Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 572: Dan Harmon

Episode Date: July 9, 2023

Dan Harmon, Duncan's boss, greatest friend, and creator of Krapopolis, re-joins the DTFH! Check your local listings for Krapopolis, debuting later this year on Fox! Factor - Visit FactorMeals.com/Duncan50 for 50% Off your first order! Squarespace - Use offer code: DUNCAN to save 10% on your first site.

Greetings pals. It's me Duncan Trussell. I am recording this in the gym. I've been training some of my clients non-stop getting people ripped, greased, slick down, beard trims. I do that sometimes for my clients. Lots of things for my clients. Things that we can talk about if you reach out to me. They're right now just because of the sex negative world that we live in. I can't actually mention it online without breaking many, many laws. But to me, working out is more than just lifting those weights. It's more than just getting your yoga pants on.

It's a holistic experience of health. And when I work out, I'll tell you a story. Here's the deal. Once I had a great workout, not my best, pretty good. It was a leg day and I gassed out on my glutes and had to just stop. I was just a little bit of a gased out on my glutes and had to just stop. I was embarrassing. And I was headed towards the locker room, call it a day, at least I got to the gym, you know, telling myself all that stuff. When five of these incredibly healthy women, two very powerful men, they waved at me from, I guess, an office

space in the gym, you know, where they sign the contracts for the memberships. And I know it's weird the way they waved at me. There was a twinkle in their eye. And so, yeah, I got banged down hard after that workout. I didn't know them, they didn't know me. I think they saw that I was a little bum that my workout hadn't been spectacular, which is what I prefer, like a grade level workouts. And yeah, it was quick, wasn't really romantic.

It was like very healthy, very healthy and somewhat painful, but in a good way. I walked out of there when it took a shower, and for the rest of the day I felt great. Now, you know, just getting banged down at the gym by strangers is awesome, but I noticed something. The next day, my glutes had more definition than they should have. And I realized there's a direct connection between getting banged down after a workout by strangers and not just glute definition, but full body tone and complexion stuff. My skin was glowing. I had an extruded nipple before that happened to me.

One of my nipples, I don't know what had happened. I went to the doctor and he was just like, I can't help you and I honestly, please put your shirt back on. Because one of my nipples kind of like, I don't know how to put it other than it looked like. Like imagine if you rolled up a bunch of pepperonis into a tube and then use some kind of mallet to like bang out a sort of jagged shape, that's what one of my nipples

I woke up with it looked like. After this bang down, nipple had receded, nipples were symmetrical, definition of my abs, definition of my glutes. So with my new training service, not only are you gonna get top tier training from the YouTube videos that I will show you as you work out, but also, once a month, you won't know when it's gonna happen,

you will get a full service bang down, full service. You will get bang down, it will be fast. And I'll be there watching, I'll be there as your cheerleader, there's gonna be moments where you wanna like pull out or just, you know, that's enough, you're gonna feel like you can't take it,

but as a trainer, I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you push through those moments. In the next day, you're gonna wake up with better skin, more definition, and a feeling that you are living life again. That your life was on hold and that suddenly life, beautiful, perfect, glorious life, had come knocking at your door and you answered this time instead of telling it to get the fuck out of here. You can reach out to me via my socials. You'll have to go through a pretty intense screening process. And then if you are selected, you can look forward to being in the best shape of your life

within only a couple of years. Yeah, it's longer than what other trainers promise. But that's how you know I'm being real. I invite you this summer to take the dive into my new bang down big glutes definition day training program. Definition day for short, it is patent pending. training program. Definition day for short. It is patent pending. It can also go to definitionday.gov. Fill out a form there. You can write us. It's Arizona, sweet 599-495-799-59759-975-51519-719-519-719-519-3219- hyphen, 493 493 suite 22. I look forward to hearing from you

and I look forward to walking with you on your health journey. We have an incredible podcast for you today with one of my greatest friends. I love him so much. He's also my boss now because he is creating the show for Fox. I might call it Crap Poppilus. You've heard him before on the DTFH and no doubt other places.

Dan Harmon is here with us today. Let's welcome Dan Harmon back to the DTFH. It's the Dumpin' Trash, so the way I'm gonna sing it, so the way I'm gonna sing it, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so don't think about a negative part of that. And you're like, 1 you know what, you know what, you're my friend's boss. You're my boss. I answered to you.

You're like the top of the chain. You're my boss. I like it. Yeah, but, I mean, we work creatively. So I mean, I'm not really your boss because I can't like fire you.

You know, well, it's not like we're at a drug store or something. Right. Like I can, because I can't like fire you. You know, it's not like we're at a drug store or something. Right, like I can't, I can't, like even, yeah, you're, we're partners, because like I could, if we got pissed at each other, you'd have just as much a shot at getting me fired as anybody else and each other, you know, like we'd have to, we'd have to figure out, we'd have to have dirt on each other

and then like cancel each other. I couldn't just be- There's no way that I could possibly get you fired from, not that I would want that. That would be hell for everyone, but I don't think that that's true. I don't think like who would I, how would I even do that? How does that-

I'm trying to make it a better, I get, like, here's what I'm saying. I don't think there's been a shift in power dynamic. Oh, right. I mean, no, no, I don't think so. I still look up to you. I don't control whether you eat and I don't have, you're no more inclined to agree with me or anything.

Right. You're not gonna to like look the other way if I don't use a coaster at your apartment. You're still going to be the same hard ass about coasters that you've always been. Never going to change, man. Never going to change because it's a fucked up thing to do. And I know it's funny to bring it up now, but I don't want to get into the coaster thing.

It is weird when I have like so many coasters, beautiful coasters, coasters from all over the country, coasters from everywhere I've done stand up. And yeah, you'll just put your, like, there's more coasters on the table than table space. Yeah, I just got to go. Well, that's that's why I in my defense. That's why I always move them aside with the bottom of my glass to find a place to put

it down because I feel like I'm. They're so ornamental and they're so not to be not to judge, but they're so self-serving. Like you said, they have like a lot of promotion of your little cottage industry. He's got my ticket sales for me show. Yeah. He said they have like a lot of promotion of your little cottage industry. He's got my ticket sales for me show or yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think it's like, like, look, if you really want me to use a coaster,

you should, you should put like, Kadoffi's face on it or something. I can't, I would do that. I'll do that. I know a coaster guy. No problem. For the next time I see you, I will have a Kedoffee's face.

Coaster? Cause you know how far off I still am about Libya. Why were you so into Kedoffee? That was a question for deeper into the podcast. I want to put a drink on his face. How many times do I have to do this, Brent? I... No, I know, but it is weird.

No, it's obsessive. I mean, it is like, I mean, I don't know even that much about Libya or Kedoffee. I mean, it is like, I mean, I don't know even that much about Libya or Kadoffi. I just found out Libya was in Africa. But I don't know. And why would we, did you, are you asking us, am I such a, I thought you said, I thought you were extending

a bit and going, why were you so obsessed about, you said, why were we, why were we obsessed with it? No, I think, I think, no, I know. I, I, I was, I was, it was kind of No, I think I was a country. No, I know. I was kind of sent to, I was saying we like you to make you more comfortable with you. It was like, I don't want to do the intervention anymore. If you're in a Gaddafi, you're in a Gaddafi. If you hate Gaddafi, if you are still angry at a dead man.

I know. Well, it's like you tried to tell me back in the 70s when I first started really gunning for him. Yeah. When we were just what 25 and 17 respectively. Yeah. And that's the first time you said to me, you know, Dan the opposite of hate is not love. It's indifference. And I was like, who's this 17-year-old telling me how to feel about Kadafi in 1972? You know, I do not want to start shit on the podcast, but he was a good leader in a lot of ways. He kept the trains running on time, but... Yeah. Hashtag-sitler. I'll say it. I'll use it about everything. If you've ever been on a Libyan train now, have you tried to take a train in Libya recently?

Do you know what a nightmare it is now? Just to like get through the turnstile? No, that he's now that the Jim Henson of Libyan mass transit is dead. and mass transit is dead. It's fun. It's fun. Have I been on the reboot of, you know, like, Kudafi's daughter is running his trains? Not, you know, when they were, you know, when they were killing him, stabbing him,

did you know all those people, they were like three hours late getting home because the trains like immediately started fucking up Just as though they were connected to him or some metaphysical Instant karma, you know, I don't know man. I I think that one day You're just gonna turn a corner though. The already Krishna is they say that the, it doesn't matter if you love Krishna, or if you hate Krishna. If you have any connection to Krishna at all,

there's still a spiritual, holy component in it. And I feel like your hate for Gaddafi, it reminds me of that. Like it's always on the verge of flipping. I would say to those, I would say to those folks, that sounds like Krishna is saying, you know, they're using the, you're talking about them, defense, which I don't. I think you should.

Wait, you know, what is it? They say they say a free rent in your head, bro. Or something like that. Krishna's living prep free in your head, motherfucker. I mean, once you have to be that trollish about your God, maybe is a bad God. Well, you know, if you take it literally, like any of this stuff, you will take Krishna literally, that's the problem. You need to, you need to, he's being sincere, but not literally.

What was the thing? You take it all out. Well, I mean, like, I think that's the problem with these symbols. Like any of the metaphysical systems have within them a symbol set that on one level is the very least confusing, if not completely ridiculous. And then, but people get caught up in the physicality of that. And then, but when you drop it into like a deeper place, suddenly it becomes like the existence of the thing

as a living thing becomes irrelevant to like the existence of the thing is a living thing becomes irrelevant to like the just basic sort of parable aspect. The, you know, it's like a little healthy riddle for your mind to nond that will make you a little less of an asshole. That it's like the data set itself is what's mystical, not the right? Like so, you know, is there a blue skin coward boy living in a place called Vrindavan, Goloque of Vrindavan, where he eternally plays with the gopis, his friends

and like everything they're ascensioned? Like is that a place in space, time space? I don't know, but it would be great if it were. But the idea of how obsession, even in the negative, has within it a component of passion. I think that's interesting. It is living room free in your head. Look, I love it, man. I love your mind. I love throwing my spiritual stuff into your orbit and watching you swat it down. Just swat it like flat.

I was like, that's not my role. I was doing a bit. I'm more into Christian than you are. Ha ha ha. No, you know, and I think that to me, in this, probably, maybe this was the thing I was not knowing, I think that to me, in this, maybe this will sound like, I think that's what makes you mystical. I think there is a, you have a mystical talent

in like obliterating certain spiritual ideas that I have not applied that sort of thinking towards, in a way where it's like, you definitely have left me scrambling most of the time with this stuff. I'll just try to forget what you said. I'm a, but yeah, maybe, well, yeah, just, well, don't forget this. You're a Christian abuser and I am way more,

I've been way more into him or her, you're welcome for way longer. Like, like, who was your fate Krishna she probably Roger Moore because you're a fucking poster that was the worst Krishna now I'm old you're not Sean not you're not now where's your being you probably think you you probably never even read the original books you probably think that the thing that makes Krishna cool is all the gadgets.

That is 100% what makes Krishna cool. No, that is what makes... It's not the original Krishna didn't even get gadgets when they went on a mission. They were just a dark, like they were just basically an assassin for fish new. Look, by the way, that whole storyline, again, if you take it literally, those missions and stuff, yeah, whatever. But no, man, the Krishna's conch shell, the, the, the, wait, which one, which one has the

club? He's got a spinning disc. The spinning disc is cool. Sheva was the villain in the first one, and the whole gimmick was, but again, this is poser, Krishna stuff, but it's like when they started getting sensational, but Sheva was introduced as the character

that had the club that had a womb on it, because she's the destroyer. So she would swing the club at you and a baby would come out. But the baby would spend a lifetime getting to your face. And by the time it got to your face, it was your age. And it was you. Yeah, and it was you.

And then it died. And then you were like, you missed me. And she was like, did I? Pretty sure I nailed you dude. And then you look down at this dead like metahuman on the ground that's like you going like, yeah, she got you. But I what I love the most about that is the part where when the people who had Themselves flung at them and watch themselves age as they were hurtling towards them when they're dying Yeah, the last thing they saw was them younger as they were hurtling towards them

So you not you didn't just witness your own Collapse into old age disease and death in those moments when he threw the baby But you would also witness in your last moment you young. That's the ultimate punishment. Yeah, you get a glimpse of your healthy I mean, I'll do the destroyer man. I like like like for sure I just think that that's the reason why then it turned into like Shiva of the week with the Christian of franchise. Shiva of the week. Really? Shiva of the week?

You didn't like the NFTs? You didn't like that? I made a lot of money off of some of those. I think they started listening to the fans too much. I think I'll say it. I think there's such a thing as playing to the playing to your base too much. I think I'll say it. I think there's such a thing as playing to the playing to your base too much. Okay, well we live in the age of social media and like allowing your base to be involved creatively. This is another disagreement we have. Do you, are you, like, where are you, so are you, where are you at in thinking about God?

Like what are your thoughts on that? Like does it ever cross your mind anymore if you just written off the concept? Because I know like one of the things I love about you, it is it seems like you're pretty like a post God or you're not into that. I don't, I think I'm just scared of God. I don't, I don't think I'm a post.

Oh my God. Post god. Like maybe there was a time when you felt like something or connected or there was a sense and now you've, your mind is like unraveled it to the point of like, but you're saying you're scared of God. Yeah, but you're right. Post, I thought you said a post, but post is, post is're scared of God. Yeah, but you're right.

Post, I thought you said a post, but post is probably kind of accurate. I really have become, I don't see this as a good thing. I'm not bragging about it. Nor do I see it as a, I don't think this is a fate of compil, like I'm not pronouncing it and forgiving it and saying this is how it's gonna be.

But I do feel like my, like I'm defined by exhaustion lately. And I bet that's a really relatable thing. I think that, it's like the minute we wanna start talking about post pandemic, we also are feeling already post post pandemic. Like we're post everything.

We're we keep going, we keep going through things that we don't want to hear about anymore. And like it's been a weird, I would have said five years, but maybe we should now start saying decade, but it's like, anyways, like I don't, I don't mean I'm in the same position that everyone else is in. I just mean like I don't think I'm all that unique in that ever, all these major conversations, like people saying, like, do you believe in ghosts or where are you at spiritually or even like, how's your relationship going, your perfect relationship with Cody,

where you have no problems on or or what's going on with your drinking, your woodworking, your friendship with Duncan. I'm kind of like, there's this big headline where I'm kind of like, I'm like first and foremost, I'm just kind of in a holding pattern thing where you're like, I'm in some kind of inert, like I'm not putting any energy out, I'm not really

taking any in. I feel like some kind of like weird chrysalis that we don't know if the caterpillars dead or not. Oh my god. Like, like, it could be the coolest thing in the world if it's, if, if something happens from here, or is this just what happens when a caterpillar dies? Wow. Wow.

Wow. I was reading something about, this is a kind of a sad, but also cute. I find it part of it uplifting. I was explaining to somebody about, we were talking about acetone and fingernail polish, and I was like, by the way, trivia about that thing with the caterpillar experiment,

where they used the chemical from fingernail polish to test whether or not caterpillars retained their, anything, any memory at all, through the metamorphosis before they become a moth or a butterfly. And the person I was talking to, I'd never heard of that. I feel like your listeners probably,

that's like, they're beyond that. They're like, yeah, don't even waste my time. They already started hitting a 15-second forward button. I mean, I'll try to take 15 seconds so you can hit the button and I'll tell Duncan about the acetone. In fact, they took a bunch of caterpillars. They basically tased them with tiny caterpillar tasers

while making them smell fingernail polish. I'm oversimplifying here. I'm making it more adorable because it was definitely more like they made them crawl across a plate that was fucking subtly electrocuting them. But in any case they subjected let's say a hundred caterpillars to mild electric shocks while making them smell fingernail polish which is just a potent enough thing that they knew caterpillars could smell it. Yeah.

So then they let all hundred of them then go on and make their chrysalis and hang out and turn it into butterflies. Then they took the hundred butterflies and you know, I'm sorry. I gotta go back, I'm sorry. They only electrocuted 50 of them. They made them all smell nail polish.

They were rubber. They they tased 50 of them. They made them all smell nail polish. They were rubber. They tased 50 of them while doing that. They let all 100 of them turn into butterflies. Then they go, hey, butterflies, what do you think of nail polish remover? And 50 of those butterflies went, get the fuck away from me. Wow.

That was, I'm being hyperbolic and silly. So they remember. The, the,, I'm being hyperbolic and silly. So they remember. They were finding was something, and I remember thinking, you know, you couldn't ask any nine year old girl. Like, you didn't have to do all of this, like guantanamo stuff. You can't, like, like, no, there's no, like,

like, like, life loving, like, sentient little kid on Earth that couldn't have told you before you did that experiment. Well, of course, the caterpillar is gonna remember if you traumatized it before you went to sleep and woke up as a butterfly. But the side is to be like, I'll be damned. Yeah!

I'll be damned, you can really get in these fuckers heads. Anyway, the thing that I thought was adorable about it Yeah, I'll be damned you can really get in these fuckers heads The thing that I thought was adorable about it in a sad kind of tragic way is that because I was Explaining this to someone that was going I've never heard about this I didn't want to be wrong about it and I didn't know if I was gonna be like misleading somebody about the science So I googled it and when you Google Caterpillar So I googled it and when you Google caterpillar You like like when you Google any question about caterpillars like the results you get clearly indicate that

In spite of this being a new world with like speeding bullet trains and robots and aliens visiting us and AI taking over One thing hasn't changed, which is that there are still kids out there everywhere collecting caterpillars, putting them in boxes, because all of the results when you Google, it's other kids asking, why did my caterpillar die?

Why did I do something wrong, basically? It's like, I was like, oh, I remember wanting to know that. Like putting caterpillars in a cardboard box and letting them, and feeding them leaves, and then they, one day you open the box, and they're all dangling like gremlins like from their chrysalis's chrysalis. And then, but then the big question that the kids want to know is, wait, dangling like gremlins like from their chrysalis's chrysalis.

And then, but then the big question that the kids want to know is, wait, how come they all didn't turn into butterflies? And the answer is, because God plays the numbers and you didn't do anything wrong, that caterpillar could have been an alcoholic way before it. It digested itself with its own shitty ends. Yeah, yeah. Because the kids are thinking like I must have done something wrong.

I must have, I must have misfed the caterpillar. I must have traumatized its chrysalis. Yeah. Anyway, that doesn't darken my world. I thought that was sweet, because I like the idea that today's children are, they're still human, and they're still worried about, they still anthropomorphize the nature around them, and they still

want to raise things and do it right, and they're still learning about life and death in similar ways. Yeah, that's comforting, right? Because the, yeah, you can get caught up in all that stuff you mentioned earlier and get the sense that like, you know, okay, it's definitely some form of apocalypse. Not the apocalypse we predicted. It's weirder than any apocalypse and it's converging, weirness on weirness, on weirness on weirness, which is probably for a lot of people so intolerable that they just stop listening to it.

But still, yeah, things are, this is something my David, David Nickler, and then my meditation teacher says to me, it said to me for years, which I thought about over and over, which is the world today, people today, rather, are exactly the same, are pretty much the same as when the Buddha was walking around. Nothing has really changed that much at all. Exactly the same, exactly the same issues, exactly the same. It makes sense just from a biological perspective. I'm guessing like the Neo Cortex, probably if it has changed over the last thousand years, it hasn't changed that much.

It's probably pretty much the same. And meaning that like the root of it all is identical. And that's the confusing thing about all this stuff. Things have gotten faster. Things are shinier and brighter. And that's the confusing thing about all this stuff. Things have gotten faster. Things are shinier and brighter, but the computer running this stuff is just the same day I'm computer. But I don't know.

I'm afraid to Google if the Neo Cortex has evolved, like how long it takes for a human brain to evolve over time. I don't know if there's been any changes. It's not what we got, because I mean, what you learn from the caterpillar experiment, to me, has huge implications on that because what you happen to learn from that is that even though a caterpillar turns to complete soup before it becomes a butterfly, in other words, there ain't no caterpillar brain inside the crystal that like sits in there

and then gets transferred into a butterfly chassis. It's the head to toe caterpillar turns completely into what we would pretty much call the absence of a caterpillar, minus the fact that it's still, it doesn't have a heart, it doesn't have lungs, it doesn't have kidneys, it doesn't have a heart, it doesn't have lungs, it doesn't have kidneys, it definitely doesn't have a brain. It's fricking soup and it's like a homogenous

oparins primordial soup that then genetically we get it. It's coded to then start the butterfly process. I think there's entomologist now who will maybe write in if that's still a thing and say, big it might retain a nervous system. It might not be complete soup, but the scientists were interested to know, to me what it suggests is, oh crap, your thumb, if you hit your thumb with a hammer, it might not matter if you got over it in therapy. Your thumb might actually pass on the experience

of getting hit to your son's thumb. I know that's a childish way of interpreting it, but it also is like in a more coalescence with what our therapists tell us and what our Eastern like advisors have always told us which is more in keeping with Like full body health and stuff saying like you you are not a brain inside a Lego Structure with two arms like like piloting it around you are your fingernails. You are your heart You are your kneecaps, your whole body experiences things.

And that mean, that's a departure from the Darwinian model that suggests that there's this completely autistic for lack of a better word, separation between genetic information, like the only way your species can change is because, you know, a mutation that stands the test of two people hooking up, and just gets passed on accident, and then accidentally makes your kid get into college better than the other kid.

That's the whole, that's the standing kind of mutation based Darwinian model. And we've always been poking holes in that mathematically. We're like, well, there's something a little more going on here because you don't just get us gradually longer neck as a giraffe. Like one day they kind of grow a little longer. And humans like, we evolve in these spurts. Now to add to that, this idea that, remember your my high school science teacher

was very clear on the fact that he's like, you use the example to say like, okay, so Jessica here has curly hair. If I take a hair brush and curl out her hair, if I give her straight hair, and then she has a baby with Mark over here, and we're all thinking at this point, what high school did you go to that the teacher's talking this way? And I'm like, it was called the late 80s. But like, like, like, like, like, like, like like the point he was making was like,

their baby's hair isn't gonna be straight because I combed out Jessica's hair, right? Right. And that is, that's something that we did need to learn in high school, but it's not something that we know for sure in about life for sure yet, that these experiences that we're having in one lifetime,

there might be a way that that information is finding, finding its way into our, maybe into our DNA. That sounds like pop science to anybody who's like a straight liner, but I mean, it's the idea that we're, you know, it's like, if I take the right, the ayahuasca, or just everything that I'm learning in my life, like, is it affecting me in a way that changes the sperm cell that might impregnate Cody. And so you're, because sometimes it's comforting what you were saying, that, well, look, everything's staying the same. Where our species is a minute old compared to anything. Like, that's quote unquote beneath us. Like yes, we're apex awesome leading edge,

like the latest in biological innovation from an evolutionary standpoint, but that also makes us dumber in crucial ways. Like it makes us unable to know ourselves very well because we don't have a big long history, the way spiders do. We can't, we don't know nothing about ourselves

except that we just got here. And so sometimes it's really comforting to be like, we haven't changed, we're still cavemen. Absolutely nothing has changed about that because the healthy thing about that is to observe like, we haven't changed. We're still cavemen. Um, absolutely nothing has changed about that because the healthy thing about that is to observe like, look, I know your boss is yelling at you and you haven't had your coffee today and the guy cut you off in the freeway and then we're talking about AI is replacing your job. It's okay for you to be freaking the fuck out about that stuff and punching a wall or taking a shit, you know, passive

aggressive way and a seven or left a shit in a passive aggressive way at a seven or left, but whatever you're weird, whatever shit you thought you were gonna, where you're like, what am I doing? I think it's comforting, we tell ourselves, it's like what you're doing is losing your mind because you're a guerrilla man. And you like are, you're dressed up like a spaceman

and like holding a briefcase and going like, like beep, beep, nupe, nupe, and you're properly shaming yourself for not living up to the standards of a gray from planet, gababoop, but you really are just a blink of an eye ago. One of those Australopithocines that was like, they were dry hump in each other in the cold open of Kubrick's movie. Yeah, man.

But then again, sometimes that's really discomforting. This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by Factor America's Number 1 Meal Kids Service. Now, as we approach the singularity, Terence McKinnon predicted that the power of the event that is going to happen around 2045 was so intense that it would send taggy on particles going backwards through time that would cause ripples in time space creating what he called novelty events events astounding events unpredictable events and truly of all the weird things happening right now. One thing I never predicted is that one day there would be fresh, microwavable food

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That's code Duncan 50 factor meals dot com slash Duncan 50 to get 50% off your first box. Thank you factor. But then again, sometimes that's really discomforting. Like, to say, you haven't changed that much. And yeah, you're saying right now, like, yeah, I haven't checked, but I just, it's like, I, I would just, the, they'll release these studies where they're like,

like, people would have to Google this. I don't have actual information that I'm gonna get right, but they'll, you'll hear something about how women, human women are, their puberty is coming earlier or later. As a result of, like changes or something, or the amount of artificial light is like changing,

changes or something or the amount of artificial light is like changing um Like when when our species gets its first period or some shit like that our sperm count being like way lower since world war two um Like so then there's those things where you're like just when you're tempted to be like What are friends like the more things change and where they stay the same so you have the same problems that they had in Buddha's time And then you're like to be like, what are friends? And like, the more things change, the more they say the same. So you have the same problems that they had in Buddha's time. And then you're like, yeah, but also shit. Like what about, what about what about the fact

that we're like surrounded by like, you know, shit that's affecting their environment? I don't know, there's people, there's people that say, they insist on walking around barefoot, and I can't fault their logic because they stick a multimeter in, you know, one needle in the earth, and they touch the other one with their finger,

and they go, look at the amount of charge that comes up through the ground into your body if you're walking around barefoot on the natural earth. And that now look when you're wearing shoes, you're disconnected. How is that not supposed to affect an animal that has now controlled?

I don't know. I don't know. That sounds like you have to wash sometimes, but then it's like, like, how much damage can we do? And like a short period of time within a couple generations, if everyone's just like, we should start wearing shoes.

And then all of a sudden, it's like, little did they know that you're supposed to receive a .05 milliampt electrical current through the bottom of your feet, like for 12 hours a day, or you start to lose your fucking mind. Well, the, okay, so the unsh... I think you're right, I mean, like saying,

like I don't think he means like, like humanity, I mean, you can just look at like the size of humans through, like you go to the, you know, my mom used to be into this and it seemed so boring, honestly, it still does to me. They do these, the thing where you go to like London and you take a piece of paper and put it over some of these, I don't know, coffins and you scrape them

so you get like, you know, the image of the coffin. Anyway, people were very short back then. Like they've got a bunch of little baby people. Tiny little kings. Tiny picture kings is being like hooking. They were little, little, little a little baby. Just little baby people. Tiny little kings. Tiny picture kings is being like hooking. There were little, little, little, little people. Like if we were back, if we traveled back a time, we would seem like giants.

And I'm sure that there's infinite other things that we don't even know about that used to be part of being human, that are just gone now, that pre-flood shit, who knows? But the component that is staying the same is old age, disease, and death. That these things that we have to contend with,

those don't seem to be going away. And then the other thing that isn't changing is that all this shit is happening inside of space, that there is some like, when Buddha's in they call it emptiness, so there is this equality of sort of non, even the word itself is confusing. But to get into the science of it all, all of us by now have heard that within our atoms, there's space, there's more space that we are,

we don't see it, but that we're just space. But was it remember in high school, they would say they would show a football field and then say like, show a football field and then say like if you if this football field were an atom like the quarterback would be an electron or a proton or something like that. It's like that's how much that's how much that's the ratio of of nothing to stuff an atom is.

And you're not your ass never touches a chair of your this one. Yeah. Yeah. It's always a lot. And you're not, you're asked, never touch as a chair of your, this one. Yeah, yeah, it's just being repel. You're just essentially repel. You know, we don't even touch anything. We're just being repeled by everything. Nothing's ever touched anything, right? I mean, nothing's ever touched anything. And so all of this points to what is, I think, really uncomfortable for a lot of people, which is

that you are mostly empty inside, mostly emptiness. There's more space and there is matter in the universe, and that the human experience is one of existing within that absurd reality in the most temporary fleeting way, like a game show where you were supposed to learn some complex shit in like five seconds and then you're gone. That seems to be the same. Like that, regardless of how much com we're splattering out. And when you get your period and what was and how how much shorter Napoleon was than Al Capone. Yeah. Yeah.

Still just no matter what, still in that predicament of three, four, five generations afterward dead. No one is going to be really like talking about us. Maybe you, but I'd say you get like seven generations. Seven generations. You know, I like when you're trying to be conciliatory. You're like, I don't want to look like I can't tell if you're wanting to keep me from going out on a ledge, because I wanna be remembered five generations from now,

or if you're like being like, another realista. Another realista. You're being self-loathing where you're like, well, maybe you but not me. I do want to be fun. Yeah, no, it's a little bit of everything you mentioned. I didn't make community. Like that, that, that, that people that's going to be floating around for a while.

There's an echo of harmin that will, that will probably be a little less entropic than the trussle echo. Uh, people will still read that bullshit book of poetry you wrote about how awful Gaddafi is. That'll be floating around some of the someone I'm in for that. I will defend that the same way I always have. It was supposed to be a book about about dogs. I that's what I sold to Penguin House. Yeah. Yeah.

But you did. And I told him halfway through, I had a lunch with my editor and he said, a lot of these dog poems are becoming about Kadoffi and your hatred for it. And I was like, I'm trying, Brian, I'm trying. And Brian said, you're misinterpreting me, Dan. And then he turned to the waitress and said,

who we still called waitresses. And he said, can I have more neutral sweet, which we were putting on everything back then. Everything. And everything. And I believe I probably, if I was being having a typical day, I was probably like, and two Rubik's cubes, please.

And then he turned to me and said, you're misinterpreting me, Dan. I'm telling you, drop the dogs. Go, Kadoffi. Like, and I was like, really? And he's like, I know that we told you we didn't want to anti-Kadoffi book when we, but now I can see you straining within the fabric of this dog bullshit.

Like, I get that you love Basset Hounds, but I get more that you hate Kadoffi, and the truth is I can't contain it, and I don't wanna be that guy. Well, you were ripping off Shell Silverstein. I mean, to me, it's like, fine, you wanna do a fucking angry book about Kadoffi, go ahead, but don't do Shell Silverstein.

Kadoffi, get off of me. That's... Well, it was the... I mean, that's a... You got a... The book gets sold by once on the cover, okay? So you're literally judging a book by its cover. Yes, it was me shrugging like...

Like, yeah, it's wordplay, but... It was awful. The picture is awful. I mean, I'm sorry, man. I would not say this is someone I didn't love Kiddoffy get off of me if I was your admirer I would have killed myself. I would I regret I Regret what wait wait no, I'm sorry if this is like too much information and a secret What did happen to that editor? Can you talk about what happened him?

Well his son killed him His kids he got shot by his own son. Yeah. And it was for bad editing. Like, but, and the technical truth is that his son did not serve a day of time because the jury and judge agreed that it was according to them. What do they call it? Lawful homicide? What do they call it? Like just a homicide. Justifiable homicide. It was just a foot. Yeah, that's the most insane case.

Justifiable homicide. It was like open steps. And on editors, they said it was just a foot. Yeah, that's the most insane case. Justifiable homicide. Because it was like, open steps on editors. They said it was going to be, but then the other side of it was like, no, this was the worst editor ever. Like, look, I mean, the bottom line is a man died and apparently legally. And I think that's insane. Was he a good editor? Not according to our government. What he was your book was the last book he had it in. Yeah, it was me and I think he did one by Dershowitz. He had the Dershowitz was okay but God damn Gaddafi get off of me. Yeah, the guy deserved to get murdered. I mean I

think we're all gonna agree. I'm not gonna write another book. Libya, Shmibia. Okay. Well, now you did read it. At least you got, you got, you got, I said, I read it, you're my friend. You got past the spot.

That's good. Libya, Shmibia, actually. Libya, Shmibia. Whatever. How do you even edit that? How do you edit that? Libya, Shmibia. No, no, no.

The point wasn't to edit it. The point was to express myself. Maybe you edit too much. Libbyish, maybe a go-go-go. Time to go, Giddafi. Time to go. Yeah. That's not even a poem.

I don't even know what that is. Well, that's one stands out. Libbyish, maybe a go-go-go. Do you have your coat? Do you have your hat? I don't know what that is. Well, that's one stands out. Libbyish maybe a go, go, go. Do you have your coat? Do you have your hat? I don't know. Libbyish maybe a come, come, come. Where have you been?

To Texas and some. Yeah, it's so bad. I can't, you're such a great writer. You're talking about it already, great writer. I was talking about it already. Like, like, like, it wasn't, I shouldn't even you're such a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer.

You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer.

You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer.

You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You're talking about a great writer. You You, I gotta tell you, man, it's so sappy. I feel so lucky to be on your show. Like, it is the coolest fucking thing.

The coolest experience to watch the evolution from the table read to like, and knowing you well enough to know where you're, you've been involved like watching the shift. It's the coolest thing. And it's also the coolest thing to just be an actor. To just, you just get to come in, read the lines. Yeah, well, I, yeah, that must be pretty fun.

It's the best. It's, you know, I haven't made a billion shows. I made one show and I love the fact I got to make it, but my God. That, those are some of the most stressful, that's like the most stressful year of my life. Like the number of plates you have to keep spinning, the pressure, the stress,

the like not knowing, trying to interpret what the executives are saying, trying to not overinterpret it or not let it impact too much, learning how to convey what you're planning to do to them the whole plethora of weird skills that you have to have to be able to do that stuff. What, how are you handling it?

How are you handling doing that on top of all the other things that you're doing? I'm sorry if you asked this question all the time, but when people mention you generally, it's kind of like how the fuck is he doing all of this simultaneously? How are you doing? I don't think, you know, I'm doing fine.

I don't like my relationship with my work. I don't, there's a version of me that used to obsess about what I did and that guy wasn't a great guy. He wasn't happy, it wasn't making other people happy, except through his work sometimes, possibly. But I don't think the ratio of misery experienced to pleasure out was, I don't think it was equitable, but I know that that guy would look at the guy I am now and be like, what are you even doing? Like you suck, and I'd be like, well, of course you'd say that because now I'm happy, but

I, they're both right. I don't think it's possible to make something that like changes a person from sad to happy if you yourself didn't undergo a kind of almost equivalent thermodynamic shift while you were making it. Like, and I so I think if you're just hanging out and being like, let's all have fun and get home by five, I think you're gonna end up with something that kind of, at best, people can lean on with an elbow

and like, they won't fall over, maybe. It's really, really, really difficult. I mean, it's just like the chorus of voices and the way they contradict each other in my head. Like, I can't tell whether what I do is good or bad anymore partially because the thing I had to rewire in my head in order to achieve a decent life is I had to go, I had to open up that panel where there was a wire connected

to or let's say where every wire that connected to what I do for a living was, was connected to myself worth and all these things and I had to rearrange those wires. They had to be like some of them had to go, some of them had to like those wires, they had to be like some of them had to go, some of them had to be inverted, some had to be like, you know, take a D2 earth through, well, yeah, but if you're home at 3 a.m. instead of 5 p.m. you still, it's just, it's such a fucking like, You still, it's just, it's such a, it's such a fucking like,

the one of the many ways in which the old version of me had an advantage is that you wouldn't need this long of an answer to, are you happy with your work from that guy because he would either say yes or no, and he could throw in as a bonus piece of information. Therefore, I'm either a good or a bad person. And he'd be done with the answer. And here I am, with my Gandalf beard and my low blood sugar diet and my

harm reductive diet and my harm-reductive drinking and my eye statements and my beautiful dogs and my prioritization and my cognitive behavioral priorities and things. I'm just like, but ask me if I like the thing I made yesterday. I don't fucking know. For all I know, it could be better. I could be, I like, there are moments when I go, if I accidentally see something I made 10 years ago, I'll go like, ooh, that wasn't as good as I remembered it. You know what?

Not that it matters. And I don't know how you do that. Untangle yourself from your work. God, Jesus, that I know what you're talking about. And it's so fucked up. It's so fucked up that one's happiness or one sense of value as a human being is connected to some whatever the output is. I mean, it's like hardcore capitalism, hardcore. It's exactly what would work. And it's why there's an Adderall shortage. It's, you know, we've been taught to do that.

It's satanic. It's satanic. And I don't, I wish I could say that I didn't do that. And there's a lot of crisis and too much artist worship because it's way more likely that you're gonna make something good in collaboration with a bunch of people. Even in the old days when we could get away with the auto-er model, where we would say,

well, this is a genius, so everything he makes, oh, Christopher Nolan, by himself, well, the rest of us can only let them down if we work with them Even when we could get away with that It was still very true and very obvious that yeah, but Christopher Nolan's gonna need the right 200 people helping him Yeah, or this could go one way or the other But now now we know even that's not, you don't even start that with it.

It's still, it's like, so, but, but we've got so much momentum that comes from, like you say, it's like this hustle culture, it's capitalism. It's this hustle culture, it's capitalism. Capitalism never asked for the job, the very low paying job of raising children. It would have said, no, I'd rather work on Wall Street,

but we gave it every fucking job in the country. And capitalism will take any job you offer. It's like, it It will just lay one, it will just leave one laying on the sidewalk. Like capitalism would turn a profit off of homelessness if it could, it will. And so, yes, when we decided, you know, both parents should go to work and they should give, they should instill their children

through their nanny with the values that will get that kid into the college that gets that kid placed in a job that will allow them to have enough children that can work. All of that is part of an explosion of our economy. Now, so like the, where that trickles all the way down to me is like, oh yeah, so for a while there, I was really fucking proud of myself for being supposedly the guy whose job it was to determine whether or not millions of people felt good when they watched TV. And that is, because my big dilemma is

like, you know, if I could live my life all over again, I know that there is a way to actually be an incredibly gifted producer of television. Unfortunately, it very much involves being good with people. And like, because there is such a job as like being a leader, but it doesn't involve soloing on your guitar and expecting everyone to catch up to you. And it doesn't involve throwing a guitar at anyone, and it doesn't involve even inspiring them to be better at guitar.

It involves fucking like, it just involves like, like listening to them and like working. But I think I sound like I'm being like, mock humble almost, like it's not, and I'm not that woke that I'm like, the doll bulls are, I just think there, yes, there needs to be somebody at the top of a thing. But that person's job is just as much to like,

like, like, you get to get up at 6 a.m. and be like excited to give and take notes. You can't get up and say, you can't still be awake at 6 a.m. and be like, and I better not get any notes on this because I spent a long time with it. Is that guy gonna get better work done? Yeah, but the person's gonna go insane

and like, I don't know, they're gonna burn you. Like you said, it's like capitalism will burn you out if you give it the complete job of like, what you should be doing when you should be doing it. So what am I going through? I'm 50 years old. I'm like, if you legalize heroin tomorrow, you're not gonna have a bunch of happy people

that handle heroin responsibly. And if Dan Harmon refuses to work past five tomorrow, you're not gonna, I don't think you're gonna get a bunch of good TV right away. I don't think you're gonna get a bunch of good TV right away, I don't think, and maybe, and that's what I'm going through, is kind of like, is there any way to keep the quality, but have people not go home from working with me going like, why is he gotta make me feel so empty?

I, like, like, no, I don't, not for me, not in this lifetime, so I think I'm kind of, I'm just sort of like, I'm like, I'm like, can everybody, can you guys get you shit together and like make something good? Like, without me, please, because I gotta quit. I gotta stop doing this, because look at my hair, look at my face,

look at my eyes. Do I look like a guy who wants to die on set, like Robert Altman? I'm not that kind of guy. I don't have that kind of passion. My passion was for getting people to not kill me. And I knew I wasn't gonna accomplish that by being a welder.

I would have been a, I was like, I found a thing that made people stop looking at me like they were about to eat me for dinner, which is typing stories. And then I kept at that and then got to a point where I could create jobs, then started having to deal with this idea that I had never been the underdog and was now actually responsible for people being unhappy

and then going, like, fuck, that means they're going to eat me. That was the whole point was for that and that happened. And then okay now I'm gonna make them okay so now cool it be a better person be a good person and then it's like okay let's let's let's let's let's get back to work oh this sucks well yeah I'm trying to be a good person. Well, that's weird because I hate working with you. I know, don't add to it. You only hate working with me though, 5 p.m. right? No, I had to stay up til 3 a.m.

Well, that's on you. I hate it as a five. I don't know where I'm at, man. I really, I'm like, because here's the other thing. The other thing that's so confusing about it is like, like, like, like, you, if you're the luckiest person in all of capitalism,

you, the best case scenario, especially if you start from broke, let's say, not from inheritance. If you're the luckiest person in all of capitalism, you get to be completely unrelatable. You get to have problems that other people don't have. That's what you want. That is you winning monopoly. You are the one who has a different set of problems than other people. Otherwise, you're losing that monopoly because everybody doesn't have $200 when they pass go.

You're the guy who does, and you're still playing because of the, so if that's the best case scenario, great, that's fine, that's nothing to complain about. And therein lies the extra paradox, because boy am I used to complaining. And boy, that was one of my favorite things to do outside of working. I loved the balance of the two.

That was my hobby. I did that for free. Right. I bitched and moaned about how unfair the world was to me. It was like my favorite thing. And I, you, not only can you not do that anymore, if you get your wishes granted. Yeah.

Now, listen to me complain about that. And now, if I can finish your sentence for you, you can't complain about that, either. You're complaining about nothing to be able to complain. And I'm like, I know I've been through this. It is an infinity nearer of I am alone. I got it. I know I can't complain.

I know it. I know I can't complain. I know that I most people when they say I can't complain are expressing stability There are some professional complainers out there not professional Complaining enthusiasts gourmont.ont, complainers. I've been complaining, total long. And now I can't, I can't do it. Oh poor baby, the best I can do is hate myself. That's all I can do is complain about me. But I can't do it to Cody.

I can't do it. Right. I'm gonna do it here. And the best case scenario is people in the comments will be like, this guy is fucking gone, man. Like, they were like, is he okay? And all this kind of stuff where you express

about people where you're like, like, oh, he's alone, he's, and I'm like, yeah, I know, I wanted it that way. But like, you will miss in the best cases of, in the best case scenario, kids, you will miss one day, having enough misfortune that you, at the very least, felt like you were part of something.

That's not, I know that's Molly Ringlald and the Breakfast Club doing the monologue about our heart, it is to be popular, and it's hard to unbraid that stuff because it's like, by the way, popularity is not being alone. It's stuff you're not allowed to complain about. It's goddamn. You can't complain about being pretty. Perfect. But I've been pretty, people have a allowed to complain about. It's goddamn. You can't complain about being pretty. Perfect.

But I've been pretty people have a lot to complain about. I actually, you know, but if they do, there's a thing in your head that's going to be like, how about I punch your dumb face and solve all your pretty problems? You know, we all feel... Well, you know, okay, here's one reason to complain, regardless of social standing income, is because the complaint confirms your existence as a solid thing. The complaint is the thing that gives you a sense of identity.

Right. Like, once that's gone, what the fuck are you? What do you have anymore if you don't even have your complaints? And because that's like, this is, you know, it gets written about in so many different ways. My favorite being suffering is like standing on a floor of razor blades, just pain. And in this very sad attempt to evade the reality of suffering,

you invent the story about why the suffering. The story gives you all kinds of control or a sense of control over it. And so this gets compared to like imagining a beam over the razors and then burrowing into that beam via your delusion, whatever the story is you're saying regarding the suffering and then imagining that you're not on the razors anymore. And that's the complaint idea, the complaint is the bait. You think the complaining is going to mitigate or whatever. It mostly just gives you a sense of identity. Well, there's a me if there's complaining, there's a me, there's a self.

And all this stuff you're talking about, the new way of working with people, the non-hierarchical or less hierarchical, Stanley Kubrick model, where he famously tortures Shelley DeVal, and it's a nightmare to work with him and everyone goes insane. But you get to work with Kubrick. It's just sick, but he's lauded for that.

That's like in our culture, that's like, yeah, yeah. It was a monster. He knew how to get what he wanted via pain or whatever it is. You're talking about diffusion of identity into the whole via working with people. The collaboration no longer, you don't get to be that. Like, you're trying not to be

that thing. And that could be very difficult man. That's very intense. I think that's a great way you brought it back home because we can use let's use Kubrick who is too dead to feel guilty about like using as an example, just use him as a metaphor. So was there a version of Kubrick that could have gotten that performance out of Shelley DeVal? Of course, we know, I mean, I don't wanna say, of course, we know things that we can't prove, but there's gotta be a way to make her look like Haggard and at the end of her rope. There probably is a way.

Like, but would he, do we want to sit around and wait for him to figure that out before the cast and crew of the shining get to rap and make money off of their movie? Or, it's like, that metaphor I had a dead egg is like, wait, those people aren't making any money. But, but, but, it just means like, I know. I mean, that's what, at 50, I hit a dead end, because it's like, wait, those people aren't making any money. But, but, but, it's just being like, I know what it means.

It's just, that's what, at 50, I'm kind of like, it's not, it's not a quiet, I don't, I'm not a patriot about the auto-model. I'm just a fucking product of it. Like, like, I am, my brain is so used to, like, there's so many muscles that are like,

this isn't hard work at all, this part over here. The part where you really give a huge flying shit about what you do to the point where it affects you emotionally when it's bad. Yeah, it doesn't strain my back because I was raised in a different gravity system. So your definition of something that should hurt to lift,

that's not my definition. But then all these other things are like, it's like, yeah, but why would you even, why, you look how much time you're wasting, feeling sorry for yourself or in, you know, and so you're tempted to think it's got to be either or, and that's never the answer. It's just like, it's not either or, it's just a question of like, look, you were raised in a certain kind of environment, and you did the best you could, and you're a

product of it, and you're also accountable, and you should change the way that you do things and map yourself and your universe's map should change as new data comes in. And I would never be one of those guys that's like, that's not true. We should keep doing it the way we're all way because we were doing such great things and there was no other way to do them. I'll never be that guy, nor will I ever be the guy that's like, if everybody did it the new way, everything's gonna be great again. But all of those people are out of their goddamn minds because the truth is, it is undramatic,

unruording, like it's not thrilling, the story of changing. It's not an epiphany, and then Jerry McGuire like comes in and he's a new genocidal guy. Now he's a better sports agent, because he's the opposite of what a sports agent is to be, it's not that, and it's not greed is good from Michael Douglas.

Like, oh, thank God someone said the quiet part out loud that we should all be selfish. It is some really boring thing way in between that is really hard to accomplish, which is dude, you have the psychological equivalent of like scoliosis and like you need to spend like hours a day like standing differently or being hooked up to certain equipment.

And like if you do that like 20 years from now, like your back might be like like shaped the right way. I don't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, that was the most fucked up um, metta- How could you say that? Like, I was scoliosis, Dan. Like, did you just tell me it's my fault that my back is like fucked up and then- And then I haven't done enough work on it? No, no, no, sorry, that's not- that was an unfortunate metaphor possibly. I don't know. This episode of the DTFH is brought to you by the HTML Priests over at Squarespace.com. I've been using Squarespace for years, and I love it. It's got everything.

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socials. They are the most advanced toolbox for online content on the planet. Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com Ford Slash Duncan to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Again, it's squarespace.com, Ford slash Duncan to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Thank you so much, Squarespace. Dan, you're okay.

Of all those butterflies, you work caterpillars that were forced to get taste and crawl through acetone. I would imagine, and there might be a couple who are like, if you don't crawl through acetone, you will not turn into a butterfly. You have to, you have to get shocked. Crawled through the acetone, that's how we do it from now on, or crawling through.

You wanna be a butterfly like me? Look at these fucking markings. I didn't get that from just going into my fucking chrysalis in some kids room. Yeah. No, they're talking that butterflies you're describing are called road comics. Yeah, we know. We're friends with a lot of them.

I know it is like, you know, know, it was like a Mark Greenley's comedy castle. You don't know what it was like. Man, let me, I know we gotta go. It's been over an hour, but Dan, I just must say this. And I know. You used to talk for three hours. What are you talking about? Well, I will keep going. I don't want to hold you up, man, because I know, I know.

Well, I don't know, busy or, but I just don't want to hold you up. I can talk to you. What do you, I know. Well, we'll keep going, because look, I do have to say this. I didn't know you hit record. And again, I'm on the show, obviously. So I have, and that means my nose is in it, but not as much as yours.

And every time I go in there to do some new lines or whatever, it gets funnier and funnier. So I can tell you that, you know, again, being in it and having not seen any of it, any of the barely any of the cartoon itself, there's definitely a comedic evolution that's been happening every time. Like it's getting funnier for sure. And I like to imagine that I have some sense of that that isn't like nullified by,

you know, being familiar with or being in a show. So I think you should feel good about it because it's getting, it was already funny. It's just getting funnier and funny. Well, the cast is amazing. And I know this sounds really corny, but because it becomes such an umbrella that how can it have any value?

How can it be true? A statement like everybody that's working on a show is doing a fantastic job. It's like, well, how is that true? And if it is true, how is it even important to say? But I, it's like, we've got, the cast is incredible and I think I'm just spoiled and I want the show to be a classic on episode one

and it's not and I'm like cranking that engine and I'm like, so sometimes I go like, dude, you're being such a fucking counterproductively entitled narcissist that you should be grateful that you've had two good shows instead of, and then go, so it takes a lot of luck and work to end up with a good show. Instead of this sort of like, why isn't this one good? It's like, you don't remember that you felt that way.

Season one, Rick and Morty. It's like, I can't let myself offer that hook because I'm also like, I can't let myself off of that hook because I'm also like, I didn't, it's just swirls and swirls. Like the conversation I could have of myself, and it's just like, I wanna talk about it with the planet, but then it's like, the more I do, the more it, it just like, if people just get that look on their face, like, like, and I don't even know, it's like some, they might be thinking like, how get over yourself, which would be a totally valid thing to say. thing to say. Some of them might be thinking technically the opposite, but still basically the same thing, which is like, dude, stop complaining. You've made

some great stuff. It's almost the same thing, but those two people would start fighting because they'd be like, no, he needs to get over himself. No, he needs to understand. He's amazing and stop hating himself And like you guys it's neither it's like I'm just telling you it's fucking it's a it's it It's It's you get a you got a you got a tennis ball can on your shoulders and it's like There's there's just gravel in it. And it just, you don't know what rattling is like, supposed to be there and what is your job?

Open the lid and let the gravel out, like make the can silent, poke a hole, let the gravel breathe. Is it, all I know is the sound my head makes when it uncontrollably shakes. I know that when I was 35, I could literally hook up a microphone. And literally, it's amazing to think about

in my rocking chair with my shotgun and my glass of lemonade. I used to hook up microphone up and talk about this shit unfiltered to strangers and feel good about it. Yes. And reset myself and go, so that's how I feel. I was feeling a little, feeling a little, even in a little separate from everybody. And then even without hearing people say,

that's okay, we forgive you, we, we, we feel that way sometimes too. Like having it, like feel good, but then, like, get in and then I'm past that point where it's like, I can't, I can't do that anymore. I can't, I can't talk about what's going on in my head anymore. It's a crime, it's a fucking crime to share my thoughts with people. Ha ha ha ha.

Ah, no way. Come on, fuck it. Really? It's a no man. It's an abuse of privilege, it's a fucking no. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's every, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's every, it's like there's no like, and that's the best you can hope for.

That's the end of the rainbow. You can get to a point where, congratulations, you can't talk to anyone anymore. Like, like, you have nothing to do, but either continue working quietly or retire. And boy, then they're really gonna come after you. You know, Dan, let me tell you something. There is something when I think it was on our first podcast

that I think about, and the same way I think about like stuff Ramdas told me personally and and they say, I carry it with me. I remember it in difficult times, which is you told me that if somebody, if you are being yourself, or authentic self, telling the truth, and somebody doesn't like you, it's like they don't like a cloud, they don't like the weather. It's you, you're being you, someone doesn't like you. It's like they don't like a cloud. They don't like the weather. It's you, you're being you.

Someone doesn't like you. It's like, this is who you are. And so I think that from this conversation what I've extrapolated because I'm probably an idiot, is you have to start podcasting again. That's what you need to do. You need to start up, harm and town again. You do what you need to do. You need to start up. Harman town again. Are you do? You need to stay all this shit out loud. Exercise the demons. Do the confession. Go through the whatever the fuck it is and who cares by the way of people like

you, mother fucker. How are you complaining about that? Or how could you be upset about that? Honestly, man. Well, that's the one you get that. I mean, it's like it shouldn't matter anymore. And it's not like I'm gonna be a fucking controversial brand or something. It's just, the worst case scenario is if I do do that again, is unrelateability, big deal. Like, suffering is related. Right.

Suffering is related. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. I don't know that it needs to be a reboot of Harmony Town because there might be connotations there that you could betray or a brand or something. I think I do need, I need, I mean, look what I'm doing. I'm holding you hostage because I, I love it, I don't wanna leave. I thought I was holding you hostage. I want, I am better off in terms of mental health when I am talking about this stuff.

And like, some people would say, well, that's what a therapist is for. You pay them and then you talk. And I'm like, yeah, but that's just 50 minutes. And also, like, even though fucking, you can see the glassy eyes after a while. They don't, it's like, yes, I do think you're correct about that. I do it again. I need to have an outlet where I'm like talking. Like, even if it's just like, say it out loud. I have to do it again. I need to have an outlet where I'm talking.

Like even if it's just like, say it out loud. Reading the weather, you know, I need to do a thing with a microphone because I, I, You're so good at it. Well, we're just say, like, I have a, I have the design of my head is such that if there's not

a hole in the back of my throat where the pressure kind of scape like it it doesn't do anybody good it just builds up behind my eyeballs and I'm yeah man and this like I think the idea that like people are gonna live be like oh you're at the top of the how could you go I don't think first of all I think the assessment is you know I started it's so funny that I couldn't finish the book the four hour work week if you read that book that I started it so funny that I couldn't finish the book the four hour work week. If you read that book, I think it's Tim Ferris. Well, there, you know, there is an idea in there that I think is quite brilliant, which

is who gives a fuck if you have all the stuff and zero free time? That this, you, you, what, it doesn't matter how much money you have, how much wealth you've accrued. If you are working so much that you literally have no freedom, that freedom is actually the value that's the only value. And so he's got this idea in there which I love which is find the place of minimum effort maximum result in your life. That's what you are looking for. Not maximum effort, maximum result in your life. That's what you are looking for.

Not maximum effort, maximum result, minimum effort, maximum result. That's the equation for anybody, for freedom or whatever, and recognize that it would be better. For like that, that I think I'm gonna fuck up the joke. Bill Burr has some kind of joke about like, you know, yeah, maybe there's some guy like sleeping on a mattress somewhere with like $20 in his bank account, $100 or whatever.

Completely free, he's completely free. There's that freedom that both of us had at some point. Absolute freedom, no responsibility, no kids, no employees, no, you got to make this fucking work for everybody. We worked ourselves into an interesting little trap that the more you do what you're doing, the deeper into the trap you go. And part of, and then of course, like within that, this culture of not moding the reality that of that trap is though, like you're gonna be judged. It's like, no, I think it's good for people to fucking hear. I think it's a good thing for people to hear the truth

experientially from people so that they understand all your grind culture shit. It's probably gonna work actually. It might work you're gonna work yourself to the to the bone. You're gonna work yourself to the bone. You're gonna not hang out with your kids. Man, I just, so sad, I won't say it, I'll tell you off-limits. But the point is, you're gonna cross whatever fight, you're gonna cross whatever finish line, you think on the other side, it's where you're at, and guess what's gonna happen?

You're gonna cross that finish line, just like you said, you're gonna win a loneliness. You're gonna win an aching sense of guilt because you can't enjoy what you have loneliness because you can't articulate that you are not enjoying what you have. And that to me, hearing that experientially from people versus some ASAP's fable or some bullshit is important

so that people reevaluate, you know, really literally, like, reevaluate your life. Like, I think I don't think you need to worry. It's true, I mean, the very act of somebody having nothing to gain by talking to people and choosing to talk to them, that should be therapeutic to everyone to hear anyway, because that confirms something that we need to have confirmed medicinally, which is like,

like you said, I like the way you put it, which is like when we don't have real life examples of it every day, we're having to trust some very suspicious sounding ASAP's fables. And they feel like propaganda to us. We're like, was this really by somebody that wants me to be okay being poor? Yeah.

And it's better to just be like, oh, this real human being who I'm jealous of because they own a company and they're using for free hours to, to, like I said, like when David Lynch would like, read the weather into a microphone or whatever, it's just like, like, like, to me, that's really, that alone is something that strangers need.

You could be helping them just by going, yeah, I just want to confirm that Happiness is more complicated than Being on a yacht by yourself and not needing to talk to anybody that's pretty close to prison But with water around you and So there's a reason why and it's it's like because we get the we get yeah, I was somebody to get that implication and it's like Why are you on Twitter, Mr. Famous person? Like, I'm gonna throw shit at you until you leave.

And then if that person's like, well, I'm leaving Twitter, could you? You're mean to rich people. And it's like, like, yeah, the sickness continues. And it's like, it's, like, should that person be sitting on Twitter and trying to convince people that they're normal? No, but they should be open source. And going like, by the way, just wanna let you know, I'm not dead yet, but I am that guy that you heard of

that I definitely don't have to go to work tomorrow. And, but here's how I'm feeling. Here's what I had for lunch. Here's I would find that incredibly valuable if I had a connection to versus. So I'm just agreeing with you. I think it is a thing you're doing for yourself and for other people.

Is babbling at them like into a tin cup. I think that's important. I put it off for a long time and I just, it's a complicated relationship with it. But I gotta figure out a new way to do it where I just have ownership over it and comfort and authenticity and just permission to be boring, permission to do it erratically.

Because I don't, I don't want to get, I don't, I don't like people getting addicted to a thing and then it becomes a job and then you're like, oh no, I can either stop doing it or keep doing it. There's that whole thing. Yeah, just, you know, I, with this one, I think you just start doing it. Like you just do it and you upload it and you get, you know, remember the thrilling feeling of uploading your podcast and being worried about some bullshit you said and knowing it was going to fly back in your face and how fucking fun that was to feel that anxiety like to not know what's going to happen when you unleash it into the world and all the weird responses that you get. But it's just the, you know, these conversations in my life,

I don't know what I would do without them. Like, I would, I would wither up, like, you just, you, like, yeah, I get it though, man. I mean, I'm being a little bit of a hypocrite because there are things that I don't complain about now that I used to. There are things that I won't say that I used to completely out of fear of sounding like I've lost touch,

or I've become in human, or something like that. And I think that's sad that I'm being cowardly in that way. And I wanna work through it eventually. And like, you know, but what, like, you know, it is true, I don't know. I don't know if it's true. I don't know if it's true. I don't know if it's true. I don't know if it's true. I don't know if it's true. I don't know because we have to we have to give ourselves permission to be whining or

babies Yeah, you got it That gets to be our final battle Squeaky wheel gets the come you got it you got a squeak it doesn't matter I I don't I think it's like most encounters that I have with people online, you know, if they're assholes, aside from it being like mildly interesting,

I just mute them anyway, you know? So it's like I never hear from that again, I just mute it. And then just a general basic rule that a lot of people I know about guys have which is don't read the fucking comments. If you want to fuck your mind up, go read comments written by 80% pots. 10% people who are just like having a rotten day,

and then 10% of people who probably legitimately would be happy if your head exploded. But don't go in there. Well, I said this. 10% of people who probably legitimately would be happy if your head exploded. But, you know, don't go in there. Well, I said this. And then people that love you, they're relationship with you and the reason they love you. They could, I was like, like,

like just from being a show runner. It's like, that was a big phenomenon. I was like, you know, this is the, you got inside this person's head with your show. They have, they are deeply immersed in it, and like, they're at a point when they could give two shit that it's your show and not theirs. Like, you, it's like, this not theirs. Like you,

it's like this is the ultimate fan. And it's, it's, so yeah, I know what you're saying. Yeah, I've been and don't read the comments for over a decade, but that would never be a thing, but it's also just like, it's, it's, you know, you get the comments anyway. They make it, they make their way to you. It's not, they get through, they get through, they'll, you'll get a well-aimed arrow

that lands right here. I think there's a weird sickness to like also, just like a total like, like wall, like, like, it depends on how much efforts going into it. I don't know, that's another thing to contend with, which is, it depends on how much effort's going into it. I don't know. That's another thing to contend with, which is it's been easier to not do anything because if you do something, you have to then ask yourself,

like, what is my policy about that? Am I, you know, because it's not quite as simple to me as like going, well, I don't, I don't read anything. Not if that becomes such an obstinate thing that it becomes almost performative in and of itself. Like, I go in there sometimes. If I'm reading less about myself than I'm reading about fucking Elon

because he's in my newsfeed because I googled him once. I'm like, I don't know how much healthier that is. I'm like, why is he in my fucking phone? Where did I am? I should be in this fucking. Everything. Anyways, but, now, all I did was extend our therapy session because I'm selfish, but I... No, now I'm selfish.

Now I have a mission. I want you to start podcasting in purely out from selfish. I fucking loved when I was on Harman Town. I think that there is an aspect to you that is performative. You're a performer. You are performing on that show. It sounds to me like you did the thing a lot of us performers did during the pandemic.

I sure as fuck did. I didn't perform. I stopped performing for the whole goddamn pandemic. I'm not going out there and performing. I'm not going to get whatever COVID or what. I don't want to, I don't want to people to come in to my shows and die two weeks later kill somebody all this stuff no performing and then I came to Austin and

Performed again and that's when I got co-ed that's when I got But I will say this that first moment of like being back on stage, when I had you know been telling Aaron, maybe I won't do stand-up anymore, maybe I'll just let the pandemic be the transition and I'll just be a podcaster. And that first moment of like being in front of people again and performing, man, that was like, oh shit, I need this, like this is without this, I'm like, I'm missing something in my life. And I think maybe that's the thing

you're talking about, the day, you're not a dead caterpillar, well, you're not in a, this isn't a dead caterpillar situation. This is just a performer who got fucked by the pandemic and is doing a show where you're you're making awesome funny things, but you're not getting a direct response from an audience to tune the guitar or so to speak. You know, to like get your, don't you remember like that thing that

happens when you're performing where the comedy part of your brain gets a little more fine-tuned or something. Something about direct reaction from an audience regarding funny, not funny, informs this part of your brain and you carry that into your other work. Yeah, I think you're right. I think it's like, when I'm starting to get into electronics, like, so that's the metaphor that lends itself where it's like, I think it's about voltage and resistance and

amperage. I think that if your circuit's too simple, there's a fine line between a simple circuit and a short circuit. You know, the more complex it is, the less likely it is that there's going to be a feedback loop that creates technically infinite wattage, which is actually unhealthy, where the battery is getting back way too much of what it put out. And then it's overheating.

It's like every human is different. Right, I gotcha. We all need different levels and configurations of little light bulbs and resistors and diodes out there to, if all they do is take the energy from in the battery and displace it enough that what is coming back to the negative end of our battery isn't overloaded with all of our own bullshit.

It's another way of staying, it's a healthier way of saying that if you're an incomplete person, why not go wipe your fucking anxieties all over the faces of a bunch of strangers, it's kind of like better than dealing with it in your own head. But that's a mean way of saying it. And no, you're gonna go insane if you keep letting this ship

bounce around in your own skull instead of connecting with other people and sharing it with them. That's a nice way of saying it. And, but there's an objective truth, which is like, there's an urge to do it. And the results of it are by my memory more positive than negative. Right now they are for me.

Hearing you talk about this stuff, you know, finding the places in me where I'm experiencing that, like it's so good, it like helps people and I, you know, I don't think that should be necessarily the reason you do it. And I think, you know, it is true. You are wiping your insecurities on people's faces, but people like that. People, there's actually a lot of pleasure in hearing

that you're not the only fucking person suffering post pandemic. That you're not the only person who's like going through shit and you're afraid to say it out loud. Satan, that's what the devil wants. That Satan, Satan's like, shut the fuck up. You really gonna say that? You think you have anything to say anymore to people? Nobody wants to hear that shit.

Well, from your ivory tower. Nobody wants it. Bullshit. That's total bullshit. That is not true at all. Not true at all. Suffering is universal. The flavors of suffering or the configurations of the suffering ice cube and the suffering ice cube tray might vary, but the thing itself is universal. And the ability to like just freely talk about it is cathartic for everyone involved. Everyone. Well, for once we agree on something. Well, yeah, I mean, yeah.

It's so, and you know, I'll tell you this, man, you know what happened to Gaddafi right before he got murdered in the most brutal way possible. Well, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what happened to Kadoffi right before he got murdered in the most brutal way possible. Well, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell with a CIA with the Libyans do you fucking hated that you hated that CIA not today another shitty poem in your book CIA not today you took the poor list of the listeners that think if I just Google Kadoffi I'll then I'll find all of this very funny like like, and it's like, now not really. Like, there's nothing in the, there's nothing in the Kedafi Google entry

that's gonna make you go, oh, what a great bit. Listen, it's just absurdism. It was a random reference and then we doubled down. Dan, if you wanna start an anti-gaddafi or like a sort of like, remember that dumb show where they had the liberal and the conservative? And they would argue with each other over that I will do that with you with Gaddafi. I will be the person who defends Gaddafi, you hate Gaddafi. We can fight, find a common ground around Libya, Gaddafi, what happened,

the petro dollar. And I think it will be a very beloved podcast. around Libia Kedoffi, what happened? The Petro Dollar? And I think it will be a very beloved podcast. Dan, I love you so much, man. It's so nice to catch up with you. I miss you a lot. Yeah, I miss you too. It's always, it's always lay for Demi. Wait, Cody, Cody said, I guess I gotta

dunk it to podcast. And she's like, oh, Tom. We gotta do a double date I'm like he doesn't live here. I'm right, right? I'm not just yelling at people. Yeah, yeah Cody's right and yeah, but you You know I think you would rule You don't get sorry. I'm sorry. I said Cody's right. I know you hate it when I say that you're right You know what I call her you know how wrong she is I call her Cody Yaffee That's how wrong she is? I call her Kodiyafi. That's how wrong she is. Wait, let me ask you this.

This might be an offline question for real. Are you guys kicking around reproducing? Did I hear that? Like kicking around? I have it all the way. We haven't shut the door on it. You know. Okay, offline of them.

Get ready for never ending horrific, bleeder pressure. I'm not talking to you offline. I'm going from here to the bar. Oh, I'm mistrinking with you, Dan. I'm going from here to the bar. It's all everybody. All this stuff you told me in confidence about aliens. And that will be edited out. Marking clip.

All right, Dan. I love you, man. Thank you so much for being on the show. Thank you, my baby. I miss it. I love you too. I can't wait to see you again. That was Dan Harmon.

Everybody, a big thank you to our sponsors. Remember, you're going to get banged down and boked up. This summer, by me, all the links you need to find the application to apply to be one of my clients, are gonna be at dunquertrustle.com. And of course, there is an initiation fee, and I don't wanna, I just don't wanna hear it from folks like my God, I can afford $50,000,

just to fill out a form. I don't want to sign all these NDAs. Okay, fine. Go work out by yourself. Go find another trainer. Go try to emulate my process. It's not going to work. How much is your health worth to you? I've got to ask for those of you who don't want to pay that initiation fee. It's just your body. It's just the thing that carries you around through the world. It's not worth much, I guess, to you.

But for those of you who really want to get in shape, love life, and are good people, I know you'll be willing to pay the the tiered fee system. And of course, you will get commissions for clients that you bring to me as you rise up in the multi-level marketing structure based on the anygram that is built into my new corporation. So I look forward to hearing from all of you business-minded, health-minded, sexual entrepreneurs out there. We are going to have a great summer. I'll see you next week.