Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 537: Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: November 11, 2022

Ari Shaffir, comedian and one of Duncan's best friends in the world, re-joins the DTFH! Check out Ari's new standup special, JEW, available now on YouTube! You see all of Ari's upcoming tour dates on AriShaffir.com. You can also listen to his podcast, Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank, wherever you listen to podcasts, and follow him on YouTube and Instagram! Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg. ExpressVPN - Visit expressVPN.com/duncan and get an extra 3 months FREE when you buy a 1 year package. Squarespace - Use offer code: DUNCAN to save 10% on your first site.

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listening to the Duncan Trussell family, our podcast. And with us here today is one of my best friends on Earth, Ari Shafir. He's got a new special out right now on YouTube. It's called Jew, and it is a masterpiece, a work of art. If you know anything about Ari, you probably know that he has done horrible things online. Terrible levels of obscene trolling that have earned him

death threats, rejection, and absolute confusion by many of his friends who worry, my God, has he gone insane? Why in the name of God would you stick a stick into the ants nest of society when you know for sure that you are going to get swarmed, stung, bitten, attacked, canceled, double canceled, triple canceled, banished, and reviled? The answer you will find in our conversation.

We talk about the art of trolling, the motivation behind trolling, and Ari's method of trolling. Trolling is a lost art, but it truly is an art form. And we're going to cover it all here with the Lord of Trolls himself, Ari Shafir. We're going to jump right into that, but first, this. So we all know how ExpressVPN protects your privacy and security online, right?

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Right now, you can get an extra three months of ExpressVPN for free. That's expressvpn.com slash Duncan. Expressvpn.com slash Duncan to learn more. Thank you, ExpressVPN. I hope this ad doesn't get me arrested. My dear loves, tomorrow I am headed to Fort Worth to do some shows at Hyena's Comedy Club.

I hope you'll come see me. After that, the next day, I'll be in Dallas and I would love to see you there. You can find ticket links at DuncanTrussell.com. Just scroll all the way down. Also, I've got a Patreon. You can find it at patreon.com forward slash DTFH. I hope you will subscribe.

And of course, I have a YouTube channel, which I am beginning to develop. It's gonna have all the weird stuff that doesn't quite fit in to an audio podcast. And soon, you might even find some video of the most sacred and powerful podcast on planet Earth, according to Gaddafi before he passed away. May he rest in peace.

He was a huge fan. All right, sweeties, let's dive into this episode. With us here today is someone that I came up in comedy with. We both worked on the phones at the world famous comedy store and have been friends for years. I hope that you will check out his incredible special. It's on YouTube, it's free, it's called Ju.

All the links you need to find it. All the links you need to find Ari will be at DuncanTrussell.com. And now, everybody, please welcome back to the DTFH, Ari Shafir. Women on Top These Words Welcome to Purple Golf That you are without shame

And know you do your room Welcome to you 薙 Duncan Trussell Hey, Ari, welcome to the DTFH. Duncan Trussell, family. Howard? Yeah, that's how you pronounce it.

Everyone pronounces it wrong, though. Yeah, it's weird. I've been seeing them do that for years now. It's fucked up. And I talk about it a lot. I've said it a lot. And then they still don't get it. They don't get it, man. They just don't give a fuck.

Ari? Yeah. What the fuck's going on with you? What are you doing in Austin? You're on some kind of weird podcast tour. You got to go to the airport in 20 fucking minutes. I'm the last on your sleigh of podcasts. You couldn't do the morning.

You were first. You couldn't do the morning. I could have done the morning because they canceled that thing. Well, anyway, so you're doing a comedy special. Yeah, it's out right now. What's it called? Jew. It's my opus to my childhood.

What do you mean? It's the best thing I've ever done, Duncan. It is really? Yeah. Now, where'd you shoot it? The home of the Jews. You shot it in Israel? That's not the home anymore.

What is it? New York? Brooklyn, New York. Oh, Brooklyn. I was going to say Roger Waters would be fucking pissed. Oh, my God. How fun was that? Now, that was one of the most surreal moments of my life. So real.

Watching you on acid. Yeah. Getting chastised by Roger Waters because you said that you thought he should not boycott Israel. Yeah. I it wasn't even not boycott Israel. It was like, dude, your show is so it made me it made me think like the Palestinian conflict is the same as the conflict in Yemen

and Guatemala and all these places. And I was like, man, if you took that to Israel. In my head, I'm thinking like, you know, to show these some like people are thinking about peace a little bit, the young, you know, army people already thinking about it. He goes into like three or four different groups that have been like downtrodden, you know, and then when he gets to your group that you have like a say in, then suddenly like, oh, it's the same thing.

You can't pick a side. Right. So then it's like that message there would really do something. And he wasn't he was not into but also I think it's important to know that this some people when they're going off on you. Yeah, it's legitimate anger. Like it's like their inside is poison. They hate you coming out of him.

It was not that we wouldn't have enjoyed it. It was passion first cause. That's what it was. It was also pure delight that at the end of the night, so I gave him the chance to really go off. It was like watching the Tigers look one night guys. They released a donkey into their pocket. Yeah, exactly.

That was like, oh my gosh, you just had the best show of all time. And then suddenly here is Ari Shafir eyes dilated. Yeah, dilated eyes. We've all been like just like all of us just like awestruck by being around. I mean, so fucking brilliant. So every time you want to join in, you're like, actually this guy's been a legend for fucking almost half a century. Like it's not a conversation.

Like sit back. Don't don't especially as interviewers. You want to like get a conversation, but it's like just let him talk talk. Try to stay awake and let him talk. Let him talk. And then there it was at the end of the fucking night. Right at the end of the night. Wow.

Can't leave a conversation. All the comics, like we were like everybody's so delighted because of all of us to get into that kind of conversation with you are the best one because you weren't going to like back. You would not back down because you that was what was really cool. You kept challenging him about it. I thought was fucking awesome. It was pretty fun.

I was it's like I like BDS stuff. I've kind of heard about. I know it's his like big cause. I'm sure they have a good point stuff. I don't know how many of that side says this is what you have to do versus just it's a cause. I really don't know. Yeah, I was always go to Israeli study there in seminary, you know, and so

it was like a lot of times you get a cause. You're just like you have like a 2% knowledge of it and you're like this. I'm like down. You're like, okay. Right. You're like, and so you start arguing, but you don't know. It's actually what he said. He goes learn everything about a subject and then let your conscious take

over right, you know, conscience. I don't really know everything about that subject. I was just like, I visit myself to. Yeah, you know, you don't know anything about the Israeli palestinian comp. I know somewhat that it's so much deeper than it than anyone goes. It's definitely this is definitely that. I'm like, no, it's kind of it would be nice ones to blame.

No, it's not. It's cool though to like it'd be nice. If you could just be like, I really don't know. That means I can't take a firm side except one based on me wanting you to like me, right, which isn't even going to be the truth anyway. It'd be a good angle to take. That is the angle for most people. It's like, I'll say you're right.

Cause I want you to let me like me so bad that I'm going to tell you that I'm on whatever side you're on, but then that's all you're going to get in that situation is bullshit. Like you're not getting a real thing. Yeah. Not like, what do you think about this? I think that's wrong, but okay. Yeah.

You never get that. You never get that. It's so funny. I talked about the people I know where it's like COVID was very divisive. Really? I never heard that. What do you mean? Maybe it's just New York.

I don't know. Did you hear there were like opposing opinions about it and stuff? I heard they were. I never saw any, but I heard they were opposing. I never saw anyone having a problem with it, but like in casual conversation, how little conflict I want. I'll just agree with whatever side you have. We're at a party.

Right. And I don't care. So you're like, can you believe that make you do this? Like, I know you're not doing this because I know, right? Well, yeah. It's just like, sure. But that's the best way to deal with that. This beer before like, let's get back to that.

It's like, you know, like, uh, those terrible videos, like somebody working at a fast food restaurant, getting paid like minimum wage. Doesn't should not be looking at the manual they give you because it's like, you're not giving me enough money to study. I actually study like I'm not doing rehearsal. I'm not doing this. I'm going to come in and I'm going to like look at whoever the other people, whatever the other people are going to do it, but then the

grease fire starts and they throw. They just, they didn't look at the manual. Hey, I don't do this. Water puts out fire. And it's like, whoa. Holy shit. There astounded. It makes no sense.

It's like, they didn't know that happens when you, but what this is the identical thing that happens when you engage with somebody's aggression. Isn't it? It's the identical thing. It's like the moment you just don't react. It's, it's not. That's the best thing. Don't react.

There's no, they don't have the, what there's no juice to run on anymore. And to go like, can I just play devil's advocate? It's like, don't why you're actually not talking to them. Don't place devil's advocate. Don't play devil's advocate. Don't play the advocate. I do love it though. I love poking.

You love poking too. Yeah, you, but you love poking in like you, you like, I think my level of trolling in my old age has diminished somewhat. Yeah. Whereas you. I think it's like the ISIS of trolling golden age right now. I think we were in a power position. We've never been in before the reach we have.

They gave us, we never had nuclear weaponry. We had an occasional like one-on-one or a message board, you know, with 30 members and now we can just let the people we troll spread it to others. Okay. But here's the funny thing. Oh, you, here's what it is. A good time. You, yeah.

You, it's not that you don't want to deal with somebody. Yelling when they have some opinion about something. It's that you want to be in control. That's why you troll. I mean, you know what I mean? Cause it's the, I want to conduct. Yeah. You're conducting a reaction.

So you still, but, but if you're like around somebody who's like passionate about this thing or that, you're just sort of backing out to let it die down a little bit. Right. In like a regular conversation. You don't troll in their regular. I didn't want to be part of that. You don't want.

And then you get drawn in every time I've ever gone to a fight. I don't like, it's like, I barely know about this enough. I'm talking about what I don't know. Right. And so then you talk about little things. We're like, you know, you got to visit your family. He's like, what does that mean? I'm like, and then it's like, you know what family is dude?

Come on. But it's, it's fascinating though that you will, but then it's like, I should be like, but you'll go online. Yeah. And you will say some horrible, the worst thing I've ever, I don't believe it at all things that offend me, offend me when I say it. It's like, this is disgusting. And without question, you know, when you're doing it, you are, you will become

like a Nash, a temporary national pariah. Everyone. So angry. Everyone wants wanting to kill you. Kill me wanting like online online. All your friends will get worried about you. Yeah. Yeah.

Sorry about that. So what, what now? They've stepped it up where they involve other people now. They don't just come up to me. Let's go into it. Yeah. If you describe to me the feeling that you're having day two after completely upsetting some fandom, some group of people day to cloud nine.

They too still great. I haven't lost anything yet. You're getting off on it. I love it. What's the feeling like? Look how angry you guys all are for some person you don't know or that's not a feeling described. Oh, right, right, right.

If you can success ownership over things like that, like, like you've just like dominated the thing. Like, like you set your mind to stuff and then you see a perfect example, like a perfect in and you fucking take it. Um, you know what? This is like, man, it's like interviews with Jeffrey fucking Dahmer. He's like, legend, legend, legend, same shit. You know, you didn't expect to get a knock on your door and said, Hey,

do you have to rush and Jeffrey Dahmer's like, Oh, come on in. Oh my God, I just saw us in my house. It's like when you find like drugs at a music festival. Yeah. You see a back and you're like, Oh my God, but we just offered a position. Uh, there's an old golfer. I forget who it was. Talked about it.

They said he got really lucky. He did golf shot out of the sand and you're like, man, you got really lucky. And he goes, and more I practice more people say that. Yeah. Um, yeah. How do I practice more people? So you're saying you practice drawing? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, in this case, I've been hitting the Lakers for so long. I've been shitting on dead people for so long and they're in there. When they're the most revered. When I think like, this is God like, I don't like it. You feel like you're knocking over idols. Not what? Knocking over idols. Yeah.

Yeah. Breaking down idols, breaking down idols and false idols. I don't think you even believe in it. It's like, if you really believe in Jesus or Buddha or, you know, or any of the robe guys you like, or like, um, or like, yeah, not all heroes are robes. Um, then it's like, no, no, sure. You have a belief system, but this is like, you don't have a belief system. You're being a hypocrite.

You're just lying about what you actually believe right now. And I want to point that out. Hold a mirror. So that's, so you feel like you're doing something on a public service. Artistic service. An art. It's an art. It's an art point doesn't it?

And again, I, I'm sorry for trying to reduce it some reason. You want to analyze it. It's okay. Not like, you know exactly what, what you're doing. There's that too. Right. There's an innate sense of like this feel. Like they said, like we studied Hitchcock in college and he always like,

had it, if I remember a little piece of it, they had an upside angle shot of the character and that would be when the character is going into a place he can't come back from. He's about to get into a point of no return. Right. He's entering into a bar and it's like, that's what he's about to get framed for a murder. Right.

And so anyway, it's giving away. Hitchcock's giving it away. Oh, this guy's, if you know his stuff, this guy's about to, and it was like, is he conscious of that? And the teacher was like, I, I'm not sure. He might just be using that shot all the time without really thinking what he's doing. Okay.

Cause it felt right. Day five. That's trouble. Describe that. It's like, oh no. I still am totally happy with what I've done, but I'm not happy with the feeling of like seeing my friends try to separate themselves from me. Friends that were like fine with me day one, but then when they are seeing

the public outrage and suddenly like, oh, I'm sort of seeing the point with no new information. Right. Two people to 200,000. You hear the point. Not feeling good about it. Friends that are like delivering apology speeches. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like for being not for what you did, but for just knowing me, I had black friends that were being called tunes for having opened for me two years earlier. That's horrible. Crazy. That's horrible.

It's crazy. And, and so then I'm like, sorry to them. But at the same time, like look what I've exposed in all of you that you're being racist to some young performer because I've pointed out one of your heroes, but, but that's really that you think that so you I've exposed this stuff in you that it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You so you for you, it's kind of like, look, you're doing by this rotten thing I'm doing. I'm holding up a mirror. Yeah. I don't even have to go to you. It's not like I'm going to some funeral or something. I just go to my own feed and then you'll send this hatred and take it to

other people. I got once I did, I did one about, um, Kenny Rogers. Right. I had all these like middle-aged housewives coming after me. What were they saying? You're a piece of shit. You're not funny. By the way, what the fuck did you do?

Did poor Kenny Rogers? Poor Kenny Rogers. I agree. What did you say? When he died, I said he was so racist that he wouldn't have fried chicken and he only had roasted chicken to keep black out of established burning in hell. That's fucked up. Was he racist?

No, not at all. I don't think I have no idea. Probably not. It's too much in this dream. Yeah. That is what we are. It was about throwing babies in a sack and fucking throwing them in there. I want to thank square space for supporting this episode of the DTFH and for creating

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Squarespace.com Ford slash Duncan. Then when you realize how incredibly powerful it is and you are ready to launch use Africa Duncan, you'll get 10% of your first order of a website or a domain. Thank you, Squarespace. So let's like, is trolling a new thing? It's not new. It's evolving. It's taking finally into public eye.

You've done it, dude. Oh, I've trolled. I mean, when you got me once that when the amazing races of this old sketches I did for national impunes and they got ripped to the internet. So they take got their contacts removed, which is whenever ready. It's upset almost always when context was removed. Yeah, 100%. So you take out, this is an easy one to understand.

You take out the stamp of the national lampoon DVD, right? You take that out and just go, here's some, what somebody did a horrible man. Same thing in mind. It's like, if you take out, oh, he likes to put fun at dead people in their times of like, you know, reverence, you take out context. So anyway, people got mad at me when it got online. Like, what the fuck is this? Thought it was real.

And they googled me early Google. And the very first thing that came up was artistic terrorism. Oh yeah. Someone grab that domain for me. And it goes, Hey, everybody, if you want to crank on my friend, Ari should fear record it and send me the best ones. Here's his number. And, and dude, I didn't know it was up there.

And you didn't have to click on the link. It was just, you could read it right there. Three, two, three, six, five, six, something. You didn't even have to click on the link. And the call. No, don't be sorry. Cause the calls that would come in at first were troubling. And then we're so funny.

Like I hired a bunch of Latinos to build a deck and I took him to INS was a sketch was the fake, fake hidden camera. Yeah. It was all actors. We hired him for the job back. The call my answer machine. I eventually turned my phone off during my phone. Just so I get answered on sign cause they call all night.

Just nonstop calls. And, uh, I'll build a deck in your ass homes. That threats once I got over that these are not real. They were so joyous at a job. Well done from a friend of mine. Unintentional. Well, you were trying to get in the crank call me.

I was trying to do something mean to you before that. It just took longer to take effect. Yeah. The troll, the troll had a, got a life of its own on that one. I mean, like, if you thought about the history of trolling, like through the ages. No, the New York Times wrote a nice piece on me. What did they say how trolling is an art form?

They did say that. Look at it. Yeah. Yeah. See, cause I had in different things. Jackass and like Tom Green. It's newer versions of it. Jonathan Swift.

Lenny Bruce. Jonathan Swift is a great one. The, I say about eating poor people's kids. Yeah. A modest, modest proposal. It's like we have overcrowding. There's not enough food to go around. I propose we eat some of the poor that way.

There'll be less poor and more food. Can you imagine if he had a fucking answering machine and his number was out there, the funny. Now that's a literary genius. And I think at the time people took it not real, but if you showed it now, but what the fuck people thought it was real. People thought it was real.

War of the worlds unintentional trolling. They missed the intro. Right. Unintentional trolling unintentional trolling. Yeah. They missed the intro. But I'm sure he was like, that's cool.

I thought it was real Blair, which intentional trolling intentional trolling. They let all that campaign all around. Well, I found something was the first one. It was like that campaign was like, they found these videos. What are some other versions of trolling that you can think of off the top of your head?

Birds are real birds. I'm not real real the Illuminati. People say is a troll. It's not a troll. What? Well, I mean, it's I mean, it's based on like a factual organization, the Bavarian Illuminati.

It's like there was a it's a it's a branch of the Freemasons. Yeah. And the you know, the Masons have all kinds of weird fucking like signals. They send to each other to let them know what's going on. Like baseball. Baseball is a troll. Well, baseball is not a troll.

I'm just saying this is never an exciting sport. Everyone just thought it was exciting. Everybody thinks they're playing baseball. They're really just sending Masonic signals. What was it? What other trolls? I'm trying to think of all religion. There were lies.

You know, like they let Jesus the Romans let Jesus go because like we can help control them. So go go. If we don't that's something that they do say you believe that what you believe they let Jesus go. No, no, they let the idea of Jesus progress because they're like if that's what you guys are into, it will be citizens.

One of the weirdest things I heard about Jesus is so when he's on the cross, he says I'm thirsty and they imagine you're fucking nails in your hands. You're suffocating from being like this and falling down and be on weight and all you want to just like I'm thirsty. Wow. He was the son of God.

You know, I don't think that I would have that kind of confidence. No, I'd be like who duck his last words. But I wouldn't if it wouldn't have occurred to me when I was being crucified that there was table service, right? Like I wouldn't have been like they're gonna give me water. Yeah, probably not. We're killing you. Yeah, you know, you don't get water.

You're not at a restaurant. We're killing you. But they they they take a sponge and they put it in something and it gets translated as vinegar. So it's kind of like they were torturing more by giving him vinegar. But the actual translation, it means bitter and a lot of people say that that's a word that they used for opium like an opium tincture back then because Jesus died sooner.

Then people usually die when they're being crucified. It usually takes months. So the conspiracy theory around the crucifixion is they drugged him to make him not feel it. It seemed like he died. He didn't really die. They've Romeo to us. The rising from the dead thing.

It was like he was seen. He must have been rising for the dead. Yeah, I don't know if he saw him. But somebody saw. I don't know. He's out. But the left basically that in this version of it. The story is the go ahead and then at that point Jesus goes, Hey, actually,

I'm not looking for this fight. That was way harsher than I thought. I'm out. I'm out. He's out. And people like they're saying you're great. Let him think that I'm done. I don't care anymore.

I'm being a guru. I met a guy in Hong Kong part of the part of the revolution. I met him in Ecuador and I was like, how's it going? He's like, I'm out. So I had a gun pointed to my face. I had a gun pointed this far from my face with a guy who was allowed to use it on me. Yeah.

And I'm like, I don't want to do this. He's done traveling. You're you, you, you know, like it's exhausting. You're Jesus was just done. Well, no, well, this as this conspiracy theory goes. Jesus essentially it's like the Romans. They're killing Jesus because Jesus was a revolutionary basically and he was someone who is pushing back against the theocracy that was happening

with him so that the Jews wanted to kill him because he was like fucking up the whole priest class system by saying you don't need anybody to talk to God to do it ourselves. We can do ourselves big when you've got a business going, you can convince people you can talk to God and they can't. There's so much money in that. Can't we just nuke Assange? Can't we just drone Assange?

I think we're from famous words of a leader of ours. Did they say that drone him? Who said that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton? Well, she was Secretary of State. That doesn't sound like her. Can't we just drone him? Uh, that's fucked up, man. I didn't know she said that.

Yeah. Well, anyway, the conspiracy theory. I mean, I didn't hear it. The conspiracy theory goes like this. Jesus not really dead. Obviously he ends up going to Europe, right? Like Jesus ends up living the next part of his life and there's now descendants of Jesus living to this day.

It's Jimmy Christ, James Christ, Lewis Christ. No, well, that's what this is what, and you know, I don't want to make you on if he's listening to Lewis Gomez uncomfortable. Yeah, but this is actually where the conspiracy ends. Lewis J. Gomez is the direct descendant of Jesus Christ. Christ. I love when he's a direct descendant. Like you just mean descendant.

Well, direct descendant. That means that's mean brother and sister kept fucking all down the line. Brother, sister, brother, sister, brother, sister, brother, sister. Yeah, man. That's what Lewis Gomez would explain a lot of his let's just say the way his eyes are set. Let's just call it that. But yeah, man, that's like that's like the, you know, because to go to

the Illuminati thing. This is actually a part of like a lot of people when they are in their contemplation of secret societies, they always assign nefarious motives to their activity. Yeah. But also. I wouldn't have to be. Yeah, they troll.

So there's trolling that happens from the secret societies from the elites that isn't designed to cause for fun. Just for fun. Yeah. Why, why wouldn't they have some fun with it? If you think of this, you end up, you realize there is an Illuminati and you realize that you didn't even know it, but many of your friends had already been inducted in it for a while, right?

And you realize that like part the way you go into the, you get into the Illuminati isn't like someone taps you out like at a frat or something and it's like, Hey, we're going to, we're going to get you in here. They fucking haze your ass, but in a different way. They haze you by like doing all kinds of things to you. Maybe they like for fun. They make you famous and then they like, you know, they give you all kinds of weird shit that doesn't make any sense.

Like all the stuff that you've had in your life. You're like, how the fuck did this happen to me? I was working on the phones at the comedy store and like now I'm free as a bird, I get to travel wherever I want and do whatever I want and all this stuff. It's all a big troll. They're just like, okay, let's, let's give him everything he wants. Keep giving him everything he wants. And then at some point it starts dawning on you.

Like, wait, this, holy shit, the more successful you get, the more like you get into rooms that you normally couldn't get into until finally it's just all your friends dressed in fucking robes. They're like, Ari. You're finally here like the end of a lost when they all have to get to the like heaven or the purgatory. I didn't fucking finish last year. Shit.

I've been watching it. Ah, fuck. I'm just kidding. I haven't been watching it. But at the beginning of this clip, just put heavy spoilers. A heavy spoilers. Yeah. So yeah, so let's just imagine you now we're in the Illuminati.

You've been inducted. This is how we do it. We say it out loud in front of everybody because nobody's going to fucking believe that we're actually in the Illuminati. It's obviously me rambling. You're now in the Illuminati with absolute power, power. You can't even fucking imagine. Tell me about the trolling you would do.

Wow. Wow. I'm gonna have to control the media. Yeah. You have control the media now. Like you're literally like when you go to parties and you see like Rupert Murdoch. So I wouldn't want to make everyone think there's a war coming. Like, like, let's just say I could make up that Ukraine Russia happened.

So it makes everybody think I fuck one of them. Nuclear Brinkley Brinkley of nuclear. Yeah. Nah, that's not quite fun for me. I would want them believing something small and ridiculous, but have it be just standard knowledge. Like what? The spoon was invented by the Italians at first. And had to just be like, oh, yeah, yeah, we all know that.

Just have it so out there in the world. Yeah. And then every time I'd hear it, it'd be like, oh, like, you know, Champagne is actually only from the province of Champagne. And there's every time I hear that, you know, some dork says that. Inevitably from Southern California is actually, you know, Champagne. I don't know if you know this. Like, yeah, we all know it.

We've all heard that. Why do you say it? Why are you saying it? Why are you saying what we all know? Yeah, I mean, sparkly. Yeah. Okay. I mean, sparkling.

Why do you even think we care? Why do we want to know the history of fucking champagne? You don't care. You just heard something. We're having mimosas. But imagine if you heard that and you just see everyone's like, oh, yeah, yeah. And then you're just going.

Yeah, it's not true. There is no place called champagne. So funny. You just quietly have it. See now this. Okay. This is what makes you an actual troll because and I read, I don't remember. I was reading this wonderful essay that someone wrote on trolling and they,

they, uh, it's a really funny thing. They interviewed a troll, which is like, okay. You don't know what the fuck they told you. It's like who the fuck knows. But the troll was like expressing like kind of dismay at the characterization of trolls as like bad people or what? What? Sorry.

Doing obvious shit. Like, yeah, that's weak trolls. That's like, that's imagine if like a high level Chuck Pollinock high level writer or Van Gogh was like, uh, looks at your child's drawings or writings and goes, oh, they're writers or painters and like, right? That's who you're going to say we all are. Right. We're on another level.

Right. You're analyzing us by our worst. Yeah. But people go like, oh, it's easy to do that. But no, it's not. I've tried many, many times to get a national debate going. Right. It's a very, very rare thing.

Yeah. You can't just do that. No, no, no, no, you're, you're hacking. You're basically hacking the. Break into this thing. They're fucking really unlock it. It takes a lot of work. Well, it does when you are alone and you don't run the media.

When you, if you ran, if you run the media, it's like, it's like literally access to the motherboard. Like it's like putting just new chips in and the way you would do it, you know, cause all like some, you know how, you know, a war is coming or, you know, like some awful thing is coming is all of a sudden out of the blue, the media will just out of the blue, they start talking about something. And you're like, Oh shit. Something else is happening.

Or they'll be like, you know, all of a sudden you have not thought about Cuba at all for years. Yeah. They set the table for you. All of a sudden it's like, you know, a leak shows that there is a humanitarian crisis in Cuba. They've, they've, they've started torturing Christians in Cuba. Christians and puppies.

And you're like, wait, what? Oh no, we're going to go to war with fucking Cuba. You know, it's tenderizing the steak or whatever. Right. And then the war comes. So you, your thing, the way it would look is just all of a sudden you'd be watching the news and they would be like, what was the thing with spoons? You said the Italians invented them.

All of a sudden it'd be like, yeah, you know, a new historical document reveals that. Upads. Spoons. Fun piece in the style section. The Italian spoon. Yeah. Celebrating Italy with a spoon.

Yeah. You'll see it sometimes. Trenzel start that spritz was big for a while. I don't know where the apparel spritz. There you go. There, but then it got bigger. It's just something everyone's doing. Everyone's talking about everyone's eating kale.

Well, I mean, they didn't before. This is what happens with this is like when one of the Wizard of Oz, when the, when the curtain goes up is when you get a publicist for the first time. And you realize, oh my God, it's all trolling. They're lying. They're they're trolls in a different way, which is that they just are generating buzz to promote someone to promote someone. Like, you know what I mean?

You like if all of a sudden you notice that trending. Yeah, you'll see it. I remember seeing as a kid when I saw on the back of like parade magazine. Remember that one in the back of like the Sunday newspaper and they had a little piece on she's dead now. She was an eight mile and she was in a, I'll never tell Britney something. Remember that preview? I'll never tell Britney.

I don't know. She was a chicken eight mile. Okay. She was in clueless also. She was working clueless and then she turned hot and it's like weird. They're running a piece on this and then that movie I'll never tell whatever that was that came out and it was like, oh, they're setting the table. They're trying to make her into a star now.

And it was like, they're not just randomly running a piece on someone. That's it. And anyone who they're doing a piece on it's like they're, they're, they're about to have a thing. There's a publicist behind it always. And from someone who's had a publicist, you do. You can't get publicity when you're not about to release something. There's no story and it's also not cost effective.

That's it. Except the highest level people. That's it. But yeah, the highest level people, they'll just like for whatever reason they need a, they need a fucking dopamine rush or something. So they'll just like get a publicist. But all of a sudden when you see a proliferation of vapid stories about any given celebrity, just know somebody got paid a shit ton of money to make

that happen. Right. There's no more journalism. Like I've been researching Julia Roberts. Right. What happened to her? Come back. I just want to write a story about that.

Like they present it. That's it. That's it. And that when you really, like when you start realizing that when you're watching the news, you are watching cause cause propaganda propaganda. And it's like there's, it's no different when all of a sudden like, I don't know, uh, you, you realize like everywhere there's a new story about how electric cars are going to fuck the environment up.

Yeah. Like what interests? Why? Where is that coming from? That's not coming from environmentalists. That's coming from the fucking oil industry. It's like we got fuck these electric cars. Let's make them seem like they're even worse for the environment than oil.

And then boom. Yeah. They'll try to align you with images or stories that are negative. So it's like, oh, I don't know. I talked to my mom's like, what do you think about, uh, um, who's Snowden? She's like, well, he's a traitor. I'm like, interesting. I wasn't going to fight with her.

I was like, man, but he said how Congress was like lying to all of us and getting us into wars and like lying to like the mill that was lying to Congress. And he exposed that. No, I think he's a traitor. I'm like, okay. I can't blame her. She read stories. She read like, you know, I'm a version of whatever I was raised with.

Right. So any, like that's backwards thinking for social stuff. I'm like, yeah, that's what I was taught. Yeah. I'm the fucking school system. Right. And so like once you align stuff with images, it's, you can't, it isn't, you know, just can't like get out of your head.

Well, you can't, you know, you can't fucking do. It's really hard to put the toothpaste back in the two. You can't put it back in once you condition the masses. It's just, it's what's like, well, why is that? Like I know, like I can't prove that the earth is not flat. It's not like a whiteboard. You know, once it comes out that whatever the fucking lie was that you put out there, cause that always also happens in there.

All of a sudden, cause you know, in the beginning with the vaccines, all the conspiracy theorists were like, these, you know, and doctors were coming on me like, you know, I don't know, these vaccines might cause some real serious problems. It might be that some of the shit is not staying localized in the injection site, all these things start coming out and those people, they're getting fucking just eviscerated and the reason they're being eviscerated is because the publicists for the pharmaceutical companies are like, we got to sell these

fucking vaccines, bitch. Bury that. Bury that shit quick. Yeah. Now. Well, same thing. We've got to go to war. So like, it's a fucking bit of Snowden.

Yeah. Fucks that guy's doing our whole thing. When you're also, when you're. When you're on a shaky. That's my, me not knowing what I'm doing. That's the camera running out of juice, whatever. It's the wide shot who cares. I'm not going to use the video anyway.

No, we get close up, dude. I'm in the same boat. My editor Marissa is always like, I'm like, make fun of me when you're doing the editing, say, always dumb fucking non-charging is evident in three, two, one, gone. Yeah. We have it up until then. Finish what you were saying and let me, and you keep track of time, but

because you're the one, what was I saying? You're talking about Snowden. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it comes up as like, is like, he's this bad. You want to tell you's a bad guy and the publicists, they have something to gain and you don't know why you think, I don't know.

It's gone. Well, we regard like you. Yeah. It's a story that they're trying to prep you for. Then one of the fucking things that's happened now is. Oh, I know. Go ahead. A lot of people have a shaky.

This is a good example of a shaky platform, a base for their reality. Yes. They haven't thought it all out. Right. You'll get this with atheists. You'll get it with religious people. They're just raised with it. You'll get it with woke, not woke.

The statues to stay. Oh, but it's doing this to the community or the statue should go. Yeah. People's like a path of the past and they haven't really thought it out. They just kind of have a belief. And now if I'm solid on my ground, if I'm standing on the ground and I believe something, Duncan is my friend. Yes.

And then somebody goes, well, you know, he'll turn you for this. I'm like, no, he won't. Well, you know, he said this, he didn't. That's wrong. Yeah. He had a reason for it. Yeah. No, Duncan is my friend.

It's not shaky. Right. But if I'm on a shaky thing, like the, despite the vaccines, the master, the only way to stop this and have to be, and it's like this and somebody's like, well, what about this? You're like, hey, man, I'm going to fucking fall. Get out of here. Get the fuck out of here.

I'm going to fall. Yeah. And it's not comfortable. Yeah. But someone can come to me with the sun won't come up tomorrow. And I'm like, it will. I'm not going to yell and scream. I just, I just know you're wrong.

Exactly. Yeah. That's, that's the thing is it's, it's like the problem is people on shaky ground and especially people who've been living on, you know, you're on a boat long enough when you get on shore, it feels like you're on a boat. So like if you're living in a kind of like semi-truth state for like your whole life and then all of a sudden you make contact with the truth, it's going to feel like you're seasick.

Like you're, that's, you're going to get hit with like this initial wave of like what? I can't be right. You don't mean that. And then, and, and, and that's like, and so then you get back on the unstable ground because the stable ground to you is normal. You've adapted to live in consensus reality, perfected the ability to ignore the fact that a lot of the time, shit that you initially believed turns out

to not be true. Yeah. When you, when you learned about America and maybe we weren't some fucking questionable conflicts because you were raised with like, we're the best. Dave Smith says the best. Like they literally taught us at a young age that our first leader was physically incapable of telling a lie. Right.

We were like, uh-huh. And now that you're older and you hear that like, oh yeah. He's a six-year-old and I cannot tell a lie. Take George Washington, the classic, like George Washington, George Washington is and will always be somebody who was a human trafficker. In fact, syphilis, one of the top human traffickers in Virginia and syphilis. He was a human trafficker with fucking shitty teeth with shitty teeth that were, that were slave teeth.

That's not wooden teeth. They said wooden teeth, but he would like put slave teeth in or replace his teeth. So he's a human trafficker who wore the teeth of people that he'd imprisoned to do labor for him, who he was breeding and who he would sell their children off. Like he was like selling like puppies. Like it was, it was not just a, it was not, it was like a puppy mill,

but for, for humans. Now this is the truth. Right. But then when you met with that, anyone older like shut up, shut up, shut up. Or there's all kinds of ways people react to that. Some people will say, don't get all fucking woke on me, bro. It's not woke. It's true.

There's nothing woke about it. He was a human trafficker. Now the, the reason they said, cause at the time that wasn't that weird. That's why people want to let it go. All right. So now that thing that you're saying there is one of the things you were going to take, like Snowden's a traitor to deal with the cognitive dissonance of the fact that one of the people who founded our country was

a human trafficker who wore the teeth of his hostages and would murder and beat them if they tried to escape. What you do is you have to fix it. So you're like, look, he was, it's essentially being bad for the time. Look, Dahmer, he was just a kid. He was, you know, experienced. You don't want to say like what will happen is like all of us will in sometime in the next thousand years or less be horrible humans.

If they looked at all of us, did you hear that Ari Shafir had a dog? Yeah. What? What do you mean? What do you mean had one? This is when dogs of all, yeah, not to make a comparison. They're what I'm saying is the, the, the, I don't, I don't agree with you. I think that the problem is that a lot of the slave owners, like I'm

actually one of the nicest ones. Well, yeah, though, that's another thing people will say. So they will say, so the first thing is this. They use the word slave, which is better than saying human trafficking. So when they talk about slavery, they don't say they don't, and they use slave instead of hostage because even though slave ain't great. If you say, it's lost its meaning. It's lost its meaning.

If you say hostage human trafficker, it makes you immediately realize like, okay, the other thing is, is like this thing about how, you know, people, that's what the economy was like back then. Like they, he was grudgingly. He's like, ah, you know, I really don't want to fucking buy all these humans. And I know that like I can listen to the parents screaming when I sell their children and it really is eating me up inside. But I screaming, but I kind of have to do it right now because,

you know, I'm just a product of my times. It's like, okay, then how come slavery wasn't happening all over the fucking planet? It was happening in some places. But what about that? What it's not your, your, basically the ideas is like, first of all, George Washington was not that long ago. Chappelle did this wonderful joke about that.

He wasn't so they didn't know any better. I think like, I don't know. Things were just don't, some, some things you can't face it. But were they like, with that, with that idea, you're going to have to write off everybody from the past. And, and at some level, I go, yeah, that's okay. You don't have to revere anybody from the past. You don't know.

You just revere their teaching or their artwork. You don't have to actually like them as humans. And that's when you get lost. That's the, to me, it's like, it's just like Kanye. You could just love his music and just don't have to listen to who he is. Well, right. Like this is, let's say, let's say that like Alex Honnold. That free climber, right?

Let's say it comes out that Alex Honnold had a farm somewhere in like deep ranch in Texas. He had 20 hostages that were growing cotton for him there. And so would this change the fact that Alex Honnold is an incredible climber? No. Absolutely not. This is the problem they have with Nazi research. He's, what do you mean?

They did all this research on Jews, the Holocaust, medical research. You're, oh, which is like, what do we do with that data? What do we do with the data? What do we do with that? Yeah. And there's, you know, it's split on that, but, but that's a harder one. Cause that is like, this is something we can get, but it came from this terrible thing.

Alex Honnold in this story didn't have his slaves build the ropes for him that he'd be unable to do it without the slave. It's a separate thing. Right. You know, you're not building our Kelly didn't use the sound of fucking the pissing on girls to make his music. Just like a separate thing. We don't know that.

We don't know that. Yeah. Michael Jackson's like incredible. Might have been like him mimicking these kids. God, that'd be incredible. If you could turn the sound of piss into like beautiful singing, it would be a nicer world. It would be a much nicer world.

But it's like, don't face that. Just get the things out of it. Just get the joy that you wanted or something and leave the rest. Like, it's not a fucking world about, or like get a little more sophisticated in your thinking to understand that to, to the, that these things can exist simultaneously. And as far as George fucking Washington goes, just tell the truth. Yeah.

I saw a lady on Twitter shortly after there was a basketball player who died and she goes, listen, it's possible that he was like a really good guy and a great basketball player and also looked like there was probably a committed rape once and all these things can be true at once. And she received probably 7000 death threats. Yeah. Check from Westworld. See, now to me.

What I've been thinking about lately in this regard is Carl young famous psychologist. Yeah. He had this idea that, you know, he's the one who came up with the concept of the shadow, which is all the shit about you or that you don't want to acknowledge. Right. So all the stuff you've done easily barrier.

Don't think about it. You think you can bury it, but you can't. It's going to leak. It comes out no matter what. It's just going to. It's like when you run into a person and your past, they are they casually will just over dinner. Something will pop out of their mouth that you realize like, oh my fucking

God, you just told me like your deepest secret and you don't even know that you said it like it'll just it's called leaking. It's like the shadow leaks out. You can't repress it. Truly it leaks. Prably. Yeah. Well, one of the main ways that leaks is in your projection.

So you might be one of those. If you run into someone who thinks that everyone's a thief, probably this is a thief you're talking to. It's a person who steals. They can't deal with their own lying or dishonesties. They see it. Yeah. Yeah.

So some so young took it one step further, which is there's not just your own unconscious. It's got all the shadow shit in there. There's the collective unconscious, which is everyone's shadow. Right. The way it leaks is the leaders. So the leaders of any given country are a reflection of the shadow of the individuals coming out.

And so so we're all capable of this. The leader shows his capability of doing something terrible or whatever or whatever leaks out. And then everyone's like, we're set back in. Politicians lie. Yeah. All right. That's what happens.

All politicians. Why are you okay with it? Well, the reason that we have lying politicians is because we're all lying to ourselves. And because we've like, so you're seeing like that unstable thing manifesting in the form of our leadership, which of course would be deceptive since we're all trying to exist in a half truth shadow world. Anyway, you know, people don't want to believe that George Washington

was a human trafficker. Help people against their will. You know, people eat the shit out of them, punch them in the face at minimum. Yeah. Right. But if you leather and just fucking raked it across, deal with it. It's like the moment you, you know, the moment you like, whatever the thing is you've done that you feel incredibly remorseful about the moment you're

like, I, I did that, but I did that. And it was bad. Instead of here's why I did it. I'm a victim or I shouldn't have done that. That was not cool. The moment you're just like, no, I did that because there's a part of me that's just like fucking. Yeah, I do like saying something when I, when I, when I'll say something

publicly of like, you shouldn't attack other comedians publicly. Something you should go straight to them if you have a problem. Yeah. Or just like it's hard enough. It's our team. I think it's our team. Yeah. But I'm like, it's wrong to do it.

And I do enjoy saying, and I know it's wrong because I have done it. Right. So I'm not on a higher ground here. I've just seen the light a little bit and you shouldn't do that, but I get it. I've done it. Yeah. Exactly. I mean, this is why I say over and over again, you shouldn't dig up

graves and suck off corpses. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Right. Right. Because of the cavities you get.

Yeah. And I can say because I get it. I know the joy, the moment you get the car that you finally open it up and it's not completely dissolved fucking dirt is on top of a coffee. You know, sometimes they go lower than six feet. Yeah. And that's the worst feeling when you're like, is you get used to six feet and then all of a sudden you're like, mother fucker.

They like did an extra eight foot county dude. It's the worst. Is that last two feet? You think it's only two feet? It's like, no, it's 33% more when you're already worn out. Sun's about to come up. You got to get suckin. You got to get suckin fast.

There's no like, there's no milk in it. There's no like, let me take a rest. You're like, you've been doing the blow and you're almost out of the blow, but you're going to leave just enough. Are you going to catch a plane? Tell everyone about your special. Where they work and they see it. Did I tell them people about this Roger water?

It's on YouTube right now. Guys, it's free. Literally. It is the best thing I've ever done and I thought about selling it and then I decided I'd rather give it to you guys. What is YouTube? YouTube is a platform on the, on the internet. It's something that was invented in the winter, I think.

I haven't read the whole story. I think I glanced it up. Hugging headline. Yeah. It's like videos. Yeah. It was invented by Jim Gore, someone who got Gord, I think. Doles, dope fruit plants, one of those and it's like videos of such.

Yeah. Like that. Yeah. Videos and like, and I think you can like buy stuff there too. I don't know, but it's there. It's called Ari Shafirju and it is. So I went to Edinburgh, uh, fringe festival, the most exciting artistic place there is for comedy.

It's 1400 comedians all doing a show every single night. Wow. Yeah. In addition to trapeze and books and music and all sorts of stuff. And I was exposed to this like style of comedy, this British festival style of comedy in which they picked up a theme, but I had a major problem with it because I think rightfully so that American comedy stand up is the best by far.

I had a film teacher in college and he goes, Hey, there is where he started teaching American film and he goes, there is other film out there. French film is good. There's other good film because it's not a debate. American film is the best. So there is good stuff out there and you can find and we'll teach you some stuff here or there, but we're, it's Hollywood is, it's got the most money behind it.

Right. We're the best. It's not a question. I'm sure no one's going to disagree with what you just said. They shouldn't. I definitely won't help this algorithm to get seen more if it does, but America stand up is the best and the people that are doing it in other countries either understand that and are trying to catch up and they have the

best chance or like in the UK for a lot of people go, No, well, you're not going to ask and they hold it over them that they don't do these themes. These theme hours and what I've seen of these theme hours right about 35 to 40 minutes in they get Uber serious for about 15 minutes. Yeah. And I worship the God of laughs. And so what? Satan, Satan.

Yeah, Mitzi. Okay. Yeah. And I don't allow that. There's no time for that. And I've seen great comments like Miss Pat will talk about her rape from an uncle and she won't wallow in it. She gets through it.

You're laughing the whole time and then afterwards like, wait, was she just talking about her rape? Richard Pryor with his incineration and then like, yeah, we can get there. I can talk about dark stuff. All these greats will do that. Yes. Miss Pat is on the level of Richard Pryor. Right.

In this moment. And so it's a cop out to go. Let's just get simple guys. We're all together. That's where I learned something. Yeah. South Park would make fun of that. They go right at it when I don't have jokes.

It's so much easier to get serious than guys for real though. For real. It's the best. You don't have jokes. You're didn't write. You haven't been working on writing. You just say something serious. 10 minute serious.

Shut the fuck into easier than writing. Why aren't you punching this up? So I went to I went three years every other year. First year. I took my storytelling show there. I started seeing all these hours. I'm like, interesting. And then I had to Edinburgh plan to go show them what an American hour was

like, which is just and I had a deep back in my head. It was my last hour. A little bit of a theme. What your life would be like with kids or without kids, but it's very understated and then go show them what an Edinburgh style hour is with an American sensibility. Okay. Laughs all the way through.

Right. And every time I thought I was done, I was like, no, they'll get me on this, but yeah, I'm talking about what Judaism is, but I didn't talk about what my Judaism is. I didn't have any personal stories in there. So it can't just be explaining what Hanukkah is. It's what I went through as a kid during Hanukkah when somebody got a better gift than me.

So I can tell you my experience, the customs, the laws, all of that while still maintaining any bit that can follow Bobby Lee or Mark Norman with at a fucking guy. It's like you're teaching, but it's funny. It's a spite special special. It's teaching. Right. You will come out learning something, but if you don't want to learn anything,

that's fine. You're just going to laugh. Wow. Don't think of this as a one man show. I think of this as just a comedy hour. That's cool, man. That's super fucking intentional thinking about it, building it for five years. Wow.

Yeah. That's the dream, man. I like to be able to pull that off is so cool. It must have taken a lot of work. It took a lot of work and luckily I got some benefits. Like, like, I don't know if you ever think about this. Like if you would book to sitcom, what a fucking loser you'd be now, what a non-creative loser you'd get sucked into this world.

I think about it that if I had gotten this thing that I wanted, I wouldn't be a free performer. Right. And if I had put out this special two and a half years ago, I had to put it away for a few months and then I had to put away for COVID for a while. I came back to it with this fresh, fresh ideas and fresh mind. I could look at it from an outside perspective and all these setups were too long.

I'm like, chop, chop, chop. I got to see it from an outsider and it was such a fucking blessing. Cool. This thing is so much fucking stronger now. Cool. And I want to start doing that with all my specials. Instead of recording it and going on vacation, going on a break, I want to put it away, go on break, come back, then we dust it off, see what's

wrong, what's not good, see what's evergreen, what's not, then record it. That's fucking cool, Ari. It was, I'm so happy with it and I just want everybody to see it. I spent literally, I figured out 43% of my life savings on it. Wow. I don't want to sell it. I just want people to see it. Everybody go and watch Ari's amazing new special.

What's it called? Jew. Jew. Very simple. It's on doles, YouTube, on the winner net. On the winner net. All the links you need to find it are going to be at dougatrustle.com. Ari, it's great to see you, man.

You too, buddy. Which you can stay longer. I want to say this before I left. Seeing you at the fucking Roger Waters and like knowing you're there somewhere. I'm like, hey, I can't, I can't. I'm tripping out. I got to enjoy this and you got it.

I know you're like, hey, I'm tripping. Of course. Especially when he's like, turn your fucking phones off. Like, hey dude, sorry. I'm listening to you. And then we're leaving and somebody's like, Duncan. So I was like, where's Duncan? It's a stadium.

He goes up there. A 10 rows up. I'm like, Duncan, and you got that. I don't want to be recognized right now. I'm tripping out myself. And then I don't know how to. I was like, Duncan, it's Ari Shafir. And I hadn't seen you in so long after one of the most amazing, creative

experiences I've ever been to on assets. See my friend. What a fucking, what a, I can't stop thinking about what a moment that was. My heart when I heard that I'm all right. It's Ari Shafir. My heart just is like, it's the best dude. So cool. I wish you were out here more often.

Yeah. Yeah. I love you buddy. Love you. Yeah. Thanks Ari. That was Ari Shafir. Everybody make sure you check out his special Jew.

It's on YouTube. A tremendous thank you to our sponsors. And most importantly, thank you for listening. Come see me. Shows are at dunkitrustle.com. Just scroll down. I'll see you next week. Until then, Hare Krishna.

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