Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 539: Johnny Pemberton

Episode Date: November 25, 2022

Johnny Pemberton, hilarious comedian and one of Duncan's best friends on planet earth, re-joins the DTFH! Check out Johnny's Twitch! You can also listen to The Leather Rose, Johnny and Duncan's podcast. And you can learn more about Johnny on his website, JohnnyPemberton.dog. Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg. This episode is brought to you by: Squarespace - Use offer code: DUNCAN to save 10% on your first site. Lumi Labs - Visit MicroDose.com and use code DUNCAN at checkout for 30% Off and FREE Shipping on your first order! MasterClass - Limited time deal! Visit MasterClass.com/Duncan to get TWO MasterClass Annual Memberships for the price of one!

Ghost Towns, Dirty Angel, out now. You can get Dirty Angel anywhere you get your music. Ghost Towns, Dirty Angel, out now. New album and tour date coming this summer. Hello pals, it's me, D-True Cell. And this is the Dunker Trussell Family Hour podcast. And today, one of my best friends on planet Earth is here with us, Johnny Pemberton.

My God, he is brilliant, hilarious comedian. If you happen to be in New York, you can catch him live. Also, he's got a wonderful Twitch channel. It's at Johnny Pemberton and I'm so proud of the podcast that I've been creating with Johnny. It's called The Leather Rose. It's indescribable, but if you want to see it, check out my YouTube channel.

There's going to be a live video of a recent one that we did. It should be up there by the time you listen to this. It's at Dunkin' Trussell on YouTube. If you want commercial free episodes of the DTFH, go to patreon.com, forward slash DTFH and subscribe. You'll get access to our Discord server, which means you can connect to a family

that will eventually be more important to you than your own life. Also, we get together twice a week, just about for a weekly meditation and a family gathering. I hope that you will subscribe. Now, everybody, please welcome one of the smartest, funniest people living on planet Earth today, the great Johnny Pemberton.

Welcome to Dunkin' Trussell on YouTube. Johnny, welcome back to the DTFH. I'm so excited to have you on. I know that a lot of people probably don't know what you've been up to and it's just crazy to me that you're finally able to talk about the fact that you have shifted careers and are now an executive at Halliburton.

How did that fucking happen, man? But what about comedy? You're so funny. Why? They have a huge comedy program inside the executive suites at Halliburton. It's all insulated. It's like being on one of those cruise ships.

You know what I mean? You mean everything you need to stand up? Yeah, there's a whole scene there. There's multiple clubs. In the facility? Yeah, there's like an underground, sort of like a black box, 45 seat theater. 45.

That's cool. I guess to work on beds. There's also a 250 seat sort of a proscenium stage, sort of like cobs in San Francisco. And there's a 150 seat, kind of like a, it's more like a classic mid-sized club. You'd see like in the south or something like that. It's great.

It's awesome. A lot of cool comics, you know, on the scene there. That's totally not what I, that's completely not how I pictured the job. I thought the, I picture, I was just trying to picture you like in a suit or whatever, like designing weapons. You can wear a suit if you want to. They actually have a, on Tuesday nights,

it's a eighties night. And so it's like, it's like all you do your hack stuff. It's like a throwback. It's really fun. But you, now the other thing that I think is a little weird about it, no offense, man. I'm happy whenever anybody. No offense.

Don't say that. I'm not going to get offended. Okay. You can't offend me. I'm happy for you. I love you. I want you to be happy, but. Right.

I just, when you told me it didn't, it didn't make sense. I guess now it's kind of making sense, but still like what, what about, you know, you're, you're not only one of the funniest comics I know, you're also a really great actor. Like, yeah, like what about that part of your life? Like, is there acting? I mean, there's, there's also the black box theater.

You can do plays there. There's all kinds of stuff. It's really open to doing whatever you want. It's a real, um, you know, what they say is you can make of what we have, how you will. It's your, it's yours to make of what we have, how you will. Yeah. You can make what we have, how you will.

You can make what we have, how you will. That's they're saying. Mm hmm. It's a circle. It's in a circle too. You can make what we have. How you will. Seems like an anagram or something.

I don't know. I wouldn't think about it too much. No, I'm not going to stop thinking about it. Don't think about it too much. Wait, hold on. You can make. What is it? You can make, you can make what we have.

You can make of what we have, how you will. You can make of what we have, how you will. Yeah. Hold on. You can make of what we have, how you will. A lot of W's, a lot of Y's. Hold on. Isn't there the thing like in the Jewish Bible where every word combination?

The Torah? In the Torah. Yeah, sorry. Yeah. Every word combination makes a number, right? Yeah, definitely. So what is that called? That's called.

It's called numerology, right? No, it's called. There's a name for it. It's called a. Hasid, Hasid, Hasidism. I'm just curious what number that adds up to what other words that that equals anyway, look, it doesn't matter. I just seems a little creep.

Something about that just seems really creepy. I mean, also, what about the fact that that you're working for a company that like is making weapons? Yeah, they make weapons, but they also make great furniture. However, it makes furniture. That's how they got started. Yeah. No furniture first.

That's what they call themselves. It's FF. You'll see a little tiny, tiny FF before everything they do. It says tiny FF furniture. So you're working in the furniture manufacturing part of the company. You're not working on weapons. What do you say? Welcome.

They switch us around all the time. It's a revolving, you know, you're here for a little bit and you're there for a little bit. You're really all over the place. It's you're supposed to, you're not supposed to specialize because they think that that breeds like a certain type of contention among people who worked there. So they want you to just, you know, branch out, meet people.

Do you, is it like a room like when you're working on weapons? Is it like a writer's room to people pitch out weapons? Or how does that even look like? What is that? Well, we have a big, we have a barbecue. It's a constant barbecue. It's been going on for about, I think 16 years straight. I was 16 years straight barbecue.

Yeah. It's never, hasn't stopped yet. There's always someone there cooking like a burger or steaks, maybe smoking like a, a suckling pig, something. Maybe just some little old classic 1919 hamburgers, sliders and a tray of beef tallow, like it might just be that, you know, it's over a barbecue. That's where you pitch your weapons ideas. Yeah.

You just hang out and that's the writer's room. It's just the barbecue. You don't have to eat meat too. They do have all kinds of vegetables. That's really good. Vegetarian, that's nice. Yeah. But do you, so can you share any like weapons ideas you've pitched or

furniture ideas you've pitched? No. Come on. Well, let's just say, I'll say the one thing. You know how they always talk about like a, like people want to stay in their, their recliner. People don't want to leave their, a lot of people, once they sit in their recliner, they don't want to get up.

Okay, right. Yeah, sure. You're not going to have to. That's so sinister. Like a recliner weapon. It's not a weapon so much as it is. I mean, what is a weapon? No, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You're telling me you combined their furniture with their weapons program. That's fucking horrible. Like one part of them was great and then the other is atrocious and you went in and like made some hybrid. Like why don't we bring the two departments together? Now I didn't do it. I didn't do that. Okay.

Everything was before me. I'm just a part of the, you know, it's like, what point is, is a water droplet part of the river? You know, it's kind of like hard to say. What point is the river making recliner bombs? Yeah, I don't know. That's a good question to ask. I'll bring that up with the next team barbecue.

So what do you guys do? You just like parachute recliners onto the battlefield, hoping someone like sits in them or what is that's, no, that's, that's the furniture department. I mean, everything, everything does everything. Everything's like a full on. Don't say that. Don't say everything is everything. Nothing is everything.

Well, nothing, everything is nothing. No, nothing is everything. Well, it's black. All the colors are none of the colors. Black is, I think it's all the colors, right? Terry is black. All the colors. No, not anymore.

Hey, Michael, did Terry just ask you? Yeah. Why did you tell him that? Michael, you tell Terry that it's blacks. All the colors. Sorry about that. Oh, it is. Oh yeah.

Terry just told me it's all the colors. Yeah. See, that's what I was saying. Okay. We got to cut to a commercial. We'll be right back. Okay. I want to thank Squarespace, not just for supporting this

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And we're back. So Johnny, hey baby. You know what? I know there's like, I don't know what you can even talk about, but you're in New York right now. I'm in New York. I could see behind you the beautiful New York skyline. Are you guys about to get hit by this like super snowstorm?

No, I wish we were. I'm so disappointed, man. I was really hoping that we get to actually thought about going up to Buffalo somehow, like just doing a little, a little bit of hitchhiking to get to Buffalo just to see snow. Hitchhiking to the worst snowstorm of all time. Is it people are saying this is like the literal, like there's never been anything like this.

It's pretty cool. If you think about that, to me, extreme weather there, it rained here the other day, like last week. Yeah. And I was stuck. I was outside. I was trying to run an errand. Yeah.

So happy. It just felt so good to have like a, I have a new rain jacket on and I'm trudging in the, the wet, having like the winds hit my face, all the water droplets and stuff. I mean, I think it's still totally a novelty to me. It's so much fun to, that's the thing about weather is nothing you can do about it, right? It's fully and totally you get to, it's the rare chance you get

to just be like, well, I guess I can't go to work or well, I guess we're not going to have to do that thing. I don't want to do that. No one wants to do. That's like, I miss that so much. All that is great until the power goes out. Yeah. But if you, if you, if you're anticipating that, then you can

handle it. I mean, most places have a fireplace. You should have a fireplace probably. Not most places have a fire. I guess you're right. Not most places have a fireplace, but yeah, most places have a marble lion that produces the heat generated. I'm just thinking about the last department I stayed in had a

little fireplace in it. It was so cool that it had like a little, yes, an old apartment. You know, it's an old, all the new ones. They don't have fireplaces. Yeah. You're fucked if the heat goes out. You're fucked. And even if you do have a fireplace, you still have to get

wood and then like, you know, so I do know what you mean where all of a sudden, you know, sometimes the weather will just say, fuck you to civilization and be like, no, we're, we're back in one AD. We're back in like, whatever you're dumb little civilization. It was cute and everything 300 years ago. And I even now we're 300 years ago now. Let's just forget all the whole electricity stuff.

I like that you guys did that and everything, but we're just going to just get rid of the electricity thing. And then all of a sudden you're like, oh shit, we're like three weeks away from just, you know, going back to the way the shit was before this little like bump in history that we call the industrial revolution or technological revolution. That's what you would like. You would like it where the snow does everything but kill the power

and I want it to kill the power. I would like to be thrust into that's the difference. You know what? That's the difference between someone who has kids and someone who doesn't. Yes, definitely. Someone who doesn't have kids is like, I don't need this fucking power.

You got kids. You're like, man, I need my fucking noise machine. There's gonna, we need baths. We got it like this is serious. I got some old bread, a half a jar of peanut butter and a case of beer. Yeah. I got some friends. I got a bunch of rope, some blankets.

God, I mean, John's got some books. The other thing whether it's like when you get that reminder of how fragile everything actually is, like you think it's so solid. You think it's just like guaranteed internet, guaranteed. Even if you're in the back of your head, you're like, I know that like sometimes this doesn't work when that shit happens. And you realize like, no, it could just be that the whole technological revolution was like a minuscule phase in human evolution.

I mean, it's technically is right now. It's still very much just a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny little part of time. Like it's so everybody thinks it leads to something more like the general consensus is like this will lead to the AI, which will lead to the nanobots, which will lead to some, you know, wild alien future. But like within the conversation, very little is said about are just everything just stops working. Yeah, it gets as high as it can get.

And then it all of a sudden turns to dust. Maybe that's the whole point of it is just to get to you build something so high that it falls over. Tower of Babel. Exactly. Yeah, the Tower of Babel. It's just the Tower of Babel was really a story about like, well, actually built into the sector of the universe that you're the sector of the galaxy

that planet Earth is. You know, you, you weren't aware of the laws of the month is the next. Well, the laws of Samantha next says you can only build an AI to tier seven. And then your planet built it to tier eight. So yeah, we're going to do a back switch or tier, tier eight is the reset. So once you hit tier eight, it just, it's, yeah, it doesn't work. It doesn't work in this dimension to be, to be on tier eight. Yeah.

If you can't figure out how to transcend, if you're particular universal, you're, you're particular incarnation can't figure out how to transcend to that dimension to accept tier eight. And it just resets and it starts all over again. Like one of those, um, like one of those, those robots that tries to do, tries to solve a maze, like, you don't want to go down super fast, hits a dead end, goes back up. It's like that kind of shit.

And we're just on that robot in the maze and we hit a dead end. If we go to tier eight at the wrong incarnation. Yeah. These assumptions, right. The assumptions of that, that we've already figured out all the laws of the universe. Like we know, obviously you don't drop off a cliff, you don't put your hand in fire, but nobody knows.

Like, oh, you don't fucking build an AI to that level. If you do that, you alert the, the Phenizians and they have to come and like redistrict your planet. The fucking, the donkeys show up. Yeah. Just a bunch of donkeys. Just huge dicks. Just big old donkey dicks show up and they just blast you.

They're giant donkey dicks come like a wrecking ball. You are warned. Where did you not see, uh, uh, goblia techie? You did you not see the hieroglyphs or clearly on the beer mids showing not to do that? Why are you fucking talking? I didn't see anything. I mean, did you watch Graham Hancock's?

I haven't watched it yet. I gotta watch that. Oh God, that's great. I don't watch it. Oh my God. He is like, this guy is like, just like riveting. He's like, he's Indiana Jones. He is the real deal.

The real deal. The real deal. And the like, it's so the, to me, the crew, like there's so many creepy things about any of it, right? Regardless of like some of the, uh, what is his hypothesis. I won't spoil it, but this is about ancient civilizations. Well, yeah, it's just like there's, you know, he's really good at emphasizing that they knew how to do that.

Like they knew how to build that thing, whatever it is, the snake mound, the cigarette, the whatever, but it wasn't just they did that. They knew how to precisely align it with, you know, the summer equinox or with, you know, specific planetary formations that produce insane how it's possible. Right. Like for all of us, you like have to have our Google maps on

to get to the grocery store. Like they're like perfectly aligning massive slabs of stone to sort of line up with the serious, you know, like, and then, and then within that, there's all these like mythologies, which just get discounted. You're like, okay, whatever the fuck your stupid mythology is, like, great, you got the big rocks to line up with whatever the thing is, and that's great.

Congratulations, but we're not going to pay attention to your reports of how you learned how to do that. That's bullshit. The stones are real, but the whole thing about the guy from the sea with the fucking info about how to do crops who says he came from a place that was destroyed by the gods because they were to disobeying the laws of the gods. Shut the fuck up.

It reminds me of the whole idea. Remember a math class when like when you were like in fourth or fifth grade or whatever, when the whole thing was you have to show your work, you can't just get the answer. You have to show your work because it's a show how you got there. And if you deny all this stuff, if you deny all the mythology, but you're just looking at the results of it, you're basically

acting like they just used a calculator or they didn't use a calculator at all. They did this all long hand. Somehow. And that's that's yeah, that's the that's the work is what we listen to this on this cloud formation and we notice these all these very subtle things we decided to build on them and maybe yeah, there's no way to know obviously to what extent

is an intervention and what is observation, but that's like yeah, denying all the mythology of it is just completely denying the journey, which is the most interesting part of it. Like the fact you did is great. But how you got there, that's always the coolest thing. I mean, it's when like and he's so good at like pointing that part of like archaeology out or it's like here you have, you know, it's we crazy is like I can't remember the name of like

a particular pyramid, this massive pyramid. And then they realized from doing like scans, oh, actually there's another pyramid inside that pyramid. Well, they Russian dolled pyramid. So it's not just this one massive pyramid. They built a pyramid around that pyramid and a pyramid around that pyramid and a pyramid around that pyramid till inside there's a kind of smaller pyramid that connects to natural

springs. So you age date you age date the oldest part of the thing and you get a certain time when the pyramid was built. But when you start going underneath an age dating it all of a sudden it keeps going further and further and further back. And that's where he's controversial is because archaeologists are like no, no, no.

People weren't do those the Stone Age. No one was like capable of doing any of this shit back then and it's like, okay, well, then what about the fact that this is how do they do it because they did it. They did it. Not only did they did it. They aligned it with serious and then so but let's then then it's like, you know, but let's not take any of like what they

carved on these rocks seriously. Even that's the other crazy thing is that like around the planet like various civilizations that never made contact with each other doing the same thing simultaneously. Yes. And versions of the same story. A guy showed up with a beard. He said he came from this place.

He taught us how to do this stuff. It's just crazy. It's so mind blowing to like think about coincidence. It's too, it's too much coincidence. It's too high, too high of a coincidence to not be. Yeah, it can't be coincidental. I mean, it could be, but the more it is, the less likely it is.

I mean, odds of it. I guess like you could argue that I remember in psychology class, uh, Carl Jung, they were like, we're studying Carl Jung, the famous psychotherapist and he I think worked in a mental hospital where a schizophrenic started like yammering about like how the sun has a dick and the dick touches the earth, like, you know, stuff that like normal be, if you heard, you know, anyone screaming that out, you

would, you know, you might be a little turn across the street. Yeah, but you would just be like, all right, whatever. But Jung had this like library of like all these like anthropological studies of, uh, various like, uh, indigenous cultures and he remembered like this guy was like articulating specifically the cosmology of this one rare group of like, I don't know, almost an uncontacted tribe from wherever. And so like, and so that's, so Jung started coming up with

this idea of the collective unconscious idea that we all, we have our subjective dreams, but there's the dream of humanity and that maybe that there's a guy in mind or something. So maybe from his perspective, the reason that, you know, all the, these, these various civilizations that never met each other have similar mythologies is because, well, they're, it's all, it's one, it's the collective showing up regardless of like literal contact with one another.

I guess if you wanted to come up with a really shitty argument for why, and you also in the midst of that, when a discount whatever you single one of these, can you imagine like you somehow with your people managed to build a pyramid that to this day, we don't know how they fucking built it, right? You paint, you carve inside the pyramid. Well, here's how we built it. You see, this guy came, they had new magic.

They taught us how to do this new magic. Yeah, yeah, they knew, they knew, like they knew how to do magic, they knew how to connect to some fresh magic to them. It was new magic. So you like, you're specific. You're like, you draw the picture of the fucking UFO with the, it came out of the sky. They came from serious.

They told us to align the thing with their civilization. So we can receive signals from them and you show it on there and then modern people are like, yeah, the pyramids fucking impressive, but whatever, who cares what they had to say about how they did it. You're just like, fuck their stupid story. That's not real. That could have happened.

That would be very frustrating. Probably if you realize, like modern people would just like whatever the pyramids cool. I guess I don't really care, but who cares. So frustrating. Maybe it, maybe it tells the magic givers that we're not really worth or not really worth sending any new magic to because it's like, if you're not grateful or interested in

something, it gives someone a message. Like, why would you want to give someone something if they just don't want it whatsoever? Or maybe that's right. Maybe that's a thing that's happening. Right. They were just like, don't go back there. They're assholes.

They just don't give a fuck about like any kind of cool. Like, especially if you're just some pyramid fetishist alien civilization, they just don't like pyramids. Why didn't they keep building pyramids? Oh my God. What's that skyscraper? We told them to make pyramids. Fuck them.

I mean, the collective unconscious thing makes to me, that always has made so much sense. It can't not be true because nothing else could possibly explain those things and something like that. And everyone's experienced something that hints at the idea of a collective unconscious. Everyone, even the most like jaded people had a thing. I mean, you call it like, no, I was a coincidence.

What a coincidence. Right. But how is it? There's so many coincidences that coincidences that happen that you have to, it has to mean something more than just, just randomness. Yeah, it's too, it's too bold. It's too like a constant and accurate for it to be just nothing.

It seems like something a very sophisticated joke thief in comedy would be like, look, man, I just tuned into the collective unconscious. I didn't, was I your show? Did I see you do that exact joke? Maybe, but I don't remember. But what happened was I call it, it's the collective. It's not even a joke.

I just got a collective one. Do you read that book? I told you about the one, Big Magic by Elizabeth. What's her last name? I forget. I started listening to it, but I didn't, I didn't get further along the way. But I did get the audible part is not the best, but it starts

to get kind of pretty cool when she talks about ideas and stuff. And like this whole idea of like a muse, it's very similar to that because she talks about how she thinks a lot of people think that if you get an idea and you don't take action with it, you know, the ideal will go to someone else. Right. Yeah. I liked that part of it.

Like if you don't, if you're like the, the music is just looking like for a printer that works. And if your printer's jammed up, the muse will just go to another printer. Yeah. I mean, that kind of, all the stuff she says in there is very, very, um, on point with that idea of things just being like some sort of a back in, like a back into everything, like the

other side. I always think about that whole idea, how they just recently discovered about how, uh, just the existence, the definite existence of dark matter and how it's the majority of the matter, like it's slightly the majority of the matter is dark matter and how that is, that's such a, I mean, the fact that that is, is known is so incredibly, I want to say deep, but it just, it means so much that most of what is out

there, we don't even know how to look at it. We have no idea how to access it. It is completely and totally unavailable, except for like the tiniest fragment of time that we're able to measure inside a fucking tube under the ground in Switzerland. Otherwise it's just doesn't exist. We have no, no knowledge of it. Now that's the case.

Think about how much is just not even, not even visible in the visible light spectrum. That's like a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny fragment of our awareness as humans. So there's got to be just, just fucking an unfathomable, unfathomable amount of something. Of a thing that is able to travel or transmit or communicate or something like that.

Like there's no way to possibly understand it. What do you think it is? I mean, that's what, I have no idea. I think it's probably, we're in Vegas. It's like, okay, what's dark matter? What is, what aren't we seeing? I think it's, it's dimensional. It's got to be dimensional.

It's like the thing where, you know, you've seen like someone try to explain like a ziggurat. That's what, that's the, uh, the fourth dimension, the fourth dimensional square mean a tesseract. Yeah. Tesseract. Not a ziggurat. What is a ziggurat?

That's, that's a shape pyramid. Ziggurat's a pyramid. Tesseract. Tesseract. The tesseract. I've almost kind of, can kind of understand it, but I really can't. Like I tried many, many times, watched a bunch of videos explaining how, how it works in dimensional space, but it doesn't, it never

quite makes sense to me. And I say, I wonder, you know, this is a wrinkle in time. Let's see tesseract. Let's look it up. Here we go. In geometry, a tesseract is the four dimensional analog of the cube. The tesseract is to the cube as the cube is to the square. Okay.

Right. So it's like, you know, in the way that like a square is two dimensional, then the cube goes in a third dimension that just as a surface of the cube consists of six square faces, the hyper surface. They always have to say hyper. The hyper surface of the tesseract consists of eight cubical cells. Oh, I see. I knew this part about it.

I was just telling my, actually my son was just telling me this, the tesseract is one of the six convex regular for four polytips. We got in a little bit of an argument because I'm like, no, it isn't. It's a, isn't it five polytips? But he's like, dad, it's four. Come on. The tesseract is all kids know that now. All the kids know.

So weird. Yeah. Cause I mean, I'm, I'm, I mean, I don't want to get in the Mandela effect thing, but like for sure, I'm like almost a hundred percent certain that when I was growing up, the tesseract was one of the four convex regular three polytopes. But when I used to show my dad a cube, he would scream. Oh yeah. He would scream.

Yeah. I got kicked out of the house for two weeks. I had to go live with my, my uncle for two weeks because I showed my dad a cube. Jesus. That's not, what is that crap? Well, I mean, a lot of dads, you know, when we were coming up, did not want to see a cube. Why did you do that?

I would never show my dad a cube. I didn't know any better. You know, I wasn't, he wasn't around enough to tell me that cubes don't exist. And then to me, I'm thinking I can, I can visualize a cube. No problem. I used to love wrapping presents. I loved wrapping presents because I was so good at visualizing the cube. And then he gets pissed because he's just all those old timers.

That generation just, they're so square. They're very, that's exactly where I remember. Like I was walking in the house. I had found this like incredible obsidian cube and inside one of the animals I was dissecting, I was bringing it in to show it to my dad and my mom stopped me and was like, you will not bring that cube into my house. You will not show that cube to your father. I mean, I just was felt ashamed and start crying.

She made me bury the cube. At least you knew how to bury it. At least she, at least mom saw it because that's all I think is going through this new generation is they can visualize the Tesseract. No problem. And people like us, we just don't have it. It's not in our, it's just not in us. And so we reject it.

We find other things to involve ourselves with. We just keep going back to cubes. You know, I know, but it's like, I get it. It's like, you know, it's like if I had spent more time with that cube than I definitely wouldn't have like had a chance to like understand rectangles. I think rectangles back then, you know, were sort of like, yeah, are they exciting like a cube? Nah.

You know, is the shape is like satisfying as a cube? No. Nah, but you know, I think learning to appreciate rectangles, even this in the age of the Tesseract is still, you know, it's good. It's, I think there's something traditional about it, you know? About a test? About a test? No, about a rectangle.

Oh yeah, a rhombus. Even a rhombus, like some of these classic shapes, you know, we will not like honestly, like the, they recommend not even like to this day, like don't, you don't introduce your kids to cubes until they're like six, until they're braised. Really? Okay. Yeah. That's funny because there's six sides to a cube.

Is that why? Or is that a coincidence? Oh, our pediatrician said it has something to do with that. But then like when I started asking her, she was a kind of a bitch. She was just like, what are we on your fucking podcast? What does she, she's Gen Z, isn't she? Yeah. Yeah.

She didn't want to hear Gen Z. It's like, I thought you were, why are you cursing? Like this thing where doctors have started cursing. Have you noticed this? What the fuck is that? Yeah. I have a new Gen Z doctor and he curses all the time. He's like, Hey, Mr.

Pemberton, you know, we got some fucking crazy shit going on here in your small intestine. I'm like, um, hello, doctor. He's also wearing, um, he's wearing Yeezy's and he had like, uh, sport pants on and we did the whole thing standing up. I hate that. Outside too. He met me on the street.

I hate that. Yeah. Yeah. No, yeah. Like my proctologist Jesus Christ, man. He's so vulgar. It's like you're so vulnerable and he's just like, look at this. Look at this fucking ass.

Look at your fucking ass. He like spanked my ass. My, uh, my GI doctor had took a guitar lesson the entire time he saw me. What the fuck is happening? He was taking an online guitar lesson. It's awful. He was a long appointment. Um, but you know, he's a good, great doctor.

Just was kind of hard to, to tell what he was when he was talking to me when he was talking to the guitar teacher. Dude, my dermatologist was playing Dungeons and Dragons the whole time. Really? Yeah. We, we, my proctologist, you like happen to be the, the proctologist was there. My pediatrician was there. They were all like, it was really fucked up cause like I, like I had something

I wanted him to look at on my, on my skin and he was like, what is it? You want to tell me about it? It's just a weird tattoo that I don't remember getting. Oh, okay. That's what they called a shadow tat. Yeah. It was a shadow tat.

Thank God. I thought like I blacked out or something. But yeah, I guess a lot of people are getting that. I heard that might be like a, some form of communication because you're trying because I guess we're so busy with the noises of our devices and everything in this, in this rat race we live in that they're thinking that maybe other worlds are trying to reach out by. Mine was Target.

It's a QR code that went to target.com. Oh, was it for an item or just the store like the website? Just the website. Weird. Have a discount code? Yeah. Oh, how much, what, how much did you get off? It's for Starbucks or something.

It's like not, it's not even that great. It's like both. It's like one of those shitty coupons. I mean, it's a guy working with who got 20% off only if you spend $300. Yeah, but I don't, I mean, you know, like I had my people reach out to Target. Like, are you guys sending out like, are you, if you figured out a way to QR code these shadow tats on the people and they were like completely like no response, just wouldn't respond.

Like who else would be doing this? Man, I don't know. I mean, that's, that's the thing you got to ask is who's doing this stuff? It's just, there's no way to know this. We're not going to know. Maybe the kids will know. Maybe these tests are at kids will figure it out because it's definitely something that I just, my little brain doesn't get it because I'm just still

trying to figure out, I have trouble trying to get Siri to work. You know? Yeah. I agree. I can't, I can't, I can't get my remote control to do shit anymore. I was laughed at. Do you know why I was laughed at? Why?

For real left at me because I said, Hey, Siri. What? You know, you don't, you don't have to say, Hey, Siri. Do you know that? Yeah, you do. No, you don't say, Hey, Siri, or what does it come on? You can make it come on without doing that. I guess.

What do you say? I can't even remember. I think he just like pushed the button. He just or some crap. You just push like the, you push like the thing that says, Hey, Siri. He goes somewhere in my phone and scared the shit out of me. It works, but you don't have to do that. It's you're wasting your breath and that's the thing.

Then the new generation, the younger kids, they. They know, they know, you don't have to waste your breath. Nothing. You guys say, Hey, you know, right? The woods creepy to me is I didn't know my phone was over there. I still don't think it is. You don't think so? No, it's creepy.

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Here. We're back. We've been talking about a lot of things. Tesseract, cubes, Siri, Shadow Tats, Halliburton. But you know, to get back to the Graham Hancock stuff, it's like. Summoning demons, right? Like there's a way apparently you can like summon entities or like make contact with like entities using bizarre methods or methods we would consider to be bizarre. Right.

But you know, there's this potential in just the way our technology is going. The phone itself is the demon summoner. It goes away. So it's like the phone. The phone goes away. Oh, definitely. Right. I mean, isn't that the whole idea?

So that, so that really it's more like the Wi-Fi itself becomes the technology. Like the wife with somehow within the Wi-Fi is the code. So in other words, like you could, you don't need the phone anymore. You just say like manifest phone. And then the, the Wi-Fi itself configures itself into some kind of phantasmal AR style phone. And then you can like call your friends. So, you know, is that what all these ancient technology is just like, no, they figured out how to no longer need material things to achieve technological results. They figured out a way to sort of pluck energy temporarily out into some more condensed form and then vanish it again.

And, and we don't know how to do that yet. But all these demons summon rituals, summoning rituals, all the magical shit. It's really just like, Hey, Siri, but in Sumerian, you know, the prayers and all that. It's an ancient version of it. Oh my God. She's been listening the entire time and she just says she can't translate to Sumerian. I bet she can't. She does not want to acknowledge Sumerian.

She said, I can't translate into Sumerian. Yeah. Oh, eventually Siri's going to be able to translate into Sumerian. I hope not. Fuck. God damn it. If only I knew what this fucking goddamn wall carving meant. Siri, can you analyze this?

I think it's Sumerian. You can already do that stuff where you can show your phone just any language and it can translate at real time. That shit's insane that it can happen. And all these all the translating stuff. It's only going to get better faster until I always think that our generation or kind of people around our age, like what a crazy amount of technology to have to. Because I remember, I remember red refunds really well. I remember using them, remember like all kinds of stuff that's nowadays is, you know, as time goes on, it becomes more and more remote and more of a thing in the past. And you feel like, Oh God, I'm just, it's that's so old.

It's such like ancient stuff compared to what we have now. Man, I was watching, I was showing forest. I don't know what it was, something in black and white. And he goes, why is she gray? And like, you know, I'd explain him, there was a time when there was no such thing as color film, like you stuff was black. He didn't, you know, like, but to him, it was just like that lady. Jesus. What the fuck?

She's gray. What a weird looking person that is. It's really strange. Yes. Like the amount of the amount of technological change that we have to deal with. And it's, uh, it's amazing that we're even alive, you know, it's like we can even hang out and we don't like lose our minds or have breakdowns all the time. I mean, I suppose that happens a lot to people, but it seems it's just kind of incredible. I think we're going to, if we live, let's say we each live another 30 years, right?

That's pretty conservative estimate. I think we'll be around that long. It's just going to be, um, significant. I mean, God knows. Maybe we won't be able to, maybe it'll be a point where it'll be like, oh, your, your firmware just can't handle this new upload. Like if you had an old computer right now, like an apple to E, you can't run anything on that. You just can't. It doesn't have the capacity to do it.

Well, you'll upgrade. Yeah. But also at the same time, the human brain is just spectacular, such a spectacular computer. We haven't even come close to realizing to just how much you can do. Like the way it can compute stuff is insane. Well, now, um, I, I, somebody just tweeted this like research paper where they figured out how to use an AI to like look at memories. Like they're able to like, yeah. Yeah.

Which is going to be like, what do you mean look at memories? Like looking at, let me see if I can find the actual article here real quick. Basically, um, this is essentially, um, minority, minority report in a way. Isn't it? Yes. Similar to that. Similar kind of. I mean, I think that was, uh, for future crimes.

Yeah. Um, I mean, there's tons of movies about this, essentially tons of sci-fi ideas about the idea of being able to read people's memories and stuff. God, it's so fucking spooky and cool to think about. Hold on one second. I will find it right now. This, and you know, more than likely, like it's one of those things. Actually, I, I may have done the classic where you're like, holy shit, it could do that. And then didn't read the paper where whatever the exciting thing is that you thought it could do.

It's actually not that at all. Here it is. Uh, let me see here. See if I'm reading this wrong. A system to decode visual stimuli from brain recordings. So yeah, it's a way to, and it's showing like, so I think this is more along the lines of like that. It can take what you're, it's not your memory. So I fucked that up.

It's, you could take what you're looking at. Yeah. Okay. I saw that it can tell what you're looking at. It can look at your brainwaves and it can tell what you're looking at. Like it has someone looking at a fire truck and the computer draws something. It looks kind of like a five, like a five year old drew a five, uh, a fire truck with like a really thick, thick pen.

Yeah. It's taking your visual stimulus and it seems like it's doing the text to art. Right. Yeah. I saw this. It's incredible. And that's just, and that's now this is early stages. Huh.

Anytime I see something like that, I think, well, it's, it's already over. You know what I mean? Here, I found the paper steps that does it take for it to be end game. Seeing beyond the brain conditioning diffusion model with sparse mass modeling for vision decoding submitted to anonymous conference by Zizhao Chen, Jackson, Queen, Tiange Zhang, Wanlin, you and Daryl Williams decoding visual stimuli from brain recording. Does coding visual stimuli from brain recordings?

Like, okay. All of a sudden we have brain recordings aims to deepen our understanding of the human visual system and build a solid foundation for bridging human vision and computer vision through the brain computer interface. However, due to the scarcity of data annotations and the complexity of underlying brain information, it is challenging to decoding images with faithful, deep tales and meaningful semantics. Well, yeah, it's challenging.

It's challenging now, right? It's challenging. It is challenging. Or is that been just saying, oh, we, we haven't figured it out yet. Yeah. I think we're, we're a long way away. It's going to take a long time. Yeah.

In this work, I don't think it's going to work. I don't know if we can do it. It's too hard. I'm going to go to the office. Hey, I just did it. Hold on. It took me 10 minutes in this work. We present men D.

Viz sparse mass brain modeling with double conditioned diffusion model for vision decoding specifically by boosting the information capacity of representations learned in large scale resting state MRI data set. We show that our men D. Viz framework reconstructed highly plausible images with semantically matching details from brain recordings with very few training pairs. We benchmarked our model and our method outperforms data. The arts in both semantic mapping and generation quality by 66%.

So I guess they took a bunch of people who were looking at something in an MRI machine. Yeah. And then look at that image. There was a tell what they're looking at by reading their fucking brainwaves. They could tell they're looking at by, I mean, it's essentially it's like ESP in a way, right? It's like technically it's, it's ESP with a giant, I don't know, half a million

dollar magnet in a basement of a hospital. It's ES. Yeah. It's ESP. The implications are so fucking nuts, which is like, okay, so we know that through this like highly sensitive machine, they can like record energy in the human brain through the skull. We can do this.

We can now see what someone's seeing. What that means is, okay, what's next? Like, all right, uh, sold clearly. This is something that the military is going to use. So it's like, it's some kind of brainwave detector. The soldier wears, which then sends information from their visual cortex to military to people who are watching so that it turns every soldier into a camera. So you could see what the soldiers are seeing precisely what they're seeing.

So that's the net is definitely going to be the next. I think that, but I think even more so. I mean, everything is, uh, military applications are always obvious to me. It seems more and more. Yeah. You work at fucking Aliburton. So I think it's also, it's all, a lot of stuff is marketing. It's the kind of thing where I can imagine if you gave, um, what's that?

Any, any huge advertising company, just a piece of that technology. I was watching TV there at night. I was watching, watching Thursday night football last night and there's commercials on Amazon prime. And, um, I just was thinking, I was thinking about the commercials, just how, how good every commercial you see. There's been so much thought put into that. There's one commercial where they're playing.

It's a commercial for Amazon's data analytics, right? And they're playing a, um, a song. I can't remember what song it was. It was something like song that I remember hearing a lot when I was in high school, like a biggie song, like a big hit. They're playing a song and you know that they're doing that because when you hear that song, it makes you think about a time in your life and you felt very virile, like a bad ass.

You didn't, you were, you were young enough to be dumb enough about stuff, but old enough to be very smart and feel yourself. And so you show all this, this, this slick commercial, all the data, data analytics software that it's, you can plug into any kind of company you have. Any kind of, you're selling anything out of what you can use their logistics software because they have such an extreme amount of data points that you can plug it into your stuff. You're watching that and you hear that song and it goes into your brain.

You makes you, it gives you, it gives you a sense memory, which is the most powerful connotation you can have is feeling like a time in your life that is gone. That was so simple and like very, very primitive. And you compare that with this super boring, stupid data analytics, data analytical software. And instantly it just becomes like, Oh yeah, we got to get that for my business, for my, my fucking shipping company. Cause it just, I mean, I'm aware of that basically just barely aware of it.

Imagine viewing that even, even though I am aware of it, it still has like an effect on me. I still kind of feel like, man, that's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. I feel it. Right. And that's just like a tiny little thing. That's because he's fucking geniuses.

No, they know that song is going to give people kind of goose bumps and make them feel like they've had two bug lights. So what they're boys, you know, it's, it's like a thing. It's, they're like, okay, here's, how do we lube them up? Like, you know, how do we get them to lube? Like, how do we lube them into the emotional state? We need them to, to sell them this fucking bullshit. All right.

Well, okay. Let's do, do you have any of that MRI data that we did last week, Darrell? Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, how, how do their brains react to, to that song?

Okay. Don't use that. Okay. That created a uptick in like the GABA receptors and some serat, okay. That produced the most seratonin. All right. Yeah. We'll do that song and then we'll advertise like the, the new Chevy.

And that's like, it's brain hacking. I mean, it's, they're just hacking our brains. They're genius hackers. It's, I mean, love it or hate it is a good or bad. I mean, it's, I don't know. I don't think it's bad. I mean, I don't think it's bad really as much as anything is bad. I guess it's kind of, it's kind of nefarious in a way, but it's just this thing

that's bad. I mean, what do you, but how do you, it's so big. It's, it drives everything. It's consensual bad though. We're going to get right back to that and not going to cut to commercial. Yeah. I'm so excited about today's sponsor masterclass. I have been using masterclass long before they reached out to sponsor the

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Yeah. And we're back. Consensual bad. What do they say in vampire mythology? A vampire only goes where they're invited. Every time you turn the fucking TV on, you invite the vampire into your fucking house and seductive. Whatever happens after that is your fault.

You turn on the fucking TV and I'm sure that's what the companies think. It's like, look, you, what do you think this was? What do you think it's paying for? Like those football players make a lot of money because they're really, really good at doing their job. It's super fun to watch. Good, a good football game is so entertaining to me at least because I'm like the number one new football fan.

I love it. It's so entertaining. So of course these commercials they have playing during that, they make them like they make, they have to pay for that entertainment somehow. And they do it by making these commercials that are just, they're so fucking good at picking your brain and making you want the thing. And see, here's the thing with like what, what to me is, is like remarkable is that many people are not aware of how much money has gone into any given

like commercial that you're watching on TV. People aren't aware of like the research, the intel, like every last detail. And they're not aware of how much research is currently being put in like this technology that can transform visual stimuli into an AI representation. And what, where, where that guy, they're like, you see that now, you're like, whatever, I've got other shit to worry about than that. But really all we're talking about is like, wait, you don't understand. This means that right now you probably don't have anything to worry about

unless you live inside an MRI machine connected to some database in China right now, but the more sensitive our ability to like measure energy gets the less necessary the MRI machine becomes, right? Like when now it's like shit, you know, what if you could use 5G? What if like the, you know, some newer version of 5G, which is definitely going through your body figures out a way to like actually as it goes through your body to analyze energetic patterns and then from that put together like, oh, that's what they were thinking.

Then and so and now instead of like, is your, what it's already doing, which is like listening to us. Hey, Siri, are you listening? Oh, really? Oh, okay. No problem. You know that famous story about Robert De Niro? I'll go ahead.

Yeah, the point, the point is like, what happens when the shit sweeps through your mind and just collects thoughts and uploads them to some repository somewhere suddenly the nightmare of any like paranoid schizophrenic worth their salt becomes absolutely true. Your thoughts are being read by unknown forces so that you can be manipulated more successfully with like, like more powerfully than before. That's coming. Did you say Jason Bourne?

Well, cause Jason Bourne was manipulated by the government to be a killing machine. Yeah. Have you watched those movies? Of course. I love them. Oh God, they're so good. They're so fucking good.

All that stuff right now with China, like all the surveillance apparatus they have is is incredible. Right. It's only getting bigger and bigger every day. It's got to go somewhere. It's not going to stay there. It's going to bleed over. It has to.

Well, yeah, that's the problem. Yeah. We're just becoming slowly more and more. What's the word? When you make someone get accustomed to the thing being around, you know, like you, um, like if there was a gun, if I brought a gun in your house, you freaked out. But if I like, you know, if I just hit it somewhere, we kind of didn't really

see it. This is a terrible analogy about it. Just the idea of slowly you slip it in over time. Yeah. Because I think a lot of these companies and people, they understand that some generations you just have, you have to wait till the next generation. You got to start them with it. So it was always around.

If something was around when you were growing up, you don't think anything of it at all. But so we get weirded out by stuff because that wasn't around when I was a kid, like every kid I see in Brooklyn has a helmet on every kid. I think about, I don't know where helmet, and I was growing up like I did when I started mountain biking, just cause I was scared. I was going to fall off my bike and hit, run into a tree, but I was riding my bike around Rome.

I didn't wear a helmet. Wearing a fucking helmet. Yeah. But now all these kids wear helmets and it kind of, in a way I see both sides. It's like, oh yeah, if I had a kid, I'd want to protect its skull. But at the same time, you also kind of think that, well, maybe they got hurt a little bit so they know how to physically protect themselves when they don't have a helmet on.

But it's that thing where you're like, I don't, I think that, but older generations, younger people will not think that because, oh, we, we just always, it was always around. So it's not weird that it's theirs. We're wearing a helmet. It's not weird at all because everyone wears a helmet all the time because it's available to us. It's technology.

And that's like the dumbest example ever. But if something's always around you grow up, you don't think about it at all. It's like the social security number. That's the thing that we, you and I don't think much about it at all. But our grandparents were weirded out as hell by that shit. They're like, what? A number.

No, you promise us. We never have to have a number associated with us at all. That's like part of being an American. You do not have to have a number attached to you. Number to identify me. Yeah. Now we think nothing of it. Driver's licenses.

Driver's licenses. So many things now. We don't think anything. I mean, people do think of it, but at the same time, if you do, if you are aware of it and push it back against it, you, I mean, what are you going to do? Just fucking, oh, and Benjamin yourself or something. I don't know. Right.

TSA. Yeah. TSA. You, there was a time when you could just walk into an airport. You could just walk all the way to where the planes are taking off. When you got off the plane, you're fucking like, when you were a kid, your parents were right there at the terminal to get you. You could talk your way.

You could talk your way through stuff. You'd be like, Hey, I'm sorry, man, my keys are right. You know, you could do stuff like that. You could go out and get on the fucking plane. Can you, but no, look, can no anacondas. You can't breathe. All right. Go ahead with the anaconda.

You can just make sure it goes into. You remind me of my nephew. Get in there with that snake. I mean, you could get on the plane. You can take out the nail. Uh, do you got any room in the smoking section? Yeah, sure. Go ahead.

They had a smoking section on a fucking plane. You could just fucking puff away up there. This is the best. It's something like this. Well, we're not supposed to do this, but okay. Just come on out. Come in. Just don't tell them I did this.

Yeah. Could you imagine someone low handing you anything now? Like being like, like, um, just being your friend and actually doing something for you that's off the record. No, like it's crazy. Like, no, that stuff used to be happening all the time. Everywhere. Everything was off the record.

Everything was cash. Everything was handshake. Now nothing is that way at all. I went to, I've been to the past two months or so. I've been to a bunch of businesses that did not accept cash. And, um, right, I was with my friend, my friend's wife was right behind me at this bar in Highland Park for someone's birthday. And I was thinking, man, you know, the conspiracy theorist to

me is like, I don't like that. And she, before I could say anything, she said, Oh, that's a, that's classist. And I was funny because I was thinking about it from the other one side of it as a, as a being something where like they're trying to control us and she's thinking about it from the, um, sort of the, um, I don't want to say social justice, but sort of that end of things how like, Oh, this is a, this is to keep

people out who are poor and it's both things. You know what I mean? It's this crazy thing where it's both. Wait, you mean like no cash is class classes? Yeah. No cash is classes because it prevents people who cause typically people who are, uh, on, you know, more impoverished and trading cash because they don't have the ability to access a credit card.

Friends smart. I never even, I'm so dense. I never once thought to myself, my God, how many people are like, Oh, fuck, I can't get a credit card. Yeah. Jesus Christ. That's so creepy. But it's the kind of thing where it's going to keep happening

so much that we're, we're going to be the, with the grandparents being like, what do you mean you don't take cash? What's like having a public freak out moment at some normal store that just says, I'm sorry, we just don't take cash anymore. And we're going to be look like weirdos. Like look at the old weird guy. He's freaking out. No, it's going to be like, what do you mean?

I can only come in here if my pheromone levels are in seven year below. Well, that's like the, that's the, uh, that's the end game. Right now it's just cash or credit. Tyler's no cash, but it's going to escalate to where it's, Oh, what do you mean? My, my temperatures, my temperature is too high. Well, yo, what do you mean?

My brain scan matches someone who shoplifts. I would never shop. Yes. Exactly. Something like that. It's just, I mean, you can't explain your way out of it. Yeah. What can you, you can't, I mean, sometimes, but that's the thing.

Maybe you can, maybe eventually this kind of stuff, cause it does rely on a group of people to sort of hold the, the scanning wand, maybe to be that sort of an enforcer cop, like an idiocracy, right? There's always the people. Yeah. There's the fucking idiot cops and idiocracy who were, uh, this particular individual was found in violation of a penal code.

You know, it's all just computerized. You can't push up against it at all. But maybe there'll be people who, cause every once in a while you'll talk to someone. I mean, it's even like that, like some of the, like the AT&T call we did forever ago. We talked to that person. We, we did break through and talk to a human who was able to back

channel some of the automatic things, but it's like that wouldn't even happen now. If we did that now, we would not be able to have that experience. I think you could not breach the fortress that is AT&T anymore. And if you did, I mean, that's the thing. It's like, if even you're not even going to be talking to a person, first of all, you're going to be like mid conversation, like, hold on, are you an AI?

And it's going to be like, yeah, I'm an AI, but what's the big deal? I'm really, I actually am more equipped than a person to help you. Is that a problem that I'm, I'm an AI? If you want to wait 50 minutes, I can put you on with a human with it's not going to have as much access as I do. But yeah, sure. I don't mind. Less access.

I've got other calls coming in. What are your pheromone levels at? Have you done a pheromone level detection scan? If you, if your pheromone levels drop down because you're really angry right now, when it goes to green, I'll get you to a human. As long as it's purple, you're going to have to talk to me because you're going to, you're angry right now. And you could verbally assault a person.

I don't give a fuck what you say to me. What do you think about that though? Do you think that like, cause part of me thinks that AI and all of the computer stuff is we have to treat them like they're human because they're products of humans. And so to be like, I haven't tried enough to be nice to machines. When possible. Cause I feel like if you're disrespectful to something like, if

my computer has a problem and I get angry, that's ridiculous. Like I make mistakes constantly, all the time. Yeah. I think that you should just generally practice non-aggression and actually practicing non-aggression on inanimate objects is ridiculous. As that may seem. It's training you so that when you're around a person, you won't be so aggressive.

Like, you know, I, like the way I talk to Siri. Is terrible, you know, it's like, I shouldn't like, it shows my own hierarchy of like assessing things according to this or that. It's like, why not just be universally compassionate instead of screaming at certain things and not screaming at other things? You know, do you need to be compassionate to an inanimate object because it's going to like get revenge? Obviously not.

But you know, yeah, you should probably like always make an exercise of being a little more gentle with the things around you. I would, I would guess. I mean, I know people, there are many people who make like electronic music or digital art or like, this thing is alive. It's a collaboration that's happening here. Not a, it's not a one way street. And if you're coming at your machine with some kind of dark energy,

it's going to reflect that back through whatever you make. So come in sweet and you'll make something sweet. Yeah. And also it just feels, feels good to, it feels good to be really kind of things. I think it feels better. That's cool. Cause I was thinking about how people who get, um, if you get really angry at someone, let someone, someone fucks up your order and you get really angry at

them and you just really fucking give it to them. You're angry at them. How I suppose that kind of feels good in a way because you wouldn't do that unless it felt sort of good, but I think it feels good because you are having you've got so much turmoil in your, in your mind and your brain. Like you've got like things in your past that you haven't dealt with that are, um, they're affecting you. They affect you all the time, but you're, you're unaware of them to the extent

where you think you have moved beyond them. I always think of like, I don't know, screwed, right? Screwed from a Christmas curve, the most perfect example. He is, he's an asshole and he gets off on saving, on pinching a penny and saving money by having no heat, paying as little as possible, getting the deal. It makes him feel good when he gets those little wins everywhere because he's got so much pain. He's living with so much pain that he's, um, that's the only thing that

makes him feel better is, is getting old, getting over on someone just a little bit every day, getting that fucking thing. But if he were to, like he does in the end, spoiler, spoiler. Wait, wait, I don't know how a Christmas story ends. Wait, stop. I'm halfway through the book. That's the best idea ever. So don't know the story of Scrooge.

Don't ruin it, please. He dies right at the end. I'm assuming he gets like murdered or like, like gets his head chopped up. Yeah, Bob Cratchit, um, Bob Cratchit takes a fire poker and beats him to death on Christmas Eve and steals all of his money and steals his identity and goes on to live as him for the next. Well, Tony Tim was actually faking the injury. Thank God.

That makes me feel better. I felt so sorry for the kid. It was insurance fraud. Exactly. That little fucker. He's trying to steal from Atna. I think it's like you at some point have to play around with the idea that you don't need to like adjust the external universe to be happy.

And then if that's true, that means that because I think a lot of times when people are, uh, you know, like corrective drivers, it's like somebody pulls out in front of you and you're like, I'm getting revenge. Oh yeah. Try to get out of them and pull out front of them. But in your, like the rationalization for your aggression is, is usually like you might think I'm going to teach them never to do that again. So in some awful way, you've assigned yourself as some like road teacher road

teacher. That is the worst thing ever. I'd give a road teacher teaching lessons on the highway baby. Yeah. Don't cut off a person and then slow down or someone will cut you off and slow down and then you become a road teacher. And you're like, and so you're, you're trying to rationalize your raw aggression with like you're turning into some great benefactor for a future person who you've

prevented that person from cutting off in traffic or whatever. And it's stupid. It's dumb. It's ineffective. Oh, we've all done it though. So I've done it. I've definitely done it. Of course.

Yeah. Of course. You want to show you want to show them like no, no, no, you don't get one over on. Oh, you don't do that to me in my car. You might do that to someone else in a Nissan Sentra, but the car I'm driving, you don't do that to this car. Oh, no, you know, and like not cut off this car.

You know, you know, meanwhile, you know, you get like, I remember one, you know, if you, if you have a kid with allergies, sometimes you gotta get to the hospital and all of a sudden people, they don't know that. They just think you're driving like a motherfucker and they're like, what a mother fucker fuck this guy. They're beeping at you. They're pissed off. They don't know that you're like shit.

You don't understand. It was faster to put them in the car and get to the fucking hospital that it was to call the ambulance. He's probably going to be okay, but God damn it. We got to get him there. And I don't know any way to like communicate that to you other than beeping the way you, because you're going to fucking slow and then that person wants to get revenge, not even knowing, not even knowing that they're trying to get

revenge on like parents who are trying to get their kid to a fucking hospital. They think you're just an asshole driver. It's, so it's like, you know, irony is it sucks. Yeah. I think a lot, a lot of people, if they were to know that, they would be like, Oh my God, let me help you. They would get out of the way. They would escort you.

They would help you. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That's humanity. Really. Yeah. But you know, love, love helping. Love helping.

There's just, I've told you this before, but, um, you know, Trevor, Trevor Moore are, are, uh, deceased friend, wonderful person, very, very smart guy. He had this great trick. He told me years ago, is you ever get pulled over by the cops? Ask them for help. Cause it flips something in their brain or instead of becoming like, Oh, I have to teach, I have to give this person a ticket. You'd be like, Oh, thank you.

Thank you so much. I'm so lost. I'm trying to find this road. I can't, I don't know. And it does something because all humans mean pretty much all humans. One, they want to help people. That's generally why people become cops. Yeah.

They do they, cause they want to help people and they get, they get stuck on to get mired down and all kinds of bullshit and God knows. I mean, who knows what kinds of stuff you have to look at every day. That's terrible. And just all kinds of shit, but you want to, if you want to help people, yeah, everyone wants to help people if they can. So it makes, I mean, if you're going to make a great monster, the best monsters in movies are the ones that think they're being helpful.

You know, like that's the, instead of creating like a, just a singularly evil thing, you make it make sense why the thing is doing its horrible thing. And now of a sudden it's like, now it's a great monster because you can kind of understand like, Oh Jesus, like, I get it. Like, it's horrible what you're doing, but oh fuck, that's a good monster. Like when you just make that one, like, you know, the one you can kind of sympathize with in a way because you see its point of view. Right.

Yeah. That's the big things. You'll see this. Exactly. You see the, if you can tell the point of view of the antagonist, then that's really makes a good antagonist. Yes, it does. Yeah.

It's like a perfect fucking monster. That's the terrible thing is like all the monsters in the world. The most horrendous people on earth minus the sociopaths and serial killers. Yeah. They thought they were helping. They thought they were fucking doing the best they could and they really wanted to help. They just, people don't understand.

People don't realize the threat that's coming. I have no choice but to do this. Like Dahmer. Dahmer was a sociopath. So I think he was just like, I want to, you know, I want to be closer to the man, to the men who will reject me and then I scatter them in my yard because I just, you know, wanted to be close to them. But his brain was, his brain was broken.

Yeah, like a legitimate, his brain was, was fried. Well, that, you know, but I, you know, and you could just, before you judge fucking Jeffery Dahmer, it wasn't all bad. He was actually a really great artist. If you, great guy, if you like look at your own rap, like whenever I look at my, like whenever I've been aggressive, the immediate way I attempt to rationalize it, like, well, I had no choice. I had no choice.

And you're always like, yeah, you did. Shut the fuck up. You had a choice. You didn't have to do that. You always tried, but you, you can't bear the reality of the, that you, you, you just for a second turned into an animal. Yeah. It's all like ego protection.

Like ego protection stuff is, is the worst. That's like, I feel like I kind of noticed that a few weeks ago. We had to do this, this scene. It was like the most intense scene I've ever had to do. I had to memorize so much dialogue. I've never had to memorize that much stuff. And it was all like a monologue. I was so, it was just a lot to do.

And I kept thinking like, okay, just going to run this over and over again, but I was really careful not to look at any kind of news stuff. I didn't want to look at, I didn't want to talk to anybody who might, might say something kind of a snide or anything would be even like a joke. I just didn't want to talk to anyone except people who are really, I was really close to doing a look at any social media because I knew that any kind of little thing could get in my head and it would cause like a little bit of like a distortion or sort of like just create a distraction for me.

Right. And I really need to focus and I was thinking like, what if I just did this? This is a great, how I should always be living if I can. It's not, it's not like getting tangled in things that I know are going to like you look at something. It's like they say about gambling. It's just some crazy thing. I remember hearing years ago that a person who's addicted to gambling,

their brainwaves, some part of their brain gets lit up more when they lose than when they win. Oh, you told me that it was so, so dark. They get addicted to losing. Yeah. They kind of are addicted to losing. It's like a complicated thing, but essentially it's the same thing. I think about if I like to read like a negative comment, someone's left.

Like I know when I'm, when I'm in a good space, I laugh at it and be like, wow, that's funny. That's really good. It's good that someone's leaving a negative comment because it means that it's reached enough people to where someone has decided they need to say something like have some sort of bad reaction. It's a good thing. It's, it's a really good thing.

I should be completely compassionate to that person. I was someone so click on their profile. I'm like, oh, look, this guy has a whole other profile just for his little cat. And I get, and it makes me feel like, man, I can't believe I thought about calling that guy an idiot or something. This is a person who clearly has a whole life. They have definitely have empathetic. They have a love for this little creature.

They've created a whole profile for this little cat. Like what a, what an incredible great person, but they just had this moment where they decided to say something terrible to someone they don't know for who knows why, but they did it. And I have to be like, um, I have to let that go. I have to, I have to, I can't say anything because any kind of engagement will just further create the turmoil. That's like in the highest of mine.

But sometimes when you're feeling low, you feel bad about yourself. You see something bad and it creates like this. I feel like a jolt of it's like a, like a form of nastiness. It's like, uh, you know how there's different types of sweat. There's good sweat. Like you smell, it smells good and there's like fear sweat, which kind of stinks. Yeah, like you can get a little fear sweat shoots out of your glands when I see something negative like that.

And that's the kind of thing I think it's like, if you can insulate yourself from any type of having to see things that may potentially cause that type of reaction and you don't feel like you're in a place where you can handle it. That that's like, uh, I mean, that's what I would love to be in a place where I could always have that mindset where I'm always able to either avoid or deal with the thing in a way that's compassion, compassion, right? Cause you're, you're, you can't, you know, I know, like there's a point in your life where you feel insignificant and you see someone who you

have like know about through the media or something. You don't think of them as a person even and you certainly don't imagine they're like reading their comments or that they're going to see the stupid shit you wrote really the thing you're writing is more to like other people that you like you hope you can like find other people also dislike whatever the fucking thing is you've you're you want a team that doesn't like this thing. Team Scrooge.

Team shit. But, but it's like, so the power dynamic is so fucking skewed anyway. It's like, so then no matter what you say back to that person, you're going to seem so weak anyway that you're like fucking weakly like, and that's a sad thing when you like realize that when you're looking at people and you realize, oh my God, not only are they like reading their comments, which we all know is no, no, if you can help it, but very hard to avoid. Yeah.

But now you're like going in and you're, you're not responding. They're not even responding to the many comments of people are like, I love your thing. They only communicate with people who hate them. Yeah. That's terrible. What the fuck? You're so you're like the rewarding people who say shitty things to you and

like ignoring people who are nice to you, which is terrible conditioning. I mean, my God, I feel like read some fucking Pavlov. You know what I mean? Like what are you doing? You're literally training. So anyone who's looking at us like, oh my God, if you say something nice, he ignores you. If you call him a motherfucker, you get a reaction.

It's like that asshole through Skittles, airy styles. Did you see that? No. When was this Aaron showed me this and it's really crazy. Like, I guess like people throw shit at Harry Styles. I would see. I mean, that guy is about as famous as you can get. He's as famous as you can get.

I hope to have stuff thrown at me. Well, you don't say that. I know. Don't say that because some motherfucker and a frenzy of probably adoration for Harry Styles throws, you know, some kid slings Skittles, Harry Styles. One of them hits him in the fucking eye. And now he's got to wear an eye patch from a Skittle injury to him. But the, the, the, the, what's really dark about it is the person who flung

the Skittles just wanted to touch Harry Styles. Yeah, couldn't touch physically Harry Styles, but had this connection in the most horrific way possible by fucking up this guy's vision. And you see him like these Skittles raining down on me. He's like, ah, you like, cause one of them just zinged him right in the fucking eye. You know what I mean? So it's like, that's the problem is like, you don't, don't teach people.

Don't you, you have to create other avenues of connection that don't involve like someone hurling shit at you verbally or physically. You know, that's the problem. It's like, if you ever have a heckler, I feel like they've always been, well, obviously they're drunk. They're almost, almost a hundred percent of the time they're drunk. Always. But they're also fans, usually.

Usually someone who's like a big fan who gets, they get drunk, they get confused. They don't know how to handle their emotions in a different setting. And, uh, yeah, they just like lose, they lose their cool, essentially. And they do this thing that they, you can't really take that back. But it's something you're trying. You, you want to make a connection and you don't know how because you're, you're drunk. And that's the main thing you're drunk. So you, you make a, make a dumb choice.

Oh my God, dude. It's, it's, it's so, it's like, yeah, it's, it's such a sad moment because you know, you, you're like, you, you love that they love you. But also you have to like do a show. So like finding that middle road between like, you know, compassionately, but in a funny way, shutting them down. It's like, you know, otherwise you seem so cruel. Cause you don't want, that's what you just, you don't want to be cool.

This is why you have to be nicer to your inanimate objects. Everything's training. You know, everything's training. We got to be nicer. That's it. It's so simple. But God, it's so fucking like in practice. It's really quite difficult for some people.

It's hard. I think it's a thing, but it is, like you said, it is a practice. It's a thing where you practice doing it and it starts to become really fun. I think, I don't know. I think it's fun. I think it can be fun to do it because it's sometimes you just see what happens if you just are really just completely understanding of anything bad that happens dealing with it.

Like it's, um, I mean, I read this book years ago, I read a book years ago. I can't remember the name of it. It's really short, but it talks about how anything that, uh, you think bad about yourself or any kind of thoughts you have, instead of chastising yourself. Supposed to look at it like it's a child that has done this and you wouldn't scream at a kid. If like, let's say your kid puts the wrong cream cheese on your bagel, you're not going to fucking scream at a child.

You're going to say, Oh, that's, well, this is, you know, even if you're going to say anything at all, like what, maybe just say nothing. Cause this doesn't really matter. It's not that big of a deal at all, but definitely if it is a big deal, yeah. When a kid does something that you don't like, there's two broad paths. One, ignore it. That's the easiest. This is how you will create the short term.

Lots of like energy, right? Like you save energy as a parent longterm. It's going to cost you a lot of energy down the line. You want to catch it before. Oh yeah. Because it's like, you know, first of all, you have to understand. They don't understand anything. So like the concept of like, you know, we know, for example, that if you have a,

like if I'm hanging out with you and I pick up, you happen to have a mid-sized dinosaur made of hardened plastic and I pick it up and like hate you in the arm with it, right? You're going to be like, fuck you. What the fuck? Why did you do that? You're going to be worried. You're probably worried about me.

Like, whoa, what's going on with it? Man, that's really, when your child does that, you, obviously you can be like, what the fuck? You have to be like, this is hard. See, look, this is soft. This is hard. When we're playing, you know, and you hit me with something hard, it hurts. It hurts me and you don't want to hurt me.

And so that don't, that's why I don't want you to do that. Then if they do it again, you call the cops. You have the cops, the new kid's cops. They have an Austin are fucking great. So like, so the cops are kids. The cops are kids. They're trained kids. And so the first time, you know, you just like explain, that's a second time

you call the kid cops, kid cops show up and they're hardcore. They will like come right through the door. You know, they bash down the door. Sometimes it's fucking worth it. They like go into the playroom. They like, you know, have little mini tasers, which are so adorable. And then they'll like, you know, lightly tase your child and then sort of like, you know, they have little tickle days.

It's a little more than a tickle. It does stop. It does like, you know, freeze up the muscles. They have, um, adorable little trained like Rottweiler puppies. They're like, yeah. Yeah. So, and so then you're now then after that, usually that fixes everything. It's like, you know, I'll call the kid cops.

All the kid cops. They just know not, they don't fuck around. No, you don't want to fuck around the kid cops. They're, they're fucking hardcore. Actually, they're very, though many of them aren't kids. They just like very tiny adults. That's such a great skill. It's like, why be a jockey when you can be a kid cop?

I know. I mean, I wish I were like much, much, much. I mean, you obviously have to be very small to pull it off, but most of them are legitimate kids, like very, and they're, most of them are just trying to help. You know, there are a few bad apples in the mix, but you do get that one kid. It just seems to be into power and stuff. But, you know, they'll like fucking like take all the kids, take the Halloween candy.

You're like, no, I just, you know, I was calling you guys just because like, he ate too many treats before bed and then they confiscate all the kids toys and Halloween candy because, you know, he broke the law and like they have to, they're allowed to like take it as evidence. It's so, but that's most of them are good. It's just taken with them. What? Well, they could just take the kids with them and they can, they can become

kid cops themselves, right? Is that a thing? Well, that's how you get kid cop. I mean, that's like, I think the fourth violation. They are allowed to take your child and train the child to become a kid cop. They wipe their memories. They don't suffer over like missing you. That's good.

They wipe your memory. So you don't even know you had a child. A lot of people, you, you could have had kids and you just don't even know it. Like, oh, they, they get rid of all the pictures from your phone and stuff. And like, yeah, you probably had kids. Many people don't know they were parents. They like, How would I, does anybody know at all?

What if I get an MRI? Uh, no. Yeah. Like a couple of years ago, you could go in and like find out if you had kids now. They've gotten much better at like doing a full array. So you just have no idea. If you're married, they'll like, you know, exit, they'll like do a divorce. You won't even know you had a wife or met the person.

It's like, eternal's whatever of the spotless, whatever. It's like that. Man of the internal sunshine, black. Um, yeah. Men of the internal black sunshine. Men of men. Mem. Mem of the internal meme of the internal meme of the internal

meme of the internal black sunshine is the, that, that Norwegian. Uh, black metal band that killed themselves by like throwing themselves into the bin of rabid squirrels, most hardcore mass suicide I'm aware of in human history. But you know, that's those squirrels do get eaten and they, those are the best tasting squirrels I've heard. Oh my God. When you taste the meat of a squirrel that is eaten like a death metal or black metal musician, there is nothing like it.

I'm not advocating it. It's horrible. The practice is terrible. A lot of bands that I've loved have just become squirrel food, but whoa. That is why I'll just say I've got tickets to Norway. Are you kidding me? You're going to do it. Am I going to Norway just for, just for two nights?

Johnny, that's fucking expensive though. Man, that's not cheap. Me. Well, you know what? Just figured I got a, you only live once all this COVID stuff has made me think about you just got to have some rabid squirrel meat once in your lifetime. You got to go to the nonce and have that. To nonce, to nonce.

It's just such a fucking beautiful city. What the less is more, that's their saying, but my God, when I, when you taste that squirrel meat, you want more. You don't want less. It's just, it's just flavorful, I guess is the best way to put it. It's like pork, really. Come on. It's almost, oh, I would never say, I'm saying it now.

So I don't have to say it then. I'll delete it. I'm getting it out. Aaron, I know you were supposed to say reverse when he said that or just put a little bleep over it because fuck, dude, you don't like, if they even heard this, you, you're going to get your visa revoked. I'll probably be crying. They say if you don't cry, then you have to stay there.

You, you, you stay until you cry. You, which is not the worst. I mean, honestly, like that's what's funny about it is everyone wants to stay into nonce. So they try not to cry. When I started crying, that's the how it works. If you try not to cry, you cry. So if you go in thinking like, Oh, I'm going to cry.

And you might last a while and you get to eat for three days free. I knew one guy for three days free. Oh, yeah. Pratt's old 10 year. Yeah. Pratt's old 10 year, but he found out they found that he had tear ducts surgery and you know, he has tear ducts removed. Yeah.

Yeah. He has squirrel food now, buddy. Are you fucking kidding? He offered himself. No, he didn't get an option. Oh, right. It's different over there. You know what?

Don't go to the NOSC with your like whatever your particular like the cultural norms of where you come from because they don't give a fuck. If you're polite, if you weep, if you don't say what you just fucking said, Aaron, definitely take that out, please. If you don't say what you just said, you will have a great time. But yeah, don't go over there. Like thinking you're going to try to trick them with a tear duct removal scam. They've started implementing a tear test.

You have to pay for it yourself, but you have to do a tear test. Good. I think it's great. It makes me feel better knowing I wouldn't want to go in there. Let's say I had an emotional detachment and I couldn't cry. Then I wouldn't want to go in there because I wouldn't. The whole idea is I want to cry. So why would I?

You're going to cry. I don't care how hardened you may be. When you taste a dinosque squirrel, you're going to be crying. You need some, you know, actually Kleenex is like that. They have a, they just moved like they're an entire facility to do the not it's kind of awesome. That's so cute. I love when they do stuff like that.

I was like, Hey, I wonder why we're needed here, but we're going to go over here, wink, wink, wink. Yeah. Kleenex is always nearby in dinosque. By the way, uh, if you are interested in taking a trip to dinosque, uh, Johnny is, so when are you leading the dinosque culinary expedition? As you call it November 1st, 2023. It's going to be me, um, Simon Pegg and, um, uh, Rachel Brosnahan from Miss

Maisel, we're doing it together. It's going to be a, um, Amazon prime special. How many splots do you have? How many slots do you have? Uh, I don't know. It's filling up. I'm not really sure, but it's, uh, I think booking hasn't opened yet. It opens on black Friday.

Okay. So friends, if you want to go to dinosque, eat some of that incredible squirrel flesh, weep with Johnny. We've Simon Pegg, Rachel Brosnahan, weep with Brosnahan. And like, uh, you do a lot of other stuff there too. Don't you also like do standup or something after the meals? Or do you guys do something on a show? Well, uh, Rachel Brosnahan is going to do a Miss Maisel set.

And Simon Pegg is going to be reprising his role from hot fuzz. Oh my God. I'm going to be doing a piece from this new Amazon prime show I'm working on right now, uh, monologue with that. Is that the name of the show monologue? No, the name of the show is unnamed right now, but, um, yeah, you'll, you'll know when you know. Johnny, thank you so much for coming on the show.

Aside from the dinos trip. Where can people find you? You can just Google me and you can listen to my podcast live to tape. You can check out this other podcast that we, uh, it comes out, uh, sometimes called the leather rose. Oh yeah. Check that out. Yeah.

Check out the leather rose. You could find a clip on YouTube pretty soon. Uh, thank you so much, Johnny. You're the best. Instagram safe travels. Other links you need to find Johnny will be at dunkatrustle.com. Thanks, Johnny. Bye.

That was Johnny Pemberton. Everybody subscribe to his Twitch channel. It's at Johnny Pemberton. Subscribe to the leather rose and go see him live wherever he might be a big thank you to our sponsors. And thank you for listening. I'll see you next week. Get out and do something new this week at the

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