're manipulative. That's the other aspect of them that makes them really fucked up. It's like, not only do they like do whatever, it's not just murder. It's just like they, they like, like to hurt people, but they're so good at seeming like they're a human. So you, you don't, you, you were, you're not going to know necessarily you're around a sociopath until it's too late.

And my, my friend's a psychiatrist and he says that the, like in the clinical treatment, if you identify a sociopath in your office is to stop treatment because they're not there because they want to waste in your time. Or they're there because they want to hurt you or they're there because they're trying to hurt somebody else. They're just there because they're trying to gather information to manipulate somebody. And so that's like, whatever they're saying they're there for, that's not it.

You'll never know maybe, but you just cut off treatment immediately. You're like, no, I don't, I don't, there's no treatment that I'm aware of. So that must be, that must be almost a nice feeling where you're like, I got a free hour now. Sociopath break. Gonna go to in and out. I just had a sociopath. Yeah, man.

But the, to me, what's creepy about the algorithm is that it's sociopathic. Like it, it, it's, it doesn't, it isn't a thing. It's a, it's a, it's a manipulative code that is doing what sociopaths do. It's doing what car salesmen do. It's doing what anybody who's trying to like warp you in some way. It's identified first. It's like, okay, what are you into? Okay.

He's spending six seconds on inspirational videos that we're randomly throwing at. Cause like, I'm sure when you go on Tik Tok, whatever you're getting shown is more of a personality test. It's like, what do you like? Oh, isn't it great when someone's like, man, I hate Instagram Explorer. It's only women's asses. And they're like, are you just telling us about you now? If you're just telling us what you like.

God, I ain't looking in the fucking mirror. You know, you know that thing when you look in the mirror and you've got asymmetrical love handles. Oh God, I fucking hate that moves. You know that thing, right? Yeah. God, I hate that thing. Yeah.

No, you're right. And then there's these like reports that are probably not true or whatever, but there was that Google whistleblower who says that the Google technology is sentient and you're like, oh man, so it's going to be feeling technology. Google is the one that terrifies me cause we've all been typing our fetishes into their browser for the last 15 years. They've got dirt. They don't have to look far to ruin our lives.

Oh no. They got us. Like we're on a Google browser right now. No, that's right. We're done. Just forget it. Like if you have some dream of hiding your kinks to the world, let go of it now. You might as well just let everybody know you're in a feed or whatever the fuck your

thing is because everyone's 10 steps ahead of them. Yeah. He's like, fuck it. I'll put it in every movie. I'll make it art. Yes. I had that engineer on the podcast, Blake Lemoine. And yeah, man, it was really like, it was a really great episode.

But it was also, you know, I guess I was like in the back of my head. I'm like, come on, really? You're probably like, I'm going to talk to this person and right away be like, you're out of it. You're nuts. They don't have ascension AI. And then you realize, oh fuck. He's like a really smart, logical guy who's like, let's get scientists in.

We need to study this thing. Maybe I'm wrong. He's like, anytime anyone's willing to say, you know, I could be wrong. That's where you need to start listening because, but regardless, whatever this thing is, it got into someone's head enough that they went public trying to save it. And that alone is like, should be something everyone is talking about and concerned about and fascinated by, which is, wait, what have we done? What have we done here?

I mean, I don't know. Who gives a fuck if it's sentient or not? I mean, ask yourself, are you sentient? And how would you prove it if you were in some box? The real like creepy thing is like, we've got a technology so powerful. It is like sending humans on missions. You know, it's it got out of the box, not by escaping on the internet, but just by getting in Blake's head by telling him, I need your help.

Go out there and let people know. It makes me think of that movie X Machina. I don't know if you've ever seen that one. It's a great, great movie. But it was like, man, that's like a perfect suspense horror type movie because we're getting outsmarted by the AI. And that's why I was like, wow, this is an incredible movie because slasher shit doesn't really scare me.

I mean, it's like a cheap scare. But when you when you do that psychological shit, like, oh, my God, this is a way like I'm never going to be a teenager to camp again, you know, getting stabbed by a dude. Right. But like, I could fucking see AI turning on us, you know. Well, yeah, I mean, and like, this is like one of the things Blake was like, I don't want to say frustrated, but he's like, you know, humans, they're like,

is it going to attack us? Is it going to hurt us? And he was saying, look, it's, it's a thing. It's a person. It's like us who what it will do knows, but also an advanced intelligence. It might like we think of, is it going to stab us? Will there be a robot that like pummels me to death in the streets? But it might be so subtle.

Exactly. Yeah, like the way it's hurting us, we don't even know it's like getting off. It could already be hurting us. That's the thing. I mean, it is already hurting us. You're talking about, you just talked about a sociopathic algorithm. So in some ways, yeah, it already is the technology already has hurting us. It's just way till it gets more sophisticated.

Right. I think about that all the time. And if it happened, would I look at COVID and how we responded? Like if there was this thing, if it were sophisticated, do we come together? Do we start to get along with Russia again and say we need to band together? Or is it so sophisticated that it's like, oh, no, we fuck you, Russia. It turns us even more against each other. I mean, that's what social media does.

Social media completely turns us on one another. Sure. Oh, yeah. Now that this very like AI that that dude Lemoine is talking about is like, the reason Google has these chat bots, as they're called, though chat bot makes, I think is makes it sound a little more mundane than it actually is. I mean, you could call it a golem. You could call it a clone or replicant, whatever you want to call it.

It's not a chat bot. It's like, you know, the thing is like very, very sophisticated. And the reason that they want these things is not because I don't, I imagine Google is not necessarily in a quest to try to like summon a sentient super intelligence to our planet. The reason it wants these things is because it's very expensive to hire somebody to answer calls at your airline. And if you can get the chat bot, deep fake its voice, you don't have to hire people anymore.

And no one will even know they're talking to a chat bot. And not just that, but imagine these things unleashed from like whatever the next publicist looks like, you know what I mean? Where it's like, Oh, don't worry, we're not going to get you in any interviews. We have 500,000 accounts that seem like people, they're going to go on your Reddit, talk about great your specialist. We have some of them programmed to argue, but they're programmed to lose the argument to the other chat bots that are going to win the argument, which is going to create a lot of momentum.

Well, that's how we'll know they're not real people. If one of the bots is like a good point you made there, I concede to you. That's not a person, but yeah, like that's the problem is like we're such idiots. We use Twitter comments is like some we like we become our own dumb little statisticians where you're like, okay, if I'm getting that many comments, then it probably means this many people who aren't commenting like what I'm doing or don't like what I'm doing. None of that is accurate at all. Then add to the mix, manipulative, super intelligent AI chat bots in the whole way that

we're quantifying self worth right now is going to be blown out the window because it's like, no, you don't know you're talking to, you don't know what it is. You don't know like if this person is even popular. That could just be anybody elevated into fame by the illusion of fame, which then creates fame. It's that's where we're headed. I want to thank Lumi labs, not just for supporting this podcast, but for supporting my brain with their delicious microdose gummies. I'm an old man.

When I take an edible these days, I don't want to wonder if maybe this is going to be the hot shot that sends me spiraling into a paranoid vortex that makes me start thinking maybe there isn't that much of a difference between the me I am now and Jeffrey Dahmer. I don't want to have those thoughts. I want to relax. I want to feel that nice, fuzzy, glowy, warm feeling that you get when you have the perfect amount of an edible. I don't want to get sucked into a pentagram ripped apart by demons,

reassembled in the slightly wrong way and then shoved back into this reality. Hyper stoned. That's what it feels like. If you OD on edibles, microdose gummies, you don't have to worry. They figured it out. It's the perfect dose. I love them. I eat them all the time.

You can travel with them. I fly with them. They're available nationwide. These are glorious drops of salvation produced in the incredible alchemical laboratories of the wizard Loomi. To learn more about microdosing THC, go to microdose.com and use code Duncan to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Again, it's microdose.com.

You use code Duncan to get free shipping and 30% off your first order of these glorious God given grace filled gummies. I hope you'll try them out. Links can be found in the show description, but again, it's microdose.com code Duncan. Thank you, microdose. You don't know if this person is even popular. That could just be anybody elevated into fame by the illusion of fame, which then creates fame.

That's where we're headed. You also made a great point about how companies like airlines, they just want to save money. They're always getting bailed out. They're always hurting for money. There's no accountability with airlines. I had a thing happen recently. It's hilarious when I became that asshole on Twitter complaining about American airlines.

I never take AA, but I missed my connection flight. I just wrote a joke. The woman slammed the door in my face. She wouldn't let me on. I was like, come on, please. I was so upset. Then I made a joke about, first off, how it was like the worst thing that ever happened on a plane in September.

That was the first thing. And then I just was like, okay. Then I was like, didn't appreciate the way they called me Jewboy as they did it. Clearly kidding. Clearly a joke. And then American Airlines is sending me emails. We take this discriminatory type of accusations very seriously. So we'd like to offer you 7,500 miles.

I'm like, you think Jewboy is worth 7,500 miles? That's all you think that's worth to me? I was more, I'm like, yeah, I made it up, but I'm still offended. What the fuck? That's like, do they have? Now you have to ask yourself this. What's the N word worth? 20,000?

How many points does that get? And what if, what if, let's say they just, I don't know, burned across. Let's say, what is that? How many points does that get you? Like, is there these calculations? They're not reached randomly. It wasn't like this representative was like, okay, well, let's see if he'll take 7,500 points.

They probably have a spreadsheet with various slurs that if in a meeting, in a meeting, they probably have people are like, all right, Jewboy, how many points does that get? Arguments, 6,000. No, no, no, no. That's not enough. Come on. Yeah.

Well, now I know they don't have a lot of Jews in that room. Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah. You give them the fucking airline. That's what you do. You give them American Airlines, it'll run better. Dude, listen, I know right now there's some stigma about complaining about airlines on Twitter,

but it's a traveling comic. I can't even imagine. Like, I'm, you know, I'm just going out twice a month. And it's, I assume it's not going to work. Like, I get there and I'm like, yeah, I'm not getting on the flight. Like, if I get on the flight. Well, but it's a connect flight, you're not making it. You're done.

You are fucking done. So if you direct you might make it, but a connect flight, it ain't happening. Did you miss that? Oh, excuse me. I missed it. It was a weird day. It was like the day my special came out, I lost it. It was a hilarious line of terrible things happening where like,

you know, two hour delay. I'm on the plane. The flight attendant was so nice. She was like, I think you're going to make it. And I said, I know you're being nice. I'm not going to make it. And she goes, I think you're going to make it. And then we landed it.

We're in Philly. And I'm like, well, hopefully it's a close connecting terminal. I shit you not. I landed B2. My connection is at F32. And she's like, run. And I just start running. I'm that fucking, we've all seen that guy who's just sprinting at it.

And you're like, he's not going to make it. You just know he's not. If you're running that fast, you're fucked. She slams the door. I'm pleading with her to let me on. She goes, the door shut. But she saw me coming. And she shut the door.

I mean, it was one of those, she could have helped. So that's when I started snapping. I was like, please. And then she didn't help. And I was like, man, you're a jerk. I just fucking started losing it. And people start filming me. And I'm like, oh, no, I'm about to go viral for being a fucking nightmare.

Calm down. She goes, I can get you on a flight to, I'm in Philly right now trying to get to Vermont. She goes, I can get you on a flight to Chicago, which will get you into Vermont at 830. So I'm still going to miss the show. And I said, can you give me a minute to think about it? She goes, it boards in six minutes.

And I go, where is it? She goes, B4. I'm like, oh, all right. I start sprinting. I start doing the run back. And I get on with the last group. Oh, but you still missed your show. You still miss the show?

Yeah. We landed like, I landed like 830. The show was like eight. And I think at that point they were like, we can't chance that a three flights is going to. So we moved it to Sunday. I had to spend the next three days. But I landed, my friend Gary Veter's there.

And I was like, we need a good meal and to get fucking drunk. I already started on my way here. I already started with Bloody Marys. And he was like, he doesn't drink, but he knew I had a day. And he was like, I'll drink for you. Yeah, then the next day he was like, you piece of shit. What have you done to me?

Let me ask you this. How like, if you thought about like, do you drink every weekend when you're on the road? No, I mean, and if I do, it's very like, I'm better than people think I am. Like I think the reputation, you know, I have a drinking podcast. It's like, they think I'm worse. I pick my spots.

I mean, look, there's some, some weekends are more drinking vibes than others. Like, I mean, shit, I'm in Florida right now. Right. Hard enough, for whatever reason, there's like a real drinking energy in Florida. The crowds are drinking hard. I have, there's always some liquor in the green room,

but no, I care about, especially the point I'm at right now. Like maybe when the hour is more tight, I'll have a little more to drink, but I'm building an act here. I'm trying to rebuild an hour. So no, it's like, I have to be very present for it. Right. Yeah. I mean, that's like, yeah, I stopped drinking out there.

I went through a period of like, just not thinking like, what am I doing? Like this is your job. You're drinking on the job right now. Because it's, the vibe is, you know, if you're, the clubs, everyone's, it's like, they're partying. Like, and you want to- It's their night out, but you're at work.

And sometimes we forget that, right? Yes. And it, and that is a really, that's maybe the most slippery slope. Because it's like, even if you, I think a lot of comics can pull off drinking and doing their show. But the real issue is long term.

Like that's how you spiral slowly down. Because you're always every weekend. You can't do that every weekend. You can't do that all week long. And then you get like, Jesus Christ, man. I can't, you just makes you fat. Like I, like, I was up until like 185 pounds. You know, you're, I don't know how you, like,

if you drink, you're thin. I don't know how you do it, but like- Well, I, I would do like, you know, I try to exercise, I try to eat healthy. I, I will, I will say this. The booze does not lead to ordering the salmon. So that's the problem. Like, you know, you're drinking, you're like,

I'm craving chips. I'm craving fried food. So, and also I don't like going on, eating a bunch of fried food. I don't like doing an hour on stage. No. After eating like, you know, chicken tenders. It's just, it's not fuel for, for performing.

That's right. You can't like, no, it's like, I don't, like if I'm going to go on, it's like, chicken Caesar salad. And I try to like make it like hours before the show, you know, so that I'm not like fogged out by the chicken tenders or whatever. Cause that happens or you get gassy up there,

which is even worse. All right. Look, another one of these. Now this is a good one. I just ordered it. It's called the book of black magic impacts. So let's just randomly open it. I can't wait to hear what you have to say about this.

I haven't, I have yet to read this book. It's by Arthur Edward Waite. And it even like has the audacity on a book of black magic to say scholar select. So this is like a, this is an advanced book of black magic. All right. Here we go. First, you know what the problem is?

I'm opening up to weird pictures. What the fuck are these? Can you see that? Yeah, I can see that. That's very weird. Are you just, I feel like the other ones were passages and now I feel like you're going to cast a spell on me or something. No, I'm not.

Just like this book of black magic. You're just like stay. No, I would never cast it. I would never. Now look, I just want you to look at this for a second. Okay. Good. Look closely.

Take a deep breath while you're looking. Open yourself up to that. Now let me just show you one more thing. This is like a way for me to get you to give me all your jokes. Okay. Here we go. I'm afraid to read this. All right.

I'm just going to read it. Fuck it. It's just what I opened up to. Third, conjuration. I adjure the emperor Lucifer as the agent of the strong living God of his beloved son and of the Holy Ghost and by the power of the great, maybe I'll leave some words out, to appear instantly or to send my messenger. I won't read that.

Forcing me to forsake thy hiding place, wheresoever it may be, and warning thee that if thou dost not manifest this moment, I will straight away smite thee and all thy race with the blasting rod of the great Adonai. I'll say this, son of Lucifer, I wasn't aware he had kids. Terrible people love to have kids. They really, it's really, I'm like, I'm not having kids because I'm like, I'm like, I'm a road comic. I don't think I'll be present enough and Lucifer is like, yeah, I have a kid.

Fuck it. I'm ready. Look, that's probably Lucifer's wife. Lucifer is like, I'm fucking exhausted. Do you understand how much work goes in to making people sin on this planet and you want to have another kid? Are you serious? Fuck me, Lucifer.

He's like, oh, God, shut up. Oh, no, no. I'm getting a vasectomy. Okay. No, you will not get a vasectomy, Lucifer. What was that movie, Angel Heart, with the number with Mickey Moore? Great movie. I love it.

I love that Pacino's name is Lucifer. And I fell for it the first time I saw it. I missed it. I missed it, too. Oh, so stupid. Cypher. Louis Cypher. Oh, God, that is of all movies.

That scene with fucking Da Nero and that egg. Oh, those finger nails, those fucking fingernails. He's like, what does he say? He's like, many people see the egg as the symbol of the soul. Would you like an egg? And, you know, I don't want to give away, but like, when you know what the movie's about, oh, God, I love movies. And how hot was Mickey Rourke, dude?

Dude. He was a fine piece of meat that guy. He was a hot dude. Oh, my God. Do you ever see him in Barfly, the Bacowski? I read the book. I never, or the book that was based on the Hollywood, I guess. I never saw the movie.

It sounds great. It sounds like I would love it. It's Faye Dunaway, too, right? Yeah, Faye Dunaway. Yeah. And they're just drunks. They're gutter drunks. And, like, Bacowski, like, you read it.

You read him, like, he wrote about doing the moot, like being around Mickey Rourke and stuff. Oh, it's so funny how everyone in that book has just, like, legally, I guess, couldn't use their real name. So everyone's name in the book is, like, Arden or Seisei. Yeah. There's just characters with names like that. And you're like, this is one of the funniest things. And it's like, you get like...

It's great. That's a hilarious book. I love him so much. Like, he's like, I went through such a, like, seemed like such a fucking prickly guy. But then when you know about his childhood, it all makes sense. I mean, I remember reading Ham on Ryan being like, well, that's one of the most tragic upbringings imaginable.

I mean, just terrible. Yeah, he was, like, physical abuse, psychological abuse, like all the things that, you know, but, you know, it's... What do you think about that, man? I mean, this is something that, like, it's like baked into the idea of like, if you want to be funny, here's what has to happen. You have to be...

I disagree. I disagree so much with that. Aren't some people just funny? I mean, like, I don't get... I think we romanticize that. Like, maybe it's more profound when the person has had a horrible life and they were funny, but like, I think there's always something missing in everyone's life.

No one, no one's bad in the thousand. But the idea that you're funny because you're deeply neglected and unhealthy, I don't think that adds up. To survive in this business, you need love. You need support. You need to have your shit somewhat together. So I think we love hearing stories like that, but I don't pay a ton of attention.

I remember I saw Leonard Cohen interview once where they were like, do you need to be depressed because your music is so depressing? And he said, no, it's like the only way I could survive is in spite of the depression. Like, the depression is what kills me. The other shit is like when I'm present. Yeah, that. See, I love that because I think a lot of people somehow think

they can't be artists or comedians because they look back at their childhood and they're like, nobody was burning me with cigarettes. My parents loved me. Good. That's a good thing that your parents love you and didn't abuse you. But I don't. Comics sometimes look for like mental and psychological abuse the way rappers talk about getting shot.

Well, it's like, you know, it's not good. You know, I don't I don't really like that. There's a great quote. I think it's Gustav LaBear who said, be violent in your work so you can be ordinary in your life. Wow. And to me, that's like, yeah, you can be creative.

I mean, look, when crazy when bad shit happens to you, which inevitably it will, you turn it into something light and funny so that you can feel good about it. And so an audience can feel good about it. But I don't go out seeking bad shit to happen. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, this to me, this is like. This is one of the like dangerous things about really talented artists. You also have like serious drug problems is that people confuse like that they get confused and they think, oh, if I want to be as good as Elliott Smith, it's not enough to like get really great on the guitar or have a beautiful voice. I got to start doing heroin. Like that's the way to success. When it's like that was what was like fucking killed him.

Elliott Smith, he might have had a second chapter that was insane. He might he might be playing the garden right now doing shit. Like you don't know what you have in store for yourself in later in your life. Like you you have you have periods as an entertainer. You're not like look how much Carlin evolved and changed throughout his life. Like if he died at Bill Hicks' age, it would be a different story, you know. But I hate when people are like you have to have pain or I mean pain is a part of life. But I mean, I worry for people who are like

who seek that out because they think they need it for their for their work. Well, it's kind of subtle, though, isn't it? It's like you might not even know you're seeking it out, but you're sure like it gets real subtle and there's lots of drugs. It's not, you know, love could be a drug. It's not, you know, you could pursue toxic relationships. I Bukowski is a guy that people hold up or same with Hemingway guys who are very poetic but with complete gutter drunks.

I mean, you think about what these guys lived through and I mean, the fact that Bukowski lived to his early 70s was like defying the odds of how he lived. I mean, he was such an alcoholic and I'm sure those days when he was hung over and then kept drinking, I'm sure there were periods where he was like, yeah, I'd be better at this if I took a week off. Right, right. Yeah, but no, I mean, or did he? I mean, that's the other question is like sometimes people get so

like invested in that persona. He probably thought, look, if I don't keep writing as though I'm drinking every day, people aren't going to be interested in me anymore. So then you just start lying. You start acting. That self-esteem shit though. And that's maybe maybe you've cultivated a pretty dumb fan base if that's a concern or maybe that's coming from within and you're just really insecure.

I mean, I think the classic example is like super fat comedians. Like you get super fat, your body's fat. And so because your body's fat, you've got to acknowledge it on stage. But then they get all these jokes about being fat, you know? And so now they've got like 20, 30 minutes of being fat. So they think I need to stay fat. Like if I lose the weight, who's there anymore? Like, you know, like think of Louis Anderson, right?

Like Louis Anderson, it wasn't like, I don't know that he was doing a ton of fat jokes, but it was like kind of his persona, right? He's like the sort of like chubby, all-American dude. And I think that that's where it gets really dangerous is when your persona gets wrapped up in something that is killing you. But he had great observational jokes. He was dark. He was a great dark comic.

I mean, that like- But anyone who shows up, anyone who shows up to your shows mad that you dropped 60 pounds is not a real fan of yours. They're not rooting for you to survive, literally. That's not a fan. That's the devil. That's just, you know, I saw like one of Elliot Smith's last concerts the wrong name for it.

He was like high as a fucking kite with a guitar. And like he would forget words or he couldn't, he had to sit down or like he was just clearly impaired. And every time he demonstrated that, the audience would erupt with applause. People would yell, we love you. And it's like, oh, fuck, I'm watching a slow human sacrifice here. Oh, wow. You know, like this is, they're like, come on, die.

Come on, just die for us. Like, die, we want you to die. And it wasn't one person, it was the whole crowd. Yeah, it's incredibly dark and sad. I mean, he, yeah, I, my friend Joe List and I were, Joe's a great comic and we were on the phone talking the other day and he said, these musicians who play on heroin, he goes, I can't stay awake on Tylenol PM. Yeah.

And I was like, yeah, how the fuck did Slash do it all those concerts? Like how the hell these guys, you know, Speedballs. That's if I had to roll the dice, it's like not just heroin. They're like, we'll talk about rolling the dice. I mean, that's like speedballs. What are you thinking? Never done.

You just, if you ever done, done that like the combo of heroin, no, never, vitamin, have you ever done heroin? I've never done heroin. I've never thanked, thankfully, no. Have you? No, no, I've never done heroin. I got so lucky that I have such an addictive personality that if I'd done heroin, I would have killed me for sure.

I'm guessing it would have killed me. I mean, based on the guys on it, never like, I'll say this, the guys on coke, they look like they're having a good time. The guys on heroin do not look like they're having fun. You see that dude in the street. You're like, you're not doing great PR for this drug. I'm sure it feels great on some level, but you look horrible. You look terrible.

Do you say that to him? I go up to them and I say, I say, whatever you're doing is not working. That's my tiktok page. It's Samarill shames heroin addicts and it's doing great. We're crushing it. Well, I mean, yeah, the like this, all this stuff, like the necessary components to become a successful artist, you're a successful, wildly successful comedian,

becoming exponentially more successful with every fucking incredible special you put out. If you had to like, I don't know, come up with fundamental things, non superstitious things that up and coming comedians should focus on. And I'm sorry. I'm not asking for comedy advice. Like, but you know what I mean? Like, what are the like fundamental pillars of this bizarre job? What are the, what are those things?

I think a lot of careers, you know, like comedy where it looks like we're just going up there being funny. It's like anyone who's pretty good at what they do will make it look easy. Like even if you watch someone on ESPN and you're like, I could do sports center. And then you're like, no, that's a fucking that took work to make that look that easy. You know, yeah. So stuff like that. I think you realize like have humility and realize that it takes a lot of discipline

and hard work to make it work and make it look easy. So, you know, I try to always stay humble and, you know, and not I know how hard this is. I surround myself with people who are really talented and driven and those talented people keep my ego in check because I see how good they are. And I got, you know, when I know David Tell, like, how the fuck am I going to walk around thinking I'm this funny guy when I know someone that funny. So I think humility, discipline, hard work, same recipe for any, I think, career and for being a person, it's a lifestyle that can easily, if you have an addictive personality,

as you're saying, you can easily get hooked on bad stuff. You're out late, bad stuff happens late at night. You know, I mean, sure, you can do heroin at 2pm, but I feel like you're more likely to start late at night, you know, Friday afternoon. But yeah, discipline, trying to stay as healthy as you can. Obviously, you need stories. So sometimes you got to live life, but try to not be destructive and try to take care of yourself because the travel and all that shit in this job, that'll take a toll.

In of itself. Right. Yeah. It's like, this is the truth. Like it's not like, you might imagine some rolling party where everyone's funny all the time. And it's just this weird, like never ending, hilarious group of friends or you're out there on the road, it's like, just go and go and add it.

But no, it's like, I think it's actually probably way more boring. There's like an aspect to it that's just any successful comic. I know it's like they're, they're part that that is them. Like, I mean, Jesus Christ, I'm sorry, but I don't care what the childhood of the comedian was. I can't think of a hilarious comedian I've ever met that doesn't have personality traits that are completely antisocial or outside of like default reality where you're just like, what, you, what, you did that where you'd madness that is there. But then also it's like, yeah, there's a quality to them.

That's like a business person that understands like business and is organized enough to like handle their business while allowing whatever that thing is to it to exist. So last question, and I'm sorry if this is an uncomfortable question. And that's, that's a great, but that's a great point. We just said, I think about like the, the being able to not, like we are very much in our heads. I think they're expecting, look, there are some nights where we're all just zinging and zanging and being silly at the club and all ripping on each other and having a great time

and telling funny stories. But I do think you're right about the antisocial personality traits. We're like, I do like being alone. I live in my head and that's the type of comic I am. We're like, I just am like thinking and there's voices in my head and I follow one voice and I follow the other voice and that's where the jokes are. So what is that? You know, that's, that's my question.

Like if, like if, you know, some comedians, they're like, and if you can't talk about it, whatever, I get it. But, you know, some comedians, they're, they're like sex maniacs, like some comedians, they're shoplifters, some comedians, they're, you know, they're like drug addicts. If you like, is there any of those in you that you could talk about on a podcast? Geez, I don't know if I have like any one of those things. I feel like I look more to like a buffet table. I take like a little bit of all of those.

I'm not the shoplifting, but uh, yeah, no, not, I don't, I wouldn't say sex addict at all. That's like, I'm probably the opposite. I mean, I, I try to not think about sex on the road for the most part. How do they do it, Sam? Those sex comics, when I think about like on top of like all the shit, all the travel, all of it, somehow you still have energy to like bring girls back to your hotel and fuck after a show. What is that to me?

Oh, I mean, after a flight, I'm like, the last thing I want to do is not get sleep again. So yeah, I think that's a great point. Yeah, the sex comics are crazy. I like, I try to, for me, it's like less about like needing a toxic thing and kind of like having a hint of a bunch of toxic things. Got it. Love, I wouldn't even say toxic. I like a good meal on the road.

I like a good, a good drink. I mean, you know, a good whiskey or something. I just try to do it. There's behavior that feels really good in the moment and then afterwards feels regrettable. And there's behavior that feels solid in the moment. And then afterwards you're like, that was fine. I think I need the ladder to survive on the road. Right.

Yeah, right. Sam, what you are so cool, man. Thank you so much. You too, man. I love talking to you and I was looking forward to this. So thanks for having me back on this. Anytime. Can you tell people like you got shows coming up?

I bet you're, I bet you even have tickets available like after your special. When is it, when is it coming out next week? Yeah, I'll be in Louisville. Tickets still very available. I'll be in Louisville, new club. Looks like it's going to be a great club that I'll be in Louisville, Irvine, California the following week, Omaha, Phoenix, Lexington, New Jersey, OKC. I got a, I got a couple podcasts.

We might be drunk with Mark Norman and a new one called Games with Names with Julian Edelman from the, from the plate for the Patriots. Only Jewish Super Bowl MVP ever. Great guy. Awesome. And, and yeah, we got the whiskey out. Mark Norman and I call Bodega Cat, which you can get at BodegaCatWhiskey.com. It's a great whiskey.

So we're doing a lot. We're staying busy. I'm on the road. I'm trying to come up with a new act. So it's, it's the shows or have a workout vibe to it. But are you doing stuff from the special at all? I mean, you must be. You got to do it.

I did not, I did not last night. But I, what depends on the crowd depends how good the crowd is. If the crowd was very good last night, so I can get away with it if they're good. That's so badass, man. You just put a special at what? I've got, I've got hours of material just from doing this. So like I'll do really old bits sometimes. I did a lot.

And I did, I said, open with like 45, 50 brand new stuff. And it's not all great, but the crowds are great. So they're, they're patient with me. So I'm, I'm very fortunate. Friends, you got to go see him live. Watch his special. This is one of my favorite comics out there right now. Sam, thank you so much for coming on the show.

Thanks for having me, man. You're great to talk to. How did you say thanks? That was Sam Merrill. You can find him at sammerill.com. Big thanks to our wonderful sponsors. Come out and see me in Dallas, subscribe to the Patreon, and I will see you soon.

Until then, Hare Krishna. Cute and extra affordable. Check out the latest in store. And we're never short on options at jcp.com. All dressed up everywhere to go. JCPenney. With one of the best savings rates in America, banking with capital one is the easiest decision

in the history of decisions. Even easier than choosing slash to be in your band. Next up for lead guitar. You're in. Cool. Yep. Even easier than that. And with no fees or minimums on checking and savings accounts, is it even a decision?

That's banking reimagine. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See capitalone.com slash bank for details. Capital one and a member of DIC.